Chapter 10: Where's Your Head At
Quinn stared in shock. Next to a happily playing Beth, Shelby stood. Quinn opened her mouth to say something, anything, but Shelby just stood next to Beth and glared.
Shaking her head, Shelby picked up Beth. Quinn felt a snap of jealously as Beth happily said, "Mommy!" and hugged Shelby.
Puck walked towards the mother-daughter pair, and put an arm around Shelby, and leaned in and kissed Beth's forehead, prompting Beth to say, "Da!" and wave the wooden block she still had clinched in her hand at him.
"What...what's going on?" Quinn finally found the words to ask, half stepping towards the trio.
"We're taking Beth, Quinn. You weren't fit to be her mother then, you certainly aren't now," Shelby said, pursing her lips and frowning at Quinn in a way that reminded Quinn of Rachel.
"Sorry, but you just aren't mother material. It was a good thing you gave Beth up to Shelby," Puck shrugged, and gave Shelby a kiss on the check, "Me and the MILF here are going to take off with Beth to Wright Patterson. We should have done it in the first place, going to the cabin was a stupid idea, I can't believe anyone like, went along with it. Everyone's coming with us."
"Wha...what about me?" Quinn asked, despair rising up in her.
"You aren't invited. What you did to Shelby? You're a horrible person, and you can't be trusted around anyone, let alone a toddler, or the other kids," Puck replied, pulling Shelby closer and glaring at Quinn.
"Please Puck, you can't take Beth with you. I'm sorry, I am, " Quinn said, tears falling and a hitch in her words, "Rachel forgave me for it, can't you? I'd never hurt Beth or the other kids Puck. You know me."
"Why should Rachel's forgiveness mean anything Quinn," Shelby said snidely, "I gave birth to her, but I wasn't her mother."
"Please...please..." Quinn said, wrapping her arms around herself, "Please let me say good bye to her...to Santana...to Brittany...Rachel...the Mack...please! Just goodbye, at least."
"No. You'll never see Beth again, or any of your friends or Rachel, "Shelby said, laughing, and stepping to block Quinn's view of Beth.
"Sorry Quinn, but Shelby's made up her mind. And I don't blame her, really. You did murder her," Puck said with a shrug, and also moved to block Quinn's view of the happy toddler.
Quinn cried so hard it felt like she couldn't breathe, tears falling down her face. Eventually, the tears stopped.
"Why...why haven't you left yet?" She asked, the words heavy and hard to say.
Neither of them answered her. Quinn blinked, and realized Puck and Shelby weren't standing anymore, but kneeling on the ground over Beth.
With a sudden realization, she realized Beth wasn't cooing and making happy noises anymore. There was a sound, but what that sound was she couldn't remember, just that it made her whole self ache with terror.
Quinn stepped forward towards the trio, each step feeling as though her feet weighted a hundred pounds each, and the earth was suddenly heavy mud, trying its hardest to keep her in place.
Slowly, oh so slowly, she walked towards them.
As she got closer, it felt like the air was getting thicker. She was five feet away when Shelby and Puck turned towards her.
They were zombies. How hadn't she noticed they were zombies, before? Did she just imagine them talking to her? Where were the others? She hoped Puck and Shelby being zombies would everyone change their mind about leaving her.
Beth. If they were zombies, Quinn had to get to Beth now more than ever. She didn't want to ever have to worry that her baby was dead, again.
A stream of blood wept down from the bullet hole in Shelby's head. How was she still alive if she had been shoot in the head, Quinn wondered, panic going through her.
A dribble of fresh blood went down Puck's mouth, and it was so unlike the blackish fluid that had been leaking from Puck's mouth before that Quinn stared.
Suddenly, the fog in her brain cleared, and Quinn remembered what the sound was.
Eating. Loud, lip smacking obnoxious eating.
She let out a sob, as Shelby and Puck's zombiefied figures stared at her, grinning gruesomely. Silently, they moved away from where they had been kneeling.
Quinn blinked, and realized she didn't have her contacts or glasses on. Everything was blurry. Why hadn't she noticed that before?
She couldn't see what was left of Beth, every time she tried to focus on that spot her eyes, against her will, would go somewhere else.
She fell to her knees, and screamed, then started silently crying.
Quinn
She heard a voice calling her name, but ignored it.
Quinn. More voices joined the first.
Quinn.
"Quinn," Sarah's voice said softly as Quinn woke up with a start, her heart beating wildly, "Quinn...are you okay?"
Quinn didn't answer, and it took her a few seconds to realize it had been a dream. Just a dream. A nightmare.
"I had a nightmare Sarah," she finally murmured, "Did I wake you up? I'm sorry. I…why is it wet?" She wiggled, disguised.
