Me? Am I really important at all? Is my self conscious just failing me or do I really not have a place in this society?
Who else feels this way? Like everyone was made with a purpose, with a reason to live- everyone but you? I feel this way all the time, is it true?
Or does everyone have a destiny? Even me. I'm here because there's something that only I can do- only I'm made as a perfect puzzle piece for this life. We all are. We all fit in somewhere, perfectly.
Hey hey how's it going? So I've got a nice chapter planned out, and I hope you enjoy it! (Betcha weren't expecting another chapter so soon huh?)
To Ayami55 I'm glad you like the mini plot twist that I included, there's going to be a lot more of Xana interactions in the near future of this fanfiction. I can't wait to hear what you think about it! Thank you for reviewing!
To My Lovely Guest I was planning on it! 😉 Thanks a bunch!
Note: When all else fails with romantic creativity ~eat chocolate~
Astrid's POV
We got in major trouble for being out in the woods late, and all of us were assigned not detention- but chores. Yumi, Aelita, and I have to wash the dishes after lunch, Odd and William have to clean the auditorium, and Ulrich and Jeremy have to clean the four closest bathrooms to the cafeteria.
"And on top of that all of us are on the committee for the dance!" Aelita says grudgingly. I grunt and fall back on my bed, holding my pillow in my arms. "Jim was seriously harsh.."
"Yeah, well at least we don't have detention right?" I say, truthfully I'm grateful for this new bit of work. The dance is in three days, and we have to set it up with everyone, along with doing the dishes. It may be unpleasant, but it affectively keeps my mind off the recent dilemmas.
Xana is part human, like me. Xana is also searching for someone - me. The only person I know who would do that..is my brother. What if that's it? What if he's somehow Xana!?
I shake my head and roll over burying my face in the pillow. Please don't let it be true, he's hurt everyone so much..that's not who he is. Why would he do all of this stuff?
"Astrid are you alright?" Aelita asks and I sit up to give her a smile. Everyone, I know I should tell them about Danny and myself but..I need to organize my thoughts first. I've got to figure out just what happened after the incident in the lab. I know we have a grave for Danny, and we had a funeral service. But what if he's not dead!? What if he's alive..
"Yeah, I'm just worried I guess. This whole thing about Xana just..."
"frightens you? It scares all of us to be honest. This whole time we thought it's been a computer- but a man? That's, well, terrifying. My dad created that- him. I wonder how he did it." She says and I gasp softly. Of course! It can't be Danny because it we Aeilta's father who created Xana in the first place.
But then, why was he looking for me?
(ugh, does not matter. Can't I have more than a few moments of happiness?!)
"You're right Aeilta, I'm just spooked. Pretty tired too. I'm going to bed, good night." I say and she responds with good night as well and turns off the light.
In the morning we did the usual 'routine' (if you can call it that) and left the dorms early to meet with everyone in the recreation rooms. Last night we decided it would be a good idea to hang out together for a bit before breakfast. However, that also meant getting up earlier, which is not good for exhausted teens.
"*yawn* At least we didn't have to deal with Sissy this morning." Aelita says and I nod in agreement. I may be distressed with all the trouble with my past but I fully realize that I'm very happy here. With Aelita, Yumi, Odd, Ulrich, Jeremy, and now William too. I never dreamed that I would come back to a life like this. Heck, when I first met them I still believed that everyone around me gets hurt.
Which, even though history has proven that true, I feel so confident that it won't be the same this time. I've finally made friends that I can count on, and there's no way I'm going to lose them this time!
I sigh contently as we pass by the vending machine for drinks and such. I stop and pull out some change that I had in my jacket pocket.
"Aelita, you go ahead- I'm going to get some tea." I say pointing my thumb to the machine and she nods. Chai tea has to be the best thing in the mornings.
"You don't want me to stay?" She asks as the early morning chill makes it's presence known with a huge blast of wind to our faces. Gee, thanks nature. I shake my head and start putting the coins in.
"No, it's getting to cold. Trust me I'll be quick." I say and she nods and scurries off quickly to the rec. rooms. We're currently in that part of the year where it's super cold in the morning but in the afternoons you don't even want to look at a jacket or you'll start sweating.
