Thank you for your awesome reviews! I love them more than a fat kid loves cake. Or a vampire loves a tasty human. Seriously. "Hello!" to the new people who are reviewing, and *MWAH!* to my regulars…you all rock!

I'm going to try…try…to update early in the week from now on, but that could change.

My beta, Steph, is a Life Saver. The butter rum kind that are so hard to find, but oh, so good.

Neither Twilight nor Edward are mine, but Theda is, and I'm keeping her.

Chapter 10: The Speedwell

JASPER POV

"They let you go? Just like that?" I hesitantly asked Theda. For the first time since we had met her, I was a little wary.

Her emotions had been a roller coaster of self-loathing, guilt, anger, and something else that was too faint to identify. The guilt intensified a little as she answered me. I couldn't necessarily tell when someone was lying, not that she was, but I surmised that she wasn't being entirely truthful. I glanced at Edward to see if he was getting anything from her, but from his expression he looked like someone had kicked him in the crotch.

"Um hmm," Theda hummed and nodded, examining the fabric of her jeans and not meeting my eyes.

"I didn't have a role in the creation of the newborns, so they didn't feel the need to destroy me. 'A waste', they called it. Not that I'm complaining!" She laughed a little, showing her perfect white teeth, and I felt a little bit of genuine gratefulness come from her.

I looked at Edward out of the corner of my eye, studying him to see if his expression had eased at all. When Theda discussed particularly emotional parts of her tale I was inundated with her feelings. Strangely enough, I often felt the same emotions coming from Edward. Always after these parts of her story I would get strong currents of sympathy from him, and when Esme had comforted Theda earlier, the jealousy coming off Edward rivaled Rosalie's on a bad day. Alice was right; Edward was a lot more entertaining since Theda came along. I would have to talk this over with him later, compare notes. Maybe he was finally able to read Theda's thoughts.

"What happened after that?" Carlisle inquired. All curiosity, that one. I was almost worried Theda would end up in a Petri dish by the end of the weekend, but I knew he meant well. I had always admired Carlisle's natural thirst to learn.

"After the Volturi visited, I left that part of the continent behind. I still haven't been back to Geneva, although I have been back to Europe a couple of times since I left." She bit her lip. "I decided right after that there had to be another way to survive without feeding on humans. I always felt terrible hunting humans anyway -- guilty and sick. If I hadn't been so desperate to feed that evening, I wouldn't have been anywhere close to the city, and I could have hopefully avoided what had happened. I didn't want to encounter the Volturi again."

"I experimented. Other living creatures had blood, so I started hunting animals. They were as nourishing as humans, even if they weren't as appetizing. I tried everything I could get my hands on-- cattle, horses, sheep, deer, even chickens, which were horrible. They were way too tiny, and only left me with a mouthful of feathers!" Theda laughed a little as she ticked the list off on her fingers. I could feel that she was a little embarrassed, but proud as well.

"Farm animals were the easiest to come across and their deaths could be blamed on animal attacks. None tasted as good as humans but they didn't leave me feeling as guilty, as much of a monster."

Theda turned to Carlisle. "I'm sure that's a big part of why you all feed the same way." He nodded. I had to agree, too. Although I loved the way humans tasted and vastly preferred them to animals, the fear and anger I felt from my natural prey made it agonizing for me.

"I grew a conscience, I guess," Theda admitted. "After being on my new diet for a few months, I soon noticed a huge physical difference. My eyes weren't that frightening blood red color anymore, but a lovely shade of golden brown. It instantly made me feel more human, so I decided that I would try to assimilate myself into human society.

"Little by little, I moved toward some of the larger cities. I settled near Strasburg in some of the small Germanic states. I needed to test myself; I had to get used to being near humans in close proximity on a constant basis. At that point, I still didn't trust myself to behave completely with them," she explained.

"It took time, but after some years, I had enough control where I could walk through the streets without any worry. The thirst was always there, but I had learned to ignore it, to have some measure of control over it." She stopped, her expression thoughtful but her emotions apprehensive.

"I was able to assimilate, perhaps too well. I could come and go as I pleased, but I also realized that I had no belongings, nothing to call my own and nowhere to live." Theda closed her eyes and took a calming breath, for which I was grateful. She absently tugged at the hem of her shirt, pulling it down in the back. The guilt flowing off of her was nearly overpowering, and I struggled to absorb the emotion without redirecting it back out toward the room.

