How To Prep Coffee Beans

Chapter 10: Vietnamese Egg Coffee

"Well?"

Chie opened a nearby drawer and pulled out a fork before running to the other side of the kitchen. She climbed onto the counter, opened a cabinet, and took one of the cup and saucer sets. Once she was on the floor, she filled her cup with coffee that Ken had made just a few minutes prior. She then opened the fridge, pulled out a carton of milk she had been sipping earlier, and lightened her coffee. When she saw the nearly empty bag of white sugar, she poured enough that the beverage rose to the very top of the cup. Once it was stirred, she brought the cup and saucer back to the counter, picked up her fork, and stabbed the cake. Shuu watched in awe as she ripped off a large piece and put it in her mouth.

"…Well?"

"It's good," she said, swallowing. "Did you really make this?"

Shuu's face lit up, his eyes wide and sparkling. "Oui!" he said with a big smile. "Ah, well, Kaneki made it. I helped."

"That's cool. Thanks, Kaneki."

"You're awfully calm for someone who just took a carton of milk out of a fridge with a decapitated head."

"I've seen worse."

Ken shrugged as Chie dove back into the cake. A good quarter of it was gone in a minute. "Alright. I'm glad you like the cake. I wanted to say thank you for finding Banjou. I know Tsukiyama already bought you a cake—"

"It's been a while since I've had a homemade cake. This is nice," Chie said, pausing in her eating to look at Shuu. "You're gonna have to pay me in homemade pastries from now on. No more store-bought crap."

Shuu snorted, still smiling. "Ah, so even the Little Mouse has a taste for gourmet food."

"Nah, I just think you making human food is funny." Chie took another bite and then picked the whole cake up. "Anyway, thanks again. I'm gonna go. I have another project."

Ken smiled sadly. "Hori."

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry I freaked out in the music room."

Chie set the cake down, picked up her camera, and took a photo. She then put the camera in her bag and picked up the cake. "No worries. Later." And she headed out of the kitchen. When Ken looked around the corner to watch her go, she was already gone.

"Pardonnez-moi, Kaneki," Shuu sighed, "I have quite the sassy little pet. She didn't even take the coffee she ruined."

"It's not a big deal, I'm just happy she liked the cake." When Ken turned back to Shuu, his smile was gone. "Um, Tsukiyama?"

"Oui?"

"I think you should cut Kanae some slack. I think he's learned his lesson."

Shuu pursed his lips. "Vraiment?"

Ken nodded, scratching at his chin. "He's been nothing but nice to me recently. He even apologized when he offered to do my laundry. Oh, by the way, your sweater is drying downstairs. Again, I'm sorry I took it."

Shuu's face softened and he gently grasped Ken's shoulders. "You've apologized enough, Kaneki. I'm not angry, I never was. You should have a new sweater anyway, since it's going to get cold outside soon. But if you really think that Kanae has learned his lesson, I'll end his punishment."

Ken nodded again, both hands now covering his chin. "Thank you." He wiggled his way out of Shuu's hold and backed away. "I'm going to my room. I'd like to spend some time alone."

"Bien sûr. It's been a long day with a lot of people. I'm sure you're tired."

"Thanks. See you later." Ken allowed his gaze to linger on Shuu a second longer before he dove away from the other's sight and ran to his room.

Shuu let out a long, heavy sigh and leaned against the counter. "Come out, Little Mouse."

A lower cabinet door opened. "The Doves haven't made a move in the sixth ward or anywhere near where Hinami and Ayato are," Chie said as she stabbed her cake again. "I still think you should keep Kaneki in the loop on these things, but his friends are fine. I have photos to prove it."

"Kanae didn't apologize to Kaneki, did he?"

"Nope. Look." Chie held up a photo of Kanae screaming at Ken in the laundry room. "He kept shouting about how Kaneki should hand himself over to the CCG or kill himself. But it doesn't matter, because you're gonna let him off the hook anyway."

Shuu nodded. "It's what Kaneki wants."

"You're disgusting."

"What?"

Chie rolled her eyes. "I've taken photos of you hunting and killing humans. I've watched you eat them. I've seen you rip flesh apart and slurp it down. I've seen you suck blood straight out of beating hearts. I've seen you fight and impale other ghouls. I've watched you pull organs out of still-living humans and ghouls and eat them as the victim dies. But this, Tsukiyama, all this fawning over Kaneki and giving him whatever he wants and feeding him and complimenting him and embracing him and letting him sleep in your bed and comforting him at the slightest sign of any pain is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen you do because you are so damn in love and don't even know it. You are head over heels, over the moon, stupidly, hopelessly, disgustingly in love."

