Chapter Summary
Jefferson speaks to Eliza concerning his heart and Theodosia and Philip spend the night together.
The dining room went silent.
Mr Schuyler stood up and warmly greeted Mr Jefferson before seating him beside him at the table.
Eliza was thinking of any excuse to leave the room. But she could never let Jefferson see her so easily defeated.
As the servants came out and began serving the soup, separate conversations broke off. Eliza was desperately trying to avoid being questioned by Jefferson, but her efforts failed.
"You looked rather startled Eliza when I came in the room" commented Jefferson.
"Yes, well, I had no indication that you would be joining us" she replied.
"I would have mentioned it when we last met, but unfortunately you made it very clear that I was the enemy," said Jefferson.
"My behaviour towards you was just Sir, you had made a fool of me in the past, I wasn't going to allow you the pleasure of causing me embarrassment a second time" replied Eliza.
Jefferson smiled, before engaging in conversation with Mr Schuyler, Eliza could tell he was planning something.
At the other end of the table, Philip was fuming. He still despised Jefferson for his behaviour towards his mother, something he was not easily going to forgive. He could not understand why his grandfather would have invited him.
"It is very kind of you to join us Mr Jefferson" called Mrs Schuyler.
"It was no problem Madam, in truth I was much desiring a break from your daughter's rather egotistical husband" replied Jefferson, slowly beginning to eat his soup.
Eliza scoffed. Her reaction did not go unnoticed.
"Something amusing you my dear?" asked Mrs Schuyler.
"Yes Mama, it's just I never believed that Mr Jefferson would be able to use the word egotistical unless he was describing himself and his own political agenda"
Angie let out a shocked laugh, which she quickly silenced with her napkin and with a little help from her Aunt.
"Eliza!" exclaimed Mr Schuyler, "that was very impertinent of you, you must apologise to Mr Jefferson!"
Eliza looked at Jefferson, whose expression was not one of anger but rather of someone quite impressed.
"It's quite alright Mr Schuyler" assured Jefferson, "I often see this trait in women, they become very brave when their husbands are absent"
Eliza quickly looked away, she did not like the way he sounded as he said, "husbands are absent".
Nor did she feel comfortable as she saw him continually glance down at her chest. Normally she adored the dress she was wearing, even more so because Alexander had given it to her. But she felt she might as well have been fully exposed the way Jefferson kept staring at her.
"Theodosia" smiled Angelica, desperately trying to change the subject, "are you managing to find your way around?"
Theodosia looked up, not used to be talked to during dinner. At home, her father preferred silence whilst at the dinner table.
"Oh yes" she stammered, "Angie and Philip have been kind enough to show me around"
"Well you can have a proper tour tomorrow, if the weather is fine" commented Angie, "I can't wait to show you the gardens"
"My grandson has been telling me of your many talents Miss Theodosia" commented Mr Schuyler.
Theodosia smiled, "I fear that your grandson may have over exaggerated my accomplishments"
"Not at all," said Philip.
Theodosia glanced over at him, with a little smile on her face.
"Philip was telling me that you speak Greek, that correct?" asked Mr Schuyler.
"Greek?" exclaimed Jefferson, joining the conversation, "why on earth would you father make you learn Greek?"
Theodosia, rather taken aback, took a few seconds to compose herself before she replied, "Papa didn't make me, I wanted to learn it"
"Most ladies prefer to learn French, why Greek?" pushed Jefferson, quite aware Theodosia was uncomfortable.
"I already speak French" replied Theodosia.
"You are quite the linguist" chuckled Jefferson sarcastically.
"My dear, I ask the same as Mr Jefferson" smiled Angelica, "why Greek?"
Theodosia looked up and smiled, "I have a great interest in the politics of the ancient world, I wanted to understand the manuscripts and papers, so I learnt Greek"
"You are interested in politics?" inquired Mr Schuyler.
"Yes Sir, I enjoy seeing how our own version of democracy has developed since the early Greek periods" replied Theodosia.
