A.N.- I am truly sorry for taking this long to update... T.T It's just that I couldn't bring myself to like the approach I was taking with this chapter. I wrote it like four times, (this is the fifth) and I wasn't convinced with it. I'm still not sure.
But HELL! here goes nothing.
Disclaimer: Obviously I have no rights over Gintama or any of it's characters. I simply own this poorly written, crappy fanfiction =D
" Some things never change "
10th Chapter
A month ago while traveling with Papi, she thought that is was about time to return to Edo, ' just for some time... '. Three years had gone by so fast, she was having such a good time hunting around the Galaxy with her father. But she was already missing her second family, and all the friends she had left behind, dearly. And she would never let anyone know, that she was also running. The results of her training sessions were unsettling her, to the point that she was afraid to continue any further, and so she made the decision to leave, and hide for a while.
Baldy was hard, not accepting the idea of parting ways with her again, more so if it meant that she would be getting back to that " Lazy ass, not short on hair, silver permed and broke samurai ", as he simply put it. Of course Kagura ended up persuading him, after some meaningless threats and questionable brain washing, she got the best of him. He had only one condition, no arguments, it was final.
The condition: A nice, cozy house by the river, consisting of one story, divided into five divisions. Bedroom, Kitchen, Bathroom, Living room and a Kotatsu room with double shoji doors, that open to a beautiful backyard with a pond on the center and a size XXXL doggy house on the left side, surrounded on all sides by a wooden fence, a meter high.
The house was unusually silent, and it wasn't due to the late hours. The two occupants were inside the Kotatsu room, staring trough the open sliding door, watching the rain fall. Sadaharu was sprawled under the traditional heater table, surprisingly fitting in, with his head rested on his front paws and a sad look upon his snout. Right beside him, snuggled against his soft white fur, seeking any sort of protection and comfort, from the warmth and company they shared, lay a slim, pale skinned, orange haired, young girl. Her bright blue orbs were puffed and red from all the crying she had indulged, trough out the night, staring blankly outside, lost in thought.
She had arrived over three hours ago, from those scumbags HeadQuarters. It had looked like a good plan at first, to sneak in that sadistic douche bedroom, and finally be able to see him for herself, but now she wasn't so sure, ' What the hell was I thinking... What was all that?... What did I do!... '. After crying, for what felt like the billionth time in this hellish week, " Why am I even reacting this way? He could have died for all I care. ", her heart tightened at the thought, ' Stupid Sadist... What have you done to me... ', she was rethinking every thing that had happen.
She could perfectly picture the bastard who plagued her thoughts, leaned against the door frame of his room, breathing deeply and looking very uncomfortable, the scratches and bruises were fading by now, but the arm in the cast was a present remainder of their fight. Watching him stumbling across the dark room to his futon, like he could barely stand, and immediately fall asleep, " He looked so.. weak and in pain Sadaharu. He didn't even notice that I was there", she started talking to the dog, the only one she was willing to confide with. Closing her eyes she could see him, as if she was right there again, his carefree sleeping form, the unusual, peaceful and serene face, ' He looked like a little brat, exhausted from playing outside all day long... ' she slightly smile at that, a bubbling sensation warming up in her, the even rhythm of his breathing, how soothing it had felt for her, to see with her own eyes the rise and fall, rise and fall of his chest, " That was all I needed, yes " she sighed contended, and his hair, those sandy bangs all messed up on his pillow, " He looked Han-Handsome, but don't let him know that I said this, yes ".
And without notice the hours had pass by, and he was awoke, his annoying voice as rough as his words " As always, kuso gaki! [1]" she exclaimed. Bringing her back from her reverie, and she realized too late that she had stayed for far too long, and his expressionless stupid face was back as well. He seemed alright, way better than she had dared to expect, ' Yokatta...[2]' she allowed herself to feel relieved, when he had walked in looking so beat, she had felt a pang in her heart, was it " Guilt? never. Worry? as if. Aaaaaaahh I don't know, yes ".
He wasn't friendly, ' He was never friendly to her...', and why would he be? Giving the situation they were in. She knew that it would be better not to upset him, or piss him of for that matter like she usually did, not just because he was still recovering and most likely shouldn't strain himself, but for her, she had to keep cool, to remain in control, going ballistic on him again, was definetely not an option. To play it safe, she would let his mockery pass and would not over react to his bad mouthing. They talked, mostly teased each other, he sounded mad at times and annoyed, she didn't expect any different reaction from him, for all that was worth the Pridefull Sadist had lost, to her. Everything seemed fine, until he started to spat out offences and harsh words, ' Just like when they fought... '
She was controlling herself pretty well, " I really was yes ". His words hurt, she was used to them, but somehow right now they felt sharper, like they were cutting trough her, she was also getting tired of being called monster, beast, freak, ugly, bitch " Every goddamned time ", even when he called her by her race it sounded like an insult, ' Does he really mean all that... ', her restraint was shaking and threatening to break at every word he spoke. She let him threw it all out of his chest and right in her face, " I owe him that much ne ", and she never reacted nor retorted, not until he threatened to call out for someone to assist him, " As if I was some kind of criminal! Can you believe it Sadaharu " she huffed.