Shuu stared, bracing himself against the counter, his knuckles white and his shirt suddenly too tight.

"It's gross and you need to stop."

"I—I don't—"

"What?" Chie asked around a mouthful of cake. "You don't know what I mean? Pfft, you're worse at lying than Kaneki, and you don't even do something that gives it away. For the record, inviting another guy into your bed and then being disappointed when he won't join you again is not just dudes being bros."

Shuu swallowed hard an undid his first shirt button, fanning his burning cheeks with his other hand.

Chie picked up her camera and snapped a photo. "Don't think I've ever gotten one of you speechless before," she said. "That's something. But, anyway, you need to do something about this. Either admit that you love Kaneki and pursue a relationship with him or go back to being your old self because I swear you are boring as hell like this. I haven't photographed you hunting in, what, over three years? Why don't you go pull out someone's heart and offer it to Kaneki? That's romantic."

One of Shuu's hands came to his forehead, which was very pale compared to his cheeks. He stumbled, still trying to hang onto the counter, but his legs shook and his grip loosened. Chie crawled out of the cabinet, her cake almost gone, and snapped another photo.

"About to pass out. Never got one of that either."

Matsumae set a cup of coffee down. "Would you like anything to eat, Master Shuu? I hope you do not find me rude, but you seem as though you have not fully recovered from fainting yesterday."

Shuu shook his hanging head. "Non, merci."

"Very well. Enjoy."

"Matsumae?"

"Yes?"

"Did Kaneki come out of his room while I was…?"

"I am afraid not. He has been rather quiet since yesterday afternoon."

Shuu bit his lip and gripped his coffee cup. "I see. I was hoping we could have breakfast together."

"Perhaps he was merely absorbed in a book and went to bed late," Matsumae said. "Or he could have been exhausted otherwise. It seems you and he had very much fun yesterday."

Shuu flinched mid-sip, causing hot coffee to splatter on the table. Matsumae immediately wiped it away. "Are you alright, Master Shuu?"

"Oui, pardonnez-moi," Shuu said, fanning his burning face. Shame bubbled up within him, as his mind had run wild upon hearing that he and Ken had had "fun."

Matsumae retreated to the kitchen and returned moments later with Ken's full coffee cup. "If I may make a suggestion," she began, "why don't you see if Master Ken is awake? And, even if he is not, I am certain he would be happy to wake up if you bring him coffee. He told me he enjoyed this roast."

Shuu hesitated at first but eventually took Ken's cup and stood. He thanked Matsumae before heading towards Ken's room. "Kaneki?" he said, gently tapping on the door. "Kaneki, are you awake?"

When he didn't receive a response, Shuu pressed his ear against the door, and his eyes widened. "Kaneki?" he said, shifting the cups so he could push the door open. He found Ken wrapped in blankets and holding onto his head, his face buried in a pillow. "Kaneki, what's wrong?" he asked, setting the cups on the nightstand and reaching for the other. "Kaneki, are you hurting? Do you feel sick? What…?"

Ken curled up impossibly tighter. "I don't know," he gasped out. "I just…I couldn't sleep. And then I felt so sad and…"

"Oh, Kaneki…"

"I don't understand, I was so happy yesterday."

Shuu bit his lip, awkwardly shuffling so he could be as close to Ken as possible without touching him. "I've heard that this happens sometimes when, um…"

"You can say that I have PTSD, Tsukiyama, I know I do."

Shuu took a step back. "I…"

"You know I have it, too," Ken snapped. "I saw those books on your desk in your bedroom. 'How to Care for Someone with PTSD.' 'Understanding Mental Illness.' 'Helping Someone with Depression.' I have PTSD and depression and anxiety and probably a million other things fucking up my mind. I'm just mad now because I thought I was doing better."

"But you are doing better," Shuu said gently. He stepped back towards Ken and continued, "Yes, I've been researching how to help you. I know I can't magically cure everything, but I wanted to know if there were ways I could help you cope. I wanted to help you have more good days than bad."

"So today is a bad day."

"…I'm afraid so."

Ken let out a sob into his pillow. "But why? I…"

"I don't think there's any rhyme or reason to it. I think you just need to push through it until it passes."

Ken started wailing, the pillow muffling the worst of the noise. "It's not that easy!"

"…I know," Shuu said, kneeling next to the bed. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Stay." Ken looked over his shoulder, face pink and eyes watery. "Stay with me please."

