Maura's point of view.

6 months ago.

My front door opens, and I open my eyes. Angela is standing there with bags in her hands, she sets the bags down and comes to the couch. "I heard you were sick." She says as she sits next to me.

I have a coughing attack and cover my mouth.

Concern comes into her eyes. "You look terrible, Maura."

"Thanks." I say sarcastically, something I learned from Jane.

She puts her hand on my forehead.

"You're scorching hot."

I cough again.

She goes to my counter then sorts out the bags she brought. "I got cough medicine, crackers, soda pop, Nyquil, and everything else you could possibly need."

"Thanks. Now go before you get sick."

She comes back to me then feels my forehead again. "No. You're too unwell. I can't leave you."

"What? Don't be ridiculous, Angela. You don't have to get sick too."

"That's not important."

"You're so sweet…But you really should go before you get sick."

"Don't waste your energy arguing with me. I'm not leaving." Firmness is in her voice. She rests her hand on my neck. "Open your mouth."

"What? Why?"

"Let me look at the back of your throat."

Oh. I open my mouth and she stares inside.

"You're definitely sick."

She feels my forehead again. "You're so hot, Maura." She sighs. "Does it hurt when you cough?"

"Yes. A lot."

"Have you been able to keep anything down?"

"No…"

She looks at my skin then pinches it.

"Ow!"

"I was checking to see if you're dehydrated."

"Am I?"

"Maura, I think we should go to the hospital."

"Don't be ridiculous. It's just a cold, pulse Frankie will be bringing Theo back soon." I cough again, feeling it deep in my lungs.

"I've already talked to Frankie, he said he would keep him overnight. I really think you have pneumonia."

"What? No. I really need Theo here with me, and I don't want to go to the hospital for a cold."

"Theo will be fine with Frankie, and you need to go."

"He's already lost one parent Angela, I don't want him to think I've disappeared too." I say, trying to keep my voice even. "I just don't need to go. I'll stay home and feel better in a few days."

"Oh, Maura." She puts her hand on my chest and feels it rise and fall.

She stands and then disappears up the stairs.

"What are you doing?" I yell. A coughing attack strikes me and I grip my chest while I try to get through it.

"Sorry, I can't hear you when your lungs are trying to get rid of the bacteria living in them." She yells back.

She comes back with an outfit.

"Change into this and we'll go."

"I'm not going."

She grabs my forearm and gives me the death stare.

"You. Are. Going." She has never been this aggressive with me. "Get dressed." She pulls the blanket down, exposing me in Jane's sweats and Red Sox t-shirt.

Her expression softens.

"They're comfortable." I say, once my recent coughing fit subsides.

She sits down next to me again, rubbing my arm like I do with Theo when he's sick. Angela has always been more a mother to me than my own.

"Do you want to risk giving whatever you have to Theo?" She asks.

She has me there, she doesn't have to say anything more to get me to go.

When we leave my house Angela helps me into the passenger seat of her car. She buckles me in and checks the safety belt before she drives to the hospital.

Angela checks me in at the front desk, and we don't wait long until I'm called back. I lay on their emergency room bed, and try to get comfortable, but the coughing wont stop. There isn't a tickle in the back of my throat, it's like an explosion every time.

Angela sits at my bedside.

"Will you text Frankie and make sure Theo is ok?"

She eyes me. "Theo is fine, let's worry about you right now."

"Please Angela."

She raises an eyebrow. "Ok." She says, and pulls out her cell phone.

The nurse comes in as Angela text's Frankie. She takes a sample of my blood, and then leaves. I hate hospitals. They say they're clean but I know they are not. I hate lying in a bed that so many other people have laid in before me. It makes my skin itch.

Angela lets me know that Theo is fine, and I'm able to fall asleep while waiting.

Angela wakes me up when my doctor comes in.

"Mrs. Rizzoli?"

"Yes?" My voice is raspy.

