Chapter 10– Annie

The light of dawn crept through the blinds of my room, shedding unwanted light over my closed lids. My head was on a pillow, although I remembered that it was on something else when I had fallen asleep. My cheeks burned like fire. Finnick.

I lay in bed for another minute, recalling last nights events and wondering how we would act around each other today. What had gotten into me? I barely knew him, and here I was allowing him to snuggle up to me in my bed! I blamed it on the instability of my state. Not once had I forgotten my impending death, and so I was probably doing things I normally would never have allowed before. He was just so stable and real. Having him near was like allowing myself to push those thoughts aside for just a little, and when he left, it was like they came back into focus. I wanted to push them aside, I wanted them out of my mind. Two days, I reminded myself. Just two more days until we're all thrown into the arena to kill each other. The games were beyond my abilities, I knew that, but I would do what I can for as long as I could. In stark contrast to yesterday, I was eager to get back into the gymnasium today. I wanted to hone my skills with the sword, and more interestingly, learn how to properly use a spear. Not that I hadn't used one before, but it was always for fishing purposes. I needed to learn how to hurl one into a human being.

Finnick sat beside me at breakfast, but we didn't talk, unless it was being addressed to the group. Today I ate a little more, filling my stomach and feeling my strength rejuvenate. I needed it for today. I would train until my body gave out. I was full before the others, and leaned back in my seat to study my team. Costas was animatedly talking to Mags, commenting on how savory the sausage links were today and Lucas was talking about his ability to throw a spear from yards away. Mags congratulated him, and so did Finnick, but I could tell he didn't mean it, and once more, the guilt in his face for not meaning it. Lucas looked at me this time, asking me what I thought about the others.

"The pair from District one are, rather, large." I said, my voice sounding more condemning than scared.

Lucas snorted, "She's a beast. But don't worry – they don't seem very smart at all." He took a gulp of orange juice, "Now, Alec and Isabelle, those two we better watch out for."

It was strange the way he use the word 'we' when we both knew that the day after tomorrow, the only thing we'll be considered with would be our very own safety. He continued to speak, "I think Alec was trying to warm up to you. Maybe form an alliance."

My shoulders tensed as I suddenly remembered the chill of hearing his voice in my ear. You're pretty. He had told me. I hoped that my face hadn't given anything away.

"I think so too. I don't know if we can trust him though." I said, using the word 'we' again. Just to ensure the possibility that me and him would at least team up in the beginning.

"He looks smart enough. We'll try to gauge him further today." Said Lucas with a smirk. "Now about Isabelle." He began to say, the smirk widening into a grin.

"I knew you liked her." I said, a smile on my face too. Joking with Lucas this way, it made it almost seem as if we were hurtling the games out the window for just a little while. Mags raised an eyebrow. "Are those the siblings form seven?"

I nodded. "We spoke to them, and then the careers from district three."

"Good." Finnick answered attentively, "The Careers are strong; they'll be good allies."I recalled him telling him that they hadn't liked me much last night; so I knew he was putting forth his best efforts at acting normally.

Mags nodded in ascension. "You can at least use their supplies at first. They'll surely get plenty of sponsors – not that you two wont." She corrected, then glanced at Finnick. "Finnick has a way with sponsors. You two won't have any shortage there."

My eyes drifted up to him, and he was smiling at Mags, but his eyes were dark, troubled. We spoke for a few more minutes after that. Lucas finished up his third helping of food and somewhere in between, I felt Finnick's hand reach out to me underneath the table. My hand found his and our fingers, like magnets, intertwined. I didn't think I could ever get used to the sparks that travelled up and down my arm at the slightest feeling of his touch.

At the gymnasium, we were greeted by Alec and Isabelle. I noticed that they trained separately, rarely ever crossing paths until lunch, where they sat together. I went back to the spear-throwing station and allowed the instructor to teach me more. My first attempt at hitting the target was way off, but at the second, my aim had greatly improved and I made it hit the lower half. It wasn't as different from a fish as I had thought. Then I heard someone come up behind me. The instructor fumbled for words and he stuttered nervously. I turned around wondering what caused such a reaction and saw the girl from District twelve feeling around the area for something. I would've ignored her. I should've ignored her. But I couldn't.

