All Alex could think of through school that day was her dream. The teacher's voices hadn't registered at all; instead, they sounded more like the teacher in the cartoon Charlie Brown. She just drifted through the day on automatic pilot, staring out into space as she tried to decipher her dream.

All she could see when she closed her eyes was Daniel's face, his glassy eyes staring blankly up at her, the blood oozing around him. But it wasn't real. No… it wasn't real at all. When she woke up Daniel was right by her side alive and well. She had touched him, felt the fact that he was there. It was just a dream. Right? So, then, why couldn't she shake it off as just a dream? Why did the images keep haunting her? And why was there a sinking feeling in her stomach again?

Stop it Alex, you're being stupid. What do you think it was, some sort of premonition? That's ridiculous. Get a grip. You're goin' to fail this quiz if you don't pay attention, now CONCENTRATE! The last word blared in her mind like someone had screamed in her ear and she jumped, glancing around for the speaker. It took her a few seconds to realize that it had only been her thoughts and, feeling stupid, she bent back over the pop quiz her math teacher had just handed out. With a sigh, she started reading the questions, though her mind was slowly drifting away again.

The next thing Alex recognized of reality was the bell. Surprised, she glanced down at the quiz that she had somehow completed and handed it forward, hoping that Bakura's math tips had sunk in on some level of her subconscious.

Bakura.

He had just passed her in the hall with Elsie and didn't even say hi. Alex turned to watch them walk away and suddenly felt like crying. He had to have seen her, right? It didn't make sense. Nothing made sense anymore. Right then, as Alex just stood in the hallway with students shoving past her, she felt like the loneliest person in the world.

She snapped back into reality as an old but familiar urge surfaced in her stomach. It had been years since she'd felt it, but there was no mistaking what it was. She knew she shouldn't give in to it, but it was stronger than she thought she'd ever felt it. After fighting with herself for a few more seconds, she started to the bathroom.

The whole way there her heart pounded in anticipation. Her head was screaming for her not to do this, but she ignored it, the sudden desire growing with each step. By the time she reached the bathroom and locked herself in a stall, she was shaking.

Don't Alex. Don't do this. Things aren't that bad. They'll get better. Put it away Alex… she told herself as she slipped her hand into her pocket. She closed her eyes and dropped her backpack to the floor as she felt the smooth surface of what was once an object she couldn't live without. True, she had used it a few times in front of Jade to scare her, but her sister had never known the real reason she still kept it in her pocket. It was like a security blanket to her now. She kept it just for occasions like this. Occasions when she needed it more than she needed air.

Occasions like after her parents died.

No one had known then. No one had known what she did every day while she recovered from the traumatic moment she witnessed. No one had ever seen the scars.

With a trembling hand, Alex slid her penknife out of her pocket and popped the blade out. She opened her eyes and stared at it, running her thumb slowly along its edge. Breathing deeply, she pushed her sleeve up to her elbow and looked at the scars that had finally begun to disappear.

Alex, you can't do this, her conscience said again. But she'd gone to far to turn back now and all of her knew it. Slowly, she pressed the blade to the top of her forearm and, as though the last time she'd done was yesterday, she easily slid the edge across her skin. Immediately, blood began to ooze out of the cut. The sight of the blood struck something inside her and she sank onto the toilet seat, breathing deeply. This was different than cutting her arm every once in a while to scare Jade. This was the addiction. This was what she had worked so hard to defeat three years ago. And now, like a fool, she had triggered it again. Guilt and regret began to flood through her, mixing with the exhilaration.

She shouldn't have done this.

"Shit," she whispered, folding the blade back into the knife and sliding it into her pocket. She listened carefully for anyone who may have been in the bathroom, and after assessing that she was alone, she opened the door.

She quickly made her way to the sink and cleaned her cut, the water stinging it slightly. She didn't use soap because she knew from experience that it would hurt like hell. Once had been enough for her to learn that. After a few seconds, she turned off the water; the fresh cut beginning to bleed again immediately.

With a sigh, she made her way back into the stall to her backpack and unzipped it. She rummaged through it, pushing aside her books and crumpling loose papers, looking for the spare ace bandage she had never taken out of her bag. It was all the way on the bottom and as Alex pulled it out, the clip came loose and fell back among her things.

"Dammit!" she exclaimed, glancing at the line of blood traveling swiftly down her arm. "Shit." After a few more seconds of digging for the clasp, she finally found it and pulled it out. By the time she managed to wrap her arm, her cut looked as though she hadn't cleaned it at all and her left had was covered with blood.

