Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight, I just make them darker.
This is the longest chapter yet. No lemons, sorry. But they're on their way.
Trust me.
Thanks to ma BFF for Hobolicious (which you can find on Facebook).
##
I'm digging through one of the storage lockers in the garage, muttering to myself "Where the hell is it, how hard can it be to find this, come on Sofia, you know it's here…"
"What are you looking for ball buster?"
I'm so surprised I jump, nearly fall backward onto the garage floor, and miss knocking my head on the bumper of Emmett's Jeep by inches.
"What the hell Cullen! What are you doing, stalking me?" Glare at him. Jeez, I didn't even hear him, he's so damned sneaky. "Hey, why aren't you at the bible reading with the rest of them?"
"Why aren't you at the quilting bee with the rest of them?" he parries.
"I asked you first". How mature of me.
Leans against the Aston Martin, just the like one Daniel Craig drives in Quantum of Solace. I fucking love that car and Daniel Craig. Damn, Cullen looks almost tasty against that car, I wish he'd take me for a drive, uh, in the car…
Crosses his legs, places his hands on either side of his hips, leans against the hood. "What is this Sofia? Junior high?" Mimics me: "'I asked you first'. So mature. And to answer your question, yes, I was at the bible reading, but I got restless and bored, and decided to go home, check on Nessie. Saw you headed over here decided to see what trouble you were up to." Tilts his head. "Your turn, bitch." Huh, she looks kinda cute in those Chuck Taylors, all pink, not something she'd usually wear. Wonder where those came from?
I cross my arms. Two can play at this game. "Well, princess, if you must know, I'm looking for a bucket, a flashlight and an army shovel." Your move, creep.
Raises his eyebrows, gives me one of his smug looks. "Oh really? What are you doing, taking up gardening? Or are you burying somebody?" I'd buy that for a dollar, you're not the only one who spends their time in front of the widescreen. "They're in the next locker. Should be on the floor."
Slam the door shut in a huff, open the next one. There they are, right where he said they'd be. Show off…
"I got restless too, and I've already seen Pulp Fiction about a hundred million times, so I split." Parry, thrust.
"You still didn't answer my question. Why are you out here looking for that stuff?"
"If you really must know, I'm going out to look for Night crawlers."
"Night crawlers?"
Oh sweet Jesus, what a dope. "Yes, Cullen, Night crawlers. You know, worms. As in bait?" Dope dope dope. Who has the cutest tush…
"Oh, worms. You going fishing bitch?" I know you are and I'd love to go with you, but to really fish, not what I think you're up to. I bet you cast like a champ. Sun in your hair, so happy, smiling, singing…
He is so. damn. smug. "Yes, Edward, I'm going fishing, tomorrow morning with Charlie. You ever fish, city boy? I bet you never have, I could fish circles around you, cast for Bass along the shore, under docks, land them, get the hook out, all that fun stuff, I love getting my hands in their guts, it would be so fun to share that with you, you'd probably get all squeamish but you'd try, I know you would…
Shifts his weight, re-crosses his legs, tilts his head the other way, looks at me with amused eyes. So damned cute, never realized that before, she is something else, so funny cute when she gets her dander up, chirps like a squirrel. "Yeah. Once. Father took me, up to some lake in Wisconsin. Lake Geneva I think. I was eight, if I recall correctly."
"Oh yeah?" I copy his movements; shift my weight to my other leg. "Did you bait your own hook, or did the butler do that for you? Did he cast your line for you and reel in your fishy too?" Why did you just say that, that came out horrible; Sofia you can be such a bitch.
He straightens up. I've upset him. Stupid stupid stupid!
"Why do you have to be that way Sofia?"
"What way?" I retort defensively.
"So snarky and mean. Why do you do that? I just wanted to have a conversation with you. We've haven't spoken since, uh, that situation in the cottage with Bella." And I've missed that, talking with you, picking that brain of yours. So smart and funny you can be when you loosen up.
"Because it keeps people away, that's why." Stare at him, daring him to reply.
Frowns at me. "'Keeps people away'. Why would you want to do that?" Parries again. We should be on the Olympic fencing team.
I grab my gear make a move around him to leave the garage, head out to the forest. "Because, Dr. Freud, that way I don't get hurt." All those years of therapy, and it takes Edward of all people to draw it out.