"I began to steal. I was by myself, and with my acute hearing and sight I was able to take what I needed from the homes of the wealthy without being detected, the perfect cat burglar. They treated their servants horribly and were oppressive to the people who worked their land. Having been in their position I saw it differently, but it was nothing more than robbery."

"Please understand," Theda pleaded, "I never saw myself as any kind of Robin Hood figure. I didn't give to anyone but myself. I'm not proud of what I did. But it allowed me access to some services that I needed to fit in. Forgery, for instance."

Ah. I understood exactly what she meant by that. A vampire who never aged and whose appearance didn't change couldn't pass as the same person or afford to stay in one location for too long.

"I found someone who was able to forge documents granting me nobility. Fairly low in the hierarchy but not the bottom dregs of society, and the title he gave me was common enough so that I wouldn't attract attention. And thanks to my apparent kleptomania, I dressed and looked the part," Theda added dryly.

"I had pretty clothing and soon enough I had either taken enough money or stolen enough goods and sold them so that I could buy land. I purchased a thickly forested plot in my 'father's' name so as not to raise suspicion, and had a small cabin constructed there. It was perfect; I was far out enough to be able to hunt, but close enough to the city to do as I pleased." Theda sighed, contentedly remembering that calm time of her vampire life. I began to relax a little.

"Honestly, no one knew I was there. Hunters rarely came around, and I kept a very low profile. It was very peaceful. I was able to stay in that small home for nearly one hundred years."

"Some time in the mid fifteen-hundreds, I was hunting one evening and came upon another vampire. His name was William, and I could tell he didn't share my lifestyle; his eyes were red. He had been hunting in some of the other Germanic cities and made his way west. He was shocked when I told him how I survived on animal blood, and he tried to convince me that the only true way, what we were made to do, was to feed on humans. I didn't agree, obviously, but we became friends."

A surge of jealousy caught my attention. Edward again. That boy didn't even know her, yet he was already acting like a jealous boyfriend. But just as quickly as the jealousy arose, it was replaced by a wave of self-loathing and unworthiness, also from Edward. I caught his eye.

Edward, what's gotten into you? I shook my head minutely. He winced. We would definitely have to talk later. I turned my attention back to Theda.

"William was from England originally, and he had heard talk of land being settled across the ocean. The "New World" they were calling it." Theda made 'air quotes' when she said this and grinned sheepishly.

"It sounds silly now, but at the time it was big news, very exciting. William and I often talked about our pasts and what we remembered of our human experiences. We would hunt together sometimes…usually near farming communities. I would raid a barn while he fed on the workers; it wasn't ideal but I couldn't stomach the idea of drinking human blood again. I never saw it as more than a friendship, but I enjoyed his company. You get lonely when you've been by yourself for so long."

Theda projected an air of sadness when she said this. When it came to emotional climate, she and Edward were very alike. "But that ended." I felt relief ghosting over me from Edward's direction.

"We were hunting near a small settlement at night. As we waited in the trees, a tiny woman came out of one of the homes and went to an animal pen. Maybe to gather eggs, I don't know.

"William crouched and was going to attack and make her his meal, but something about her reminded me of my mother. Maybe it was her size, maybe it was her presence, I still couldn't tell you for certain, but I asked him not to take her and told him why." Theda had balled up her fists again, her pale skin pulled tight over her knuckles. She was livid.

"William laughed at me and moved to leave the protection of the tree line. Something in me snapped -- I needed to protect that woman. I grabbed him and," Theda inhaled quickly, "dismembered him. It all happened so fast."

"I waited until the woman had left. She hadn't heard a thing. I snuck into a house and took a candle and burned his remains. The way I saw it, it was either him or the woman, and I had made my choice. It wasn't difficult." Theda's voice trailed off sorrowfully, and she looked out the window. The sun was already on its way up. It surprised me that she had been talking for several hours.

"After that, I decided it was time to move on. I sold a good deal of the land, posing as my father's great-great-great granddaughter, charming my way though the transactions. I wanted to see other parts of the continent and realized I had never been over to England. William mentioned that vampires could swim; that's how he had come to the main land, so that's what I did!" She looked proud. "It was the first time I saw the ocean."