I approached her, the wooden rod still gripped in my palms. "Do you want a spear?"

Her eyes darted around, searching for the source, but her ears were aimed at me. I could tell she knew I was coming before I was too close. She might not be able to see but her other senses were more skillfully trained than the rest of ours.

She reached her hand out and grabbed the front end. "It's a good one." She said, feeling it with both hands. Her fingers slid up towards the razor-blade edge. "Big."

I nodded, forgetting she couldn't see me, and then added, "Yeah. I'd say it's a decent size." I looked over at the instructor for approval. He gave me a thumbs up.

"Would you like me to teach you how to use it, twelve?" he asked.

Her face tilted at his direction. "I know how to use it." She said sharply. "Where's the target."

"About 100 yards to your right." I said.

She positioned her body, her fingers still sliding up and down the wooden rod before hoisting it up to shoulder-height and hurling it forward. She hit the head of the dummy. I was astonished.

"Where'd it hit?" she asked.

"On the forehead." The instructor told her, handing her another one. "Want to see if you can get closer to the heart?"

I still couldn't get used to how lightly the instructors talked about killing, as if they found nothing at all wrong with it. The girl from twelve nodded, remembering her prior position, and hurled it forward again. This time, so strongly, I could feel the wind from the blow.

"Now?"

"Collar bone."

She shrugged, "Close enough." And then added, "What district are you?"

"Four. I'm Annie. Annie Cresta."

"Paisley Gray from district twelve."

Annie didn't say anything. Instead she grabbed a spear and pulled it shoulder-height, just like Paisley had done, and leaned back a little, right foot in front of the left, and threw it. The heart. She had hurled it straight into the dummy's heart.

"Nice job." The instructor congratulated her, then busied himself with Birch, from District three, who had just walked in. Paisley gave me another glance, her hazy eyes perched in my direction but not directly at me, and left. Birch was next to me. With his body towering mind and the weapon expertly held in his hand, I almost had to fight the urge to run, but he ignored me and began to toss spears.

I reunited with Lucas at the archery section. He had been travelling with Isabelle, and they were looking oddly comfortable around each other. I wondered if Lucas had any idea what he was getting himself into. But then he shot me an excited smile and called me over. "What have you been up to?" he asked when I was in front of him.

"Oh you know, vandalizing things. How about you?"

He laughed. "I think I've finally got the edible plants section down."

I was about to say something when Alec blocked the space between us. "Hello there."

I stared at him, wondering if he really was as insane as he appeared. "I was in the middle of a conversation."

He glanced back at Lucas, who was already commenting on the other tributes with Isabelle, and then back at me. "And I interrupted it."

"You're a quick one aren't you?"

He smirked, putting his arm around my shoulders and leading me further into the space. "What are you doing later?"

I couldn't help the look of incredulity that flooded into my face. "Are you serious?"

He shrugged, haphazardly lifting an arrow from the ground and examining it. "Very much so."

"You know," I began, pointing a finger at him in disbelief, "I thought maybe, just maybe, you weren't really as crazy as you looked. But you are, you really are."

He laughed, but it was the saddest laugh I had ever heard, before gripping my wrist when I began to walk off. "It's the wrong circumstances, I know. But I can't help it." He was serious now."There's no turning back and we're all going to be sent off into the arena the day after tomorrow. Is it so bad that I don't want to be thrown in there without giving this a go?"

"A go? You want to give it a go?" I nearly laughed, "Look, Alec, I think it'd be the best thing if we just avoided each other until then." I pulled my hand away from him. "Actually, it might be better if we just avoided each other until one of us...dies." And then my voice died down to a whisper. "Because I don't think I'll be able to kill you."

