Curveball

by Mooncat99

Yeah, yeah, those curveballs life can throw at you… makes life so very interesting. Rogan

10. Arranging

Chapter 10: Arranging

Putting the picture of her Mom with her on the night table, Rory stepped back to look around and slowly nodded. That will do.

Most of her things had been unpacked already and stashed away. No wonder, it was almost eleven thirty in the evening. Her clothes hung in the walk-in closet, her underwear, safely kept away from Finn and Colin's prying eyes, were neatly folded in one of the three drawers Logan had emptied for her. Her bathroom supplies were also neatly put away in the right-side cupboard Logan had left empty for her and even all of her books and music discs and DVDs had found a place and were lined up in alphabetical order in the bookcase Logan had bought, specifically for her things, along with others of her personal items that meant a lot to her. Needless to say that Logan had put them up while she had taken care of her clothes and toiletries.

A bookcase.

It was ridiculous, really, to go buy a bookcase that looked mighty expensive just for four months of use. Rory could have left her stuff in boxes or brought them home. But he had bought a bookcase for her. This morning even. She had no idea how he had managed to get the store to deliver it the same day, on a Saturday even, and have the men put it together as well. Then again, this was Logan Huntzberger. He probably had turned on the charm and had flashed his black Amex card. That would make most people bend to his every wish. Her mother would give a litany of the liberties and entitlements rich people allowed themselves, thinking that the whole world was just there to serve them and fulfill their every wish.

Sometimes, Rory agreed. But she had been on enough shopping trips with her grandparents and Logan and his friends to know that they couldn't really be blamed for their arrogance. Fact was, if you had the money, especially the kind of money Logan had, you were treated like a king with everyone tripping over their own shoes in order to please the golden cow. Logan had grown up like that, had never known anything else but getting the best treatment and she also knew that while he had no qualms exploiting that privilege, he also was always nice to the personnel – the lowly clerks and help – and generous with his tips and that was not the usual norm for persons from his circle.

And Rory couldn't help but be incredibly touched by his thoughtfulness. That he had remembered how much she liked to have her things and especially her books around her and had gone out of his way to provide her the luxury of that in his apartment as well. And not only that, he had also gotten another desk with drawers just for her so they each had their work space. Not to mention all the space he had made for her other things. Nor had she missed the newly stocked refrigerator and cupboards, filled with all the necessities she loved and thought should always be at hand at home. And coffee. He had stocked up on the good blend, the one that was even better than Luke's coffee, though she would never admit that out loud.

It was big things like the bookcase and her own desk and little things like buying her Oreos, the black and white ones so she could mix them like the way she loved them; and these gestures all told her of the care he had taken in making his apartment comfortable for her. So she would feel at home.

Here. In their apartment.

With a sigh she sat down onto the bed. And it was their apartment, she knew that without doubt ever since she had put up the last of her belongings. Somehow, Logan had achieved making her feel truly at home in the apartment, despite the fact that she has just moved in.

And she couldn't help but wonder if this was because he had made it possible to have all her things surround her or rather because he was to live with her.

She caught a movement out of the corner of her eyes and looked to see Logan going into the kitchen and taking out a tea bag, reminding her of his habit of drinking tea late in the evening if he didn't want to drink alcohol. Even during summer when it was so hot that the thought of anything hot to drink would make you sweat even more.

"Coffee?" he asked, not even glancing her way as he quickly filled the tea maker with water.

"Sure," she replied and got up to go join him as he started the coffee machine. A new one as she had noticed. Part of her wondered what had happened to Stanley. After all, Stanley had been only a few months old before. The better part of her knew instinctively not to ask.

It all felt so natural. And at the same time it was all so awkward also. They knew each other on such an intimate level that it was easy to remember all the details they knew about each other . But then they remembered that things weren't the same anymore and it all got awkward.

The machine beeped to let them know that her coffee was ready and Logan handed her the cup that she took gratefully.

Their fingers touched and Rory felt the familiar bolt of electricity run through her body, the very same she had always felt in the beginning of their acquaintance, long into the time they had hooked up. It had only been after they had gotten together for good that the bolt had simmered down to a low burning constant fire that spread a deep and satisfying warmth through her body to her innermost core. Even now some of that warmth was still there, slowly spreading out now after the initial jolt. She heard him gasp and her eyes locked with him and she knew that their touch had the same effect on him as it had on her.

Good to know. And bad to know.

Slowly, she drew her hand away to raise the cup to her lips and take a good deep gulp of the coffee, her eyes lowering. Her heart was beating fast and she found her throat suddenly dry. "Thanks," she still managed to say softly.

Logan shrugged and turned to pour himself his tea. "No problem, Ace," he answered as softly but the huskiness in his voice spoke volumes to Rory.

God.

If this was a preview of the next four months, then this would definitely be torture. A slow, sensual and emotional torture. And to think that this had just been a single, accidental touch. Her body was on fire and she had a definite urge to go around the counter and plaster herself against Logan, losing herself in their kiss. What was going to happen when the touch was more than that? Or worse, initiated by one of them.

To be fair, Logan had been a perfect gentleman. In fact, ever since Finn and Colin had left two hours ago he had drawn back to the far end of their apartment, barely glancing her way. Avoiding her.

Rory tried hard to not be offended by that. It was what she had wanted after all, wasn't it? She had told him she needed space, for him not to pressure her. And he had promised he wouldn't. Looked like he had every intention of going through with that promise.

Which was good of course.

At least she thought so.

Ugh.

She was pathetic. Simply pathetic!

It was high time for a change of subject -- even if the 'conversation' was going on solely in her head. Staring at the coffee that he had stocked up extra for her, she luckily remembered one thing she wanted to discuss with him anyway. Thank God! "Thanks for the bookcase and the desk. And for getting my favorite coffee blend."

"No problem," Logan said, shrugging.

"I appreciate your thoughtfulness, really… but from now on, I'd like to pay for my share of everything. So, if you give me your account number and tell me our living costs, I'll wire you my share. Or I'll write you a check. Once a month? Every week?" she wanted to know.

Putting his tea cup onto the counter behind him, Logan crossed his arms and looked at her. "No."

Rory frowned. "What do you mean… no?"

He shook his head. "I'm not taking any money from you."

Her frown deepening, annoyance started to take over her emotional confusion. "That wasn't a request, you know? I will pay for my half of the costs living here."

Again, Logan simply shook his head. "No, you're not."

Oh yeah, she was definitely annoyed by now. "Logan! I'm not going to live off on your generosity here!"

He sighed. "Technically, you're not. With us married and without a pre-nup, legally, all of mine is now yours as much as yours is mine. So there's no point in sharing the 'living costs' anyway."

"You know as well as I that neither of us wants the money of the other. Besides, this is only for four months. After that, we'll divorce and each of us will take what we own individually at the beginning, in which case, your part will be considerably less if you will be paying for everything!" she argued, throwing up her hands.

"It will be far from 'considerably less', Rory. Actually, it won't be much more than peanuts for me," Logan replied, eyeing her nonchalantly. "Not that it matters anyway. I don't want any money from you and as I'm more than able to provide substantially for the both of us, it's not needed either."

"You can't just refuse!"

He grinned. "Watch me."

She narrowed her eyes. "Fine. I'll find out anything I'll need on my own then. You'll get my money, if you want to or not."

Still smiling, he came over to stand directly in front of her. "In that case, you'll find out that I'll just return the money back. And doubled with interest… I'll double it each time I have to send it back." He smirked. "Just give it up, Ace. This isn't a battle you can win."

Seething, she glared at him. "Watch me," she threw back his own words at him.

Grinning even more widely, he shrugged. "Not worried here in the slightest, Ace." Before she could retort, he continued. "Besides, sorry, Babe, but the way I live will be too expensive for you anyway. I probably spend in a month more than you do in a quarter year."

Well, that was an argument. But then, she had already thought about this. "If necessary, I'll ask Dad to cover it. Besides, as you heard yesterday, money won't be a problem for me ever again anyway," she added with a bitter note in her voice. She still had trouble grasping this whole heritance shit her grandfather had dumped on her yesterday.