She freaked out, completely. " How wouldn't I? ". She was sure the first one to rush to the Sadist cry for help ' as if he was defenseless... ', would've been that " Damned walking Chimney ", she growled. It was true that she was to blame in this mess, but hell that Mayora was taking his new found hate for her to the extreme here! She had been obsessed, " More like a blind determination, yes ", from the moment that it downed on her that she had most likely killed the Shinsengumi Captain, she had felt the urge and need to see him. He had close his eyes in front of her, he had stop breathing in front of her, the world had literally collapsed beneath her feet at that moment, drawning her in guilt, " It was his fault. I didn't even wanted to fight, yes ". She was desperate to see him ' Breath... Just breathing... ' but that demon vice-commander never let her in. The first time she tried, Gin-chan and Megane went with her, the guy didn't even bother to hear her out, the next day she went there with Anego, they were sure that if Hijikata said no, Gorilla would say yes, ' I was so wrong... '.
Not only did Kondo Isao refuse a request from Otae, he also refuse to leave the room to speak with her " The world must be ending ". No matter how much she pleaded to the raven haired, he would not bend, and she was losing hope, she felt defeated. To prove how screwed and shaken she was about all this shit, and to show how serious her intentions were " I BEGGED! ON MY KNEES, YES " she screeched, she kneeled down in the middle of the Edo Hospital lobby, and she begged. The pridefull Yato bowed her head to a freaking tax robber, and she begged, and pleaded, and promised, not to hurt, not to touch, ' Just to look... It was all I wanted... '. To no avail, as she was politely escorted outside with an explicit warning, to not set foot no where near their Captain or drastic measures would be taken. " I,ll freaking kill him one of these days, yes! ".
And he did not lie about that. The next day she was done playing by the rules, she desperately needed to see the stupid Gaki, she didn't knew why that was, she looked like crap, everyone was worried about her, she couldn't sleep nor eat, and she love to do both! She sneak in the Hospital facilities, and not so honestly, she borrowed a nurse uniform, " I was definitely out of my mind ", and started her quest to find a certain comatose prince of sadists. She was nearing his room, her head was light and her heart was heavy, she could she the sign with his name next to the slightly open door ' O.k.i.t.a.S.o.u.g.o... ' she mentally spelled it tasting the sound of his name, she made a move to grab the door knob, she was breathing hard and feeling anxious, when something cold, grazed her neck from behind, stopping her on her tracks. " I warned you yesterday Yato, lock her up " she gave in to despair, this man should love her, not hate her, she had taken down the guy that was constantly plotting to kill him. " So close. I was so freaking close ". She spent the next two days behind bars, until Gin-chan finally came up with the necessary amount of money to bail her out, not without letting her know that it was a one time situation, if it were to happen again he would not be so kind again, ' As if... Useless substitution of a father... '.
And then there he was, bashing her once more, pissed at her, irritated, angry, being the " Same Jerkass as ever, yes " she thought annoyed. And there she was, having a major breakdown, like she was ' some kind of mentaly disturbed person... ', blurting it all out, her frustrations and despair, like a crazy woman, to a guy that didn't give a shit about her problems, even if he was her problem, raising his voice little by little, until he actually called her out, loud enough to give them out. She snapped, freaking out with the idea of that mayonnaise addict, bursting in, barking and taking her away again, she would not let that happen, not now that she had finally made it, to talk to him, to see him, to be with him. Out of reflex, she did the only think she thought would prevent that from happen.
" I jumped on him yes ", she literally did. He was sited on his futon, and she straddled him, sitting on his lap and covering his mouth with her right hand, her left one was by her lips, forming the universal sign for silence. During all this stressful situation, her restraint over her lustful Yato nature had loosen and was slowly slipping from her control, she knew that anything now, could trigger her again. By the way he was attentively staring into her eyes, she was sure that he was aware of it too, " I thought I was so screwed then, yes ". Being the Sadist she knew he was, he would do anything in his power to push her over the edge, mercilessly. His larger hand took hold of her smaller one, softly freeing his mouth, and moved his head forward, ' Headbutt coming... ' she thought, but he simply leaned his forehead on hers, never breaking eye contact. ' What was he thinking... '. She felt calm instantly, but it didn't last long.
