ghikiJ: This is the second interlude chapter before we continue onto the next Act. This particular one was supposed to be only for Tumblr, but since it contains a lot of story plot points, we decided to upload it here on FFN as well. And for those who will be wondering by the time they finish reading this, the full version is available at our Tumblr blog, trialsofkaguya. Join us there if you're an EliUmi fan!
Athyra: -giggles- ahem. As always, thanks for reading and any feedback is appreciated! Stay tuned for Act III next!
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Interlude 2
Side B - A Candle in the Night
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A candle's flame was a fragile and withering thing, so easily snuffed out by the slightest of breezes. But that was what made it so fascinating, was it not? For something so effortlessly killed, this tiny torch was still able to defy the darkness and chase away the shadows of the night. The candle reminded Eli about many things, most of them sinister and saddening, but it also reminded her of courage, the will to cast the unknown away. Sadly, she had never quite outgrown her fear of darkness, even though she had mastered the art of not showing it. Even now, she could feel her fingers tremble in fear.
Looking out through the veranda's doors, Eli lamented the moon's absence. While there was a sliver of it that peeked from the sky's dark curtain, it was not enough to ease her mind so she hoped that the celestial body would wax sooner. Having a bright sentinel in the blackness would ease her fears and perhaps also aid Nozomi in warding off evil. They had enough enemies as it was.
"Here is your tea," her dependable companion said as a cup was served in front of her.
"Thanks," Eli smiled as she watched Umi sit next to her by the table and wordlessly pour herself some tea as well. It seemed like both of them had been lost in their own thoughts since they heard Nozomi's cryptic message. Regretfully, not thinking about it was difficult to do, especially since there were rather disturbing points dotting the high priestess' insights.
"Eli... about what Nozomi had told us…" The younger woman stared hard at the rippling surface of her drink, "What do you think it means?"
The blonde frowned, "I've never been good at interpreting her visions. She merely says what she sees, and there are times when she tells me that even she doesn't know what they mean." She paused to sip her steaming drink before looking at the candle once more, "The sun, the star, and the tower… I have seen those symbols on those foreign cards she always keeps around, but other than that, my guess is as good as yours."
"Great changes that will cause a great upheaval, leaderless strength, and tyranny… those words worry me." Umi said quietly, as if she did not want to admit her fears despite the turbulence in her eyes.
"Those are indeed fearful words, I agree," Eli sighed, "But it might be wise not to try to unravel them when we know so little about the future. I'm sure Nozomi would let us know if there is a calamity about to befall us."
"But…"
"But?"
Umi shook her head and took a deep breath, her amber eyes seemingly glittering as she stared at the candles on the table. "The upheaval might already be upon us and we do not know that it is coming or when. Perhaps it has already begun… the prince's death has weakened us greatly and his leadership is sorely missed. However…" She looked at Eli worriedly and glanced at her shoulder, "You have stepped in and tried to fill his shoes to the best of your abilities, and I…"
The general smiled and leaned an elbow on the table. "Umi, even if I die tomorrow, I have no qualms about your ability to take my place. If you did not take your current station as a royal guard, I might be the one saluting to you instead." Eli sheepishly chuckled at the dark look the raven-haired woman gave her. So in order to appease Umi's fears, she continued, "Kaguya will never be leaderless. There are too many good and capable people here. Hmm… like Honoka, for example."
"Honoka shines brightly only because you polished her well," the captain retorted and then frowned thoughtfully. "She is a good soldier, an exceptional sword, and an outstanding inspiration for the troops, but she could never be a leader like you, who can command men and outwit the enemy. As for myself… I was never meant to lead." Umi carefully placed her cup on the table and rested her hands on her lap, "I spent all my life following Honoka's overzealous energy and your insurmountable shadow."
"Have I not told you that you have long surpassed me?" Eli teased, although she spoke the truth. The raven-haired woman was the better sword between the two of them, and she was perhaps the best bow in the land. "Besides, I don't want to think about what my absence would bring to my country because I don't want to charge into battle thinking that I should not fight with everything I have. That is a faster way to die, the easiest mistake a commander can make. Fear has its uses, but not in orchestrating a battle."