Shuu nodded and crawled into the bed, wrapping his arms around the other from behind. "Is this okay?" he asked, settling himself when Ken nodded. His heart pounded against his chest, and he was sure Ken could feel it against his back, but he found himself not caring. His head was level, and every even breath brought a bit of Ken's enticing scent with it. He resisted the urge to brush his lips against Ken's neck.

"I can't sleep," Ken suddenly whispered, snapping Shuu out of his trance.

"What?"

"I can't sleep. I thought I'd sleep if you were here, but…"

"Oh. Um…maybe you should do something? I mean expel some energy."

Ken rolled over to face Shuu. "But I feel like I have no energy."

"Kaneki?"

"Yes?"

"You said you trusted me, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then I have an idea. Please just humor me for a little while."

After a moment of contemplation, Ken nodded and Shuu stood. He helped Ken stand, too, and led the other through several hallways and down two sets of stairs to the basement. They passed the washing machines and dryers and entered another room, this one completely bare but with fortified walls. Shuu closed the door behind them, and Ken's breath hitched.

"Tsukiyama?"

"I think you need to move," Shuu said as his kagune burst forth and wrapped around his arm. "I think you've been sedentary for too long. It doesn't suit you. And a little nostalgia wouldn't hurt either."

Ken's eyes widened and he took a step back. "But what if I lose control again?"

"You won't. And even if you do, I'll stop you."

Shuu waited but Ken remained still, staring at the other and twiddling his fingers. Nerves tingled from his neck and down his back, his kakuhou twitching in anticipation, but he did not allow it to release its muscle. Shuu frowned at the fear in Ken's eyes, his own surveying how the other's body had softened over time. With black hair, Ken would look very much like his former self.

"So I'll be my old self, too," Shuu murmured, and he rushed at Ken. When he went to strike, the Rinkaku kagune appeared and blocked him.

Ken breathed heavily, surprised at his own reaction. "Tsukiyama!"

"If I don't come at you seriously, there's no meaning. That's what you said, right?"

"But—!"

"I've been following all my research so closely. But those books are for humans, and we are ghouls, so I'm going to do what I think is best for you. Désolé, Kaneki, please do not hate me if I'm wrong." Shuu lifted his arm and slammed it down again, Ken's kagune reacting to block it again. Ken then pushed Shuu away and jumped backwards, hot blood already coursing through his veins. Shuu followed up with another strike, and Ken dodged.

"Try to hit me, Kaneki!" Shuu shouted, his kagune pulsing and forming into a blade. "I will not hold back, so you shouldn't either."

"But, Tsukiyama—!"

"Let it out, Kaneki, let it out!"

One of Ken's tentacles blocked Shuu's next attack, and another initially went for his chest but veered off towards his shoulder instead. Shuu growled and dodged before clenching his hand into a fist. Ken's head jerked to the side, and he cried out at the sudden pain. Before Shuu could strike again, Ken squirmed out of his grasp, kicked at one of Shuu's legs, and let a fist go straight into Shuu's stomach. Shuu coughed and gagged, sputtering as he jumped out of the way slammed his kagune down. Ken dodged and his kagune thrust forward, but the Koukaku expanded in time to shield Shuu's entire torso.

"That's good, Kaneki, give me more! Don't stop!"

"I NEVER WANTED THIS!"

Shuu stopped. Ken's kagune slammed right into him, but he quickly found his footing and jumped before he could be hit again.

"I didn't ask to be a ghoul or an investigator!" Ken continued, his kagune wildly thrashing about. Shuu increased his speed to dodge, but the tentacles quickened as well. "I didn't ask to be turned into some experiment. I didn't ask to live this life. And I didn't want to be responsible for so much tragedy and death! I don't want it to be my fault that Ryouko died! And…and I didn't deserve to be tortured, I didn't! I didn't do anything wrong, but Yamori…!"

Shuu dodged another strike, his hard eyes focused on Ken. "What do you mean 'tortured'?"

"And I actually enjoyed my time with you and Banjou and Hinami and everyone else! Despite what we were doing, I was happy because I felt like I was part of something. I had people around me who cared about me, and I loved that. But the only reason I loved that was because I was a selfish bastard who was scared of being alone! I wanted to protect everyone, but I put everyone in danger, and I hurt Banjou—"

Shuu thrust his kagune forward so he was right next to Ken's face. "We already know that you didn't mean to do that, and we all know that Banjou wasn't hurt!"

