Hi, it's Lindsey. Generally, I write real stuff. This is not it. Jenny is not here. Maybe I'll introduce a plot. Maybe.

Anabeth POV (Her name's Anabeth, right?)

"Are you sure the Aphroditetes killed your canoe?" I questioned.

"Cindy." Percy corrected, "and yes. I'm positive. Her corpse smelled of nail polish and lip gloss."

As w pushed out the screen of the Aphroditet's cabin, three things occurred to me.

First, Percy was insane

Second, there was a part of him- and I didn't know how dominant that part might be- that thought his canoe was sentient.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

I was broken out of my introspection by the Aphroditet's squeals. "Finally! You admit you love him!" One shrieked in joy.

"I thought you said they weren't in there!" I accused Percy, "And that was a soliloquy! The audience could hear it. You could not! You're all characters! Minor, nameless characters!"

One of the aphroditets began to respond, but was promptly interrupted by a puff of smoke. Out of the puff, a single girl appeared, looking exhausted and angry.

"You know what? This is all freaking nonsensical fluff! As ½ of the author, I will not stand for this! Bring in the plot ninjas!" She shouted. Then, it hit me. She was one of the authors.

No sooner had I made the realization than the plot ninjas came slamming into the cabin through the screen windows, bringing with them the inexplicable sound of shattering glass.

Percy drew his sword as the Aphroditets coward in the corner.

"You can't fight the plot ninjas!" The author shouted, disappearing. Two of the four ninjas straightened from their crouches.

"You two!" One shouted at Percy and I. "You are now together. Forever. The plot needs to get past the two of you being idiots about it."

"But- But- But-" Percy stuttered.

"No!" The other shouted. "Also, the rules of either this universe, the whoniverse, or the buffyverse apply."

"Chose one and start acting like it!" The other agreed.

"Now, you're quest is to protect this penguin!" A penguin appeared out of a puff of smoke.

"Why?" Percy questioned, "Is he a demigod penguin?"

"No! He's just a normal penguin!" The ninja shouted.

"Annnndddd... The mafia's after him. Have fun, kid." And with that, the ninjas disappeared in much the same fashion of the author, leaving the penguin behind.

"Well, at least now, we have a plot." I shrugged optimistically.

This section has gained us 5 points. By the way, Jenny, check your email.

Chad POV (Unrelated time)

"Hey Zora, have you seen Sonny?" I inquired, shooting the pigtailed girl one of my signature white toothed grins. I caught my reflection in a window as I did so. I couldn't help but stare. Damn, I am attractive.

"Oh, she got kicked off the show. Remember, the eating disorder-self harm fiasco? Network doesn't want her." She shrugged, going back to her work of hitting a tree with a hammer.

"Yeah, but she should still be here even if your stupid show is over."

"SHE'S NOT ON THE SHOW!"

That's it. Now there's a plot. With a penguin. Damn, I'm a good author.