Author's note: Please read Chapter 20 of The Clier Path before reading this! Warning, this contains strong language, and may contain content that can be perceived as sexual innuendo.
Edward held the plastic card in hand, and clicked the mouse with the other. The card itself was a green affair with white dots, slowly getting bigger as they radiated from their left, translucent icon, in its centre a six inch subway, or so the phrase went. His eyes went back to the monitor screen, and he clicked on the blue e icon. Turning the card over in his hand, he squinted his eyes through the small text.
"Hey Ed." A deep voice called, and he turned around to find Roy coming up behind him. He couldn't help but grin, "What you got there?" Roy asked.
"Oh, right," he quickly looked down at the card, before grinning back up at him, "my subcard."
"…subcard…?" Roy looked at him puzzled, before taking a seat in a wheelie chair beside him. "What is it?"
"It's a card that you apparently scan when you buy sandwiches from subway." He started to explain, "Apparently it puts points on your card for later use."
"What exactly would you need the points for?" Roy asked.
"Well, if you collect enough points, you can get free stuff on your next purchase, like a six inch sub, a foot long sub, or a drink!" he turned back to the monitor, and started typing the address in the top row.
"And where did you get this?" Roy asked, a little confused.
"I sort of picked it up on our last mission. I wanted to grab a bite to eat, and they offered me a card after I bought a sub from them." He smiled, pleased with his own discovery, "It was a little difficult at first, I mean they were asking me all these stupid questions like, 'do you want ham, do you want cheese, would you like it toasted' but it was worth it in the end." He grinned, his eyes went half-mast.
"Wait, in the Matrix? Then how did you get it out-!"
"That's not important!" Edward scowled impatiently, "what's important is that I can get free foot longs!" he grinned. "Now, where is it…" he muttered.
"Isn't that it?" Roy pointed to the green box, inside was a picture of the card, a cell phone, and the words, Register or log in.
"Yes!" Edward cried, and he clicked on the box in his excitement. "Another page opened up!" at the top, bold letters stood out, SUBCARD, IT'S A NO BRAINER.
"This should be easy for you then." Roy chuckled.
"Exactly, free foot longs, here I come!" he grinned, but his smile faded, "'Enter your card number and password'…? Where do I get those…?" in his growing disappointment, Roy took the card from Edward's hand and pointed to the numbers at the bottom.
"Edward? Might this be a clue?" he smirked.
Edward turned quickly to read them, and then to read the diagram on the page. He scowled straight at him then, "yeah yeah, just read the numbers out for me while I type them in, ok?"
"Fine," Roy sighed, "6338," he started, and Edward typed madly, "4501, 1491, 7484. Did you get all that?" he asked finally.
"Yep!" Edward chirped, "Now what's the password?"
"3870."
"And submit!" he clicked the button, but was deadpanned again as the page turned green. "What? Close? Why does it want me to close, am I already done?" his face seemed to pale in the light.
"Edward," Roy groaned, "read the top bit first." He pointed to the text above the button; please register your card now by filling in the following form.
"So, what? I press close?" Edward stared up at him.
"Well it looks that way." Roy frowned.
"Fine, but if this goes wrong, you're dead!"
"Fine by me." Roy sighed.
Edward pressed the button, and the screen suddenly turned white, a green circle swirled in the corner, "oh come on." Edward groaned, "Why does it always take long to load anything?"
"Geez, just be patient, ok? It should work soon." Roy eased.
The page then became a bordered yellow and blank boxes appeared, again the bold words were above, SUBCARD. IT'S A NO BRAINER.
"It must've seen you coming." Roy chuckled again.
"Shut it." Edward scowled, "at least now I can register." His eyes scanned along the page, before grinning, "Look, apparently I'm cardholder 6338450114917484. Finally an internet page that knows how to show some respect!" he folded his arms, satisfied.
"If it knew how to show you any respect, it would've referred to you by name, not by number." Roy frowned.
"Well… it doesn't know me yet!" Edward growled defiantly.
Another pair of footsteps arrived, and Neo came and stood behind them.
'What's Ed doing?' Neo smiled down at Roy.
"He's trying to register this card thing," Roy scowled, "thinks he can find pleasure in a mountain of free foot longs, or something like that."
Neo snorted a laugh, 'don't tell me you got a card from Ann Summers.'
"Ann who?" Edward frowned.
Neo and Roy stared at each other blankly, before glaring back at Roy, 'it's not important.' He coughed.
"You need to register you details," Roy pointed to the monitor, changing the subject.
"Ok, title…" Edward pressed on an arrow, "obviously Mr," he snorted.
'You kept that quiet.' Neo smirked.
"Shut it." He growled. "Ok, first name… Edward. Last name… Elric." He smiled as he typed in the information, but it faded. "What do I do for the address?" he asked, looking up at Neo.
