Chapter 10

Kate was tired of waiting. Her bags were stacked near the door. She had dressed carefully, in snug jeans, and a loose fitting dark purple hooded sweater over a long sleeve tee shirt, with sturdy boots and thick socks. Having no idea what was in store once she walked out that door didn't sit comfortably with Kate. For all she knew, they were sleeping in a tent tonight.

Jack would be freaking out right now, she thought dryly, as she made a last minute check of her bedroom for anything she may have forgotten. He would be telling her not to leave, to go to the police, not to trust Sawyer.

First of all, Jack could never understand her discomfort at being inside a police station. And Jack also would never understand that she was tired of being in the spot light that he seemed to think was so important. As soon as she went to the police, the media, who loved a good story, would hound her. She was just starting to get out of that spotlight. For Kate, true freedom was a distant light a the end of the tunnel now, if she could just keep heading in that direction.

Secondly, trusting Sawyer? Kate smirked to herself. That's what they were about to find out.

She had always felt something….different toward Sawyer. He was right about their connection.

On the "hike", when they first crashed and went out to get a stronger signal, she assumed that he was not a good man. Up until that point, he had been nothing but cold, and mean to her and everyone else. But hour into the journey, they hit a rough wall of rocks that needed to be scaled.

Shannon had really been struggling, she remembered fondly. She struggled too, but was always determined to do things on her own, choosing instead to struggle silently. Then he reached down for her. Helped pull her up. When they got to the top, he barely could look her in the eyes. He was hiding something; didn't want her to acknowledge what he had done. And she knew in that exact moment, that they were connected. Both ugly. Both bad, and both good.

When he had ousted her as the criminal to the rest of the group, Kate had vowed never to speak to him again.

She could admit now, that she made a mistake challenging him in the first place, but at the time, she was scared, and desperate. When fear and desperation began to seep into Kate, she always, ALWAYS came out swinging.

The betrayal had stung none the less and she purposely left the beach the day the raft launched without saying goodbye. It was childish, she knew, but sometimes, acting childish was her way. No one was perfect. Sawyer most of all probably have understood that.

Now here she was, basically putting her life in his hands. Even if it was by accident. Well she had no other choice. Sam was gone, and she had no one else to turn to.

She heard Ana typing on a laptop on the breakfast counter.

"Where is he?"

Ana tried to look annoyed. Truth was, she was a little worried herself. Sawyer had been gone for hours, and it wasn't like him not to check in with her during a crisis (which occurred often between to two conning partners).

She and Kate had been trapped in this apartment all afternoon. Making small talk. Ugh, if there was anything Ana didn't like doing, it was making small talk.

"Once again, I don't know Kate. He hasn't answered his cell, and hasn't called….maybe you could set off a smoke signal" She added sarcastically.

Kate let the jibe roll off her shoulders. She was too stressed to even think of a retort.

Ana was slightly disappointed though. Kate was turning out to be totally different then she remembered. That wouldn't have necessarily been bad, except that the new Kate was kind of a….girl. What have they done to you ? she thought as she busily entered codes on the laptop.

After a moment, Ana heard a heaved sigh, "Well that's it, I'm gonna…." Kate paused half way to the door.

What the hell was she going to do? She had no idea where he was. She could try the cell, but Kate had a feeling that if he hadn't been answering all day, he certainly wouldn't answer now.

"What the hell are you gonna do Kate?" Ana asked, eerily echoing Kate's own doubts.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Kate had rounded on her, ready to take out her frustration on the other woman.

"Well, I mean…." Ana was backtracking, thrilled that, the fiery look, of the Kate of old, had spontaneously spring into the other woman's eyes "…..its not like your 'Kate of the Jungle' anymore."

Kate continued to stare at her, not responding, arms crossed in defense.

"I mean look at you! You used to be….so….hard."

"Hard?"

"Yeah, tough, independent, sassy, not prissy and uptight like you are now." She paused, looking Kate up and down. "Who have you been hanging out with anyways?"

Kate's mind flashed to Jack, and she internally rolled her eyes.

"No one, its just, not many jury's want to acquit, tough, sassy jungle Kate'." Kate said defensively " I guess the act has just stuck."

"Well I think you outta drop the act Kate. Sawyer dosent like prissy women." With that, Kate's jaw dropped in shock, heat and color creeping into her cheeks, which caused Ana to dissolve into laughter.

"Its obvious…freckles."

Kate had turned her back on the laughter in Ana's eyes.

After a moment of sarcastic laughter, Ana went back to the computer, and Kate went back to pacing and worrying.

She did miss that woman Ana had referred to as jungle Kate.

Jack and the media, had taken that girl away. The one who was always climbing on stuff she wasn't supposed to, getting dirty, and running around on adventures with the boys.

While she waited for Sawyer, Kate though about how to get her back.

Sawyer was contemplating the same problem as he rode the elevator up to Kate's floor.

Except, to him it was more how to get rid of Sawyer.

Automatically, his wall build went as he walked out of his meeting with Sayid. Damnit if he wasn't beginning to care about these people. It wasn't in his nature he told himself. Up until the island, he only cared for himself. Then he began to care for Kate, and it was all about her, for him, in their last days there.

After the island, he threw Kate from his mind, and there was Ana. They had become, dare he say, friends. Between Ana, and Sayid, they had basically browbeaten him into caring about them. And he wasn't very comfortable with that either.