For a moment, she merely stared at the dingy, red bandage, watching as a new stain slowly soaked into it. Suddenly, she shook herself out of her trance and zipped up her backpack. Slinging it over one shoulder, she stood and walked back over to the sink. With a glance at her watch, she rinsed off her hand before leaving the bathroom.

As she walked down the hall, she debated whether or not she wanted to go to lunch. She wouldn't have much time and certainly not enough time to eat, but she decided to go anyway. She wanted to see just how close Elsie and Bakura were getting. The way they had passed her in the hall had unnerved her.

She entered the cafeteria two minutes later and immediately spotted her boyfriend sitting alone at a table with the competition. Though Bakura looked like he was having a normal conversation (of course, that could have also been wishful thinking), the way Elsie was looking… no, gazing… at him was infuriating. Alex made her presence well known as she walked over and dropped onto the bench beside Bakura, glaring at Elsie.

"Alex!" Bakura said, surprised as she wrapped her arm around him. "I was wondering where you'd gotten to."

"Math teacher wanted to talk to me," she replied, shrugging. She ignored the sudden pang of guilt that hit her stomach and tried to convince herself that lying was the best for both of them.

"Really? About what?" Elsie asked, looking at her quizzically.

Alex laughed sharply. "How the hell would I know? It's not like I actually listen when they talk."

"How do you keep your grades up?" she asked, horrified.

"I don't."

At this, Elsie's jaw dropped open. "What does your mother say?"

"My mother doesn't give a flying…" Alex retorted, but Bakura cut her off.

"Ahhh… well, her mother isn't very strict," he said, laughing nervously. Alex began to pull away, but he wrapped his arm around her tightly. He smiled at her, but his eyes stated clearly that he was still angry.

"Oh… well, what about your father? Doesn't he care whether you're failing?" Elsie asked, confused.

"Can we not talk about my parents?" Alex snapped, glaring her. "I'm not failing anything except for math and that doesn't matter."

"Of course it does!" Elsie replied. "Every subject is important!"

Alex opened her mouth to speak, her eyes blazing, but Bakura interrupted. "Elsie let it drop."

She nodded, shrinking slightly. "Sorry, it's just that I'm used to having to make good grades for my parents."

"Yeah, well, not everyone's that stuck up that all they care about is what their parents think of them," Alex blurted out. Bitch, how dare you come between Bakura and me. How dare you make me go back to an old habit!

A hurt expression crossed Elsie's face and her crystal eyes began to water. "I…" she tried, but she couldn't get anything else out. With a tiny sob, she got up from the table and ran out of the cafeteria.

Alex hadn't expected her to react that way. She had thought Elsie would have snapped back with some half-witted remark like she usually did. Running away in tears was the last thing that the prep should have done. And yet, she did.

Alex was yanked out of her thoughts as Bakura grabbed her arm sharply and pulled her off the bench towards the doors that led outside. His grip didn't loosen and he didn't look at her as he stalked to the doors.

"Bakura! Bakura… you're hurting me!" Alex said, prying at his fingers. Why did she suddenly feel like a week little girl? She should be fighting back! She should knock him out! How dare he grab her like that! And yet, she just let him drag her outside, struggling to keep up with him like a dog that had just been caught chewing on a shoe.

Once outside, Bakura finally let go of her. But before Alex could move, he rounded on her, his dark eyes flashing with anger. All she could do was stare at him, her heart pounding in sudden fear.

"What the hell did you do that for?" he cried, glaring daggers at her.

"What? I didn't mean…" she tried.

"She ran away crying, Alex! How could you do that? After our conversation last night I thought you understood!"

Something inside her snapped and she found herself yelling back at him. "How could I do that? How could you do that? You passed me in the god damn hall and didn't even look at me!" she shrieked.

"When did I do that?" Bakura cried.

"Just today! Between classes! You were walking with the bimbo and you just passed me without even saying hi!" The way she was screaming at him and acting made her feel like a little girl who wasn't getting her way, but she couldn't make herself stop. Both fear and pride were arguing with each other and pride was winning. It would prove to be a fatal mistake.

Bakura's eyes flashed dangerously. "I'm tired of you calling her names. And I'm tired of you telling me who I can be friends with."

"I'm warning you that she's a bitch! I'm trying to get you to see sensibly! But you won't listen!" Alex pleaded desperately.

"Why won't you listen? I'm telling you I want to do this and you don't care! All you care about is your tough image! Well, let me tell you something, Alex! That 'image' was destroyed when you first started associating with me!" he cried.