Seeing that Umi remained incredulous, the blonde woman reached over and tenderly stroked the fretful captain's cheek with her knuckles, "This is why premonition doesn't mix well with you, Umi. You ponder about all the possible outcomes too much. Nozomi never mentioned that the clause referred to me at all."
"You know you are the only leader most of us would follow. Who else could it possibly be? She had said that Strength without direction is a weakness…"
"And authority can become tyranny without inner strength," Eli finished the thought for her companion. "It doesn't necessarily mean that there is death involved."
"Yet, sacrifices must be made," Umi trailed off before she pressed her lips into a thin line. "M-my apologies, I am going on in circles."
The blonde chuckled fondly as she stood up, "Leave the riddles to Nozomi, ne? Thinking about it too much will distract you from what needs to be done. We all have roles to play, and dismantling a prophetic verse isn't one of them."
As much as Eli did her best to dissuade Umi from Nozomi's visions, she could not help but also think about what her friend had told them. Of course, she realized that she knew too little to make any conclusions about the near future, but she definitely understood where Umi's fears were coming from. Nine fates have been intertwined, but what did that mean exactly? A tower ruined, a shining star, a reckless sun, a world holding its breath and a decision that hung upon a noose. All these meant so little to her given her limited knowledge. However, she understood inner strength and sound leadership, for those were two things that she had to excel at in order to keep her men alive.
And she had worked hard to achieve those qualities.
Eli leaned against the wooden post on the porch that overlooked the vast torch-lit courtyards of the castle. She thought back on her youth and the challenges that molded her into who she was today. She recalled her military training, the terrifying first few missions, and the bitter defeats she had suffered in order to make her later triumphs that much brighter. She thought of the dark night, her grandmother's frantic visage, and the wild chase through the woods on terrified mounts. Even now, the memories chilled her to the core, but she still made herself stand amidst the darkness because that was how she learned to defeat fear. Nevertheless, her cold hands continued to shake. They would always tremble no matter how hard she worked to keep her heart from racing.
"I should not make you bear the burdens of my fears," Umi murmured softly as she joined her by the door.
Eli chuckled mirthfully, helplessly recalling a much younger Umi who seemed to be afraid of everything. Back then, the girl was a lot easier to read because her emotions were displayed on her sleeves. "I think you should. I kind of miss doing so." Her laughter died down and was replaced with a simple smile as her companion leaned against her back. "Well…" the blonde mused after a moment, "I suppose this is something that hasn't changed. You're still more honest when I have my back turned towards you."
"I do not know what you are talking about." Umi retorted as she rested a hand on the general's uninjured shoulder, her voice slightly muffled by the latter's clothes. "But Eli…"
"Hmm?"
"I am sorry. I should probably speak to Nozomi about it."
The blonde looked up at the silver sliver on the night sky. "That would be best," she giggled, "though don't be surprised if she just confuses you further. She tends to be like that sometimes. I remember having to bribe her with meat skewers to have her tell my fortune. She just said that it wasn't my day."
She felt and heard Umi's quiet laughter, "Nozomi had done similar antics to me as well."
"You actually bribed her?"
"N-no… I believe she does it on purpose. She enjoys teasing me."
It was Eli's turn to laugh, "I think we all enjoy teasing you."
"You spend too much time with Honoka and Kotori. It seems like teasing me is everyone's favorite pastime."
"As I recall, you're the royal guard, not me, captain. I am guilty of spending time with Honoka, however, given our occupations. And there isn't a day in which you're not in one of our conversations." A comfortable silence befell the two women, a much sought reprieve from the heavy atmosphere that the priestess had bestowed upon them with her words. "She worries a lot about you, you know?"
"Honoka?"
Eli nodded, "She works hard to ease the weight on your shoulders. Whenever she sees you struggle, she works even harder. Didn't you say that you considered each other as rivals even though you are best of friends? She still keeps that sentiment to heart even after all these years."
