Chp X: Learning
Disclaimer: SURPRISE! I don't own RT or RWBY! ...did I surprise you?
"Sometimes the wisest people are the dumbest..or vise-versa." ~ ARK
"Hello?" Moon pressed the answer button on her small-sized personal scroll distractedly. She typed at a computer on her other hand.
"This is Weiss! What did you do?!"
"Mm, I took over the Schnee Dust Company." How should I write this letter?
"Why?!"
"Well, Jacques was doing some...let's call it under the line business practices." Moon paused. "...Oh, and he's a jerk."
"Wh-what? Evidence! ...I know he's a jerk, but illegal practices?" Oh how she used to be so naive.
"Sure, I'll send you some later." She pressed the send button on the letter she was working on. "So what's been going on while I was away?"
"...things."
"I see. What did Ruby and Blake do?"
"...they call themselves Red and Belladonna now."
"Huh. Not very creative," said Moon.
"I guess…"
Somewhere in Remnant. In a dark and barren land...Salem, the mother of Grimm, got a ping on her scroll.
"Ugh. This is like the thousandth time this week…"
Salem pressed the message button.
Dear Pale White Creepo,
I wanted to send you this friendly little letter to inform you of your imminent demise. If you're curious about the frequency of which I've sent these letters, it is merely to instill as much fear as I can. I am coming for you, as well as my penguin, as well as a crazy weapons lady, as well as an obsessed porn reader, as well as an insane pyromaniac, as well as an aura-induced radioactive turtle.
That's right.
You are going to die painfully. We already did it once.
Sincerely, Anonymous
Salem's hands gripped her scroll. They began to shake.
"Er. Are you alright, master?" asked Arthur Watts.
"NO!" screamed an enraged Salem. Arthur, Tyrian, and Hazel nervously stepped back. "Who dares send this to me? I shall have them painfully executed!"
"...how did they get my profile information anyway?! It's not like I post it for the world to see!"
Red looked at Weiss. "...so our future dimension's Weiss fired Jacques and took over the Schnee Dust Company?"
Weiss waved at the scroll in her hand. "Yes! I was just talking to her!"
"...darn, I want to see that when it happened," muttered Belladonna. It was understandable, she still detested the man for what he did after all these years. This cat-faunus can certainly keep a grudge.
Red facepalmed. "Is there anyone on our team that is actually responsible?! I expected Weiss to keep us on track!"
I do! Weiss thought. I don't know what happened to my other self. Where did she go wrong?
Belladonna patted the red-caped woman's back. "Don't worry, we don't need responsibility. Besides, it was bound to happen eventually. We always did joke Weiss might take over the world."
"Oh, by the way, Yang went to visit her mom."
Red threw her hands in the air. "People should tell me these things! I'm the Team Leader!"
Yang nervously stepped out of the swirling red portal. She was immediately greeted by her older self.
"Yo, little me," said the future Yang. She towered over her younger self.
"Hi...where are we?" Yang looked around the clearing in the middle of the forest. A few people were looking, but most were going about their own business, entering and exiting tents.
"Eh. Somewhere in Mistral." Future Yang waved off the question. "Doesn't really matter."
"And my mom…?"
"Behind you," said Raven. She grimaced as Yang's eyes locked onto her.
"Oh…" Yang shifted nervously. "Hi?"
"Punch her," whispered Future Yang into her younger self's ear without a shred of remorse. "It'll make you feel a lot better."
Yang looked at her future self. "Is that what you did?"
"Uh...after a while. I was preoccupied at the time, alright?"
Flashback
Raven removed her mask slowly...and overly dramatically. "Yang. So, after all this time you finally decided to visit me." (Yang refuses to admit her real hand was shaking.)
Blah, blah, blah, exposition.
"I'm NOT here for you," said Yang. Oh, BURN. "Ruby is somewhere in Mistral. She's with Qrow, and she's going to need my help. I just need you to take me to her." Suck it up, buttercup.
Raven did not look happy.
