Chapter 10 – Damon's P.O.V.

Slowly, but surely, we were making progress. A few weeks passed by peacefully as Elena recovered and became more comfortable in the household. She was still scared of me, I knew that much, because she showed it in the way she flinched when I was close and the way her heart rammed against her ribcage. I couldn't blame her, it was my fault. I had scared her way too much, and to make matters worse I had also physically hurt her. The thought made me sick. How could I be so cruel? She was just a girl, an innocent girl. I couldn't blame her for flinching whenever I was near.

These facts were making me restless; because I knew that a lot of time was going to have to pass to win Elena. I tried to be as careful as I could, trying to assure her that I would never hurt her again and that she was safe with me. Even though Elena was appreciating my efforts, I wasn't pleased with the progress, I wanted her to stop being afraid of me, period.

Gaining Elena's trust and respect were difficult. I was visibly working to restrain myself daily, trying to bring a smile to her face and contain the darkness within me. It was difficult, trying to break a cycle of how I used to live, but I would do anything for her. Rediscovering the library was probably one of the best things I had ever done. It had taken me the best part of a whole night to clean the place up, but the results proved that to was all worth it.

Watching the smile and the way Elena's cheeks lit up made me feel something I hadn't felt it quite a long time, almost a hundred years. I smiled, remembering the way she put her head on my shoulder, and how it felt like my world had stopped spinning. To have her so close to me on her own terms filled me with true happiness; happiness that I feared I would never be able to feel again.

I looked at the brunette beauty who was now talking to Rose, helping her cook. She was so young at heart, so kind. She smiled at me when she noticed that I was looking at her, and right at that very moment all I wanted to do was wrap her up in my arms and kiss her, while I provide her with the safety she deserved.

I took a few steps towards her and locked my eyes with hers, smiling at her as I played with a curly piece of her hair. Rose had just gone to the garden to pick up some fruits, and I was left alone with the brunette.

"What are you cooking?"

"I'm showing Rose how to cook curried rice," She said excitedly. "I thought that I should be the one to cook today. In fact, I sent Rose to pick up some apples, as they make a great difference."

I raised my eyebrows. "Apples?"

She laughed. "Don't mock it until you try it. Apples taste great with curry. They sweeten the taste…" And she continued to explain the importance of sweetening the dish.

I looked at her affectionately as she continued to explain, obviously talking about a subject she was passionate about. Seeing her smile was already more than enough.

Days passed and Elena had already gotten through a great number of books, spending a lot of her time in with her nose in a book, and I occasionally joined her. Not much has changed, really. The only real conversations that we had were at dinner before she retired for the evening. I didn't want to admit it, but I was lonely without her company. I had no real friends in my household having spent years by myself.

I watched her from the crack behind the door of the library, the room she spent most of her time in now. There was a large pile of books stacked up in one corner of the room while Elena occupied her own little, cosy spot on the floor by the fireplace. She was stretch out and indulge as opposed to sitting upright. She was supporting herself on her elbows, her hair falling around her like a curtain as she set the book down in front of her, gazing at it tenderly.

How could she be so beautiful, even when wearing nothing except her shapeless and most comfortable dress?

It was slightly weird that I spent a lot of my time now watching her in secret, but I was too…shy to go speak to her myself. I found myself struggling to make conversation or whether she wanted to be around me at all. Sometimes, I wanted to tell her what I felt about her and show her how much I cared. At other times, I was too disgusted with myself, knowing that I had done way too much to deserve her attention; her…love.

It was even more painful with the cravings. After tasting her blood, I found that no other substance could quench the desire that I had. I promised never to feed from her again, but it was hard, especially when there were moments like this.

Right at that very moment, her neck was bare and waiting to be sucked dry, it was a most enticing thought. I swallowed back the desire because I could not let the demon part of me take over, again. Things had changed, of course. Elena seemed less afraid of me and she didn't seem to tremble in fear anymore when I was around.

All I wanted to do was simply touch her, to feel her warmth against my cool body. To hold her close to me and feel what it was like to feel accepted. To stroke her hair and wrap her in my arms as I cradled her to sleep. But I couldn't have those things, especially when it came down to Elena.

Because even though I was trying, I didn't deserve her.

Finally, I took a deep breath, knowing that I had to make my move now. I had to have hope, hope that someday she'll want me. Slowly, but surely, I shuffled into the room as to not scare her.

