Disclaimer: Yes we do own Harry Potter……hang on a second…..what are these men in white coats doing in front of my house? (in case you are very very stupid, this means we don't own it)

Mimmycing Malfoy

Lucius,

Meet me in The Hogs Head at the next Hogsmeade visit, which I believe is on Saturday the 13th of December. I have some interesting information regarding your son and a certain Gryffindor mudblood.

Yours sexily,

The Grand Sex Master of Hogwarts and beyond. (i.e. Ron)

Ron sent the owl flying away into the sky with an evil smile playing about his lips. He grinned, showing a few gaps in his teeth. He then limped out of the owlery, wincing because of the broken ribs that he'd been too embarrassed to go to Madam Pomfrey about. Luckily his injuries had not affected his performance elsewhere, although wild sex was out for the time being. He was greatly upset about this as it was his favourite pastime.

Hermione sat in History of Magic, her eyes slightly glazed over. It was just over 2 weeks since 'the incident' and she was still going over it in her mind, torturing herself with memories that she just couldn't forget. She had become bad tempered and irritable and she knew that she was taking her fear and depression out on friends (and lovers) which wasn't fair. Draco was still the only one who knew about it. She preferred it that way. She knew it wasn't her fault but she couldn't help thinking it was. Had she led him on? Given him the wrong impression? Had her waves of love meant for Draco gone off course and floated his way? Questions, questions, questions, but no answers, answers, answers.

Draco sat also in History of Magic gazing at Hermione. He knew she was still hurting after the attack and he wished he could help her, but she just wouldn't open up. He was started out of his thoughts by the voice of Ernie MacMillan, the resident retard.

"Gimme back ma paaapa claaaaaaaaaap" he stuttered.

Draco looked down and saw that subconsciously he had taken Ernies beloved paper clip (he wasn't allowed a pet due to his mental disabilities) and used it to clean out his perfectly manicured nails.

"What the fuck are you talking about you retard?" Draco drawled, for he had no patience for 'simple' people.

Ernie was getting angry now. His face had turned an ugly shade of red and his breathing was ragged.

"GIMME BACK MA PAAAAPA CLAAAAAAP! GIVE AAAAAAAAAAAT! GIIV AAAT BAAAACK!"

Draco smirked and looked down at the paper clip, that Ernie had so tenderly christened 'Mimmy'. It was red with googly eyes stuck on and a lock of is mum's hair fastened to the top. It reminded him of his mum, and when he was missing her he often tucked himself into bed and had a nice long chat with it. He liked to imagine it talked back. This greatly annoyed the other boys in his dormitories. The only reason the late lamented Justin Finch-Fletchley appeared to like him was because he was regularly bribed with promises of 'chocolaaate caaaaaaake'.

"You want it spastic? Too bad!" he said snapping it in two.

This proved too much for Ernie. Standing up he advanced towards Draco (Binns carried on talking unaware of the commotion) and began to elbow him repeatedly on his back. Although shocked at first, Draco soon began to laugh at the pathetic situation. They all thought they could take out Draco. They all tried. They all failed.

"Ernieshnooo!" cried Hannah Abbott, slurring because of her braces.

"You should have listened to your brace-faced friend," laughed Draco, and lightly pushed Ernie off.

Ernie, who was weak physically as well as mentally stumbled backwards and tripped over a chair with a crash. This spurred Draco on and he turned around to Hannah who was gasping like a fish out of water.

"What are you looking at Brasche fasche? Hey are you going to Hogschmede nesht schaturday?" he jeered jauntily. After months of being sweet and romantic to Hermione, he had forgotten how good it felt to be bad.

Hannah Abbott glared at him.

"Fusch off!" she snapped, sticking two fingers up at him.

Draco threw back his handsome head and laughed. This after everything else caught Binn's attention. He looked up and saw Ernie on the floor, the chair knocked over next to him, Hannah's bright red face, Draco laughing evilly and (if he'd had super vision) Mimmy snapped in half on the table.

"You better have a good explanation for this Mr. Malfoy," barked Binns. All the involved began talking at once.

"He took ma paaapa claaap! He broked Mimmmaaaayyy"

"He inschulted my brasches! That baschtard!"

"Sir that retard has obviously forgotten to take his medication today and he just came up and attacked me."

