Innocent Sins

~Chapter 10 – Normal~

BPOV

Jacob had called me a few times during the week, but thankfully, I always had something to do and couldn't meet with him. I told him that I wasn't interested in a relationship, but he used the 'just friends' tactic, even though I knew he wanted more. The idea of having a boyfriend seemed so foreign and undesirable to me, though at that point, I knew I'd make an exception for the right person. I'd even take his strange mood swings because being with him just felt right.

The weekend came, and I figured that Edward was going to back out of going to the zoo with us, because he never returned all my texts over the week, but on Saturday I finally got a text from him asking my address so he could meet us.

I was still getting ready when I heard the doorbell, but I also heard Carlie racing down the stairs to answer it.

"Hi Edward," I heard her say enthusiastically.

"Hey, how are you?" he greeted her.

I tied my hair in a quick ponytail, and hurried out of my room.

"Hey," I said to Edward, trying to be casual despite the way my heart jumped when my eyes met his.

"Hi, am I too early?" he asked.

"No, not at all. Let me get just get my purse and we can leave."

We got to the zoo, and Edward paid for our admission. I argued about it, but he wouldn't listen, in fact, he insisted on paying for everything; the snacks, souvenirs for Carlie, he even bought the wafers to feed the giraffes.

"I should make sure you come with us everywhere, you can be my sugar-daddy," I joked.

"I'm surprised you haven't already found yourself one of those," Edward joked back.

"Oh, well I've had offers, but you have something that none of the others had."

"And what's that?"

"Hair." We both laughed.

"Edward, can I have a piggyback ride?" Carlie asked as we walked towards the lion exhibit.

"Carlie, Edward doesn't want to…"

"Please Edward, my feet hurt?"

"You really don't have to," I told him, but he just smiled crookedly at me.

"No problem, jump on," he said as he kneeled down. Carlie climbed on Edward's back and he carried her like she was a spoiled princess through the zoo.

Edward was completely different when he was around Carlie. He was sweet and attentive and seemed to want to give her anything she asked for. But he wasn't just that way with her; he acted like that to me as well. There were no strange mood swings, and he wasn't odd whatsoever; he just acted like a normal everyday guy who seemed to be genuinely enjoying his time with us.

And we laughed, a lot.

I didn't even think Edward was capable of laughing as much as he did with Carlie, and when we had already seen everything there was to see at the smallish zoo, he suggested that we look at everything again, as if he really wasn't ready to end our time together.

"You really don't have to keep carrying her like that," I told him because Carlie was still riding on his back.

"It's not like she's heavy," he said as Carlie smiled and played with his hair.

When we got to the end of the zoo for the second time, we figured it was time to get going.

"Edward, do you want to come over for dinner?" Carlie asked him.

"Sure, are you cooking?" he asked her surprisingly. He had been doing anything she asked him to do, so I figured he'd accept her invitation, but I thought that he'd hesitate a little.

"Yeah, I'm a great cook. I make peanut butter and jelly, cereal, pop-tarts, pizza crackers; pretty much anything you would want."

"Wow, sounds great."

We went back to our apartment, and even though Carlie offered to 'cook', I decided to take over and make dinner myself. Carlie was showing Edward her room, and from the sound of it, she was making him play dolls with her, which was hilarious. They came back down after a while, and played a few rounds of go fish before I finished dinner.

"So, where's Angela? I thought she lived here too," Edward asked me as he was handing Carlie plates to set the table.

"Oh, she does…technically. She works long hours as a journalist, but lately she's been staying at her boyfriend's house. I actually feel really bad about being here, it was only supposed to be temporary and now that she's back together with Ben, I'm sure they'd like their condo back."

"So are you going to move?"

"Well, I've been looking, but I really wanted something closer to the hospital and I didn't want Carlie to have to change schools. It's just hard to find something in the right location for my budget."

"What about the apartments on Main?"

I laughed once humorously. "I can't afford those places on a nurse's salary."

"I can talk to Carlisle about giving you a raise."

"Yeah, and maybe you can ask him to give me a million dollar Christmas bonus as well." I said sarcastically. "No, I make what all nurses make, and that's fine, I just need to find a place that I can afford."

