Chapter 10

Just how long Jane had been asleep on the couch she wasn't sure of. She hadn't even remembered being tired enough to have fallen asleep. But somewhere in the middle of ESPN's SportsCenter, she had fallen asleep.

Her realization of this came only when she tried to move on the couch and a pain shot through her shoulder forcibly waking her up. She let the pain fade before she gently eased herself up into a seated position on the couch. She looked around trying to figure out just how long she had been asleep, what time it currently was and how a blanket had managed to find its way over her.

She fumbled for her phone to check the time. It was just after 2 in the afternoon. To her best recollection, she remembered settling on ESPN around 11 am. That at least gave her an idea about how long she had been asleep but it hadn't provided an explanation about the blanket yet.

She was greeted with that answer by the voice calling out to her from the kitchen.

"Now that you are awake, you should take your meds and eat something."

Ma.

Jane couldn't help but smirk. She should have known the blanket was from her mother. Jane ran her hand across her eyes to wipe the last of the sleep away and slowly stood up.

"I only take pain pills at night to help me sleep," Jane answered. "But I could do with a few Advil." She heard her mother make her way into the downstairs bathroom knowing that she was all too happy to be of some help.

Jane made her way into the kitchen and waited for her mother to re-enter with the Advil. The pain from her shoulder was getting better daily. She actually thought she might have been able to avoid taking anything that day but the jostle she just did on the couch had made the Advil a necessity. She had wanted to get to the point where she could stop taking the pain meds at night but found herself unable to get comfortable or sleep without them still.

"Thanks," Jane said as Angela handed her two Advil.

Angela pulled out a bottle of water from the refrigerator and took off the cap for Jane before handing it to her.

"Thanks again," Jane said with a smile.

"How was your nap?" Angela asked as she took in her daughter.

Jane felt her mother's eyes scanning over her from top to bottom. She understood it. She even knew she kind of deserved the scrutiny. She hadn't exactly been available for her mother over the last week. In truth, she had been trying to avoid the woman as much as possible.

"It was good until I moved wrong," Jane replied.

Angela nodded. "Are you supposed to be sleeping on the couch? Doesn't that increase the likelihood of causing you pain?" she asked as her eyes drifted to the arm sling that still immobilized Jane's right arm.

"It's probably not ideal to sleep on the couch," Jane admitted. She hadn't napped on the couch since she had come home. The few times earlier in the week she did want to sleep in the afternoon she had gone upstairs and into bed. "I really hadn't planned on falling asleep this afternoon."

"You were out when I came in so you must have needed it," Angela said. "Aren't you sleeping at night?"

"I'm good at night. The meds knock me out," she answered. Which was true. As Jane replayed the morning she finally figured out that this morning had been the first time she had been awake before 8 am all week. She didn't realize that getting up and talking with Maura would have disrupted her sleep as much as it seemed to have done.

"Have you eaten?" Angela asked.

Jane recognized the look on Angela's face. It was the 'I really need to do something for you' look. Jane suddenly felt very safe in that kitchen with her mother. She smiled. "No actually, I haven't." She watched as her mother tried hard not to smile at the idea of being able to do something for her afraid Jane might misinterpret the smile as her being happy Jane's hadn't eaten.

"Can I fix something for you?" Angela asked softly.

Jane nodded. "Our kitchen is at your disposal. Have at it."

Angela's whole face lit up with that answer. This was the most Jane had let her do since the shooting. She hurried herself over to the refrigerator examining her options.

Jane moved herself over to a stool at the kitchen island and sat down. She let her mother have a few minutes to gather what now looked like the entire contents of their refrigerator. As she watched Angela she couldn't help but hear her mother's voice in her head again. That scream. That fear. That sound. She had to force herself to get it out of her head.

"Ma," she said quietly. "I'm sorry."

Angela froze and stood with her back to Jane. She didn't turn around for a few moments. But then, finally, she did. She had an armful of containers and jars. And she had tears trickling down her cheeks.

Jane continued. "You should never have had to see what happened."

Angela put down all she held in her arms and walked over towards Jane. There were things she needed to say to her daughter but she wasn't completely convinced Jane was ready to hear them. She didn't want to hurt her further by forcing a conversation if Jane wasn't really ready for it.

"You shouldn't have had to go through it," she replied quietly. Her daughter had been through enough in her life that Angela just didn't understand why more continued to happen to her.