"I recall conversing with her about that when we started training…" Umi trailed off quietly, her voice like soft velvet near the blonde's ear. "So she still remembers."
"You're an inspiration, Umi."
"I am not worthy of being called that." The raven-haired captain rebutted, "I-I am incapable of doing so many things, while I am awkward on others. All I can do is to try to reach everyone's expectations to the best of my abilities, and you know how I have failed on several occasions."
Eli touched Umi's hand on her shoulder, "That discipline to improve oneself is a source of strength… for Honoka, and for me. Though I suppose I am at an advantage, seeing that you provide me with more than mere inspiration."
"I cannot imagine what someone like me can possible give you when it is I who look up to you."
"Oh, you'd be surprised, captain."
You give me courage.
"It might be wise if I deploy my men alongside yours and Honoka's next time," Umi's sudden words of utmost severity surprised the general. The Captain of the Royal Guard rarely left the capital, for her primary responsibility was to keep the Empress' peace, and make sure that Kaguya was orderly and safe for its citizens. She was not obligated to fight in military battles that occurred on the border.
"Umi, if this is about my injury again…" The general chided gently.
"I know that it is relatively minor and that you have suffered far direr wounds before, but… I feel like watching you leave again will never give me peace. The battles are becoming more dangerous and Toudou Erena is at large. I-I should be with you and Honoka."
"No," Eli responded calmly but firmly, "Your place is by Kotori-hime's side. She needs you more than I do, especially with her mother so ill. She doesn't simply need a guard, she needs a friend that can always be there."
The captain was silent for a while, perhaps mincing her thoughts and weighing her words. However, the blonde felt Umi's hands slide down her back and snake around her middle, embracing her from behind. "I-I suppose you are right. I know my place, and I know Kotori's distress," she murmured after several shaky breaths, her voice murky with unsaid emotions, "Yet, when I think that I could be with you and Honoka on the battlefield, watching your back, I grow restless. Whenever either of you return wounded… I cannot help but think that I could have been there and…"
Though Umi did not finish her thoughts, Eli knew exactly what she meant. To yearn for what could be, to think of what should have happened, and what could have been changed, were painful. It could leaden an already heavy heart and turn anxiousness into physical agony. Yes, she definitely knew the sentiment and she was not a stranger to its torment. Many times she had thought her heart would break because of it.
"You know one of the reasons why Honoka, Kotori and I worked so hard was because we wanted to follow you, the person we admired the most as children. As we learned more about our stations, we admired you even more. When you were at your lowest, we strived to fill your shoes. We wanted nothing more than to see you ride again and be that amazing person we idolized. I-I guess I want to protect that, to protect you."
Eli averted her blue gaze from the moon and lowered it to the ground as she rested her good arm over Umi's. She chuckled at what the younger woman had said, remembering the days of her youth when she watched over and taught three girls how to ride horses. Back then, she could never have imagined what those three would be in the future. Honoka was not the White Knight yet and was simply the Sonoda daughter's playmate, while Kotori was still an innocent girl who loved alpacas and did not have to worry about a whole kingdom. Umi was a far cry from who she was today. A shy and timid girl, she spent most summer days hiding, getting dragged by Honoka to do something fun, or looking after Arisa, who was barely out of toddlerhood at the time. Eli never thought she would have such affections for her as an adult, no matter how complicated things were for them.
The blonde smiled to herself as her companion continued to fumble with her words. "Careful, you might suddenly say that you love me and not realize that you did. I don't know how I'll be able to take that, captain." Indeed, a long forgotten dream resurfaced at the thought of those words that they could not voice.
Umi stilled at the statement, her fingers slowly clenching around Eli's night yukata, before she shifted behind her, hiding her face into the latter's unbound golden tresses.
The action somewhat made the general feel a little guilty, so she chuckled sheepishly, "I tease, Umi."
The raven-haired woman mumbled something so softly that Eli was unable to discern what she had said. Whatever it was though, it did not seem that she was upset. On the contrary, her embrace tightened around the blonde and she stayed that way for a while, despite the cruel joke.
