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"I'll be a strong as a mountain,
Or weak as a willow tree,
Anyway you want me,
That's how I will be.
I'll be a tame as a baby,
Or wild as the raging sea,
Anyway you want me,
That's how I will be.
In your hand my heart is clay,
To take a mold as you may.
I'm what you make me, you've only to take me,
And in your arms I will stay.
I'll be a fool or a wise man,
My darling you hold the key,
Yes, anyway you want me,
That's how I will be,
I will be."
Elvis, "Any Way You Want Me (That's How I Will Be)"
000
Only four months ago Maria Kanellis was merely just another diva to Jeff Hardy. One who had earned his friendship by once joining him in his crazy dance during his ring entrance.
Friendship and nothing more.
Then came that fateful night in Vegas three months ago, when he and Maria got themselves plastered, and with the help of an equally plastered Edge, Randy Orton, and Ken Kennedy, got themselves married. By decree of Vince McMahon, they had to stay together as husband and wife for a year, and at least pretend to love each other while they were in the public eye.
Jeff and Maria did just that. When they appeared in public together they were the image newlyweds in love. When they were alone they tended to go back to just being friends. After two months they had become quite good at it; enough to fool their parents and relations.
It was nerve wracking to say the least when they had to finally go and visit their respective families. Gilbert Hardy's attitude seemed to be that while he was not surprised Jeff had went ahead and got married, he was not in the least bit happy about it. So he adopted a rather aloof demeanor, one of just tolerating Maria's presence on his son's arm than actually welcoming it.
When it came to finally visiting Maria's parents, they were all smiles and shook Jeff's hand. However, after a few minutes one could easily tell that the discomfiture they felt and disapproval of the rainbow-haired man who had dared married their daughter was evident in their eyes, betraying those friendly smiles.
All in all both meetings went as well as could be expected in the circumstances. Nonetheless, Maria and Jeff looked forward to getting back on the road for the WWE and allow the whole situation sink in with their families, before going to visit again.
As they entered the third month of their marriage, Jeff slowly began to recognize that his "pretended" motions of marriage, didn't feel so pretend anymore. Every time he kissed her, whether it be a kiss on the lips or the cheek he would feel his heart flutter with a quiet excitement, and a sweet warmth flair up deep in his chest.
He began kissing her on the cheek on a regular basis, whether they were in public or private, and she didn't seem to mind. They had never shared a real deep kiss since that night at the club and he missed feel of her warm, soft lips on his for longer than a split second peck. Still, he was just satisfied being near her.
As the middle of the third month came, both Jeff and Maria made a second trip to see their families, this time separately. When he came home to see his dad, he was surprised to find the elder Hardy was disappointed that Maria had not come along with Jeff this time.
When Jeff asked his father about this sudden change of attitude toward Maria, Gilbert simply answered, "She's done you good, son."
Once Gilbert had said it, Jeff realized it. She had done him good; he generally felt happier everyday. He was better at keeping up with tedious responsibilities like not procrastinating on bills or putting off doing the household chores at home. And nothing made you feel more happy and well off than the feeling of soft hands kneeding the soreness out of your back after a long hard wrestling match.
The more days that passed, the more he felt that warm feeling growing in his heart whenever he was near her. The thing he couldn't put his finger on was exactly what this warm feeling was…
"Hello, Earth to Itchweed," Matt waved a hand in front of his little brother's face.
The two brothers were walking around New York City, looking for the place where they were going to meet Maria and Ashley for lunch. Jeff had been staring into the distance for the last ten minutes and Matt was beginning to wonder what was tying up Jeff's mind so.
"Huh?" Jeff snapped out of his reverie.
Matt quirked a curious eyebrow at him. "Penny for your thoughts?"
"Oh, I was just thinking about Maria…" Jeff murmured.
Matt chuckled. "Seems like that's all that's on your mind lately."
"What do you mean?" Jeff furrowed his brow at his older brother.
"It seems like anything and everything makes you think of or reminds you of Maria." Matt gave his little brother a knowing smirk.
Jeff pondered the statement. It was true; Maria always seemed to be on his mind. If not in his immediate thought process, then always a whisper at the back of his mind. Whether he was thinking about travel plans and room arrangements for the two of them, to just looking at a flower and remembering her bright smile.
"Yeah, I guess I do…" Jeff admitted.
"Aww…I think my little baby brother's in love," the older Hardy teased, not really taking his own words seriously.
"What…?" The younger Hardy looked at his brother as if he were crazy.
