I have written so far on this story if what was happening was happening "now" but as I almost always else write as if it was happening "then" and it's been quite confusing having two different I'll go to writing in "then- form" at this too. I hope this isn't too confusing for you.

I looked up at the woman sitting in front of me. Carole said this was one of her friends- that her name was Mrs. Michaels and that she would help me. Then Carole and Burt left the room. Mrs. Michaels pulled a chair over to the side of the bunk I was sitting on. I pulled my knees on and pulled myself as far away on the bed from Mrs. Michaels as possible.

"Hello Cai…" Mrs. Michaels said. "Carole told me they usually call you just Cai. Would you rather be called Caitlin- or Miss Romero?" I shook my head. "So Cai's fine." I nodded. "Well- my name is Teresia Michaels but everyone calls me Tess- so you do that too okay?" I nodded again. "Carole told me you're a bit scared so I've brought a few things." Tess picked up a small white board, whiteboard pen, and a few books and placed them on the mattress right in front of me. The books all had different feelings written on the front cover like "afraid" "sad" and "happy"

"See these books?" Tess picked the one with "anger" written upon it. "Each of them have quotes about the feeling written on the front. I use them so you- or anyone else of my patients can choose the feeling they have and then read the different quotes, and then you can find one that describes what you feel- then you can show it to me. Then maybe I can help you."

I opened the book, already on the first page I found one that said how I felt, but I didn't show it to Tess and just continued to turn the pages. There were loads of different quotes about fear- both about the fear in itself and fear of certain things. I found a few others as well, but didn't show it to her or even stop at the page, I just memorized the number of the page and then put the book by the others further by the foot of the bed, and then looked up.

Carole had walked away to do something, now I could see her through the windows in the wall, and looked from her, to Tess, then back to Carole and hoped that she would understand what I was trying to say. "Do you want Carole to be in here?" I looked down, gave a barely noticeable nod and Tess stood up and told Carole to come in.

"Is there anything in this book you'd like to show me?" Tess asked, then I slowly picked up the book again and held it up to a page that read. "I'm scared, no, frightened." As Tess read out loud and then wrote something in the notebook she had on her lap. "Do you want to tell us what you're so afraid of? If you want to you can write it down." She reached me the whiteboard and the pen. A few minutes during silence went by, then I slowly took the pen and wrote on the board. "Him"

"Cai- " Carole stood up and came over to me. "When I was down in the reception just a minute ago. There was a man there asking for you. I tried catching him but he was gone before I had reached him. He might have been about this tall," she showed with her hand. "Brown hair and these green- brown eyes. Is that someone you know who it is?"

Toby! He was coming after me. He was going to find me and I was going to be stuck with him again. It felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest and I couldn't breathe. I wasn't aware of what the others were doing but I pushed myself out of the bed and ran out of the room and down the hall. Out of reflexes I ducked for every pair of arms that was there and trying to catch me.

But it got harder to do so as everything started spinning and got blurry. I didn't have the chance to focus I just needed to get away. I couldn't let him find me. And everything that was in my head was that I kept running as fast as I can, as far as I can. But then a man came around the corner, and before I had had the time to react he had a strong grip around my shoulders.

I wanted to kick, punch and scream- anything to make the man let me go and keep on running. But my muscles wouldn't move at all and I slowly drifted off. Everything went black and there was no pain, no sorrow and most importantly- no Toby- oh if I could just stay here.

Please don't let me wake up again

Carole POV

Some intuition told me that I probably shouldn't tell Cai about the man. Yet another part of me told me I should. Maybe- if I could get to know who he was. Maybe then I would know why he wanted to find Cai- and I had a really bad feeling. So I just knew that this man belonged behind rails.

But as soon as I had told Cai someone was looking for her I knew that I shouldn't have. She started hyperventilating, looked to me, looked to Tess and started stuttering- which seemed to be just nonsense mostly but I could catch words like "don't" and "me" Both I and Tess got up. Cai didn't seem to be looking at any of us right now, then she quickly- almost jumped out of the bed and before I had had the time to catch her- she was out of the room.

I ran after, it probably wasn't that much of a great idea to run after Cai like this. It would probably only- if anything- make her more scared. But what was there to do? Cai moved easily- I could see that now. Because I noticed how at least a few times she jumped away in the last second when I was so sure someone would catch her. At last Keith Bigsby- an assistant slash janitor from the ER came around the corner and in the blink of an eye he had let go what he was holding and grabbed Cai around the shoulders.

"Cai?" Out of my breath, I caught up with the young teenager. She was mumbling something but as she just hung in Keith's arms she was drifting off to unconsciousness. "What are you saying honey?" I leaned down and almost held my ear to her mouth to be able to hear what she was saying. It wasn't a whisper- barely more than a breath- yet I could hear clearly what she said.