"I'm sorry," Eli said quietly. "I shouldn't have said that."
Umi shook her head against the taller woman's back and responded, "Your hands are cold."
Blue eyes blinked in quick succession. The general had held her lover's hand in her own, relishing its warmth, and she used the reassuring gesture to forget her fear of darkness. She had overlooked her own little tell.
"Afraid?" The raven-haired woman behind her asked as she interlaced their fingers together.
"I'm afraid of many things," Eli replied as she brought Umi's hand to her lips, kissing it affectionately. "Do you think being afraid is shameful?"
"That is a good question."
"I don't think it is. Not anymore anyway."
The blonde turned around and ducked down to capture the captain's lips with her own. It was merely a chaste peck on the lips, but Eli still felt its sweetness rush through her veins. She smiled, "Don't worry, ne? Everything will turn out just fine."
Though still a bit stunned by the sudden kiss, Umi's expression became softer and the tautness of her worried face relaxed as she nodded. "In that case, I will go ahead and see you to bed before I leave. You still need to rest."
"There you go again…" Eli did not even bother muting her amusement, "Remind me which one of us is older? I am a few years your senior yet here you are about to tuck me into bed."
Despite the blonde's giggles, Umi remained steadfast and carefully pulled her companion inside the room. She guided Eli towards her futon before turning around to close the doors in order to make sure that the chill would not be able to enter during the small hours of the night. The blonde chuckled in exasperation, but did what she was instructed to and crawled onto her mattress.
"You'd make such an excellent wife," Eli shamelessly pointed out as Umi picked up their cups and set them aside. "You're so dutiful and very sweet when you want to be."
The raven-haired woman frowned but she did not show if she was annoyed by the prospect. "I have sworn off marriage the moment I swore myself to the Guard, you know this."
"Yes, of course. A royal guard is married to no one but the crown. Though your oath certainly didn't take the qualities away."
Umi merely hummed thoughtfully, pointedly dismissing the teasing comment. However, the blonde could tell that there was a small smile that crinkled her eyes. "Should I keep the candles lit?"
Eli stared at the only source of light in the room, steeling herself for the darkness that followed its demise. She then shook her head, "You can go on ahead and extinguish them."
The younger woman did just that. Suddenly, it was as if they were bathing in a black abyss. It took a while for the blonde's vision to adjust, but even then, it was difficult to distinguish anything but shapes. Because of this, she instinctively turned to sensing her surroundings using her ki, which allowed her to somewhat envision what her naked eye could not see. She sensed Umi's aura, a placid shroud of ocean blue that churned chaotically beneath the surface. It seemed like the younger woman was a lot more troubled than she showed. In spite of that though, Eli felt comforted by her presence.
"You had your bandages changed, correct?" Umi's deep voice hinted her location, kneeling just beside the older woman's sitting form.
"Of course," Eli replied, "I was quite ready for bed when you knocked on my door."
"I am sorry for keeping you up then. Should I help you remove your sling? Surely, you would not be able to sleep with it on." Even though she asked for permission, Umi just wordlessly and distractedly assisted her with untying the support so that she would be able to sleep comfortably. She even neatly folded it beside her pillow so that it would be within reach the next morning.
"Arigatou, Umi." Eli said fondly as she rested her injured limb on her lap and watched as the younger woman thoughtfully pulled the blanket over her legs. Normally, she did not like the idea of Umi doing such menial things for her, but tonight she just let it be, knowing that her worrywart captain would only fuss even more. Once she was comfortably prepared for slumber, the blonde reached over and pressed her lips on Umi's temple, hoping that the affectionate gesture would at least give the raven-haired woman some peace of mind to rest as well.
"Oyasumi."
A tender kiss was then planted on her lips in response, tentative yet almost loving. She smiled into it, savoring the slow movements of their mouths against each other. Umi very rarely initiated physical contact at all, let alone one so romantic, so Eli indulged in it, cupping the former's cheek with her hand and thumbing the familiar outline of her jawline. She melded into the kiss until the dark night was reduced to nothing more than an afterthought.
