Kelsi had been waiting by the front door for over a half hour, even though it was still a few minutes before Ryan was supposed to arrive. After a few hours on the piano, her mind had turned fully to that night. She still felt awful about what had happened with Jason, but she didn't allow herself to be preoccupied about that, at least not now. She had decided that she would talk to him about it later, but tonight was about her and Ryan, and nothing else. Never one who was overly worried about her appearance, she tried on a month's worth of outfits, and tried on countless more variations of other outfits until she managed to find the one that didn't make her completely hate everything about the way she looked. Her dad had assured her that she looked great, but he had said that about just about all of the other outfits as well.
After finally resigning herself to an outfit, she paced in front of the front door for some time, wondering why Ryan had not arrived, until she realized that he still wasn't due for quite a while. But by this time she had so much on her mind that she continued her frantic pacing. She couldn't figure out why she was so nervous. They had gone out on plenty of dates before. Perhaps it was simply stress about their anniversary, perhaps it was guilt about what had happened with Jason, maybe it was merely the fact that she had never truly gotten over all of her insecurities about herself.
Ryan was very nervous as he walked towards Kelsi's front door for their date that night. Normally, being with Kelsi made him feel relaxed, but he knew that tonight would be the opposite. Not only was it their one month anniversary, he had to tell her something that could change their relationship forever. Everything had to go perfectly.
After what seemed like the longest walk of his life, he knocked on the front door. Almost immediately, it was opened by Kelsi, who looked just as nervous as Ryan, though they both tried desperately to hide their apprehension. "You look really nice," Ryan said, breaking the initial silence. "Thanks," Kelsi said, "You too," she told him, her voice getting considerably quieter as she spoke the last two words. "Thanks."
After saying goodbye to Mr. Nielsen, they headed to Ryan's car, where the mood started to lighten at least slightly. "so, where are we going?" Kelsi asked. "I think that will have to be a surprise for just a little bit longer," Ryan told her coyly. "Can I at least guess?"
"You can try. There's no way that you'll get it though," Ryan told her as he drove out of her driveway. After guessing a few restaurants that they had been to before, Kelsi couldn't think of anywhere else. "Can't you just tell me what restaurant it is?"
"Who said anything about a restaurant?" Ryan asked her. "Well I'm guessing that we're going to eat…"
"Good guess."
"And, that's usually done in a place where food is served, such as, a restaurant."
"This is true," Ryan said, still not giving away any information. Noticing that they were headed out of town into the New Mexican wilderness, and up a winding dirt road that ascended a large hill, Kelsi's interest was heightened even more, but she decided to let their ultimate destination be a surprise and didn't press the issue. Finally, after what seemed like a very long climb up the hill, which seemed more like a small mountain now that they were at the top, Ryan stopped the car. "Where are we?" Kelsi asked, very curious about their location. "Get out and see," Ryan told her. As she opened the door and turned around, Kelsi was mystified. Not only could she see all of Albuquerque, which from such a distance and height, seemed to be majestically lit up, the sky was illuminated with more stars than Kelsi had ever seen. "Wow, this is incredible," she said. "Yeah, it's great up here," Ryan said, now holding a blanket, lantern, and picnic basket. They set up the blanket together, and Ryan began to serve them each helping of fettuccine alfredo that, with his sister's help, he had spent all day making. "How did you find out about this place?" Kelsi asked, as they began to eat. "My dad was looking to buy some land out here for something. I don't know what, probably trying to make his own miniature city or something. Well, he took me along to look at some places, and we came here. I knew you'd love it here," he told her, secretly praising the heavens that she had not complained about the fact that it was very windy, dark (even with the lantern) and colder than he had expected. The night was going perfectly.
Kelsi was enjoying herself just as much as Ryan was, and was both surprised and flattered to see how much Ryan had gone through to ensure that they had a good time. She was having much more than just 'a good time.' As the night went on, she slowly realized that this was the most magical, wonderful night of her life, with one of the most incredible people she had ever met. They talked about everything together: life, music, politics, religion, philosophy, everything. Then there were times when no words were needed, and they just leaned against each other and enjoyed the starlit night. But in the back of his mind, Ryan was still nervous. He knew that he had to tell Kelsi something that he was afraid to say, but he knew that it had to be said sometime that night. In order to put that moment off, he brought up a topic that they had not discussed either that night or ever: the future. "So, do you know what you want to do in college?" he asked Kelsi. She thought for a minute. It was a topic that she had avoided thinking about for as long as possible, but one that she felt she had always known the answer to in the back of her mind. I've always wanted to do something with music," she said, "I don't know what exactly, but I've never felt as good as when I'm sitting at the piano, playing something I love. What about you?"
"I'm not really sure. I mean, I really like music too. Bu I think I want to go into something a little more…practical."
"What do you mean 'practical'?" Kelsi asked, not trying to sound overly defensive, though she knew that she had sounded that way immediately after the words left her mouth, and she hoped that Ryan wouldn't take them the wrong way. "Well, you know," he responded, slightly taken back by the swiftness with which she responded, "It's just that...it isn't really easy to make a living as a musician. I mean, I'd like to have some stability in my life," as Ryan finished the sentence, his voice also became more defensive, though he did not mean to sound that way, and he regretted sounding that way immediately after he spoke. "So you'd rather do something you hate as long as you get to keep your nice outfits?" she asked him, knowing that he hadn't said anything of that nature, but she couldn't stop herself, as she felt that he had been attacking her dreams. "You know that isn't what I meant Kelsi," Ryan said, his anger beginning to match Kelsi's, but before going on, he stopped himself, "Look, can we just…talk about something different?" he asked, knowing that if this conversation kept going, his plan would be completely derailed. "Well, I don't think you can just say that I'm impractical and then try to wave it off that easily," Kelsi said, sounding both hurt and even slightly spiteful. "You know I didn't say that," Ryan said, his voice getting louder in desperation.
"Well what did you say then?"
"I just meant that a career in music might not be the smartest thing. I mean, for me. Maybe it is good for you, that's up to you," he said, desperately trying to appeal to Kelsi, even though he wasn't sure exactly why she was overreacting so much. "Fine," Kelsi said, more because she didn't want to argue than because she understood what Ryan was saying. They went back to better topics, but it wasn't the same for the rest of the night. They tried to pretend that a rift had not developed between them, but they both secretly knew that it had.
Ryan knew that his plan was dead, at least for that night. After their first real fight there was no way that he could tell her that he loved her.
Just as things start to look okay everything falls apart! Well, if it helps, I've pretty much decided that this will end as Ryelsi (like 93 certain), also, I'm almost done writing and when I do finish I'll probably be updating very quickly. Please give any thoughts/compliments/questions/criticisms/whatever that you may have.