"No, I was already awake. And um, I think Beth wet the bed?" Sarah said, voice still tinged with worry, "Santana's still sleeping."
"I was sleeping, Baby Puck," Santana's voice called from the top bunk. Santana's sock covered feet swung into view as she started climbing down the bunk beds ladder, wincing at her knee. Quinn had tried to insist the pair take the bottom bunk, but Santana refused. Quinn was concerned that she was only making her knee worse, but there wasn't really anything she could do if Santana wasn't going to listen.
The rooms had eventually been divided up so that The Mack, Rachel, and Tina took the smallest bedroom, and Kurt, Jacob, Blaine, and Finn took the second biggest room, while Sam offered to share the tiny office with his siblings if they could get a bed in there.
All the bedrooms except the master had bunk beds, so that made things a little easier on everyone, even if there were a few obviously unhappy people.
"Ewwww," Santana said rolling her eyes at Quinn. Beth took that moment to start screaming. Sighing, Quinn got out of bed, grabbed Beth and headed to the bathroom.
In the bathroom, Quinn set a still upset Beth down in the tub, stripped the toddler's pj's and soaked through diaper off, and took a moment to take a quick second to pee. Feeling a little better, Quinn washed her hands, picked up Beth, and turned on the tub, shoving the stopper in after she adjusted the nozzle to warm water. She set Beth back in the tub, stripped, and sat in the tub with her.
It wasn't easy, but Quinn managed to get both of them clean and wrapped up in a towel each, and back into their room with only one grin from Jacob Ben Israel, (she glared witheringly at him as she passed by him, and he blanched.)
By now, Beth was still obviously grumpy, but to Quinn's gratefulness, the toddler wasn't screaming anymore. The bedroom was empty, so after she closed the door, she set the towel clad toddler down on the floor and quickly dressed in yoga pants and a t-shirt. Then she wrangled Beth into a new diaper and a pair of jeans, socks, t-shirt and a hoodie. She stood for a moment looking at how cute her daughter was. She ran a brush through her hair, then Beth's.
Handing Beth a couple of toy's to occupy herself with, Quinn, with a frown, gathered up the wet towels, sheets and blankets and closing the door behind her, went to the bathroom to get her and Beth's clothes. She quickly made her way to the laundry room on the first floor, and ignoring the sound of everyone in the kitchen, dining room, or living room, stood in from of the washer and dryer. She opened the washer, and pulled out the almost dry, musty clothes that were inside it. Swallowing heavily, she realized it was probably clothes from the Jones's, or their guests. Ignoring sadness seeping through her, she set them on the washer, and shoved the sheets and blankets inside. She added soap (noting that the box was almost empty,) and started it up, heading back to the room.
There, she found Beth had halfway wiggled out of her hoodie, and was busy happily tearing the pages out of a book that had been left in the room.
Sighing, she put her contacts in, then she picked up the toddler, and went back downstairs, Beth wiggling in protest the entire way.
She noticed Ms. Pillsbury was sitting at the largest couch in the living room, taking up half of it sorting through a pile of suit cases and bags around.
Deciding not even to bother saying anything, she made her way through the kitchen (and judging by the mess in the kitchen, the group had decided to just make what they wanted instead of a group meal,) and into the dining room. "Morning," Brittany said, giving her a wave from next to Santana "I made us breakfast," she gestured to the full pot with oatmeal, and a small plate of bacon sitting next to her.
"Thanks Britt," Quinn murmured. She spooned a little oatmeal for Beth, and herself and started picking at it -unlike Beth, who was gleefully flinging oatmeal around until Quinn took the spoon from her, and started feeding her. Brittany smiled at her, and nudged the plate with the remaining bacon on it towards her. Smiling at Brittany, Quinn started enthusiastically eating the bacon.
Mack came over, plopping in the chair next to Quinn, setting a cup of coffee next to Quinn's hand, and started sipping her own coffee.
Quinn sipped at it, and muttered, "Thanks," to Mack. It was just the way Quinn liked it. Mack nodded, and swiped a piece of Quinn's bacon, before leaning back and fiddling with her phone with a frown.
Quinn concentrated on eating, and feeding Beth, tuning out the various conversations going on around her. Soon, her revere was interrupted by Rachel entering the dining room, Finn hot on her trail. Biting her lip, Quinn glanced at Rachel as long as she dared, clutching the spoon so hard her finger tips turned white. Now that they were safe…she snorted. Rachel was with Finn, and that was that, she needed to stop thinking anything else was going to happen between them. She needed to move on.
"Finn," Rachel said calmly, "I am giving Mrs. Anderson time to rest and grieve. It is not as though there is anything else to do at the moment, I certainly cannot take my dance and voice classes, nor my many extracurricular act ivies. I suppose we could attempt glee club, but it seems heartless to do so with Mr. Schue, and most likely all our competition dead."