He looks down, brushes his hand against my arm as I attempt to squeak by him, between the Jeep and his James Bond sex mobile. "Not everyone is out to get you. I'd never hurt you Sofia." Looks over at me. I make no effort to move my arm from his touch. It's kind of, kind of nice actually. Soothing.
"You sure of that Edward? 'Cause I'm not, considering what's happened over the last couple of days. I feel like a freaking moving target, watch me scatter and run."
Stares down at me. Jeez he's taller than I thought, I like that. Shakes his head, sad look in his eyes. I really really wish she'd ease up on the snark. Not everyone is out to get her. Especially Nessie and me. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all Sofia." Drops his hand, turns to leave the garage, go back to the cottage. His back is to me; he can't see my face as it falls.
"Oh geez Cullen, I'm so sorry, that came out all wrong." He continues walking towards the door, doesn't respond.
"Eddie…Ya wanna go with me, dig for crawlers?" I'm biting my lower lip. Please say yes.
He's at the door now. Turns and looks at me.
One. Two. Three.
Smiles at me, that Goddamn smirk of his.
"Sure. Why not. Might be fun." I practically run over there. Moves his arm to let me duck under it. Smile at each other, real smiles, no snark or smirk on either of our pusses.
Parry. Thrust. Touch made. Point to the gentleman.
##
"Uh, Edward, you're not going to go dig for Crawlers wearing those duds, are you?" Black wool trousers, a pair of suede Prada boots that cost nearly a grand and a grey v-neck sweater that looks so damned good on him, it should be illegal. Just what you want to wear when poking through the woods and digging in the dirt. Screams "get me dirty'.
Please tell me I didn't just say that out loud.
He looks down at me, then at himself; we're nearly at the cottage, I can see the light on in the main room, bet there's a nightlight in Nessie's room; probably a Care Bear or a unicorn flying over a rainbow.
"Huh. Guess this isn't the proper attire, is it? I'll run inside, go change. Come on." On the pathway to the front door now, he walks ahead, opens the door for me. Just like a gentleman. So nice, I love having that done for me.
"Ah, well, thanks, but I'll just hang out here, wait for you to change, if that's okay". Don't need to deal with Bella if she happens to come home, decided she wanted to play Happy Housewife while I'm in there with him; not like either of us are expecting her to, but better safe than sorry. All I wanted to do was to peek in on the baby, maybe cover her up, give her a smooch on the cheek, watch over her as she sleeps. Few more days, this will be all over, get life back to normal. Whatever 'normal' is…
"When what will be over?" He's standing there in the doorway, the light behind him silhouetting his shape; I can barely see his face in the shadow, which I don't like. He's waiting for an answer.
I just cannot lie to him. He'd see right through me.
"The, uh, the thing. You know. The uh, Problem-At-Hand." Hands behind my back, gripping the bucket he passed to me when we reached the door. Bouncing on the balls of my feet my chest feels all fluttery, like there's a bird in there, fighting to escape. He's not saying anything, which makes that sensation grow. Come on, either say something or go change, we don't have all night Cullen. Jebus.
"Oh, the thing. You know you sound like Tony Soprano when you speak that way? And you are no hoodlum sweetie pie." Sweetie pie? Is he…flirting with me?
Shakes his head. Was that a smile? Walks into the house. I hear him take off his boots, pad across the red pine floorboards down to that massive closet of theirs. He's got, what, about three feet of it; the rest is hers, but she never wears any of it; any of those incredible clothes we girls picked out for her; went to New York and Paris to find them for her for heaven's sake, all those beautiful dresses and gowns and couture pieces that she has nothing but disdain for. If I lived in that cottage, I'd be playing dress up every single day, put on little shows for him, show him how much I appreciated him, and how pretty I wanted to be for him; and the shoes, oh my God, the shoes in there and…
I would love to see you do that Sofia. Such a kick watching you enjoy being so girly, rushing in and out, changing, looking so lovely, spinning around, watching your skirts flutter around you…
What am I thinking? I live with Fred Flintstone, not Edward Cullen. Rico Suave versus James Bond. That would be so nice, to have someone who appreciates you, doesn't think of you as some kind of sex toy.
I sigh, wonder what he's doing in there that's taking so long.