"E-Elena?" I stuttered, feeling slightly embarrassed.

She glanced up from her book, her breathing hitching a little at my presence but it soon turned into a small smile. She closed her book, setting it to one side before sitting up on the rug.

"Good afternoon, Damon." She spoke softly, her voice sounding like music to my ears. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh, no, not at all…" I shuffled into the room a little more, my hands clasped behind my back. "I was just curious to see what you were doing. Have you read all of these?" I asked, nodding towards the large pile.

"Yes," Elena admitted, blushing a little. "I just love to read."

I inched closer, sitting down so I was next to her and behind her all at once. I peered over her shoulder, checking the book that she was reading before I cautiously placed my hand round her stomach, shifting a little closer to her. With care, I pulled her closer to me so that her back was against my chest.

I heard her sharp intake of breath, and for a moment, I felt bad, rejected, even. But then, she quickly relaxed in my grip, leaning against my chest. I smiled and relaxed. She was fine. She was letting me hold her. There was no fear in her eyes. She was fine.

"What are you reading?" I asked, resting my hands on her shoulders gently, rubbing them slowly.

"Gone with the Wind…it's one of my favourites." She whispered, pausing before turning a little to look at me. "Would you like me to read to you?"

I was slightly taken back by her little request. She really wanted me to stay here with her? My heart started to beat a little bit faster, and it was right at that moment that I realised what this girl was doing to me. Not only she was making me feel, but she was changing me, she was making me shy and nervous sometimes; which was a very rare thing. I was also becoming sappy, and before, I would've hated that…but now, everything was fine as long as I held her.

I put my arms around her, pulling her towards me as I placed one hand on her back, stroking her sides gently. Unlike other times, there was no stiffness from Elena, there was no fear. She wanted me to hold her, and that's what I did.

Elena started to read. "'If you think I'll marry you just to pay for the bonnet, I won't.' 'Don't flatter yourself. I'm not a marrying man.' He replied, just as frustrated."

I was mesmerized by her, watching her as she relaxed, finding a pace as her eyes flickered from the page to me. I sighed, warm, content.

"'Well, I won't kiss you for it either.' Scarlett snapped. 'Open your eyes and-.."

I interrupted Elena, already knowing what the line would be. "'Open your eyes and look at me. No, I don't think I will kiss you - although you need kissing badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how.'"

Elena froze, her eyes wide. "How did you know that?" She gasped, turning around in my hold so that she was facing me.

"I'm familiar with this story," I smirked.

She looked at me in shock.

"Don't look so surprised," I said, taking the risk and running my fingers through her hair. "There was a time where reading was also a hobby of mine."

"What happened then?" Elena asked, her beautiful eyes boring into mine.

"I changed, I guess," I sighed, running my hands down her arm as she leant against my neck while she listened. "I soon started to realise that these…these love stories are just that…stories. I ceased to believe that love existed, especially love that is supposedly to last forever."

I swallowed thickly. "The truth is, Elena, I know what forever's like. And forever is a very long time. I don't think that there could be anyone in this world who could love a person and stay loyal for that long."

Elena sighed, turning to look at me. "It can happen," She said.

"Maybe," I sighed again, "But it's not simple, Elena."

She nodded her head, agreeing with me.

"Carry on, sweetheart," I said when the silence stretched out for far too long, and she continued to read with her beautiful voice.

After we spent several hours together, I decided to take her outside again. Her face lit up when she heard me say that, and she quickly went to change. I smiled happily seeing her so happy, but I also felt guilt settling in my heart. She wasn't supposed to wait for 'permission'. She was supposed to go out whenever she liked. Yet I was keeping that from her, reminding her that she was, in the end, still a prisoner.

But when I saw her dressed in a knee length purple dress and a jacket to warm herself up, I couldn't help but believe that she looked happy. Despite everything, she was smiling. I took her outside, keeping a gentle grip on her arm, and showed her around the garden, letting her enjoy the fresh air.

The snow had stopped falling and started to disappear from the ground as winter rolled by. I led Elena around the back of the gardens, keeping a firm grip on her waist so she wouldn't fall over, until we arrived at my green house. Again, this was a place I had not visited in many years, but with Elena's presence in the household everything seemed to change.

She raised her eyebrows at me as I reached for the lock, pushing open the French doors. I stepped back, letting her peak inside.

"Oh!" She gasped in delight. "It's beautiful! May I go in?"