Anger now began building inside her quickly pushing away the fear of what Bakura might do should she say the wrong thing. "No! I know why you're refusing to listen to me! It's because you don't want to know that she's screwing you over! You still like her don't you? Now that she's coming onto you, you're just going to ditch me for her! It's your dream come true! The way you look at her just screams the fact that you want to go screw her!" Alex immediately regretted that once she saw the look on Bakura's face. "I…" she said quietly, struggling to apologize.

Bakura just stared blankly at her for what seemed like hours. His vacant gaze made Alex shake with nervousness. She couldn't believe what she had just said and wished sincerely she could take it back.

When Bakura finally did speak, it was with a calm, cool tone. "This isn't working Alex. I think we'd better split." Without another word, he walked past her back through the doors.

Alex just stared at the doors, her lip trembling as she tried not to let the tears that were welling up in her eyes stream down her face. He had broken up with her. They weren't a couple anymore. She had lost him because of her own stupidity. How could she have been so stupid?

"Dammit!" she shrieked, unable to control herself anymore. She dropped to her knees and buried her face in her hands, crying harder than she ever had in her life. "Bakura…" she sobbed. "I'm sorry… please… come back! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Please…!"

Suddenly, her tears stopped and she stood, digging into her pocket. She sniffed and wiped her cheeks with her free hand, her broken heart pounding. A few seconds later she was lying on the ground crying again, blood streaming down her arms. Inside the school, she heard the bell ring but she didn't get up. Who cared about classes anymore? Without Bakura, she was nothing. He was the one who saved her life and now she had gone and destroyed what they had. How could she have done that? How could she have been so stupid?

"I'm sorry…" she kept repeating, her voice strained. "Please… come back… come back… I need you… Bakura…" Tears were pouring back into her hair and her eyeliner was running but she didn't care. Now, more than ever before she wanted to die. Her life was ruined and it was her fault.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

"Oh god please let this all be a dream! I love him! I love him!" she screamed. "Don't take him away! I'm sorry! I'll never do it again! Please don't take him away from me! I need him! I need you, Bakura! Come back…!"

"Alex!"

Alex was crying too hard to notice that Tea had come outside. All she knew was that it wasn't Bakura. Nothing else mattered.

"Alex!" Tea cried, running to her friend's side. "Oh my god, what happened to you? You're bleeding! Oh, Alex, what happened?"

"Let me die, Tea… please…" Alex moaned, unable to stop the tears.

"What?" Tea exclaimed, horrified. "Alex, please! What happened! Oh god you have to see the nurse!"

"No… I don't want to see anyone except Bakura…"

"Bakura?" By this time, Tea was near tears too. "What happened? Please, tell me! You're bleeding! Oh, what happened?"

"He… broke up…" Alex choked, trying desperately to stop crying.

"What? Why would he break up with you, Alex? Alex, why are you bleeding so badly?"

"I can't stand it anymore, Tea!" she cried suddenly, sitting up quickly. "He doesn't understand why I don't want him around Elsie! He thinks she's changed! She's a prep! She can't change anything except boyfriends! She's playing him I know it! He doesn't see it and he won't listen to anything I say! It's all that bitch's fault! I don't know why she even wants to have anything to do with him! And… and I just got mad and said stuff that I shouldn't have said and he broke up with me! He said that it wasn't working and… oh Tea I just want to die! So, I cut up my arms with my knife, but you can't tell anyone because no one knows. Jade would go out and put me on medication and I don't want any Prozac or Wellbutrin, I just want Bakura!"

Tea pulled Alex into a tight hug as her friend burst into tears again. Alex didn't resist; instead, she welcomed the hug. She needed it.

"I'll talk to him, Alex. He doesn't want to break up with you I know he doesn't. Just let me talk to him. And please don't hurt yourself. Bakura would just die if anything happened to you," Tea said, feeling her heart break for her.

"You can't tell him what I did!" Alex said suddenly, pulling away and trying to hide her arms. "You can't tell anyone! If you do, I'll make your life miserable!"

Tea looked hurt as she replied. "No, I won't tell anyone this time. But if you do it again… I'll have to. I don't want to see you get hurt. You're my friend."

Alex nodded, silently resigning to lying to Tea now too. There was no way she could live without Bakura and stay sane. Tea had to know that. "Just… just don't tell him I was crying. No one can know. This whole conversation never happened, okay?" she said, wiping away her tears, finally able to control herself.

Tea nodded quietly, looking down at her friend's arms. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

She helped Alex up and led her back into the empty cafeteria. They walked in silence down the hallways to the bathroom without running into a single person. As they entered the bathroom, Alex was struck with confusion.

"Tea, why aren't you in class?"