"You are quite the educated young lady" exclaimed Mrs Schuler, "tell me, do you practice any of the more feminine accomplishments?"
"Yes Madam" replied Theodosia, "I dance, I draw and play the pianoforte"
"My my what a truly accomplished young lady you are" praised Mrs Schuyler, "you must play for us after dinner, we have a fine pianoforte in the drawing room, it's the one our children learnt on"
"I would be honoured Madam" replied Theodosia.
"Can I play a duet with you?" asked Angie hopefully.
"Of course" replied Theodosia, "I would love some help"
The rest of the dinner was filled with polite conversation, with the occasional harsh word from Eliza, in an attempt to keep her youngest sons under control.
As dinner was ending, Eliza suddenly realised that her father was going to call everyone to silence, meaning she would have to tell her wonderful news in front of Jefferson, who would no doubt make unsavoury comments to Alexander.
As she suspected Mr Schuyler tapped his glass and the dinner came to an end.
"Now once we get into the drawing room, our Eliza has something to tell us"
Eliza smiled at the various murmurs, watching as Jefferson eyed her curiously.
"Anna" called Mrs Schuyler.
In an instance, a young girl appeared.
"Ah Anna, would you escort my four grandsons up to bed tonight, giving their mother a rest?"
"Oh Mama, you don't have to" protested Eliza.
"Nonsense my dear, you look tired, and these boys are half asleep already" replied Mrs Schuyler.
"But Mama always puts us to bed" pipped up little William.
"Now sweetheart, I will come and give you a kiss when I come up to bed, like I always do" hushed Eliza, gently running her hand over her son's head.
"But Mama" whined William.
"Hush now, we do not whine at the dinner table" hushed Eliza, "now Alexander, follow Anna and help her please, with your brothers"
"Yes Mama," said Alexander, hopping down off his chair.
Eliza smiled as her sons filled out of the dining room, she could, even at their young age see so much of their father in them.
"Shall we go through?" proclaimed Mr Schuyler.
With nods of agreement, the whole party quickly moved through to the drawing room, with everyone spilling off into various directions. Theodosia and Angie headed for the piano, Philip headed for his favourite chair, helping his grandmother get seated, Mr Schuyler and Jefferson headed for the whiskey, placed on the nearest table. Eliza stood by the fireplace, partly wishing Alexander was beside her. Luckily Angelica was perfectly willing to be his substitute.
"Well, come Eliza" urged Mrs Schuyler, "we are all on eggshells! tell us!"
Eliza took a deep breath, "well as you all know, I would have liked to have had Alexander with my tonight as I told you my news, but he insisted that despite his absence I was to very happily inform you all, that I am with child again"
Mrs Schuyler gasped before rising to her feet in elation, "oh praise the Lord!"
"Oh my Eliza!" she cried, rushing forward to embrace her.
"Heavens Mama" chuckled Eliza, "don't crush me"
I am so happy for you my darling!" exclaimed Mrs Schuyler, "Come, Philip, congratulate your daughter!" she urged.
Mr Schuyler chuckled as he rose from his chair, "my sweet girl, congratulations" he whispered, embracing her.
"Thank you Papa" she smiled.
Philip and Angie, were still in a state of shock when their grandmother beckoned them over. Theodosia was beaming, she loved babies.
"Congratulations Mama, that's wonderful" smiled Philip, kissing and embracing his mother.
"Thank you my darling" she replied, "you will be a big brother again!"
"Don't remind me" he chuckled.
"Oh Mama, please say it's going to a girl!" exclaimed Angie, "I so long for a baby sister!"
"I can make those decisions Angie, you will have to wait and see" hushed Eliza.
"Congratulations Miss Eliza" smiled Theodosia.
"Thank you my darling" replied Eliza, gently embracing her.
"Angelica, aren't you going to congratulate your sister?" asked Mrs Schuyler.