"That was in 1603. I took some clothing and stolen jewelry with me, and sold a few of them when I arrived in exchange for somewhere to stay. I boarded with a nice family. All I needed was a room, and I wasn't their only tenant so it worked out well. I never ate with them and I was hardly ever there, so I think they thought I was a prostitute!" Theda laughed, and the rest of the family joined in.

"They lived on the outskirts of London, so I was easily able to get to the moors and forests to hunt. Some nights I had to run quite far, but it was worth it. What a beautiful country," she sighed wistfully.

"After several years I had to move, so I boarded with another family, this time closer to the shore, in Portsmouth. I liked living near the ocean, something I hadn't done while living on the mainland. The sea breeze was rather calming, and I liked hearing news about expeditions to the New World."

"The Jamestown settlement had started in 1607, and it was inevitable that others would follow if it was successful. It had already been several years, so it must have been around 1610 at the time," Theda mused.

"I'd managed to squeeze out about five years in Portsmouth, and when it became necessary to leave, I moved slightly west to Southampton. It was also a port city, but located on a bay so the water was calmer. As luck would have it, Southampton was also near a nicely forested area that I took advantage of for hunting. Over the next few years, I stayed in several places. I couldn't bear to leave because I had grown fond of the city."

"Around 1618, I began to hear reports of another voyage to the New World being planned. In 1619 and 1620, the rumors intensified as plans became more definite. Apparently the Jamestown settlement was being declared a rousing success, and some religious separatists had decided to band together to avoid persecution and settle over in the New World. They, and some other passengers hired by investors, wanted to try their luck in taming the land so they could live how they pleased. Of course, we've all been to school and heard that tale," Theda rolled her eyes.

"We've all heard the story of the Pilgrims, the Mayflower, and Plymouth Rock," Theda added, her voice slightly sarcastic. "But I can guarantee there is more to the story than that. One that doesn't show up on Wikipedia, in a text, or in a classroom." She looked around the room at each of us, gauging our reaction.

"Have any of you heard of the Speedwell?" Theda quizzed, softly biting her bottom lip.

I looked around. Every one of us had been to high school and college more times than we cared to remember, but not everyone was the history buff I was. I raised my hand like I was in a classroom, and Theda smiled and called on me, teasing. "Yes, Jasper?"

"It was the other ship to leave with the Mayflower out of Southampton on September 16th, 1620," I answered smugly. Emmett leaned forward and we fist bumped.

"Ten points for you!" Theda grinned. "I'm impressed. Ten more if you know what else history says happened to the Speedwell."

I thought a moment, shuffling through my vast knowledge of that time period. "Well, if I remember correctly," I said slowly, "it was said that both ships actually left once in August but the Speedwell was leaky, so they had to turn back to England. Both the Mayflower and Speedwell left again in September, but the Speedwell had to turn back a second time."

Theda smiled wryly, the gesture not reaching her eyes. "Yes, that's what history says happened. But that's not entirely accurate."

"What do you mean? Did the Speedwell actually make it to Jamestown?" I was fascinated. I'd had plenty of experience with historians getting facts wrong about the Civil War before, but this was something I hadn't lived through. Part of why I loved watching the History Channel was to pick out errors along with absorbing all of the information I could on events I knew little about.

"No, Jasper, not quite." Theda took a deep breath. "I happened to the Speedwell."

EDWARD POV

"What do you mean, you happened to the Speedwell?" Jasper asked, intrigued, his mind going a mile a minute. I knew he loved it when historians made mistakes. My brother spent hours pouring over articles, books, and other records; anything he could get his hands on. He always had a field day correcting Civil War accounts for accuracy. His thoughts were a little skeptical, though.

"What you just told me is partially true. It's just another example of humans taking historical liberties. This is the Speedwell's full story." Theda inhaled deeply and continued. I was captivated by watching her talk, how she moved her sweet lips, even the way she would bare her teeth a little when she was angry.

