"There's no point in rushing, Pond.' The Doctor sighed, as he carefully extricated her from the mash of bodies in the doorway. 'I'm afraid that we shall have to try a different approach to our search."
Amy was far too busy exchanging embarrassed apologies to ask what he meant.
It had been a bit of a surprise to find herself wedged inside a group of slender, frond-like, plant-people! It had become particularly uncomfortable when the rest of the party outside had bumped into this unexpected obstacle, and the Doctor walked into her back. Thankfully that was sorted out very quickly, but as she was pulled from their path, the plants all began talking at the same time as she did.
"Most rooted apologies, friendly fleshy… Ouchies!"
"Not to use that word! Not politeness!"
"We wilt with embarrassment at this unfortunateness, fellow visitor! Accepting our contrition, please?
"No!' Amy had protested, sure that she was to blame for the confusion. 'No, you have nothing to apologise for!' She tried again. 'It was entirely my fault. I… Er… Wasn't looking where I was going…" (She could just imagine the Doctor clapping his hand to his forehead beside her – or maybe she saw it out of the corner of her eye…)
Amy stepped aside to allow the small forest to pass, but before she could politely invite them inside, a vexed little voice demanded from the undergrowth.
"Woss 'app'nin'? Can't see nuffink!"
There was a moment of giddy stillness, where-in the plant people appeared to be wavering in a non-existent breeze. Then a smaller frond pushed forward, holding out a miniature 'bonsai' version to one of the adults. Amy couldn't see the parent's eyes (if it even had any,) but felt an understanding that transcended species as it cradled the youngster. "Hush now, podling… Patience, little one. We have just met a new friend, and the grown-ups are talking."
"Not fair!' Protested the child, but then it must have suddenly noticed Amy somehow. 'Ooh! Pretty colour!' It squealed, reaching a tendril towards her hair. Amy felt an irresistible grin split her face, and tickled the end of the appendage with a cautious finger, then guiltily looked toward the parent for belated permission. She wasn't sure how she knew, but Amy was convinced that she had just met with the plant-creatures approval. They all rattled and sighed like an autumn woodland, and each bent towards her as they filed into the showroom.
"Sorrowing still, for our embarrassing haste.' Said the last one through. 'But happiness flows at this meeting. May starlight always feed you, and may you never find yourself far from water. We part in friendship."
Feeling almost close to tears for some unaccountable reason, Amy actually jumped when the Doctor tapped her on the shoulder. She had totally forgotten he was there! "You're really rather good at coping with all these different species, Pond. I'm most impressed!" He murmured encouragingly and, Amy could tell from the respect in his eyes, honestly. This was a most unexpected, yet immeasurably welcome compliment! So Amy – as usual – tried to downplay it.
"It's not all that difficult, Doctor.' She responded casually, 'I just try to remember that they are just the same as I am really, where it matters – no matter how different they look."
The Doctor regarded her intently for a long moment, then cupped her face gently, compassion in his eyes. "You really have no idea how special that makes you, do you?'
Amy actually had 'no idea' how to respond to this statement, so it was something of a relief when he broke the moment. 'Now then, I suggest that we exit the salesroom before Slog – Oh! He appears to have left! – Well, anyway, we need to find somewhere to think. I must consider what we have discovered here, and come up with a new… Something or other."
As they departed the showroom, Amy cast a glance back, but could no longer see the plant-people. She felt oddly disappointed, but shook it off to ask, "Aren't we just going to go into the next shop along – look for our blobby friends?"
"No. No, I don't think that would do any good.' Before she could ask him why, the Doctor scooted her over to the central fountain again, skillfully wending through the hordes of exotic shoppers. 'Let's just sit here for a moment, out of everyone's way.' He said, as he patted the edge of the parapet and sat down, inviting her to join him. 'I don't think that just charging in there would achieve very much. You know how long it took us to spot them in the first place. Also, as they aren't actually here now, it's not like we have to follow them in real time, is it?"
Deciding to let that one pass, Amy asked (with forced cheekiness,) "So what's the plan, Batman?' as she perched beside him – a little surprised that they appeared to be abandoning the chase. The Doctor ignored her for a moment, retrieving his sonic screwdriver from his jacket. 'Hey!' She yelped in alarm, 'You're not going to start singing again, are you?"
"Relax, Pond,' he replied, although he didn't actually appear to be paying the slightest attention to her. 'I'm just going to reset the Sonic, in light of new information. Or supposition. Or guesswork. Whatever."