"True," Jane answered. "But it happened nonetheless. I'm sorry you saw it."

"I've never been so scared in my entire life," she half whispered. "I mean, you've scared me before. You. Frankie. Tommy. I've been frightened by the things you all have been through before. But this. This…." she let her voice die off.

"This was different," Jane finished her thought. She watched as all Angela could do was nod her head. "This happened right in front of you."

With that the walls Angela had tried to hold together since the shooting crumbled and she started crying. A hard, heartbreaking cry. Jane was immediately at her side attempting to comfort her as best she could with still just the one usable arm. She let her mother cry. It was the least she could do for the woman.

Angela finally got her sobs under control and was able to pull back and look at Jane. "I thought…." she started but didn't complete her thought.

"I might die?" Jane asked quietly

Angela didn't verbalize her agreement but she did nod her head.

"But I didn't," Jane pointed out.

"You could've," Angela slightly argued.

"Ma," Jane said as she captured her mother's eyes and refused to release them. "I"m sorry you had to watch me get hurt. I really am. But I can't take it back or change it no matter how much I want to." She held her mother's eyes knowing what she wanted to say next her mother really needed to hear. "I'll understand if you can't..."

Angela cut Jane off before she could finish. "Stop. Right now," she said in a tone Jane hadn't heard since she was a kid getting in trouble for antagonizing Tommy about something. Angela wiped away the last of the tears that had fallen and she looked at Jane.

"I hate that your job is dangerous. I hate that you've been hurt as many times as you have. I hate that I worry about you every single day. I hate that your brother looked up to you so much that he has followed in your footsteps and now I have the same fears for him."

Jane dropped her eyes from Angela's. This was the backlash she was expecting to hear.

Angela put her right hand under Jane's chin and forced her to look back up as she continued. "But," she said and paused to make sure Jane was listening to her. "I'm so proud of the work that you do. I'm so proud of the families you help. I'm so proud of your willingness to put yourself in harm's way in order to protect others. I am so very proud of who you are." Jane felt her own tears falling before she was really aware of the fact that she was now crying. "This life, all you have done, it's not the life I would have chosen for you. But it is the life you were meant to lead."

Angela very carefully pulled Jane into an embrace being careful not to touch her injured shoulder.

"Thank you," was all Jane could manage.

R&I

I'm heading home soon. Is there anything you need? -M

Just your beautiful smile. -J

R&I

Maura had just finished shutting down her desktop when her office line rang. "Dr. Isles," she answered.

"Dr. Isles," a voice Maura recognized as Officer Henderson sounded over the phone. "I hate to bother you but it appears that you have another visitor."

Maura sighed. She was almost out the door to get home to see Jane. She had no idea who else was trying to see her. "Officer Henderson," she started, "if it's anyone that looks like a reporter tell them I'm gone for the day." Two had already tried to see her earlier in the day.

Henderson smirked. He knew the press attention was annoying the medical examiner. "I assure you Dr. Isles, I'd have already sent those vultures packing if I thought they were reporters." The two who tried to get down to see Maura earlier had waited until Henderson was on lunch to try to get a pass down to the morgue. "This lady says her name is Dr. Hope Martin."

Maura felt a sudden dread which first surprised her then infuriated her. She wasn't sure why she let just the notion of seeing Hope throw her.

"Dr. Isles?" asked Henderson. "Would you like me to tell Dr. Martin that you have gone for the evening?"

Maura released a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "No," Maura answered. Thinking for a minute she then gave instruction. "Will you please send Dr. Martin down to my office?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Henderson replied and disconnected his call.

Maura grabbed her phone and typed a quick message.

Got held up at the last minute. I'll text when I'm actually leaving. -M

After sending the message Maura returned to her chair and sat down. She stared at her door with anticipation all the while trying to steel her nerves. Given previous encounters she was not optimistic about what was about to transpire.

R&I

Jane read Maura's message and wondered what caused her delay. She looked up at her mother. "Maura's been delayed," she said. Angela had planned on staying to spend some time with both Jane and Maura before heading over to Sean's for the night. "You can head over to Sean's now if you want. I'm not sure how long Maura will be. If there's an issue with a lab or a report it could be awhile."

"I can stay," she said just a little too quickly.

"Ma," Jane said. "Go. Tell Sean I said hello," she said with a smile.

"Are you sure?" Angela hesitated.