"Not before the trust funds come through. No, until then you'll just have the money you have saved so far and we have known each other long enough for me to know that that is not much," Logan contradicted her though. "And it's really not up to your father to pay for this when there's absolutely no need for it. So if you are not planning to wait for four years when you gain access to the fortune that awaits you, you'll just have to suck up and forget about this nonsense right now."

Distracted by his words, she studied him for a moment. "Did you know about this heritance thing and all this money?"

Turning serious, he just gave her a look.

Great. First her mother, now her boyfriend. "Why am I the only one who didn't know about this?"

It had been more a question for herself, but Logan answered her anyway. "Because you didn't want to see it, Rory. It won't take a genius to figure all this out. You are the only grandchild of Emily and Richard and the first born to another wealthy family. You're smart. Normally, no one would have needed to tell you something like that as you'd have connected the dots long ago. But instead, whenever someone tried to even hint such a possibility to you, you just laughed it away."

Her first instinct was to blow up at him – but instead, her shoulders just slumped. "You all must think I'm really stupid."

"Not stupid, Ace. Perhaps a little naïve."

"Great. That's not really much better," Rory sighed.

Logan was quiet for a moment before he spoke softly. "It's not a bad thing, Rory. Usually, in our world, everything is about how big and hefty your trust fund is, how much money you'll inherit, how much power you'll gain. Because for a lot of people nothing else matters in all this greediness… it's truly refreshing to meet someone who wouldn't want a trust fund or care about it at all."

She looked up at him, knowing that there was more he wanted to say, something she needed to hear. She didn't have to wait for long.

"But it's nothing compared to the absolute certainty, confidence that one attains when you date such a particular, special someone, when she's only with you for you. Not for the money, not for the name." His eyes bored into hers. "I never got around to tell you this, but thank you. Thank you for being you and for being the girl who ever wanted only me because of me, despite who I am."

She had no answer for him, her mind was completely blank. No, she didn't know how it was to be sought out only for your money or name – or even looks. Because she knew that many of those girls in the line had been after Logan for his looks as much as for anything else.

Logan smiled wistfully. "So, don't feel bad or ashamed for choosing to be oblivious of your actual very high social status in our world and the money that will come with that. Rather, be proud."

Their eyes were still locked and she could see the sincerity in his. He meant every word he had just said. Slowly, she nodded. "I think that I can manage."

"Good." Suddenly the smirk was back on his face and she knew his next words were going to aim to tease her. "And in the meantime, you can benefit from the next four months by getting used to the lifestyle that awaits you. After all, you married one of the most eligible and affluent bachelors of our generation."

"And there comes the ego," she sighed heavily, playing along.

"So, therefore, I have no choice but to live up to the expectations and spoil my little wifey rotten to keep her satisfied and happy," he continued, ignoring her remark.

Rolling her eyes, she scrunched up her nose in disgust. "Now you're just being cruel. But," she added, deciding to keep up with his jokes on a whim, "seeing as you married one of the most eligible and classiest bachelorettes of our generation, it's really the least you can do. After all, I come from two families whose ancestors came over on the Mayflower."

"Of course, how could have I forgotten that. I should be lucky you even looked my way," Logan laughed, his eyes sparkling.

It was good to see them sparkling again, she suddenly realized. The tiny butterflies it caused fluttering deep in her stomach weren't good, however. Time to end this before one thing would lead to another. And then they would both be so screwed. And not just in that way. Right.

"Exactly," she responded, emptying her cup and walked over to the sink to leave it there. "Well," she said as she turned back around. "It was a pretty long day. I think I'll turn in now."

Logan nodded, avoiding her eyes all of a sudden. "Sure. Goodnight, Ace."

"'Night, Logan," she too wished him good night and moved towards the bedroom. Of course, it wasn't really a room. Just a slightly raised platform that was a bit separated from the living room, but really not much. There wasn't one single enclosed room in the whole apartment, not counting the bathroom and the walk-in closet. Another reason why the concept of living with him in his apartment was so -- disturbing for her.

"And you're sure you don't want the bed?" she asked after a few steps though, turning back around. She really didn't feel comfortable sleeping in Logan's bed. Not especially because she felt like she was stealing it but because it smelled of Logan and then there were the memories. Though he had mostly come out to Hartford when she was staying with her grandparents, she had spent quite a few nights and weekends with him in here, and there were some damn good memories she had of them in that bed.

To be honest, she was terribly afraid of what was going to happen with her surrounded by his scent, with the memories of them here in the back of her subconsciousness. The least either one of them would need was her dreaming of making love to Logan. Especially as it wasn't impossible that she would make sounds accordingly in her sleep.

No, she would much more prefer to sleep on the couch. Not that there weren't memories involving the couch either but at least the couch wouldn't smell so much like Logan.

But Logan shot her a look. "Ace."

Still, she tried it again. "I really wouldn't mind, you know. I don't like the thought of throwing you out of your own bed."

His eyes met hers. "Rory," he just said, exasperated.

Not giving in. Not that she had expected otherwise.

He was old-fashioned that way, something almost no one ever expected from him when you knew his history with women. She too had been surprised to find out that her boyfriend was a true old-school gentleman in reality, at least with his girlfriend.

Or wife nowadays, she reminded herself with a sigh.

"All right, all right, I'm stopping already. Goodnight again," she gave in instead and continued her way to the bedroom. But when she had climbed the step up, she hesitated and turned around. "Logan?"

He raised his head. "Hmm?"

"Thank you," she said quietly but sincerely. "For today. For your support at the press conference. And for going to such efforts to make it comfortable for me here."

His eyes bored into hers, his love for her naked in them. "Anytime, Rory. It's the least I could do."

She shook her head, trying to shake the emotions his gaze evoked and provoked in her. "Still. Thank you."

This time he said nothing in return and relieved, she once and for all turned away, quickly vanishing in the closet to change into her most asexual and ugly flannel pajamas she had been able to find.

Not that they had talked about this. But in her eyes, it went without saying that they both tried to not dress in any way provokingly.

Of course it had never mattered to her what Logan wore. He was a handsome man, always had been, no matter what he wore. Besides, her attraction to him had always been on a much deeper level, so really, apart from him pouncing around naked there was nothing he could do to affect her reaction to him. If he ever did go naked...

No, she better not think about that.

Or she definitely would have dangerous, treacherous dirty dreams tonight.

---

It wasn't that the sofabed wasn't comfortable. It was. Nor was it the unusual sleeping place. Heaven knew he was accustomed to sleeping wherever fate landed him. And it had nothing to do with that damn faucet that was leaking. He'd have to call the building manager first thing on Monday but he never had been a light sleeper and the annoyingly slow dripping wasn't really bothering him, at least not enough to not be able to sleep.

No, it was nothing of those reasons that he couldn't sleep, not even for a second or two here or there ever since turning in, not much later than Rory.

The sole reason for his insomnia laid not fifty feet away from him, in his bed, sleeping peacefully, judging from the deep, even breathing coming from the bed. Occasionally, the sheets rustled. And sometimes Rory would make a low sound, a sigh or something like that.

It was driving him nuts.

Stir crazy.

Before, listening to her breathing and the small sounds of sleep escaping Rory had always calmed him, help him drift into a deep, content sleep. There had been a reason why he had rather chosen the inconvenience of driving to Hartford just to sleep with Rory at her grandparents' poolhouse rather than alone in his apartment in New Haven. Unconsciously, he had grown accustomed to her sleeping beside him to the point that he was restless when she wasn't with him. Of course, this was something he had only figured out after their break-up, when the painful absence of her had shown him just how much he had intertwined his life with hers, without him noticing. In the first couple of weeks he had only been able to sleep when exhaustion had overtaken him. It had grown better but, truth be told, he still wasn't the happy sleeper he used to be.

Part of him had hoped that with Rory moving in with him, it would get better again.

He should have known better.

Yeah, she was here. And there were all the reassuring and calming sounds she used to make.

But she was over there, fifty feet away from him. Not beside him, not in his arms.

And that was even worse than not having her with him at all.

Flipping over once more, Logan covered his eyes with his arm and sighed deeply. He didn't know how to survive this. Her being so close and yet not being able to act on his instincts. She was living here for what now? Some twelve hours? And already he felt like he was going out of his mind.

