I own nothing you recognize.

When she got home, she sent an owl off to Kingsley, inviting him over.

"Little Dove. This is becoming a habit"

"Yes it is, we should just clear our Saturday afternoons for each other."

"As much as I think you're joking, it's a good idea. We don't see each other enough."

"I know Kings. I think it might be a fun idea. Tea?"

"Please. I'm glad this is better than last weekend already"

She blushed and looked at her teacup. It wasn't exactly a proud moment of hers "Tell me how you are doing."

"Well, your wards have pissed off basically everyone."

Hermione smiled.

"You see, they don't like me trusting random warding from an unknown source. I told them if they could get through they're welcome to fix it."

"Did they?"

He laughed. "Not yet. A couple of them gave up after an hour. Some of the others were at four hours and no luck."

"Don't they realize that it would only take you five minutes to disappear completely?"

"Apparently not. Now your turn. Why did you message me?"

"Well, I hugged Dolohov and felt something weird."

Kings blinked a few times, trying to figure out exactly how to approach this awkward topic. Did her parents never-

"It was this strange cold and warm breeze. It was like someone took summer and winter and put them into a ball."

"OH! Oh. Okay. Was it here?" Kings asked, pointing to his sternum, very happy it wasn't a discussion about anything farther south when she nodded.

"That would be the pendant we created to help him for accidentally blowing out the wall of the prison."

"Wait, the Clerkenwell explosion- that was a wizard?"

"Oh yes. It's why we rarely allow wizards to stay in muggle jail. But the unspeakables had been working to develop an efficient suppressor to improve the muggle relations. They're not too fond of us constantly removing prisoners."

"Can I see any of the theory behind it?"

"Of course. I'll get you a copy."

"You are amazing Kings."

"So you hugged him?"

"Shut up Kings."

Jacob was sitting in his cell listening to Tony speak to himself in Russian. His boyfriend hadn't come to visitation today so he didn't get to see how Tony's visit went. The look on his face when he got back, combined with the rambling wasn't helping him figure anything out. With Tony, there was a 50/50 chance that this could have ended really, really badly. The man shouldn't have any problems with ladies but he had a tendency to shove his foot firmly in his mouth.

"Tony. Either speak so I can understand and help or shut it."

There were a few more words in Russian "She hugged me."

Tony laughed. "So it went well?"

"She talked about her parents and cried and hugged me."

"Two out of three ain't bad mate"

"I think you were right."

"I usually am. What about specifically?"

"Hermione."

"Okay. Give me a little more. We talk about her a LOT."

"I think she likes me."

"I thought we went over this last week."

"I thought you meant she tolerates me."

Jacob was starting to realize that the saying he always heard about the smartest people not having common sense definitely applied to Tony. "For fucks sake Tony."

"What? Do I really need to go over this again? Almost killed her. Half my age. I'm in prison."

"You left out some major details. Beautiful, smart... and obviously interested in you."

He heard the Russian starting again and just laid back down. It was like Tony never had a girl into him, which Jacob really didn't believe.

That Monday, Jacob had made it his mission to annoy Tony by constantly getting Hermione's attention. Every time they switched poses he asked questions, He would randomly makes noises, he commented on the names of positions.

Like always, when she switched to the cobra pose, she smiled at Antonin.

"Are you ever going to tell me about that little inside joke?"

"Probably not."

"Pleeeeeeeeease Tony? If you don't I'll just ask her."

Antonin glared.

"So that's a yes. I'm asking."

They continued through the basic poses and some of the more advanced poses she had been working in. When she got to their new pose of the day he had to bite his tongue to not laugh at Antonin.

"Enjoying this one Tony?"

"Shut up Jacob."

"You know, you say that so often it's lost its meaning."

He went back to trying the scorpion pose as Hermione tried to instruct some of the less flexible in the class.

"Good try! Remember to breathe, if you don't breathe you tense up. Now, you want your forearms flat on the mat, don't rest your head... You could hurt yourself if you fall from this position and we don't want that! Time to work on getting your feet in the air, lift one leg then the other, slowly. We're doing a modified handstand not a back bend!"

She really was a good teacher, even if she was far too perky for a prison. She was walking around randomly correcting the poses and calling out the instructions in a calm tone that he could tell was a hard earned talent. It was times like these where he could see the girl that Tony talked about almost killing, she had obviously been through a lot more than either of them was telling him about.

"Okay good, I like these handstands. Now we're going to move on to the difficult part. Bend your knees and arch your back at the same time, very slowly. Maintain control or you'll fall over! Amazing! Now let's breathe in five, hold... and release! Now, back to our handstand. Good, very good. Now back to down dog. Hold for a little, we don't want to get hurt. Down to the child's pose. And we're all done for the day!"

Jacob stood up quickly and walked over to Hermione before Antonin could stop him.

"Hello Hermione."

"Hi Jacob. good weekend?"

"Dreadfully boring. Luke had a family wedding so no visit. You two would probably get along. Prison pen pals and all."

Hermione laughed "Yes I'm sure we would with our big bad drug dealers to talk about"

"Well of course you'd talk about your boyfriends." Her eyes went wide and he realized what he said. "I mean, fuck. Tony doesn't say you're his girlfriend. I just. Fuck. Please stop looking at me like that. Fuck, Tony is going to kill me."

Antonin took that moment to walk up.

"Why am I going to kill you Jacob? I thought I was out of that business a few years ago."

Hermione just looked at him and then looked down, still trying to formulate a response. Jacob was looking everywhere except Hermione and Antonin.

"Now Tony please remember you don't want to be stuck in prison forever. I, um, may have called you her boyfriend." The last bit he mumbled very quickly.

Antonin looked at the ceiling letting out a long stream of what sounded suspiciously like death threats in Russian.