-The Heroes Parody Project-
Nathan: Heroes is copyright NBC and it's creator Tim Kring. All characters, powers, locations, and whatever belongs to them. Any similarities from any actual persons living or dead is completely coincidental. Am I done now?
Peter: No, now you have to say it backwards. It's in your contract….
Nathan: Uh….coincidental completely is dead or living persons actual…..wait…why do I have to do that?
Peter: It amuses me….
Nathan: I'm outta here….(Walks out the door)
Peter: Wait! You haven't started the 'previouslies' yet!
Nathan (sticking his head back into the door): Previously on Heroes……
Thomas Fox and Peter fall to their deaths….well, just Fox.
Peter (at the Bennet House): What happened?
Claire: Nathan dropped you off and went to go run some errands. You managed to survive the fall.
Sylar eats some of Rachel Ray's food which was made of Play-Dough…he collapses.
Peter: And what about that?
Claire: I now have to take care of him against my will or he'll sue for damages. Which is stupid.
Elle (opening the door): Who are you?
Man: I need to see Noah Bennet.
The man collapses on the ground.
Noah: That man is my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather….
Elle: Oookay….
Sandra: Looks like he's dead…..
Noah is nowhere to be found.
Sandra: Oh, that's not good…..
Matt and Niki are sitting on the couch bored…..well, that's about it for them.
Niki: HEY! We did more than that!
Mohinder: You kids need help with anything?
Micah: We're making a microwave that can cook any meal in seconds!
Mohinder: Sounds impossible! Of course I'll help!
A loud explosion is heard, Mohinder walks into the living room to find half of the apartment gone.
Mohinder: Uhh….
Hiro shows up.
Mohinder: What in Sam's Choice is going on around here!?
Angela: Noah Bennet is dead…..history was altered and his ancestor was killed by a barrage of poisonous arrows. We have to go back and change history to the way it was….or the current present….will be permanent.
Mohinder: Hmm……
Hiro: And we're off!
The car speeds away.
---
Hiro, Ando and
Co.
Japan, 1659
You want Historical Inaccuracies, we got em'!
Hiro, Ando, Mohinder, Angela and the kids are walking through an ancient village.
Mohinder: Where are we?
Hiro: This is during the great war of 1659….
Mohinder: Great War Of 1659?.....Seriously?…..was that even a real war?
Hiro: Of course it was!
Mohinder: If you say so….
Hiro: Let's stay at this inn, we'll discuss our strategy there.
Later, everyone is packed up in their room.
Mohinder: So, explain to me again what we're doing.
Hiro: Mr. Bennet's great, great, great….how ever many greats…grandfather…is going to be shot with poisonous arrows at exactly 4:57pm. We must locate him and prevent him from going to the castle….He lives, History is restored to proper form…..and we can finally get on with our lives…
Ando: We were hoping Molly was able to get her power of 'finding people' back….
Molly: I've been working on it…..so far I can only locate people within my vision range.
Hiro: ……
Mohinder: ……
Ando: …..Man, some people get the best powers……
Hiro: ANYWAY……so that's the plan.
Mohinder: So what…..we find Reginald and you freeze time before the arrows hit?
Hiro: Something to that effect….
Mohinder: Okay, if the past wasn't supposed to play out like that….how did this all happen?
Hiro: I don't know…..I fear we may have another time traveler on our hands.
Mohinder: Well the only person who could do that would be Peter….like that time he altered history to where everything in the world was made out of Fruit By The Foot…
---
Peter teleports back to the present….all in the world was made of gummy goodness!
Peter: ….No words…….This is…..my dream…..
Niki walks up, her dress is also made of Fruit by the Foot.
Niki: What is up with these stupid clothes?! They're all sticky and gross!
Peter: We're living…..in paradise, Claire.
Niki: Claire!? Hello! I'm Niki, standing right here in front of you!
Peter: I have not a moment to waste!
Peter grabs a strand of FBTF and starts inhaling it.
Niki: HEY! Stop eating my dress, stupid!
Peter runs off with candy still in his mouth.
Niki: AHHH! You're unraveling it!!
---
Hiro: Uh….no, I don't think it was him.