"The blood work confirms you have pneumonia. I'm giving you antibiotics and it should clear it up quickly."

"Can I go home?" I blurt.

"We're going to keep you overnight for observation. You can go in the morning."

"Thank you."

She nods then leaves the room.

When I get settled into a room upstairs, Angela gives me a smirk.

"Look who was right."

"It was just a lucky guess."

"Guess? No, I made that decision based on evidence. It was pretty obvious you didn't just have a cold."

"You're right." I say. "Now I guess you can go home."

I don't want her to go, but what is she going to do while I lay here in this bed?

"I'm not leaving, Maura. I'll be here all night. Then I'll take you home in the morning."

I cant help but feel relieved. "Thank you."

"Sure. Now get some sleep."

"Are you going to sit in that chair all night?"

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

"It can't be comfortable…"

"It is. Now sleep."

I close my eyes then and allow myself to fall asleep.

I'm awoken later to hushed voices, it takes me a minute to remember where I'm at and why. I must be in a fever induced hallucination because I swear I can hear Jane arguing with Angela.

"I can't Ma." I hear Jane say in whisper.

"You can't just leave them like this, this is your family."

"But I can't put them in danger either, Hoyt is out there Ma, and I know what he's capable of."

I keep my eyes closed afraid any type of move will end this hallucination. I want to keep listening to her voice as long as possible.

"What are you planning?" Angela asks.

"Someone's helping me, someone who wants to keep Maura and Theo as safe as I do."

I can't stop the coughing fit that starts in me, and I hear Angela scoot her chair closer to me and feel her hand grab mine. Her thumb moves over my knuckles gently, soothing me. But it doesn't feel like Angela's hands, it's Jane. I'm still hallucinating. I keep coughing but I open my eyes hoping it won't break the hallucination, Jane stares at me, her hand still caressing mine. I move to the edge of the bed, as close to her as I can get. The IV in my arm hinders most of my movement, but I want to be as close to her as possible. She makes me feel better.

I hold her hand close to my chest, snuggling with it.

I close my eyes and try to breathe without hurting my chest.

Her other hand lightly touches my head. Then she moves her fingers through my strands of hair, soothing me quietly.

Feeling her touch me is what I need even if it's just an hallucination. Jane always makes me feel better even when I feel absolutely horrible.

"Lay with me." I whisper. I know I probably won't get an answer, but I don't care.

I hear her sigh then the sound of her moving. Then she lays beside me, pulling the covers over both of us. I snuggle into her side and rest my head on her chest. We fit together perfectly. Her hand moves through the strands of my hair again, relaxing me with every touch. I have to move my arm a certain way because of my IV, but other than that, I am comfortable.

I inhale her scent while we lay together, enjoying the sound of her breathing. I was freezing before she joined me under the covers, but now I am baking. She is my personal heater, keeping me warm despite the chill.

Jane calms me enough to let me almost fall asleep, before they start talking again.

"Who is this person?" I hear Angela ask.

"Her biological father." Jane whispers back.

Sleep finally overcomes me and I don't remember anything else.

The present.

Jane's point of view.

"Because he's your father." I say.

I watch Maura's face, and I feel like each moment that passes causes a crack to appear in an already fragile glass that's barely holding itself together. I hate all of this, the secrets and lies. I was wrong to think that I could handle this on my own, that I could make this work. Right now it seems like nothing is okay, so many conflicting emotions are coursing through me, battling with each other, I just want to shove it all away, numb all my feelings. I hoped coming back home would provide some form of normalcy, some form of comfort, but right now it feels constricting, like I'm trapped.

"Now why'd you do that for?" Hoyts voice echoes in my head.

My vision hazes, the lights in the room suddenly seem to bright but through the disorientation, I see Hoyt. His mouth twisted in displeasure.

"Why do you always make things so difficult, Janie?"

A wave of agony hits me so intensely that the room spins around me in a sickening swirl.