"I already knew Mama" replied Angelica, "she has had her thanks from me"
Eliza saw Jefferson rise to his feet and was quick to usher Theodosia and Angie back over to the piano, "come, girls, show me what duet you will play"
Angelica stepped in behind her, to ensure that Jefferson couldn't talk to her. She knew about his recent behaviour and was determined to keep him away from Eliza, now especially as Alexander was not here.
Jefferson saw this and smirked, Eliza was going to play a difficult game after all.
"Do you know this one?" asked Theodosia, flipping through the wad of music.
Angie squinted at the music, "no I only know the really easy ones"
"What about this one?" asked Theodosia, pulling a score out of the pile.
Angie shook her head, "I'm afraid I have not learnt that one yet"
"Well, you pick and I'll play" smiled Theodosia, passing the huge stack of scores over.
Angie flipped through until she found one she knew.
"Ahah!" she exclaimed, "I know this one"
Theodosia looked at the title, 'A Summer Meadow'.
Without wanting to upset her friend, she did not comment on the scores simplicity, nor did she mention that she had perfected that song in a week when she was nine.
Nevertheless, Theodosia smiled and agreed.
"Come along girls, I want to hear music" called Mrs Schuyler, "for music is my delight"
"Shall I lead or do you want to?" asked Angie.
"It's your choice, Angie, I will play the melody, you lead" smiled Theodosia.
Tentatively Angie began to play the simple tune and Theodosia quickly picked up on any missed notes. The piece was rather repetitive and Theodosia could play the melody without looking at the score.
Philip looked over at Theodosia. He smirked at her, trying to distract her. She would smirk back, she even stuck out her tongue when the adults turned away.
They played through the piece once and Angie, with several mistakes in almost every bar, sighed at the end.
"All you need is practice Angie" assured Theodosia.
Angie nodded, "I'm not very good at practising"
"Let's hear Theodosia play Angie," asked Mrs Schuyler.
"Okay" replied Angie, hopping off the piano stool.
Theodosia felt bad, the last thing she wanted was to upset Angie, as she would soon see how more advanced she was.
Theodosia skimmed through the music and found one of her newest favourites, Schubert's Swan Song.
"No one has played that before" exclaimed Angie, "not even Mama"
"Which one?" inquired Eliza.
"Schubert's Swan Song" replied Angie.
"Ah it's divine, I heard it in London" smiled Angelica.
"Play away my dear" called Mrs Schuyler.
"Philip would you come and turn the pages for me?" asked Theodosia.
"Oh please Philip, I am useless at helping anyone with pages" urged Angie.
"May I Mama?" he asked, not wanting to anger anyone.
"Of course my darling" smiled Eliza.
Philip happily pushed himself off his chair and walked to the piano.
"Ready?" he whispered.
"Are you?" she smirked.
Philip chuckled and Theodosia began to play.
He knew that she played the piano, but it dawned on him that he had never heard her play. She was beautiful.
Theodosia's eyes ran over the music as her fingers danced effortlessly over the ivory.
Everyone was spellbound.
Philip managed to keep up with the pages, they almost seemed destined to play together.
Theodosia gently brought the piece to a close, finishing softly and receiving a wave of applause.
"That was magnificent Theodosia" praised Mrs Schuyler, "I must learn that piece for myself"
"Thank you kindly Madam" smiled Theodosia, not used to receiving such praise.
"I never knew you could play so well" exclaimed Angie, "and here I am asking to play a duet with you, I'm positively terrible compared to you!"
"Nonsense Angie, you just need more practice" hushed Theodosia, "and I am three years older"
"Philip, would you play for us?" asked Mrs Schuyler.
"Oh- no, you don't want to hear me" stammered Philip.
"Don't be ridiculous, you play best out of all of us" exclaimed Eliza.
"Play away maestro" whispered Theodosia teasingly, as she slipped off the piano stool.
Philip sat down and stretched out his hands, cracking his knuckles as he went. It had been quite a while since he played the piano, his studies and Theodosia had come before practice.