Mohinder: So what do you have there?
Hiro: Blueprints to the castle!
Mohinder: How did you get those?!
Hiro: That's not important…..Anyway, lets get some sleep and we'll put our plan into motion this afternoon.
He spots Angela passed out on the bed.
Hiro: Well, Mrs. Petrelli got a head start…..
Ando is asleep on the floor.
Hiro: Uh……so did….Ando?
Hiro suddenly realizes that the room is filling with a gaseous substance.
Hiro: Uh oh……
Hiro falls to the ground. He uses his last ounce of strength to grab a piece of paper and pencil.
Hiro: Must…..write……..help………Oh man, there's something stupid written all over this:
CHAPTER TEN: HEIRHEADS
Hiro: Ugh…..(Passes out).
A group of guards storm the room and start taking away the heroes one by one….
---The Eclipse….wait….there's not one today?....That's okay, we'll wait for the next one……..waiting……waiting…..…..oh, forget it…just run the stock footage.—
---As the moon passes between the Earth and Sun, it creates the Eclipse, as well as the title card…Heroes---
Mohinder opens his eyes, realizing he is in….
Mohinder: Prison!? Oh that's just great!.....Hiro! Wake up!
Hiro (waking up): …aww…..but mom, I don't wanna move…all my friends go to this school…..
Mohinder: Uh…..Okay…..I guess I'm the only one up……
Mohinder looks around and spots something under one of the prison beds. He grabs the frame and drags the bed a couple of feet and notices a hole in the wall.
Mohinder: An escape tunnel!?......
Mohinder grabs a conveniently placed spoon and crawls into the tunnel. He reaches a dead end.
Mohinder: Well, better start digging.
He takes the spoon and starts to tunnel with way further and further….finally, he reaches the surface.
Mohinder: Freedom!.....Okay, now to get help.
Back in the Prison, Hiro wakes up.
Hiro: Huh…..where did Dr. Suresh go?
Meanwhile, Mohinder was….
Hiro: Well, I guess that's the only line I get….
Mohinder stumbles upon a tent.
Mohinder: Helloooo? Anyone here?.......
He snoops around, picking up different things and looking at them. He comes across a book.
Mohinder: The Journal of Dr. Reginald Reinhold Bennet The Third…..This thing is as big as a phone book! Let's see……
He looks at sketches of a machine of some sort.
Mohinder: Looks like he's building a time machine……..huh?!.....This machine looks just like the one Micah was building for his science project!.....According to this, you can leap through time jumping from one machine to the other. So someone from a different time has to build an exact replica of this machine…..well, that sounds a little far fetched….
Mohinder thinks a second.
Mohinder: In fact, if that time machine that Micah built is still in our time, I can go back to the present and get help, since I'm sure people still have abilities……of course I could've just waited for Hiro to wake up….oh well, no point in taking the easy route now……and I really need to stop talking to myself…..
Mohinder looks through the book and turns on some switches. Some lights start flashing as the machine makes a loud buzzing noise….
Mohinder: Hmm….I might have pressed the wrong button.
Mohinder disappears in a bright light, not too long before Reginald walks in.
Reginald: Did someone use my machine?!....I swear…..
(Meanwhile, back in the present)
In the serine neighborhood of PleasantView, we see newlyweds Peter Petrelli and his wife, Elle, sitting down watching tv.
Elle: Not to break character or anything, but is this 'The Mohinder Show' now?! Why the hell is he getting all the screen time!?
Peter: Hello, wife! Did you have a nice day?
Elle: I sure did, darling! I brought you your paper….
Peter: Wow, thanks! Okay….comics….comics……Hey, Cathy can finally wear her swimsuit. Oh no!....Don't answer the door, Cathy! It's your mother…..You know she's just going to harp on you for not finding a man!
Elle: ……Oh brother……..anyway, darling I wanted to talk to you.
Peter: One second, darling……..oooh….Dagwood just forgot Blondie's birthday…..oh snap! It has hit the fan.
Elle: ENOUGH WITH THE COMICS!!!
She rips the paper out of his hand and tosses it to the side.
Elle: I know you work hard at the night club with your band….
