Heeyy!

Soo I realised I had another chapter ready but haven't posted it yet... Oopsss well I hope you all have a great day! Let me know what ya think!

I sadly do not own Vampire Academy

Chap 10

RPOV

The last week has been plain awful... First off, classes started back again then my ex-boyfriend comes back after walking out of my life with my best friend and begs me to forgive him.
When I tell him no, he pays me a visit at school which ended with me in the hospital. My brother goes missing but in the end it appears that he simply passed out at his new girlfriend Mia, I feel myself vomit slightly in my mouth when I think of her.

Of course as if that wasnt enough, I am having endless fights with my mom... This was all getting too much.
All I wanted was to cry the pain away but I have done that so much lately that I don't have any tears left.
Someone was bound to here me crying myself to sleep right? I don't know how, but no one has ever heard me make even a whimper.
I don't know how they haven't noticed, since its the same every single night. It's the only thing that wears me out.
I ate very little these day, I just didn't feel like eating at all. I know my family havent noticed it. I mean who was I in their eyes? Yea nobody, thats who!

If they did see or hear anything they have never mentioned anything. Nobody has offered me a hand, a shoulder, any sort of strength to replaced the endless weakness that I feel. I just don't know anymore, it's all too much.
I just want it to go away, to be bathed in the bright light of day without this worry.

Before I go to sleep I always wish for the same thing, that when I wake up, all my problems were gone, that I had friends andfamily who loved me and I them.
I know it isn't going to be okay when I wake up but I would like to keep on the hope that it will be better tomorrow.
Its the only thing that prevents me from going insane...

I woke up to the alarm of my phone. I changed the song to "Cheerleader" by Omi. I totally love that song!
It cheers me up a little when I feel down, so I thought maybe it will help me start the day a little happier.
It doesn't; but I still like the song so I kept it as my alarm clock.

It's 8.30 am...way too damn early if you ask me. Who on earth makes an appointment on 10 am on a Saturday?!
I groaned as I stretched, trying to find some courage to get out of bed and get my feet on the floor.
I finally resigned to moving after a few minutes of stretching and walked to the bathroom ready to take a shower. When I got out of my 30 minutes long hot shower, what?! It was cold outside my blankets.. I dried my hair with the towel just letting it dry without heat.
I pulled on some underwear, walked to my closet and deciding on casual but comfort look, I grabbed some dark jeans and a white shirt which had the text "don't hesitate" on it in black letters. I loved this shirt it gave me some courage to just do it and not think about what will happen or could happen today.
I combed my hair and braided it in a fishtail braid. It always take me a lot of time since my hair reached my waistline but I loved my long hair, it had to be the best part of me. I had very long dark brown hair, sometimes, depending on the light, it even looked black.

I put on some mascara and walked back into my room, making a note in my head to clean my room later on. I dont want to have to deal with my mom ranting about housework and how hard she works to keep a roof over our heads, so its the least I could do for both our peice of mind.

I go down stairs and grab an apple to eat while I walk over to the clinic. It was a 20 minute walk if I took a steady pace but because of the warm weather it would take me a bit longer. I grabbed my purse and coat, threw my phone, keys and some of the other necessary things a girl needs in life, in my bag and walked out of the door. I took great care to closing it softly behind me so I wouldn't wake up Adrian.

Without even paying attention, I had come to a stop in front of the clinic. Forcing a deep breath and silent prayer to anyone who would listen, I opened the door and stepped inside. I was so scared as to what would happen here.

What would they make me do, would they yell at me till I talked? Would the person I'm seeing even want to bother wasting their time on me? Would everyone laugh at me and tell me my problems are insignificant to most.

I walked up to a little desk that stood at the end of the hall. I was pretty sure that this is the reception.
I looked up to the desk and saw a young girl sitting back, reading a book. She was around my age, maybe a year or so older. The girl could have been really pretty if she would style her hair differently and put in some contacts instead of her glasses. The large frames, too big for her face, made her look kind of nerdy.
She had curly brown hair, slightly tanned skin and big emerald green eyes hidden behind the thick glasses.
She looked up and was surprised to see me standing by the desk. She closed her book and spoke
"Oh Im sorry, I didnt see you there. Can I help you?" Suddenly feeling nerves creep up I answered

"Uhm yes, I have an appointment with Dr. Belikov." I whispered. I couldnt bring the level of my voice up any higher as my nerves were dancing around my head.

"Ahh okay, what's your name?" She smiled sweetly at me and waited paciently for me to reply.

"Rose Hathaway." I breathed out. I thought I saw her eyes widen but before I could ask if something was wrong she stated clearly, finding my appointment.

"Yep, here it is! Rose Hathaway. Follow me please."

She stood up straightening her black pencil skirt and flower patterned blouse. We walked through a door which led down a huge hallway.
It was painted in natural colors and had something very calm vibe around it. When we reached the end of the hallway, the young girl Natalie, I had read on her name tag, knocked on the door.