And then I stalked off. Wanting to punch myself in the face for telling him that. I'm stupid. Of course he's going to come after me now. I'm an easy target! So much for pretending to be a closeted killer. It wasn't because I had feelings for him. In brutal honestly, I did think he was a bit mad but there was something we had in common: we were both clinging on to normalcy. He was doing with me what I was doing with Finnick: trying to forget the inevitable. I could feel the tears stinging at my eyes as I walked into the cafeteria, picking up a tray of food and setting it down on the table furthest from view. Why was this so hard?

The day went by faster than expected, and I was soon back on the fourth floor of the tower, with dinner being served in front of me.

"So what was Alec talking to you about earlier?" asked Lucas curiously, ignoring his food for a moment.

I hesitated. "Er…when?"

Finnick was across from me, attentively staring.

"Right after I called you over in the archery section, when he pulled you aside?"

"Oh!" I exclaimed, hoping my voice didn't sound as pitchy to them as it did to me. "He…was just asking me if I was any good with a bow."

"Why? Does he want to figure out your strategy? Your weaknesses?" asked Finnick with urgency.

I looked down at the chicken on my plate, "Maybe. I guess so." Lying came easier than I thought.

"Annie." His green eyes were intent on mines, "Don't tell him anything."

"Of course not!" I retorted.

Costas looked at him with eager eyes, "Finnick, you've been very uptight lately."

Finnick didn't bother looking at him. "Well, there hasn't been much to joke about lately has there? Unless you want me to comment on how your hair looks like –"

"Nevermind." Interrupted Coastas with the slightest wave of his hand, "And it's the latest trend. You look positively dull in comparison."

To that, Finnick allowed himself a small smirk that within seconds dwindled into seriousness. And then I feel a dull throbbing at the pit of my stomach and wonder if its because of me. Of course it is, it has to. The piercing blue eyes that belong to Alec flash across my mind and I wonder if I had hurt him. If his last day before the torment had been slightly ruined because of me. But then I wondered if Finnick had caught on to something, although there wasn't anything going on, not really. Not on my end.

I tried to catch his eyes but he was busy playing with the vegetables on his plate. What was I doing? I was going to die and allowing myself the privileges that belonged to those who had the opportunity of a longer life. If Finnick felt anything like I did, I was going to make my televised death much harder for him than it should be. I set my fork down, deciding that the revulsion would only be worsened with food. I was in no mood to do anything. I wanted to cry. I wanted to the world to stop spinning. I wanted to be back home. My fingers closed over the fabric of my trousers, clutching on to something – trying to get through the painful throbbing in my body. I started seeing things, memories. I could see Avan's face through my half-closed lids. I would probably never see him again. I would never see my parents again, or my friends. Every bit of pain and longing and heart-wrenching sadness I hadn't felt since the reaping came rushing at me, coursing through my veins, unstoppable. My vision blurred for a moment and I held on to the fabric tighter, my nails digging into my skin underneath. I had to leave, go to my room, anywhere but here. When I tried to stand, I was plagued with dizziness, losing balance before I felt hands grab onto my elbows. Strong, capable hands; hands that would surely hold it's own amidst the brutality of the arena.

"Are you okay?" Lucas asked urgently, propping me up. I could see now. Mags in front of me, her eyes wide and in alarm. Lucas beside me, clutching at my arm. Costas at the head of the table, standing wearing an expression similar to the one Mags sported. Finnick was…gone.

I pulled my hand away from him, "Thanks Lucas, I'm fine. Just tired." I tried to not sound battered and invalid, but my body wasn't agreeing with reason.

And then I felt someone take hold of my other arm. Finnick.

"C'mon, let's get you to your room." He said softly, yet loud enough for everyone to hear.

All I could see was the depths of shining green oceans in his eyes. The way the beach by my house would look when the water was transparent enough to see the sandy bottom and the sun was high in the sky. Not a single cloud fighting for a spot in the sky. It belonged solely to the sun on those days. My feet began walking as I let Finnick lead me away, but my thoughts had drifted. Fillippa and I would go out and swim around for shells on those days. Mother would worry because I had the tendency to go off into the deep, but it seemed so harmless. After all, as long as the bottom was visible enough, there wasn't anything to worry about. We would bring our collection of shells to my mother, showing her our treasured finds with delightful pride. Showmanship, she had always told me I had great showmanship.

