All things Twilight are the sole property of the divine Stephenie Meyers. This fan fic is purely for entertainment with no other gain.Moonshadow

Pillow talk, afterglow and general mushiness… plus a couple of surprises!

10. Morning

I woke to early morning light, Jacob a mountain of warmth beside me. It was tempting to reach for him but I wanted a moment to just relish the reality of the night. Rather amazingly, I felt quite rested even after being up half the night, making love, talking, and making love again. I stretched luxuriously, only to become aware that as wonderful as I felt otherwise, my body was telling me that it had had quite a work out!

I smiled to myself, what a work out it had been! I studied Jake in sleep; he was so beautiful! His face looked so much younger, and more relaxed, than it had for quite some time. I remembered the first time I had watched him sleep – my dawn visit to tell him that I had guessed his secret. It seemed another lifetime, now.

I allowed myself to gloat for a moment: doubtless, if Edward had never left, I would still be begging him to move past the chaste kisses that were all he had permitted. Funny, I could think of him without the slightest pang…what a relief! It was too soon to tell, of course, but I had an idea that last night might well be the last time I had that auditory hallucination of his voice. Why was I even bothering with that line of thought? Here I was, lying next someone who had proved himself so much more than second best or a mere replacement.

I was swamped with a wave of tenderness for my wolf-lover, a feeling of wonder as I let my mind range over the things I had learned about him in the night, and the things I had learned about myself. Jacob, with his vitality, passion and generosity had given me so much more than I had anticipated. His delight in my response to him had been so moving, as if I needed more reasons to love him!

After a few delicious minutes spent with these musings, I became aware of an urgent necessity, I had to pee! I didn't feel like getting completely dressed so I grabbed up Jacob's shirt, wondering – not for the first time – if fabric for his clothes should be measured in acres rather than yards. The shirt certainly covered more of me than my bathrobe at home did!

Business completed, I returned to the nest (really, was there ever anything sweeter than Jake's efforts on my behalf?). Just outside the doorway was a small bench that I hadn't seen the night before in the dusk. On it was a new dishpan full of water, with a towel and my backpack along side. Perfect.

Face washed and teeth brushed, I stepped inside to see my lover seated on the mound of quilts, our faces burst into smiles simultaneously. I sank to the ground beside him, reaching up my arms to his neck.

"How do you feel?" He murmured between kisses.

"Uh, pretty sore…." I admitted, rolling my eyes and snickering. "It took me forever to pee!"

"I'm sorry." He said, pulling back to look at me anxiously.

"Don't be! I'm certainly not! Really, I barely noticed at the time. But, um, is it usual to do it that many times?" I couldn't help giggling.

"Usual for werewolves." He smirked. We laughed as if at sparkling wit. Pressing his lips to my forehead, he whispered, "I'm sorry you hurt, Bella, would it help if I kissed everything all better?" I smiled invitingly, then -.

We heard sounds from the forest outside, whispering and hushed, conspiratorial laughter. We exchanged a look of exasperation and turned to the doorway.

"Crap!" Huffed Jake. "Quil and Embry! Where are the frakking silver bullets when I need them!"

He got up and slipped out the door under the hanging blanket, glowering. I was momentarily surprised that he didn't stop to put on even his shorts, but then casual nudity was undoubtedly a part of pack life; he didn't even have to think about it. Odd, at one time that might have bothered me, now it just seemed another part of Jacob's sexiness that he was so at home in his body.

I heard the voices of the wolf brothers, speaking low, and subdued laughter, along with some scuffling noises. I wasn't entirely sure how to feel about that. As Jake had pointed out on many occasions, I was part of the family. I supposed, like every other family, this had good and bad aspects to it.

He ducked back in, carrying a basket, an odd smile on his face. "Special delivery. Breakfast."

"Oh, I thought they came by for a play by play." I said rather sourly.

"Not yet." Mumbled Jake, eyes cast down and the russet of his skin turning a deeper red with embarrassment.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "I guess that'll come later, when everybody's phased."

"Well, it's not like I'll be able to keep from thinking about you…." He looked apologetic.

I gave a shrug. Really, it was time I got used to this facet of things in this unusual life that seemed to be my fate. Undoubtedly, Jacob got more details of the other wolves making love with their girlfriends than I'd be comfortable with, as well. Maybe that was how he knew…. Perhaps there were some benefits to this that hadn't been immediately apparent.