His fingers flickered and raced across the complicated device so fast that Amy only saw a blur. "But what…' (Cough.) 'But what can you do with your sonic screwdriver? …To help us find the Blobby's, I mean." Amy was thankful that the Doctor was so intent on manipulating his gadget's settings. (She could feel herself blushing, but wasn't entirely sure why.)
"Think about it, Pond.' He replied, squinting intently at the Sonic, until his face suddenly lit with a triumphant grin. 'Yes!' He exclaimed ecstatically. 'Totally deleted that bad boy! Won't be doing that again anytime soon!' Then his face scrunched up in confusion, and he shot an accusing look in Amy's direction. "What was I trying to do again?" He asked myopically.
Amy squirmed on the parapet next to him, slightly concerned that he might be cracking up again. "Invisible blobs?" She asked hopefully, as that seemed like the most relevant subject to her at the moment.
"Ah, yes!' The Doctor exclaimed, attacking the Sonic once more with gusto, 'That's what I told you! You really should pay more attention!' (Amy, unsure who he was actually talking to, resisted the urge to push him into the pool behind them.) 'Now that we have a slightly better idea of what we are dealing with…"
"We do?" Amy interrupted, once again getting the distinct impression that she had skipped a page or two. (Or that the Doctor was reading from a different book entirely.)
"Yes, Pond, we do. Or, at least, I do. Please stop interrupting me!" He grumped, then totally ignored her as her concentrated on his screwdriver.
Amy took the opportunity to glance around, idly noting the variety of happy – or, at least occupied – people sauntering past: as she slowly counted down from ten. For the first time Amy noticed quite a few beings wearing protective gear – space suits, practically – and almost automatically started to ask the Doctor why anyone would need a spacesuit indoors. However, after a moment's consideration, she realised that she could work out the answer herself. Obviously, not all life-forms could breathe the same air that she was used to. Actually, she mused, it was quite astonishing just how many different beings could! (The Doctor would probably say something boring about the oxygen/nitrogen mix, which Amy was evolved for, being the most common atmosphere to support life. But she still thought it was pretty cool.)
That reminded her of the water-chutes that she had noticed earlier. Okay, so they would be dead easy to come down… but how would you get up them? And how would an aquatic species get around the shopping centre anyway? Spotting one further along the arcade, Amy traced its path until she located some occupant's. (It was almost like a water chute at an amusement park, winding about all over the place!) A group of dolphin-like people were zooming around gleefully. When they emerged at the bottom – into some kind of reception pool – Amy noticed that they had manipulative digits on the ends of their flippers. Although she couldn't make out exactly what they were doing, the pod soon rose into the air, a thin shimmering coating of water clinging to their flanks. It was almost a surprise when they blew a thin spray out of the top of their heads, but a horde of cleaner-bots leapt into action, as if they had been waiting for it!
Amy felt quite chuffed with herself, having proved that she could still work out stuff on her own – if she just took the time to actually think about a question before asking it. The problem with being with the Doctor was… Well, it was just too easy to expect him to do all the thinking. Feeling much calmer now, she nudged the furiously concentrating Time Lord. "Okay, Doctor, I think I've given you long enough. It's time you let me in on the secret, if you know what's good for you…"
"Hmm?" He hmm'ed, distractedly.
"Well,' she announced with determination. 'As I recall, you keep saying that you are going to explain later.
'Now is later.
'So… Explain!"
He glanced towards her cautiously, puffing away that perpetually intrusive forelock again, and asked, "do I really have to?' (He sounded like a little boy trying to avoid extra tuition!) 'I hate explaining, Pond! Whenever I explain something, nobody understands. Then I have to explain the explanation, and nobody is any the wiser…
'Least of all me!"
"Oh no, Doctor!' Amy asserted herself emphatically, placing a hand over his own on the Sonic. 'You're not wriggling out of it that easily! I can put some of my questions on hold, if I must: but I'm not going to just follow you blindly anymore. Spill!"
The Doctor sighed, looking down at the device in his hand, then suddenly began nodding to himself. "Actually, Pond, maybe that's not such a bad idea!' Wagging the screwdriver at her authoritatively, he lifted his legs up suddenly and span around on his rump. He ended up sitting cross-legged on the parapet, facing Amy as he pocketed the screwdriver absently. 'I could use some time to think things through myself, to be honest. Perhaps if I just run through the possibilities… Or rather, my initial speculations, you can help me look at them for flaws or alternatives."