"As I mentioned, the religious separatists weren't the only ones who had booked passage on the Mayflower or Speedwell. Investors had hired others to go along as well to settle. Maybe they were hired to find gold or valuable crops. It was pretty typical for the time. I myself hired out as an indentured servant on one of the ships so I could go. Of course, when I got to the New World, I had no intention of staying put," Theda added, smirking. Knowing she was probably bringing to mind a memory from that time, I halfheartedly tried to listen to her thoughts again but came up empty.

"I had no idea how long the voyage would take and neither did anyone else for that matter. It all depended on the winds and weather…quite a mess, actually. I can't say I miss technology that doesn't involve electronics. We did try to leave in August like you said, Jasper, but the Speedwell leaked and it was postponed."

Jasper's thoughts indicated he was happy his obsession with the History Channel was paying off.

"We did leave again in September. That part is also true. However, after we embarked the second time, that's where the inaccuracies start. Both ships left. The Speedwell never came back." Theda bit her lip, and I began to get glimpses into her mind again. These were the first images I had received from her since the Volturi's visit. When she spoke of her time in Germany and with William, Theda had kept her mind tightly closed, even more guarded than usual.

Two ships were docked in a harbor. There was a smaller one that was the Speedwell and a larger one, the Mayflower. Each ship was being boarded by both people and animals.

"We boarded the ships without much trouble and set sail. I had gorged myself on animal blood before we left so I could manage to avoid feeding as long as possible. I didn't know how long I'd be cooped up on a ship with so many humans," Theda told us, absently tugging on the hem of her shirt. "My control was good after two hundred years, but I didn't want to tempt fate." The distressed look on her face told me that, control or not, this tale didn't have a happy ending.

"After two weeks on board, I was thirsty to the point of distraction. I rarely went ten days without feeding when on land with humans around, and my control was being tested daily being stuck on a boat with tantalizing walking meals." Theda winced apologetically. "I don't normally think of humans like that, but after that amount of time on the ship, I wasn't myself. They were all just so close. Two weeks without hunting was pushing my self-control to the point of recklessness, and I knew I needed to feed so as not to be a danger to anyone. We were nowhere near done with our journey and nobody seemed to know how much longer we had, so I discretely started to feed on some of the farm animals they had brought on board. I would wait until the keepers fell asleep, and then take a goat or sheep. They weren't very satisfying, and didn't tide me over for long."

Theda silently descended into the cargo hold of the ship, listening to the rhythmic breathing and heartbeat of the young boy who tended the animals.

Struggling to not let her hunting instincts get the better of her, she carefully took a sheep, sinking her sharp teeth into the woolly neck and draining the animal dry within a minute.

She pulled back, setting the carcass on the wooden floor and scrunched up her face as she opened her mouth and removed some wool that had stuck on her tongue.

I almost laughed out loud, her expression was so comical, and I stifled my chuckle by needlessly clearing my throat, earning a raised eyebrow from Alice.

"I managed to survive like that for the next two weeks, taking a small animal every few days. Obviously I couldn't feed frequently or else someone would get suspicious," Theda sighed.

"Eventually, the continuous death of the animals did attract attention, so I was stuck. I couldn't feed -- they now had more than one person guarding the livestock on shifts and I was getting desperate."

"The thirst became so severe that I was forced to try to feed. One night I decided to try my luck, so I went down to the cargo hold again. Miraculously, no one was there, so I took a cow. It was risky to do, because cattle were one of the bigger animals they had on board, and there were very few of them. Taking even one would be enough to cause alarm, but I had so few choices and I didn't know when I'd get a chance to feed again. So, I began to drain the cow. It didn't taste good, but it would hold me over for a while. Unfortunately, I was so absorbed in feeding that I didn't see or hear the young man coming until it was too late." Theda shut her eyes and I knew if it were possible, tears would have leaked from the corners.

"I was so involved in feeding that I dropped the animal and attacked the young man. I drained him within seconds, but not before he could yell once. More people came, but I only remember being in this crazed state, feeding and attacking. I had drained six people before my bloodlust was sated and I had control again, but by that time the entire ship was in disarray."

"I knew what I had to do. Leave no evidence," Theda spat bitterly. "I killed everyone on board until the only heartbeats I could hear belonged to the animals. There were thirty-one humans in all."

"I went up to the top deck and looked around. The Mayflower was far in front of us, and it was a very dark night. I could barely see the other ship, so I knew none of the humans would see the Speedwell if they looked behind them."