"But it's not just that!" Ken cried, pushing Shuu backwards with every attack. "I took Hinami to Eto's book signing and put her in danger. She joined Aogiri because she met that one-eyed bitch! I joined the fight at the Anteiku Raid and made the manager's sacrifice meaningless. Aogiri was able to take him for more of Kanou's experiments because of me! And then there were Koma and Irimi…and you! I put you in a catatonic depression for years! I killed Amon Koutarou! I heard whispers around the CCG that Arima would have arrived at the roof in time to defeat the One-Eyed Owl if I hadn't shown up. I made EVERYONE'S sacrifices meaningless!"

A strong jab pushed Shuu against the wall, and he ducked before the Rinkaku kagune could strike. He slid away and tried to swing his own kagune towards Ken, but a Rinkaku tentacle blocked his attack. "And I hated being an investigator!" Ken shouted, pushing Shuu backwards. "Why did nobody try to bring me back? Why didn't anyone try to bring me HOME? Why did you all wait until I had regained my memories in such a dangerous place? I could have killed all of you! And don't say you were willing to make that sacrifice because I know it isn't true. And I even went along with turning innocent children into ghoul-like monsters! What kind of mentor DOES that? All of this while the CCG watched and waited for me to lose control. I was nothing but a circus animal to them! I was only there for their entertainment! Arima treated me like his little pet he could occasionally play with and then abandon when he got bored. And I still thought of him as my FATHER! That's not how a parent is supposed to be, but it's not like my real parent was any better!"

"Kaneki—!"

"My mom—!" Ken let out a sudden scream. "I'M SORRY, MOMMY, STOP HITTING ME! I DON'T NEED ANYTHING, SO STOP HITTING ME!"

"KANEKI!"

"I don't want…I didn't want…" Ken's kagune ran wild.

"SCREAM IT OUT, KANEKI!"

"I JUST WANTED TO GO ON A DATE TO THE BOOKSTORE!"

Centipede tails burst from Ken's back, and he screamed at the top of his lungs as they began thrashing around the room and slamming into the walls. Shuu's kagune expanded to shield against some of the falling debris, but he kept his eyes on Ken, who had fallen to the floor in a sobbing heap. He quickly rushed forward while avoiding the worst of the two kagune and jumped at the first sign of an opening. He grabbed Ken and held him close, his Koukaku stretching and expanding to wrap around both of them. Ken's arms shook as they snaked around Shuu and clutched his back. Loud sobs rumbled against Shuu's chest, and buckets of tears dampened his shirt, but he paid them no mind. He gently massaged Ken's back and ran his fingers through his soft, white hair, murmuring comforting words that calmed the kagune. First the centipede tails slowly relaxed and retreated, then the regular Rinkaku followed, and Ken's cries quieted.

"…Gardenias."

Shuu flinched. "What?"

Ken looked up, tears still running down his face. "You brought me gardenias. You said they meant purity, sweetness, and joy, but there's another meaning. I read about it."

Shuu paled, his breathing uneven as Ken slowly closed in and held Shuu's face.

"Secret love. Only it's never been a secret."

Shuu moved first. He closed the distance between himself and Ken, wrapping both arms around the other and kissing him deeply. Ken's hands moved into Shuu's hair, lightly scratching at his scalp as Shuu gently pushed him towards the floor. Ken only broke from Shuu to take a breath, but Shuu was back on his lips in a second.

"Tsu—Tsuki—"

"Shuu. Call me 'Shuu.' S'il vous plaît."

"Shuu."

A tear slipped from Shuu's eyes, and he dove back down to continue his meal.

Vietnamese Egg Coffee (Cà Phê Trứng)

The story goes that Vietnamese Egg Coffee was invented in the 1940s when a Hanoi hotel barman named Nguyen Giang ran out of milk and decided to serve coffee with a concoction of condensed milk and eggs yolks. The beverage was so well-received that he opened a cafe, and Vietnamese Egg Coffee has been popular in Hanoi ever since. Think of the taste like liquid tiramisu.

You will need (for 2 servings):

Strong, black coffee (about enough to fill two cups' worth about 2/3 full)

2 egg yolks

6 tablespoons of sweetened condensed milk

1/2 teaspoon of vanilla essence

Directions

1. Brew the coffee (see Chapter 1).

2. Whisk the egg yolks and the vanilla essence together until thick. Add and beat the condensed milk 1/2 teaspoon at a time. Beat until the mixture is custard-like.

3. Pour the black coffee into your cups of choice and spoon the egg mixture over the top. Serve immediately.

Recipe courtesy of Nude Food Hero.

Additionally, I will be at Anime Central this coming weekend, cosplaying Shuu on Saturday and hosting both the Tokyo Ghoul photo shoot and a panel all about the tarot card references in TG! If you'll be at ACEN, please stop by and say hello.