When they parted, Umi's breaths were a tad heavier than what they had been, which gave her already resonant voice the husky note that Eli had always loved to hear.
"Oyasumi…"
The blonde traced her lover's lower lip with her thumb, seemingly deaf to the farewell that the other had uttered. She was no fool. She knew when Umi was holding something back, and tonight the dark-haired woman was hesitant. She would have stood up already if she was not so troubled.
"If you want to stay here for the night…" she whispered against Umi's mouth, her voice thick with yearning. "All you need to do is say so."
"Eli…"
She would be lying if she denied being surprised at the forceful kiss that suddenly followed. Her lover had always been the unsure one, so much so that there were times when she thought that Umi would need to ask permission just to hold her hand. And there had been instances when the younger woman did just that, especially back when they were just starting out and dancing on and around eggshells. So the blonde was definitely unused to Umi taking the lead and being so determined, almost single-minded. Yet all she could think about was the smoldering mouth against her own, and how desperately vulnerable she felt when her back landed on the soft cushion of her futon with Umi's body hovering warmly on top of hers.
Even the lack of air did not dissuade them from exhibiting long hidden emotions and desires. They only parted because of amorous purpose, lips searching and showering tenderness on each other's jaws and necks while hands fastidiously felt the goosebumps that were elicited by their lustful excitement. Then, as if suddenly sober, Umi pushed herself up, hovering over Eli as she used her arms as supports. She chased after her breaths, her face flushed with desire despite the great uncertainty in her eyes.
"I-I apologize… we should not, I…"
Eli barely registered the stammered phrases, but when she did, she let out a small laugh. "My sweet and beautiful Umi." She reached up with both arms to cradle the dark-haired woman's face in her palms. Shoulder wound be damned. "Do you really intend to leave me be after a kiss like that?"
"I do not want to hurt you."
The blonde brushed away the raven fringe from her lover's forehead to uncover Umi's warm amber eyes. Though the moonlight was dim, the captain's gaze was like a steady ember, like resolute candles that the night's darkness could never seem to extinguish. They stared at her intensely then, shining in a manner that could be considered loving. The general wistfully made herself believe that those sentiments were what Umi's gaze held, especially when it roamed her disheveled hair and loosened clothing, but she could never fool herself for long. The relationship they shared remained unlabeled, though sadly, both of them were too afraid to give it a name. All they knew was that they craved each other's company and companionship, while in darker times like these, they sought each other for their physical needs.
"You can't hurt me," Eli said quietly. She was almost horrified at how beseeching she sounded, but she was certain of what she wanted. "I'm not made of glass."
She wanted Umi to stay.
They were fools for certain, playing with fire like this.
But I'm the bigger fool.
"Eli…" Umi's eyes grew darker as if a demon of desire had gnawed away at her self-restraint. Her lips quivered as the blonde's fingertips drew wispy line down her face and neck, only to slip under the folds of her nightwear.
"Have I ever told you that your eyes were beautiful?" Eli asked with coy smile as she peeled her partner's yukata from pale shoulders. "Sometimes I think I can see myself reflected in them, but perhaps it's a little too dark for that tonight."
Umi slowly shook her head, "You are all I see."
"Then stay. Be my candle, ne?"
Be my light.
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When morning came, Eli did not want to open her eyes for their lids seemed so heavy. Besides, she felt tired, pleasantly so, with her body so relaxed and at ease. She did not want to get up and, more than anything, she wanted the dawn to stand still. It was truly ironic because she disliked the night and its darkness, but it was only under its cover that she and Umi could embrace like this. When the sun rose, they were general and captain again, colleagues, friends, but never lovers.
It was unfair.
Eli stifled a yawn and turned to her right to find Umi pillowed on her arm and sleeping soundly. The latter was hugging her waist, while one of her legs was perched over the blonde's thigh. Knowing Umi, she must have fallen asleep like this and never moved. Umi was such a steady sleeper after all, known for not making a single crease on her blankets. For her to be so close and intimate, she must have snuggled herself against Eli's side before drifting off to sleep. The thought warmed the blonde's heart, so much that she could not refrain from gently kissing Umi's forehead.