"Well, why don't you and Carlie just move into my place?"

"Your place, right." I said with a giggle, assuming he was kidding. "Maybe we can share cars too. In fact, why don't we just get married?"

"No, look, I'm hardly ever there; I stay with Alice most of the time or I go to the Cullen compound, so it's always empty."

"I can't afford the rent at a place like that, and I can't let you pay for it."

"It's already paid off," he said quickly.

"Well, then you should sell it or rent it out, or something. I don't want to take advantage of you like that."

"You're not taking advantage of me, the place is empty and I have no intentions on selling it. Why don't you just come look at it tomorrow, and see what you think?"

"Edward," I said while shaking my head.

"What kind of sugar daddy would I be if I didn't make sure that you had a nice place to stay?" he said with a straight face, but then we both started laughing. Though I had no intentions to actually move there, I agreed to go see his place, so after dinner he gave me directions and we planned to meet the next day.

We had spent the whole day together, and yet the moment he left, I already missed him. It was like he was the missing piece and just fit with Carlie and me, and without him we weren't complete.

…..

The next day Carlie and I were both excited to go to Edward's place, but it was simply because we wanted to see him again. We went in the building, which had a doorman, and walked right to the elevator.

"Um, excuse me, Miss?" A man wearing a uniform said, stopping us from going any further.

"Yes?"

"This is a private residence, we don't allow any soliciting."

"Oh, we're here to see Edward Jam-Cullen," I said, still having a hard time remembering that his last name had changed.

"Oh, Miss Swan?"

"Yes."

"Right, I'm sorry, he is expecting you. Go on up."

We went up to the top floor, and knocked on the only door there.

"Hey, you made it," Edward said as he invited us in.

I thought that Alice's place was fancy, but it was nowhere near as beautiful as Edward's mostly abandoned condo. It was not only the most extravagant residential place I had ever seen, it was also the building's penthouse. Even if I was willing to accept his offer to let us live there, I could never picture Carlie and me in a place like that.

"Wow, this is…big," I said as I looked around. Carlie hugged Edward and then ran off to discover the condo for herself.

"Yeah, I know, it's a bit much. That's actually why I'm never here," he agreed.

"Why do you still have it if you don't like staying here?"

"Well, I sort of like the idea of the doorman downstairs. They don't let people come here unless they are informed by the residence beforehand."

"So, you don't like unexpected visitors?" I said teasingly.

"No," he said seriously. "I don't like the idea of just anyone being able to walk up to my door at anytime; you never know what kind of insane people are out there. Which is why I think this place would be perfect for you and Carlie, it's as safe as you can possibly get in this city."

As crazy as it sounded, I actually understood completely what he was saying. Especially with what happened to me as a teenager, I could definitely see the benefit to the extra security that the condo had to offer.

He showed me around a little more, and almost seemed eager for me to agree to live there.

"So, what do you think?"

"It's beautiful and I really appreciate the offer, but I just think it's far too fancy for Carlie and me. Carlie is eight, she paints, and makes messes everywhere; it just wouldn't work."

"Look, you don't have to worry about any of that. Don't think of it as my place that you're borrowing, I'll even put it in your name if that would make it easier on you. Once we get the glass table and white couches out, it won't feel so stiff anymore. It's three bedrooms, which means that Carlie can have a real room of her own, and you can even have a guest room for when your dad visits."

"Would you visit?" I asked without thinking.

"I'm not going to be here bothering you, this will be your place and I won't be dropping by at random times."

"But what if I want you to?" I said like a desperate idiot.

He just stared at me for a minute uncomfortably, but then Carlie ran back to us excitedly. "Mom, I already picked out my room, and it's huge."

"Carlie, I haven't decided anything yet?" I looked at Edward again, and he was smirking smugly because he knew that it was my best option, and despite my reluctance, I was going to accept his offer.