"Please don't let me wake up again."

Cai's eyes were just barely open- but in the light grey- blue color I could see how strongly she meant what she was asking me to do. And oh how my heart was breaking at this point. When Cai was drifting off things she so hard fought to hide started showing. In the very last split second before they closed- her eyes were so filled with pain and fear.

It felt like hours but it was only a few seconds before Keith then leaned down and scooped Cai up in his arms, I led the way back to the room we had just come out from and pushed the door open. "Don't." I quickly said when Tess lifted her hand to stroke away a tress of hair that had fallen across her face. "She can't stand to be touched so in case she wakes up don't touch her."

I felt tears in my eyes, rising fast now when everything had started to calm down. I heard myself stutter something to Tess about not leaving until I came back and then left the room and rushed down the hallway. If you go through the hallway you can come into an examine room that is barely ever used, if you go through the door in that room you get to a small room that is used even more rarely. It is a storage room- but there's nothing in the shelves except for empty boxes. And even though I knew anyone barely ever came in here I hid behind a shelf and sunk down on the floor before putting my head in my hands and start shaking of silent sobs.

"Mrs. Hudson?" Barely five minutes later light flooded into the room when the door was opened and I heard the young Bigsby's voice. Keith turned the light in the room on and stepped in. "I saw you go into room six so I figured you might be going in here." He sat down on his knees by me.

For a moment, and just for a moment there was something I recognized in Keith. Keith wasn't in any way much alike Finn. The young Bigsby- as we sometimes called him- was maybe 1,7 to 1,8 meters tall and slender. His hair much lighter than Finn's and constantly getting in his eyes. His eyes some in between green and brown- yet for a second. There was something in his eyes, something in his posture that was so close to Finn's I couldn't help but gasp.

"Hey." Keith leaned against his elbows on his knees. "You alright?" I nodded, the things reminding me of Finn was gone. But there was still something with him I recognized and I couldn't think about what it was. I didn't know it was from Finn or somewhere else but- there was something and the fact that I couldn't notice what annoyed me- probably more than it should have

"Yeah." I wiped the tears with my hands. "I'm okay..." I was meaning to say more but didn't come up with anything. Keith bit his lip as if he was wondering about what to say next, but whatever it was I had expected- it wasn't the words he spoke in the next second. I barely knew Keith- he barely knew me, so maybe that was the reason I was so surprised.

"I have no idea why I'm telling you this but…. Let's go for it… I have this weird habit. I can sit for hours and hours out downtown and look at parents with their children. And maybe it's the fact that I've never really had a good parent… that makes me able to tell how the parents are as just parents. Of course I could just as well be wrong as I could be right but- I like doing it. And I've seen you with this- Fay or whatever…" I corrected him. "Yeah Cai… And I have seen you with patients… And I swear I have never seen a mother like you." I looked away so Keith wouldn't see I was crying again. "And if there is anyone who can help this girl it's you. Trust me!"

"Thanks Keith." I said. "Can I just be alone for a minute please" Keith patted my shoulder, stood up and left the room. But before he left he turned around in the doorway and said something- it was just said as a casual mention but it hit me just as if he'd punched me in the stomach.

"If you had your own children I bet you'd be the best mum ever. Or… well what do I know? Maybe you have and is the best mum already… Sorry… that's really none of my business." The door closed and the room went silent and dark again. I didn't blame Keith for the fact that what he just said he could just as well had ripped my heart out. It was just another one of these casual mentions that hurt so badly.

With shaking fingers I pulled up my phone from my pocket. I had my Burt- Tess and loads of other friends- but sometimes there would just be one person I needed- that one was my sister. Because of the fact that our parents didn't have any imagination when it came to names- we had very similar names- she was Karen.

With my fingers shaking just as much I riffled through my contacts to K and got up her name. Her youngest son- Timmy answered. "Hello aunt Carole… mum's in the bathroom. She'll be out in a minute." I tried to make my voice sound steady when I told young Timothy to hand the phone to his mum as soon as possible. "Here she is… Mum Aunt Carole wants to talk to you. Bye Carole" There were sounds in the phone when the eleven- year- old handed the phone to his mum.

"Hold on a second, I'll just go up to the bedroom to have some privacy." There were more sounds as she walked up the stairs in her house and then her voice was heard again. "Hey, is everything alright?" I did my best to be able to say everything I would need to so Karen wouldn't be all lost.

"You know how I and Burt were fostering… we had a thirteen year old girl a couple of days ago and…" My voice broke. "And I could really need you here right now."

Naw, poor Carole. About Keith- there is one detail to his family- situation in the chapter- but I'm not saying where- it will come out more in the next few chapters or… later in the story at least.