Their touch when he had handed her her coffee... The jolt it had given him shouldn't have surprised him. In the beginning, he never had been able to touch her and not feel a bolt of electricity surging through him. Only later the bolt had dissipated to be replaced by a slow, constant burning fire.

Now, the electricity seemed to be back. He just wasn't sure if this was good or bad. Probably, it wasn't that bad. It meant there still was the chemistry between them, didn't it? On the other hand, they had already progressed so much further before their break-up and he really didn't want to start from point zero with her again. A new beginning perhaps, but not the whole process of approaching each other all over again!

At least she had been as affected by their touch as he had been. That much had been obvious. And to be fair, Rory had done her best to act normal.

Just too bad that nothing about their situation was normal.

What were they supposed to talk about? And his thinking had to be controlled as well because if he let his mind free rein, he would never be able to give Rory the space she had asked for. Truth was he wanted her. Badly. And having her so close...

Ever since Finn and Colin had left he had had to muster up all his will power to not stroll over to her and simply take her, savage her like he had longed to ever since their last time together.

So he had avoided her, busying himself in the furthest corner away from her by arranging all her entertainment stuff into the shelves, going to the trouble of organizing everything into categories and then arranging them alphabetically. That had occupied him for a while. But he had been swift, too swift, with trying so hard to not think about Rory being so close to him and eventually, he had been finished with the task.

Leaving him with nothing to do but watch his Ace out of the corner of his eyes and listen to her settle herself in. Which of course helped nothing to tame the growing need he felt.

So he had decided to try it with tea. After all, tea was supposed to calm you down.

Big mistake. Of course he had to ask Rory if she wanted to have coffee as well, knowing the question was stupid. But it had opened them up to conversation, not that they had had much of that, it was just being too awkward for that, especially after their casual touch there.

And then she had announced her intention of turning in, once again fussing over the bed.

As if he was going to allow her sleeping anywhere else other than the bed. Besides, to be honest, he really didn't want the bed – not as long as they couldn't share it again like it was supposed to be. With the couch it was doable though – or at least that was what he had thought.

Now he wasn't so sure.

Changing his position once more, he stifled a groan.

Her actually being back in his bed wasn't much better. Perhaps it was even worse. And it didn't help that she had looked ready to be devoured when slipping back out of the closet to dive under the covers. He had seen enough to make him uncomfortably hard, forcing him to busy himself a while longer in the kitchen so she wouldn't be able to notice her effect on him, should she peek.

Oh, he had noticed that she had tried to be considerate of him by dressing into those truly ugly pajamas that nearly swallowed her up entirely. And he had appreciated the thought, really.

It just was to no use and Rory should know that.

She knew how attracted he was to her, always had been. How could he not? She was beautiful, breathtaking, no matter what she wore, and truly glorious when naked. No clothing, no matter how ugly it was, could ever diminish that deep beauty of hers. If anything, it accentuated her natural beauty even more, turning him on all the more.

Seeing her in that ugly flannel only increased his desire to rip the annoying piece of clothing away.

Perhaps it would be wiser for her to dress up into sexy little negligees. At least then he wouldn't be tempted to remove her clothing in order to see her in all her glory.

His mind provided him on the spot with various flashes of times when she had dressed up for him with a negligee.

Unable to stifle the groan this time, Logan shook his head and turned to lie on his back to give himself more space.

Or perhaps she should stick to the flannel.

Fuck, fuck, fuck...

How was he ever going to survive this?

From across the room, Rory made a low sound, a mixture of a groan and a sigh which he knew only too well, having brought her to make this sound under him countless times.

Shooting up, he stared for a moment wide-eyed over to the sleeping form of his Ace, turning over in that moment, stretching her arms above her, giving him a perfect view of her chest.

Regardless of the flannel or the dim moonlight it was unmistakable that the sound had been what it always had been.

Jesus Christ!

Grinding his teeth, Logan grabbed the clothes he had already gotten out for himself and headed for the bathroom. It was almost dawn anyway and there was no way he would be able to go to sleep.

Not after that.

Getting away at least a bit from Rory and most importantly, treating himself to a cold, cold shower was much more pressing at the moment.

Perhaps it would cool him down enough to face the coming day and having to spend it with Rory.

But one thing was for sure: he was going to die, sooner or later, of the tension building up inside him if this was to continue like these first twelve hours. There was no way he could survive this for four months.

Not without Rory showing mercy on him and taking him back, hopefully before he had gone completely crazy.

---

She awoke to the smell of heaven... the aroma of coffee as good as you could get it and… the smell of pancakes… and bacon?

Slowly, she opened her eyes and turned her head so she could see the rest of the apartment better.

Sure enough, there was Logan, deeply engrossed on making breakfast. The sight somewhat surprised her. Not Logan in the kitchen per se. No one would give it to him but he was a rather decent cook. But he seldom bothered, preferring to order out or go out altogether. His cooking was reserved for special occasions.

Still, there he was and from the look and smell of it, he was in the process of making the best breakfast she ever had. That was, of course, if she was allowed to eat along. They had never discussed how they wanted to handle the food provisions and eating arrangements other than their short disagreement last night. But no matter what, she was going to get herself some of that coffee. And steal herself a pancake and a bit of bacon if necessary. Then again she doubted it would be necessary. Logan wasn't much of an eater at breakfast, keeping it simple usually with coffee, a bit of fruit and a slice of wheat bread, rarely adding a bit of cheese or ham.

Considering that it looked as if he had cooked at least for five people, she was pretty sure he had her in mind while preparing it.

She wasn't sure how to feel about it. Part of her was annoyed. Yeah, they were married and they lived together but bottom line, they weren't back yet to the point of their relationship where he was supposed to make her breakfast.

On the other hand, she couldn't help but be enchanted by it. Oh, to hell with it, the bigger part of her just thought it sweet; she was reeling with joy.

As if sensing her thoughts, Logan turned around and their eyes met. For a moment, neither said anything.

"Morning, Ace," Logan finally broke the silence.

Sitting up, carefully making sure that everything was modest-looking, despite the flannel, she nodded. "Morning."

Another long moment of silence.

"I made breakfast," he stated the obvious after a while, looking away.

"So, I see," Rory replied and stood up, stretching. She had slept better than she had expected. And thank God she hadn't had the dreams she feared she would have. At least she couldn't remember any dream. A welcome change from the past two months where a good night's sleep had become a rarity, her slumber often interrupted by dreams, usually with Logan starring in them in one way or another. Just another reason why she had felt like crap during that time.

It was really hard to forget a man if you didn't just get reminded of him at every corner you took him to but also dreamed of him almost every night.

Shaking her head she yawned and made her way over to the kitchen where Logan had turned away from her, busying himself with the scrambled eggs he was making.

She poured herself a mug of coffee and sat down by the counter, watching him for a moment as he beat and cooked the eggs with some milk. Was she just imagining it or did he seem a bit tense?

"What's the occasion?" she asked though, helping herself to a slice of bacon.

Hmm... She could definitely get used to it.

"No occasion," Logan answered, drawing her attention back to him. There was something in his voice... "I got up early and had nothing better to do," he added, sounding almost defensive.

"Well, thank you," she said lightly but honestly and waited until he glanced at her before she smiled. "I sure could get used to this. Interested in a job on the side? You make me breakfasts like this and I pay you with those disgusting After Eights you like so much, Heaven knew why." She made a face. "They're just awful."

She had meant to lighten him up, ease his tension and waited for his comeback. It just never came. Instead, he concentrated on his scrambled eggs, keeping his back turned from her and if anything, he tensed even more.

"Logan?" she asked, unsure and got up, moving towards him without realizing it and laid a hand onto his back. She couldn't help it. Something wasn't right, he was clearly upset and, instinctively, her first reaction was to comfort him.

He took a sharp, deep breath and moved away from her touch.

Still she wanted to follow him but she reined in her concern and stayed where she was, not being able to help ease the hurt though. She knew they weren't really together yet, but Logan had comforted her so much these past few days that she had thought that she should comfort him to return the favor.