I bounce on my toes as the cup fills with tea, but turn as a figure starts walking up to me. It's Eric..or William. They look so alike from a distance I can't tell who it is. I pick up the cup when it's full and turn and wave.
"Hi Astrid, how's it going?" He asks and I smile, it's Eric. To be honest- him knowing a big part of what happened, and me hardly knowing him is troubling. What should I say to him? How should I act? Does this automatically force us to be better friends or should I just ignore him?
"Well as I'll ever be, what are you doing up so early?" I take a sip of the coffee and he shrugs.
"I could ask you the same thing." He says and I raise and eyebrow, he laughs good humoredly and I decide to let it slide.
"We're hanging out in the rec. rooms- do you want to join us?" I ask and suddenly wonder if that's a good idea to invite him. Of course it is, he helped us a lot. Right?
"Nah, actually I'm leaving in a few hours." He says and I widen my eyes. Leaving Kadic?
"But you just got here, and I thought you said you were staying for a while?" I ask and he shrugs again.
"Yeah well I was found out and my 'friends' are throughly pissed at me, you know for leaving spontaneously.. They demanded I come back and you know, they're probably right." He says and I shift my feet.
"These people know about lyoko and Xana and everything?" I ask and to my surprise he shakes his head.
"No, actually I'm the only who knows about your lyoko- and I only got involved for William. In the end we're working with something much less dangerous to the world, our supercomputer isn't as advanced as yours. Anyway, it's a long story and it's better if you guys just take it easy for now. Xana has your hands full, so wouldn't it be best if you kept it that way for a bit?" He finishes and I narrow my eyes. He asking me to convince everyone that it's not a problem for now. To leave it alone, somehow make them understand. Or maybe just to lie to them.
"I'm sorry, but it's not my choice to make for the team. If they want to investigate it- then I'm not going to stop them." I say and he nods, like he expected it.
"You're loyal, I'll give you that. I guess I've already passed my meddling limits anyway. Actually I just came to talk to you so I could tell you something else." He says and I instantly what he means.
"What happened to me in the lab...the fact that you saw it all..." I say and trail off.
"I won't tell anyone, I promise. But if you ever need me- for anything, well -here." He sands me an index card with a number and email on it. For a second I just stare at it. Then I rip it in half and pull a pen from my pocket. I write my number and email too and hand it to him.
"Likewise." I say and for a second everythings relaxed and friendly between us, just regular people who know each other.
"I've got to go." He says and I nod, this'll be goodbye for a while right?
"one more question." I say and he takes a step closer to me. This has been bothering me for a while, I can't let it go until I see him again, "When we first met, why did you kiss me? You could've gotten our attention by just saying a sentence. So why kiss me?" I ask and he steps closer to me, suddenly it feels like my chest is tightening.
"You reminded me of someone my uncle knew. He says it was his greatest regret to this day, that he didn't kiss her goodbye one last time." Eric says with a sly smiled on his face. "That- aaand I saw William's clone, and was kinda annoyed. I wanted to make your friends angry- sorry. It wasn't your first kiss was it?" He says and I roll my eyes.
"The latter story is much more believable than the former. And no it was not." I say laughing depite the pang I feel from remembering my first kiss. "I have to get going, and probably so do you." I say and turning to walk to the rec. room.
"Take care, Hax!" He calls and I look back and wave goodbye. He turns and runs, while I stand there wondering if it really was a lie about that whole sob story.
Finally I turn to walk into the trailer, but the door opens just as I reach for it. I take several quick steps back and so does the person on the other side. Odd blinks for a second and then turns and calls into the room, "Found her."
He steps out of the trailer followed by everyone else. Oops, I guess I took too long. Aelita looks at me amusedly and I shrug with a smile on my face.
"Sorry, I ran into someone." I say
"Who?" Yumi asks, curiously. I wonder what they talked about while I was gone. We start walking to the cafeteria and Odd falls in beside me.
"Eric, he's leaving town today."
"Already?" Jeremy says surprised and I nod.
"I wonder if he talked to William before he went." Aelita muses.