Matt only laughed at his little brother's surprised expression, which in turn made Jeff groan and roll his eyes as he realized his bother was just giving him a hard time.
"There they are," Matt managed to calm his laughter as he spotted their two girls, sitting at a table outside the café, up ahead.
"Good. Do I look okay?" Jeff looked down at his sports jersey and baggy Goth pants.
"Yeah…Well, it's not something I'd wear in New York," Matt chuckled. "But it's a good look for you."
"Come on, be serious." Jeff frowned, wanting an honest answer from his brother.
Now it was Matt's turn to look at his brother like he was crazy. "Since when do you care so much?"
"Well…" Jeff started, and realized he never really cared about such things before. Maybe on a special occasion, but just going out to lunch? Never. "I just wanted to look good for Maria."
Matt's eyes widened a little in shock. The two Hardys looked at each other, Jeff's eyes widening as well.
"Oh my god," Jeff murmured. "You were right… I am in love…"
"Now, Jeff…" Matt began, not really believing his words from before.
"No, it's true…" Jeff put his hand on the wall of a near by building, to steady himself. "I can't get her out of my mind… I worry about what wear around her….Matt, I've never done that over any other woman before…"
Matt thought about it and slowly nodded. Sure, Jeff had had relationships in the past, Beth Britt, Trish Stratus, whom he cared for very much, but not to the point that made him want to change himself, appearance or otherwise.
"It's true… I am totally, insanely, butt-crazy in love with Maria," Jeff said, looking over at Maria and Ashley, sitting not far away.
Matt nodded. "Sounds like you are…It's not like you to be so self conscious."
Jeff smiled a little, feeling relieved that he finally had an answer to all of those feelings he had had when he was around Maria. He was in love, truly in love. Suddenly, he frowned as he realized he had no idea how Maria felt about him. After all, she had been tied emotionally to CM Punk before they had gotten together. Had her feelings toward Jeff hardy changed since then, as his feelings changed for her?
"Now what do I do, Matt?" Jeff looked at his brother worriedly. "I love her...but how do I tell her...? 'I love you' are three very dangerous little words…"
Matt frowned contemplatively and looked down at the ground. "Yeah, those are dangerous words indeed…"
Jeff leaned against the building wall and sighed wearily.
Suddenly, Matt's head snapped up as a light bulb went on in his head. "Instead of telling her that you love her, why not just show her that you love her?" He patted Jeff's shoulder, smiling confidently. "And let her figure it out for herself."
"I admit it, Matt, you are brilliant." Jeff grinned. "And I think I know just how to do it…"
"Yeah?" Matt was eager to hear what his little brother had in mind.
"Well, you know that big Valentines Day opera outing that everyone is going to...?"
Matt nodded. "Oh yeah, I still have to get Ashley a present."
"Well I'm going to take Maria to that, and I'm going to try and be the Prince Charming!"
"Nice!" The older Hardy's grin broadened.
"Except, there's one problem…" Jeff deflated a little.
Matt raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"I have no 'Prince Charming' fashion sense…" The younger Hardy sighed in defeat.
"Hmmm…" Matt murmured thoughtfully, clapping his hands as an idea came. "I know just who you should see about that…"
"Who?"
"You'll see…"
000
Jeff took a deep breath and knocked on the door of the hotel room in which Dave Batista, and the Nature Boy, Ric Flair, were staying. Jeff knew he would need help in sprucing himself up to trendy standards in time for the opera on Saturday , so on Matt's recommendation he went to pay The Animal a visit.
Batista was always a snappy dresser. Whenever The Animal was not dressed in his ring attire, he was dressed in sleek, snazzy suits. It wasn't really Jeff's style; his idea of formal was an untucked collared shirt and a tie, and occasionally a nice blazer. So for a special outing to the opera, he really needed to kick it up a notch to impress Maria and her fellow divas, hence why he desperately needed the help in trying dress to impress.
Ever since he had realized that he was in love with Maria, he had wanted to go that extra mile to show her and everyone else that he was good enough for her. Mainly so she would not have to suffer the "behind-the-back" whispers of being married to the WWE's "resident weirdo". And if that meant giving his personal style up for awhile, then so be it.
Jeff nearly jumped when the door opened to reveal Batista, standing there.
"Um…Batista …" Jeff shifted uncomfortably, trying to find the right way to phrase his request. "I know this is going to sound like a weird request but…"
"Something weird from you? Never…" Batista grinned teasingly.
Jeff snorted in amusement. "Look, you know the big opera event coming up for Valentines Day?"
"Oh yeah," Batista's grin turned a little more wistful. "I'm taking Beth Phoenix. The Glamazon. I am one lucky man."
