Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed and voted, the feedback is really helpful. Once again I humbly beg for you to vote in the poll on my profile and to review or message me if you have a spare moment. I hope you like this mini chapter before the action picks up again ^.^
Lots of love, Madness
Chapter 10: Deliberation and Decision
She had a fantastic team: Kelly Chambers, Doctor Chakwas, EDI, The Illusive Man, and Jeff Moreau for support, as well as Garrus Vakarian, Jacob Taylor, Miranda Lawson, Mordin Solus, Jack, and Grunt to work out in the field with her.
Why didn't it feel like enough…
During the day it was tolerable. During the day there were battles to fight, missions to complete, and people to save.
But at night, at night there was nothing to stave off the solitude, the regret, the emptiness.
At night, she was alone.
Commander Shepard leaned back in her chair as she checked her inbox for any new messages before reluctantly beginning to look over The Illusive Man's list of other potential assets she might like to bring aboard. Her eyes scanned the short résumés he had sent her, beginning with a familiar name:
Tali'Zorah vas Neema
-Expert in combat tech, systems hacking
-Strong engineering background, familiar with Normandy
Formerly listed as Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, the quarian engineer earned her adult name after helping Shepard defeat Saren two years ago. Tali is currently on a classified assignment for the Migrant Fleet Admiralty Board on Haestrom, deep in geth-controlled space.
She had really enjoyed Tali's company the last time Tali had been a part of her crew, but her friend had asked for some time to get things sorted out after their brief encounter on Freedom's Progress so she decided to save recruiting Tali for later.
Justicar Samara
-Biotics strength near that of an asari matriarch
-Extensive weapons training
Samara is a justicar, a rare member of an asari monastic group trained in enhanced combat biotics alongside standard weapons. Samara was recently sighted on Illium, outside of normal asari space.
She did a quick extranet search to give herself an idea of what being a justicar entailed. Interesting, having someone with that much experience and power would greatly benefit her team plus, maybe she could take some advanced biotics lessons from the justicar if she was game.
At the first line of the final dossier, she froze.
It couldn't be.
It must be a mistake.
She was just tired from the workload lately and her eyes were playing tricks on her. She rubbed her eyes a bit before hesitantly reading the file.
Thane Krios
-Quick-kill biotic specialist
-Expert sniper
Thane Krios is a drell trained from childhood as an elite assassin, proficient in both long-range sniping kills and close infiltration. He has slowed his activities in recent years but is rumored to have a target on Illium.
It was him.
Of course, had she been in a more reasonable state of mind, she would have admitted that there may have been other men who fit the description. In that moment however, she had never been surer of anything in her life.
She couldn't. Could she?
The idea of bringing the drell on board to join her team both thrilled and terrified her.
She wasn't sure exactly how her crew would react to the idea, but she was sure the response would be negative, at least at first. Garrus in particular had been acting strange ever since the incident, but it was more than that. Her legs had healed for them most part, she could easily go on missions and do her job but sometimes the pain was intense, a constant reminder of her near death experience. Not that she couldn't handle a little pain, because she most certainly could, but she still felt impatient for her body and want it to finish mending.
She wondered for a moment, who she would take to collect Thane if she did indeed decide to do so. Lately she had been bringing Grunt, the young tank bred Krogan she had sort of "adopted", on missions to test his abilities and work off some of his aggression. He had been getting a little antsy cooped up on board all day and Joker made such a fuss if Grunt dented "his baby" that she had eventually given in. It had turned out rather well, all things considered, but she resented the added pressure to choose her party members based on their needs instead of on the needs of the mission.
That wasn't to say that she didn't care about her crew. She did, deeply, but sometimes it felt like certain squad members demanded much more of her attention than others and that wasn't fair, not to the other crew members or to her.
She propped her elbows up on her desk and buried her face in her hands, the tips of her fingers teasing the edges of her tangled hair as she shut herself off from the rest of the world.
Why was she so consumed by him? Memories of that fateful day washed over her in waves. His smooth, faintly iridescent scales, the color of new life in spring time. The deep, melodious rumble of his voice. The taste of his sweet, firm lips around hers.
She pounded her fists down on her desk in frustration. She had tried everything to get him out of her head and had failed miserably. There was nothing for it. It was time for her to go see Thane Krios.