"I can hear everything you say," said Raven with a deadpan look. "...no one ever taught you stealth, did they?"
"Ha! I don't need stealth!" As an example, Future Yang's hand burst into flames.
Why can't I do that? thought Yang with a jealous look.
Raven ignored the other-dimensional blonde. She looked at her real daughter. "...let's just get this over with."
"...so you took over the Branwen tribe and named it after yourself?" asked Yang to her future self.
They sat on the floor of the leader's tent.
Future Yang nodded proudly. "Yep, I totally kicked Raven and Vernal butt." Well technically the last name thing was a requirement, but whatever.
Vernal, who had been passing by on her crutches muttered, "don't remind me…"
"I so wanna tell dad this!"
Raven twitched. "No." She would never hear the end of it. Not to mention it would be really awkward.
"Y'know…" said Future Yang. "I never knew how you guys managed to sit down and make a baby, usually you just scream at each other." It was truly a mystery of life.
"Too much info…" muttered Yang.
Future Yang grinned. "So what's my team been doing while I was away?"
"Weiss-or Moon now, took over her dad's company?" said Future Yang. She nodded to herself. This was why she dated the woman, independence was a virtue.
"...and they all have code names too?" she asked.
"Yep."
"Cool. I need one too. Mertle, any ideas?"
The radioactive turtle's head poked out of his Royal wallet. He gave Future Yang a look that said volumes of 'I can't speak, woman.'
Yang blinked. "Right. You have a turtle."
"Not just any turtle," said Future Yang proudly. "That turtle is Mertle, the only radioactive turtle in the world."
Raven twitched.
"Anyway, code names," said Future Yang. "...how about, er…."
"Yellow?" supplied Yang.
"No." What sort of name is Yellow? My name has to ooze coolness, like me.
"Fall?"
"NO!" She didn't need anything that resembled Cinder of all people. The bitch.
"Oh wow, okay. Honey?"
"What? Noooo."
"Dragon?"
"Noo-actually, that's pretty good. Dragon it is!" said Dragon.
"You do realize that would mean your name is Dragon, Little Dragon, right?" asked Raven.
"So? It sounds awesome!"
Two Weeks Later…
Weiss slammed her face into the nearest thing she could find...which was Yang. Oh Oum…
"Hey!" Yang said indignantly.
"Hello people!" said Red, standing on the amphitheater stage. "From now on, I will be your combat instructor." She frowned. "Yeah, poor Glynda needs a break." The lady was basically the headmaster of the school. Ozpin...Ozpin probably obsessed over his coffee most of the time (and other important stuff like defeating Salem, but hey, that was going nowhere).
Team RWBY and JNPR gaped at their new professor.
"Call me Professor Rose."
"...yeah, I like that," Red muttered underneath her breath.
She looked over the assembly of students and smiled. "Don't worry, I have very low expectations for all of you."
For some reason, Team JNPR and Team RWBY suddenly felt very worried.
...They were right to be so.
Cardin of Team CRDL flew across the amphitheater and out the door. He was screaming like a little girl the whole time too.
"...wow, I didn't it was possible for a person to fly and scream for that long," said Yang.
Jaune gulped. "Please don't tell me we're next."
Ruby came back to the group after a quick look at the board. "Hey guys! Team JNPR is next."
Jaune let out a long suffering sigh. Pyrrha put a hand on his shoulder for reassurance.
"...I didn't know it was possible for a person to bend that way," said Blake, transfixed. Poor Russell...on second thought, he was a jerk. He totally deserved it.
Professor Rose banged Dove and Sky's heads together. "Come on! When I was a kid, me and my team were already kicking evil organization butt!"
Team JNPR stared at Team RWBY.
""""We haven't!""""
Later….
Bruised and battered, the two teams dragged themselves to Language Arts. Where for the second time that day, their mouths dropped to the ground.
"Hello students," said Belladonna. She gestured at the lecture hall desks. "Please, take a seat like the rest of your peers."
Team RWBY and Team JNPR numbly did so.