Amy, feeling a little jumpy after the Doctor's unexpected athletics display, took her time to (slowly) arrange her own legs, until she was facing him on the parapet. "Yes, Doctor.' She agreed, once she had mirrored his posture, 'I suppose we could do that. But if we aren't in any particular hurry any more, then there's something else that I want to know first."
"Oh.' The Time Lord replied unenthusiastically, but then rallied with a clap of his hands. "Ah! If it's about that business of talking quietly, well, that's really quite simple...'
"No, Doctor, it's not that.' Amy stopped him in mid-flow, 'It was something that Slog said… The first one…"
This time it was the Doctor's turn to interrupt, although Amy suspected that he was just attempting to divert her. "Oh, I see! All that business about being in the wrong spiral arm of the Galaxy! Yes, I found that rather puzzling myself! Of course, we don't exactly have much information to go on here, but…"
Amy leaned forward to pat one of his knees gently, making sure to keep eye contact so that he wouldn't look away. "No, Doctor. You know exactly what I'm asking about.
'What was all that business about Slog's people being helped by 'The Doctor' long ago? Why was the Doctor he spoke of a woman? Is Slog's past your future?"
Rubbing a hand over his jutting chin as if checking for stubble, the Doctor murmured sadly, "I don't really see how it can be…""
Amy protested. "But you said that you recognised the name of the Sontaran he mentioned… what was it? Styx?"
"Strax.' The Doctor replied quietly. "Yes. That name does ring a bell. Which is very curious…' He took hold of one of Amy's hands in both of his, shaking it for emphasis. 'I'm pretty sure that Strax is dead – and I'm positive that I wasn't female when I knew him – I would have noticed! It's all very vague, but it's not that vague! An important thing to note, as well, Pond. Slog only said that The Doctor was a female – he didn't say what species… He didn't necessarily mean an Earth Human, which is what I assume that you mean when you say woman. But if I remember him, then obviously it isn't my own personal future, is it?"
Amy pondered over this for a couple of heartbeats, then removed her hand so that she could clap both of hers around his. "Okay, so maybe it's a different Strax! Maybe the next time you regenerate you become a female porcupine: meet this Sontaran bloke, and rescue all the Slog's! Isn't that a possibility?"
"No, Amelia. I'm afraid it isn't." There was a finality to the Doctor's hushed reply that sent a chill down Amy's spine. However, his tone lightened as he continued, a hint of self-deprecating humour twinkling in his eyes. "I'm afraid that I didn't make a very good job of explaining regeneration to you, Pond. Perhaps I should have another go..?' He trailed off, his eyes asking for permission.
Unable to speak past the heavy sensation that had just arrived in her chest, Amy simply nodded, hoping that the Time Lord wouldn't notice her sudden nervousness.
Naturally, he did.
'Don't worry, Pond! It's not something that you need to worry about right now… Promise!' The Doctor gave her a reassuring grin, then admitted more quietly, 'Didn't mean to scare you. Sorry.'
Then he clapped his hands together briskly, announcing, 'So! A potted summary of Time Lord Regeneration!
'Well, in my first life – when I was the original me, if you like – I was quickened in the loom… Er, I was born on a planet called Gallifrey. Like almost every other life-form ever known, I grew from childhood through to adulthood. I lived a 'normal' life. At least in terms of the aging process, anyway. It was only when my original body became so old and tired that I no longer wished to continue, that I allowed myself to regenerate for the first time.
'I think that's the only time I've ever died of old age…'
As he spoke, the Doctor allowed his attention to drift towards the tree thrusting up from the center of its pool; sprays of water cascading down its limbs and trunks. Amy couldn't take her eyes of his face, which had become alight with curiosity and interest, as he continued talking absently.
'You see, that is what life held for most Time Lords when I was growing up. A long life of doing little more than staying alive, to be followed by more lives doing pretty much the same. At least, that's how it seemed to me to me when I was young – that's why I had to leave. However, I don't want to give you the impression that this is actual immortality, even Time Lords have a limit to how many times they can regenerate. The actual limit chosen was twelve regenerations, although I couldn't really tell you why. In my more cynical moments, I suspect that the Time Lords never thought anyone would ever need more than thirteen lives!'
At this point the Doctor actually barked out a laugh, and flashed his teeth at Amy in a madman's grin. 'They were certainly surprised at just how fast I raced through my own! In comparison to themselves, that is! I actually met a few, up to my fifth regeneration at least, that I had grown up with – who were still on their first body!"
Encouraged by this display of humour, Amy asked, quite innocently. "So how many regenerations have you been through? How many have you got left?" (I don't believe I'm having this conversation. She reflected numbly.)