I try not to react, but it's impossible. The nauseating sensations I've been trying to forget for the past several years are all there. My head begins to throb with remembered agony. I attempt to suck in air through a suddenly constricted throat.

"Jane?" Fingers close around my wrist, through the panicked haze veiling my vision, I see my maura's face in front of me. She's gripping me tightly. "Jane, can you hear me?"

I manage to nod, my tongue coming out to wet my lips. My mouth is dry with fear, my hands clenching in a fist. A part of me knows that my mind is playing tricks on me, that this extreme anxiety is unfounded, but my body is reacting as if the threat is real.

"Breathe, baby." Maura's voice is soothing. "Breathe slowly, deeply... There you go..."

I do as she says, keeping my eyes on her face as I take deep breaths to manage my panic. After a minute, my heartbeat slows, and my hands uncurl. I'm still shaking, but the suffocating fear is gone.

"It's okay." She murmurs, stroking my arm. "You're okay..."

My body, coiled for combat, relaxes slightly. There's no danger, Hoyt's dead.

"I'm okay." I say, my breathing is beginning to return to normal. My voice, however, still holds echoes of horrors from my panic haze.

Feeling embarrassed, I wrap my fingers around her palm and pull her hand away. "I'm okay." I manage to say again in a relatively steady voice. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

She stares at me, her eye glittering, and I see a mixture of rage and frustration in her gaze.

"You're not okay, Jane." She says harshly. "You're anything but okay."

She's right. I don't want to admit it, but she's right. I haven't been okay since I left her.

"I'm fine." I say.

"Fine?" Her eyebrows snap together.

I swallow and look down at the floor. I hate the fact that I can't just brush this stuff off, I'm weak, and I hate it.

I feel her move away from me, and I took up. "What are you doing?" I ask.

"I'm taking my son home."

I sigh and look up at the ceiling then back at Maura. "You don't have to do that Maura." I say with forced patience.

"It's the right thing to do, I am so angry at you right now, for the secrets, for keeping the identity of my biological father from me, for leaving, for everything you make me feel."

Feeling stubborn, I glare at her.

"It's my decision to make Jane, or did you forget I have full custody of him, because you decided to up and disappeared."

I run my hands through my hair, and swallow roughly glaring at Maura. "You...Are." I immediately shut my mouth before I say something I shouldn't, hitting the door behind me angrily.

Maura flinches, but says nothing.

"See Janie, always messing something up."

I close my eyes, the room spinning again. Putting my hands over my face I then run them through my hair leaving them tangled there for several minutes, until my breathing is controlled and I know it's just Maura and I, and I let my arms fall to my sides.

"Why do you always keep things from me? Tell me that. You torment me with all these secrets..." Her voice cracks with anger.

"Torment you? You're the one who…" I stop talking again and look away from Maura again.

"The one who what?"

"Do you really want to know what I'm thinking right now?" I takes a step towards her, and she involuntarily takes a step back. "I'm thinking…that I...should take Theo." Her face pales, as I take another angry step to stand right in front of her. "Do you really want him to see the whore you really-"

"Jane!" My mothers voice stops the words coming out of my mouth, and I realize what I've done.

"Damn it!" I suddenly say, and Maura flinches away from me. "I'm sorry, Maura. I shouldn't have said that to you. None of that should have happened." I say quietly.

"You are not good enough for her." My fathers voice crackles with glee. God what is wrong with me?

Looking back at Maura I see the tears streaming down her cheeks. Expecting her to push me away, I gently brush the tears on her cheeks away, she doesn't push me away, she pulls me tighter. Cupping her face, I stroke her cheek with my thumb. I pour every ounce of love I feel into it. Without having to say it, I want her to know I love you, more than anything.

She closes her eyes and more tears squeeze out. It's so hard seeing her in pain, even harder to know I am the source of them, she said so herself. I run my hands in her hair and then drop my hands and keep them rigid at my side. Determination fill me as I swallow a lump of pain in my throat.

"I'm sorry." I say again