"We didn't get a chance to ask him about the others out there." Ulrich states and I turn to Odd, he's being unusually quiet- I wonder what's up.
"Actually I did ask him about that." I explain to them about our conversation- of course leaving out the whole kissing thing. When I'm done we've reach the cafeteria and just kinda stand next to the door.
"That's...complicated I guess." Yumi says and Jeremy sighs.
"So? What do we want to do? Should we investigate it or leave it be for now?" He asks and we all look around at each other.
Nobody says anything for a full minute before Odd finally speaks up. "We shouldn't decide now, what we choose could decide what we spend our time on for a while. I think we should really think about what we should prioritize." He says, frankly stunning everyone.
"Odd that's actually a really intelligent idea. Where did that come from?" Ulrich says and Odd gives him a crooked smile.
"Cmon I can have my moments! Besides I'm hungry and don't want to stand out here for any longer!" He says and we all laugh and agree.
"Tomorrows that dance, so why don't we do it the morning after?" Aelita suggest and I groan.
"Another early morning?" I complain but with humor in my voice. That's what we agree on and the rest of the morning passes smoothly. Occasionally I'll see one of them thinking about something, lost so far in thought that the teacher has to call them back to earth.
Odd and I chat casually during class and I begin to wonder what made him so quiet earlier. Before I know it it's after lunch and Aelita, Yumi, and I finish the dishes. We break off for classes and then come back afterwards. Tomrrow we have off from school for the dance, but that just means more homework. Much more homework.
Finally we're all sitting at a table in the auditorium finishing up the last of the homework so we can start setting up decorations. The other people on the committee went and bought all of them, so they claimed it was our job to set them up. It's not really that surprising because they were all upperclassmen, but I don't mind much anyways.
"Done." I say and stretch, letting my pencil drop on my notebook.
"Geeze you're fast, can you help me with number 27?" Ulrich grumbles still stuck on the math problems. I stand up to go help him but then someone taps me on the shoulder.
"Astrid you've got a letter waiting in the office, you should probably hurry to pick it up." A voice says from behind me and I turn to see Milly Solovieff. She's a seventh grader that does reports and such with her friend whose name I can't recall. Tammy maybe?
"Oh, alright." I say and stretch over to table to take a quick peek at Ulrich's work. "In one of your steps you left out the negative sign." I say and with that I turn to walk out of the cafeteria. When I get to the office I pick up the letter and thank the secretary.
Once I have it, I open it as I walk back to the auditorium. However, when I see who it's from I stop cold. 'Jimmy'. I haven't...we were friends from the orphanage before the coma, but I never imagined to receive something like this from him.
I read through the letter, which was roughly the same as Gwen's just way shorter. He asked how I was and what I'd been up to, then told me about everything that's happened to him. At the end he told me some encouraging words and then told me about a note included that I didn't even notice. It's at the bottom of the envelope, and I pull it out to read it.
However as soon as I see who it's from I shove it back in the envelope. No, no way. Not happening. There's no way Alex sent me a note. What will it say? Will he apologize or defend himself? I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment and then open them to pull out the last thing in the envelope.
For a second I'm very confused as to why I'm staring at a thumb-sized teardrop shaped block of wood that's crudely painted red. Then I recognize it and realize it's not a teardrop, it's half a heart. My heart feels numb and I slowly put it, not in the envelope but into my pocket.
I hesitantly open the note that he sent me and slowly read the few words that are on the page. 'I loved you, I miss you, but I hope you've moved on like I have. Some day we should hang out again with everyone together - Alex'
At first a wave of sorrow washes over me, but then it passes and changes it anger. Rage, to be more precise.
What the hell!? I've gotten over you a thousand times over, asshole! I didn't ask for this dumb letter or this dumb heart! You can take all of those years back for all I care! "Get over yourself!" I actually say out loud and rip up the note. I storm over to the nearest trash can and dump the shred of paper in it.
"Astrid?" Someone's voice from behind calls my name and I turn to see Odd. Did he come to check on me? I stare at him surprised, not knowing what to do. Oh dear, he just saw me get really angry didn't he.
"h-hey there." I say and he walks up to me.