…

Carlie and I spent the next few weeks adjusting to living in such a posh lifestyle, though Edward was right, having the extra security made a world of difference. I didn't realize how much fear I still carried on a daily basis, until some of it was alleviated by living with a full time guard in the lobby. Before we even had a chance to move anything in, Edward had changed out the glass table with a sturdy cherry oak one, and the white couches were replaced with a darker neutral tan. He must have known that Carlie and I didn't actually have any furniture, because every room was completely finished, even Carlie's room was all decked out perfectly like any eight year old girl would want. An equal blend of girly frill, mixed with soccer and even some baseball memorabilia, but still left enough room for Carlie to bring all her own stuff in. He must have taken notes when he was in her room before at Angela's. My and the guest rooms were both finished as well, both elegant but comfortable at the same time.

Since moving away from Angela, she made a point to still see us as much as possible. She still hadn't seen Edward again since high school, and although she thought it was odd that he was letting us live in his condo for free, she encouraged me to just be grateful and accept it. Charlie however, was a different story.

"So, he just gave you this place, no strings attached?" Charlie asked skeptically when he came for a visit.

"Yes dad, I'm not his hooker or anything," I said knowing exactly where his mind was going.

"I just don't get it. Didn't you say that Jameson was weird?"

"Well, he was…unconventional when I knew him in school, but he's really a great guy. He just doesn't ever use this place and he knew I needed to move."

"Do you have feelings for this guy?"

"Dad," I said embarrassed.

"Ok, sorry, I'll mind my own business."

"Thank you," I said. "Besides, I thought you wanted me to find a nice guy."

"I do, but this whole thing is just….well, I really hope it works out for you. I just can't stand the idea of you ever being hurt again."

"And that's the main reason why I agreed to this. As much as I try to forget about it, I still worry sometimes that someone is out there watching me. This place makes me feel safe, and that's not an easy thing to do."

"Okay kiddo. But if this guy has any ulterior motives for this random act of kindness, I'll kill him."

"Well, I'll be sure to warn him that, the next time I see him."

My dad stayed in our guest room overnight, and left the next morning. We had been in the huge condo for almost three weeks, and had yet to see Edward again, which made me miss him even more. Carlie missed him as well, and kept asking when he was going to visit again, but I didn't have an answer because like before, he wouldn't return any of my texts.

It wasn't until I actually needed Edward again, did he finally come back around. My usual sitter was sick and she couldn't pick up Carlie from school one day. I tried to get off of work, but we were swamped and needed everyone there. Angela couldn't get off work either, and so I decided to call Alice. I wasn't exactly sure what Alice did outside of volunteering at the hospital, but apparently she was busy as well but she told me not to worry because she knew Edward was available. Since Edward never responded to my calls and texts, Alice called him and then called me back saying he'd pick her up right away. Edward didn't keep a key to the condo, but I made sure Carlie had one in her backpack for emergencies, so the two of them went there afterwards.

When I finally got home that night, the condo was dark, but there was a low hum from the television in the living room. I walked quietly towards the sound and saw Edward watching whatever was playing, and Carlie was asleep across his lap.

"Hey," I said quietly. "Thanks so much for this."

"Oh, no problem," he said softly, and gently picked Carlie up and carried her to bed.

"So, did she behave herself?" I asked as we walked back into the living room.

"Yeah, she was great. We did her homework and then watched some Disney movies. You know, all those movies are really scary. There's always kidnapping and imprisonment and the villains always try to actually kill the protagonist. It's really disturbing; I can't believe they make kid's movies like that."

"Well, kids these days don't seem to be afraid of that sort of thing. I know I wasn't when I was her age."

"If only that horror could stay in the movies," Edward said somberly.

"If only," I agreed.

Edward grabbed his coat and went for the door.

"Hey, thanks again. You really saved me tonight."

"I appreciate you trusting me enough. I really love spending time with Carlie, she's an amazing kid, you've done a remarkable job raising her."

"I've really missed you…we've really missed you," I said, not wanting him to think that I was the only one who wanted him around, though I was sure Carlie mentioned it several times during the evening they spent together.

"Yeah, I've been busy lately."

"Well, I'm glad you weren't busy today."

"Me too. Well, I'll see you," he said and opened the door.

"Will you?" I asked desperately. "See me, I mean. It feels like it's been a long time since we saw each other last, and I was just really hoping we could get together again."