Finn frowned in that way that Rachel hated; he looked mildly constipated. "Look, Blaine can take the baby then. Rachel, you should be spending your time with…me," he said, trying to raise his eyebrows meaningfully when he said 'me,' and giving her his most seductive smile. She cringed inwardly; she loved it when he was sappy, cute and romantic, but his 'seductive' face was…not cute.
"Blaine," Rachel shifted Dahlia as she checked the bottle, then made her way from the kitchen to the dining room, "Was up with Dahlia far later then I was. I am happy to watch her Finn, we have time, we will certainly be able to find a moment alone at some point, there's no need to rush,"
"We're going to go out for supplies and stuff Rachel, it'll be dangerous. You don't know what could happen out there," He pointed out, sitting next to her grumpily.
"I believe we have all that we need for the moment, and there is no huge rush to go out there. It's quite possible those things will die out soon," Rachel said, remembering a man's words in the hotel room, concentrating on feeding Dahlia her bottle. She didn't quite believe that, but she was starting to get tired of Finn's whining and the pressure he was putting on her.
"Maybe. But we need to go out in a few days, we were talking about it. Get some games for the system in the living room. Plus I bet everyone can think of stuff they'd like to have that we could get. And it's not a bad idea to get more food just in case," Finn frowned again, "Rachel, I could die. I don't want to die without…" he leaned closer, "Without you knowing with you," he whispered.
"Finn Hudson, I will not be pressured! If you die because you don't have enough video games…How dare you use potential death to get into my pants," She spat at him, standing up. Glaring, she moved next to the free seat next to the Mack.
"Rachel," Finn whined.
Glaring at him harder, she said, as calmly as she could, "Finn, I am very upset with you right now. I do not wish to speak to you anymore."
"Geeze, you're impossible, talk to me when you feel like acting like a grown up," Finn rolled his eyes, and stomped off.
Rachel sighed, and double checked that the bottle was the correct temperature, started feeding Dahlia. The infant wiggled contently, her blue eyes staring at Rachel, in what Rachel hoped was happiness. When the baby was halfway done with the bottle, she set it down, and started spooning a mixture of formula and baby cereal into the baby's mouth, who gummed on it happily for a few bites, before Rachel switched back to the formula. Once the baby was done, she set the bottle down and just gazed at the baby, who started babbling. Rachel mouthed a few words at her, then looked to see if Blaine was in here yet to take the baby after his shower. He wasn't, so she contented herself with playing peek a boo for a while.
After a few minutes, Mack stopped the quite conversation she was having with Quinn, and leaned towards her, "Hey, you gonna burp that kid?"
Rachel froze, then feeling her face flush red, said, "I neglected to remember that was required, thank you for reminding me Mack." Feeling awkward and inadequate, she burped the wiggly child. A small bit of white fluid, landed on her shoulder. She was grossed out, a bit, but given the sights and smells of the last few days, she merely sighed. Dahlia gazed at her, smiling. Rachel rummaged around the diaper bag she was wearing, and handed her a jangly toy, and used her napkin and a bit of water to clean up the spit up.
"So what, you the babysitter or something now?" Mack said, pushing her empty coffee cup away.
"I am merely giving Mrs. Anderson a chance to rest and mourn. She was used to having a nanny, this cannot be easy for her. Blaine will be taking over Dahlia's care shortly," Rachel replied a little more defensive then she had wanted to sound, but after Finn's whining she was in no mood to discuss this.
Mack raised her eyebrows at Rachel, then shrugged, "That's nice of you, I guess. We're," she nodded at Quinn, "Gonna go out for a run, check out the property in a few minutes, wanna come?"
Rachel thought carefully for a moment, then shook her head, "Not this time, thank you Mack. After Blaine takes over Dahlia's care, I would like to properly unpack. And I should speak to Finn," she finished with a sigh.
Mack snorted, "If you can get him away from the tv in the living room. They're in there acting like they haven't seen a tv in years."
"Well," Rachel said delicately, "It has been a ve-"
Mack held up her hand, "Save it Berry. You don't have to justify everything for everyone, it's okay."
Rachel flushed again, "I-" She stopped when Blaine came in and veered towards her and Dahlia, "Oh hello Blaine. Mack perhaps we can finish this conversation later?"
Mack raised her eyebrows at her, "No need."
Rachel watched Mack, and Quinn holding Beth leaving the dining room, not quite able to shake the feeling that she'd be judged and found wanting.
Quinn panted, and leaned up against a tree. They'd ran for a while; then Mack had perched on the grass and watched Quinn run around the property for a little while longer after that.