Jacob delved into the basket, handing me a bottle of orange juice and a cinnamon muffin. "Do you like raspberries? Uff!" He gave a stifled exclamation and quickly placed his hand over mine as I was lifting the pastry to my mouth.

"What?" I exclaimed, startled, and a trifle annoyed: the muffin looked and smelled great, and I had been awake long enough to start feeling hungry.

"Um, well, I need to explain something to you, Bells, something I should have told you sooner, I guess." Jacob looked – guilty, possibly?

Hesitantly, he said, "I, uh, didn't tell you everything about this last night." He waved a hand at the walls and roof of our nest. "I said it was traditional, but that wasn't the whole story…. I mean, a guy wouldn't go to all this trouble, get his best friends involved, for just a shack up, y'know? This is the place he'd prepare for, well, for his bride."

I nodded, "I figured it was something of the sort. I thought it was really sweet, actually." I couldn't help a smile. "It's no big deal is it? You've never put that much store by the old traditions, anyway."

"Let me finish. You see, there's a lot of ritual and stuff around a wedding." He seemed to run out of steam here, I gestured for him to continue. "There are songs and sayings and things…." He trailed off again. This was infuriating, why couldn't he just spit it out?

"The most important part of the ceremony is for the couple to 'share a roof, a bed, and a meal'." He gestured to our surroundings, ending by lightly tapping the muffin in my hand. "That's what makes it legal." He shrank back slightly, as if in dread, as I regarded him with narrow eyes.

"So, what are you saying, Jake? That if I eat this muffin, then in the eyes of the Quileute tribe you and I will be married. As in married." My voice was flat with…disbelief? Dismay? Outrage? Amusement? I couldn't sort it out. What I had thought to be a supremely romantic gesture abruptly seemed to be much more complicated, especially since Jacob was so thrown off balance.

Had he somehow tried to deceive me? That was so unlike him, and to what purpose? My face felt frozen, I couldn't tell what my expression was like, but it plainly wasn't very heartening as Jacob lumbered painfully on.

"No, no, Bells, n-not really. We don't do it that way any m-more." He was stammering in the face of my glare. "Really! Most of the tribe have regular, church weddings now, or rather, they have both kinds, and-and we didn't do the other stuff, the songs… and everything."

"Oh, I'd say we did the everything part!" I said, acidly. "So what made you decide to finally reveal this minute, eency, inconsequential detail? Just sort of curious, you know." He had the grace to look contrite, at least.

"I hadn't really put the whole thing together till just now, the basket was a surprise. I realized I'd better tell you right now rather than have someone make some remark and for you to think…what you're thinking."

Obviously crestfallen, he continued, sighing, "I guess I went about this in a really clumsy way, Bells. I just wanted to do something really special for you because, well, just because. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or mad or anything. The basket's from Emily, by the way, I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it, except to be nice."

His eyes were so pleading that I would have forgiven him anything at that moment. Surely, it was just muddled plans…. I felt a sharp stab of pity for this sweet boy in front me. He had worked so hard to impress me and here he was, terrified that I'd be angry over a point of tribal custom that had no significance for us, here and now.

I couldn't, I wouldn't let Emily's niceness take the shine off something that had been completely perfect.

I was suddenly filled with a spirit of mischief. Still holding his eyes grimly with mine, I raised my hand – and very deliberately took a bite of the muffin. Jacob's eyes widened. I couldn't help but laugh inwardly at his expression, as I said, coolly, "So, when do we tell Charlie?"

Lousy actress that I was, I couldn't quite keep my face straight; Jake saw my effort not to smile and relaxed.

"I guess we'll need to negotiate a bride price. Hmmm, you're awfully small, I guess my opening offer will be, say, a half dozen deer hides and, oh, some strings of shiny beads? What sort of dowry do you suppose he'll come up with? For taking you off his hands, you know." He was better a holding a solemn expression.

"Glad I mean so much to you!" I snorted. "You said Emily didn't mean anything by the basket, didn't she and Sam have this?" I waved my hand around.

"Ah, no. But, then they were already living on their own when they – found each other. This really isn't very common, any more. Mostly people go to a motel." He shrugged.

Once again, I was moved by Jake's thoughtfulness and hard work, especially on finding out that Sam, serious keeper of the old ways that he was, had not gone to such lengths even for his beloved Emily. I looked around me with new eyes.