"I am Belladonna Night," said Belladonna. "You may refer to me as Professor Night. I have replaced the old Language Arts teacher as of today." That teacher was real forgettable and unimportant anyways.
Glasses somehow appeared on Professor Night's face at that moment. She pushed them up her nose and used a pointer to point at the board.
"Now today, we will be going over the English language and how to properly use it." She glared at Yang. "I'm looking at you Ms. Xiao Long."
Yang laughed weakly. "Haha?"
"...Do not use the term 'what's up' or 'what is up' to ask people what they are doing at a moment. The sky is up, that's what."
"...I never knew you could be such a boring teacher," whispered Ruby to Blake.
Blake herself was starry eyed. My hero. Correcting the world's English from the villainous commoners.
"Are you even listening to me?" asked Ruby. She rubbed her eyes. Professor Night's tirade had been going on for the better part of half the hour.
Professor Night suddenly appeared in front of Yang, who had fallen asleep behind her textbook. The newly minted Professor ripped the textbook from Yang's desk, jolting the blonde awake.
"And if you ever lose an arm, that does not mean you can start using horrible hand and arm puns."
Flashback
Ruby and Blake were cuddled together on the massive elegant, expensive sofa of the Schnee manor, reading a book on Blake's scroll. Weiss was scrolling through channels on the giant TV she had. ….Instead of actually working for her company.
"Guys. GUYS. GUYS!" said Yang, walking into the living room.
No one looked at her.
"I LOST MY ARM AGAIN!"
"""WHAT?!""" screamed Team RWB_. Ruby jumped out of Blake's arms. Weiss stood up abruptly and turned. Blake had a sinking feeling something was wrong.
Yang's arm was missing, except it was the arm she already lost way back when.
"Haha! Psyche!"
"That. Was. Not. Funny," said Weiss. She walked over to her girlfriend and dragged her to the door. "We need to talk."
"No but seriously, where did my arm go?"
Blake covered her face. "Ughhh."
Ruby looked at her. "Yep."
Professor Belladonna returned to the center of the lecture room in a blur. She began ranting again, this time about the proper usage of 'its' and 'it's'.
Yang blinked. "Why do I feel like that was directed at me?"
Short Story II: Winter Reacts
"General Ironwood, you called for me?" asked Winter, stepping into her boss's office.
James Ironwood actually was behind his desk. Unlike two other individuals that should be. (Moon and Ozpin sneezed at the same time.) He sighed. "Specialist Schnee, how well do you keep up with the news?"
Winter blinked. "Not well, sir. My job as an Atlesian Specialist doesn't give me much downtime to do unimportant tasks like following the news."
Ironwood handed Winter a scroll. "If you need some time off, just tell me."
"Yes, sir?"
"I do not pretend to understand what it's like to have your family usurped in a day, but I wish you the best of luck," said Ironwood.
By now, Winter was completely weirded out. "Er, alright sir?"
"Why don't you sit down in your room before opening the scroll?" Ironwood suggested.
"I'll do that, sir."
Winter slowly closed her borrowed scroll and put it on a table.
"WHAT?!" she than proceeded to scream. She stamped around her bed in circles. I need to talk to Weiss. This is seriously urgent business. Whitley? He was the farthest thing from her mind right now.
Winter stopped. Looks like I will be taking some time off.
Author's Notes: Alright, this was the most fun chapter I've written so far. It's a nice step down from the other day's 4,000 something word count...and I got to do 'Fear Turkey' redux! Shout out to Sinnerlust for that one. Couldn't fit it in last chp…
Reaction to RWBY Vol 5, Chp 9: BURN CINDER FALL! (Figuratively...and literally). Raven...you just went up in my book. Illia, what were you doing? Waiting for Blake? Blake, why did you STOP?
Beta-Reading goes to ten-year old lil bro, just like usual.