"Yeah…about that …I was wondering if you could help me…" Jeff got fed up and decided to just blurt it out. "I need a formal make-over, there I said it."
Batista's eyebrows shot up and the rest of his face went blank. Without a word he grabbed Jeff's arm and jerked him into the room.
"Hey, Ric!" Batista shouted toward the bathroom.
"What?" the Nature Boy called from behind the bathroom door. "I'm kind of busy in here, Dave!"
"Jeff Hardy wants us to help him get a formal makeover!" Batista called back, a slight chuckle in his voice. This made Jeff bury his face in his hands in embarrassment. He wished he had never knocked on the door, now they were going to make fun of him.
An eerie silence settled around the bathroom, then there was rush of hustling and bustling and a few seconds later Ric Flair burst out dressed in one of his infamous feathered ring robes.
"Wooo!" The Nature Boy clapped his hands together in excitement. "It's about time. I have been waiting for the time to get my hands on you and clean you up!"
"Okay…" Jeff eyed Flair warily, "That's figurative right?"
"Ease up, Ric," Batista gently pulled the enthusiastic legend away from the young Hardy, "I think you're scaring him."
"Sorry, Jeff." Ric laughed. "It's figurative of course. Now what kind of makeover are we looking for?"
Jeff looked down at his twiddling thumbs. "It's for the opera; I wanna look good for Maria."
"Aww, isn't that cute." Flair smiled and looked at Batista who nodded in agreement. "Now get up, and let's see what we got to work with here."
Jeff got up and held out his arms like a manikin. Ric made a motion with his hand that Jeff should turn around. Jeff gave him a "why am I doing this?" look, but complied. Flair and Batista looked the young Hardy over and realized this was going to be harder than they thought. Jeff was currently dressed in a navy-blue baseball jersey over a black long sleeved pull over, his usual black baggy cargo pants. He wore a head band to hold back his hair, which was currently colored in a gradient from sky blue to indigo, and tied in a messy knot at the back of his head, and they couldn't forget the painted finger nails.
"This is going to be a lot of work…" Batista shook his head, already looking tired.
"Yeah." Flair nodded in agreement. "I think we're going to have to call for reinforcements."
Ric pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number. While waiting for the person to pick up on the other line, he gave Jeff an "I've got you covered" wink.
Jeff smiled a little nervously back.
"Hey, buddy!" Ric greeted the other person on the line. "How's the leg? Good, good… Look Batista and I have someone who has sought our vast knowledge of how to look good. Unfortunately, it's a bigger job that we thought…… How big….? It's Jeff Hardy…..yeah, I told ya'…..Okay….We gotta do something about his hair too, it's a mess…. All right…yeah, we'll get him to the salon and we'll meet you later….all right thanks, buddy…" Flair hung up, and clapped his hands. "You're all set, Jeff!"
"Yeah? Where are we going?" Jeff asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Let me get dressed, we'll hop in the car and you'll find out."
000
After Ric was fully dressed, he and Batista dragged Jeff to their rental car and into a salon not far away. Ric instructed the hairdresser to get all of the leftover dye out of Jeff's hair and repair the dye and bleach damaged hair as much as possible.
The stylist pulled Jeff's hair out of the knot he had it in and looked at it as if Ric had just asked him to build a hundred story skyscraper in the next two hours.
Actually, it was two and a half hours of washing and, treating and, re-washing, conditioning and, drying, before they finally removed all of the artificial color from Jeff's hair and made it all smooth and manageable again.
"So! How do you feel?" Ric grinned, patting Jeff on the back.
"Like my scalp's been torn from my head," Jeff groaned wearily. "At least my hair looks nice."
"Remember, Jeff, No pain, no gain," Batista tried to motivate him.
"Right, right…" Jeff sighed wearily, reminding himself that he was doing this for Maria.
"Good." Ric helped the young Hardy out of the salon chair. "Now, let's get you to your next appointment."
"We're not done?" Jeff looked at him in worried disbelief.
Ric shook his head. "Nope, we gotta get those nails of yours fixed."
"What's wrong with them?" Jeff looked down at his hands.
"They're blue, Jeff," Batista said in a tone of voice that left no room for questioning or argument.
"Yeah…I guess you're right…" Jeff murmured slowly, still looking down at his hands. It was hard to picture them completely clean and, staying that way.
"Don't worry, it's not as bad as the hair job," Batista offered some real words of comfort.