She should have known better anyway. If bothered by something, Logan didn't like to be touched, at least not by anyone. It had taken a while for him to relax at her touch, not tensed, letting her close, letting her in.

Judging by his reaction just now she guessed that she had lost that trust. Considering their break-up, she shouldn't be surprised by this. And probably, only a few days ago it wouldn't have bothered her. But it bothered her now, more than she had thought possible. He had every right to not want to let her in yet -- and still she didn't like it. Their relationship had shifted these past few days. Hell, she had told him that she still loved him and would like to get back together with him!

"Sorry," Logan mumbled, avoiding her eyes.

Of course, she had also told him that she didn't trust him anymore. Keeping that in mind, she shrugged. "No need to," she said as disinterested and as dispassionate as she could manage and then looked away, ruining all her efforts. But she didn't want him to see the hurt in her eyes. She had no right to be hurt.

Logan sighed. "Rory..."

She shook her head and turned back to her bar stool and breakfast -- though she wasn't all that hungry anymore.

"Rory, please," Logan though insisted, approaching her.

It was her turn to tense a bit. She shook her head. "No, it's okay, really. I understand."

"I don't think so," he muttered darkly and then he was beside her, turning her so she faced him by gripping her hands. "It's not what you think, Rory."

She raised her eyes to meet his, seeing the turmoil in them, anger and... Oh.

Oh...

Logan nodded and let go of her rather abruptly, backing away.

"Uh..." was the only very intelligent comment she was able to come up with.

He laughed humorlessly and went back to attend to his eggs.

Rory stared at his back, rather dumbfounded -- until she noticed her eyes focusing on Logan's more than viewable backside, the muscles in his back tensing once again in reaction to her stare.

Damn it.

Deeply red, she tore her eyes away and stood up. "Uhm..." Yeah, way to go! Very eloquent. "I think I better go get dressed and showered. I mean, the other way around would probably be smarter, otherwise it would be a bit uncomfortable I guess, huh? And to no real use anyway." Shut up, shut up, shut up! "I'll be in the bathroom then."

Logan nodded. "That might be a good idea, Ace," he answered, his voice just a tad bit husky and his eyes still fixed on the eggs.

She didn't bother to give another reply but, instead, grabbed herself a few things to change into and then fled into the bathroom. Soon after, she sagged against the marble wall and closed her eyes, letting the cold stream of water break over her.

Three more minutes with him in that state, and, without any doubt, she would have jumped him -- she was sure of that. Such was the impact the heat in his eyes had had on her when he had let her see just what was bothering him.

So she wanted him. That was nothing new. And he wanted her. Nothing new either.

Still... The look in his eyes had been different than before, more intense, more heated -- more needy. Perhaps because it's been so long for them. And perhaps, because she was still off limits at the moment, deepening the desire. But she couldn't shake the feeling that it went deeper than that. That the need and lust she had seen in his eyes was more profound than simple sex or even just love making. More -- essential.

And hell if it hadn't called out to her, called for her to go to him, reach out, respond to that need, satisfy it. But also, and she hated to admit it, filling her with a deep satisfaction that she could still affect him like that, without even trying to. And knowing instinctively that only she was able to still that need.

More than anything else, she wanted to go out and just do that.

But that wouldn't be fair, for either one of them, but mostly not for him. She may crave him, but she still wasn't sure yet. Getting there, getting there fast considering the last day and this morning, but not quite ready yet, however. And she wouldn't and couldn't do this to him, to them, as long as she wasn't sure. It would hurt them too much. Hurt him.

Now she just had to figure out how to not succumb to the sexual tension between them in the meantime. She was no saint. Nor a virgin. Her body knew only too well that her lover was nearby and craved his touch again. And she missed the sex with Logan. It had been fine when they hadn't seen each other but now, living with him? Oh yeah, she remembered only too well.

But she didn't want sex.

If they did it again, she wanted to make love, to let go completely, to welcome him, making them one. To mate.

And that couldn't happen as long as she wasn't sure.

So she should perhaps take up jogging, spend the sexual tension elsewhere. Or she could bike. Logan had one of those stationary exercise bikes.

She thought of sweating it out in front of him and grimaced.

Definitely not. That wouldn't help their situation at all if he had any similar reaction to the sight like she had when watching him work out.

So it needed to be something away from the apartment. She could go swimming. It would have the benefit of both, cold water and exercise.

Eww, no.

Perhaps she could take up squash. Her mom could come and play with her, since she was still frustrated with Luke as well.

Yeah, perhaps that was it. At least squash was an indoor sports and considering the small room, they wouldn't have to move too much, right? And hitting a ball against the wall had to be satisfying.

But most of all, it looked doable. After all, how hard could it be to hit a ball against the wall?

Her mind flashed back to the heat in Logan's eyes and groaning, Rory leaned her head back. As soon as she was out and had finished her breakfast she was calling her mother to see if she wanted to try it out this afternoon. If not, she'd call Paris.

Just as long as she got out of the apartment and away from Logan. Handsome, hot Logan who looked at her as if he wanted to devour her -- body and soul.

---

"Say that again," Logan demanded, blinking.

He must have heard her wrong. There was no way she had said...

"I'm going squashing," she repeated though, as if that was the most normal thing in the world.

Very slowly, Logan nodded. "Right. With your mother."

"Hmm. It's perfect for us. We're indoors, can dress into cool outfits and don't have to move too much," Rory nodded, packing her sports bag. Or rather his that she had borrowed.

Again, Logan nodded slowly. "Have you played squash before?"

She contemplated lying, he could see that. But in the end she just shrugged. "No, but we figured it might just be the sports for us, after having searched for it all our lives." She paused for a moment. "It looks easy enough. You hit the ball against the wall and that's it. Can't be that hard."

Somehow, Logan managed to keep a straight face. "Hmm..." he commented, as calm and as unaffected as he could. "Well, have fun then."

"Oh, I'm sure we'll have. We always have fun," Rory told him confidently and took the bag, swinging it over her shoulder just as the bell rang. "That must be Mom. I'll be back by evening. I'm bringing dinner. Any preferences?"

Logan shook his head. "As long as it's not Indian I'm okay with whatever you decide on," he replied, not daring to say anything further or protest against her bringing dinner like he normally would.

Rory bounced away.

"Ace?"

Opening the door, she looked back at him.

"Watch out for those balls," he told her, seriously. Well, almost.

"Will do," she nodded. "Bye!"

And gone she was. Off to go squashing.

He waited a full minute before breaking out into that laughter he had held back ever since she first had told him of her plans.

He wasn't stupid. He knew perfectly well why she wanted to go out and even why she felt the need to do sports, of all things. She hated sports, in every form, manner or shape. Truly hated it. And having witnessed a few of her attempts at it, he agreed that sports just wasn't her thing and didn't bode well with her either.

Yet she suddenly wanted to go squashing.

Of course, he had felt her eyes lingering on him after he had let her know just why he had reacted to her touch like he had this morning. Nor had he missed the heated cheek or the smell of a cold shower on her when she had finally emerged from the bathroom.

He himself had gone out for a good long jog this morning for all the good it had done him. All it had taken was seeing Rory in all her sleepy, slightly rumpled morning glory and the desire -- like he seldom had experienced -- had overcome him with a rush, leaving him all but hanging on onto his control. And when she had touched him in her concern... He had to move away or he'd have taken her right there and then.

It had obviously flustered her when she had caught on and he had no qualms admitting that he very much liked that fact. He loved how he still could affect her, despite everything, as hard as it was to hold himself back.

So he could understand her need for exercise perfectly. Technically. This was still his Ace though and the thought of his Ace and squash... Even better, Lorelai and Rory and squash? It was simply hilarious.

Shaking his head, he laughed again as he walked over to the bathroom and got out the cooling pads, carrying them over to the kitchen and putting them into the freezer. He very much doubted that they would actually play. But they might try a ball or two after all and knowing his Ace and sports, he thought it wise to prepare just in case.

Of course he could have warned her. But first, he doubted she would have listened anyway and, second... If she thought she needed to play squash, then by all means he wouldn't stand in the way. She obviously didn't want the obvious solution to the sexual tension they were suffering from, not that that surprised him and if she found a way to let it out, perhaps it would make their situation better. He doubted it, but it was worth a shot. Besides, she had to find out on her own.