"Go," Jane answered back. "I'm fine."

Both woman stood and Jane walked Angela over to the side entrance. Angela leaned in again for a side hug, still avoiding Jane's injured shoulder, and Jane, to her credit, didn't wiggle out of the hug. She knew her mother needed the contact and confirmation. They said their goodbyes and Jane headed back into the kitchen to figure out what she and Maura were going to do for dinner.

As she entered the kitchen her eyes drifted to the police file that was still sitting on the island.

13-01876 Gina Franklin

She let herself stare at the unopened file for a few moments and then she turned her attention to what pre-made dinner she should pull from the freezer for the night.

R&I

A soft knock on her door was what signaled Maura that Hope had made her way down to her office. "Come in," she said loud enough for Hope to hear her. Normally she would be up and greeting her visitors. Normally. But Hope wasn't a typical visitor and for some reason Maura felt better keeping her desk in between the two of them.

"Maura?" Hope said gently as she entered Maura's office. "I'm sorry to barge in on you like this. Thank you for seeing me," she said. She was clearly nervous as she slowly made her way into Maura's office.

Maura indicated for Hope to take a seat. "What can I do for you?" she asked not hiding the reserve in her tone.

"I was wondering how Detective Rizzoli was doing," she stated. Both women knew that wasn't the real reason for Hope's visit.

"Jane is recovering," Maura gave as her only answer. In all of their previous interactions Hope had given no indication that she had any issues with Maura's lifestyle or with Jane. But, Maura wasn't about to get into an indepth conversation with Hope about Jane.

"Oh," Hope stuttered. "I mean, I'm glad. From what I read in the paper I couldn't tell how serious Jane's injuries were. It sounded like such an awful situation."

"It was tragic," Maura answered. She sat and waited for Hope to get to her actual point because it certainly wasn't discussing Jane's situation.

After a bit of an awkward silence, Hope spoke. "I understand that Cailin stopped by earlier today."

"Yes, she did," Maura gave as a short answer.

"That's nice," she paused. "I mean nice that the two of you can talk."

Maura was now completely unsure of what Hope really wanted from her this time. Running out of patience she decided to be a bit more blunt. "Hope, what exactly is it that you wanted to see me about?"

Hope fidgeted with her hands trying to avoid direct eye contact with Maura. "I wanted to know….to ask….if Cailin had asked you about Patrick," she finally got out.

Maura couldn't help feeling a little indignant, "Frankly Hope, what Cailin and I discuss is really not of your concern. If that was all, then I think it's time for you to leave. I was on my way out."

"Maura," Hope said with a sudden plea in her voice. "I can't have Cailin pulled into all of this. She hasn't done anything to get dragged into the middle of such a scandal."

That was enough to set Maura off. "Oh, Cailin hasn't done anything to get pulled into the middle of a scandal. Cailin! What about me Hope? What did I ever do to end up in the middle of this 'scandal' as you call it? Oh wait, I forgot. You don't care about me. As long as Cailin is ok that's all that matters to you. She's your actual daughter after all. The one you had on purpose. Let's all make sure Cailin is ok. That she's cared for. That she's loved. That all her organs are fully functional. To hell with everyone else. Or more accurately, to hell with me!" It was a fury of words Maura had released and it even surprised her.

"Maura, that's not what I…" Hope tried but Maura cut her off.

"I think it would be best if you left, Dr. Marten," she said in a cold tone.

"Maura please. This wasn't how I wanted any of this to go," Hope pleaded with Maura. She had wanted to discuss something important with Maura.

But it was too late. Maura was done. With stone dead eyes she glared at Hope from behind her desk. "Goodbye Dr. Marten."

The silence that fell between the two ladies was deafening. Finally, Hope stood up and walked out of Maura's office not sure how things had gone so bad so quickly.

R&I

Coming home. -M

That was quick. See you soon. XOX -J

R&I

It took a little extra time and effort but Jane was able to rummage around the freezer and remove what she decided they could have for dinner. She found herself wondering whether she would ever tire of her mother's lasagna but then immediately dismissed the idea. As she shifted items around on the kitchen countertop she was again grateful that it was her right shoulder that was hurt and not her left. There were still a few things that she wasn't able to manage but for the most part she was able to get dinner started. She knew Maura would take care of the things that really did require two hands.