It was hard enough caring for Kate, when she hadn't even been around for him to care for. But to have even more people, looking to him, caring about him, it was almost too much. He felt too much after talking with Sayid. He could see Shannon's ghost haunting his eyes, and he knew it could just as easily be the same for him, when Kate walked out of his life.

The elevator doors opened suddenly, snapping him from his depressing thoughts, and quickly made his way down the hall to the apartment. He knocked on the door forcefully, and them reminded himself of the need to suppress the anger he was just feeling. He didn't need to scare Kate more then she already was.

He heard the latch opening and fixed a cocky grin on his face. The door swung open, and Kate was standing there, arms crossed.

He tried to be cute, by crinkling his eyebrows at her, but she simply raised an eyebrow, and stepped back from the door. He stepped quickly past her, noting that she was packed and ready just like he told her to be.

"Louis Vutton huh? Sheena goin high class on me?"

His joke earned him a cold look, as Kate re-latched the door.

"Where have you been? "

"Worried about me freckles?" He tried to sound casual, but was deeply interested in her answer.

"After all this time, is it still so hard to believe?" She asked echoing Sayid's words at the restaurant. For the second time that day, he felt a flicker of guilt he wasn't used to.

Before instinct could kick in with a snappy comeback, she turned on her heel, and walked away from him. He let out a breath, internally fighting between James and Sawyer, the urge to say something nasty.

James told him to go after her. She was scared, and alone, and he wanted to take care of her. Sawyer told him to walk out the door and never look back.

Before "they" could decide their differences however, Ana walked by. She tipped her head in greeting, totally used to his lack of responsibility.

"You ready?" he asked, knowing she always was.

"Ready as I was say……4 hours ago." She said, making a dramatic motion of checking her watch.

Rolling his eyes, he started in the direction that Kate had gone. He found her in her bedroom, standing in front of the window, arms crossed in front of her.

"Where are we going?" she asked without turning.

"Long Island."

"To a house?" she asked doubtfully.

"No, to a barn." When she turned around, her eyes told him she either hadn't gotten the joke, or wasn't in the mood for it. Her jaw was set, her stance defiant. She looked fierce, and beautiful. Something had changed in her since he left this morning. He dropped the veneer. "Of course a house. Geez, where did you think we were gonna go? Camping?" his dimples flashed.

That's exactly what she had thought, she reminded herself dryly.

She felt herself softening toward him. The banter between them always made her do that. Her anger was slowly fading, and was replaced with a numb exhaustion. The events of the past few months were beginning to catch up. If she didn't keep her guard up, this….Wolf person, wouldn't have too hard a time catching her in his trap.

Sawyer walked slowly over to where she was standing, sensing the shift in her mood. He stood a foot apart from her, unsure if he could get away with touching her. She smelled like expensive vanilla. She kept her eyes averted, trying to hide the heat growing in her cheeks. So instead of kissing her like part of him wanted to, he lightly ran his hands up and down her arms.

Slowly she looked up at him, eyes swimming with questions and statements, and declarations, and secrets. But they scared him a little. So he stepped back, and ran a hand through his hair.

"you ready?"

She quickly tried to regain her dignity, feeling rejected.

"Yeah." she answered distantly, instantly dropping the moment from her face.

When she walked by, he reached out for her, but pulled away at the last second. Something had changed in him too since he left this morning. He suddenly felt like he didn't deserve to be so close to her. He didn't deserve to try and protect her. And he defiantly didn't deserve to love her.

"Where did you get the car?"

"Do you always ask so many questions?"

Kate rolled her eyes.

"Okay okay. A friend."

Kate just huffed and started down the steps of the apartment building, hoisting her backpack on her shoulders.

He caught up with her. "Had to promise him an autograph though." With this he winked at her, taking the backpack from her and loading it into the trunk.

She tried to keep the corners of her mouth from twitching, however her dimples gave her away. When Kate reached down to adjust a bag, he reached out purposely, brushing her hand with the back of his.

Enjoying the way her face changed when he stepped into her space, he smiled down at her. They locked eyes, and for a moment, the banter vanished, and something raw was exchanged. Time seemed to stand still, and Kate couldn't seem to tear her eyes away.

"Ahem."

Something snapped, and Sawyer whipped his head around to see Ana , hands on her hips, the sneer, she seemed to save just for him, plastered all over her face.

"Are you guys gonna be like this the whole trip? Cause, uh, we'll need to stop at the store for some Pepto. I already feel like I am gonna puke."

Sawyer suppressed a groan, while Kate did her best to ignore the woman. Satisfied and smug, Ana jumped in the back seat, closing the door firmly.

Kate looked at Sawyer again, rolling her eyes. He touched her cheek surprising her with the sudden tenderness after the rejection a few moments ago. Deciding to walk away now, Kate went around him, and got in the passenger seat without a word.

Dropping his head in defeat, Sawyer got in the driver side, and buckled up. Checking the traffic, he took a steadying breath before starting down the street toward the house Sayid had arranged. He figured if traffic was light, he could make it in an hour. As long as he could get her there, and safe, then he could figure out what the next step was.

The man stepped quickly from the phone booth across from Kate's apartment, and was lucky to catch a passing vacant taxi. He threw in his gear, slightly panicked. Jumping in himself, he practically threw a one hundred dollar bill at the driver.

"Follow that dark sedan. Don't loose them."

His prey was on the move.