A/N: If this was Livejournal, I could have my lovely 'Oh noes!' icon out, because this is a little more angst. I'm sorry. Perhaps it is best accompanied by chocolate in some form. The idea here was inspired by the book 'Dear Nobody' by Berlie Doherty, where a pregnant teenager writes letters to her unborn child to come to terms with what's happening. Thank yous to all reviewers and readers, and most especially to my wonderful beta-reader ladyofthelight101. If you like LotR and HP and good original work, check her out!

Made of Love

My sweetheart,

I don't know why I'm writing to you of all people, but I need to talk to someone right now and my parents are in bed, because it's six in the morning. I won't give you this letter anyway, but still. Notice I'm already calling you 'sweetheart'...you may look like a sea monkey or something at the moment, but I can't help loving you. 'Sweetheart' sounds cheesy, I know, but I guess it's better than...'angel'. Before this happened I was having fantasies about who you're going to be, because you could be anything at all in the future, it's amazing. Maybe someday you'll change the world; you've certainly already changed mine. I hope above all that you'll be a friend and a lover. I don't mean that in the usual sense...shame as it would be if you had no lovers in your life. I hope someone will love you and that you will love that someone, and that you live long enough to do so for a long time. If...not...you have me. And...that's it, so far.

Most couples aren't sure exactly when their babies were made, probably because they were trying for one at the time. But I know when you came about, because your father and I most certainly weren't. We had just married that very day and we stumbled into our bedroom like love struck fools and made love. Maybe it was just the wine, the buzz of summer and the wonderful man who'd just pledged himself to me, but at the time it was the best night of my life.

Now, though, I can't think about my wedding day without getting a lump in my throat. I thought the day your father and I married, and the night we 'consummated our vows' would bundle everything together perfectly and our souls would be...bonded. Forever and ever. I mean I already felt bonded to him but that day, I hoped, would make everything real, and fixed, and I wouldn't have to lose him again.

Except now I realise it hasn't. Nothing has changed (apart from my situation, of course). The man I married has decided that somehow 'love and cherish her' means 'leave her'. He left just now, about an hour ago to be precise, so I'm in our, or rather my bed writing a rambling letter to you and trying not to cry. For I'm pretty sure there's a Death Eater or two lurking outside our house and...forget that.

Godric, what am I doing. I'm just writing everything that's in my head without stopping. What is the purpose of this letter, except driving myself nearer and nearer to crying? I don't want to cry, and the reason why I don't want to cry isn't because I don't like it...I've done enough over the years to give up the idea that it won't help me. I'm in the mood for some serious hysterics, to be quite honest. It's that I don't want to hurt you, because if something happened to you because of the stress, I'd never forgive your father.

I want you to know that, despite appearances, you, like so many other children and adults, come from love. You began in a union of pure happiness, a moment when nothing in the world mattered because everything was there. Not just bodies; our minds and souls were completely united for a moment. I hope, no, I know, that for that reason you're going to be a very special person.

I wish I could say that your father and I were still united. I love him so much and I know he does love me despite his stupid Gryffindor martyr complex. But actually, I guess we are, because you exist. You're a combination of everything we've ever felt and hoped and wanted and loved. You are health and life and spirit in a tiny pure form. I was worried about having you but now, you mean everything.

Though being conceived was not your choice and it was not ours either, I thank you and whatever divine power there is that it happened.

Because if it hadn't, I couldn't have held back my tears until the end of this letter.

All my love, and thanks,

Your Mum