Deanna: 8 Sam: 4

Deanna stared at the blade as it flashed in the early morning sunlight. Her father was saying something to her, but it just sounded like a warble of noise. Her heart was pounding so hard it was hard to hear. Why was he giving her such a big knife? What were they doing on the side of the road in some back woods while Sammy was still sleeping soundly in the Impala? Why was his face scrunched up in a serious expression? "Deanna are you listening to me girl? This is life or death!"

That's how it's been since that day her father told her about the demon that killed her mother. About the monsters under the bed that are real. About how she had to learn to keep Sammy and her safe. Her father had been dragging them with him from place to place, never staying longer then a month, sometimes as little as a weekend. Going to school was only possible when they settled in places for a long time. John had started teaching her how to fight hand to hand. What to do if someone tried to grab her from behind, how to hold on and use her small body as her weapon. The first time was terrifying, he grabbed her suddnly without warning. Deanna tried to thrash around, but he was just too strong. It was only after she went limp and started crying that he let her go. That was the first time he ever got angry with her, it only made her cry harder.

Now he's here with a large blade extended out in front of her. "Take it Deanna." Finally finding the strength to lift her arms, Deanna wrapped her small fingers around the handle. The weight dropped her arm after John let go. "Now it's gonna be a little heavy, but with practice, you'll be able to wield it no problem."

Deanna looked up at her father. "Why are we doing this?"

John huffed. "Damn it Deanna, I told you why." John stared at her sternly. He sighed as he let himself relax. "Please, start trusting me Deanna. I only want what's best for you two." John gave her a soft smile. Deanna missed the warm happy smiles he would give her.

Deanna closed her eyes trying to steel herself. She thought of Sammy sleeping in the car. She opened her eyes and gave her father a determined nod. "What do I do?"

John walked around behind Deanna and took the hand that held the blade and moved it. "Think of the blade as an extension of your arm. With time, you'll be able to use it like it's second nature." Deanna breathed deep as the reflection of the sun flashed in her eyes.

Deanna felt fire burning in her veins, like poison seeping through her. She couldn't remember how long she had been crying, when the tears dried up on her face, when the pain had become so intense, that it was suffocating. Sam was so stiff, it didn't feel like him. Like she was staring at a perfect dummy of her brother. Absently she reached out to brush the hair from his eyes. Bobby walked into the room holding a case of beer. He set it down on a small table beside Deanna. "I thought maybe you could use a drink."

His voice sounded far away again. Deanna wasn't even sure if he was there, she wasn't sure if she was even there. Bobby placed his hand on her shoulder, grounding her to reality. Apparently her tears were not as dry as she though.

John walked back and forth grabbing various thing and shoving them into his bag before zipping it up. Sam and Deanna stared at him intently. "I'll be late again tonight." He grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. He walked over to Sam and have him a kiss on the head. "You be good for your sister." Sam smiled. John gave Deanna a one arm hug. "Take care of your brother." Deanna nodded. "Bed time is at eight, don't let him eat junk and try to do a little homework."

"But we're not even in school." Deanna tried to protest.

John flashed her a look. "What did I say?"

Deanna looked off to the side. John turned and left. Deanna waited for the sound of the Impala to fade away. She turned to Sam kicking his feet on the edge of the bed. It was yet another motel in yet another town in yet another state. "So Sammy, what do you want to do?"

"I want to eat cookies for dinner and watch cartoons all night." Sam said with the biggest smile.

"Really."

Sam dropped his smile. "No, you heard daddy."

Deanna frowned and threw herself on the bed next to him. "Why couldn't you be fun and rebellious?"

"I don't want to be like you." Sam said with a pout. Deanna grabbed the pillow and hit him on the head with it. He was getting smarter by the day, and sassy too.

"OK Sammy, let's do the boring stuff first and then maybe I'll let you have one cookie."

