December 6th 2007 Thursday

17:45- I called Rose and Alice to see if they're coming tomorrow to the final Party we're having on the set (we would be finishing tomorrow), the both said they had other plans, Alice is having a dinner with Jasper's parents (poor girl).

18:00- I just called James and asked him to come.

"yeah, I'll be there" he said.

"are you sure?"

"yeah"

hurrraaaaaah.

December 7th 2007 Friday

22:00- I waited for James an hour and thought he might show up eventually, but he didn't, I called him and he wasn't bloody answering, I was bored and couldn't bare seeing everyone having fun but me, and that Victoria Wilster irritated me, while she kept herself so close to Edward bloody Cullen, trying not to get him closer to any girl around him, and she kept looking at my direction every single second, amused to see me standing alone like I was a looser stuck in this place by mistake. Bloody Victoria!

Eventually I decided to go and see what's the matter with James, hoping he had a good excuse, maybe he had forgotten because of exams, or work or anything, and we would end up hanging at his place (and yes! I was prepared).

As I stepped to his apartment I heard some really powerful opera music, I thought it would be really great, so we can listen together, as a start for my new opera obsession.

But as soon as I stepped into his apartment I saw a mess, some stuff on the ground, and there was a light that came from his bedroom, I hesitated before entering but eventually I stepped inside trying not to expect anything bad, but what could be worse than finding a stark naked skinny woman lying on the bed pretending to be dead? And not only that, there was also some drops of wine that looked like blood on her mouth down to her neck.

I stood for a while shocked and couldn't remove a foot, I couldn't stare more at the revolving picture, then I saw James coming from somewhere, he looked at me, and I couldn't look at him, I immediately ran away, and went home. Crying.

When I arrived home, mum saw me crying and asked me what's the mater, I told her nothing and to leave me alone, but she didn't , instead she forced me to tell her that James cheats on me, she was great, she said she expected him to do such a thing, "all men are the same, they want to get laid, once they cant, they look for a prostitute".
Mum could be annoying sometimes, but she's the best to make it easier on me when I'm depressed, only this time, because I'm suicidely depressed.

All the time I thought Jacob was the worst of guys, but he's an angel compared to

James (so every guy starts with a J is a bastard?)

I wanted James to call, I wished he would have ay explanation that would bring everything as it was before, I don't know, a crazy sister he had in his apartment, his new roommate's girlfriend, someone obsessed with him, and couldn't leave him, anything that can make everything come back to normal.

22:20- Rose just called and heard me crying over the phone, I told her James 'might' be cheating on me, and I have to hang up in case he calls, "DON'T!" she shouted over the phone, "Don't answer him if he calls, don't touch your phone! I'm coming over!"

23:00- Rose just came and immediately turned my mobile off, and maybe ate it.

I told her about everything I saw.

"Bloody hell" she said, "feels like a horror movie about vampires"

"a horror movie?" I asked, "vampires?"

"yeah, you know when a vampire bites his victim" she explained, "he seduces her to get into bed, and then after he shags her he bites her and drinks all her blood"

"Rose?" I felt a headache, "you're saying he would be biting me after he shags me?"

"just a theory"

"Bloody hell, he was only cheating on me, and you're talking about biting?"

hard to believe mum encouraged Rose to stay, and sleep over, I already felt ease.

Number of tears left in my eyes: 0, number of times the picture of a stark naked women came through my head: 20, number of times I tried remembering if James had fangs: 10, number of boyfriends:0.

December 8th 2007 Saturday

9:15- I just woke up and when I saw Rose sleeping next to me I remembered what happened last night, Still feel awful but not as bad as yesterday.

11:00- Rose and I are going shopping for Christmas, which would definitely change my mood.

15:30- the Christmas shopping was great and it kind of cheered me up until I was trying few clothes on, and felt how fat I was, then remembered how skinny was that stark naked woman on James's bed. We immediately went back home.

A new resolution: loose a thousand pound.

Should make resolutions for the new year.

18:00- Alice just came (she heard what happened) and brought a movie to cheer me up; Pirates of the Caribbean.

"oh, babe" she started, "I knew James was a scandalous from the first second I met him"

"really?"

"yeah, but I couldn't tell you that, you actually liked him"

"really?"

"Bells, he doesn't deserve you, you deserve something better"

"like what? a zombie?"

"no"

"then? A pirate?"

"yeah, you deserve someone who's like Johnny Depp, or Orlando Bloom"