"Right that's enough. Mr. Mimmy"-Ernie gave a whimper-"er I mean Mr. Malfoy….I may be dead, but I'm not stupid. Get out of my sight and I will see you back here for a detention tonight. You will write a note of apology to Ernie."

Draco shrugged nonchalantly.

"Not my problem. He's the one with 'fusching' Hippogriff shite for a brain" and with one final smirk at Hannah acknowledging his final dig at her speech impediment he departed from the classroom. A huge whisper erupted from all the students after his exit. Draco's snide comments had been lying dormant for the past couple of weeks. There was only one explanation.

Draco's back.

The day of the Hogsmeade visit dawned bright and fresh. Ron whistled cheerily to himself. It was going to be a goooood day!

Draco got up and selected his sexiest outfit from his wardrobe. An Italian silk shirt open, with a white wifebeater underneath, pinstriped knee length shorts and black suede loafers. He left his hair loose, letting it fall round his eyes and tied a shell necklace him and his mother made one day when he was poorly. His piece de resistance was a splash of expensive cologne. He surveyed himself with pride in the mirror as he pulled on his military jacket. If he was a girl, he'd shag him.

Hermione opened her wardrobe and reached automatically for her red coat. Although she got some comments about this (her cousin Dick had sung 'Lady in Red' when she first bought it, and her friend Paris asked her if she minded wearing such tacky clothes) she loved it dearly. She put it on. Too bright. She just wanted to blend in. She pulled out her grubby grey fleece, and wore it with a pair of velour jogging bottoms and a baggy white t-shirt. She wore no make up and pulled her hair back into a tight bun. She didn't know it, but she still looked beautiful.

Harry, who had by now forgotten the incident in the Great Hall, (funny how boys are like that, isn't it!) was looking around for a sign of Cho. However, she was nowhere to be seen, and with a sad heart he trudged down to the Three Broomsticks. As he walked in, a beautiful sight met his eyes. Cho was sitting at the bar. Taken by surprise, he exclaimed a loud,

"Well, blooow me!"

Cho grabbed him by the tie and led him out the back.

"OK, with pleasure. First room on the left. 10 minutes," she said with a gleam in her eye.

"Phew," Harry said to himself. "I am SO lucky. HOW many kids in the world would PAYEE to be doing this!"

10 minutes later Harry was being straddled by Cho. He was impatient to hurry on to the promise she had given earlier, but wasn't sure whether she had been joking or not.

"Do…you….do…..anything……to do with…oral sex?"

"No," replied Cho.

Harry pushed back off her slightly and exhaled deeply in frustration. He was so looking forward to it. Then he noticed she was getting ready to talk again.

"But you can give me some,"

Harry's eyes widened in delight and he leant forward expectantly. His licked his lips nervously before moving in for the kill.

He was just feeling as though he was making some headway when he felt a pair of hands grasping his shoulders and found himself being dragged backwards.

"Cho!" he cried, reaching out a hand, "Chooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

he then fell back into a chair. It tipped precariously. He looked up at the person who had so rudely interrupted him and found him self looking up at a burly man.

"Who are you?" he demanded rudely, for manners were never his strong point.

"My names Sid" said the man, "and I was wondering what you are doing in my room…"

But his words went unheard. For there was one particular word that had affected Harry's meagre brain cells.

"Did you say Ced? Ced IM SICK OF CED!" growled Harry.

"I said Sid you gay arse now get out of my room!"

But Harry was crying too much to hear.

Before he fled the room he turned to a still stunned Cho.

"What about me Cho eh? What about meeeeee?"

Ron looked at his watch. It was about time he made his way to the Hogs Head. He threw his cloak over his back in a sinister fashion and moseyed on down to the pub…

Thanks to all our reviewers and sorry for all this posting and reposting lark. Sadly our repost has been deleted now but hopefully some of our dedicated fans from the Draco/Hermione camp have decided to carry on reading!

A special thanks to Christopher for bringing the paperclip to our attention.

Sorry if a lot of this doesn't make sense to everyone else, but we will we get on with the proper storylines in the next chapter.

Let us know how you like the new Draco! We think he's much better than the soppy gimp we had previously.

Also well done to A boy on his results, and thanks to Jack for his style tips!