'Well,' he thought for a moment, 'I would just put Nebuchadnezzar on the first line, Zion for city, USA for the country…'
"And the zip code?" Edward asked, his fingers hovering over the keys.
'…10261, I think.' Neo frowned a little.
"Well whatever, the bluepills will understand." Edward sighed as he typed it in. "Erm… I think I'll miss out mobile phone and e-mail."
"Might as well." Roy nodded, "it's not like you have one."
"Ok, Gender… Male, again obvious."
'Again, really?' Neo smirked.
"Look, if you're going to keep commenting, then you can fuck off." Edward scowled.
'Geez, sorry.' Neo backed off a little.
"That's better. Now, date of birth…" he tongue stuck out in concentration, he pressed on the number and month with each arrow he pressed. "And now for the year!" he grinned. He pressed the arrow, and his mouth immediately gaped, "oh hell no!"
Roy's lips twisted into a smirk, and Neo couldn't help but let out a laugh.
"It's not funny!" he screamed.
"Of course it isn't," Roy cooed, "but it's still funny."
"What's up with this thing?" Edward growled, glaring round at Neo.
'Just about everyone who will get a card will have been born in the 20th century!' Neo laughed, 'all the 19th century people will be dead!'
"That's still no excuse for them to miss out 1899!" Edward growled.
'Think about it. You're the One of the Beta-Matrix, right?'
"Duh, well done." Edward scowled.
'Well, the Matrix was constructed a hundred years ago, in 1899, as was probably yours, and since you were born in that year, you seemed to have been recognized as the One. So, I guess the trade-off for being so important, is that you've got to miss out on free subways.' Neo shrugged.
"So, hold on a second." Edward frowned, "I have to trade in free foot longs for being the saviour of all humanity instead? What a cheap deal! Fuck this; I'd rather take the foot longs!"
'I'm sorry, Ed. But it can either be one or the other, and your lot is humanity.' Neo sighed, smiling.
"Then how come you can get free foot longs as well, huh?"
'Some of us are just born lucky.' Neo grinned.
"I'm gonna born you a foot up your ass in a second!" he screamed and jumped from his seat, only to be pulled back by Roy. "Let go of me!"
"Calm down!" he grabbed a hold of Edward's chin, and brought him round to face him, "Look, on our next mission, I'll buy you a foot long from subway, how does that sound?"
Edward stared at him, wide-eyed, his cheeks blushed up and he relented from his path of destruction, "I guess, I mean, if you really want to…"
"Sure," Roy smiled, "It's not like I can get a subcard either, and you don't need a subcard to get something to eat. Sure it might cost you more, but is it really worth it?" Edward stared into his eyes then, before letting a soft smile grace his lips.
"Thanks Roy."
-/\*_;)(-
As he clicked submit, Alphonse held his card in hand with a malevolent grin on his face.
"That'll teach Brother to steal all of my screen time!"
Author's note: I came up with this one when I was registering my own subcard, when I saw that someone's birth year could only be registered as far as 1900, I thought it would be funny to take the mick out of Edward based on it. I can imagine him getting upset over it. Now, this last bit at the end is here because it ties into the omake in Chapter 9. This chapter and the previous one were originally featured together at the end of Chapter 20, so I decided it would be better to split them up then have them together. It made more sense that way, and with 10 being such a round and even number, it worked out better this way.
The sad thing about this is that, if I ever wanted to register a subcard in Edward's name, then I'd be buggered if I wanted to do it accurate, not that I would. If I wanted to do it legitimately, then I'd have to register his date of birth as 1999, or something like that.
This omake isn't exactly accurate in pertaining to the Matrix concept, for one thing, I doubt Edward would be able to get a piece of card out of the Matrix and into his hand in the Real world. That's why Mouse had to read the paper from the registry book in the Construct. I sort of guessed at what to do when it came to the address, but I did look up the zip code for New York (a lot of the adventures seem to be based there when they jack in, at least in the films anyway). Given that I'm from the UK, I don't know how American Zip codes work; I guess they work in the same way post codes do in the UK, except that Zip codes pertain to the city itself, while post codes are more accurate and pertain to a road, I think anyway; again, I'm guessing here.
I don't know Edward's birthday though; like everyone else who's read the manga, I do know it's in the winter months, but since this is coming from a Hokkaido-born author, winter lasts for 6 months of the year, so it could be anytime. I always imagine it's in January/February time, and some have dubbed the birthday as February 3rd, for whatever reason. I know though that The Clier Path so far is in the summer months hence, whenever Edward's age is mentioned, he's 16; his birthday has already been and gone, even before Chapter 1.
I'll apologize now though for being rubbish at depicting 1999; I was only 5 at the time, so as far as technological advancements then were concerned, I don't have a clue. Sorry if this irks some of you, but I'm trying my best here, and I'm sure you enjoy the story and these omakes anyway.
I hope you enjoyed this!
Ophelia Davis