The Doctor's face fell slightly, and he glanced back towards the central tree before replying. "Well, that's actually more or less why I originally wanted to raise the subject in the first place… Although I had hoped to find a better way to do it, at a time of my own choosing. To make a very long story very, very short, I'm on my twelfth regeneration – my thirteenth life. I sort of lost count for a while, because one of me did something so terrible that I eventually chose to deny his existence. He was not the Doctor… therefore, I couldn't have done it."
He slowly turned back to face Amy, studying her face carefully to gauge her reaction. The only thing that she could think to say was. "So, when you die in this body – you'll really be dead? I mean – you'll stay dead?"
The Doctor actually smiled ironically at this, then shrugged. "Well, that's not such a big deal now, is it? I mean, the vast majority of lifeforms tend to stay dead when they die, Pond! That's the natural order of things in the wider universe, the old making way for the new! Anyway, how does it make any difference? Before I told you about Regeneration, were you expecting me to live forever?"
"Of course not!' Amy snarled, suddenly angry. 'So why did you have to tell me in the first place? Just so you could give me hope for the future, then snatch it away and say 'I didn't really mean it!' She was, ridiculously enough, almost on the verge of tears! 'I never realised that you could be so cruel, Doctor!"
The Time Lord placed his hands on her shoulders, but Amy shook them off, scooting back away from him. He accepted this sadly, holding his hands up in surrender. "Yes.' he muttered softly, almost to himself, 'I suppose that it does sound that way, coming like this. I had wanted to find a better time…' The Doctor leant towards her, folding his arms into his crossed legs. 'It was actually my wish to protect you, believe it or not! If you are to travel with me for a long time – and I really hope that you are – there is no telling what we may encounter along the way. I didn't want you to find out about regeneration from some other source. I didn't want you to think that I am some kind of magical being that can never die. Those are the kind of stories – legends – that you might hear about me.
'I just wanted you to know…"
"Wait a minute!' Amy demanded suddenly. She had only been half listening to the Doctor, replaying something that he had said earlier in her mind. 'Did you say that this twelve regeneration limit was chosen? That somebody actually decided to limit how many regenerations a Time Lord could have?"
"Er… Yes."
"So doesn't that mean that this limitation is a deliberate thing, that the process could continue indefinitely otherwise?"
The Doctor seemed to debate with himself for a moment, then released a heartfelt sigh. "I always knew you were a clever girl, Amy. A special girl.' He rolled his shoulders and twisted his head about, unpleasant crackling sounds emanating from his neck, then admitted. 'Yes, Pond, and the Time Lords had the technology to do something about that, if the cause was considered sufficient.' He studied her for a moment, as if wondering whether to continue. Amy raised her most inquisitive eyebrow as she tilted her head in his direction, so he relented.
'A long time ago, relatively speaking, five of me were taken out of our own timeframes… kidnapped, abducted, whatever.
'Four of us found ourselves trapped in The Death Zone, on Gallifrey…"
"That doesn't sound very pleasant!" Amy commented, rearranging her legs so that she could rest her chin on her knees, hugging her shins for comfort.
"Oh, it wasn't, believe me! Anyway…"
"Wait a minute…" Amy couldn't help interrupting, even though she wanted to hear this story. 'You said that four of you were there – what happened to the other one?"
"I'm not entirely sure, it's all a bit of a blur really… I was always getting lost when I was him… Although I would never have admitted it, of course.
'But the point is, the High Council decided to enlist the aid of my oldest adversary – to help, if you can believe that! Naturally, he had his own agenda – never intended to fulfil his side of the bargain at all.'
The Doctor looked desperately sad for a moment, then shook himself out of it, simply commenting, 'Shame, really. You see, he was on his last regeneration by then.
'Beyond it, actually. He had stolen someone else's body. The High Council offered to grant him an entirely new regeneration cycle, if he would help."
He fell quiet for long moments, until Amy tried to get him going again. "Sounds like a good deal to me!' She exclaimed. 'He must have been pretty stupid to turn it down."
"Oh, he didn't turn it down. He just thought that he could outwit everybody else, and still get prize.' The Doctor shrugged. 'He wasn't stupid at all… Just far too clever for his own good."
New hope filled Amy now, and she enthusiastically suggested. "But doesn't that mean that this… This High Council could give you a new regeneration cycle?"
"Not really.' The Doctor whispered grimly. 'You see… Gallifrey is gone. The High Council is gone. The Time Lords are gone…
'I killed them all."