"Shhh, Nessie, go back to sleep…It's late princess… You need your bear? Did he fall on the floor? I'll get him for you… Where's Maggie, is she there with you? Ah good there she is, there's your kitty cat…"
I bite my lower lip. The baby is up. I so want to be in there, cuddle her sing her to sleep. Not my kid, not my kid, not my kid…
"Nessie, go back to sleep. Daddy's going worm hunting with Auntie Sofia. What? No, she's going fishing with Grandpa Charlie in the morning….no, Grandpa Carlisle doesn't fish…maybe you should ask her when you see her later I'm sure she'd take you worm hunting too…no, we don't eat worms, worms are yucky…sweet dreams princess, Daddy loves you…."
Hear the gentle click as he closes the door to her room. I so want to be in there with them. Now he's in that monster closet, I can hear drawers open and shut, he's picking something up from the floor; oh jeez he bumped his head.
"You okay Eddie?"
Muffled, I can just see him rubbing his head, that hair of his. "Yeah, I'm okay thanks." She asks if I'm okay, so why won't she come in, snuggle Nessie?
Light spills out onto the lawn. He leans out one of the leaded-glass closet windows, whispers. "Sofia, don't be so silly, come in here. I'm sure Nessie would love to get a snuggle from you." And so would I.
"What if you-know-who decides to come back?" Chicken.
"Don't worry about Bella. After the last conversation we had, I don't think that's something we need to worry about. If she does, we'll handle it. Besides, you're stronger than she is. Come on Sofia. Please? For Nessie?"
Through the door, slip off the Chucks; tip toe down the hall.
Ignore the Matisse.
Open the door. Catch my breath.
Love lies dreaming, softly snoring, clutching her stuffed bear and kitty cat, rosette lips pursed, bathed in the light from her unicorn nightlight.
Pure love.
Edward watches us from the doorway, crosses his arms.
And smiles.
##
"Dude, over here! I have to shine the light on and off them really fast, otherwise, they scoot back down into their hole!"
"Where? Where? Damn, they're quick! I can't grab onto them in time. "
Damn? Mr. Prim and Proper said "Damn"?
Well, damn…
"Edward Anthony Cullen, you just cussed. Shame on you!" I could not resist. He glances up at me, freakin' winks. Winks! What. The. Hell?
He stands there grinning, feeling all smug and happy with himself. "Do we have enough? We're halfway to Forks by now. Can we stop?"
The crawlers have burrowed themselves in the dirt we've thoughtfully provided in the bucket. Hiding from the light, feeding on the nutrients the soil provides.
"Yeah, that's fine." Stick my right index finger in, stir up the dirt a bit more, give them some oxygen ponder my next move. "Thanks."
All in all, we managed to grab about 35 crawlers, more than enough for Charlie and I to burn through tomorrow morning, as we make our contribution to the pan fish population of the Quillayute River system.
I could have bought a dozen or so at the bait shop, but couldn't see the sense. It's a lot more fun to catch them yourself, especially with the help of someone else who would never think to do this at all; like him.
It was just too difficult for me to stop looking at Edward; he looked so adorably hilarious; I had to keep biting my tongue. I'd flash the light over and about the ground, looking for the moistest earth, the kind they just love. And I have to admit, partly to watch Edward's half-assed attempts at Crawler retrieval. He'd skitter over to where the light briefly shone, reach down and attempt to nip the end of the worm as it slithered down the hole, a frantic escape from the light it abhorred. I couldn't decide which was funnier – Edward's clumsiness or the fact that he looked like he had purchased his outfit from the Emmett Cullen Fall 2008 Collection. Battered, dirty jeans that fit him like a second skin, accentuating his fine ass and slim hips, worn green plaid flannel shirt, and distressed black leather biker jacket paired with ass-kicker biker boots do not say "Snotward Cullen" at all.
And I'd be damned if he didn't pull off that look with panache. He rocked it; looked fucking fierce. I shook my head watching him, and laughed.
"What? What's so funny?"
"You. You're funny."
Cocks his head, puts his hands on his hips. The light from the electric torch points down between our feet. Pink Chuck Taylors and Biker Boots; the Yin and Yang.
"How so?" Waits.
"Well, because, well…you look so so, I dunno, hobolicious in that get up. You know, your hair is all mussed up, and ya got dirt all over your hands and those clothes, it's just not something I'm used to seeing you in everyday. I'd love to see you like this more often. You look so dirty scrumptious. You know, not so tightly wound. I like it. A lot."