He did not need sheet music, he knew several songs by heart. His mother had seen to that.
As his mother was so adamant that he was to play, he chose her favourite song. It was one his father had composed years ago, it was very simple as his father was no prodigy on any instrument, but she adored it all the same.
It was called Moonlight.
As his hands gently glided up the opening scale, and he saw his mother's eyes light up and a bright smile appear on her face.
He remembered the simple melody and moved his head along with the music, allowing himself to be lost in the chords.
Theodosia sat beside Angie, she looked to her friend who seemed rather unfazed by the beauty of her brother's playing, Theodosia guessed it must be due to the fact that Angie had grown up, to the sounds of her big brother on the piano.
Nevertheless, Theodosia was star struck, she knew that Philip played the piano, an unusual trait for a man of his standing, but he hadn't just learnt the piano, he had perfected it.
As Philip brought the piece to a close, he received a hearty applause.
"Beautiful as always" smiled Mrs Schuyler, "would you not say so, Mr Jefferson"
"Yes, quite" replied Jefferson, taking a sip of his whiskey.
"You didn't tell me you were that good" mused Theodosia, reaching to collect her music.
"We both are full of surprises" whispered Philip, causing Theodosia's cheeks to turn a light shade of red.
"I think it time that we retire would you not say so my dear?" called Mr Schuyler.
"Yes, I agree, come children" replied Mrs Schuyler.
Eliza gathered them up and planned to retire herself, but her heart fell as she heard her father say, "Mr Jefferson, it is far too late for you return to town, you must stay the night with us"
"With all due respect Papa, where would Mr Jefferson sleep?" asked Angelica quickly.
"We have plenty of spare bedrooms Angelica" exclaimed Mrs Schuyler, "you will be of no trouble to us at all Mr Jefferson"
"You are very kind Ma'am" replied Jefferson, throwing his watchful gaze towards the door, trying to pinpoint Eliza's reaction.
"Come my darlings" urged Eliza, swiftly followed by Angelica.
"Stay calm Eliza, I will make sure he is in the farthest room away from you" whispered Angelica, before hurrying back into the drawing room.
Jefferson sat on a chair, his restless eyes scanning down the pages of a book.
His mind fixed on Eliza.
His gaze snapped up as he heard the servant enter the room, carrying his requested objects.
"Place them there" ordered Jefferson, his eyes returning to his book.
The young girl did as he asked, before looking at him, almost waiting for a further request.
Jefferson sighed, "You may leave"
"Are you comfortable Sir?" asked the young girl.
Jefferson smiled, "quite, thank you"
"Is there anything else I can do for you?" she asked.
"Ah, now that depends" mused Jefferson, snapping his book shut, "first, you must rephrase your question"
"Sir?"
"You should have asked me, what you are willing to do?" replied Jefferson, rising from his chair.
"Forgive me, Sir, I don't understand your meaning?" stammered the young servant.
Jefferson pulled a paper note out of his pocket and held it in front of the servants face.
Her eyes widened as she saw it was money.
"Can you help me or not?" asked Jefferson.
"What do you want me to do?" she stammered.
"Show me where Eliza is sleeping"
"Sir- I can't" she gasped.
"Can't or won't?" replied Jefferson.
She stalled, "if they saw me, I would be thrown out Sir"
"And what if I could guarantee your safety?" said Jefferson, pulling another bank note out of his pocket.
"Mr Jefferson Sir" she stammered.
"You have a name?" he asked.
"Martha Sir"
"Do you have family Martha, down south I presume?" pressed Jefferson.
"Yes, Sir, nearly all my wages go to my family in South Carolina" replied Martha.
"This would help your family a great deal wouldn't it?" asked Jefferson, rubbing the bank notes together.
"It would Sir yes, that's two months wages" replied Martha.
"Well then?"
"Sir?"
"Can you take me or not?" he asked firmly.
