Reason to be strong

The bath water was cold by the time he climbed out wrapping a towel around his waist. Afraid of Izaya Orihara? If that was so then what the hell did he do now? Letting his hair drip, Shizuo trudged to his bedroom, pushing open the door. A blank computer screen stared back at him. Still numb the teen let the door close behind it, his naked form sliding down the door where he sat on the floor.

Everything was so damn silent, like the calm before the storm and he was smack bang in the middle of whatever the hell the flea was planning. Why was he so strong and yet so damn powerless at the same time? Gripping his head, a silent scream left him. He was lost.

A knock at the door didn't startle him, part of him already resigned to his oncoming fate. Pathetic. "Shizuo, honey. Are you okay?" The door was pushed open slamming into his back. "Sweetie?"

Shifting to one side was all he could manage the door flying open. "Shizuo, you haven't got dressed yet? You'll catch a cold."

Shizuo nodded solemnly forcing his body to move. Was this what fear did to people? "...Sorry. I think I was in there too long." His throat ached forcing the words from his throat. His mother didn't hide her concern biting her lip.

"Oh, Okay. Do you feel like eating? I could get you a drink?"

"Mum, I need to get dressed." It was cold to shut her out.

It was as if his brain had stopped working, his limbs slow to react. It took him a while to get dressed, collapsing down on the bed, one arm slung over his head. There was another rap at the door, this time it was his father. "Shizuo, everything okay?" What had Namie said? He needed to talk and not shut everything out.

"...No." The single word conveyed everything he was feeling, his heart in agony. Nothing was okay, everything was a mess and a sadistic psycho was out for revenge. The way his father looked back and moved his hands before closing the door, meant that this was the second part of his mother trying to get him to eat.

His role model took a seat on the bed beside him. "You want to talk about it?" Shaking his head he felt the awkward silence fill the room. Unlike his mother, his father would wait until he was ready to talk. "...Dad, you know...everything that happened?" Sharp knowing eyes fixed on him.

"Yeah, I know everything that has happened. I make sure to pay attention in your lives."

"...My strength...Why me?" What was the point of having something he couldn't control or use properly? He couldn't protect anyone.

"Because you're special. The doctors said so, you're different from everyone else. Its not a bad thing." Rubbing a hand through his hair, Shizuo slowly moved to sit up.

"I break everything I touch. The damage I do...you have to pay for." He was nothing but a freak and a monster.

"Son, that has never been an issue. You can't help what you do. You've put effort in to controlling your temper, all those anger management classes. Look how popular you became." All over now.

"Shizuo, you're still a child. Leave the adult problems to the adults." Acceptance. That was what he received every single time.

"...Slightly embarrassing." His father laughed ruffling his hair.

"Yeah, I'll leave the sentimental mushy stuff to your mother. Are you going to be okay?"

The talk helped, even though the real problem hadn't been breached. His father quietly left the room. The door closed but not before his mother stepped back in. Neither of them said anything to each other, the time for words had passed for now. Warm arms wrapped around him holding him close. Resting his head on the woman's shoulder, Shizuo closed his eyes.

It was safe and secure, for once a peaceful sleep. Cracking one eye open he looked into his mother's sleeping face, hair falling over her cheek. Just when had he fallen asleep? Better yet why hadn't there been any of the nightmares that plagued him? Glancing down he could see soft hands clutching his own. She must have held him until he had fallen asleep.

Carefully slipping one hand free, Shizuo brushed back the fallen lock of hair. "...Thanks mum." Remaining where he was he knew something had to change. His father was wrong he was no longer a child. He hadn't been a child from the first day he had met Izaya.

Gently slipping his other hand free, the teen carefully climbed off of the bed, making his way through the dark. Tiptoeing across the room the door was opened a crack. Quietly he made his way downstairs, turning on the light. "Nii-san, you shouldn't be up." Spinning around, Kasuka was standing in his pyjamas by the door holding a cup of water.

Instead of going back to bed, his younger brother joined him on the sofa. "Nii-san, is this him?" Coffee eyes widened. How was he supposed to answer that? "I know he's locked up but sometimes it feels...I don't know. Like he can still get me." Shizuo said nothing, his fingers shaking. "But I know I don't have to be afraid. I have you watching out for me."

That wasn't the case though, Kasuka was anything but safe. He just didn't know how much danger he could be in. "Kasu-" A hand rested on his, blank eyes gazing into his own.

"Nii-san, I feel safe knowing you're there to protect me. I know you would never let anyone hurt me. If it hadn't been for you, I might have...you know back then. I'm happy you have your strength."

His words were stolen, leaving him just as blank as the stare. His little brother was growing up quickly. "I wouldn't be going down the path of an actor if it wasn't for you. Nii-san, you aren't a monster." Someone had been eavesdropping on his conversation. "Are you sure you don't want to join me at the training school? You'd make an amazing action star, maybe a superhero."

Shizuo grimaced at the idea of wearing lycra. "You were listening." His voice had a touch of accusation. Kasuka only shrugged.

"I was worried, we all were. Its the quietest I've seen you ever." All he did was make everyone worry. "I'm going back to bed. See you in the morning." The teen said nothing as he was left alone.

In his hands he held his phone, fingers brushing against the small heart charm. A small smile briefly touched his lips before it was gone, lost in a wave of despair. Something else he had realised was that he wasn't the only one involved. Whereas he had a therapist and his family, who did Kadota and Karisawa have?

The otaku was most likely blaming herself and hiding under her bed knowing she had pissed off a serial killer, or maybe she didn't know how much danger she was in. The only two that knew what was going on was himself and Kadota and he hadn't said anything. Once again his fingers touched the button. What if there were messages from Izaya?

