(Author's note: I've never been to Comic-Con, so I may have gotten some things wrong. Hope you enjoy it anyway! The regular July update will be up sometime next week.)

Sunday afternoon

"Wow, you guys are back early," Natasha said, as Tony, Bruce, and Loki stepped off the elevator. "What, did you get kicked out?"

Loki gave her a look that would have melted stone. "I do not want to talk about it!" he spat.

"Where's your helmet?"

"I lost it! I will be in my room. Do not disturb me." He stomped off, not even bothering to collect his luggage first, and slammed a door in the distance.

"What happened?" She stared after him, then at the other two, waiting for an explanation.

"I'll tell you later," said Tony. "It . . . didn't go well."

"And by 'didn't go well,' you mean . . ."

"You really don't want to know," said Bruce. He was holding a plastic Darth Vader helmet in his hands, almost absently, as if he had forgotten it was there. His suitcase sat at his feet, held together with two pieces of twine tied around it.

"Were you attacked? Why didn't I hear about this?"

"No—well, yes, but . . ." For once, Tony seemed to be at a loss for words. "Not like you think. We'll talk about it in a bit. Come on, Darth."

Natasha watched them wander off in the direction of their respective rooms and wondered just what the hell had happened.

There was something on the floor, that must have fallen out of the suitcase. She picked it up. "These boys and their toys," she said, and tossed the thing in the trash.

Sunday morning

The plane ride home was about as tense as a Saudi at a bar mitzvah. No one was speaking to anyone else. It was not exactly the aftermath of Comic-Con that Tony had pictured, but then, things had gone so wrong that it was a miracle that they had come out of it in one piece.

"Look, I'm sorry about the-" he began, but Loki turned on him with a look of pure anger.

"Do not speak to me. This is all your fault!"

"My fault? How is it my fault?"

"You are the one who brought me here in the first place! I could have been on a beach, soaking up solar radiation, but instead, I let you drag me to this . . . this place of insanity!"

"You begged me to bring you!"

Bruce turned up the volume on his headphones, vowing to stay out of it.

"Why did I want to come with you in the first place?"

"Because you wanted to be with the smart people."

"I expected intellectuals who engaged in high-level philosophical discussions, not . . . what happened! That was the worst experience of my life!"

"Come on. Worse than giving birth to a horse?"

"I told you, that never happened!"

It had all gone so well-until the second day of the Con. When they had found him. It had unquestionably been the worst experience of Loki's long life. Worse than being exiled. Worse than being magically controlled by an alien race. Even worse than having everyone think that he gave birth to a horse.

"I am never," he pronounced darkly, "going back there again."

Saturday night

"Did we lose them yet?" Loki took off his helmet and peered around the corner.

"Not yet." Tony had shed his Iron Man suit, and then, realizing that he would be just as recognizable as himself, had jammed a Darth Vader helmet on his head. Bruce, who did not have such identity problems, was trailing along behind them in a Doctor Who shirt and sweatpants with the Buffy logo on them.

There was a sudden blur of motion as someone ran up and snatched Loki's helmet off the floor.

"Hey!" he shouted, but didn't dare go after the thief for fear of exposing himself and bringing them down on him again.

"How do we get out of here?" Bruce asked.

Tony looked over his shoulder. "There's no cover between here and the door. We'll need a distraction."

Bruce sighed. "What do you want me to do?"

"Just lead them away from us so that we can get outside and wait for you at the hotel."

"Yes, but how?"

Tony removed the Darth Vader helmet and stuck it on Bruce's head. "Go, go, go!"

The minute he started running, the other two were up and moving in the other direction, running for their lives. If these fearsome creatures caught them . . . it would be the end of life as they knew it.

They didn't stop running till they reached the hotel, and even then, they stayed just long enough to pack and wait for the shuttle to the airport. They were in such a hurry to leave that they almost forgot Bruce, who caught up with them just as the shuttle arrived.

"We're leaving now?" he asked. "But what about meeting Barnicle Boy?"