"Really?" Shifts the bucket from his right to left hand, glances down at our feet, looks back up. Furrows his brow. "Well, this isn't something I'd wear everyday, but it is an interesting change. 'Dirty scrumptious?' Heh…"She's rubbing her right foot over her left shin, biting her lip, looking down at the ground and then back up to me. Is she flirting with me? 'Hobolicious'? Only she'd come up with that one…
His eyes take me in, slowly moving from my toes up to my eyes. "I could ask the same of you. Whats up with those pink Chuck Taylors, and those jeans with the holes in the knees? Usually you're wearing those Manolo Joan-Crawford-Fuck-Me pumps with those pencil skirts of yours." That reveal one fine behind I might add. "You look, uh, kinda, well, cute. Really. I like that on you. Not so, uh, ballbusterish Fia." Gazes down at our feet again. It's a standoff now.
So we stand there, waiting for the other to make the next move, wondering where this gavotte will take us.
He starts to say something, thinks better of it; stops. I take the bait.
"What? Come on don't tease me like that. What were you going to say?" My right foot keeps rubbing that left shin, nervous and exhilarated at the same time.
He rubs his head where he bumped it, forgetting about the dirt on his hands. Looks annoyed with himself when he remembers that.
"I was…I was wondering if you're in any... hurry to get back to the house…" God I hope she isn't…
Am I in a hurry? To let this delicious feeling, this indescribable je ne sais qua that hunting for worms has allowed us to develop?
"No. No hurry at all. Want to stay out here? Go somewhere else? Like down by the river, on that big flat rock that we use as our launching pad?" Watch the stars? Calculate Pi? I'd go anywhere with you now Cullen, and do not ask me why, but I would…
Smiles. Thank you God. "Sure, that's a great idea. I like it down there as well."
"Don't you have to check on the baby? Are you sure?" Shut the hell up already Sofia.
Laughs softly. "I don't need a baby monitor to check on her. I'd know if something was amiss." And I bet you would beat me back missy…
You bet your sweet ass I would Eddie….
He starts, surprised. Smiles again. "Let's go down to the river before we change our minds. Race you there."
He wins. I don't even make an effort to do otherwise.
##
The sky is so clear we can see the Milky Way stretching it's way across the universe, a lightshow from God, just for us.
Hug my knees to my chest, rest my chin there, cross my ankles. Adoring this feeling of calmness, something that I haven't felt in ages.
He's sitting next to me, right knee bent with his left leg lying on the rock beneath us. Right hand cupping his knee, the left supporting part of his weight; we both look upward, too afraid to look at the other, to see what the other is thinking, where we think this might go.
"What do you remember Sofia? About Chicago?" He throws out the first pitch.
I sigh; think a bit. "I remember how hot the summers were, how I loved to walk down by the lake, take in some of the breeze. Not think about what I was doing, how I was living. I loved that, walking by the lake. How 'bout you?"
Bites the inside of his right cheek. "Yeah, I remember that heat too. Felt like a blast furnace. And how incredibly cold the winters could be too. The wind off the prairie sucked up a lot of the cold, drove it into the house no matter how thick the curtains were. I remember waking up some mornings and I swore I could see my breath…when I still needed to breathe." He smiles at me, and I smile back, remembering that once vital necessity.
"Yeah, I remember how in the winter the heat from the registers would make my flat feel like a hothouse at times." I shake my head, laughing at how I learned not leave houseplants sitting on steam registers; I came home to find a row of dead fern gracing the bay windows in the front room.
"I loved that place of yours Fia. It was so different from my home. Less, restrained, I suppose. Always calm and warm there." Looks over at me, light dances in his eyes remembering.
I chuckle, loving the thought of how he'd come over in the afternoon, anxious both to be with me, and at the same time, not get caught by that mother of his.
"Heh, well, your mother was no great fan of mine, was she? It was like you were playing hooky with the devil in her eyes." I look over at him; see just the slightest hint of sadness building in the corner of his eyes.
He looks down, stares out at some point across the river, that only he can see. "Well, she just never understood that whole situation did she? It wasn't easy for her you know." Flexes his fingers, refolds his hands.
"No, I suppose she didn't" I murmur. "But it wasn't exactly a bed of roses for me either." I stare at that same infinite point in the forest. "She loved you Eddie, she only wanted the best for you. I can see how difficult it was for her to accept the whole deal." Sigh. Wish we could have been friends, had more in common than she realized.
We don't say anything for a while. Just thinking about Chicago. His parents.
How life changed so much for us in 1918.