"Look, it's not that I don't want to spend time with you, cause I do, but I just don't think it's the best idea."

I didn't even think, I just acted; I stepped into him and planted my mouth to his. I didn't even realize what I had done until I was already doing it, but I couldn't pull myself away. I hadn't kissed anyone like that since I was sixteen, but I couldn't think straight in order to be self conscious about it either. His lips felt so amazing against mine, and tasted even better. He moved his mouth with mine, and I could feel his hands grip the back of my shirt tightly, as if he was trying to find the will to pull himself off me.

Somehow we ended up on the couch where I was laying on my back and he was on top of me. Our tongues met for the first time, and they realized that they were very fond of each other, so they danced together passionately between us. The kiss became more frenzied, and he responded by lifting my leg and hitching it over his hip. I had never been so aroused in all my life as I felt him pushed up against me, and I wanted nothing more than to remove the clothes that acted as barriers between us.

I started unbuttoning his shirt as he pushed himself even closer to me, sending a wave of electricity all over my body. When his shirt was all the way open, I caressed my hand down his perfect chest to his abdomen and started undoing his pants….

But Edward pulled away.

"I can't…we can't do this," he said breathlessly before re-buttoning his shirt.

"Edward, I want to be with you," I told him desperately. "I never wanted to be with anyone like this before, and I don't know how to turn that off."

"You don't know what you're talking about. You don't even know who I really am," he said quietly, which confused me.

"Then tell me, tell me who you really are, but I know in my heart that it won't matter. Nothing you say can change what I'm feeling."

"Don't you think that I wish I could be who you need me to be, but I can't. I'm not this nice, good guy, I can't change who I am, or the things that I have just let happen."

I didn't really know what he was talking about, but I didn't care either. I just wanted to be with him, and if he felt the same way, then that was all that mattered.

"Do you want to be with me at all?" I asked.

He looked deep in my eyes, and though it was obvious that he didn't want to admit it, he said, "yes. I want to be with you more than anything, but I just can't."

And then he got up and left. I was so confused and didn't know what to think or how to feel. Although he rejected me, I believed it when he said it wasn't because he didn't want me, because I could feel that he did, but that almost made it worse in a way. What could be so wrong that he wasn't willing to give us a chance?

I was tired, but I knew I'd never be able to sleep, so I picked up what little mess was in the kitchen, and tried to get my mind off of what happened, but I couldn't. I never actually had sex before, nor did I ever want to, but everything was different with Edward. He made me feel strong and…normal. I wanted to have a real, normal relationship with him, and I wanted to experience what it was like to have him inside of me. The way his mouth felt against mine, was pure magic, and if he really wanted to be with me too, then I just had to figure out what was holding him back so I could assure him that it wasn't a problem.

I was about to go to bed and just obsess about my non-relationship with Edward, when there was a quiet knock at the door. I was nervous about opening it at first, but then I remembered that I was in a secured building and random people couldn't get past the guard.

I opened the door slowly, and I was surprised to see Edward standing there.

"I really don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore," he said slowly.

"Come here," I said softly, and pulled him inside and shut the door behind him. We locked our lips together and stumbled our way to my bedroom. His kisses trailed to my neck and down my shoulder, before he pulled back and lifted my shirt over my head. We continued undressing each other until we were in nothing but our underwear. Every touch was delicate, and every movement lingered tenderly as if he knew exactly how sensitive I was.

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered.

"Then don't leave me," I whispered back.

"I don't ever want to leave you," he said before laying me back, removing my panties, and positioning himself over me. He guided my legs open and moved between them. He wrapped me securely in his arms and I held on to him as if my life depended on his embrace, and ever so gently, he pushed into me. He didn't move again for a moment, he just stayed inside of me and looked deep into my eyes searchingly. I wasn't sure what he was looking for there, but I did my best to convey my continued desire for him by kissing him passionately, and he responded by beginning to thrust.

I ran my hands up his back and knotted them in his hair, as his kisses on my bare collar sent charges down my spine. He kissed me again on the lips, and then on the tip of my nose before resting his forehead against mine.

"Are you okay?" he murmured, but kept his steady thrusting pace.