It hadn't been hard for Logan to realize that there was only one way to take care of the tension and until then they just would have to suffer through it. That was, if they made it to making love again. His confidence of that happening had grown but he wasn't as sure that it was happening anytime soon.

And that was a problem.

Flipping down onto the couch, he turned on the television and laid down. He was tired and now, with Rory out of the apartment he might get a bit of shut-eye in. At least he hoped so. Even without them actually playing he doubted Rory would come back before a couple of hours, her need to get out too great. To be honest, he too was glad that she was out for a while, giving his senses that were under a constant attack a rest. He could have gone out himself, but he hadn't felt like it and now with Rory out playing squash he didn't want to miss her return for anything in the world.

It promised to be interesting to say the least.

With that thought in mind he finally fell asleep within seconds.

---

A small moan woke him up rather abruptly. Sitting up, he scanned the dark apartment, needed a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness though until he could make out Rory's silhouette moving quietly towards the bathroom, moving a bit slow.

"Ace?" he asked and, frowning, pushed the button that flooded the whole apartment with light.

Blinking against the sudden brightness, Rory nodded. "Yeah, it's me."

"You could have turned on the lights," he told her, still frowning. Something was off.

"You were sleeping," Rory pointed out and turned her head to him. "I didn't want to wake you up."

Cursing, Logan was up and standing over by her in a flash, tenderly cupping her face and turning it so he had a better view of the nasty shiner forming around her right eye. She shied away from his probing touch but he held her firmly in place. "Ball got in the way?" he finally asked softly, caressing over the bruised skin.

Making a face, she nodded.

"Didn't I tell you to keep an eye out for it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and allowing himself a small smile.

"To quote a well used saying: 'Easier said than done'," she replied, giving him a half-hearted glare. "You can let go of me now, you know," she then added, shifting a bit.

And winced.

His eyes narrowing, Logan remembered her slow movement and the moan that had woken him. He held on, his eyes roaming over her body. "The ball got you anywhere else?" he demanded to know.

Surprisingly, she answered though without any fuss. "Got one into the hip area as well. It's not that bad though, just a bruise."

"Let me see," he insisted, already reaching for the hem of her pullover but this time she drew back from him.

"Trust me, it's no big deal. I had worse, believe me, so I know the difference," she told him and went up to the bed, sitting down only with a slight wince.

Temporarily distracted, he frowned at her. This was news to him. Noticing his look, she rolled her eyes. "Relax. It was ages ago and just a small accident. Crashed the car into a tree after avoiding a cat or something like that. Nothing happened though, I just had a broken wrist and a few bruises. Bruises that were much worse than this one now, okay?"

"You crashed a car into a tree?" Logan repeated incredulously, feeling a slight surge of panic despite the fact that it happened a long time ago. Crashing into a tree was not something small. It could have killed her.

"Well, technically Jess drove, but it's been my fault totally. First I wanted to make an extra round and then I distracted him," Rory clarified with a shrug.

"Jess," Logan asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Yeah, my ex-boyfriend," Rory elaborated, oblivious to his sudden rage. "I told you about him, didn't I? Though back then, we hadn't been together yet, only friends. I was tutoring him, not that he had needed it."

Oh yeah, he remembered Jess perfectly well. After all, he had been the reason that led to their break-up. Plus, she had mentioned that Jess guy a time or two before that fateful night. She had neglected to mention then though that the jerk had almost killed her! If he was ever going to see that guy again...

Reining in his rage, he concentrated on the here and now. Rory was right, her bruise on the face would heal and so would probably the other one. Ice would still help though. Quickly moving to the kitchen, he grabbed two of the cooling pads and moved back to her, wrapping each in a towel. Carefully pressing one to the shiner on her eye, he handed her the other one, knowing better than to even try taking care of that one as well. And later, he could give her some salve to help keep down the swelling and bruising. Still...

"You'll have a pretty nice shiner here, Ace," he sighed.

Moving the ice-pack to her hip, she sighed. "Yeah, I figured. The leeches will love it. Not only were we married by mere stupidity, now the eligible bachelor turns out to be a brutal beater on top of that."

He frowned, not having thought that far yet. The thought was ridiculous and it didn't sit well with him at all that someone could think that of him but he guessed some people would love to jump to such a conclusion. He knew some papers definitely would if they got wind of it.

"Or we give them an even better story," he suggested, thinking quickly.

Pulling her pants down a little and her shirt a bit up, also, to get better access to put the pack on her hip, Rory shrugged. "We better not try it with the truth, I guess."

"Keep still," Logan told her, then smiled. "No, better not. No one will believe that you did any activity that even resembled any sports in the slightest on your own."

"And I have good reason not to," she nodded vehemently. "You see what happens when I do try. Thanks by the way. The pads really help." Her eyes narrowed. "How come you had them so practically handy though?" she wanted to know.

Logan gave her his best smirk. "Like you said, Ace… you and sports don't bode well."

"A warning would have been nice," she grumbled.

His smirk widened. "Let's forget for a moment that you wouldn't have listened to me anyway, really Ace, where would the fun be in that?"

Glaring at him, she took the other pad out of his hand as well and scooted over a bit. "See if I let you have any of the duck."

"Duck?"

"I ordered Chinese. It should come in about twenty minutes," she told him. "But no duck for you."

"I nursed you just now and prepared the cold packs," Logan pointed out, grinning.

"Which you wouldn't have needed to if you had warned me beforehand," Rory argued back.

"You wouldn't have listened to me," Logan once again stated. "And I bought a bookcase just for you."

"Just because you hate it if everything lies around," Rory countered, smiling herself by now.

But Logan wasn't one to give up easily. "I made you breakfast."

"You ate it as well and you really just did it because you were bored, not because you really made it for me," Rory though wasn't one to succumb easily either.

"I let you read the Times first," he retorted back.

She laughed. "And I let you have the Post first."

"You don't like the Post," Logan pointed out triumphantly.

"And you find the Times boring. Not to mention that you hate sharing the paper. You always say I'm too slow," Rory just said back, as triumphantly.

"You are," he nodded. "It takes ages until you're through with a page."

"Excuse me if I like to really read an article instead of just fly over it," Rory answered.

"I read them well enough, Ace," Logan protested. "And there's slow and there's slow."

Rory eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you, my dear Ace, are really, really slow," Logan smirked.

"I am not!" she flared up.

"Yes you are!" he grinned.

They probably would have continued like that for a while but at that moment, the bell interrupted them. They both looked over with a frown.

"Must be the delivery guy," Rory said and was about to get up.

Logan pushed her down again, gently. "You stay put and keep the pads in place. I'll take care of it."

She shrugged and surprisingly did as she was told. "No need for a tip, Logan, I already took care of that when I paid the food in the restaurant."

He glanced back at her and yep, she had a smug smile on her face.

He quickly turned away so she couldn't see his grin. She liked to have the last word in and this time he would let her have it.

For now.

---

The night had been uncomfortable. And not because of the hurting bruises, no it had much more to do with the man sleeping not fifty feet away from her. Or rather said, the man who wasn't sleeping not fifty feet away from her.

Unlike the previous night, she hadn't been able to fall asleep this time. At first she just hadn't been too comfortable with the stinging bruises. Then, she had grown aware of the lack of deep breathing or even light snores coming from the couch. And she had barely noticed that when she had also taken note of just how much he had kept turning restlessly on the sofabed.

Sure, he had been sleeping when she had come home from her squashing horror trip, but still... Logan wasn't exactly a light sleeper and usually falling asleep quite fast. True, usually she had fallen asleep before him, his warmth and steady heartbeat just lulling her quickly into a satisfying, relaxing and comfortable sleep but she had the habit of waking up several times at night, often having to make a trip to the bathroom. To drink so much coffee during the day had cost her at least a small price during the night. But Logan usually slept soundly through her nightly trips, not that she stayed away for long. He would only wake up if she stayed away longer, if she had gone to read or something like that and then he would come to bring her back to bed.

