Author: aFigureOfSpeech

Title: Conflicting Chaos – Chapter 10

Word Count: 2,873

Pairing: NejixSakuraxKiba

Rating: T (for mild swearing, some suggestive situations, minor alcohol)

Summary: When Naruto manages to get Neji mad at him, Sakura helps Naruto, but in the process she hurts Neji's pride. Now he's out for revenge, but it may not turn out how he expected. Especially when Tsunade has plans of her own and Kiba's not going down without a fight. NejiSakuKiba

Author's Note: Heehee, lotsa fun in this chapter. Those boys had better watch out. X3 (Beware of the use of alcohol in this chapter, and the beautiful chaos that ensues. You have been WARNED.)

Disclaimer: If you look really hard, you'll see that Masashi Kishimoto actually spells my name. Not that any of you know what my real name is. But seriously: Me. No. Own.

Chapter 10: Drunk? Who, Me?

Naruto was bored. The mission was over and nothing exciting was happening, nor did he have anything to do. Man oh man, he was bored, and a bored Naruto is prone to doing stupid things just for the sake of avoiding this. So, what brilliant idea did he come up with?

"Hey Kiba!" yelled a certain bored blond. "I saw a town not too far from here while I was out scouting. You wanna see if they have a bar?"

"Sure, why not?" Kiba agreed. "Not like much is happening around here-"

"Just where do you two think you're going?" demanded a voice from behind them. Naruto winced.

"Oh, h-hey Sakura-chan," Naruto said sheepishly. "We were just about to go to that bar I saw and, you know, get a few, um, drinks…" He gulped, looking at the girl in front of him who, with her hands on her hips, somehow managed to look very imposing (for all she was at least a head shorter than either of them and had a squirrel on her shoulder). He wished he could do that…

"Define 'a few,'" she said, switching her position so that her arms were now crossed in front of her. Oh hell, she could be damn scary when she wanted to. Naruto felt Kiba shift uncomfortably next to him.

"Oh, you know, just a couple." Naruto gave a nervous little chuckle. Then he decided to use his secret weapon: puppy-dog eyes that would have put Akamaru to shame. "Pretty please?" Ah-ha-ha, all fall before the mighty puppy-dog eyes!

"No."

Damn. He had forgotten that Sakura had developed an inconvenient resistance to his tricks. She continued. "If you get drunk, it'll be up to me and the rest of us to make sure you don't do any damage, to yourself or otherwise."

"Aw, come on Sakura." Kiba tried his hand at convincing her. "We won't stay too long. We'll be back by sunrise. Besides, the mission is done and we could use a night out."

"Yeah, don't be a party-pooper," Naruto added. He watched gleefully as Sakura relented under the combined might of two puppy-dog faces (one of which was from a dog-nin himself. Oh, the shamelessness of it all).

"Alright, alright, you win," she said with a sigh, holding up her hands in defeat. "But," she glared at them to emphasize her point, "if you guys haven't returned by then, I will personally drag your sorry butts back here, and you won't like that. Understood?" They nodded eagerly. "Alright, get out of here then. But leave Akamaru. I don't think a bar would be very good for dogs."

With a laugh and a whoop, the two ninja hightailed it away. As Naruto passed Neji's tent however, something made him stop. It could have been something to do with the strange sounds he heard, almost as if Neji were…talking to himself. Although he couldn't hear much, he was able to make out a couple of phrases that sounded something like "baka," "must find," "rock," and "how the hell are you going to get out of this one." Naruto came to one conclusion: Neji needed help. Help that came in small bottles and could not be taken in excess amounts without serious side affects. Ahh, the joys of alcohol.

"Naruto, what's the hold up?" asked Kiba, who had finally realized he was short one highly energetic ninja.

"Wait a minute. Hey Neji!" Naruto called. The mutterings abruptly ceased.

"What do you want?"

"Well, me and Kiba were going into town," said Naruto, "and I was wondering if you'd like to join us for a couple of drinks."

"No."

"Well, that was unexpected," muttered Kiba sarcastically.

"Why not?" demanded Naruto. Neji stuck his head out the tent flap, clearly annoyed.

"Me? Go with you? To drown myself in a drink that will make me forget who I am and why I'm…so…miserable…" If Neji trailed off here and gained a look of thoughtfulness and realization, Naruto completely missed it. He continued his argument.

