Rise

PROMPT: Castle – Rise

Chapter 10

"Prentiss, a word?"

Hotch watches her climb the stairs to his office with his heart in his throat. She hates it when people make decisions for her, but he knows she's continued to put off apartment hunting. And he can't let it continue. She needs permanence. They need permanence and it starts with building a home.

"Hotch"

He closes the door behind her because if she's going to explode, he wants to make sure it's behind closed doors. "Do you have a list of apartments you want to look at?"

There's a spark in her eyes. She knows. "No," her hands go to her hips. "I can find my own apartment."

"But you haven't," he counters. He's steeled his nerves for this confrontation because it's going to be a fight. She's been on edge for days.

"I haven't had time."

Which, interestingly enough, is his point. "You'll have time this weekend."

"I can't take time."

Of course she can. She's being stubborn. From the way her arms cross over her chest she knows it too. "It's already been granted."

"I'm not going."

He sighs as he catches her wrist gently before she can reach the door handle. "Emily."

She turns back and he literally watches the anger drain out of her. He's looking out for her, caring for her. And now that they've agreed to move forward he can be more blatant about it. That's exactly what they're doing. What he's doing.

"Why are you so reluctant to find a home?"

The question takes her off guard. It's obvious she's hiding from doing it. There's worry in her eyes, vulnerability. He reaches out to cup her elbow with his free hand, running his thumb over her sweater. He's encouraging her to talk. It is him after all.

"What if it's not permanent?" It's whispered, but he hears it. She doesn't believe it, doesn't believe she's here to stay.

"Where are you going?" he inquires.

She rolls her eyes, but doesn't shrug him off. "I don't want to go anywhere."

He pauses. "Then why don't you think this is permanent?"

She blows out a breath and he releases her when she steps to the window. He's closed the blinds, but they both know the bullpen's layout. They can picture it. "They don't want me here."

He doesn't bother to call her on the generalization, nor the irrationality. She believes it; that's what matters. "Emily," he begins, "we wouldn't keep you here if we didn't want you."

She shakes her head, like he doesn't understand what she's going through. "Hotch, I sit there, every day and… they don't trust me. They sit there… and nothing's the same. Nothing."

"Of course not," he replies. Realistically, she couldn't have believed it would be. They mourned her. That doesn't just go away. They're all healing. They're all trying."

"They're my family." There are tears bright in her voice, and they make his chest clench.

"They're working on it," he reassures her, promises her.

"I know," she says softly.

And he hates what he's about to do. "It might help when they know you have a permanent address."

She glares, but there's no heat, like she's thought of it before.

"Setting down roots is important, Emily."

"I know," she whispers, turning her eyes back to the window. "But if things change…"

"Then we'll deal with it," he promises and the pronoun isn't lost on either of them. He's going to be with her, every step of the way. He's got a second chance with her and with how brutal the six months were, he's not about to squander it now. He's going to make very sure Emily knows she's not alone.

She's chewing on her lip, and that's an encouraging sign. She does it when her mind is racing.

"Emily." He wants her to take him up on the offer so badly. She doesn't have to do the hunt by herself and he knows all too well what an irritation it is.

"Then I have to buy furniture."

It's a flimsy excuse. They both know it. His look telegraphs that. "We'll pick a safe neighbourhood."

"My old neighbourhood was safe." Or so she'd thought. But Doyle had found her there.

Hotch steps forward, gripping her arms, forcing her to face him. "Ian Doyle is dead, Emily."

She sucks in air, grows tense. He's hit the nail on the head, in a way. Her eyes slide closed.

"You held his son and watched him die."

This time, her breath hitches in her throat.

"No one can find you. No one will find you. You are safe." And he's going to make sure of that. He's going to do absolutely everything in his power to make sure that stays true.

Emily's breath shudders out, but she doesn't cry. Her arms unfold and her hands cup his elbows. Her fingers tighten reflexively.

"Say it."

Her eyes open. "Doyle's dead," she says quietly. "I watched him die." She swallows. "I am safe."

He wants to hug her, but doesn't. They're in the office and it's not his place just yet. Someday soon though. Very soon.

"Okay," she whispers after a breath. "I'll find an apartment."

"We'll find you one," he corrects. "This weekend."

"Hotch, I haven't done any research and-"

"And you'll start looking. Bring Garcia in, ask her for the safest neighbourhood within a decent commute."

She swallows again and nods. She's not thinking straight. Hotch has broke through to one of her biggest fears and abolished it for another day. Otherwise, she'd be fighting him, arguing. Instead, she's agreeable.

"Good," he says.

And it is. It's a first step forward, a push towards normalcy and another step in the healing process. Because he firmly believes that some of the reluctance comes from the fact that it doesn't look like she's tied down. She could pick up and leave at any moment. It's that simple.

An apartment will counter that, and when they turn her apartment into a home, it'll get even better.

She's not going anywhere. He's going to help her prove it.

But more importantly, he's going to help her believe in it.

I hate writing weak Emily. I do. There's a big part of me that fights against it because I don't see it as her character. Yet, I know it is. It has to be, or she wouldn't have given into Morgan so quickly re: the training. And, of course, the scene with Tsia and "Lauren Reynolds is dead". But still. I hate it. It's actually frustrating.

Then again, there's a whole bunch of them that are going to have reactions that are hard to write. It's that whole "we don't see this on TV" thing that gets me every time. Well, most of the time I have to write any of them weak or vulnerable. Especially if we've never seen it before.

Enjoy?