Loki just gave him a look. "I will never forgive you—either of you—for subjecting me to this—this torment! I never want an experience like this again in my life!"

"Oh, come on!" said Tony. "You were having fun until . . . they showed up."

"Where is that damn shuttle bus? They might catch up to us!"

"They're miles away! They'll never find us!"

No sooner were the words out of his mouth than Loki looked over his shoulder and saw a pack of the horrid creatures in pursuit. Luckily, the shuttle was also on its way, and reached them first. They hastily climbed aboard the bus and ordered the driver, "Go! Hurry!"

"Sure," the man said. "What's after you? Zombies? Gang members?"

"Worse," said Loki. "Fangirls."

One of the faster ones had already reached the bus and climbed aboard just as the doors were closing. "Lokiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" she squealed, trying to get closer to him. The god retreated to the very back corner of the bus.

"Back, foul beast!" Tony picked up the closest heavy-looking object, which happened to be Bruce's suitcase, and waved it between them in an attempt to ward her off. The suitcase flew open, scattering dirty clothes and souvenirs everywhere. "Whoops! Sorry about that, Beebs." He tried to pick all the stuff up while simultaneously holding off the raging fangirl, who was now emitting squeals so high that even dolphins would have had trouble hearing them.

"If I give you my shirt," Loki said suddenly, "will you go away?"

That got her attention. "The one you're wearing? The one that has touched your lovely pale skin?"

"Um, okay." He lifted it over his head, trying to keep it right-side-out, and tossed it to her.

"Oh em gee! Can I have a picture?"

"Of what?"

"Of you! Just like that—hold it!" She whipped out her cell phone and took five pictures in rapid succession before clutching the shirt to her chest and departing the bus via an open window.

"What just happened?" Bruce asked.

"I'm not sure." Tony was bent over, picking up all the stuff that had fallen out of Bruce's suitcase. "Why him? Why is he the one who gets all the attention?"

"Are you telling me that you're jealous because you don't have a legion of rabid fangirls chasing you around?" Bruce gave his best friend a dubious look. "You really want that?"

"Well, no, but . . . I'm just curious. What is it about him that has them all going gaga over him?"

"I have no idea. Who knows the mind of a crazed fangirl?"

Loki just sat in the back of the bus, shirtless, hating them both.

Saturday afternoon

"I thought that went rather well," Tony said. "In spite of the fact that I didn't find out what I would be talking about until five minutes before being seated on the panel."

"You were very good," said Bruce.

"Why aren't you wearing your costume?"

"Because it's heavy, and it's hot, and I don't need it. It was cool to make an entrance in, but right now, I'm better off without it. No offense."

Tony just shrugged. "Eh, it didn't look right on you anyway. So where should we go next?"

Bruce looked around. "Where's Loki?"

"Probably at the Marvel booths again. You know they're doing a comic book based on us? The team, I mean."

"Really?"

"He doesn't like the way they're portraying him. Says they make him look fat. Or something."

"You think they'll listen to him?"

"Who knows? They probably think he's just another fanboy playing dress-up. They'll probably humor him for a while, and then get rid of him. And then he's our problem again."

"Guess who I just met over by the DVD vendors?" Loki had found them, already.

"We give up," said Tony. "Who?"

"Nathan Fillion! He signed my copy of Serenity for me! I was telling him all about how they should bring Firefly back in some form, even if it's a comic book, and he said that Joss had some ideas about that, but he couldn't talk about it. I wonder what he meant?"

"That's good news," said Bruce. "I subscribe to his Twitter feed; I'll keep an eye on it for you."

A girl in cat ears and a Logan's Run T-shirt approached them. "Oh my God," she said. "I love your helmet! It looks so real!"

"It is real. It was hand-made by the finest goldsmiths in Asgard."

She tittered. "Oh, right. Can't break character. Is the cape real too?"

"Want to touch it?"

"Don't encourage them!" Tony hissed into his ear. "You'll be hip-deep in fangirls before we make it to the end of the hall!"