The ringing of the front doorbell surprised her. She hadn't thought anyone else would stop by that day. She had already seen her mother and Frost. She knew Tommy and Frankie were both working and both of them would have just walked into the house. So, she headed to the door not sure who it was going to be.

"Vince," she said surprised when she opened her door to her 'other' partner.

"Jane," he said and stood outside waiting for Jane to invite him in.

"Come in," she quickly said and stepped aside for the man to enter. They both made their way to the family room. Like Frost, Jane hadn't really seen Vince since the first night she came home from the hospital. They traded text messages less often than she did with Frost. Korsak wasn't the biggest fan of that mode of communication.

"How are you?" he asked with genuine concern.

Jane understood that was a loaded question coming from him. But, she decided to answer as honestly as she could. "I have good days and bad. I was hoping to forego pain meds and Advil today but it didn't quite work out that way."

Vince merely nodded at that. "How is the rehab?"

"Not bad yet, but we really aren't doing much. Not until the incisions fully heal anyway. It's been mostly me squeezing a rubber ball to try to help my forearm muscles. The grueling part of this will come later next week."

Both Jane and Vince had been through some version of rehab before. She knew he understood what she meant so she didn't explain any further.

"How are you doing?" she asked with the same genuine concern he had for her. Jane was aware that Vince had been standing right behind Eric when he was shot and she knew that was all still bothering him.

"I have good days and bad," he returned the answer Jane had given him. And Jane knew it was as true for him as it had been for her.

"Vince, what happened wasn't your fault," Jane said softly. She knew him well enough to know he was blaming himself.

"I should have…" he started.

"You should have done exactly what you did. You met with Eric down in the lobby to try to keep him from being nervous or scared. Any one of us would have done the same thing. You had no idea he was armed. And don't even start trying to say you should have searched him. The kid was 13 Vince. 13 and walking into a police station to report his missing sister. Not some kid on the street. Not someone we suspected of any wrongdoing. He was just a boy and I guarantee you that no one would have thought to pat him down."

He heard what she was saying and he desperately wanted to believe her. But he still had doubts. "I get that Jane, I do."

"But…." she pushed

"But after he shot Lansing, I should have…" he stopped and sighed.

This part was harder for Jane. She wasn't in the lobby when Eric shot Lansing. She had only entered with Frost after hearing the shot. But she had a feeling Vince couldn't have done anything differently.

"Vince, answer me this. And be honest. You know I respect you and I always will. No matter how you answer me." She paused to make sure he was willing to be asked what she was sure he knew was coming. "Could you have taken Eric down without the possibility of him firing a second shot?"

He was quiet for a minute. He again let the scene replay in his mind. Eric walking away from him. Eric approaching Lansing. Lansing approaching Eric. Eric yelling at Lansing. The shot. And then all available guns drawn on Eric.

"No," he finally answered.

And that, too, was the truth. Vince was the closest person to Eric Franklin when the first shot was fired but it had been so unexpected that there was simply no time to react more than pulling his gun and pointing it at the boy. Which is what he did. If he had tried to tackle or fight with the boy, he was sure the kid would shot again. Simply from fear.

And in the aftermath, he had been proven right. Eric Franklin shot the gun a second time because of fear. An officer moved toward him and it was just enough to scare him and he squeezed the trigger. Had Vince tried to subdue Eric after the first shot the kid would have fired that gun again just the same.

"Then that's the only thing you need to remember. And you need to forgive yourself. You weren't responsible for what happened Vince." Jane said with a renewed strength to her voice.

They all had moments, cases, that didn't end how they wanted them to. That ended with tragedy instead of a positive resolution. This would always be one for Vince. But Jane was convinced that he had no reason to blame himself. Just as she knew no one else did.

Vince nodded again. This time, however, it was not nearly as reserved. He wasn't passed it. It would haunt him for awhile. The boy was 13. How could it not? But Jane could see that he was starting to let go some of the blame. And that was always the first step towards healing.

They were both quiet for a minute when Vince broke the silence to ask the question everyone wanted to know the answer to but no one had been willing to ask.

"Are you coming back?" he said and looked Jane square in the eyes.

Surprisingly Jane held Korsak's eyes as the question registered with her. Truthfully, she was surprised he was the first to ask it. Not even Maura had ventured down this road yet. But she knew they were all thinking about it. Wondering.

She just didn't have that answer yet.

Maintaining her eye contact, she gave him the only one she did have. "I really don't know."