"Ok." Sam said sounding way to delighted about doing homework then Deanna would have liked. He hopped off the bed and ran over to his little bag. He pulled out the reading for beginners book. Sam wasn't old enough for kindergarten yet, but Deanna knew that he was gonna be way ahead of all those kids when he finally was. Sam went over to the little table, placed his book on top and climbed into the chair. He was tall enoght to sit normally, but these chairs were just a bit to big for him. She guessed he was like 3ft to her 4ft. She knew one day he would be taller then her, she just hoped not too tall. He would probably get cocky and start calling her "little sis." Deanna shuddered at the thought.

Deanna sat across from Sam as he flipped open to the next page he was on. They sat like that for 30 minutes as she helped him sound out words correctly. When that was done, she gave him the cookie she promised and he went over to the bed to watch tv as she set about doing her homework and the "homework" her father gave her.

"What is this?" John asked pointing to a picture.

"Um, a warewolf."

"This one?"

"A um, uh..."

"You haven't been studying have you?"

Deanna made a face like she ate something bad. "It's boring."

John slapped the book. "Deanna you need to know what these things are. How are expected to defend Sam if you don't know what to defend him from?"

Deanna caught he didn't mention her. "You mean us." She said under her breath.

John stared at her. "Yes, that's what I meant." He stooped down to eye level. "Don't think I don't care about you."

"Yeah I know." Deanna threw up her arm trying to get distance from him.

John stood up. "Look, Deanna, just study, please."

Deanna looked down at her notes. The words seemed to bend and wobble together. She blinked and realized that she was crying. Her fathers words, or lack there of, finally sunk in and stung her heart. She hadn't noticed Sam get up and was standing next to her. "DeeDee, what's wrong?" His voice was so small and full of concern.

Deanna smiled at her brother. "I'm fine Sammy."

Sam's face was still sad. "Is your homework too hard?" Deanna furrowed her brows at him. He leaned forward a little. "Can I tell you a secret." Deanna nodded. "Sometimes I cry too when I can't read a word by myself. It's OK to ask for help." Sam put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Deannas heart melted. Sam loves her so much. She sliped off the chair and hugged him tight. "I know I don't know a lot, but I'll try to help."

Deanna pulled away and wiped her eyes. "No Sammy, it's OK. I just need a break. My brain hurts from all the thinking."

Sam rubbed his head. "That happens to me too sometimes."

Deanna tossled his hair. "You're silly baby boy." She picked him up and walked over to the bed. She set him down on the edge. "So you know how dad said no junk food." Sam nodded. "Well dads not here and what he doesn't know won't hurt him." Sam gave her a big smile. Deanna went over to her bag and pulled out a small pouch. Inside the pouch was a $20 bill. She walked back over to Sam and showed it to him. "I've been saving this for something cool, but I think we deserve pizza."

Sam's face lit up. "Yay, pizza!"

"But remember, don't tell dad." Sam nodded and Deanna headed towards the phone.

"Deanna wake up!"

Deanna blinked her eyes open. She saw the figure of her father looming over her. He was holding something in his hand. When her eyes traveled over to it, she realized in horror that she forgot to throw out the pizza box. Her and Sam had stayed up watching a movie that had come on and Deanna told him to reminder her to throw the box out when they finished the last slice, but he had fallen asleep and soon after so did she.

Deanna shot up in the bed to try and explain when she was grabbed by the arm. Soon she was being pulled, dragged out of bed. She looked back in the dark to see Sam was curled up sound asleep. "Dad I-"

"Be quiet!" John shot at her, shutting her down immediately. She could feel her eyes burning and a hard lump forming in her throat. John dragged her out the door bare foot and over to the Impala. "Get in now!"

"What about Sammy?"