Her blood was pumping, she was super sweaty, and it was starting to drizzle rain on them.
Quinn felt amazing, so alive. She loved running. She even felt more relaxed.
"Come on Q, let's go inside," Mack said, looking at the grey cloud covered sky.
Quinn wiped her sweaty brow, and nodded.
They walked into the house together, and started going upstairs. Quinn spared a glance for Beth and Puck, still in the living room. Puck had the toddler (who looked really grumpy, even while she slept, but Quinn was starting to think that was her default facial expression,) in the baby backpack while he played video games.
Quinn stopped.
She rushed forward to stand in front of the tv.
"Is that beer," Quinn hissed, putting her hands on her hips.
Puck picked up the bottle of beer, and took a swig off of it. "Yup. Stressful few days, we need to unwind." Puck shrugged. Angry, Quinn looked at Ms. Pillsbury, who was still busy on the other couch sorting through the suit cases and duffle bags. Feeling Quinn's eyes on her, Ms. Pillsbury looked up, saw the beer in Finn, Jacob and Puck's hands, but besides pursing her lips, she does nothing but resume her sorting.
Gritting her teeth, Quinn glared at Puck, "You can unwind after you aren't taking care of Beth. No beer while your with her Puck!"
"Cool it Baby Momma, " Puck gave her a lazy grin, and she can tell that he's had more than just that one beer by the glaze on his eyes, "You fed Beth, she's changed, she played for a while, and now she's napping on Daddy's chest. She's cool. We're cool, so don't be a bitch okay?"
Quinn felt herself practically vibrating with anger, and she stepped forward, only to be stopped by Mack.
Mack glared at Puck, "No more drinking when your with Beth. Quinn'll come get Beth in half an hour."
Puck laughed, "We'll see. And hey, Mack, you wanna start repopulating the world with me, you let me know okay? I bet we'd make some pretty babies."
Mack laughed bitterly at him, "Not even if you were the last dude alive. Come on Q," she pulled Quinn away before any of the boys could say anything.
They're in the hallway before Quinn rips herself away from Mack's grasp, "What the hell Mack?"
Mack cocked her head to the side, "You need time to shower, maybe unpack without Beth. She's taking a nap, and you'll get your kid before he's too drunk. It's been a fucked up couple of days, we all need some…" She shuffled, and shrugged, "Time, I guess."
Angry, but knowing that Mack was probably right, Quinn turned on her heel towards the bathroom.
Quinn pulled the trash bag full of Beth's things through the house. She glared at Puck as she passed the living room, who was definitely drinking way too much for her to be comfortable for him to be taking care of her daughter. She barely restrained herself from saying something to him, on the basis that it'd be easier to unpack and set up Beth's things without her. Gritting her teeth, she lugged the bag up the stairs, relieved when she finally got to her room.
Quickly, mechanically, she unpacked the fold up travel play pen, and set it up in a corner of the room, taking a few frustrating minutes to figure out how it worked. She added a set of sheets, blankets, a few soft toys, some and several hard books to it, then took out the top of it that had a sleeping area, leaving just the play area. The rest of Beth's things were put neatly in the drawer in the dresser they'd agreed was Beth's, or stacked neatly on top of the dresser, or simply left in the grocery tote bags and shoved under the bed along with Beth's suitcase still full of clothing and other odds and ends Shelby had packed.
Swiftly, she searched her mind for anything that she should do now, before she collected her daughter from Puck.
Nothing.
So she stomped downstairs and gathered up the toddler who had by now woken up and was playing with the boy's empty beer bottles.
Ignoring Beth's cries of anger at being picked up, or taken away from the bottles, Quinn brought her into their room, and set her in the playpen. Beth frowned for a few moments more, but then started playing with the toys. Quinn sat on their bed staring at the wall for a few minutes, before remembering they still needed new sheets and blankets. Groaning, she stood up and went to find new sheets and blankets, leaving the door open behind her so she could hear if Beth had a problem.
Yawning, Quinn spooned food into Beth's mouth, then to herself.
Terri had taken it upon herself to make dinner, and while Quinn was grateful (Brittany had been doing most of the cooking for their room, everyone had broken up into mini tribes when it came to food,) she had a suspicion that Terri had only done it to get out of cleaning the kitchen, which was a total mess.
Quinn wondered why Terri had bothered, when it was likely that Ms. Pillsbury was going to clean it anyway, but whatever.
Now that the danger of zombies was practically gone, they were safe, Quinn was a little bored. Everyone was. Maybe it wasn't boredom, maybe it was the antsy feeling of not knowing what was going to happen next. Whatever.
Finn, Puck and Jacob had spent most of the day being useless, playing video games, and drinking. Not that anyone else had a claim on being useful, (in fact Quinn was pretty sure the only one who had done anything remotely helpful besides cooking was Ms. Pillsbury,) but no one else was downing the sole twenty four pack of beer on the property like it was water and they were dehydrated. Sam had a single beer with them, and so had Santana, so it wasn't like they'd drank the whole pack by themselves (and she was sure it hadn't been full in the first place.) But still.
Puck, looking a lot more sober then he had all day in the moments Quinn would glare at him as she walked past the living room, stood up towards the end of the meal.
"We're outta beer," He grinned at them, "So it's time to leave the cabin, and go check out a town. Harkerville's too small, so we're gonna go a few hours past that to Athena. Found some note pads in the office, so everyone write down anything you want and the team that heads out will do their best. Put the crap you absolutely need to have at the top of your list in case we can't get anything," he looked at Kurt, "Be specific."
"Who's going out," asked Mack.
Puck shrugged, "Me, Finn, whoever else wants to. Gotta leave people here to take care of the kids, besides Terri and Blossom," he looked briefly up at the ceiling, where Mrs. Anderson was in bed. She hadn't left the bed all day, leaving Rachel and Blaine to take care of her daughter. In fact, Quinn was pretty sure Mrs. Anderson hadn't even held her daughter since they got here. "No injured people, " he added with a smirk at Santana, who glowered at him.
"When?" Asked Rachel, with a concerned look at Finn that made Quinn's insides twist.
"Day after tomorrow. Early. Don't expect to be back for, I dunno, a few days," Puck shrugged.
"I'm going," Sam said with a frown, looking at his siblings.
"So am I," Mack said with a lazy smile.
"I am too," Quinn found herself saying without realizing it. She didn't want to stay here and watch Rachel worry about Finn. And yeah, Beth was screaming for Shelby so often Quinn already needed a break, and another day? She'd definitely need a break from her daughter whining or screaming for Shelby. Eventually, Beth would realize Quinn was her mama, but until then, every time she asked for Shelby was like a little arrow to Quinn's heart.
Santana glared, and with a snarl said, "I'm going," defiantly.
Mack snorted, "Bitch you can barely climb in bed, you aren't going and you know it. Don't be difficult, Me n' Q will get whatever you guys need. You can watch the kids and wait for us."
Santana glared harder, "Forget Xander, you're Dawn."
"Dawn?" Mack raised her eyebrows, and smirked at Santana, "I'm not the one staying here, while the rest of us go out into the big bad world, am I?"
Santana glowered at Mack, prompting Brittany to put an arm around her, and snuggle up against her.
"Anyway," Puck said carefully, and from under the table picked up a bottle of whiskey, and shook it towards those seated at the table, "We all take a shot. We're…" he looked at the wall, swallowed heavily, then looked at the group, "We're alive, and we're gonna be okay. Even if this is the last bit of booze in the house."
No one laughed as Jacob Ben Israel started putting cups in front of everyone, hesitating at Sarah and Kyle, before Puck nodded and shrugged, respectively. For a moment, Quinn wanted to say something, but decided to be silent; Sarah was his sister, and it probably wouldn't hurt her to have a small sip.
Jacob withered at Terri's pointed look down at her heavily pregnant stomach, so he skipped her. Then Puck followed behind, putting a generous shoot in each cup, except his sister's and the red haired boy's, they only got the tiniest sip. Watching him, Quinn thought about the bottles of booze she'd liberated from her mom's stash, still out in her SUV. She could mention them, now…but decided against it. If Puck and the others wanted alcohol, they'd have to get it when they were out, Quinn wasn't going to just make it easy on them.
When he was done, and back at the table, he raised the bottle. Around her, everyone picked up their cup, mug, or glass, so did she.
"We'll be okay, despite…shit, somehow, we'll be okay now even though we've all lost people. We're safe," Puck said. He took the last gulp of whiskey in the bottle, and everyone followed suit. Quinn winced as the liquid went down her throat, making her feel warm and drowsy. A heavy fatigue settled on her; part boredom, part hurt, part that heavy weary emptiness she'd been carrying around with her all summer.
There was a moment of silence, with only coughing or muttered cursing about the whiskey heard.
Beth's cry of "Maaaaamaaaaa," and the start of a temper tantrum made Quinn sigh. Quickly, Quinn picked up Beth and ran up the stairs, depositing the sobbing, flailing toddler into her playpen, with only a yanked piece of hair to show for her troubles, and their dishes on the table. She figured Ms. Pillsbury would clean them up. As Beth continued to scream and cry, Quinn grit her teeth, then stepped out of the room into the hallway, closing the door almost all the way. She slid down the wall, and sat on the floor staring at the wall opposite of her.
Her daughter wanted Shelby.