"Can you imagine Eddie" I start, "that so few people today know about it, the pandemic? It's just unreal. So many people lost, and so fast…."
He shakes his head in agreement. "It was frightening. Twenty-one million died. And how you managed to escape it, I'll never know Fia. "
"I didn't."
"What do you mean? You never caught it, not like we did."
"Sure I did. Don't you remember? You took care of me; I was sick for three days that spring. Your mom even sent over chicken soup with you once."
I smile, remembering how rich and buttery that soup was; they had a German woman, Mrs. Bauer, running their kitchen. She knew about the situation, sympathized with me. Snuck me into the house when his mother was out and about on one of her numerous charity dealings; fed me those delicious German Spice cookies.
We'd sit there in the kitchen, the three of us. Two of us knitting away, while Edward worked on his sums and schoolwork. Enjoying each other's company and the warmth of the kitchen. But knowing that at five o'clock, I'd have to leave, and the whole illusion would be gone until the next time we could meet, without her knowing.
Looks down, then back up at me. "No Fia, I don't remember that. I'm sorry."
He doesn't remember. The memories are starting to fade away for both of us now.
"You did. Mrs. Bauer made her chicken soup, and your father told your mother about me being sick, so she made up a basket and sent you over with it. You fed me. Don't you remember that? You were so nervous I ended up wearing most of it. But it was delicious no matter where it landed."
We both laugh, trying to remember that day, how sick I was, burning with fever, feeling like the top of my head was going to explode, lungs aching, how it hurt to breathe.
"That was the nicest thing she did for me Eddie. It had to be hard for her, but she did it and I appreciated it."
"Yeah, she felt for you being so ill. I think she knew deep down what you meant to both of us." Pauses, thinking back to that horrible year. "So when you got sick, that was the same thing, just a different…strain?" Furrows his brow, thinking, dissecting the virus that tore thru the world like the Four Horsemen, death and destruction in their wake.
"Yeah. Then when it came back in the fall, that's when all hell broke loose."
"That's putting it mildly." Closes his eyes, remembering. "You sure picked the wrong door at the wrong time that day, didn't you?"
"I don't think so. I knew what to expect." Look at me look at me you need to remember this part of us our history…
Shifts his weight, turns to me, leans on his right hand, stares straight at me. "You did? How?"
"Because your mother told me before she died. I was with her when she went."
He's shocked; he never knew about that final exchange between his mother and myself.
"I knew you were with Father, but not my mother. She told you…what?" Genuinely intrigued now.
Turn to him, leaning on my left hand, return his stare, probing those eyes for a glimpse of what he knows, about that terrible day.
"She said that she told Carlisle to save you, no matter what, and that I was to stay with you, always." My fate sealed, with those simple words.
Leans in towards me, I can smell his breath, it's like cinnamon…
"So that's why when you saw…"
"….Carlisle with his teeth buried in your Carotid, I didn't scream or freak out. She knew what he was Eddie." And I found out too…
Narrows his eyes, thinking. So that's why she was so calm. I always wondered about that…
"Do you remember that week? I stayed in that bed with you the entire time. Holding your hand, wiping your face. Cuddling you when it got really bad. Carlisle said it was the sweetest thing he ever saw, next to Nessie." I smile, in spite of how terrifying that week really was.
"Yeah, parts of it." Your humming to me, thumbs rubbing my temples, the way your breasts felt against my face when the pain was the worst, when you held my head against your chest…so nice, so safe…My angel, enfolding me in your wings protecting me, keeping me close, I'd love to kiss you now…
I clear my throat. Too close, he's too close, I want to kiss him, don't do it, he's a jerk…
Moves towards me, his lips are so close, so close, please, no, don't, yes please, lifts my face towards him with his finger tip, peek at his eyes through mine, he's doing the same, so close, his lips are so soft and taste like honey she tastes like honey and sunshine so nice and safe so wonderful I could stay here forever, just kissing him like this he tastes like cinnamon and lake breeze and just the tip of my tongue she gave me hers back oh this is so nice and wonderful he's so…
We pull apart, startled at what we've just done. Completely befuddled, I have no idea what we've done. Oh my God, what did we just do? I am just such a walking disaster, scatter and run Sofia, scatter and run and he felt so wonderful, those lips of his…
"That was for staying with me that week." Smiles at me, eyes so bright and happy, mirrors mine.