"Aw, come on Neji! You need to get out more! Live a little! Get-"

"Alright, I'll go."

"-drunk! Have fun-" Naruto halted, confused. "Did you just say yes?"

"Yes."

"Bu-bu-but why?" he demanded, shocked. Neji sighed in exasperation and rubbed his temples.

"One, because no matter what I say you'll just keep bugging me, and I really don't feel like arguing right now-"

"That's a first," Sakura butted in. Neji let out another sigh, this one a bit more depressed.

"-and two, I need to drown myself in a drink that will make me forget who I am and why I'm so miserable."

"Oh. Well," said Naruto with a grin, "I know just where to take you! Come on, Kiba!" He slung an arm over each of them. "We're going into town!" Both Naruto and Kiba let out another whoop.

As they walked away, Neji growled, "Get your arm off me baka."

……………………

"So, now that the boys are gone…what should we do?" Hinata posed a good question. Sakura and Tenten considered it for a moment.

"Wellll," Tenten dragged out. "The boys aren't here, so why not talk about them?" 'Ooh, now here's an opportunity,' she thought.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh come on, Sakura!" Tenten exclaimed. "Don't tell me none of those fine specimens of the male gender in our village have caught your eye?"

"Me? What about Hinata? Why don't you pester her about it?"

"Ohh, we already know who she likes." Tenten waved her hand dismissively. Hinata turned red. "Not to be mean or anything, Hinata, but that's old news. What I want to kno-"

"Don't worry Hinata!" exclaimed Sakura. "We'll get threw that thick head of his sooner or later! …Probably later, but never fear!" Tenten cleared her throat. "Oh, sorry Tenten. Please continue."

"Thank you. As I was saying: what I want to know is who you are interested in Sakura."

"Well what about you?" Sakura retorted. "Don't tell me there's no one you want to be with." Tenten followed Hinata's suit and turned red. "Oh come on. How 'bout this, then? I'll tell if you will."

Tenten grinned at this. Oh, too beautiful. "Alright, alright. I, well, I've sort of been thinking about…Lee-kun a lot lately." Tenten's face went a few shades darker.

"Really?" asked Hinata and Sakura in surprise.

"Really." answered Tenten. "Okay Sakura. I've said my bit, now it's your turn." Sakura's face was suddenly lit with a sly smile.

"I don't like anybody," she sniggered. 'Oh, she didn't…'

"What?" Tenten exclaimed. "Hey, you tricked me!"

"That's right! Payback for trying to get me to talk with Neji-san, Tenten-chan."

"Which you didn't," glowered the weapons mistress. "Speaking of Neji, are you ever gonna get over that?"

"Hmph. As if."

"Aw come on Sakura," piped up Hinata. "You should give him a chance."

"Yeah," argued Tenten. "He can be a stuck-up, egotistical, uptight stick-in-the-mud sometimes, but he's not a bad person." Wait, that didn't come out quite right…

"Mm-hm," snorted Sakura, and then continued. "And Jaraiya's not a pervert." Tenten flinched a bit at that. Ouch. Harsh. "I've got my pride, and he can just go to hell."

"Well, he's got his pride too, you know," Tenten tried to reason with her. "I just hope you'll fully appreciate that." Sakura just snorted again.

"Whatever."

"Well then, what about…Kiba?" The dark haired girl tried to sound as casual as possible.

"What about him?"

"Do you like him?"

"Well, I suppose he's nice enough." Sakura hesitated. "Look, I just don't want to be with anyone right now. Guys can be more trouble than they're worth. Ever since-" She stopped.

"Fine, fine, fine," grumbled Tenten. So much for that idea. "We'll just make plans for Hinata and Naruto, then."

"Don't forget about you and Lee-san."

……………………

Sakura was pissed. (Again.) There was the sun, rising stunningly in the east, but Sakura was far from appreciating it. The look on her face promised pain for whoever was the cause of her intense – ahem – aggravation.

"Where the hell are they?!" she fumed, pacing. Actually, it was more like stalking. "They said they'd be back by sunrise! Well, there's the sun, but I don't see those idiots!"

"Calm down Sakura," advised Hinata, ever the voice of reason. "They're guys. They probably lost track of time."