"Don't I have a responsibility to my public?" the god whispered back. "Go on," he said to the girl. "You can if you want to."

She reached out a hand and ran it along the edge of his cape, making little oohing and aahing noises. "It's so silky! I could wrap myself up in this, and nothing else."

"There's an interesting mental picture," Tony murmured to Bruce.

"You're just jealous that you don't have any fangirls."

"I have lots of fans! I just like to keep them at arm's length. Is she—is she running her fingers through his hair now?"

"Looks like it."

Indeed, Loki was bending down slightly so that the girl could reach up and touch his hair. "I like it long, like this," she was saying. "It just . . . flows."

"Yes, well, thank you so much, but we have places to go. I believe the actor who does the voice of Barnicle Boy is in the next room." Tony put an arm around Loki's shoulders and started to lead him away.

"Wait! Where are you going?" The girl started to run after them.

Loki started to look over his shoulder, but Tony said, "Just keep walking. Don't look back at them. Let's just get out of here nice and—"

"LOKI!" The cry went up like a banshee howl as literally dozens of fangirls appeared out of nowhere and converged on the trio.

"Let's get out of here!"

They ran like the wind.

Saturday, nine-thirty a.m.

"How do you move in this thing?" Bruce was having a hard time just walking in the War Machine suit, non-functional or not. "It weighs a ton!"

"You should have seen the first one. Heavy, clunky, made out of spare parts . . . the one I'm working on now is streamlined and made from a light alloy."

"Not the one you're wearing?"

"No, but this one's close to it."

Bruce shrugged—or tried to; it was hard to lift his arms in the bulky suit. "Whatever. Which way to the panel room?"

"Down here. There's a paid photo op before—ten bucks for an autograph, twenty-five for a pose next to me, that kind of thing. Not my idea. They've got to make their money somehow. You just stand there and look menacing."

"Got it." For a moment, Bruce wished he had fans willing to pay money just to stand next to him for a moment. Most people didn't know who he was. Others were okay until they found out he was the Hulk, and then they treated him like a time bomb about to go off. He didn't know which was worse, really.

"Where do you think Loki's got to?" he asked, just before they reached the room where the photos would be taken.

"Don't know, don't care. As long as he doesn't cause trouble." Tony opened the door, and the fans in the room went wild.

Loki, meanwhile, was having the time of his life. He had engaged in a discussion about Firefly with a man selling television memorabilia, who had several hard-to-find items from the show's brief run. At a price, of course.

"You should have him sign these," he said.

"Have who sign them?"

"Captain Reynolds, of course! He's around here somewhere. He stopped by here yesterday and signed a few things, but they sold right away. If you happen to run into him, ask him to sign the book, at least."

"I would not wish to impose on him—"

"Oh, don't worry about that! He's always willing to greet his fans. If you do see him, tell him Graff says hi."

Loki nodded. "Thank you for the information."

"Love the helmet! Is that heavy?"

"No, not at all."

"Can I try it?"

Loki was unsure of how to answer this request. He hesitated so long that Graff said, "Hey, it's okay, man. Don't worry about it. Have a great day, now!"

"I am, thank you." As he walked away, Loki was glad he came to this place. How nice to meet people who shared his interests.

Saturday, opening

VIP tickets meant they were first in line in the morning. Tony smiled and waved at his adoring fans. Bruce sipped his complimentary cup of coffee and wished it wasn't quite so hot out. Loki, on the other hand, seemed quite interested in the people in line and all their colorful costumes.

One group who were dressed as the Avengers came over to him. "That looks so real," the girl dressed as Black Widow said.

"I made it myself," he admitted.

"Wow," said the ersatz Captain America. "How long'd it take you?"

"Months!" It was not exactly a lie. Though sewing was considered a "womanly" art on Asgard, Loki had learned to make his own clothes, and most of what he wore at home were his own creations.

"Awesome!" said the young man in the Iron Man suit, which looked astonishingly real. "Mine took a whole year to put together."