The previous night I had had other priorities, of course, and had missed really examining the shelter that my lover had made for me. What caught my eye especially was the clever construction of the roof: leafy branches were woven and plaited together so tightly as to be almost solid, only a tiny pinpoint of light showed here and there.

I remarked on this detail and was pleased at the gratified smile on Jake's face. "I'm glad you like it, honey. This little place won't last long in this climate, of course, but it is nice for summer and the thatch will keep out pretty much anything short of a real downpour."

I set my teeth and observed that it was nice of his best friends to help. He nodded and said with a shrug, "Like I said, it's traditional; I guess by the time Quil's turn comes he'll be such an expert he can build on his own." We both gave a subdued chuckle at the thought; it would be so long before our friend and his imprinted mate would have a night like the one we had just enjoyed, although Quil himself didn't seem to feel that anything was missing from his life at this point.

"Now, Embry, on the other hand… he probably just ought to buy a house or something!"

"Really? Embry?" I exclaimed. "He always struck me as being the shy type. Is he…?"

Jake laughed and said, "Phasing seems to have brought out the beast in ol' Embry. The girls can't get enough of him! And none of them seem to be bothered that he's playing the field, so he must be doing something really right!"

"Envious?" I said coyly, to cover a pang of insecurity.

"Huh!" Jacob snorted. "Envious of what? I've got the best there is already! Embry just hopes he gets this lucky!" The love and pride shining in his brown eyes took my breath away.

"Does every, uh, romance get this sort of involvement from the pack? I'm just wondering, one of those werewolf etiquette things again, I guess." I queried.

"We-ell, no. Partly, it's because Embry and Quil and I are such close friends, like brothers, really. Partly, because everybody is tired of being in my head, wanting you so much…." He grinned wickedly. "Not that I think it's likely to change, especially now!"

"Any way, they like you, Bells, I keep telling you that. You're one of us now."

We finished the contents of the basket, talking, smiling, touching.

Setting the basket aside, Jacob reached for me, saying, "You look pretty cute in my shirt, honey, but you'd look better without it…."

Sometime later, he asked, "Aren't you glad I had you take the day off?"

"More than glad, I wish I never had to leave!" I sighed.

"Well, the day's not over yet. Let's go down to the beach, and I want to stop and get this basket back to Emily on the way."

Reluctantly, I pulled out the clothes I had brought in my backpack. It wasn't as warm today, I was glad I had brought jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt. I found myself raising an ironic eyebrow: I was prepared for cool weather in the middle of summer! I asked Jacob if we should do anything about the nest, but he assured me that he would return later to do whatever was needed.

Hand in hand we strolled to the forest's edge. Last night, it had seemed a long way; today, when I really wanted to draw everything out, it was all too brief. We paused at the house; I dropped my backpack in the truck and put on my rain jacket, the sky looked threatening.

Our next stop was at Emily's, where she was at work at her antique loom, weaving one of the items she made to sell in the tribal gift shop. I had gathered that she was considered very talented at this skill and that her work commanded a high price.

Her quiet thanks for the return of the basket was accompanied by a question, to me, in her eyes. I couldn't help the smile that came over my face, at which she gave a little satisfied nod and returned to her task.

Still holding hands, we continued on down to the beach, greeting the inhabitants of La Push that we met on the way. We passed Rachel and Paul headed in the other direction. Paul, his lips twisted in a lascivious grin, looked as if he wanted to speak till Rachel elbowed him hard in the ribs.

Abruptly, I recalled that Paul had recently imprinted on Jake's sister Rachel. Doubtless there was a lot happening between the two of them that my wolf wasn't too keen on sharing. Immediately, this made me feel better: Jacob probably did have some understanding of my feelings about being bandied around the pack mind!

He led me along the beach to the driftwood tree that I always thought of as ours. We'd had more than one momentous talk here. He sat, making a space between his legs so that I could sit just that close and lean against his chest. He was so warm…I shrugged out of my rain jacket. He made a little sound of contentment in the back of his throat, and rested his cheek on the top of my head.

His voice was husky as he said, "Thank you, Bella. For being here, and… for being my girl."

I turned my face up to look directly into his, searching his expression, which was almost bashful. I thought again about the absolute rightness of being with this wolf-boy-man. I took a deep breath and softly said what was in my heart, "I love you, Jacob."