"Don't make me tell you again." There was fury behind his eyes. Deanna climbed into the car. She watched in the rear view mirror as her father tossed the empty pizza box to the side with disgust. He took a bottle from his pocket and lined the door and window with...salt, to keep the demons and ghost out. When he got into the car, he didn't say anything, just flashed Deanna a look that made her put on her seat belt in a hurry. They drove out a ways, some place secluded. When he stopped and turned the car off he looked over at her, still smoldering. "Are you fucking stupid?"

Deanna didn't know how to answer. "No."

"Really cause I told you no junk food and what do you do, you order pizza."

"Look if it's about the money, I didn't steal it from you, I found it on the ground in the bathroom two states over. I swear."

John slammed his fist in the head rest of her seat, causing her to flinch and close her eyes. "God damn it Deanna, I don't give a shit about where the money came from! That pizza deliver person could have been anything! I tell you these things because I'm trying to keep you and Sam safe." Now he mentions her. "Why is that so hard for you to understand?" Deanna looked away. "Get out." John opened his door and stepped out of the car. Deanna could hear the sound of his belt coming undone. She slowly slipped out the car. Her body feeling heavy with dread. She dragged her feet across the dirt as she met her father on the back side of the car. "Turn around." John never liked looking at her face when he punished her. Maybe it made him feel bad, maybe it was easier to remove himself emotionally, like a killer who takes the life of a family member or loved one. How could you look in the face someone who love and trusted you, betray them. Deanna closed her eyes and made herself stiff. She thought she was stone, cold and unmoving. She thought of Sam, warm and safe in bed without a care in the world.

John was going to be late again. No junk food, defiantly no pizza. He had made a point to buy bread and deli meat so Deanna could make sandwiches if they got hungry. Deanna sat at table looking over her notes, studying hard so she wouldn't get punished again. Sam walked over to her with a pleading look. "What Sammy, I'm busy."

"I'm hungry DeeDee." Sam grabbed the edge of the table as he rest his chin there, looking up at her with his puppy eyes.

Deanna sighed as she pulled her seat out. "Fine hold on." She went to the grocery bag and pulled out the bread and deli meat, she also found a pack of cheese and some Mayo packets, along with a few plastic knives. Deanna grimaced at the thought of unrefrigerated meat and cheese. She figured if they ate most of it that day, it wouldn't be so bad to throw the rest out. She placed the ingredients on the table and proceeded to make Sam a sandwich. When she was finished, she turned and handed it to him.

Sam looked down at the sub par sandwich in his hands. He made a face like it was gross. "I don't like cheese."

"Oh come on Sammy, yeah you do."

"But it's warm."

Deanna bent down to eye level. "Think of it as pizza then." Sam grimaced. Deanna stood up straight with a huff. "Or not, do what you want." She half ass folded the bread bag and pushed everything to one side of the table. She sat back down in her seat and started to study again when she saw Sam still looking at her. "What Sammy."

"Can I sit with you?"

"Sure, just don't make too much noise, I need to think." Deanna rubbed at her temple like that was gonna stimulate thought processes.

Sam climbed into the chair, sandwich in hand and settled down. He smiled at Deanna before taking a big bite of his sandwich. For someone who didn't like warm cheese, he sure was eating with delight. "Are you gonna eat too?" Sam asked with a mouth full of food.

"Maybe." Deanna didn't bother to look up when she answered. It was hard for her to remember her place and ended up reading the same sentence five times because Sam was chewing with his mouth open. Suddenly it felt like she could hear everything. The ticking of the clock on the wall, the sound of the cars driving by on the street, the sound of her own breathing, and that damn wet smacking sound of mushed up food inside Sam's mouth.

"Hey DeeDee?"

"What Sammy!" Deanna slammed her hands down on the table, causing Sam to jump a little before sinking in his chair.

"I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone." He sounded like he was on the verge of tears. Sam slid out of the chair, sandwich in hand and walked over to his bed with his head bent down.

Deanna felt a knot form in her throat. She didn't mean to yell at him like that. "Sammy I'm sorry."

"It's OK." His voice was tiny. He was really trying not to cry.