" They freaking investigated me, yes " she shrieked, still engaging in a one sided conversation with Sadaharu. She couldn't care less about control when she found that, she felt distrusted, violated, betrayed really, ' the nerve... '. She tried to punch him in the face, she wanted him to feel her rage, and that's when things got complicated, weird. He grab hold of her fist, and even tough he was supposed to be out of commission and appeared to be wasted, " He was definitely not! ". He flipped her over, making her fall on her back, pinning her arms above her head and straddling her, just like she had done to him. She never fought back nor tried to. Their eyes were locked and he was actually " Giving me explanations. That's not like him yes ".
At one point he bent his head till his lips were next to her ear, she could feel his warm breath, prickling and caressing her neck, she felt goosebumps all over her skin, and a shiver run down her spine ' F-Fu-Fuck... The hell was that... ' she thought, remembering the pleasant sensations she had experience, as if it was happening all over again. He called her name again, " My real name, yes ", that made her happy somehow. She melted at that, the mixture of His voice saying Her name had strange effects within her, one of them being the soothing feeling it had over her craving warrior, the one she kept hidden. She felt overpowered by him, not in a bad way, defenseless, also incredibly safe and thrilled, " How can that be... ", the moment he lift his head, his crimson eyes were all that she could see, she felt hypnotized by them, something was different, " There was this fire, a flame in them ", she didn't understand what it meant.
" I-I kissed h-him, yes. I-I did ", she said raising her hand to her lips ' They were soft... And tasted really good... ', she blushed at the thought. After her bold move, things escalated pretty quickly. She could feel his every touch almost ghost like, his hand on the small of her back, his lips on hers with an unknown hunger. ' He was kissing me back... ', she just realized, remembering how his body had felt on her hands, and then his raw skin under her fingertips, she was excited, she was beyond herself, until she traced the outline of something she dread to find, she froze, feeling him flinch above her, and stopped. Those stitches were her fault ' I did this to him... ', she could still see the bloodied body on the ground, the sword pierced trough his midsection, dripping blood ' So much blood... And my hands... '.
" He flinched yes, that means I hurt him " she whispered embracing the giant dog. She walked out after that, ashamed of herself, how could she be allowed to do such things and ' actually enjoy them... ', when she had been the one to inflict such injury to him, " I have no right, I did that with my own hands, yes ", he had called her monster so many times before, and he was right, she never cared much about it, " He was true all along, I am a monster ", and that's how she came to her current predicament. She felt utterly confused with herself, " He's of absolutely no good use, yes ", they had fight so many times in the past, why was the outcome of that one battle, so different, so heavy on her, ' He nearly died... That's the fucking difference...'. She didn't had any sort of feeling for him, good or bad it was only, annoyance, disgust, rivalry. " He's nothing to me. So why the hell do I care, this much ", they weren't friends, they could barely be considered acquaintances, " Really, what's with one less sadistic bastard in Edo? ".
Ever since she began her training with Papi, he taught her how to release and control her Yato strength, every time a little more and more. As she hunt down the aliens she was succeeding and becoming stronger, she didn't regret her decision to learn to use this dark side of her. But at the same time she was getting unstable and unpredictable, anything as small as it may seem, would tick her off the wrong way, and she would go on a rampage, being each time harder to suppress her lust. She had been afraid that something like that could happen, " Just not the way it did ", if it had been Gin-chan or even Megane at the receiving end of her blows, she would understand this heartbroken feelings, it would've been natural to be so worried, so desperate so guilty, but it wasn't. It was the damned Sadist, " Neh, Sadaharu. I am sick yes? I have to be ".
She had been so, so happy to be back in Edo, she belonged here, it was her one true home, she was supposed to be safe and nothing but happy in here, but ever since she spotted him in that bench, her life had taken a turn for the worse. She was constantly unable to block her mind to think of him, him, him and him, " I'm going crazy, yes ". It was eventual, she knew that they would end up crossing paths, they seemed to possess a magnet, that would pull them together, maybe even spar or biker, for old times sake only, they were rivals after all, " That's all we are "she stated bittersweet, but that wasn't what happened, not at all!
" What am I suposed to do now Sadaharu? " she sighed, staring at the dark night.
A.N.- Once again, I deeply apologize for the very, very late update. I was getting crazy and insanely frustrated with this damned chapter, and like I said before I'm still not 100% sure.
So please, let me know what you think, did I screw this up real bad? Does it actually work out? You tell me.
[1] kuso gaki - damned kid.
[2] yokatta - that's good.
Thank you Mary! My poor Imouto, for making you read five different scripts like a slave.
Ja na!
murasakiana n.n