He went completely still. His features arranged themselves in a carefully casual expression. With studied lightness in his voice, he said, "Sure, sure. You know you don't have to say that, Bells, just because I do sometimes, or because of last night. I was more than happy to despoil your maidenly innocence as a matter of courtesy." He chuckled wickedly, but his eyes were wary.

I felt as though a hand were clenched around my heart as I realized, again, how hard it had been for him to be the only one in love and how patient he had been with me.

"I know I don't, and I'm not, you know me better than that." I took a breath and, laying my hand on his cheek, repeated, "I love you. I love you. I've been trying for ages to tell you, it just wouldn't come out, somehow."

"So, what happened? What changed?" His tone was still cautious.

"A couple of different things." I gave a shaky laugh, "Renee said something a while back about how nice it is to fall in love with a good friend. I realized that she was right." I admitted, "You're the best friend I've ever had. I – I think I've been in love with you for a long time. I feel so foolish because I almost missed it. I was looking for… something else." My voice sank into a whisper.

He muttered something under his breath that could have been "I told you so," and then went on in a normal tone. "You said a couple of things. What was the other?"

"Would you believe - tectonic shift?" I said in a small voice.

"Now we're talking geology?" Jake rolled his eyes. "You're losing me here, Bella!"

"Well…" I told him about my strange rearrangement of reality at the hatchery.

"That was ages ago. What made you wait so long to tell me?"

"Well, I didn't want you to think it was wishful thinking, or people pleasing, like you're always telling me about. And I wanted to be certain for myself. I respect you too much, Jake," I said softly, "to want to be less than sure on this."

His huge hand gently smoothed my hair. He pressed my head to his shoulder and just held me in silence. Being Jacob, this pensive moment didn't last long.

"Tectonic shift, huh? So I guess I made the earth move for you and I hadn't even gotten your clothes off yet!" He guffawed.

"Jacob Black, do you ever think of anything besides sex?" I pretended to be scandalized.

"Hey, what can I say? I'm a guy!" He retorted. "Plus the fact that I'm holding the most beautiful girl in the world in my arms – who has, by the way, amply demonstrated in the recent past that she wants me and now says that she loves me and RESPECTS me. It would be down right sick of me to think about anything else, right? Anyway, you love it!"

"We-ell…." I admitted with mock reluctance.

His arms tightened around me, he looked intently into my eyes, his face serious now. "Bella, I love you with everything that I've got, don't ever doubt that. Even when I joke around, it's always there. "

There was only one way to answer a statement like that.

The clouds were starting to slowly break up, allowing shafts of pale sunshine through to limn the gray and white breakers with green and deep blue. Tourists, many in wet suits and carrying surfboards, and members of the village started to fill the beach as the weather brightened.

Kim and Jared walked by, hand in hand, to settle on another of the drift logs, with their own secrets to whisper to each other. Seth and Leah, in running shorts, jogged by and waved, brother and sister magnificent in their physical vigor. Quil and Embry came and sat down near us in comfortable silence. Sam and Emily appeared with Claire in tow, whom they handed over to Quil. Embry caught sight of a group of teenage girls and drifted in their direction.

Sitting in the circle of Jacob's arms, I looked out at the immensity of the Pacific before us, the clouds scudding along before the breeze, the gulls wheeling overhead, the ceaseless motion of the waves. I was immersed in a feeling of the interconnectedness of things: my love; my adopted family around us; Charlie on the road back from Olympia, probably thinking about dinner; the upcoming trip to Renee; work tomorrow at the café. I never wanted anything to change….

………

Arriving home late that afternoon, I was pleased to see that Charlie had not yet returned from his day of meetings: I needed a little time alone, to process my new perception of myself. Reaching my room, I dropped my backpack and hugged my arms around myself.

Falling back onto the bed, I closed my eyes and let my mind roam over the last twenty-four hours. I finally got it! What all the fuss was about! My memory was flooded with the sensations of Jacob; I didn't know how I was going to be able to wait till the next time I could be with him.

………

Well, I will keep calling you to see:

If you're sleeping, are you dreaming?

If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?

I can't believe…you actually picked…me.

Calling You

Blue October

.........

Let me know what you thought of Bella's admission!!

Chapter 11. Interlude

Jacob's POV of Ch. 9 Night and the Forest