"I took down the mast first, and threw the anchor overboard to immobilize the ship. Then I went back down to the lower decks. I made certain that all of the humans were dead, and I gathered clothing that I knew would fit me and any valuables I could find into a parcel to carry. I rationalized that the humans wouldn't need them anymore." Theda chewed on her lower lip, and looked sadly back at the rug again.

"I tore holes in the hull and bottom of the ship. I needed to sink it. Before I did that, I killed the animals, too. I've heard that drowning is a cruel way to die, so the least I could do for the poor creatures was to make their ends swift and painless." Theda swallowed thickly, clearly upset. I looked over at Jasper; his expression was similar to Theda's.

Once again, Theda's unbidden memories flooded my consciousness.

I saw the surprise on her face as the young boy startled her while she was drinking from the small brown cow. The flow of venom instinctively increased dramatically when she caught his scent, pooling in her mouth.

Spurred on by the thirst that raged through her, Theda rushed toward him in an instant and latched on to his neck, but not before the boy cried out once, loudly. Theda silenced him when she snapped his neck and he sank into her arms as she drank, savoring the flavor of our natural prey.

Having heard the young man's yell, several humans came running but of course none of them could fight her off. The rabid feeling of the thirst took over and soon it was too late, too much damage had been done. Theda had done away with nearly half of the humans on board.

Panicked, Theda realized she couldn't leave any survivors…they all knew she was something other than human. She raced around the different decks, snapping the necks of everyone she came across…men, women, children. Leave no evidence. It was the only true rule of our kind, and the one that had nearly ended Theda's existence in Switzerland.

She caught her reflection in a small mirror and let out an anguished cry…her eyes had returned to a bright blood red from the human blood she had consumed. The disgust she felt toward herself radiated from the memory, and Theda struck out in her rage, easily breaking the mirror and crushing the frame to dust. Glass tinkled down to the wooden deck at her feet.

Theda paused and stood still as a statue, listening intently. The only heartbeats she could hear were those of the livestock; none of the beats had the rhythm of a human's heart.

Theda ran to the upper deck and assessed the Mayflower's distance in a second and snapped the mast like it was a toothpick. She heaved the anchor overboard and then ran below to collect clothing and valuables. Placing them in a small satchel, Theda made her way back to the animals in the hold. Speaking softly to them, Theda apologized before ending their lives.

Seconds later, she had torn three huge holes in the bottom of the ship and quickly made it up to the top deck while the ship sank below her. She waited until water seeped around her bare feet and jumped into the cold, dark water with her parcel, swimming into the black night.

I shivered when Theda's memory ended as though it were I in the frigid water. If I had been in the same situation, I could not have said I'd have acted differently. Theda had nothing to be ashamed of, but she clearly was. I listened helplessly to her mental voice as she began berating herself again. Didn't she realize these situations were out of her control? She was not a monster, far from it!

Theda stared blankly at her hands when she finished speaking as though trying to find fault with her flawless nails.

"I went to the top deck and waited until I was sure the ship was going down. When I was certain the ship was sinking, I jumped and swam. I touched ground somewhere in what's now Florida, but it was fairly desolate at that time but for some Native American tribes. I avoided humans the best I could and ran deep into the country." She was silent for nearly a minute, lost in her own thoughts, thoughts that I now had no access to.

Theda raised her head and gazed around the room, starting with me, her eyes full of sorrow and guilt. "And that's what really happened to the Speedwell."

She looked around the now almost too-bright living room as though waiting for the other shoe to drop. Theda's thoughts quietly came back into focus for me.

When are they going to realize the horror of what I did? Not just once to a village, but a second time to a whole ship? All I can do is wait for them to realize what I really am and to forcibly remove me from their house and presence; for them to realize I don't belong with them.

She was waiting for the harsh, disgusted words to start being thrown at her, words she was relentlessly repeating in her head: Massacre. Slaughter. Bloodbath. Murderer. Killer. Monster.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Theda squeezed her eyes shut and counted, waiting one second, which slowly turned into five, and then ten. No one said a word.

A/N: Reviews = love, my lovelies!

Come play on the thread…I don't bite, I promise!

http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=33&t=5293