"Of course!" I was already behind her, turning a few cogs until the main light came to life, brightening the room. "Please, go have a look around. I've never had a visitor before, never shared my…secret garden with anyone else."

Elena smiled at me, taking a small step inside and out among the flowers. She giggled, almost in disbelief as she reached out to touch the petals on a rose brush at the centre.

"It's glorious! The colours and the smells…it's incredible." She knelt down to one of the smaller pots which held a single rose bud. "It's so perfect and delicate."

Elena reached for the rose at the same time I did and her hand knocked against mine, sending a jolt of electricity through my body. I stayed for a moment and just waited, feeling her eyes on me as I watched her hand.

"But strong, as well," I whispered, pulling my hand away before it got awkward.

"I love it here," I heard her say as she sat down on the bench. "It's amazing."

"I'm glad," I said. "What's mine is yours now, Elena. You can come here whenever you like."

Her eyes widened. "You're letting me come here?"

"Yes," I said, stroking her cheek. "You can come here whenever you want."

She looked at me, her smile reaching her eyes. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome," I told her, picking up her hand. "Are you hungry?"

"A little," She admitted. "But I'm enjoying this."

I chewed my bottom lip watching her shiver a little. "If you want, there are some unexplored rooms upstairs, if you want to look around?"

Elena gazed up at me, nodding her head with excitement before clutching my hand in her own.

There were many rooms upstairs on the top floor that I never used, mainly because the contained boxes upon boxes of old clothing and relics. Some of it had been passed down in the family and I had simply forgotten about them. In all honestly, I found it boring to go through everything by myself, seeing no fun in the matter at all.

However, with Elena there, it was something I was more than happy to be a part of. And she seemed to love it, already going through multiply box as I watched her eyes light up in wonder at the treasure she had discovered.

She took out a box at the back of an old cupboard and opened it, removing the wads of tissue paper that seemed to go on forever. Finally, she removed a full length, blue satin dress. It was a little old now, nearly as old as me, but it still held together as strong as the day it was made. I watched Elena's eyes as she ran her hand over the material, bouncing up and holding the dress to her body.

It looked like it wound be just her size. "You should really try that on."

"Oh, I don't know…" She wondered out loud, fingering the lace on the bodice. "It's must be old and I don't want to risk ruining such a beautiful creation."

"Try it." I insisted, getting up from the seat. "I'll be waiting in the parlour." I smiled, before leaving the room.

I made my way down the stairs to the parlour to give the girl her privacy whilst I made a well needed drink. I lit the fire and stretched out in my favourite armchair, waiting for her arrival. I felt stupid in one way, like a teenage boy waiting for his date. It was a nice feeling, however, to feel that I had something amazing and beautiful in front of me.

I smiled to myself and went to top up my glass when the door finally opened and she came into the room.

I'd been right about the dress in that it was a perfect fit, almost as if it had been sewn to her body, exaggerating all her curves. And I couldn't stop looking. She seemed slightly embarrassed, maybe at the way I was staring at her, but I couldn't help it. She was completely stunning.

"Take your braid out." I murmured, looking up to her and reaching for a stray hair that hung on her shoulder.

She made a face, but obeyed, reaching for the clip at the back of her head, letting her waves flow down her back like a waterfall. Unable to help myself, I reached out and gathered a small amount of her locks, brushing it over her shoulder and fanning it out.

"You're beautiful." I whispered, looking everywhere other than her eyes.

I let myself imagine what it might be like to touch her, to run my hands over the silky smooth satin and feel her warmth beneath it. But I had to stop thinking like that, thinking about her like that. I had to control myself. If she really knew how much I wanted her, I feared she would freak out or become upset that I thought of her in such a way.

I swallowed thickly, pushing the thoughts to one side.

I was silent for a moment. "Dance with me."

Elena's breathing hitched as his bit her bottom lip. "I don't know how to dance."

"I'll teach you. It's easy."

"But there's no music." She argued in a small voice and a smile.

I didn't want to force her in to something that she didn't want to do, but she hadn't out right told me she didn't want to. I gazed into her eyes and settled my tumbler down on a nearby table. I extended my hand, in a true southern gentlemanly manor and she looked at my outstretched hand and then back into my eyes as I smiled reassuringly. She let out a small sigh and placed her delicate hand in mine. The way her hand fitted perfectly into mine is made me smile as I lead her in front of the fire place.