So it was unusual for him to be not able to sleep. And somehow, his inability to fall asleep now stopped her as well, becoming hyper-aware of every tossing and turning he did, every low sigh he emitted occasionally. Something told her that if they weren't sleeping fifty feet away from each other they both would probably sleep like a baby, instead of all this lying awake and pretending to be asleep.

But to share a bed was out of the question -- for now. She knew also without doubt that neither of them would be able to resist the other if they would lie beside each other.

Remembering the tender care he had for her when she had returned home hurt and the easy-going light-hearted guy she later had shared dinner with and with whom she had fallen in love in the first place made her think that perhaps it was for the best for both their sanities to simply give in to what their bodies so obviously wanted and jump each other, getting it over with.

And yet she restrained herself and kept the distance between them.

She wasn't sure why anymore -- it just felt right, no matter how much it hurt at the same time to stay away from Logan.

At least that was the conclusion she had come to during this long night. It just wasn't right yet. Not until she was a hundred percent sure. She may already be at ninety-seven percent or something like that, but there was still this small fear left and, until she hadn't overcome that one absolutely, she just couldn't put Logan and herself through the hurt casual sex would cause them without any doubt.

That hadn't worked at all that time back when they had first started sleeping together and it sure wouldn't work now. Neither Logan nor herself wanted it to be just sex, to take care of this terrible itch, she knew that as surely as she knew her own birthday.

So instead of telling Logan to come over to their bed, she had waited until it was safe to get up in order to get ready for her day, ignoring Logan still pretending to be asleep. She helped herself to a cold shower, got dressed and then covered the shiner with a cosmetic concealer as much as she could. It wasn't as bad as she had feared, the ice and salve Logan had given her for the bruises had done wonders overnight, but there were still traces of the bruising. Oh well, it was supposed to be a sunny day. She'd just wear her sunglasses when outside and would sit at the back of the classroom for a change, letting her hair cover it. That should take care of any uncalled for attention.

There was no way that she wanted anyone to believe that Logan was responsible for her bruises. Logan would never in his life raise his hand against her or any woman for that matter.

Stupid squashing.

Why on Earth had she had this hare-brained idea in the first place?

She left the bathroom, immediately becoming aware of the sexual tension sizzling in the room.

Right... that had been it.

Shaking her head, she quietly walked over to the kitchen and brewed her coffee while she also put on some water for Logan's tea. She helped herself to a bowl of cocoa pops, leaving the things out for Logan who still pretended to be asleep. Apparently, he had decided that the best way to avoid this damn tension was by avoiding her. Especially if he was as affected by all this as she suspected him to be, she thought, blushing. Oh yeah, it definitely was safer for both of them if he stayed where he was until she had left. Besides, his classes wouldn't start for at least two hours after hers.

She was still too early for school, but then she wanted to get in some reading before her classes started anyway. Concentrating in the apartment was simply impossible.

Keeping that in mind, she quietly put away her dishes, packed her books and then quietly left, pretending to believe Logan was still asleep.

Almost forty-eight hours done -- only three months, twenty-nine days and a few hours to go...

Sighing, Rory made a face and leaned her head against the elevator wall.

She better overcome those last three percent of her fear soon. This just was not the way to live and was only a guarantee that she and Logan would be driven crazy within the next few days.

---

The morning hadn't continued much better. At first it wasn't bad, but only because she had been one of the early students on campus. By the time she had left her first class to go to the next one, the campus had filled with students and it hadn't taken long before they began to openly stare at her, whispering behind her back.

She couldn't really blame them, but seriously... Didn't they have their own lives and worries? Did they absolutely have to concern themselves with her and Logan's lives?

So she had unintentionally married one of the most eligible bachelors of the country. So what? She hadn't been the only one to have been fooled by the madman of a magistrate, nor were they the only couple who had to suffer because it was an election year and the judge wanted to make a point.

And it wasn't as if they were that big celebrities. Or that they hadn't been a steady couple at the time of the so-called fake ceremony.

There was nothing to be ashamed of, absolutely nothing.

Didn't mean though that the louder whispers -- those intended for her to hear -- didn't get to her. She knew it was stupid, but she couldn't help it. Hearing that she was only a heartless bitch having maneuvered Logan into being caught in a marriage with her hurt her almost as much as having to hear her being called a manipulating, greedy whore or worse things. Needless to say that those comments came from girls and quite a few of them even coming from the precious High Society circle.

She wasn't exactly surprised by that -- those women had never liked that Logan had settled down with her of all people and even less when it turned out very obviously that he actually was really serious about her. There had been a party among those girls who had been waiting in line when word had gotten out that Logan Huntzberger was a free man again, Rory knew that only too well. She had also noticed how they hadn't wasted any time and had thrown themselves at Logan. Who, much to their disappointment, hadn't gone back to his old womanizing ways and instead had drawn back, brooding.

It had been impossible not to hear the rumors, no matter how much she avoided them. Though, to be absolutely honest, the perverted, dark part of her had been very gleeful to see that she had had an impact on Logan, after all, he had discarded her so easily.

But it was no wonder that those women, having had their hopes up, were now even angrier with her for crashing those hopes again and apparently for good this time. After all, she was married to him now, his legal wife and all, sharing a home with him even.

And once again, there was this perverted side of her that mentally stuck out her tongue at all of them, feeling not just a bit triumphantly, but almost proudly jubilant.

Speaking of confusing. There she was, unhappy about the situation and at the same time feeling this strange satisfaction. Which was perhaps also the reason why the trash talk was now getting to her so much.

An arm dropped around her shoulder. "There you are!"

Rory looked up with a frown. "Finn."

"I've been looking for you, love," he just grinned widely, winking at her, drawing her a bit closer. "I'm here to dutifully whisk you away to have lunch with your humble husband and his two best friends."

Her eyebrow rose. "Lunch?"

"Sure!" Finn nodded, steering her towards the dining hall. "Now that we finally can be friends again I insist on having lunch with you again. It's just too much fun watching you eat. You have no idea how I've missed that wonderful sight."

"Finn!"

"Besides," he told her, his voice low, leaning down to her, "the way I see it, you for sure would rather spend your lunch with your loved one and friends than sitting all alone and pretending not to hear all those excited whispers, don't you?"

Well... yeah. She sure couldn't deny that.

Seeing that, Finn straightened up, grinning widely again and pulled her with him. "Have to look out for our little wifey here after all. Or so it says in the best friend handbook: Well-being of wife of best friend top priority. Gotta say, it sure is exciting to suddenly have all these new duties."

Then again, if Finn continued making such comments, she may just have him for lunch.

"Seriously though, my mate's worried about you, you know. Hard to miss the hostility from a certain gender here," Finn continued and looking up into his eyes, she could see that he actually was really serious.

Looking away, she shrugged. "I'm fine."

"Sure you are. Why shouldn't you be? You know that no one in his right mind should pay attention to such talk," Finn nodded and squeezed her shoulder.

Rory couldn't help but smile, leaning into the warmth of the tall Australian. "Of course not," she agreed, feeling a lot better, just like that.

That was one of the things she had missed most: to have Finn and Colin as her friends -- Finn, with his incredible sensitive intuition and talent to cheer her up and Colin with his reliable support and iron friendship. So she was more than happy to be able to spend time with them again.

At least one good thing that had come out of this whole fiasco.

With satisfaction, Logan watched Rory relaxing more and more during their lunch together with Finn and Colin. Arriving on campus that morning, he had immediately noticed the glances and whispers following him everywhere. Not that he had expected anything less. He was used to being a well-known person, one of those guys the whole student body recognized more or less. Not only because of his name, but also because he was just a popular guy.

News about him being stuck in a marriage after a supposedly fake wedding in Vegas were bound to heat up the rumor mill like crazy so he didn't mind that much.

He did mind though the effect all the rumors had on Rory. She wasn't used to being the focus of everyone's attention and one quick glance at her hurrying from one class to another, Logan had seen it was taking its toll on her. Plus, there were the glares she received from the bimbos, thinking they had some sort of claim on him. He didn't appreciate those either.