She took a deep breath, "follow me"
Eliza sat at her desk, quietly writing to Alexander.
Normally she would have gone to bed, but Angie and Theodosia had been allowed to spend some time together before they were to retire.
Eliza smiled as she finished the letter, it was reasonably short, there was not much to write in any case. She did inform him of Jefferson's unexpected arrival and warned him of the inevitable lies that would no doubt leave Jefferson's lips, once he had returned.
Sealing the letter, she placed it next to her mirror and began taking off her jewellery.
As she was leant over, fiddling with the necklace clasp, she heard the door handle shift.
"Ah Martha, would you help me with this please?" she called, her eyes still covered by her curly hair.
Eliza heard no response but soon felt the clasp release.
She looked up into the mirror, "Thank you-"
Staring back at her was her own reflection and the face of Thomas Jefferson.
She gasped in shock and spun around, pushing off the chair and rushing to a reasonable distance.
"What are you-" she stammered, quickly pulling her dressing gown closed, "what are you doing here?"
"Here to see you" replied Jefferson, clearly quite amused by her startled reaction.
"Well, I'm afraid you have had a wasted journey, get out" ordered Eliza.
"I just want to talk Eliza" hushed Jefferson.
"And I just want you to get out of my room" spat Eliza.
"Eliza I come in peace," said Jefferson softly.
Eliza did not like this quiet Jefferson if anything she preferred him to be cynical. These new emotions, she feared, made predicting his behaviour impossible.
"You should not be here at all, in peace or otherwise, I am a married woman, happily and faithfully married woman, now get out before I force you" ordered Eliza.
"I want five minutes, that it all," he asked.
"I said get out" she repeated.
"Five minutes Eliza, please," he asked again, taking a step towards her.
She moved backwards, "get out" she ordered, her voice almost breaking.
"Eliza please," he asked passionately.
"Will you leave me alone if I give you time?" she asked.
"Of course" he replied.
"Well then, what do want?" she asked tearfully.
"I wanted to say that I am thinking of marrying again," he said.
"Why does that concern me?" she asked.
"Because I have someone in mind, a great lady whom I admire, someone you know" he replied.
"If you talking about my daughter Angelica, Sir, you are not permitted to even speak to her," said Eliza angrily.
"I am not talking about your daughter, I agree she does have your beauty, but she is too much like her father, rash and opinionated" replied Jefferson.
"Mr Jefferson" began Eliza, "is it your sole intention to use your remaining minutes to insult every one of my children?"
"No, it is not" replied Jefferson coolly.
"Then what is it?" she asked angrily.
"I wish you ask you a question of a very personal nature," said Jefferson.
Eliza stalled as she saw him lower himself to one knee. She couldn't speak for shock.
"Would you Eliza, would you marry me?" he asked, pulling a large ring from his pocket.
She shook with fear as well as passionate anger, "Have you taken leave of your senses?"
"Answer me" ordered Jefferson, completely unphased.
"I am already married and with child Sir" spat Eliza, "your offer is misplaced and quite frankly disgusting"
"That is not an answer" replied Jefferson.
Eliza gasped at his persistence, "I will never marry you, my answer is no"
Jefferson's eyes darkened, "that is not an answer that I am willing to accept"
"It is the only answer, no amount of pleading, threats or persistence will change it" replied Eliza.
"Then I will wait," he said, rising back off the floor, towering over her.
"Til what?"
"Until you change your mind" he replied.
"That will never happen" she spat.
"Them I will never stop waiting, asking or watching, I will wait until the day I die if necessary or Alexander's" replied Jefferson coldly.
"You are going to try and lure him into a politically motivated duel, well he doesn't duel, not now, not ever" hissed Eliza.
"We shall see" replied Jefferson.
"Why are you doing this?" she asked tearfully, "why?"
"You know very well why I love you" he replied trying to wrap his arm around her.
She pushed him away, "stop it, why are you doing this now, why now?"
"As I said, my love for you had only grown" he replied.
"All those years you were in France, not once did you write to me, or even give me the slightest inclination of the depth of your affection" she spat.
"That is because I left a young girl behind and returned to find a woman in her place," he said, with almost passion in his voice.
Her eyes shot to his.
"You have grown Eliza, in more ways the one," he said stepping towards her.
She backed away, "stop it" she whispered.
"You are more desirable to me than ever before, I can not express how much I long, how much I ache for you" he exclaimed, pushing her against the wall.
"Let go of me" she cried.
"Let me have you" he hissed, "you are with child, who would know"
"You are mad" she cried, "get off me!"
He muffled her cries as he pushed his lips against hers.
Eliza's eyes bulged in shock and panic, she screamed in distress against his lips, before she managed to push him away.
Before he could even move she slapped him hard around his face and tried to control her tears.
Jefferson rubbed his hand against his stinging cheek and spoke quietly, "you said you loved me"
"I have never said that" she replied angrily.
"You did, when we together all those years ago, you told me you loved me," he said, hoping to refresh her memory.
Eliza stalled. She cursed herself for it, but she did. She had told him she loved him.
He read her reaction with pinpoint precision.
"You remember don't you?" he smiled weakly.
"I was a mere child then, I did not know the meaning or the significance of that phrase, it was my youth speaking, not my heart" she replied.
"Even so, you said it" he replied.
"But I did not mean it, do not make me explain myself to you," she said quietly.
"I will ask you this," he said, his tone changing, "your father, though he was kind to me, did never tell me the real reason the engagement was broken apart?"
"It is because I realised very quickly that your affection ran far deeper than mine, our relationship was moving with such speed and I was frightened" explained Eliza reluctantly.
"So you admit that you lied to me," he said slowly.
"I never lied to you, it was my lack of understanding and experience of love, that lied to you" she replied.
She saw him clench his fists, as well as his jaw.
"Goodnight Madam," he said turning on his heels.
She tried but couldn't stop herself, "Thomas" she called.
He stopped in an instant and turned back to face her.
"I am sorry," she said.
"For what?" he spat, "for crushing my heart underneath your perfect little foot?"
"Yes," she whispered.
He laughed sarcastically.
"If I had known that your affection had run as deep as you said, I would have spoken to you sooner, but your behaviour towards me as of late has been unacceptable, now more than ever" explained Eliza.
"I suspect Alexander will be informed" spat Jefferson, "will you tell him, or will you allow me the pleasure?"
"Tell him what you like, what you say is not important, he won't believe you, no one will" replied Eliza.
"We shall see" chuckled Jefferson darkly.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" asked Eliza, her tone sharp.
"In Alexander, I can plant the seed of self-doubt" mused Jefferson.
"He is not so easily outwitted Sir" spat Eliza.
"They said the same for Othello, but all must rise and fall" replied Jefferson.
Eliza scoffed, "Watch what you say, Sir, that is my only advice"
"And here is my advice, do not get yourself tangled in politics, for if you do, I will ensure that you and your children get caught in the crossfire"
Eliza's breathing grew fast, "it is enough that you threaten me, but you will not touch my children"
"Well," he said, taking a turn towards the door, "make sure they stay out of my way, especially that son of yours"
"What offence has my son made to you?" spat Eliza.
"None at the present, but who knows, he is much like his father, impulsive and unpredictable," said Jefferson opening the door.
Eliza went to speak but Jefferson put up his hand, ordering silence.
"That is all Madam, goodnight" he smiled cynically.
There now, I will be in the next room if you need me" smiled Eliza, resting against the doorframe.
"Thank you Miss Eliza" replied Theodosia, snuggling down into the sheets.
"Goodnight my darling" called Eliza, closing the door.
"Goodnight" replied Theodosia, comforted by hearing the lock click.
Once Theodosia was content that Eliza was gone, she pulled out her mother's diary and began to read.
