9

A Winter's Promise

Jack

The days washed away into weeks and weeks into months, yet the time never felt nearly long enough. It was every waking moment I spent by her side when either she wasn't diverted by the demands of her lessons or I the responsibilities of bringing winter to the world. We spent the time sparingly by pelting one another with snowballs and drawing angels in the snow, (she refused to build snowmen for reasons I didn't ask but had a distinct hunch about), and she even accepted the daunting challenge of teaching me to read. But I could never quite conquer the art of language. For one thing why were there three ways of spelling two? And if letters were silent in a word why were they even there at all?

I could tell that she didn't want to see me quit but reading and spelling and writing were skills I just couldn't wrap my head around. I was an immortal spirit acting as the embodiment of winter who had the power to manipulate and manifest ice and snow and frost at will but couldn't understand why 'why' contained an 'H' if it didn't even make a sound.

Nevertheless I relished the time we shared. She taught me how to laugh and smile, even how to cry and be afraid - emotions I'd never experienced as the ghost I had been. But I felt them now and somehow, no matter the number of years I'd lived, I realized I never truly knew what it was to be alive until then. And I couldn't go back, not when I'd stepped so far forward. Besides, where would I be and what messes would I be making without her to keep me grounded? She was the firm ground I stood on, and it was with her that I was able to steadily balance as I told her something I'd never spoken of until that night.

"Darkness... that was the first thing I remembered," My voice was almost faint to my ears as I relayed the haunting experience of awakening amidst an abyss of nothing but darkness without the vaguest recollection of either who I was or how I came to be there to the curious and sympathetic eight-year-old audience of Princess Elsa.

"It was dark and I was cold,"

Her intrigued round eyes gleamed brightly at me in the darkness and I shuddered not from the cold blue they were painted but from the memories of that terrifying night that seemed to resurrect themselves when spoken out loud.

"What happened next?" She'd hardly blinked since asking me where I was from, and it wasn't that it terrified me but that it fascinated me; that a mortal so young was already so insightful and inquisitive beyond her years, which were so limited already that was unbearable to think that there was so much knowledge out there for her to consume yet so little time to digest it.

The corner of my mouth turned up almost instantly when I vaguely became aware that she'd bent forward on her knees in the grip of anticipation.

"Well Princess, that night was not only the first time I lay eyes on the world but the moon as well."

"And what did you think of it?"

The words were on my lips, waiting to be spoken, but hesition dripped thickly from my tongue. What had I thought of his first impression?

"No words came to mind but of how stunning its radiance was against the dim sky. And I could only imagine how small and charming the world must have looked from up there." I absentmindedly pondered, even almost forgetting her presence for a moment. "But that admiration eventually turned to resentment."

"Why is that?" She said, a frown creasing her brow as she took a moment to adjust the position of the miniture ice sculpture that served as her queen on the board.

I raked a hand through my hair as I took her question into consideration before offering a careful answer. "Well, since that day he hasn't uttered another word to me. I was given only my name, which doesn't seem to be of much use if I have no memory of who I am." My head hung low between my shoulders when I couldn't make myself face her anymore and my voice almost too quiet to hear by the end. "I don't even have a birthday."

She draped her hand over mine then and her palm just barely that back of it, but her touch was just as soft and as gentle as it looked, and when her fingers interlaced with mine it reminded me for neither the first nor the last time why I'd yearned for so long to be seen through another's eyes.

"How how about December twenty-first?"

I quirked a crooked brow at her in response, rather intrigued by her question, and noticed how she bit her lip and averted her eyes when she realized she caught my attention.

"-for your birthday I mean. It's the winter solistice after all, and you're Jack Frost so it's only fitting." Her round eyes glanced up at mine and only seemed to get bigger each time I looked at them.

"December twenty-first it is then." I said through curved lips as I maneuvered my bishop to intercept the path of her rook - a terrible lack of judgement on my part because she immediately noticed the path I'd created for her pawn to corner my king.

"Checkmate." She proudly declared as she commited her final advance.

"Well played your Highness." I congratulated her, even offering a humble gesture of salutation.

I could see behind the hand she pressed against her mouth that she tried, (but failed), to stifle the laughter that ensued like the young lady she was supposed to be. But she wasn't a lady; she was a child in dire need of fun. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. It was all wrong. All terribly, terribly wrong. She wasn't supposed to hide behind walls and closed doors - it isn't how any childhood should be lived. She was supposed to seek laughter and silliness; because children were built for dirtyting their hands - what else were they good for if not to make a mess anyway? And plenty of messes she would make and even more would she clean up, I'd make sure of it.

Our laughter was quickly reduced to silence when a knock came at the door and a voice soon followed it.

"Princess? Princess who are you talking to in there?"

I was immediately struck with relief when I realized it was only Gerda, but Elsa was aware of everything from our suspended breath to the stillness of the room to the faint shadows of Gerda's feet cast beneath the door. She even gestured with a fingertip pressed against her pursed lips for me to remain quiet while she responded to the maid.

"No one Gerda, I'm only playing."

Neither one of us was able to catch our breath until we heard her foosteps disappear down the corridor and walk out of earshot. But even then Elsa couldn't so easily recover. And I couldn't help but feel that she'd half been hoping that it had either been her parents' or Anna's knuckles tapping against her door. Because, however much it may have hurt her, no amount of pain could take away her desire to be held in the safety of her parents' loving arms or to participate in the amusing task of building men in the snow with her sister.

It was sometime time before she recovered from the whiplash of Gerda's visit, but I was eventually able to rouse her enough to assist her from our spot on the floor to the seat at her window. I even managed to persuade her into at least grazing her dinner, of which she offered me a few bites in return, when it was brought to her doorstep. Although I'd never found it essential for me to eat, I had sampled mortal food on occassion before. But nothing quite compared to the warm fluffiness of a Pannekak and its dribbly apricot filling.

After watching me devour the remnants of her meal, we amused ourselves by counting the number of stars we saw sail by against the twilight. We were tied for seven and the chances of retrieving another word from her lips seemed slim judging by the absence of her mind and distance in her eyes when she suddenly spoke for the first time since Gerda checked in.

"Will you be my guardian Jack?" She asked, peering up at me with those wide, round blue eyes of hers. People always said blue eyes resembled the ocean, but hers were bluer than the ocean. If anything, they resembled the sky; because, just like the sky, there was no limit to them - they were endless.

" Always Elsa. I promise."