"Does it have working repulsors?"

The boy laughed. "I wish! I heard of a guy who did that, though. I think there's a how-to video on YouTube."

Loki nodded. "I shall check it out."

The doors opened, and they made their way inside the hall full of bright and colorful wonders.

"My panel is at ten," said Tony, "so we have a little time to look around if you want."

"I wonder if Nathan Fillion is here?" Loki mused. "I've heard he comes to Comic-Con every year."

"Well, we'll keep an eye out."

"Stan Lee is supposed to be here, too," said Bruce.

They passed vendor's booths with exclusive memorabilia for sale. At one, Loki spotted something interesting.

"Is that a Mermaid Man figure?" he asked, leaning closer but not daring to touch it.

"Yep," said the dealer. "It's a Limited Edition. Fifty bucks."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious?"

"They only made a thousand of them. Once they're gone here, they'll probably pop up on eBay for five times the price. I'd get it now, before the crowds come."

"It seems a lot of money for a piece of plastic."

"Forty-five. Take it or leave it."

"Take it," Bruce suggested. "A lot of people come here just for the exclusives. Most of them sold out the first day."

"Very well." He handed over a small stack of bills, and the vendor put the toy into a small plastic bag for him.

A little boy was staring up at Tony intently. "Are you the real Iron Man?"

"Why, yes. Yes, I am."

"Where's your suit?"

"I sent it out to be cleaned. It should be waiting for us back at the hotel. In fact, guys, why don't we head back there and see if it's ready?"

Now the boy was staring at Loki. "You're not the real Loki, are you?"

"Um, no," he said. "I'm not."

"Good." And with that, he turned away, cape flapping in the breeze.

"That was weird," said Tony. "C'mon, Beebs, you and I will go put our suits on."

"You're sure Colonel Rhodes doesn't mind me borrowing his suit?" Bruce asked.

"He said just don't get it damaged, or sell it to the highest bidder. Anyway, it's a non-functional replica, just for show. You don't need to do anything but walk around in it. Be my bodyguard when I show up for the panel."

"Could I stay here and look around some more?" Loki asked. "Maybe I'll meet someone famous."

"If you do, get pictures." Tony gave him a wink and a smile, and then he and Bruce headed for the main entrance, waving their badges at the security people.

"You think it's okay to leave him on his own?" Bruce asked.

Tony shrugged. "He'll be fine. What could go wrong?"

Friday night

The plane ride had been fun, but they were glad to finally be on the ground. The pilot helped them load their luggage into the waiting limo. As he was transferring it, he accidentally dropped Bruce's. There was a click as the lock disengaged, but he caught it before it opened all the way.

"Sorry about that," the man said.

Bruce waved him off. "Don't worry about it. That bag's been around the world five times already. I think after this trip, it's time for a new one."

"We could stop on our way to the hotel," Tony offered.

"No, it's okay. It'll hold together for one more weekend. I'll replace it when we get home."

Loki had never been to California before. It was much warmer than New York, but he thought he could handle it for short periods.

"You okay, Frosty?" Tony asked him. "Yeah, it's hot out here. But everything's air-conditioned, so you should be okay."

"I think I am building up a tolerance to this weather, actually."

"Well, good. Let's go get settled in at the hotel, and then we'll go have a look at the convention center. I bet there are lines outside already."

"I want to wear my armor tomorrow. Make a grand entrance."

"I don't know, buddy. Armor in this weather?" Bruce wasn't sure the Frost Giant could handle heavy clothing in this heat.

"Actually," said Tony, "that sounds like fun. I'll wear my suit, too. And I have one for you, Beebs!"

"I hadn't actually planned on dressing up—"

"Oh, you'll love it! Get into the Comic-Con spirit!"

On their way to the hotel, they drove by the convention center, where there were indeed lines of people camped out on the sidewalk.

"This is gonna be the best weekend of our lives, guys." Tony raised his fist in salute. "Long live Comic-Con!"