Was she always going to want Shelby? Even when she was older, and her memories of Shelby faded away to nothing more than a fondness, an attraction to Rachel, just because she looked a lot like Shelby?
Was her daughter never going to call her Mom?
Stomach rolling, as she listened to the her baby cry for a woman that should have never been her mother, Quinn didn't hear Puck come up until he plopped on the floor next to her, lazily leaning against the wall.
"Gotta set of lungs on her, doesn't she?" He said, nudging the door closed with his foot. It was quieter with it closed, Quinn could admit, but she still gave him an annoyed look.
"I don't want you coming with us," he finally continued when it was clear Quinn wasn't going to say anything.
"It's not up to you," Quinn muttered, rolling her eyes.
"I know, but look. What if something happens? She'll be an orphan. She already lost Shelby, she can't lose the both of us too. There's gotta be like, a limit on how many parents a kid can lose," Puck looked at her, his hazel eyes serious.
"Nothing's going to happen to either of us. I'm going, Puck. You can't stop me," She finally said, glaring at him.
"I just…I just don't understand why you want to go. Like, how can you stand to be separated from her? With what happened at the library," Puck frowned, looking at the door where their daughter still cried.
"Why do you want to be separated from her?" Quinn grit out, even though her stomach was rolling with guilt. He was right, she shouldn't want to be away from Beth at all, but listening to Beth scream for Shelby made it easier. And that wasn't the only reason, even if that was all she came up with when she first said she was going. She needed some books that she was too ashamed to put on any list, even if it was just privately handed to Mack. Mostly she wasn't going to let Mack go out there with just Puck and Finn to watch her back.
"Are you kidding me? It's killing me knowing that I'll be away from her, from our baby girl. We're all she's got," Puck leaned a little closer to Quinn, and she stiffened up, "But I'd feel better going out there, if I knew you were safe here…Quinn…"
"Puck…" She wanted to shout that he wasn't exactly going to win any father of the year awards…of course, she wasn't really winning any mother of the year awards, either. But still, Puck had easily spent more time puking then he had with an awake Beth, but Puck trying to seduce her, or whatever exactly he thought he was doing made her tongue tied and frozen.
He put an arm around her, and leaned down and whispered into her ear, "I'm going to prove to you that I'm a good man, Quinn Fabray. A provider, a protector, a great father…the type of man you'd wanna be with at the end of the world. And I'm all in agreement with that feminist stuff, so if you really wanna go with us, fine, even if the thought is giving me grey hairs."
"I didn't need your permission," She choked out, still frozen.
"I know," He gave her a lazy grin, "I'll give her a bath and get her ready for bed. I'll read to her, okay? And I'll give keep her tomorrow from lunch to bedtime, too?"
She raised an eye brow and looked skeptically at him, "Like I said, I'm aiming for being a great father. I want you to make a list of anything she'll need for the next," he shrugged, "I dunno, year or three? So we know what to get. List's make it easier, rule of shopping. " At her confused look, he lowered his voice to an almost whisper, "If everyone's staying at home or evacuating, shit's going to get looted fast, especially if the military's got who knows how many people to look after. The people that aren't dinner are gonna grab everything. So we're gonna grab everything we need on this trip. And we'll have to start planning a giant ass garden, and stuff too, like hopefully we can find some chickens, goats, rabbits. Be all self sufficient and shit."
"Why not cows and horses?" She found her voice, finally managed to say something, and it was cows and horses.
Another lazy grin, as if he knew what was swirling in her mind, "Goats are way easier, eat everything and you can still milk 'em. Horses…they'll be good when the gas goes bad, maybe. But they're delicate as hell. Donkey's or mules would be better. Sheep, too. Milk and meat and wool." He gazed off towards a small painting at the end of the hall, of a farm. She could only he was imaging himself tending to a flock of sheep, Quinn off to the side in one of those old fashioned pioneer dresses, holding Beth.
Mentally, she rolled her eyes. If this was Puck's daydream, she'd be heavily pregnant, holding a toddler while an older Beth played with a little mohawked boy a few years younger than her.
She took a deep breath, and pictured how scared, how pissed off, how unhappy she'd be with the scenario; doubly so because no doubt, Rachel would be doing the same thing with Finn, so she'd spend half the time making moon eyes at Rachel and the other half contemplating throwing herself into a hoard of zombies.
She wanted to throw up.
Dimly, she realized Puck had kept talking, and was pulling her closer to him.
She thought of the toddler still screaming for a woman Quinn had murdered.
The thought stopped her short. She had killed a woman in cold blood, but she couldn't find the words to tell a teenage boy they weren't going to be together.
Feeling a little strength at the realization, even if the urge to throw up was made stronger by the memory of what she had done to Shelby, she pulled away from Puck, and stood up.