"Better not be..." Jeff grumbled. "I had to bite on my fist for the past 2 hours just to prevent myself from screaming and crying, while my scalp seemed to be systematically tortured."
"Well as they say, 'pain his beauty'," Ric put an arm around Jeff's shoulders and lead him toward the nail salon.
Jeff could only laugh nervously.
After another half-hour his nails were squeaky clean. However, looking at his plain nails and hair, Jeff felt strangely "naked" without his signature colors. He repeated his mantra that it was all for Maria and that it would be worth it. At least it wasn't nearly as painful as his hair treatment; his scalp was still throbbing from that. Still, the make-over was not yet over. As soon as his nails were done, Batista and Flair dragged Jeff to the suit store to get him dressed for success.
It was there that Jeff discovered who the" reinforcements" Ric had called in earlier were. At the entrance to the suit shop stood none other than Triple H and Shawn Michaels.
"Oh… my… God…" Jeff moaned softly, already feeling humiliated.
"Hey, there's our victim," Triple H grinned like a Cheshire cat.
Jeff smiled nervously.
"Hunter, remind me again why I'm here…" HBK looked over his fellow DX member.
"I need an impartial judge," The Game shrugged, before turning his attention back to Jeff. "Now, I've picked out some stuff for you to try on." He led Jeff over to a couple racks of different suits. "Let's get started, shall we?"
Jeff glanced at the racks of suits, looking like he might faint right then and there. "You want me to try them all on…"
"Yup!" Hunter patted him on the back. "It's the only way we'll know for sure which one is right for you."
This is for Maria… Jeff sighed resignedly, "Okay, which one should I start with?"
"How about this one?" Triple H pulled out a traditional looking tuxedo. "Always good to start with the classics."
Jeff could already tell he was not going to look good in if, but decided to humor them. After all, they were just trying to help…
About two hours and fifty suits later, there were only two suits left including the one Jeff wore as he came out of the dressing room with. By this time Batista had run out and picked them up some sandwiches and coffee, to help the time pass while they graded Jeff's clothing.
"How about this one?" Jeff asked, a little out of breath now he was even more exhausted than when they began. He longed to drink some of that coffee.
"No, I don't like that one either." Ric waved hand dismissively.
"Not feeling it." Triple H returned to his sandwich, as both Shawn and Batista shook their heads disapprovingly at what Jeff was wearing.
"Oh come on!" Jeff snapped, frustration starting to overcome the exhaustion. "You're kidding me?! That's what you said about all the previous ones! And this is the last suit on the rack!"
"No, there's one more," Hunter motioned to the last suit on the rack.
Jeff half sighed, half groaned as he went and grabbed the last suit from the rack. "Okay, but this is the last one!" He stormed back toward the dressing rooms. After a few minutes of changing, he came back out. "Well…?"
"Woo! That's the one we're looking for!" Ric clapped his hands triumphantly.
"Nice," Batista gave him the thumbs up, while HBK nodded in approval.
Triple H chuckled. "Yup, I knew that one was going to be the one right from the beginning."
The young Hardy had the sudden urge to punch the Cerebral Assassin in the face, but managed to keep his last ounce of control. "If you this was going to be winner from the start why didn't you have me try it on first?"
"I wanted to save the best for last," Hunter's Cheshire cat grin returned again.
"All right, Cinderella, it looks like you're ready for the ball!" Ric started ushering Jeff back towards the dressing room, so the young Hardy could get back into his regular clothes.
While Jeff was changing, the other men compared notes on how Jeff looked.
"Woo! Boys, I think we did it," Ric came back to join the group.
"That was a good pick, Hunter," Batista nodded calmly.
"Yeah. He cleans up well, doesn't he?" Triple H said thoughtfully. "But then he had our expert help so it's no surprise."
The three men looked over at Shawn who was being uncharacteristically silent. He had a half brooding expression on his face.
"Shawn?" Hunter looked sideways at his friend. "What do you think?"
"He looks like a tiger who's been stripped of all his stripes," Shawn said plainly.
Trip H and Ric looked at him quizzically, while Batista nodded, seeming to understand what Shawn was getting at.
"Don't get me wrong, you guys did a good job on him, he looks good." Shawn shrugged. "A tiger without it's stripes is still a beautiful creature, but it has lost it's unique spark that separated him from the other cats."
The other men raised their eyebrows and nodded a little, acknowledging that Shawn did have a valid point. For Jeff to win approval, the price might be his individuality.
HBK sighed and looked over at Jeff's dressing room. "I just hope she's worth it…"
000
How high a price is it? And will it all be worth it? Find out in the next chapter, the night of the opera…