"Come in" Called a deep male voice. I suddenly felt the nerves spiking up again. Natalie opened the door and spoken to the man seated at his desk.

"Dr. Belikov your new patient Rose Hathaway is here." Natalie moved aside the doorway so she could let me in, I took a single step to meet her by her side.

"Okay, thankyou Natalie let her in." The deep voice replied. Natalie gave me a little push and closed the door behind me. I couldn't manage to look up at the man who approached me, offering me his hand.

"Hello Rose, I am Doctor Belikov." I shook his large hand, making mine feel as small as a puppies paw. I managed a strangled "Hi" but the moment our hands touched an electric shock raced through my body, making me look up and meet his eyes.

What I noticed next was breath taking. I looked in the most beautiful eyes of the world, they are chocolate brown looking like pools you want to dive into and drown in. He had shoulder length brown hair which was tied back at the nape of his neck. And that jawline... Just amazing...so manly and strong with a slight 5 o'clock shadow. I wonder what he would look like with a beard?

We both let our hands drop at the same moment. A very awkward silence fell around us but was finally broken when he motioned for me to sit down on the big beige chair in front of his desk. He sat down on the opposite side of the desk. I felt embarrassed and avoided eye contact with him as he cleared his throat.

"So Rose lets start." I could feel his eyes concentrating on me already, not even 5 minutes and he's trying to read me. I wont make it that easy, I cant. Im used to be invisible.
"Okay" I agreed, still avoiding eye contact.

"Okay, can you tell me a bit about yourself? Like your age and hobbies?"

I took a deep breath and started with the most basic information that even my class mates knew.
"My full name is Rosemarie Hathaway but I prefer Rose. I'm 17 years old almost 18 and I love to draw"
I looked all around the room for somewhere to focus, for something to reach out and hide me with but I still avoided his gaze afraid what would happen if I looked in those eyes again.

"Okay, let's start on some simple questions. What about your family, with who do you live and how do you get along with them?" I sighed still avoiding his gaze how basic are these questions? Doesnt he want to help me, is he wasting time until I have to leave?

"I live with my parents, Abe Mazur and Janine Hathaway, and with my twin brother Adrian. Only my dad and I are on good terms at the moment but he isn't here this week so it makes my week even worse."

"Abe Mazur? Why is your last name Hathaway?" Doctor Belicov questioned, drawing my eyes to his face.

"Because he said it was dangerous or something to have his last name." I didnt miss his face showing a moment of shock and surprise but then returned to a straight, relaxed composure. He simply nodded and continued.

"How are you doing at school?" He asked writing on his notepad. Is that a bad thing already?

"Bad" responding a little too quickly.

"Why?" I swallowed the big lump in my throat fighting back the tears that blurred my vision as I whispered

"Because I am the school freak..." I looked down at my fingers, holding back the dam that threatened to break behind my eyes.

"Rose, you know that's not true.. Rose look at me." His soft voice was mesmerising, like a song. I couldnt help but look up and meet his dark orbs of chocolate brown eyes. They still amazed me.

I took in his other features again when something in my head clicked. Like the last puzzle piece of a big puzzle. Russian accent, tall man, handsome... Could he be my hero from last summer?! He sure looked a hell lot like it.
My eyes widened in shock and he seemed to notice something in me had changed.

"Rose are you okay?" That's when I saw him, Jessie, taking me to the party. Yelling at me, dragging me to the alley, trying to kiss me, ripping my dress apart. I felt his hands all over my body again. I heard Dr. Belikov stand up grabbing my shoulders, holding me up but trying to bring me back to the present.

"ROSE!" I heard a voice shout, but I was too far gone.. All the memories came back in my mind like a silent picture show. The room seemed to get smaller and smaller. I felt the walls coming closer?!
I started to panic as dark spots took over my vision. I let them take me, taking me away from all the problems.

I gasped as I sat up trying to get some air. I grabbed my head, damn shouldn't have sat up that fast...
"Finally you're awake." A voice spoke out loud, making me jump ten feet in the air which caused me to fall off the couch. Wait couch? I looked around and and took in the appearence of the room, realizing I was still in Dr. Belikovs office which was looking at me from behind his desk.

"Come over here Rose." He said motioning that I had to sit in front of him. I sat down and waited for him to start asking thehard questions.
"Rose, what happened one minute you were fine a few seconds later you are having a panic attack!"
"I don't know.." I said with a small voice while biting my lip.
"We both know that you do know that you do know why it happened. Please Rose let me in! I only want to help!"
He said getting frustrated. Could I really tell him what happened? Would he believe me? Because my mom clearly didn't. He is my therapist so I should tell him... But do I trust him? When I looked up to meet his gaze I knew the answer...