Peter: Yes…….Peter and The Pussycats……
Elle: That's not the name of your band…
Peter: IT'S NOT!?
Elle: Whatever……Anyway, so I was hoping that maybe there's a chance you could use some extra help at the club…..you know.
Peter: ……
Elle: Like….a singer, perhaps…..
Peter: Sweet!.......Do you know someone?!
Elle: I mean me, you dolt!
Peter: You?!.....HA! HA! HA! HA!.....I'm sorry…..I meant to say……The position has been filled.
Elle: Come on!
Peter: I don't know, Elle…..I'm going to be honest….you're not very….good….at that sort of thing…….Remember when we were in that dance contest?
---
Elle is sitting down with her parents. Peter runs over to them.
Peter: Nobody puts Baby in the corner!
He grabs her hand and drags her on stage.
Bob: What the hell is he talking about?!
Peter and Elle are standing across from each other. She starts running toward him as he gets ready to lift her in the air…..but….
Peter: OOH! A penny!
Peter bends down as Elle flops over his body and crashes into the orchestra below the stage. (CRAAAAASH!)
---
Elle: THAT WAS SO YOUR FAULT!
Peter: Nonetheless…..The answer is no.
Elle: But Peter!
Peter: I'm sorry, I need someone good!....I mean…..The position has been filled….
Elle (running away): WAAAAAAAHH!!!!......Oh, dinner's ready. I made some pot roast.
Peter: Yay! I love pot roast!
Elle: Where was I?…..oh, right……WAAAAH! (runs out)
Later….
Elle (talking to her friend): Okay Ethel, we need an elaborate scheme to make Peter put me in the show.
Ethel: I don't know, Elle. You know how this ends. We plan a scheme, he finds out and plans a scheme, we find out that he knows about our scheme and we find a bigger scheme, until it all blows up in our faces and I'm just not in the mood today.
Elle: Then what do you suggest?
Ethel: I guess you could plan something big. Something so big he'll have to let you in the show!
Elle: Hmm……..I know! Let's kill him!
Ethel: Uh…NO!......Lower, dear…..
Elle: Wax his ankles?
Ethel: Uh…..a little more extreme than…wait…...wax his ankles?
Elle: It's the only part that has hair and he doesn't care for it.
Ethel: I didn't need to know that……anyway….aim higher…..
Elle: ….hmm…….I got it! I'll get some schmuck to convince Peter for me!
Ethel: There you go, now get out of my house…..
Elle is walking back to her house when she spots Mohinder snooping around her garden
Elle: Perfect…..
Mohinder: Elle! It's me….Mohinder….
Elle: Whatever, I need your help.
Mohinder: I think my problem is worse than yours.
Elle: As if!.....I need you to help me get into the big show tonight….but I need you to trick my husband….
Mohinder: Hmm…..Hiro showed me all this before…..Peter, right?
Elle: Right!....How did you know that?…..Are you a witch?
Mohinder: Ugh! No……..I need to speak to Peter…..
Elle: Yes! Okay, here's what we'll do…….I'll fake an illness, and you will be my doctor. My only cure will be to sing and dance in Peter's show. Help me…..and I will help you…..got it?
Mohinder: Whatever……
Elle: Okay, I'm going to go rehearse….be at my house in 20 minutes…..
Elle runs away…..
Mohinder: Man…..
Peter slowly rises from a nearby bush.
Peter: HEY!
Mohinder: EEEEK!
Peter: I heard the entire thing! So……Elle thinks she can trick me, huh?......Well, we'll see about that……Okay, here's what I want you to do….Mohinder, was it?
Mohinder: Uh….
Peter: You are going to tell her she has an actual illness……Now, take this jar of avocado dip to rub on her face and break into my house in 1 hour….
Mohinder spots Elle staring at them through the window….
Mohinder: Oh forget it! You two are no help at all!
Mohinder storms away…….
Back in Prison….
Ando crawls back into the prison from the hole in the wall.
Hiro: What happened?
Ando: The tunnel collapsed.
Hiro: Well, that's just great……
Ando: Can't you just teleport out of here?
Hiro: No, these walls must be laced with opium…..the smell of that prevents me from using my powers!
Ando: Wow…..that's pretty stupid……
Hiro: I can't control my weaknesses!
Ando: But that's…..forget it.
Angela finally wakes up.
Hiro: Oh yeah, I forgot she was here!
Angela: I just had a dream…..
She walks up to Hiro.
Angela: You…..I saw you in my dream…..
Hiro: Me?
Angela: You will be faced with a difficult choice in the future…..I hope for our sake you choose the right decision…
Hiro: What does that supposed to mean?!
Angela: Well, I'm famished. I'm going to the cafeteria….
She walks over and opens the gate, and proceeds down the hall.
Hiro: Please tell me I did not just see that…..
Meanwhile, Mohinder is walking through a field, he spots the log cabin that Niki lives in.
Mohinder: If I recall, Niki has completely lost her mind…..I'll see if she can help.
Mohinder goes up to the house and knocks on the door. He spots Sylar looking at him through binoculars at the adjacent farm.
Mohinder: Huh?
Sylar slowly lowers into hiding.
Mohinder: Whatever.
Niki barely opens the door.
Niki: Who is it?
Mohinder: Hello, Niki! It's me, Mohinder! You know…..me, you and Matt always seem to get stuck in these worthless plotlines together! I wish they would change it up a bit. I never get a chance to work with Claire….
---
Mohinder: Okay….Claire…..do it again.
Claire: Oh, Come on!
Mohinder: Please!....It's for science!
Claire grabs some scissors and holds it in front of her big toe. She clamps them together as her toe pops off into the air.
Mohinder: Amazing!
Claire (after the toe grows back): Can I leave now?
Mohinder: Not yet……I need to log this vital information. I must say this is absolutely……extraordinary……Wow, haven't used that one in a while!
Claire: Ugh….
Mohinder: Okay…..one more time.
Claire snaps off her toe again, it flies into the air and hits the ground. Niki walks in….
Niki: Where the hell did all these dismembered toes come from!?
---
Niki: I don't know no Mohinder…..
Mohinder: Don't know no? Oh Niki….your grammar pains me so…..
Niki: I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Mohinder: I haven't been inside yet!
Niki: Oh, sorry…..please come in and make yourself at home.
Mohinder steps in.
Niki: I think it would be best if you'd leave…..
Mohinder: Wow, how I didn't see that coming…..
The door slams.
Niki (opening a window): And don't come back now, ya hear?
She starts chucking Beanie Babies at him.
Mohinder: This is nuts!
Later, Sylar opens the door to Mohinder.
Mohinder: Hello friend, may I……I can't believe I'm saying this…..ask for your help?
Sylar: …..I suppose. Go ahead and ask.
Mohinder: Uh…..Can I……get some help?
Sylar: ……..No.
Mohinder: No?! Why not?
Sylar: I'm much too busy…..can't you see that?
Mohinder: I guess it completely passed me.
Sylar: But you can come in…..if you're hungry you may eat the walls.
Mohinder: Huh?!
Sylar: I built this house myself…..it's made entirely of chocolate.
Mohinder: Uh huh……..(this guy is as nuts as Niki).
Sylar: I heard that!
Mohinder: You can read minds?
Sylar: No, I'm just…..an excellent guesser.
Mohinder: Wow, I have to get this 'past thing' worked out a.s.a.p……
Sylar: So, you've come to help me.
Mohinder: Other way around, champ….I need your help…..but I really don't see how.
Sylar: I'm looking for Waldo…..He's missing.
Mohinder: I hope you're not talking about…..
Sylar: These are the books that give hints on his location……if you help me…….I will thank you……then you may go…..
Mohinder: I don't know what to say to that.
Sylar: You must help me find Waldo…….I'll get my kit. Wait here…….
Sylar runs upstairs…..A man runs up to Mohinder.
Mohinder: What the?!
Waldo: You have to help me! That man is keeping me prisoner and making me look like this! I'm just the air conditioner repair guy!......I mean seriously, who wears a red and white striped sweater and cap everywhere….to the Beach no less!?
Mohinder: Well, you see I…..
Mohinder hops up and runs out the door, not looking back.
Meanwhile, back in Prison….
Hiro: I….
Later, Mohinder was….
Hiro: I hate it when they do that!
Mohinder was continuing to walk until he finally reaches civilization…..upon not having any food or water for minutes,....he passes out on the ground….through his blurred vision he notices a hand reaching toward him and dragging him along the way. Several hours later, he wakes up in someone's bed.
Mohinder: What the?! Where am I?
In walks Claire…..but…..
Mohinder: Claire!? You look….different…….
We see Claire, whose hair is jet black, her skin slightly pale, and sporting dark red lipstick……and two tattoo's on her arms. One reading: Life Sucks, and the other reading: Marilyn Manson RULZ.
Mohinder: Good Gravy, you've gone Goth?!.......It's actually not a bad look for you…..
Claire: Silence, Mortal…..
Mohinder: Oh, this is going to be fun!
Claire: I found you and took you into my lair…..but now you must fear me…..for I…..am a Vampire!
She gets ready to bite Mohinder when her plastic fangs fall out of her mouth.
Mohinder: …………
Claire: ………
Mohinder: ……uh……
Claire: …..that's not supposed to happen.
Mohinder: I kinda figured.
Claire: Well, they made it look so easy on Twilight!
Mohinder: I wouldn't know…..
Claire: Well, since I'm not going to kill you, I guess I can make you dinner.
Claire and Mohinder walk into the kitchen, Nathan is lying on the couch covered in Dorito crumbs…..
Claire: DAD! Order us a pizza!
Nathan: Sure, let me call….them…..(he dials)
Claire: Dad….that's the remote! Don't you know anything?! UGH! You're totally embarrassing me!
Nathan (talking on the remote): Hello?!......Luigi?......I need a pizza…..sure, a round one would be nice…..
Claire: DAAAD!?! You're so worthless!.....I'm going to go listen to my music! UGH! Teen Angst!!!
Claire charges upstairs…..
Mohinder: I guess I get no dinner……
Nathan (in a drunken stupor): HEY!....I know you…..
Mohinder: Well, I am the brilliant scientist Dr. Mohinder Suresh, you may have heard of my work…….
---
Mohinder: And in this week's episode of Reading Rainbow, I'm going to tell you about a wonderful story, 'The Little Boy who owned a castle'.
Mohinder pulls out a book.
Mohinder: Once upon a time there was this little boy who lived in a castle, it was one hundred stories tall!
He opens the pop-up book, a castle tower flies up and pokes his eye out.
Mohinder: AHHHHH!
---
Mohinder: That wasn't the flashback I wanted!!
Nathan: Don't you….work with that president guy?
Mohinder: Who, Matt?!......The President of Earth!?!......Me, working for Matt….don't make me laugh…..
Nathan gets serious looking.
Nathan: So you're……not working with the president.
Mohinder: Uh….no….
Nathan hops up and dusts off his Dorito crumbs….
Nathan: Come with me then…..we need to talk.
Mohinder: Uh….What?!
Back in Prison…..
Hiro, Ando, Micah and Molly are watching Angela chow down on a piece of cake.
Angela: A delicious piece of Red Velvet cake, that is!
Hiro: You could have gotten us something!
Angela: You didn't ask……mmmm…….this cake is heaven!
Hiro: Well, apparently we WEREN'T allowed to leave our cell and now it's locked for good. I hope you're happy!
Angela: I will be in 4 more bites!....Mmm…..Mmmmm……Mmm Mm Mm…… ….done!.....oh wait….now I'm sad…..
Hiro: This is pointless, why can't I get better people to work with…..hmm…I never get a chance to work with Claire….
---
Claire: Hiro! The world is in trouble! We must save it.
Hiro: Yes! I couldn't agree more, Cheerleader!
Claire: But first….
Claire takes her shoe off and chops off her toe with a pair of scissors….(Floop!)
---
Molly: Why does everyone keep fantasizing about her doing that?! It's gross!
Meanwhile…..Nathan and Mohinder are driving in the car.
Mohinder: Wait?....You're 'Nathan'…..the regular 'Nathan'……from the 'normal' present?
Nathan: Yup.
Mohinder: Okay, that's good.
Nathan: Yeah.
Mohinder: So are you going to explain what's going on?
Nathan: Okay, I'll try……
Mohinder: I want you to go back and tell me everything, starting from the beginning……
Nathan: Okay……
---
Doctor: Congratulations, Mrs. Petrelli….It's a boy!
---
Mohinder: NOT THAT FAR BACK!!
Nathan: Oh, right……..Well, after last volume's climactic battle….
Mohinder: If you could call it that…..
Nathan: Something didn't feel right……so after I dropped Peter off with the Bennet's I went back to the wreckage….
Mohinder: And Thomas Fox was alive, wasn't he?! UGH!
Nathan: No….but his body was gone, and its location is unknown. Anyway, I have a friend who works at a lab and he brought to my attention that someone is out to get us.
Mohinder: Out to get us…..?
Nathan: Yeah…..this person doesn't want to take us head on, so they are being sneaky and killing off our ancestors……which in the end erases our existence and altering the future altogether.
Mohinder: Who would do such a thing?!
Nathan: I'm trying to find that out….
Mohinder: Well I'm tired of it, we have to stop this guy before he keeps messing up history…..because it seriously jacking people up…..you should've been on the boat ride I was on earlier.
---
Mohinder: Um….I really appreciate the ride…..Mrs. Bennet…..well, you're not Mrs. Bennet because…..ugh….whatever….
Mohinder is with Sandra on the pirate ship…The S.S Muggles….
Sandra: Don't thank me, thank my beautiful husband.
Sandra's husband Fabio walks up.
Fabio: Nothing complements this bagel like 'I can't believe it's not butter'….oops!....I accidentally dropped some on my bulging muscles!
Sandra: Swoon!
Mohinder: You know…I think I'll just swim the rest of the way….
---
Mohinder: So…..how are you here and not a completely messed up version of yourself?
Nathan: Well, somehow when history was changed I wasn't affected…….but when I came back home a saw….um…..myself walking around……
Mohinder: Uh, that's bad…… ……you know that can destroy the universe if he saw you?
Nathan: Well…..I was tired and……I thought the Alternatives were revived again…..
Mohinder: And?
Nathan: and…..I…..ran him over with my car.
Mohinder: That's real bad!
Nathan: The 'Nathan' in this time is a total slob and has to take care of Claire! So I had to….assume his life to restore the balance or who knows what could have happened.
Mohinder: That doesn't really make sense…..where are we going?
Nathan: To the only man who can help you…..and save us.
They are stopped in front of a huge mansion.
Mohinder: WOW! Where are we?
Nathan: The President's Estate.
Mohinder: President……..Oh no…..you don't mean…..
Later…….
Matt: …President Of Earth, Matthew Parkman, at your service!
Mohinder: I think I'm going to be sick.
Matt: What can I do for you, Civilian?......Hmm….you look like my lab guy…….let me call him in here….
Mohinder: DON'T! You'll kill us all!
Matt: Uh…..okay….
Mohinder: I need your help, Matt. All of this…..the present…..everything is messed up. Someone is altering the past and…..well, you have no idea what I'm talking about so I'll just cut to the chase. I need to help Hiro and everybody else who is still trapped in the past and prevent any of this from happening….for real….I think….
Matt: Say no more, friend. I've got you covered. Come with me…..
Mohinder follows Matt into a side room of the Presidential Mansion.
Matt: My expert scientist has been working on this secret formula that can give people…..extraordinary abilities…..
Mohinder: Uh….yeah….Arthur Petrelli already did that.
Matt: Yes…..but I'm doing it better.
Mohinder: If you say so…..
Matt: Here I have six bottles, each with different variations of the super secret formula. Each one holds a different power….which I'm going to bestow….on you.
Mohinder: Give me a power?......I haven't had that since……
---
Matt is stuck to the wall in a giant, sticky, web.
Matt: Stupid Mohinder and his stupid face………
Niki is next to him, also stuck.
Niki: What the hell kind of power is this!?
Matt: I guess we're going to be stuck here forever….
Niki: Yeah, most likely.
Matt: I know…..being in this web make me feel like I'm in Charlotte's Web. I'll be Charlotte….you'll be Wilbur.
Niki: I'm not playing! We need to find a way to get down…..wait……Wilbur was the pig!! Did you just call me a pig?!
Matt: Well, Niki, if it's Charlotte's Web and I'm Charlotte the Spider, someone has to be the pig. Geez, open a book sometime…..
Niki: I'm so going to kill you the next chance I get…..
Matt: Don't count on it…..Maya has been up here for 4 months.
Maya: I can't believe Mohinder would do this! I'm so angry…...and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
Black goop starts oozing from her eyes.
Matt: Uh oh….Maya is crying oil again…..Black Gold…Texas Tea
Niki: Can I be finished off first?
---
Mohinder: I'll do it!
Matt: Okay, three of these bottles hold special abilities…..the others…..not so much.
Mohinder: What does that mean?
Matt: Well, they're abilities that are really cool, but won't help you.
Mohinder: I see.
Matt: You can choose three…..and only three.
Mohinder: I only get three?!
Matt: Any more than that will kill you!
Mohinder: That makes sense.
Matt: So choose wisely, grasshopper!
Mohinder: Don't call me that……let's see…..I'll take this one…….this one…..and this one……
Matt: And I'll take the rest!
Mohinder: You're going to take some?
Matt: Well, duh!
Mohinder: Okay…..I hope these turn out good.
Mohinder drinks the bottles one by one.
Mohinder: Okay….let's see…….
Mohinder flings his arm, a bolt of electricity fire off.
Mohinder: Okay, what else?
A few minutes of experimenting later……
Mohinder: Excellent! I have electricity manipulation, super strength, and most importantly, time travel. This will be more than enough to go back and save the day!
Matt: YES! That means I got all the cool powers….
Mohinder: Uh….but if I got the useful ones….which ones did you get?
Matt: Hair Growth, Teeth Whitening, and Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich Conjuration.
Mohinder: ……excuse me?
Matt: Together, we can save the world…..and maybe the Cheerleader if we have time….
Mohinder: OR…….you can stay here…..and I can go fix things…..so…..bye now…..thanks!
Mohinder runs off……Matt runs after him with long flowing hair and chowing down on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Matt: Wait!......I forgot to tell you that the powers are temporary…..man….I could use some milk…..
Chief Of Staff: Mr. President…..the photographer is here for your photo shoot.
Matt: Oh, goody!
Photographer: Okay, say 'Cheese'.
Matt: CHEEEEE-
Matt's teeth emit a beam of light that radiates a portion of the building. (ZAP!)
Mohinder gets back to Nathan's car.
Mohinder: I have abilities now…..
Nathan: Uh oh……
Mohinder: No, they're useful. I can go back, prevent this present from happening, and save the others…..
Nathan: Good luck…
Mohinder: Should I take you with me?
Nathan: No, I have to stay here…..I'll be back to the normal present when everything gets fixed.
Mohinder: Okay…..
Mohinder scrunches his face and disappears……
Nathan: I don't get the 'scrunching of the face' thing……it doesn't require that much work….
---
Mohinder appears outside the prison walls…..
Mohinder: Perfect…..I only have a few minutes left before Reginald gets shot. I must act fast…..
Mohinder rips open the steel door with his strength. He begins to run through the halls, zapping guards with electricity and throwing them across the room.
Back inside the cell….
Ando: What's going on out there?
Mohinder runs up and pulls the prison bars apart.
Hiro: We're saved!
Mohinder: It's almost time….
Hiro: Leave everything to me….
Hiro walks out and teleports away….
Mohinder: I was going to do that!
Reginald is outside, he is preparing a catapult to take down the castle. He looks up as an arrow is coming straight towards him. Time suddenly stops as the poisonous arrow is lightly brushing up against his forehead. Hiro walks up and pushes the arrow to the side.
Hiro: Perfect….now I…..OW!
Hiro spots an arrow in his leg.
Hiro: Well, that won't do!
-A few seconds earlier-
Hiro pushes the arrow away. Reginald fires some boulders towards the castle, taking out the archers.
Hiro: Yes! The future is saved…..now to get back.
Hiro teleports back into the castle as everything is falling apart. Mohinder and the others are running down the hall.
Ando: Hiro! What happened?
Hiro: I saved Mr. Bennet's great, great, great, great….whatever……and saved the future!
Ando: Good…..let's get out of here.
They start to run off…..Hiro stops as something catches his eye. He walks over to someone who is crushed by a large piece of debris.
Hiro: Is this….The King?
He bends down to get a closer look at the King of the castle….who looks just like Hiro.
Hiro: AHH!....What….what is this?......
Some guards run in.
Guard 1: Oh no! The king is dead!
Guard 2: Who is this ruffian?
Guard 1: That's strange….he looks just like the king.
Hiro: I didn't kill him! Honest!
Guard 2: He must be the King's identical twin brother!
Hiro: Oh no….I'm pretty sure we're not related…..
Guard 1: I guess this man will have to take over the throne.
Hiro: Th…th….throne.
Guard 2: Let's get him!
Guard 1 knocks out Hiro and drags him away. Meanwhile, down the hall….
Mohinder: Why are we running? We need to just teleport back!
Ando: Wait! Hiro's missing…..
Mohinder (flinging his wrist): My electricity is gone! If I'm going to teleport us out of here we have to go now or we're stuck here……well, unless we use Reginald's time machine which is probably destroyed by now…..
Ando: We can't leave Hiro behind!
Mohinder: He can time travel too. But we can't wait any longer….
Ando: I'll wait for Hiro….you guys can go ahead. Micah and Molly need to get back home so they can eventually be kidnapped again.
Molly: That's sad…..
Micah: but true….
Mohinder: Okay…..let's go.
Mohinder gets himself, Angela, Micah and Molly huddled together and they teleport back to the present. Ando stands in the hallway as the castle continues to fall apart.
-Present Time: Normal-
Mohinder and the gang end up back in the apartment. Matt and Niki are watching television.
Niki: Mohinder, where have you been?
Matt: And why is Micah, Molly, and Peter's mom with you.
Angela: I have a name!
Mohinder: Long story…..
Matt (to Niki): They had a party….and we weren't invited….so rude…..
Niki: Whatever….
Mohinder: Well, I'm just glad everything is back to normal….
Matt gets up to put his trash away, everyone notices that he has a tail.
Angela: Uh…
Mohinder: Leave it…..leave it……We're not going back……
Meanwhile….at the Bennet's…..
Sandra walks into the living room and sits down next to Noah, who is existing again.
Sandra: I'm glad everything is back to normal….
Noah: What are you talking about?
Sandra: Oh, nothing…..but don't you ever wonder what things would be like if our lives played out differently?
Noah: Not really….
Sandra goes back to reading her Fabio Romance novel: 'I can't believe it's not Scurvy'.
Upstairs…..Claire is back to nursing duties, looking at Sylar who is on the phone with some lawyers, laughing.
Claire: I can't take this anymore….I have to do something to prove Sylar's guilt….even if it kills me.
Peter and Elle waddle up.
Peter: Claire! Elle and I were dancing for some strange reason and he both broke our ankles!
Elle: I'm going to need someone to take care of me…..and bring me a Mojito if you could….
Claire: Ughghmmrphermgmpehrgm………
She glares at Sylar some more…..
To Be Continued….
---
Next Time: On an all new episode of ALF!
Niki: Alf!?
Claire is going to get her revenge….
Claire (to Sylar): You heard the promo….you're going down!
Sylar: We'll see about that!
Matt gets trapped in a videogame…..things that could happen to anybody….
Micah: If you don't find the seven amulets in the seven worlds before the end of the day…..videogames will be wiped off the face of the earth forever….
Matt: That's bad!
Micah: And you'll die!
Matt: That's double bad!
Mario: What are you doing with The Princess?!
Matt: I'm saving her…duuuuuuhhh!
Hiro becomes a King…
Ando: You're the new King of Japan?!
Hiro: I know!
Ando: Why are we the only ones who get stuck in these situations?
And Peter is getting back in touch with his artistic side…..
Peter: These 7 portraits depict the future……
Niki: We know how it works….
Peter: Okay, smarty…..what does the future hold?
Niki: Is one of them a giant mushroom cloud explosion or the earth ripping in two?
Peter: ……..shut up!
New Heroes Parody Project coming soon!