She looked down at him with sadness. Things would be so much easier if she was in love with him. If she had only listened to him when he wanted to keep Beth.
Before she could open her mouth and say anything, Puck stood up. Gently, he said, "I know, I know, you don't believe me. I'm a good man, you won't regret giving me a chance. I'll prove it to you Quinn, I will. I swear." He looked at her so hopeful, so gently, before nodded at the door, "Sounds like she's ready for her bath, musta tired herself out. Think I'll read to her first. Night Quinn."
Once he was in her room, swiftly she turned around, and ran towards the bathroom.
She barely made it to the toilet before she threw up.
"It's stupid as hell for both of them leave," Santana rolled her eyes, "I don't want to be stuck with the lizard baby if they don't come back."
"Who says you'll be stuck with her?" Mack muttered from where she was frowning at her phone. Santana didn't know why the other girl was constantly playing Angry Birds, or whatever it was she was doing all the time on her phone. It wasn't like they had any cell service up here, at least that's what Santana assumed. She hadn't bothered grabbing her phone out of her car.
Anyone they had to call was probably dead anyway.
"Beth should go to Ms. Pillsbury. Maybe taking care of a toddler would make her happy again," Brittany piped quietly up from where she was knitting Santana's baseball bat a strap. She'd found the yarn and needles from one of the piles of stuff Ms. Pillsbury had sorted out of the suitcases and bags. Felt a little weird to Santana that they were just calling dibs on dead people's things, but whatever. It wasn't like any of they were going to use it. At that thought, she wrapped her Abuela's shawl around her tighter, caressing the fringe before replying to both girls.
"I repeat, it's freaking stupid." Sullenly, she looked out of the mesh that separated them on the covered porch from the outside. It was great at keeping bugs out, but she was pretty sure a couple of zombies would be able to pull it down pretty easily. Heck, a cat probably could. If she was being honest with herself…now that they were safe, finally, she didn't want anyone leaving. There was enough food to last a while, they could garden and crap.
Well, she silently amended, Jacob Ben Israel could be sent out to get stuff they needed. She didn't give a crap about him. But everyone, even Mr. Schue's pregnant ex wife that Santana hadn't previously thought about since except for like four minutes sophomore year, everyone else could just stay at the cabin where it was safe.
Mack set her phone down on the end table next to the chair she was perched in, and yawned, then said, "I think they'll be fine. We'll be fine. I think your problem, Santana, is that you're pissed you can't go with us 'cause of your knee. Don't worry, I'll be sure to grab everything on your lists."
Yeah, that irritated her too.
"Shut up Mack. My knee wouldn't be half so bad if I hadn't had to save your fat ass," Santana snapped.
Mack snorted, "I think you're ready for some sleep Santana. Want me to get you some ice for your knee?"
Grumpily, Santana said, "Yes."
"Yes, please," Mack sing-songed as she left the porch.
Santana tentatively stretched, first her good leg, then her bad leg, wincing at the pain from her knee.
Yeah, there was no way she was going anywhere for a while. She sighed.
"I'm glad you're not going," Brittany said quietly, not looking up from her knitting, "You're worried about Puck and Quinn and Sam and Mack, I know. Even Finn. But I'm glad you're staying here, with me, where's it's safe. I mean," Finally Brittany set down her needles and looked at Santana. Santana was shocked to see actual tears in Brittany's eyes, "We're going to die, but there's no reason to make it easier by leaving the cabin and going around in an actual city."
Wincing again, Santana stood up, and limped the couple of feet to Brittany, and leaned against the wall next to her, "We're not gonna die Britts. We-"
"We are. Eventually. Maybe some of us will die of old age, but I doubt it," Brittany interrupted her, briefly setting down her knitting to wipe her eyes before resuming.
Santana listened to the click clack of Brittany's needles, as she tried to figure out what to say.
Brittany wasn't okay. Hell, none of them were probably. Finally, Santana settled on a tentative, "Do you think Lord Tubbington told his gang where we are?"
Brittany paused her knitting, quietly she said, "He doesn't smoke, he doesn't read my diary, he's not in a gang, he's just…he's just a cat."
Santana felt like sobbing, "I've seen him do some uncat like stuff Britts. He's not…he's not just a cat."
Brittany resumed knitting, "He's really really well trained."
"Brits…"
"I don't wanna talk about that stuff anymore Santana. There's no point. You want me and Mack to help you to our room?"
"I…yeah."
Santana Lopez was at a loss for words. Unicorns were one thing, but not believing in Lord Tubbington? All she could do was stare at Brittany, a mixture of sadness, and despair going through her.
Her entire family. And now…now all the things that made Brittany, Brittany?