I loved that. I would love to kiss her again and again and again…
##
The whole dynamic between us changed after that kiss. Before I would refer to him as "Fuckward", even to his face, when his smugness and general "I-know-better-than-you" attitude grated at me. Like the world was his oyster, and I was the grain of sand irritating his perfect little pearl bed. Add the wife to the mix, and it was like shaking up a bottle of oil and vinegar, with the thick, gooey oil rising to the top, making our lives underneath it seem more bitter than they already were.
Now I knew that after that kiss, I'd never refer to him using that name again, especially to his face.
We moved apart, after that kiss, both startled by it, and thinking over what it meant, what it could mean. Settled back to our respective spots on the slab, listening to the river tumble and flow over the rocks, to the forest as it began to consider waking up. He concentrated on Nessie; her gentle breathing, her hushed sighs as she dreamt.
"Do you ever see them, your parents?" I whispered.
Paused, confused by my question. "What do you mean by that? That's an odd question."
"Do you ever see them, visit their graves? Do you ever go back to Chicago and do that?" I sure wish I could see mine.
"Yes, about every few years or so, I go back there. Not as much as in the beginning though. It's just easier to…easier to let it go, the past." Looks at me, I won't return his gaze, but I know where this is leading. "Live in the present more so than the past." I wish you would too; you have so much to offer Sofia. So much more than you think, and we all love you despite of your believing otherwise. "Do you? See your parent's graves?"
Lay my head on my arms, crossed over my knees. Close my eyes, try to remember their faces. "No. I have no idea where they were buried. Looked over the years, but there's no records left anymore. They were destroyed in a fire during the War."
"I'm sorry Fia. I really am. No wonder you hurt so much"
My head flies up. "What do you know about pain Edward? You had it so fucking easy, your whole life was a fucking cakewalk compared to mine. You wanted for nothing; got whatever you wanted. You were the Golden Boy your parents hung on your every word. The Prince of the Latin School! Even now, you get every fucking thing you want, without having to earn it! You're so immature and selfish." I wish I could cry I'd feel so much better.
"Pain? I know more about pain than you think Sofia. I remember watching my parents dying in front of my eyes in three days. I remember waking up and finding out that I wasn't what I thought I was, and that I was now a monster. That I was gone…vanished forever, and not by my choosing." His eyes are flaming at me, so much hurt and anger in them now.
"So is that why you can be such in insufferable prick Eddie? Is that why you treat me like you do? Because that's what I remind you of? That day? You know, most of my life wasn't my choice either, any of it, from when I turned fifteen up to when I was twenty-one!" Huff at him, lean in closer, my eyes match his in anger and hurt. "You didn't have some creep shove a rag in your face while two others held you down, then took turns raping you, so no good man would want you. Did you, huh?"
Stares at me, his anger growing. "No, I didn't. Yes, it was horrible, and yes it shouldn't have happened to you, but it did, and I'm proud of how you survived that. You're the strongest woman I know." Puts his hand on my arm, turns me around to look him straight in the eye. "Listen to me Fia; they're dead. Let. It. Go. It's not healthy, and it brings everyone around you down. And you want to know another reason I'm angry? Because I wonder why we both had to get dragged into this, this existence of ours. Neither of us wanted it, and yet we're stuck with it, and I fucking hate it. Being the monster. And because you can't let that part of your past go, and partly because I'm bitter about you having gotten involved with that idiot husband of yours."
"So you're pissed at my husband and that's another reason why you treat me like crap. I could say the same about your choice in spousal material Edward. She's no prize either."
"He doesn't deserve you Sofia. He doesn't respect you at all, treats you like shit he's a leech."
"Oh yeah? Well at least he didn't run around on me, abandon our kid, hurt you like she did."
Turned fully towards each other, daring the other to make the next move.
"And by killing her and Jacob that's going to take care of the problem, is that it Sofia? That's the way you see it? Just take them out, problem solved?"
"Yes, then there wouldn't be any BS alimony and custody issues to deal with, to say the least. Look how she acted in front of the baby Eddie, scared her and totally disrespected you. If they were out of the equation, then you wouldn't be pouting and acting like a wimp all the time, feeling all sorry for yourself, speaking of bringing others down. I would never have treated you like she did. I love you too much to ever do that!"
Sweet Jesus on the cross, did she say what I just think she said?