"Are you alright? I just got this feeling, like something might be wrong." He says and I smile gratefully. He was worried about me.. For some reason my heart is beating very quickly, and I notice that the hallway has become empty.
"Thank you. I got a letter from an old friend...and a small note from...'someone else'" I try to speak impassively but I can't help but grow mutinous when I think about him. Odd smiles and I tuck a loose piece of hair behind my ear. "Yeah, I guess it's just disconcerting. I.. The only way I was able to move on after woke up was to get it in my head that it was a clean start. That I'd leave everything behind. Recently though my old friends have contacted me and even though it's thoughtful of them I can't..." I bite my lip and look at him, he has this easy look on his face that tells me his listening.
"You can't let that mix with this, with everyone here?" He offers and I nod, pleasantly surprised that he understood.
"If something were to happen again, if I had to leave you guys behind...I don't know what I'd do. You're everything to me." I say and then I blush. "I mean- you as in everyone! Like You, Yumi, Aelita, Ulrich, Jeremy- everyone." I say nervously, my heart beating even quicker. How fast can you even go, dammit?
"Right, I feel the same way. 'Everyone' here has grown precious to me, and I really enjoy the time I spend with 'everyone'." He says jokingly and I laugh trying to hide how nervous I feel.
Could it be.. Odd and I are just friends right? Definitely. I look away for a bit but then look back at him. Our eyes meet and he smiles. It's like a warm blanket around my fragile heart, and I smile back softly.
"You know, Jeremy already asked Aelita- and I know Ulrich was planning on hiking up his skirt to ask Yumi so-" he starts but I interrupt him.
"Wanna go to the dance together?" I blurt out and then blush and look away again. My mind wanders to the time we bumped into each other. Afterwards we both kinda stared at each other for a while. "You know, as friends..or something." I say and look away from him.
"You could've let me asked, I was so prepared- even if I didn't try to write a poem, like Ulrich." Odd says and I turn to look at him. He's smiling and I snort. "Emphasis on 'try'"
"Just answer the question." I say and he shrugs. I punch his shoulder and he laughs.
"Of course Astrid, why would I say anything different than yes?"
"I dunno, I just had to here you say yes." I say and he leans close to me. Earlier this year, he would've had to have stand in his toes to reach me, but now he can do it easily. His hand brushes my cheek and I squeeze my eyes shut.
"You had an eyelash." He says and I hear footsteps walking away. When I open my eyes my knees feel weak he's already walking back to the auditorium. 'Why?,' I wonder. For sone reason I thought he was going to kiss me.
"Wait up!" I call after him and together we walk into the auditorium laughing. I catch Yumi's eye and she raises an eyebrow with an amused look on her face. I stick my tongue out at her and she rolls her eyes.
Thrity minutes later we had put our school things away and started working on the decorations. I lifted Aelita into the air on my shoulders and she and I strung up streamers and other decorations. Yumi was tying balloons everywhere and to everything while the boys finished their cleaning duties. During that time William came and joined us to take up his part of the cleaning too.
"Astrid watch out!" Aelita says and something drops down right in front of me. The tape. "I dropped it." She says and I laugh.
"Okay just jump down for a second." I say and start kneeling down own. She jumps off and sticks the landing, like a true lyokolian. "Well, we already have enough decorations in this part anyway." I say and she nods.
"So, what's going on with you and Odd?" She's asks casually and I shrug.
"What about you and Jeremy?" I ask and she shrugs. We both share a look and giggle, then Yumi walks over with a mischievous look on her face.
"Hey girls, I think I've got an idea to make this a lot more fun." Yumi says and holds up a bag full of glitter. I raise and eyebrow and glance at the boys. OH, won't this be so much fun!
What's this? I'm already finished with this chapter? I had quite a lot of fun writing this one actually. Well I really hope you enjoy this fun little chapter. I don't think there was much new stuff in here but hey, they had some fun so why not cut them a break? I'm going to try and get another chapter out by tomorrow night cause after that I'll have a ton of stuff to do. I won't have another free weekend till November. Thank you guys for hanging in there with me! Have a good day!❤️❤️