Omake V (Non-Canon): Pass (How Vol 5, Chp 9 SHOULD'VE ended)
Blake ran into the main hall. She looked up at where a certain chameleon faunus just happened to be sitting...doing absolutely nothing in an empty room. Blake ran across the room, ignoring Illia. She didn't have time for her! She had a mom to find.
"Hey! Where are you going?!" called out Illia. "We're supposed to have an epic battle where I get to vent out my life story and stuff!"
"I don't have time for that crap! You've already been basically epically rejected, so stop bothering me!" Blake ran straight out of the room.
"W-what?" Illia was left in the dust.
Omake VI: Dinos on Remnant (JP and RWBY)
Challenged By: Dev the snake faunus
"What have you done this time?" asked Ren. Team JNPR watched as the 'dinosaurs' as Jaune had dubbed them completely wrecked Vale.
"A scientific breakthrough!" beamed Jaune. A three-horned dinosaur Jaune called 'triceratops' rammed into some soldiers, sending them catapulting through the streets.
Flashback
Wheeljack and Jaune had hit it off right away, so it was no wonder they had locked themselves in a lab on the Ark. Nobody, not even Optimus Prime himself, wanted to find out what was responsible for those explosions behind closed doors.
As a final parting gift, Wheeljack had given Jaune some amber.
"From what I understand," Wheeljack said. "There is fossilized DNA inside these crystallized tree saps. Maybe you can unlock the potential of these old creatures yourself."
Jaune took the amber from Wheeljack's massive hand. "Sounds like a challenge. Will do."
Jaune frowned. "Didn't think they would get so out of control though." A 'T-Rex' chomped down on a car and used it like a dog would a bone.
"Life finds a way!" exclaimed Nora.
"I suppose you are right," said Penny. She dodged the T-Rex's car.
"Shouldn't we be… helping defend Vale?" asked Ren. "We are huntsmen and huntresses."
Penny tilted her head. "Well, technically Jaune and I are part-time huntsmen and huntresses."
"You know what I mean." A brachiosaurus slammed into a store. A random shopkeeper ran out, hands on his head.
"Er, Jaune?" asked Ren. He looked at Jaune as the man checked all his lab coat pockets.
"Aha!" Jaune pulled out a red button. "Here's the kill switch!"
"You created a kill switch?" wondered Penny.
"What do you take me for? Of course I made a kill switch!"
"Oh! Can I press it?" asked Nora.
Ren dragged his hands through his hair, reminding himself that pulling it out wasn't all that great of an idea. "Are you tell me we've been standing here for the past three hours when all you could've done was PRESS THE BUTTON?" Oum, he didn't know how he was still sane...or maybe he wasn't anymore.
Nora pressed the button. All the dinosaurs dropped to the ground in synchrony, becoming motionless. Penny walked over and poked at a 'velociraptor'.
"They are most definitely dead," she said.
"No. I can't see that," deadpanned Ren.
"Look what I found!" exclaimed Nora, holding up a gallimimus baby a few feet away.
Jaune put a hand to his chin. "Interesting… they managed to reproduce." That was the only explanation. He had made sure every dinosaur he made was tagged with an insta-poison function.
"Can we keep it? I wanna keep it."
"...sure," said Ren. Why not? He had nothing to lose.
Reviewer Responses
Dev the snake faunus: Dev...they probably have a dust for everything. Couldn't fit Shadowclaw into the omake, omakes are supposed to be short and quick. But hey, I tried to make a successful JP and RWBY cross! Not a lot of people can say that! ...poor Ren is going insane because of your challenges though.
Anonymous: That would be pretty funny...then they'd get crushed by Moon.
Yuhitsu: That was hilarious to write too!
merendinoemilliano: ...you'll see.
Hellwyrm: That's what I wanna hear!
Mew Shadowfang: Welp. I explained why Fall would be rejected as a nickname. Now Future Team R_B_ aren't broke, though their teaching credentials should probably be up in the air. My posting schedule is at least once a week for both stories, but usually there's more...so yeah.
Criticism and Suggestions welcomed with open arms!
...and take your time to review, favorite, and follow!