I turn away bury my head in my arms again. "I'm just so tired of it Eddie. I can't do it any more…any of it. I'm sick of this game; I want it to end. My marriage is a disaster, and I'm tired of being the bad guy." Lift my head up squinting my eyes, rolling the choices I've made around in my head. "You're right; he does treat me like crap. Not like you. Plus I think he's cheating on me too. He's always running down to LA for some reason, won't tell me why. We have nothing to talk about anymore. He used to be so much fun and I loved being with him, talking with him, traveling with him. But it's like he's changed entirely, he's not the man I fell in love with, he's not the man I know he could be." Gaze up at him, watch as he gauges where I'm going with this. "And I'm tired of being the killing machine. That boy in Seattle pretty much took care of that. But at the same time, I just crave that, you know? That bittersweet taste of human blood; nothing else compares. I love it and I hate it." Shake my head; he stares at me.
"I know Fia, I know, it sings to us, so hard to resist, so sweet…"
"He was an ass, but he didn't deserve what I did to him." But Bella does. Put my head down again. "I'm such a mess. I wish I could die…" I whisper.
Feel his hand on my head, stroking my hair. Shrug my shoulder, try to get him to stop, but he persists. Moves closer to me, still stroking, stroking…
Sighs."I suppose you're right Fia. We got this thrust on all of us, and we're trying to muddle our way through it. Like in Peter Pan…"
Lift up my head, he's looking at me, all concerned, the anger and hurt are gone; he keeps up that stroking, so soothing, so damn nice, I love that feeling. "Peter Pan? How so?"
"You said it once; we're like the Lost Boys. We're stuck at whatever age we were when we became…what we are. Never grew up. Never got the chance to…" his voice drifts off.
We sit there awhile, not speaking, him stroking my hair, me leaning against his shoulder; imagining the 'what ifs'…
I sniff. "What are you going to do about Bella Edward?"
Stops stroking my hair for a moment then continues. "Well Sofia, I know that Nessie and I can't keep living like this. It's not right, especially for her. I have enough on Isabella to divorce her; I've already spoken with a lawyer about it. Got that in the works." I look up at him, sad little smile on his lips. "I won't let her get a penny from us Eddie. Not one cent."
"I know you won't, and I appreciate that. " "You know Eddie, I already have papers drawn up, just in case she shows up tomorrow. What her options are, as far as the family is concerned." No response. Just sits there, mulling over this mess we're in.
Straightens up, stretches his back. Turns to me again, curious look on his face.
"What about you and Mr. Wonderful? Please say you'll leave him. "He's so destructive, let him go…"
Go back to leaning against his shoulder; he stops stroking my hair; I nudge him to start again.
"I dunno. I have to think about it. There's a lot of money at stake, and he's not going to want to leave without some of it. But I won't let him, not after the way he's treated me. I imagine I'll divorce him too, unless he does me a favor and vaporizes somehow." Snort. "I bet if I asked Emmett, he'd take care of him for me." He looks down at me in alarm. "Oh stop it, I wouldn't do that. Besides, he'd run away from Emmett, he's such a scaredy cat."
We both laugh. He looks up at the sky; the stars are fading, the sunlight trying to push them out of its way.
Tilt my head. He's not looking at me. Still looking upward. Thinking.
He stands up, holds out his hand to help me up. "Come on, early bird, you don't want to keep Charlie waiting. I know how much he loves to fish." Smiles at me again, full of promise and… hope?
I stand on my toes and give him a quick peck on the lips. Looks at me, confused. "What was that for?"
"Because that, Edward Anthony, is what you are going to owe me when I race you to Forks and back and beat your sorry city boy ass." She can be so surprising and fun… I love it...
Still grinning at each other, we take five steps back, run, leap together from the slab over the river and hit the ground running to Forks, still holding hands.
##
A/N: Next week, Charlie and Sofia go fishing. And not just for Biue Gills.
Post next week on Thursday again. Thanks for the reviews!
The Spanish Influenza Pandemic took 21 million lives worldwide in little over one year. More people died during the pandemic than WWI/WWI/Viet Nam/Korea/American Civil wars combined.
Sofia's symptoms were from the first wave that struck in the spring of 1918. The second wave arrived in the fall of 1918 through the port of Boston; that strain killed Edward's parents.
More US soldiers in WWI died of the pandemic than did those of their wounds. Victims of the virus literally drowned from rapid fluid buildup in their lungs.
And yet today? Not one peep about it.
Have a great week.