"I saw you and Bakura go outside and he looked pretty mad. When he came back in and you didn't, I thought something was wrong. I was right," she said grimly. Alex allowed her to clean her cuts and bandage them without flinching or pulling away.

There was an awkward silence between the girls as Tea tended to her friend. Alex didn't know what to say; Bakura was the only one who had ever treated her so nicely. Bakura and David.

Shit… That's what I need to be thinking about right now, she thought bitterly as she remembered her horrible dream.

"Alex, are you all right?" Tea asked, concern in her eyes.

"What?" Alex asked, snapping back into reality. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Are you done?"

"Yeah," Tea replied. "That should be good."

"Thanks," she muttered, pulling her sleeves down and looking at the floor. "I appreciate this."

"What are friends for?" the brunette replied softly. "Remember, if you ever want to talk, I'm here. And I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to. Just, please don't hurt yourself anymore. You really scared me when I came outside to find you bleeding all over the place."

Alex nodded. "Yeah, I won't. You'd better get to class. You don't want the teachers to think you actually skipped."

"What about you?"

"I'm going home. I can't stand any more today. And the last thing I want to see right now is Bakura with Elsie."

Tea nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, I understand. If anyone asks I'll tell them you were sick and had to leave."

"Thanks." Alex was surprised at Tea's offer to cover for her, but glad nonetheless. She supposed the brunette wasn't as bad as she had originally thought, though she still wished that she'd actually put on some clothes. However, Tea's clothes were the last thing on her mind right now as she thanked her for her kindness.

The two said goodbye a few minutes later and set off in opposite directions. Alex glanced at her watch, wondering what she would do for the next three and a half hours. She didn't really want to go home, but she didn't feel like going anywhere else either. With a sigh, she left the school and headed down the street.

After a while of walking, Alex decided that the park was probably her best bet. No one would ask any questions at least. It was quiet and peaceful, exactly what she wanted right now. So, that was where she went.

There weren't many people there, which made it all the better. Alex slid down the trunk of a tree and closed her eyes, allowing herself to get lost in the cool breeze. The temperature was perfect and slowly she began to drift off…

000

"Alex?"

She jumped and looked up, squinting against the sun. She wasn't able to clearly see the speaker until he sat down beside her. "What are you doing here?" she asked, genuinely surprised.

"I was walking home from the arcade. I have to pass the park to get home. You said you'd be here, so I thought I'd stop by. You don't mind, right?" Bakura asked.

"Nah, you can chill with me," Alex said, leaning her head back against the tree. Maybe she really should be giving him a chance. After all, he was the only one who had ever stuck by her for so long despite her cold attitude towards him. Anyone else would have given up long ago. But not him. She should give him a chance.

Bakura smiled, his eyes glittering in the sun. He looked so relaxed as he leaned back against the tree with her. Alex hadn't thought anyone could possibly be relaxed with her… but he was. After a few seconds, he pointed to the book in her lap.

"What's that?"

"It's a book," Alex retorted automatically. She expected Bakura to become a little agitated at her short answer, but he didn't.

"What's it about?" he asked, calm as ever.

"It's not," she said, feeling a little unsure of herself now. She wasn't sure if she wanted to show him. After all, it was really only a stupid hobby passed down through the generations. What did it matter?

"What do you mean?" Bakura asked, confused.

She didn't answer right away, but he waited. After a second, she turned her head toward him and looked into his kind eyes. He was completely focused on her as if nothing else around them mattered. Alex hadn't thought anyone would ever find her that interesting or compelling. And yet, somehow she found him interesting as well. There was just something about him that made her believe that she could trust him.

So, she let the book fall open. Between each of the pages was a pressed flower or leaf. Her mother had passed the book down to her and for some reason Alex felt like she had to finish it.

Bakura leaned over her shoulder to see and his eyes widened. "This is your hobby?" he asked softly.

Nervous, Alex shut the book quickly. "Keep your insults to yourself," she snapped.

"No… I think it's great," Bakura said, surprised at her reaction. Alex looked at him in shock, her jaw threatening to drop. "Can I see?" he asked.

Stunned, Alex handed him the book and watched in confusion as he flipped through the pages. He actually seemed interested in it. She couldn't wrap her mind around that.

"It must have taken you a long time to get all of these," he said after a while.

"Yeah, it did," she agreed.

"You don't have many more pages left," Bakura observed, handing the book back to her.

Alex took it and set it back in her lap. "I don't have many more days of nice weather left either…"

0000

a/n: Wow, another long chapter. Well, hope you liked it. I'll update again soon, but don't forget to review!