But then again there might be messages and missed calls from Chiyoko and his friends. Clasping his hands, Shizuo rocked back wondering what the hell to do. Switch on the phone. Don't switch on the phone. Switch one the phone... Pressing the button his heart beat quickened becoming almost painful. The screen lit up brightly, the logo popping up, before it finished loading and he found himself staring at the two smiling figures on the small screen.

Such a happy memory, one that had been marred with the after events of the day. There were only three missed calls and one message. I will protect her. There was nothing asking for help or blaming him for getting involved. Kadota didn't need him. Not as he was right now anyway.

Closing his eyes he could hear the footsteps on the stairs. His family had never given up. Who was it this time? "Couldn't sleep?" Ah, it was his father again.

"I think I slept too long." The peaceful time where he didn't have to worry about the immediate future.

"You know if your mother wakes up and find you gone, she'll panic. Are you feeling better now?"

Glancing at the picture on his phone, Shizuo nodded slowly. "Better than I was." His father didn't get any closer leaning against the door frame. "Good. With everything that has happened, your mother and I are worried. Shizuo, how would you feel about moving?" His mouth dropped open in shock, eyes wide. They were going to take him away?

"Our main concern is that school. Maybe it might be better if you joined your brother in acting, or we could find you another school." It wouldn't make a difference. He would be followed and another class would suffer. Or maybe not. He could leave all his friends behind and make a fresh start. Shizuo laughed bitterly at the thought. Like hell that was possible.

"...Sorry, dad. I have some people that I can't leave behind."

Weak or not he couldn't and wouldn't abandon his friends. It was already too late. Maybe things would turn out like a manga, this was the main turning point, where he got stronger and took on the main villain with everyone cheering his name. But this was reality and nothing of the sort would happen.

"...I see. The choice is up to you for now. Will you be okay to go to school on Monday?" The question froze him in his tracks. If he went to school he would see Kanra smirking at him, ready to torment him further. Hell he couldn't bring himself to leave the house, how was he supposed to face the source of his fear?

"...I think so." There was no choice. What if Izaya got pissed again and killed one more classmate. What if he went after Chiyoko? Or Shinra? They were completely innocent and kept in the dark.

"Your friends...They're important to you." It wasn't a question. "Shizuo, go and get some more sleep. Its supposed to be a really nice day tomorrow, well today now."

His mother was still asleep hands outstretched as he climbed back into bed. His father was up to something. It was laughable, he had been given the chance to escape everything and instead he had decided to stay. Stupid or brave only time would tell. Closing his eyes, his hands slipped into the warm loving hands of his mother.

It was mid morning that he found out what his father had planned. The sun was high in the sky, heat making him thirsty. . "Shizuo, honey. Can you go and help your father?" Doing as he was told, the teen found the man in the garden lighting a fire. Shielding his eyes his gaze took in the patio table and several chairs piled up.

His father stood there in one of those embarrassing I love to cook aprons. "Dad? What are you doing?" He was met with a wide smile.

"Look at the weather. Its nice and hot, perfect for a barbecue. Can you make sure the chairs are set out?" So this was the next part of his intervention. There were plenty of chairs, so just who had been invited?

If it was his father's friends there was going to be a lot of drunk men, most of them passed out on the kitchen floor again. If it was his mother's friends, they would talk non stop about things he didn't and would never understand. The door bell rang and he knew he was about to find out.

"Shizuo-kun." Shizuo gaped as his girlfriend smiled at him. His father was looking away being too preoccupied with the barbecue. "Heiwajima-san, thank you for inviting me." Why was she here? He knew then that this was Kasuka's doing. And since his his brother didn't know about the transfer student, Kanra wouldn't be attending.

Next to arrive was Celty and Shinra. His friend ignoring him completely only having eyes for his companion. Walker, Karisawa and Kadota arrived together. He could see that none of his friends had gotten much sleep. It was good to see them. Glancing down he noticed Kadota and Karisawa holding hands.

She didn't look terrified so maybe she didn't know. Tired eyes caught his gaze, placing a finger to his lips. She didn't know. "Shizuo-kun, do you want anything to eat?" Not wanting to worry anyone else he said yes, watching as the girl he loved talked to his father.

"I haven't told her. I'm not going to." Kadota stood by his side, no sign of the otaku. "So don't say anything. I'll watch over, I'll protect her." Shizuo said nothing. Kadota was the brave one, taking care of Karisawa, when he had been useless.

The two of them took a seat on the patio chairs. "Karisawa was shocked at first, I managed to calm her down. I think I'll have nightmares for the rest of my life. What about you?"

"...Same. My therapist helped, as well as my family. They're trying everything to help. They offered to take me out of school." Seeing the shock on Kadota's face he smiled. "I didn't take it. I'll stay with you guys."

Over by the barbecue was his happy girlfriend waving over at him a plate in her hand. Waving back he retuned the smile. Glancing over in the corner, Celty and Shinra were in their own little world. Karisawa's familiar squeal pierced through his ears. Blinking in confusion he turned back to Kadota. "I think I was just glad to hear that."

Next to him his friend laughed. "Yeah. I know what you mean. Shizuo, you know none of this is your fault. For now I guess we need to protect everyone and get Izaya back where he belongs." The two of them made a silent promise between them. His mother was smiling in the kitchen talking with Kasuka. Everyone he cared about was in his home. They had all accepted him and he loved every single one whether it was friend, family or girlfriend. They were the reason he had worked so hard to keep his strength in control and now he would use every tiny bit to protect them all and keep their smiles.