Two Weeks in a Mini Van by Charismatic Enigma
Disclaimer: I do not own Nintendo or any of its characters or likenesses to its characters and games.
A/N: HEY GUISE REMEMBER ME I UPDATED LIKE TWO YEARS AGO, WHAT'S UP? Anyway, I'm gonna finish this story in script format just cause it'll be faster, then my next fic will not be in script.
- Night 10 -
Master Hand and Crazy Hand were in the Grand Spiffy Chamber of Hand inside of the Smash Mansion on the tenth night of the games. They were discussing what kind of challenge to give hold for immunity.
Crazy Hand: A sausage eating contest?
Master Hand: No, that's stupid, Crazy.
Crazy Hand: Umm…They could play Battleship?
Master Hand: Hell no, I don't want to even look at another board game…
Auron: Don't be jealous Master Hand.
Master Hand: I'm not jealous! I'm just…Uhh…allergic to board games! Yeah…
Crazy Hand: How did you get here anyway?
Auron: Ancient Ninja secrets.
Master Hand: Since when are you a ninja?
Auron: …Ninja Vanish!
Auron disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Master Hand: …
Crazy Hand: …
Master Hand: …I wish I could disappear in a puff of smoke…
- Meanwhile, in the van… -
Samus: When Samus was in mini van…let my Samus goooooo…
Mario: Why would you even own a shirt like this?
Luigi: It was a costume party, ok?
Pikachu: Wow, another costume party. In order for me to buy that, it would first have to be plausible that you'd even get INVITED to a party.
Luigi: Yeah, well, so is your face!
Pikachu: What? That doesn't make any sense.
Luigi: Neither does your face.
Mario: Oooh, walked right into that one!
Pikachu: Ugh.
Master Hand then makes his usual low-budget entrance with smoke used from cigarette smoke collected in a jar.
Samus: It's times like these I'm thankful for my Power Suit.
Falco: I guess you should be thankful!
Samus: Go back to bed, Falco.
Falco: -frowning- Fine…
Master Hand: Um, excuse me, since when are you guys allowed to have like four lines of dialogue before I get to speak?
Luigi: Your face has four lines of dialogue.
Master Hand: …I don't have a face…
Luigi: …Shut up…
Master Hand: Anyway, it's time for a little midnight-immunity challenge. You will face off in a Sausage Eating Contest, a brilliant plan of my own design.
Pikachu: I bet Luigi will be great at this one.
Luigi: And just what is THAT supposed to mean!?
Master Hand: SILENCE! I'M CLEVER, DARNIT! PAY ATTENTION TO MY CLEVERNESS!
Luigi: Your FACE is clever.
Master Hand: …Uh, yeah, still no face dude.
Luigi: I'll get you one of these days, Hand…
And so, much random bickering later, our four remaining contestants are sitting in front of 25 hotdogs. There is no clear advantage here, as none of them are skinny Chinese dudes. Or really really fat guys named something like "Bub".
Master Hand: Alright, whoever finishes their plate first, wins immunity. Simple.
Luigi: And clean?
Master Hand: RAGH! Now that song is stuck in my head! THANKS!
Mario: You don't have a head.
Master Hand: Oh. Right. I guess it's stuck in my thumb or something then. But enough talk, have at you! Er, I meant to say, BEGIN!
Mario, Luigi, and Pikachu immediately began shoveling hotdogs into their faces. Samus, on the other hand, was playing Tetris inside of her power suit.
Samus: …What? You think I WANT to be immune?
It was around this time Pikachu had reached his limit, and he quickly ran to the bathroom, where he would surely spew. There are some Dixie Cups in there though, so he should be alright.
Now it was down to the brothers Mario. I never really got why their last name was Mario. Why not something normal, like Johnson, or Smith, or Kijahgafcvhgfa? Ok, I made that last one up, but you've got to admit it would be far more interesting than just being Mario Mario. I mean, did they just copy and paste that due to lack of originality?
…I sense I've gone too far. Oh look, we have a winner! Luigi finished just a nose ahead of Mario, thus winning immunity!
Master Hand: Congratulations Luigi! You've won immunity! What do you have to say?
Luigi: …Blegrghghghghghhg!!!!!!!
Luigi then proceeded to spew all over Master Hand.
Master Hand: …And this was a new glove, too. Well, I'll see you guys in the morning for elimination.
Samus: Hallelujah.
- Day 11 -
Samus: For the love of God people, vote me out. I can't take this anymore.
Pikachu: No can do Sammie, without you, it'll be one giant sausage-fest in this van, and I don't think I could handle that.
Samus: -sob- I hate my life.
Pikachu: Well, you know, I could be…ahem, persuaded to vote for you…
Samus: Oh, I know just the way. Come closer Pikachu.
Pikachu: I like the way you think. leans in closer
Samus: Closer…
Pikachu leaned in even closer, and Samus shot him in the face with a missile.
Pikachu: …-cough cough- …She wants me.
Master Hand suddenly made his appearance.
Mario: Wow, what an appearance.
Samus: It was quite sudden.
Master Hand: Oh shut up. It's time to vote someone out of the van, and remember, Luigi immune this time. Samus, you're up first.
Samus: I vote for myself.
Master Hand: Cute. No.
Samus: Ugh, fine. I vote for Pikachu, because if he was gone my van-dwelling existence would be somewhat more bearable.
Pikachu: I vote for Mario, but only cause I can't vote for Luigi.
Mario: I vote for Pikachu because I find the thought of a sex-crazed mouse kind of disturbing.
Luigi: I vote for Mario because I hate him with every fiber of my being.
Master Hand: Well, that decides it. Off to the Void with you, Mario!
Mario: Yeah, but you still suck at Mario Kart, Luigi.
Luigi: Your face sucks.
Mario: Touché.
And thus, Mario was sent to the Void, likely to sit and do nothing but play Go Fish with the others unlucky enough to be sent there in the past.
Master Hand: And then there were three. We're approaching the final stretch, so from here on there will be no more breaks. There will be an immunity challenge on Day 13, and the final challenge will take place on Day 14. Consider today and tomorrow your days off.
Pikachu: Wow, there's going to be an awful lot of filler tomorrow, isn't there?
Master Hand: You know it. See you guys soon.
A/N: Ok, here's the deal. I'm funny again. I'm writing again. And in the excitement of Brawl, I decided I'm gonna wrap this story up before Brawl is released, then, there will be a sequel to TWIAMV. Maybe even many sequels or other wacky stories. Expect the next chapter soon! I won't let you down this time, if anybody is still reading this.