June 8th, 1778
I met with that young soldier again today.
He spent the night here with me. I will tell you no more than that. For if anyone should find this little book, and give it to my husband, I am done for. All I can say is that I cannot wait until Aaron is back safe and in my arms.
I know it is improper to meet with other men alone, whilst my own husband is away fighting, but my Aaron is very sweet to me.
What I like about him most is that he treats me as an equal, I am not spoken to any differently than he speaks to his fellow comrades. People say he is a quiet man, but it is very becoming of him.
He says they must leave soon, but he promises me that he will try and be stationed here in New York so that we can remain together. I don't know what I will do if he should die, if all goes well and Britain loses this war, I fear that my husband will want to return to England. If that is the case and my Aaron is still alive, I will have no shame in divorcing my husband to marry him.
People may scorn me, but I will not sacrifice my own happiness for the possibility of public ridicule.
Theodosia smiled slightly.
She must admit, parts of this diary caused her to blush and almost caused her to stop reading it all together. In some parts her mother had explicitly detailed her relationship with her father, Theodosia now understood the term, 'there are some things, you can never unread'. But it was amazing to see through her mother's eyes, experiencing everything about the war, loss and love.
Just as she was about to begin reading the next entry, a noise from the other side of the room caused her to freeze.
Theodosia lifted up her candle and shone it around the room.
"Hello?" she whispered.
She traced the noise to the door where Philip had warned her about the 'ghost'. He said he was lying and just teasing her, but what if he wasn't.
All of sudden the door pushed open and she saw a figure in the doorway.
Theodosia screamed in terror and was only silenced when Philip came into view.
"Sh it's me!" he whispered.
"Theodosia are you alright?"
They both froze at the sound of Eliza's voice.
"Yes - um- sorry Miss Eliza- I um I had a nightmare" called Theodosia.
"Shall I can come in a check on you my dear?" offered Eliza.
Theodosia looked to Philip who shook his head desperately.
"No no Miss Eliza, it's perfectly alright, I am fine" replied Theodosia.
"Only if you are sure?" called Eliza.
"Yes I am going to go back to sleep now, please don't worry" replied Theodosia.
"Well try and sleep now my love," said Eliza.
Philip stood in the doorway for a few seconds before he spoke.
"Why on earth did you scream like that? it's hurt my ears!"
"Serves you right for scaring me half to death" replied Theodosia, who didn't look happy.
"I'm sorry, I used to play the same prank on Angie, but it was never at night" he apologised.
Theodosia tried to hold her anger but it didn't last.
"It's alright, just promise me that you will knock next time, so I know it's you," she said.
"You want me to come back at night?" teased Philip.
Theodosia gasped, "that's not what I meant and you know it"
Philip winked at her.
"But Phillip if anyone finds you in here, I will be sent home and we'll never see each other again," asked Theodosia desperately.
"Don't worry I won't stay all night, just for a little while and then I will go back to my bed" he replied.
"But your mother said this room only had one entrance and exit, how does she not know about the secret door?" asked Theodosia.
"Mama thinks that no one has the key, but she forgot that grandpapa gave me the key years ago to prank Angie but never asked for it back, they have made several copies now, but it means that I can come and visit you without anyone knowing" explained Philip.
"It's still dangerous" whispered Theodosia.
"I thought that's why you liked me because I'm dangerous" he teased.
"Hah" teased Theodosia, "dangerous indeed,"
The two continued their conversation until Theodosia saw that Philip was shivering with the cold.
"You should have worn something warmer" she commented.
"Well I was hoping to be allowed into your bed" smiled Philip.
Theodosia's eyebrows shot up, "you can't mean that we- well your mother is just-" she stammered.
"Oh God no" retracted Phillip, "I didn't mean us to sleep together I just meant I would be allowed to lie beside you, but that is unless you want to sleep with me"
Theodosia gasped in shock, "just for that, not letting you in"
"Oh please" whined Philip, in mock annoyance.
