Daryl dixon's mind travelled to the first time he went out looking for Gabriel, he had thought that he'd seen her sitting by the river, staring out at the crystal blue water, but the wasn't there when he went closer. He'd spent the entire evening and most of the night searching. He had went back to the shop they stayed in and was confronted by a raging mad Merle.
The two brothers were seated opposite each other on the cold concrete flood. Nothing between them but Merle's words. "So let me get this straight, you didn't go huntin' for food today 'cause you thought you saw the girl? The heaven's save me from this pussy you've become. My brother, more keen on finding some immigrant chick than keeping the two of us alive. What do you think you'll do when you find her? Marry her while I rub your redneck feet? Cause that what you are, nothing but a stupid hick. You know how long I spent trying to make a man of you, and what do I get? A pansy ass child who don't know his sex drive from his hunting instinct! She ran away cause you're a freak, nothing but redneck trash. She's probly' out there drinkin' tea with the queen, laughing behind your back. Just remember, she aint your kin. Blood before anything else."
"How old are ya now?" Daryl asked, he had to know, that was his last question, then he was going to leave. She did it to him once, he would only be returning the favour. "20 as of the end of Autumn." Daryl clenched his teeth and could taste blood in his mouth. She was 11 years younger than him. He was no better than all those men that wanted to do bad things to her.
"You best be leavin now." He said as he picked up his crossbow, his arrows and the string of dead rodents. "I don't understand..." she said, her voice was shaky.
"Are you stupid? I said leave woman! Go on get." He said and kicked up the dead leaves beneath his feat. He was shooing her away like a dog. Because what life would she possibly want to have with someone like him? He'd promised to take her with him when they got the bike working, nothing more. It was just a lift to the city.
Here he'd gone telling the redhead that he had fallen for her. That was stupid. He wasn't thinking with the right head. He turned and left, adjusting his bow on his shoulder. "And don't you take my fucking peanut butter again."
"Yo what took you so long?" Merle asked as Daryl dropped the squirrels on the floor. "You got the drink?" He asked, staring as Merle rummaged three bottles out of his bag. He needed to erase the entire evening from his mind. Not just shove it down, but completely forget that it ever happened. He was going to drink himself into an alcohol induced coma and sleep until it all went away.
More than half a bottle of whiskey later, Daryl spoke. "You know that Asian kid that was here all those years ago?" Merle nodded, not nearly as drunk as his brother. "Well we emptied this part of the city and the other half's overrun with Walkers. I say we take their camp, rob 'em blind and go find a house or somethin'." Merle's eyebrows raised. "I like your thinkin' brother. But how you supposin' we find him? Not lie they'd leave a bread trail." "He's been coming and going through the city for a while now, it wouldn't be hard just followin' him." Daryl beamed as his brother patted him on the back. "You're turnin' into a real Dixon, lil' bro."
He'd consumed more whiskey than was healthy for a living person, and he felt good. His view of the mirror was blocked by his unnecessary amount of hair. Did he really look so different that the redhead didn't know who he was? He had started growing a beard and hadn't properly cleaned himself for weeks.
He took the knife he used for skinning animals and dragged it through a knot of hair. Then again and again until he was satisfied. It was cut neat and short. Merle was already asleep when Daryl took the bottle that was a little over half from him and swallowed it down. He couldn't see infront of him as he stumbled onto his sleeping bag and stared at the ceiling while he cried. He chased away the first person he'd ever told about what his father did, that he ever thought he stood a chance with. His redheaded green eyed girl...
He gripped the blade of the knife in his fist and felt better as the blood started dripping from the wound. What was he thinking? She wasn't his. It was him and his brother against the world.