I felt the warm softness of plush blankets and sheets, and then my head gently fell against a pillow. Finnick was looking down at me with a troubled expression. His eyes darkened and I wished that he would stop looking at me that way. I wanted to see the green transparency of the oceans, not the evergreen of an oak.

"Annie." His voice was so soft, so gentle, I could barely stand it. I wanted to reach up and touch the side of his face, feel the pale stubble on his chin and jaw. That is until his hand reached for me first and lay flat against my cheek. A blush crawled up my neck and into my cheeks, warm and obvious. The tips of his fingers brushed over my ear and I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest from how viciously it was beating. It was a good kind of pain, I decided, and the words masochist bounced around in my head. I had never had a boy touch me like this, or maybe I had, but it never felt quite like this did.

"You should sleep." He said, the worry never leaving his eyes. His thumb rubbed circles on the apple of my cheeks, carefully and softly, and I felt the hairs rise up in the back of my neck. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I wanted to tell him it was okay, that I was just being stupid and that I really should bolster my courage because I desperately needed it back. I reached up for him, my heart racing faster than ever, and pushed a strand of golden hair off his forehead. He never broke my gaze, but I noticed the present tension in his shoulders. A little voice in the back of my head kept telling me to lose my inhibitions, forget pretenses. I had to live because there wasn't much of it left anymore. I propped myself up on one elbow, inches away from his face. Through hitched breathing, he came closer, so close that I was just about ready to turn away. I had never kissed anyone before. My stomach was twisting and it almost felt as if there was butterfly wings rapping against my insides before the space between our waiting lips closed and his mouth came down on mine.

I had always wondered what my first kiss would be like. I imagined something soft and sweet, perhaps short and inexperienced. I never thought it would be filled with passion and lust and an undercurrent of alarming urgency. My hands were around his neck, forming knots in his hair and I could feel his strong hands on my waist. He pulled me closer against him, goosebumps forming all along my skin from his nearness. And then we broke away, gasping for air. His eyes opened. The small space between our faces impermeable. He was too surprised to do anything at first, but after deliberation his lips grazed over mine once more before he began to speak.

"We probably shouldn't have done that." He said, smiling into my lips.

The warmth of his breath on my face chilled me to the bone. "I'm sorry I –"

He kissed me again, this time it was soft and almost too gentle in comparison to the intensity we had just shared. "I've wanted to do that since I first saw you."

My breath caught. There was something so pleasantly euphoric about knowing that I wasn't making this up in my head. He had felt something too. It was unexplainable, I couldn't quite describe the feeling, but it was like a connection, inevitably drawing us to this very moment in time. Something so insignificant in comparison to the universe, but paradoxically seeming like it could swallow it whole.

I smiled and he fell into the bed beside me, one hand propping himself up and the other still playing with my hair. And then he seemed to be thinking exactly what I was thinking. What was going to happen when tomorrow reared its ugly head? We would have to face reality. Face the Hunger Games. I took his hand into mine and held it tight.

"Let's not think about it, any of it. Can't we pretend like there's nothing more than just right now?" I asked him in a small voice, the desperation seeping through in high pitches.

Immeasurable pain flashed across his face and I felt his hands squeeze mine even tighter. He pulled me into him and I let my head rest under his chin. His arms came around me, soothingly rubbing my back while mines were on his chest, strong and hard and so safe. No more words were exchanged, instead we basked in the silence of being alone, just the two of us and he kissed me again, just before my body surrendered to a weighty drowsiness and I fell asleep with the consistent rise and fall of his chest.

A/N: Don't mean to toot my own horn, but...toot toot! I think this has to be my favorite chapter, by far (of course, I've only written a chapter ahead of this one so it's probably too early to be saying that). But I digress, I hope you guys enjoyed it! Please review (: