Author's note: Well, my muse decided to come back home to it's favorite story. So here's the next chapter!
It has come to my attention that, by some strange twist of random chance, bunjamina66's story "The Atlantis Infirmary Rulebook " has a lot of rules that are extremely similar to mine.
Any strange spelling errors in this chapter are the result of it having been typed up completely in OpenOffice, which I'm not that good at using.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate: Atlantis. If I did, it would have never been cancled, and Carter would have never been in comand of Atlantis.
159. The "Green Acres" theme song is not to be sung.
The first time, it was somewhat funny.
The one hundred and twenty-ninth time, not so much.
160. Do not aggravate alien team members.
Atlantis-8 had a new member- a 5"4' humanoid with features that reminded one of a lion, and a temper to match.
Also, as Atlantis-6 found out the hard way, it had a tremendous skill with martial arts. They were admitted to the infirmary with twenty-one disjointed elbows, two black eyes, and a large bruise courtesy of a passing Althosian.
161. Unless you have reasonable evidence it is sentient, DON'T APPOLIGISE TO IT!!
The sanity of some of the command staff was in extreme doubt.
162. No, this does not mean you can avoid apologizing to the scientists.
Atlantis-3 had tried to provide "reasonable evidence" that their resident astrophysicist wasn't actually sentient.
163. Atlantis personnel are hereby prohibited from singing the "Shell Rotella" theme song.
Sheppard looked at the rule at extreme disappointment, then reached for a pen and made his own addition.
164. Whoever taught it to Todd is in SERIOUS trouble.
The muddled strains of "...you'll get farther down the road with Shell Rotella, even if Rotella T don't rhyme that well.." came from the direction of the brig.
Sheppard went to see if Rodney had found any earplugs yet.
165. Do not feed Ronon whipped cream.
The big Sateden had gone... slightly mental.
After balancing a blender on Wolsey's head, he had set off around the control room at maximum speed, singing something about pumpkin pie, Genii, and forks.
166. Sheppard is not "Colonel Hogan"
The Dadelus has brought a number of DVDs. Among which was the entire first season of "Hogan's Heroes". Atlantis-4 had watched said DVDs ad nausem and got some strange ideas.
167. The next person who refers to Mr. Wosley as "Commandant Klink" is facing a permanent transfer to a Wrath-infested planet.
Sheppard had allowed himself to be talked into watching a few episodes- and noticed a distinct similarity.
168. For that matter, Dr. Becket prefers not to be called "Colonel Newkirk". On pain of spurtles and large needles.
The Hogan's Heroes craze was getting a little out of control.
169. It is inadvisable to call McKay "Sergeant Schultz".
170. Even if they are extremely similar.
Even ice-cold showers with green dye hadn't dissuaded Sheppard.
171. I don't care what reason you had- no Peanut-butter and superglue sandwiches.
Fortunately, the culprit of this prank remained unknown.
172. Kayro is not be dumped down the backs of people's necks.
One didn't know what "sticky" meant until one had half a gallon of Light Corn Syrup up-ended over one's head.
Sheppard was out for revenge.
173. When under fire from Wrath, throwing the local religious establishment down the hill at them is not an appropriate response.
A more-than-slightly-drunk SGA-6 had been attacked on P3X-487. And responded by demolishing the local temple and throwing it down the hill at them.
The locals had politely asked them not to return without adult supervision.
For those who aren't first-year Latin students: "Ad nausem" means "until sick". I think.
Author's Note: Well, what did you think? Leave a review and let me know!