She spent the remaining moments of dawn simply watching the younger woman sleep. She studied the smallest detail on Umi's face, from the way her eyelashes interlaced, to the absence of that knot on her brow that seemed to be constantly there during her waking hours. She memorized these little things, because it was only in these moments that Umi was completely hers.
Tenderly, she stroked the sleeping woman's cheek with her knuckles, brushing away the midnight strands of hair from her face. The sun was peeking from the east now, bathing Umi with a soft and muted light that made the paleness of her complexion glow with warmth. She seemed to have sensed the brightness too, for she shifted minutely to shield her eyes by snuggling closer and hiding her face against the crook of the taller woman's neck. The blonde could only blink and chuckle quietly in response, shifting herself to make Umi more comfortable. For a moment, she thought the younger woman would wake already because she was known to be an early riser, but when her breathing evened out again, it seemed like that would not be the case.
"You really have no idea how adorable you are, do you?" Eli murmured sleepily as she nuzzled the top of Umi's head. "You scarcely know... you barely notice, despite it all. Or... do you just not want to say it? Is there... anything at all, I wonder?"
She rubbed her lover's upper arm to warm it before pulling the blanket over their shoulders.
"I love you, you know?" The blonde whispered upon deaf ears. "It's okay to say it, right? It's fine to say it... when you can't hear. Hmm..." She chuckled dejectedly, "Ah, I hope you are really still asleep. I shouldn't..."
Eli almost pitied herself, talking about her unvoiced feelings to a person who was temporarily dead to the world. When Umi woke, she would have to don the teasing mask she always wore, to hide these well-guarded emotions and simply brush off their relationship as something meaningless and shallow. The thought hurt her sometimes, but she endured it for the person she loved.
Defiantly, the blonde clenched her eyes shut, thinking that perhaps if she fell asleep again, they could go on their usual days with Umi waking up first and leaving. They could go on with their day as benign friends who teased each other about mundane nothings. But sleep had become elusive. All Eli had now was the woman in her arms and the desire to just be happy. Was she allowed to be happy and content, even for a moment?
She's mine right now.
And so Eli inhaled deeply and simply immersed herself in the moment. She kissed the crown of Umi's head one more time as she softly hummed a melody to lull her beloved captain into deeper slumber. She would do this whenever she could, when Umi had been tired enough that she was unable to wake so early and leave before the blonde roused. She sung for her, even though her voice broke, just to keep her for a while longer.
Right now, embraced against my chest are dreams
the future, and amorous feelings.
The precious thing we almost left behind
We shall recover it.
You and I and the autumn sky...
...
Immersed in the now, letting out a faint sigh,
hiding this feeling within my heart
It was a song from their youth, one of the few Eli had written to assist Umi in her song-writing. Most of those songs were never finished, but the blonde remembered them. They were precious words and it was a great waste to let them fade from existence. She had even finished a handful of them without Umi's knowledge. She was truly hopelessly sentimental, wasn't she?
"Eli…?" The younger woman murmured against her collarbone several minutes later.
"Hmm?" She continued humming as she nuzzled her nose against Umi's hair.
"Go back to sleep."
Eli chuckled quietly, "I'm sorry if I woke you."
The raven-haired beauty made a little noise under her breath and huffed, her eyes never opening during the whole exchange. "Rest," She muttered.
"I'd rather watch you sleep."
"Rest."
Sighing in defeat, Eli closed her eyes. She truly needed rest but she also did not want to waste the precious time she had with her lover. Fortunately, it did not seem like Umi was in a hurry to rouse either due to her sleepy drawl. In fact, the younger woman resettled herself beside her and relaxed once more. Eli even thought that the captain had fallen asleep again, if not for the soft sigh and mumbled words she had said.
"I have always loved that song... your voice… but for now, heal first. Sleep."
Eli smiled against dark hair.
"Yes, ma'am."