Theodosia laughed quietly, "oh very well, I can't have you catching your death"
He tossed back the blankets and slipped in beside her.
He laid his head down on the pillow, but Theodosia sat up resolutely.
"Well what's wrong?" he asked.
"You have stolen all the pillow" she commented.
"Yes well, you don't have to share the same pillow, you have another one there" pointed Philip.
Theodosia smiled and grabbed the second pillow from the far side of the bed, and laid down beside him. Philip pulled the blankets back over them and pressed a kiss against her forehead.
"Now what?" she asked.
"What do you mean?" replied Philip.
"Well can I go to sleep or are we going to talk?" she asked with a smile.
"Would you like to sleep?" he asked.
Theodosia nodded and yawned, showing confirmation.
"Well which way would you like to face?" asked Philip.
"What an odd question" mused Theodosia, "I want to face towards the door"
"Okay, go ahead" he smiled.
Theodosia turned her body to face the door, confused and suspicious.
Ever so slowly Philip moved closer towards her until he asked carefully.
"Can I hold you from where I am while you sleep?"
"What does that mean?" she asked.
"Well it would involve me moving to here," said Philip, pushing the last little distance across to her, until his chest was touching her back, but making sure that his private area was still a respectable distance from her.
"Then what"
"Then if I may, I put my arm around you like that" he replied, awaiting her reaction.
Theodosia was a little nervous at first, Philip and herself and been physically close before, but never like this. And more importantly never in nightgowns and in a bed. But she didn't seem to mind him being so close. It was comforting to have him near her. Come to think of it, she rather liked being held.
"Yes, that's fine" she nodded.
She twisted her head and saw Philip straining slightly.
"Where are your legs, Philip?"
"I did not want to frighten you so I am just moving back slightly" he replied.
"But I like you holding me when I can feel your chest against my back," she said.
"If you insist" he replied with a smile.
This time he brought his whole body with him, private parts and all.
Theodosia felt slightly uncomfortable with his hips being in such close proximity to her own, but he relaxed and so did she.
"Can I sleep now?" she asked.
"Of course you may, I will wait till you sleep and then go back" he replied.
Theodosia sighed contentedly and soon drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
Philip lay in the darkness for some time.
Once he was sure Theodosia was asleep, he felt he could really relax and enjoy their bodies being so close together.
He couldn't see her face, but he did not mind. Just the touch of her velvet skin and the soft sweet smell of her hair was enough to satisfy him.
This wasn't the first night he had spent with a girl pressed against him. This was no new experience, his friends at King's College had seen to that. But with those other girls, he hadn't felt anything, except for lust when he was with them. With Theodosia, it wasn't just lust, this was something different. It went far deeper than the desires of the flesh.
His comfort came to an end, as mid sleep Theodosia shifted backwards, pushing herself against his private area.
Once he realised she was neither stretching or waking up, his internal monologue began. He kept reminding himself to think of other things, but his brain kept wandering back to the fact, that the most beautiful girl he had ever seen is pushing herself into him.
He knew he had to come up with a plan or else face disaster.
The little dress unclipping incident still haunted him, he cursed himself daily for how frightened Theodosia looked. The last thing he needed now, was for his body to betray him, when his heart for once, was in control.
Fortunately, Theodosia turned completely in her sleep and Philip was able to lift her head onto his chest, letting them stay as close as possible.
There he stayed, shifting his own body with Theodosia's and grabbing quick surges of sleep whenever he could.
At last, he awoke and seeing sunlight streaming through the window caused him to panic. He leant to see the clock and sighed as the time read 4.30am. He still had time to get back to his room without even the servants noticing.
He shifted Theodosia's body from his, back onto the mattress, very slowly and gently, praying that he would not wake her. After successfully returning her to the pillows, Philip pressed a kiss against her head and whispered, "I love you"
Grabbing one last look, he then crept across the room, slipping back through the door silently, unable to wait much longer for their first day on the estate to begin.