I stood there, dumbly, for a few seconds. "What about my other hand?" Elena prompted softly.

"On my shoulder…" I hesitated for a moment as I brought my hand up to rest on her waist. "Now, just mirror what I do, okay?"

She nodded as I showed her the basic steps of a waltz, holding her gently as if she were made of glass as we went. Forward…side…close…forward…side…close…

She tried, but still didn't get it, her movements jumpy and uncoordinated like the thumping of her heart beat.

"Here." I whispered, pulling her closer than needed so her leg was pressed against my own. In that moment I felt every single nerve and muscle in my body freeze and go numb. The feeling of her was like having shocks of electric shot through my body. Still, I remained composed as I started to move, guiding her along with each step.

I started to hum lightly, a sift lullaby that my mother used to sing to me. We got tangled in each other as Elena's footing stumble slightly, forcing me to move closer still to keep her up right. Not that I minded though. Just being able to hold like this liked I had dreamed of was enough to send me overbroad. That and the fact that I kept getting a strong smell of her perfume mixed with her distinctive Elena scent.

We started to move in small circles to small movements, the only sounds noticeable were the crackles from the fire and our heavy breathing as my humming came to a standstill.

I thought back to how we had first met all those weeks ago when I first saw her and the way she had come to be in this place. I took a shaky breath as I thought; the memories still too raw. Yet, as time went on, that pain had become something more positive. We'd grown to know it other, trust each other and help each other.

"You are a fine dancer, Elena." I spoke softly as I ran my hand up her back.

She let out a giggle a pulled back slightly. "Well, I have an excellent teacher." Her smile faded a little, taking on a more seriously look but still calm and happy. "I've never had a friend quite like you, Damon."

Friend…I was her friend?

In one way I was relieved at knowing this. She didn't see me as a monster or her kidnapper anymore. By some miracle, she had started to see the good in me and changed her perception of me utterly. But, still, it won't be good enough. I wanted more and not just because it could break my curse. I wanted everything about her and though I would never admit it out loud…I was falling in love with her.

"At first I hated you for imprisoning me here." She continued quietly. "You took everything away from me and hurt me, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally as well."

I cringed, trying to step away from her. "I know. I know I'm a monster and I should never be forgiven for the things I have done. I just…I just…" I swallowed harshly, letting go of her body and moving to stand by the window.

I felt tears in the corners of my eyes and closed them, wishing that this could all be over.

"What?" Elena whispered, placing her hand on my shoulder and gently turning me to face her. I let her. "Tell me."

"I just couldn't be alone anymore." I admitted, looking down at the floor.

"I understand." She sighed. "I know what it's like to feel different. To feel like an outcast. You must have been incredibly lonely."

I made s face, trying to decided what this beautiful young woman had just said. She was an outcast? How? Everything she was…it was what I wished I could be. Kind, caring, compassionate, loyal…loving. I could be those things, if I tried, but that meant letting her go and giving her freedom back. As much as I wanted that for her, I couldn't. I almost wanted to tell her, wishing she'd say that she didn't want to leave, that she wanted to stay with me because she was happy here. But I knew she wouldn't.

It also left me wondering why she hadn't asked her leave. Could it be that she didn't want to anymore? I didn't dare to hope of such a thing. But, still, the smell of her perfume lingered in the air around me, one that I hadn't smelt before. Maybe…possibly…

"Damon, can I ask you something?" Elena whispered, almost having to force the words out of her mouth.

"Of course." I breathed.

"P-please don't take this the wrong way, but why are you like this?" Elena uttered.

I took a sharp breath, knowing that this question was going to come up sooner or later. "Like what?"

Elena turned away, almost in fear like she expected me to get angry and hurt her. My hope that I had built up smashed in to a million pieces, now knowing that she still was truly afraid of me deep down.

She licked her dry lips and cleared her throat. "I mean…how did you become a vampire?"

Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay in an update! I was lacking inspiration to write, but with the help of Amy (LiveBreatheVampires), she really helped make this chapter amazing! Thank you! :D

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It was meant to show the struggles Damon is going through in the way that he feels about the situation. I hope that the relationship is going at a steady pace and that you are enjoying it :)

Thank you all so much for the reviews and support guys! You are all amazing! Expect an update soon and let me know what you all think :)

Next chapter: Elena learns about Damon and his curse, but will she be able to handle it? Stay tuned ;)