She hoped whoever caused this; whatever scientist got infected with whatever top secret crap he was working on, brought it home, ate his family, that caused all this whoever they were, she hoped he was in hell.
Like the rest of them.
Quinn had found the courage to enter her bedroom eventually. For a moment, she watched Puck standing over the portable travel pen. Puck had put the cot addition back on, and Beth was sleeping.
With a frown on her face, naturally.
He reached down and gently stroked a finger along her cheek. She wished things were easier; that she could love him, that she'd never given their baby up.
She sighed.
"Hey," he said softly looking at her.
Unbidden, she stepped lightly next to him. Together, they looked at their daughter.
"I want so much for her, she deserves so much," Puck muttered. Mutely, Quinn nodded. There was so much Beth wasn't going to get to experience now, even if the zombies rotted away in a year or whatever, there'd still be so many people dead things wouldn't go back to normal for a long long time, if ever.
"I also want…I think it'd be nice to give her a middle name, you know? Louise. Beth Louise Shelby Fabray-Puckerman. Kinda a mouthful for such a little girl, but…" Puck whispered, not looking at Quinn.
There was no way Beth was going to carry the memory of Shelby around. Once that day came that Beth forgot Shelby, Shelby was going to stay forgotten to Quinn's daughter forever.
Quinn would carry enough memories of Shelby for the both of them.
"Not…not Shelby," Quinn shook her head, "But I think Louise is a nice middle name."
Puck nodded, "Cool. Didn't think you'd go with Jackie Danielle, but Ma's name is a better choice anyway."
Quinn was grateful he didn't try to argue.
The silence started to stretch, and Puck shifted. Quinn had a sinking feeling that he was about to do something stupid, like kiss her, when the door opened to reveal Mack and Brittany helping Santana to their room.
"We interrupting something?" Mack asked with a grin.
"No, and keep it quiet, Beth's sleeping," Quinn replied in a harsh whisper.
Mack nodded, and gently guided Santana to the only chair in the room. Santana sat, and grumpily stared at Quinn with a scowl as she put held an ice pack on her knee.
Quinn raised a questioning eyebrow at her.
"Night," Mack whispered, before stepping lightly out of the room.
"I better go too," Puck said, his eyes lingering on Quinn as he followed Mack out the door.
"Are you and Puck getting back together?" Brittany asked quietly.
"No," Quinn replied curtly as she started to change into her pajamas, Brittany doing the same.
"Does he know that?" Santana rolled her eyes, shifting to get more comfortable in the chair. Santana was still in her pajamas so she just watched. And judged, too, Quinn was sure Santana could see every stretch mark from her spot on the chair.
"Maybe?" Quinn sighed, and finished pulling on her shirt quickly. She ran a brush through her mostly pink locks, and started the process of taking out and cleaning her contacts while Brittany started gathering things to give Tiffany a bath and get her ready for bed.
Santana rolled her eyes, "He's going to try to get in Mack's pants when you finally woman up and tell him no. Probably has already tried."
Quinn shrugged, "Probably."
She felt a headache coming on. She didn't want to think about Puck, or her daughter, or anything really. She yawned, and eyed her bed longingly.
"Should I send Sarah to our room when I get Tiffany," Brittany asked, filling the silence in the room. Tiffany had been playing with Sarah and the other kids most of the day, after she'd finally found the courage to leave her sister's side. She'd still constantly checked in on her older sister, and made sure they weren't more than a room or so away, but it was progress. Quinn was pretty sure kids bounced back quickly. "Or do you think Puck'll take care of her?"
Quinn shrugged again.
"Puck drank beer and played video games all day. He barely took care of Beth. I doubt he thought about Sarah at all," Santana said heatedly, "She's in our room, we'll take care of her. If Puck's got a problem with that, he can say something and step up."
Mack flopped on the floor, and pulled out her phone.
"Are you so addicted to Angry Birds you can't put your phone down for five minutes," Santana growled, "Are you going to have your nose in it while you guys are looting?"
Mack put her phone down, and gave Santana a level stare, "I'm texting. Shelia's stuck hiding in an apartment building with a bunch of people, and she's scared shitless."
"Oh," For once, Santana was quiet.
"I'll find my phone and text her tomorrow," Quinn finally said.
Mack nodded, "Think she'd like that. Ronnie too."
"Yeah, I…yeah I'll do that tomorrow," Quinn crawled into her bed, unable to stay awake anymore..
"Night," Mack said, nodding at them and swiftly leaving the room, texting quickly on her phone while she did.
Now that Quinn was in bed, she struggled to keep her eyes open as Brittany left to go get her sister and Sarah. She was aware that Santana was talking to her, but the words faded away as Quinn drifted into sleep.