Mito finished up the final touches to her letter and gently set the clipboard down after cleanly ripping the paper out of it. She daintily folded the paper into a perfect square and handed it to Natsumi.

"Thank you for your time, Mito-san, you are free to go." Natsumi said.

Mito nodded. "No, thank you," And she followed Kushina out the building.

"Alright next is Aburame—"

"Actually," Natsumi's orange-haired assistant, Hisa, interrupted. "There as been a slight change…."

"Again?! Why does everyone keep messing with my schedule?" Natsumi grumbled.

Hisa shrugged. "Some are more requested than others, and clearly, people want an Akatsuki appearance."

Natsumi sniffed. "I really don't get why the fandom finds a bunch of homicidal men so hot."

Hisa raised an eyebrow. "Weren't you the one who liked Sasori?"

Natsumi turned a light shade of pink. "Liked as a CHARACTER, not as in wanting to marry him."

"Sure, sure, sure…." Hisa smirked.

"Ahem," Natsumi cleared her throat, hoping to change topics. "Who is next, in Akatsuki terms?"

"Well, I decided that it would make sense for Pein, aka. Nagato to go first, since he kind of is the leader sans Tobi/Madara," Hisa replied.

"Well bring him in."

A tall, orange haired man with multiple piercings and rods embedded within his skin walked in. His light purple rippled-rinnigan eyes gazed impassively around the room. This was the deva path, Pein, one of Nagato's substitute bodies.

"Erm—"

Before Hisa could finish her sentence, Pein placed a letter in her hands.

"What is this?" Hisa asked.

"I have already written my letter," Nagato explained.

"Already?"

Nagato nodded. "Yes, I wrote it in Amegakure a few days after I got your invitation to this 'meeting'. Upon this invitation, I decided to look more into this fanfiction and long story short, I regretted it whole heartedly."

Natsumi and Hisa nodded sympathetically.

"Well thank you for your time Nag—Pein," Natsumi said.

"It had to be done." And with that, the deva path walked out the building.

"I am curious as to what he wrote…." Natsumi murmured, opening the letter.

She and Hisa began to read.

Dear Fanfiction Authors,

These frivolous and poorly written stories need to stop at this very instant, more specifically, the ones about the Akatsuki. I will not stand for the organization—that Yahiko, Konan, and I formed—be reduced something so lowly/by product of dull, teenage brains. This organization was formed for the sole purpose of obtaining world peace, not for your hormonal fantasies. This is a disgrace to Yahiko and all of the previous members' memory! The members that I have recruited are all ruthless and efficient, s-rank missing ninja, not love struck idiots. Furthermore, I do not recall recruiting or allowing any pathetic rainbow haired kuinochi into our organization. For such characters, its impossible that they could be jinchuurki because there is only nine bijuu and they have all been sealed away, sans Kyuubi and Haachibi. Even if this supposed jinchuurki was to encounter us, we would extract the tailed beast right away and therefore killing her. On a side note, I would never waste extra resources to house some whiny maid. Why would the Akatsuki need servants or maids? We are travelling all the time, therefore we would have no use for extra baggage, and often these maids are very troublesome.

I will also have you know that none of the Akatsuki members have any bastard children. Sex is extremely prohibited among the members and its dangerous to have family within a missing-nin organization. Therefore, I highly doubt that your poorly devised characters are my daughter or any of the members' daughter/sibling. Furthermore, I have never killed anyone without a reason nor would I sexually assault some random girl, such behaviour is repulsive.

Lastly, these disturbing stories known as "Akatsuki-cat" fanfictions need to stop. Being transformed into feline creatures is not 'cute', its humiliating and disturbing. I am tired of reading stories where we become cats and are thrown into some annoying girl's house and forced to comply with the smutty fantasies of the author. There is so much wrong with those stories, I can't even write them all out. Please learn how to write a decent and ACCURATE Akatsuki fanfiction or a decent fanfiction about Yahiko, Konan, and I.

Sincerely,

Uzumaki Nagato aka. Pein