Deanna looked down at her notes and pushed them away from her. All this stuff about monsters and demons was getting on her nerve. Why couldn't her and Sam just be normal kids. It all seemed to have her on edge, having her snap at Sam cause she doesn't want to get yelled at by their father. It wasn't Sam's fault though. He was probably lonely and wanted to play or something. Deanna hopped off the chair and climbed onto the bed behind Sam and wrapped her arms around him. For now they are almost the same size, but soon she'll be taller than him and after that he's going to be taller than her. Sam leaned into her, still nibbling on his sandwich. "I'm sorry I yelled at you Sammy. Are you angry with me?"

Sam shook his head. "I thought you were angry at me."

Deanna rest her chin on his shoulder. "No, homework makes me mad." She smiled against his cheek and she could feel him reciprocate.

Sam turned around and hugged Deanna. He was small and warm and smelled like ham. "I love you DeeDee."

"Me too Sammy." When they pulled away Deanna noticed that his sandwich had fallen apart. "Shit Sammy, did you get Mayo on me?"

Deanna turned so Sam could see her back. "Uhoh."

"Sammy!"

After a hot shower and one for Sam, the two cuddled up into one bed as Deanna read him a bed time story. It wasn't long before the words lulled him to sleep. Deanna stayed awake a little longer, listening to his gentle breathing before she too slipped away into dream land.

Her rest seemed short lived when she heard scratching sounds coming from the door. Deanna could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She looked over at the other bed and her father wasn't in it. Deanna remembered that her father would give a special knock if it was him. What she was hearing now was no such knock. It had to be some kind of monster. Her mind was racing at a million miles an hour trying to think of all the kinds of monsters that could possibly be at the door. Deanna reached for the blade under her pillow. She silently slid off of the bed onto her feet. She tiptoed up to te door, blade firm between her hands. 'It's an extension of your arm' Deanna told herself.

She hid in the darkness of the wall beside the door. It was now or never, this was the moment her father told her about, time to be brave. The door finally creeked open and a dark figure loomed in the doorway. It grunted as it took a shambled step forward, big mistake. With all her strength, Deanna plunged the blade into it's side and the creature howled in pain.

Suddenly there was a burst of light and Deanna withdrew the blade to shield her eyes. When they adjusted, she realized in horror what she had done. Her father crumpled over onto his hands and knees on the floor, holding onto his now bleeding side. All the noise had woken Sam up and now he was crying. "DeeDee what did you do!?"

Sam rushed over to their father, but John put up a hand to stop him. "It's OK Sammy, she didn't mean it." Deanna could smell the Whiskey roll off his lips. John reached out his hand to her. "Give me the knife." Johns breathing was heavey from a mixture if the drink and his wound. He placed his hand on Deanna's, trying to pry her fingers off the weapon. "It's OK Deanna."

Deanna hadn't realized how tight her grip was until she painfully peeled her fingers off the handle. The blood was still dripping off the tip. "I thought- I thought you..."

"I know Deanna." John shifted and sat on the floor, leaning against the closest bed.

"What do we do? You need to go to the hospital." Deanna had her hands reached out like she was going to help, but they were shaking so bad that she pulled them away, pressing them to her chest to still her heart.

"No, get the first aid kid from the car. Now is the perfect opportunity for you to learn how to do stitches." Deanna felt the hot tears well in her eyes. "Don't cry Deanna. You have to be strong. Look, you're scaring Sammy."

Deanna turned towards Sam and saw that he was trembling. "It's OK Sammy." She tried to reach out and comfort him, but he moved away from her. That hurt, that hurt her really bad. He was afraid of her. "I never..." Deanna shut her eyes tight, trying to swallow the hard lump in her throat. When she opened her eyes she had a look of determination. "Sammy look at me." She snapped her fingers at him. "I want you to go to the bathroom and get the towels." Sam nodded and rushed to the bathroom. Deanna turned to her father. "Gimme the keys." John placed the car keys in her hand. As soon as they touched her fingers she was out the door, running to the Impala, unlocking the trunk and-

That was the first time she saw it. Her fathers duffle bag partially open with the tip of a rifle sticking out. She slowly reached her hand out and unzipped the bag all the way. Her eyes widened at the sight of the full rifle, a hand gun and a sawn off shot gun. There were a few boxes of bullets and a flask. She swallowed hard as she rezipped the bag and grabbed the first aid kit, closing the trunk behind her. She ran back to the motel room and Sam was there applying pressure to their father's wound.

"Move aside Sammy." Deanna put down the first aid kit next to her father and took Sam's place.

"What do I do?" Sam asked wide eyed and still shaking.

"Just sit on the bed and don't move." John said as he opened the box and pulled out a small bottle of vodka. He uncaped it with his teeth and took a swig. He handed the bottle to Deanna. "I want you to remove the towl and pour this on the wound."

"Are you sure?" Deanna asked, hesitant to do what he said.

"Yes. Now, it's gonna hurt like hell and I'm gonna curse and try to tell you to stop. Don't stop. You understand?" Deanna nodded. "OK." John took a deep breath. "I'm ready." Deanna looked at the bottle in her hand, she could smell the alcohol wafting from the neck. She took a deep breath herself as if doing so was gonna help her with the pain she's not gonna feel. She tipped the bottle and watched as the clear liquid poured out onto her fathers flesh. "Son of a bitch! Fucking shit!" John looked down as his blood washed away.

Deanna stopped pouring. "I'm sorry."

John looked up at her. "No, keep going. Make sure it's clean. Leave some though." Deanna poured again and John sucked in a breath. When the blood washed completely away Deanna handed her father the bottle. "Ok, now take the needle and that string and thread it."

Deanna grabbed the needle and string and struggled to thread it through. When she was finally able to get it, she looked at her father expectantly. "Now what?"

"Dip it in some alcohol, then you know what you need to do." John motioned with his eyes to his wound that was still trickling blood. Deanna dipped the needle and most of the string in the vodka. She took another deep breath to steady her hand. "You can do this Deanna, I know you can."

Deanna swallowed as she stabbed the needle into her father's skin. John sucked on another breath. His fist was shaking with every stab of the needle and the drag of the string through his flesh to close the wound shut. Deanna wasn't very good at sewing, so the stitches were uneven and in different directions, she even had to go over some parts twice, to her father a displeasure to get it sewn right. After about a long 15 minutes of torturous sewing, Deanna was done. There was blood all over her hands. With the last of the vodka she washed away the blood on the stitching and wrapped gauze around her fathers torso, per his instructions. "I don't want to do that ever again."

John rubbed the stitching on his side. "You might have to, actually, more than likely will. You may even have to do it to yourself if I'm not around."

"What about me, will I have to do that?" Sam asked from his place on the bed. Deanna had forgotten he was even there cause he had stayed so quiet.

"Maybe Sammy, but for now, let's leave the medical work to your sister." John looked over at Deanna. "She needs the practice."

Deanna made a face. "I'm going to bed."

John grabbed her by the arm and pulled her close so that her could whisper in her ear. The stench of alcohol was still on his breath. "That was a good hit Deanna, but sloppy. We need to train you some more." He let her go and she just stared at him. When was this going to be over?

"DeeDee, you still have blood on your hands." Sam reached out and took her hand.

Deanna smiled. "Thanks Sammy. I'll clean up. You go back to bed." Sam nodded and crawled back into bed. As Deanna head towards the bathroom, she heard her father shuffle to his feet. When she got to the sink and turned on the light, she noticed that she had some how managed to get blood on her face. She looked like she had just done something horrible. Was this gonna be her life now, sewing stitches and fighting monsters with big knives? She closed her eyes hoping to herself that it doesn't get worse. Not for Sam at least, never for Sam.