So he had asked Finn to ask her to have lunch with them since he would be still stuck in a class on the other side of the campus by the time her class was over. And boy, was he glad he had that brilliant idea. Joking around with his friends clearly calmed Rory. And even better, with his two friends, there as a buffer, it was even possible for them to spend time together without that damn sexual tension always sizzling between them, making it almost unbearable to be alone with each other.

Perhaps he should ask Finn and Colin to move in as well.

Remembering how sharing space with both of them was like before, he quickly shook his head. No way. He'd rather combust with sexual frustration than endure that again.

Maybe though they could come over for dinner? Or even better yet, the four of them could go out together for dinner that night. Yeah! "You guys busy tonight?" he already asked, having barely finished his thought. "I thought we could go out, grab something to eat, hit a few bars."

"I'm in," Finn immediately perked up, nodding vigorously.

"Big surprise," muttered Colin, but nodded as well. "Come on, Rory, you pick the place."

For a moment, her eyes glanced from Colin and Finn to Logan and he already thought she'd refuse, but then, to his surprise, she shrugged. "Then I want to go to Papalino."

Colin made a face. "That filthy place? I'm sure there are cockroaches in the kitchen."

"Doesn't matter. They still make the best pizza you can get in New Haven," Rory just shrugged his complaint away.

"Plus, there you can have those thin grissini. I love those and haven't had them in ages," Finn nodded, his eyes already gleaming with excitement.

It was true enough. Logan had refused to go to any of Rory's favorite places during their break-up, if they had managed to talk him into going out at all. The memories would have just been too much for him. But now things were different, weren't they? Not perfect yet, but much better than when they were broken up for good. "Papalino it is," he confirmed, looking at Rory.

Their eyes met and held, both of them starting to smile.

Yeah, things were definitely starting to look up.

---

"That was a nice evening."

Still in the elevator riding up to their floor, Logan looked at Rory across the space between them. "Yeah."

It had been a good evening. Much like old times. Them having fun together with Finn and Colin, kicking back, taking a well-deserved break from student life. It had been relaxed, entertaining, comfortable. Up until now. As soon as Finn and Colin had dropped them off and they had entered the building, being alone again, awkwardness and frustration had quickly sneaked back in.

He couldn't help but think that if this were old times, he'd be plastered all over his girlfriend right now, pressing her against the wall and contemplating pressing the alarm button than standing across from his wife on the other side of the elevator, his hands deeply buried in his pockets.

He could not even refrain from thinking about how they would proceed to make love in his bed for the better part of the night and maybe even in the shower tomorrow morning.

Instead, they were going to enter their apartment, avoid looking at each other and Heaven forbid, come into touching distance and go to sleep separately, and, if last night was any indicator, neither of them would have any sleep at all, let alone a good sleep.

Rory seemed to notice the shift in the air between them also as she was silent all the way back into their apartment. Once inside, she proceeded quietly to put everything away while he did basically the same, only on the other side of the apartment.

"I'm sorry."

Caught off guard, Logan looked up to see her standing in the middle of the living room, looking unhappily at him. He frowned. "For what?"

"For keeping us apart." She spread her arms, looking even more miserable. "For making this such a hell on us."

There were many things going through his mind in answer to that, but in the end he settled for a sigh. "Do you trust me yet? Enough to let me back in again?"

The expression on her face was almost pained. The same pain that shot through his heart as she slowly shook her head. "No," she whispered. "I'm not ready yet." She bit her lip. "By God, I wish I were, really. All I want is jump you, just so we're clear on that. But it wouldn't be with all my heart and that..."

"Wouldn't be fair on either of us," he finished her sentence softly. He understood, truly, he did. But for once, they were on the same page, as hard as that was. "Nor would I want it that way. You know I love you. You know I want you, desperately. But just sex isn't good enough for me either anymore, Rory. When we make love again, I want all of you… body, heart, and soul… and I want you to be sure, to be happy and at ease with yourself, with me, with us."

Her eyes widened and she stared at him for a long moment. "Me too," she nodded and then attempted a light smile. "And just so you know… you just made good on a point or two."

He shared the smile. "Good to know. I aim to cover everything and soon. Because you're right… this is hell."

When guilt flickered over her face again, he almost wished he hadn't said that last bit, then, again he always preferred to go with the truth. Especially with his Ace.

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

Slowly walking over to her, he stopped before he got so close that he could feel the warmth coming from her body. "Don't be. In the first place, I fucked up… this is as much your fault as mine, if not even more so. But I mean it, Rory. Take your time, all the time you need. And once you've found that you can trust me with your heart again, then, I'll be here." He stopped, eyeing her with an intensity that heated up the room. At least so it felt to him. "Because don't ever think that I'll grow tired of waiting. I won't let go, Ace, not unless you tell me in no uncertain words that that's what you want." Another short pause before he continued. "I do so hope that when you make your decision, it will be one in my favor."

She held his eyes, didn't waver once, until she nodded. "Most likely."

He smiled, his heart beating a little faster but also feeling a lot less heavy. Now, that didn't sound so bad, did it?

---

"How much longer will you let our boy hang out there?"

That was the question Finn had asked her during lunch today. Both Logan and Colin had to leave for their classes earlier, leaving Finn and Rory alone. A question that was haunting her ever since.

At her dumbfounded and shocked look, Finn had simply returned the look. "Love, I know he fucked up. But he's sorry. Truly sorry. He's been miserable since your break up… inconsolable. And let me tell you, so little fun. Sad as it is, but fact is, our boy loves you so much, he can't be happy without you anymore. No joy left to live whatsoever." He shook his head, sadly, before perking up. "But thank Heaven, he's back on track once again, becoming my best mate again. Ever since you came back into his life. It's not entirely back to good yet though, 'cause you're letting him hang and dry out there. But it's obvious that you still love him, hence you'll take him back anyway, so how much longer 'til you finally make him… and not to forget yourself… happy again, love?"

First, she had no idea what to tell him. "It's not so easy, Finn."

"He loves you, you love him." He cocked his head, regarding her inquiringly. "Seems pretty easy to me."

"Love's not everything," she answered, perhaps a bit bitterly.

Of course though, he just laughed. "Love, Love's everything."

"No," she contradicted. "No. There's also trust. And that's an issue after everything that happened."

For a moment, Finn was silent, studying her. Finally, he shrugged. "Still don't see the problem. Do you believe that he loves you?"

"Yeah, but..."

"Do you trust him to not hurt you?"

"Of course he wouldn't, but..."

"Purposely?"

She hesitated for a moment. "No, not intentionally. Didn't stop him from hurting me anyway though."

Again, Finn shrugged. "Yeah well, he's stupid sometimes. Quite a lot actually, if you ask me. Plus, he's new to this whole relationship business. Hadn't had much of a relationship with anyone yet. I mean, you've met Mitchum and Shira, haven't you? And you're still surprised he makes mistakes and fucked up a tense moment in your relationship into such unknown dimensions?"

Put it like that...

"Besides," Finn added, his eyes hardening. "Make no mistake here, love. He may have been the one to make the most mistakes… but from what I heard you aren't completely faultless either… and you've hurt him as well, very much so as it is."

She was silent.

He nodded. "Not to forget that if there's no trouble in paradise once in a while, something's just not right. When you love, you're vulnerable. And all loved ones get hurt from time to time. Which brings me back to my original point… love's all that really matters and even your precious trust is there on the big points which only really count anyway. And as pretty much everyone can see how much you also want to bang each other… I ask again… What are you still waiting for?"

He held her eyes for another moment, before he smiled and got up. With a kiss on the top of her head, he left without another word, leaving her to stare after him.

She hadn't been able to get this conversation with Finn out of her mind. He had made it sound so simple. All her arguments so irrelevant suddenly.

It sure made her think.

Strange enough, after their talk that first Monday night, living with Logan had gotten easier. Sure, the attraction was still there but it had dimmed to a bearable level and the awkwardness that had settled in whenever they had been alone slowly dissipated.

The more days passed, the more comfortable Rory felt with Logan. They still avoided touching or getting too close to each other (because hey, their resolve was only so strong when not confronted with temptation) but instead, they started to talk more again, about everything and anything, often also discussing rather than simply talking. It reminded her of the time before they became a couple, before the shit had hit the fan and it was a good feeling. Even better was that they also laughed more and more again, sharing jokes, having fun with each other or with Finn and Colin.