"Or they're drunk," added Tenten.

"Most likely!" Tenten was not really helping Sakura's mood.

"Naruto-kun and Kiba-kun? Maybe. But Neji-niisan? Drunk?" Hinata raised a good point.

"Yeah, Neji's a complete stiff," said Tenten. "Don't worry, he'll make sure they stick to their word."

"Alright," Sakura consented. "But if they're not back here in twenty minutes, we're going to bail out their sorry hides.

……………………

At the bar, Neji watched in glassy-eyed fascination as Naruto and Kiba tried simultaneously to break-dance on the same table, with interesting results. Namely, the pair of them falling on their heads. Neji giggled. Yes, Neji giggled. What? They were funny.

The – ahem – slightly drunk Hyuuga looked down at his full glass. Hmmm, to drink or not to dri- oh well, there goes number seven. Or was it nine? …Whatever. He held up his cup for another round.

……………………

"Their sorry asses are SO cooked!" yelled Sakura. She grabbed hold of Hinata and Tenten and began dragging them in the direction of the town, much to their protests. She suddenly paused, yelling back over her shoulder, "Akamaru, you watch the camp, okay?" Hearing his sounds of agreement, she quickly resumed her dragging.

Oh, someone's gonna feel pain today, do da, do da, yes, there is gonna be hell to pay, oh, a do da day…

……………………

"Ergh, where the hell are they?" screamed Sakura in exasperation. The three girls had already checked in five bars and so far, nothing. Honestly, how many bars did one town need?

"Look, here's another one," said Tenten. They entered and it was soon apparent that they would get nowhere together. There were simply too many people.

"Okay guys, let's split up!" Tenten said, taking charge. "If you find one of them, go wait by the door until the rest of us get there. Then we'll figure out what to do from there."

……………………

Sakura found Neji not long after entering. Finally, some sanity. She would put off her grudge until they were all out of there. Ho could probably help her round up the other two knuckleheads.

"Neji-san, there you are! Do you know where-" She froze mid-sentence as the world slowly crumbled around her. Hyuuga Neji, genius prodigy of his clan, man who could sink the Titanic, Mr. I've-got-an-icicle-shoved-very-hard-up-my-ass, was drunk. Dead drunk. She only had to come within a few feet of him to smell the alcohol radiating off him in waves. It seemed to take Neji a few moments to recognize her.

"Ah, Sakura-chan!" he slurred. "You're here! Come on, have a drink!" Yes, the universe was definitely slipping into insanity. Well, no time to ponder how many thing were wrong with what Neji had said. She had just spotted Hinata with an unmistakable orange-clad figure, and – uh oh – it looked like she was going to need some assistance. Naruto was getting far too close to have just friendly intentions in mind. More like very friendly intentions. Better go break that up. Who knows what would happen.

"Uh, no thanks Neji-san," she said. "Look, I've got to go-"

"Aw, so soon?" he protested. Sakura paused. 'How many drinks has he had?'

"I'll be back soon, just don't move." She quickly headed off to Hinata's rescue. It involved Naruto's face becoming suddenly and unfortunately (for him) well acquainted with the floor.

"Are you okay Hinata?" she asked her friend, shaking her hand. "Damn his head is hard."

"I th-think you h-hit h-him a lit-ttle t-too hard, S-sakura," she stuttered. She was blushing furiously.

"Was he out of his mind? Or just insanely drunk?" Sakura exclaimed. "Hitting on you in plain sight of Neji-san? Even if Neji-san is drunk. Especially if he's drunk…

"Neji-niisan is drunk?! Naruto-kun is one thing, but Neji-niisan…"

"Yes, it boggles the mind," Sakura deadpanned. "Come on." She slung Naruto over her back. "We'd better get back to him before he goes and does something stupid in a fit of drunkenness.

Making their way back to Neji, Sakura saw that Tenten had also found the alarmingly intoxicated Hyuuga. She looked a bit uncomfortable, probably owing to the fact that he was trying to force a glass of something, alcoholic most likely, into her hand.

"Oh, Tenten, you're here. Excellent," said Sakura. "Do you two think you can take these guys back?"

"Yeah, no problem," said Tenten.

"But I don't wanna go home!" whined Neji.