I forgot how to speak, so I nodded lightly before his lips found their way back to mine. His speed started picking up, and my body tightened blissfully around him before the electric charges exploded until a warm wave of pulsating numbness took over every inch of my body.

He let a slight moan escape his perfect mouth, and I could feel his body tighten over me, and another burst of warmth imploded inside of me.

His body stilled, but his lips still weren't finished yet. We kissed a while longer before he finally pulled out and laid next to me. I rolled over so I could kiss his chest before resting my head there, and I fell asleep to the tranquil drumming of his heart, right below my ear.

…

I awoke the next morning to the sweet scent of Edward's skin, and smiled to myself as I felt our legs still intertwined. In fact, neither of us had moved at all during the night, and I wondered how I ever managed to sleep without him.

I thought about getting up and making breakfast, but the idea of peeling myself away from him in that moment was actually unfathomable. It was still early, and I knew Carlie would sleep for another hour at least, so I laid awake across his chest, perfectly content.

Edward started stirring a little while later, and when his eyes finally opened, he smiled at me.

"Good morning," he said with a raspy voice.

"You know, this is the second time that we've woken up together, and I have to say, I really like it." I turned my head to look at him better, and rested my chin right bellow his collar bone.

"Well, maybe we'll just have to make a habit out of it," he said with my favorite crooked smile.

"Technically, this is your condo, and who am I to stop you from sleeping here from time to time…or all of the time," I said in a joking manner, but was completely serious.

"It's only a matter of time until you discover the truth," he said cryptically.

"And what truth is that?"

"That I'm a horrible slob," he said with a smile. "And I tend to leave the toilet seat up."

"I highly doubt the slob part. I've seen Alice's place, and there wasn't a speck of dirt anywhere. As far as the toilet seat thing goes, well you'll just have to change that." I kissed him before forcing myself to get up and get dressed.

"You know, I hate when you leave, but I love watching you go," he said as I pulled my panties over my hips.

"Oh, that's original. How many times have you used that line in the past?"

He laughed. "None, but I heard it in a movie once, and I always hoped I find the right time to use it."

I bit my bottom lip playfully. "Stick around, and I'll let you use any cheesy line you want on me."

"I may have to take you up on that offer."

"I hope you do."

We both got dressed and went into the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast.

"What are you doing?" he asked me as I put the coffee in the machine and started pushing buttons.

"What?" I asked confused.

"It's an automatic coffee maker," he said and walked over to help me with the settings. "See?"

"Oh…whoops," I smiled sheepishly, but he just smiled back and kissed me again. The kiss started sweet, but then it erupted into another fit of passion as we tried to devour each other's lips.

"Did you guys kiss like that all night?" Carlie asked, completely grossed out. We pulled away from each other immediately, and though I was slightly embarrassed that she had seen us, it didn't seem to bother her at all. "What's for breakfast?" she asked casually.

"I can make the best omelets," Edward told her.

"I don't know, momma makes really good ones," Carlie disagreed.

"Well, you only think that because you've never had mine," he said with a wink.

"Ok, well I'm willing to give yours a try, but I can't promise that they'll be better than mom's."

"Ok," he said with a light laugh.

I was worried about there being some strange awkwardness between us after being completely intimate in that way, but there never was. Edward just fit with us like I knew he would, and Carlie absolutely adored him…and his omelets.

He didn't officially move back into the condo with us, but he never really left either. We spent every day together, and every night making love. When Carlie wasn't at school and we weren't at work, the three of us were together.

Edward was absolutely amazing; there was no trace left of that odd guy with the drastic mood swings, and we were all happy all the time, just like a normal family. I've always considered myself lucky, because with everything that had gone wrong in my life, something beautiful had come out of it. The worst thing that ever happened to me was getting raped at seventeen, but out of that horror, I got my amazing daughter who I wouldn't trade for anything.

But just as my life had become absolutely perfect, I had a horrible feeling that my luck was about to run out.

*dun Dun DUN…Bella learns the truth in the next chapter. I know the romance seemed a bit rushed, but they had felt strong feelings for each other for a while, and I'm tired of dragging it out. Drama and darkness ahead, stay tuned….Please Review*