What really made her heart melt time and time again was the silent support Logan gave her. Life outside their apartment wasn't easy. The school still buzzed with the rumors about them and in quite many of them, she was made the bad guy who somehow had arranged this whole fake/real marriage shit. And girls of course still kept glaring at her, resenting her. That wasn't the worst though. What really hit her hard was the animosity that she encountered when going back to the Yale Daily News. Somehow, her suddenly being a part of the Huntzberger family -- no matter that it wasn't wanted or even only temporarily -- was held against her. Apparently, her career as a journalist was now a given, no matter what she did, so her colleagues resented and envied her now, bombarding her constantly with snide remarks and jabs.

It hurt her. She had thought they were her friends, the one group who might support her at least somewhat in this mess, but once again, she was disappointed. Plus, as if her new status as a Huntzberger family member wasn't enough, she was also the best friend of Paris, the editor from hell. And Paris, oblivious to everything, had even declared that she was her second in command, giving her a cap that had the number '2' silk-screened on it. So Rory was viewed as double enemy among the staff, no matter what she said or tried to do to convince them otherwise.

But she wasn't alone, no, Logan was there, always. Rumors left him cold, as well as the bimbos, and his nonchalance towards them helped her ignore them as well. The minute he had gotten wind of what was going on at the paper, he had reclaimed his abandoned desk in the newsroom, almost never leaving her alone in there with the mob. Plus, much to Paris' delight, he was turning in article after article, reminding everyone that he could damn write and whatever success he'd had later on in his family's firm, it was more than merited. His attitude inspired Rory once again and soon, it didn't sting as much anymore. She knew she was good. So what if she had married into one of the oldest and most important media family of the country? She would still rock as a reporter, no matter if it was with a Huntzberger newspaper or another one. Because married to the boss or not, she would make her mark in the newspaper world.

And if Logan did all these things without hesitation or comment, she was also aware that he fielded off quite a lot of press questions. He hadn't told her but Mitchum, once called the landline in search for him but only reaching Rory, had had no qualms in complaining about all the questions and invitations to talk shows and interviews that apparently came in. He had even mentioned something about Oprah and Jay Leno.

It was absolutely crazy and Rory was very glad that Logan was handling those. She doubted she would have found any words when suddenly such media legends were on the phone inviting her to their shows to talk about the most embarrassing and humiliating thing that ever happened to her. If she was ever to appear in anyone's show, it would be because she had earned it with her work, not because she had fallen victim to a fanatic lunatic.

So here she was now, a month into living with her husband, sitting on the very couch he still slept on, contemplating their situation. Logan had told her that he wanted her to be sure and he'd wait as long as it takes. And he had kept his word.

Not once had he pressured her. When her nearness had aroused him, he had tried to hide it from her. Of course she still noticed it. She knew him and his body, knew the signs. Not to mention that her body always seemed to pick up on the reactions in his body, responding to it. Like Logan, she hid it, but she doubted he was anymore fooled than she was. He let her live her life, only coordinating with her when it concerned their life together like their meals or going out with their friends, once or twice for a meeting with Wellburn.

Their lawyer had tried to get them that annulment but as expected, they wouldn't stand a chance. After the judge's verdict, nobody wanted to touch their case and obviously, everybody assumed that they for sure had consummated their marriage. So their only recourse was a divorce which they could apply for as soon as the four-month waiting period was over.

Logan's family was still deadset against a divorce though. Wellburn was looking into that, but apparently, the family lawyers weren't making that easy so they were still waiting on solving that mystery. His family for sure hadn't discovered a sudden liking towards her or her family. The few times she had to talk to Shira, it had been Arctic. And Mitchum, when he didn't ignore her, was blaming her for the unwanted attention the family was experiencing at the moment.

She had to say, she was beginning to understand Logan more and more each day, after seeing what he had to live with his whole life. The contempt of his schoolmates just because of his last name, the expectations of his family, including the constant interest of everybody and anybody in all aspects of his life -- no wonder Logan had been so rebellious and wild when they had met first. Slowly, she suspected she wouldn't have been much different if she had grown up like him, as an heiress.

No. Probably not. Her mother would still have been her mother and she just couldn't imagine that her mom would have ever let her be spoiled or forced into a life she didn't choose herself or want, like what the Huntzbergers were doing with Logan.

Nonetheless, through all this, she felt closer to Logan than she ever had been, even before they had broken up.

Truth was, apart from the frustration with the general situation and the sexual tension between her and Logan, living with Logan, being with him was surprisingly comfortable. Good. She felt at home here in this apartment, with him and now, with him out on a Brigade meeting, leaving her all alone in the apartment, she had to admit to herself that she missed him. The apartment felt empty without him in it and she had come to look forward to coming home to him -- or him to her for that matter.

It wasn't just that. After falling back into their usual morning routine, she enjoyed waking up with him there. She liked having lunch with him and his friends most of the time. Going out with the stooges was relaxing. And it just felt right, just like last Sunday when they had a mellow time -- they stayed home the whole day and watched a movie and a TV show marathon on Logan's impossibly big television, sitting side by side, eating popcorn, just having fun.

Though it would be even better if instead of waking up to see him sleeping on this very couch, she'd wake up in his arms. That instead of sitting on each side of the sofa, they'd be snuggled up together in the middle of the couch. That after coming home, they would welcome each other with a kiss instead of a short greeting, perhaps accompanied with a smile.

Shortly, she slowly grew aware that she felt so much at home here because of him. As if that wasn't mind-blowing enough, she felt herself wishing more and more to really be with him again instead of just living with him.

But was that smart? It was barely a month since they had started talking with each other again. How much of what she felt was merely a reaction of being forced to be so close to Logan, constantly? Was she truly ready to give Logan so much again or was her body just desperate to grasp what was in reaching distance? Would this work even when those four months were over and they hadn't had to live together or being married anymore?

Then again, if what she felt was true and Logan was as honest with his feelings for her as he seemed to be, would they even want to live separately ever again? Because right now she wasn't so sure about that. Living with Logan felt so good and right, it was hard to imagine moving away from him again.

And what about the marriage? Yes, she still thought that neither of them was ready for a marriage or wanted a marriage for at least a few years yet for that matter. And when she did marry, she wanted a real ceremony, with her friends and family surrounding her, not some pretended ceremony that no one, apart from the minister, took seriously.

Still...

Right now, she could very well imagine that when the time was right, she would go down the aisle to Logan waiting at the altar for her. Logan and no one else. So if that really was her future, why bother with a divorce at all?

A knock on the door ripped through her deep thoughts but she was quite glad for the interruption. She hadn't just seriously contemplated staying married to Logan, had she?

The knock sounded again, more forcefully this time. Shaking her head, she got up to open the door, not bothering to check the peephole first to see who was at the door. Logan would have a fit, but hey, what he didn't know and all that.

So when she got a good look at the two strong, big and grim-faced men in front of her, she suddenly wished she'd have been a bit more careful. And when the man closest to her moved and she caught a glimpse of shining metal that looked a lot like a gun, she wished more than anything that Logan was there with her.

Her heart beating hard, she contemplated to simply push the door close again but already, the man with the gun moved to stand in the doorway. "Yes?" she asked, her voice surprisingly only trembling a bit.

"Mrs. Huntzberger?" the man asked.

Could they be kidnappers? Robbers? Murderers? Rapists? Should she admit to being who they asked for? Then again, with all the media reports about her and Logan lately, would it even make sense to deny it? Besides, since when did bad guys knock onto the door? Not to mention that the considerable security downstairs apparently had just let them pass. So in the end, she nodded with trepidation. "What can I do for you?"

The man stepped in. "We need to talk, Mrs. Huntzberger."

---

TBC!

(Author's note: It's been a while, huh? Well, for all of those who're still reading this story, here, finally, a new chapter. And as I'm well aware that this is really no nice cliffhanger to leave you on I sincerely promise that it won't take that long for the next chapters. Also, I'd like to take the chance to thank once again my betas for the fantastic work they've done for this story! You rock, girls! Okay, I hope you enjoy this one and until soon. Promise!)