…

…

…

Some things were too wrong for words. Sakura quickly put him out of his misery.

"Here you go." She handed Neji's limp body to Hinata. "I don't think they'll be waking up any time soon, but if they do, I should have a frying pan in my bag at camp. I'm sure that'll do nicely."

"And what are you going to do Sakura? asked Hinata.

"I'm going to round up our final idiot."

……………………

Unlike Neji and Naruto, it took Sakura a while to find Kiba. By that time, she was in no mood for any more crap. Stupid drunk men. It was enough to make her wish Naruto was there in all his drunken and easily angered glory. He would make sure those perverts kept away from her. 'Okay Sakura, remember the anger management training: in, out, in, out- aha!' She had spotted Kiba.

Said Inuzuka was currently chatting it up with what appeared to be several equally drunk men. As soon as he saw her, he jumped up, a big goofy grin on his face, and pulled her to where his newly acquainted friends sat.

"This is the girl I was talking about," he said, is speech somewhat slurred. "This is Sakura-chan."

There was a chorus of "Oh, she's a nice catch!", "Good one!", "Yeah, total babe!", "I see what you meant!", and "Ooh, she's a real keeper!" from the men, as well as several grunts of approval and a couple of appreciative whistles. Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out…

"Yeah, she is, isn't she?" Kiba grinned, scratching the back of his head.

"Come on, Kiba-kun," she said through gritted teeth. "It's time to go."

"Alright, alright, if you say so," he grumbled. "See you guys!" He waved as Sakura pulled him towards the door. The men waved back before returning to their drinks.

……………………

Once outside the bar, Sakura looked Kiba up and down. This wasn't going to be easy. "You think you can walk back to camp?" she asked.

"Yup, I'm fine!" Kiba was grinning madly as he stepped forward…and nearly fell flat on his face. Only Sakura's quick reflexes kept him from kissing the ground. He tried again, much to the same effect. Sakura sighed. Gaa. This was going to take a while.

"Come here," she said.

"What?"

"I'm going to carry you." She bent down a little so he could climb on her back. "As you obviously won't make it anywhere without serious personal injury."

"Oh. Okay!" He had that mad grin on his face again. It almost made her suspicious…

Once they got going, it actually wasn't so bad. Kiba remained quiet for the most part, except for humming some tuneless little song (slightly off-key) in her ear. But it was okay; she could deal with that. After all, he was drunk to high-heaven.

"You wanna know something?" he asked abruptly.

"What?" Why not humor the poor guy? He was going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.

"You smell good." She heard some sniffing noises. "Like strawberries and cocoa." Then, he rested his head against the back of her neck, his arms wrapped loosely around her shoulders.

Sakura was slightly surprised at Kiba's comment, but again, he was drunk. Most likely he didn't even know what he was saying.

"Um, thanks Kiba-kun," she said. "That was very…nice of you. I think." Sakura felt Kiba shift on her back, and then a tugging on her hair. It was okay, she told herself again; she could deal with that, too. He was drunk. It probably made sense in his twisted, intoxicated mind. Just remember: in, out, in, out…

At least, this was what Sakura thought until she felt something hot, wet, and pointy connect with her neck. When that happened, she froze completely in shock. Then she heard chuckle drunkenly as he whispered in her ear.

"He was right, you do taste good."

No. Oh hell no. He was not tasting her! Why that- She dropped him.

Unfortunately, this did not have quite the desired effect. Rather, it put her in what was possibly a worse position than before. Now, instead of resting against her back with his arms draped around her neck, he was standing on the ground with his arms wrapped just under her chest. Damn, that didn't go as planned. Okay, time for Plan B. It went something like this: elbow, meet Kiba's gut. Gut, meet Sakura's elbow. Then, fist, meet Kiba's head. Head, meet blissful unconsciousness.

Plan B worked a bit better.

A/N: You know, I've gotten a lot of positive feedback for Cocoa. I'm so glad. However, I cannot honestly take all the credit. I probably wouldn't have even thought about it if Nut2 hadn't had incredible little Pinky in her Unfortunate Circumstances and Slightly More Fortunate Circumstances. So, if you want to see more awesome-amazing squirrel-ness and a wonderful story besides, go check it out. (No, I am not above shamelessly advertising. Obviously.)