9:38am Paris Saturday

"Avengers," Tony said as they all settled down for a very Parisian breakfast of croissants and coffee at a small cafe. "Find dates. Clint and Steve will be a pair, Natasha requested to be alone so you lot couldn't mess it up-"

"I actually said so you can't mess it up, Stark."

"All questions and comments later when I'll ignore them. Bruce and I are a a pair and Thor will be thunder-teleporting-"

"That is not the official term." Thor said.

"He will be thunder-teleporting to where we are around Paris to check up on our statuses and I don't mean Facebook statuses, guys, I mean dating ones."

"Facebook?" Steve mouthed at Thor who just shrugged.

"Also if you need Thor's assistance just call or text him with your location and he is your wing man." Tony concluded. "Any questions or comments?"

Steve raised his hand. "What's Facebook?"

"I can't not laugh at that incredibly dorky gesture or question so I'm not answering that. Google it." he added like he usually did.

Steve nodded. There were no more questions so everyone split up and Thor stayed in the cafe to call Jane.

Clint and Steve went to this big arty museum and Clint found it absolutely boring. Snooze-ville. Couldn't wait to get out. Steve had assured him that they'd find high-class women with education and elegance there but so far, it had been full of tourists, families and people like them; lonely guys wandering round looking for those high-class women. Then Clint saw her. The lone woman with blonde hair and wearing a business suit. Aha. Eureka. The pair wandered over, Clint trying to ooze sexuality while Steve looked handsome and charming.

"Bonjour." Steve said with a wide smile. "I'm Steve, were you looking at..."

And there Steve named some painting and he delved into a discussion about the painter's techniques and some other stuff. Clint just stood there, idle, until someone tapped his shoulder. He looked round and saw a brunette with an annoyed smile. "Hi. I'm Marie."

"Clint."

"Yeah. I don't really care. Just tell your friend to back off my friend because she's just got out of a relationship. A serious relationship. And he's Captain America, right? Isn't he Mr Innocent?"

Clint nodded. "Should be. But Tony, that's Ironman, arranged this big date tonight with us all so we've got to find dates in the space of one day."

"I've got my date," Steve suddenly interrupted him and the blonde girl was smiling triumphantly.

"Marie, you can go on a date with him, right? The bird guy?"

"Hawkeye. And call me Clint," Clint told her. She shrugged. "What if I don't want to go on a date with her?"

Steve and the blonde girl looked at the pair with wide begging eyes and they both sighed and looked at each other. Marie shrugged and Clint nodded in exasperation. The things he did for his friends.

...

Bruce was thinking the same thing as he watched Tony chat up several women at once. When one got bored, he complimented her and then flirted with the group in general. Bruce was trying to distract one of the women's husband with general chit-chat but it wasn't working. "I have to get Katie and go." the man said. He led one of the women off and Tony gave up as the group disbanded. Tony went back to Bruce.

"Barton just text me. He and Captain Boring have dates."

"Oh God. What time is it?" Bruce asked.

"Half 1. We have until like 6pm when we have to go back to the hotel to get ready. Then we'll set off to the restaurant at half 7 and get there for 8." Tony recited their schedule and Bruce groaned. Tony looked at him. "Desperate times calls for desperate measures," he said and got out his phone. "Hey, Fabio, I need two girls. Yeah. Hot. For date. Nothing else."

...

Natasha was having luck with Thor introducing possible men to her. She was wearing her nicest smile and a girly lilac dress. It was only for tonight- she was sure she could pretend she was girly and be civil. Eventually she deemed a man with curly black hair called Roger suitable to be her date and he arranged to meet her at Coco. She had heard that everyone else already had dates so she went back to the hotel with Thor. He talked incessantly about Jane but she let him.

She was practicing being nice.

8:01pm Coco

"Mr Stark, welcome, welcome," said the manager and gave them a huge twelve person table. "As you requested."

Three people were already sat there, all next to each other. Bruce and Tony sat across from their 'dates' and Natasha sat across from Roger. Clint helped Thor skype Jane so soon they were talking away and then their dates arrived. Everyone was sat silently, apart from the already dating couple, until Tony broke the ice by giving everyone a glass of champagne. "How about we all introduce ourselves? I'll go first. I'm Tony, Ironman, and I met my date at a um ice-cream cafe?"

"I'm Crystal, Tony's date," the brunette escort said with a beaming smile.

"I'm Bruce, Hulk, and I met my date at the same cafe."

"I'm Cathy and I'm Bruce's date." A red-headed girl wearing a glitzy dress.

"I'm Steve, I'm Captain America and I met my date at an art museum where we discussed the merits of the artist's painting techniques."

"I'm Francesca, Steve's date."

"I'm Natasha and I'm Black Widow. Also I met my date at the park, thanks to Thor introducing us."

"I'm Roger and I'm Natasha's date. Obviously." He gave a nervous chuckle and Natasha fought for the smile to remain on her face. Clint glanced at her, amused, before introducing himself.

"My name is Clint, Hawkeye is my superhero name and my date is Marie. Reluctant date."

"I'm Marie, Clint's date."

Thor just looked up, smiled and Jane waved.

10:02pm

After two hours, Natasha was ready to kill Roger. Not literally of course although he was annoying. It was a figure of speech. He was talking about...she tuned in for a bit then blanked out again. Dinosaurs. Fascinating. Just fascinating. And she was pretty sure Tony and Bruce's dates were escorts, Clint and his date were occasionally talking but most of the time, she was giving Steve and Francesca the evil eye. Them two seemed the only ones getting along. Jane and Thor didn't count.

"Natasha? Are you listening, Nat?" Roger asked and she snapped back to attention.

"Sorry. Just thinking."

"What about?"

"Our trip. We're going round the world. I was wondering where to go next."

"How about Spain? I have a nice villa there," Roger said with a smile. Natasha silently groaned. She had to let him down gently. "You could come and we could call our first child Spain. Haha just kidding."

"Ha," Natasha said. To hell with gently, this guy was a psycho. He had crazy eyes.

"We'd call it Paris."

Natasha felt a flash of alarm. "Uh..."

"You're beautiful." Roger continued. Clint was frowning at them now, his date forgotten. "Marry me?"

"I'm alright, thanks."

"Why? Come to my villa. We can stay there. You'll be safe there. Happy." Roger reached out for her hands and she stood up.

"I'm not bloody interested in you, you weird asshole." She snapped and Clint cheered.

11:11pm Hotel room

"Make a wish," Tony gestured to the clock and everyone sighed and 'made a wish'. "Has it come true?" He asked. Natasha reached over and punched his stomach. As Tony doubled over, panting, Natasha grinned.

"Now it has."

Ideas for where to next? There's going to be another day in Paris then off and away.