X.
Tessa woke to a glorious sunny day. It seemed that the Sun itself was conspiring to move her healing process along. She knew she should present herself downstairs today, but the emptiness inside her, which had nothing to do with hunger, made her long to stay in the perceived safety of her room. She closed her eyes, took a few deep breaths and climbed from bed.
Tessa took extra care in dressing that day. Another one of her mother's remedies, Tessa remembered, was to dress in an outfit that made you feel your best. "It's Every woman's magic, Tessa. Muggle and Witch alike need to put on their confidence from the outside sometimes, to help feel it on the inside," her mother had told her.
"Black low rise leather pants and a fitted T-shirt ought to do it", she thought to herself. She picked out the crimson tee with a Brian Froud fairy adorning it. She also chose some silver drop earrings with garnets, a set of silver cuff bracelets, and a silver Celtic triskelion. She finished the look with deep red lipstick.
Satisfied, she left her room. In the hallway, she pointedly straightened her spine, took a deep breath and descended the staircase. Feeling much less confident than she looked, she attempted a smile and walked into the kitchen.
She didn't need to be a Seer to know that Molly had informed everyone to be extra nice and chipper when Tessa appeared downstairs. Smiles greeted her and everyone said, "Morning," in a slightly over bright tone.
She was relieved that Remus was not there. Tessa was still not sure whether she was ready to see him. She was fairly certain she would fall into tears if she did and she desperately did not want that to happen.
It was clear that the Weasley's, Hermione and Harry were all well aware of the situation between Remus and herself. They apparently had been given strict instructions to avoid mentioning him. So when Tessa asked, "Where is Remus?" their faces, wide-eyed with shock, turned to her.
Every one of them then turned to Molly unsure what they were to say. Molly, unconcerned, continued making breakfast and said, "Oh, he left early this morning and I don't expect he will be back until late." Satisfied that she could have a somewhat normal day, Tessa asked what everyone's plans were.
At once the chatter returned, less forcibly cheerful this time. It seemed that everyone, including Mr. Weasley, was heading to Diagon Alley to buy supplies for the school term. Tessa asked if it would be all right if she joined them as she had some things she needed to buy and was greeted with a chorus of positive replies.
"Oh, we were hoping you would be able to come," Hermione exclaimed. Ginny agreed, "We wanted to show you around."
Molly assured her, "We would love to have you along. You could help us keep an eye on this lot."
Fred and George looked pleased. "You can finally come and get a tour of our shop."
After breakfast was cleared, everyone gathered downstairs to start their journey across London to Diagon Alley. It had been decided to use the Underground, since, for security reasons, it was unwise to use the Floo Network. Also for Harry's security, Mad-eye Moody was to accompany the group as well.
Moody grumbled, "It should be at least six well-trained wizards instead of just four." George piped in, "What are we, chopped liver, then?" Moody at looked him for a moment, his revolving magical eye glaring at him, "I said well-trained wizards, didn't I?"
Ron and Harry guffawed while Ginny and Hermione giggled. Mrs. Weasley said, "Well, we will just have to make due with what we have here, won't we then." Fred and George looked askance at their mother. "Thanks for the support there, Mum," Fred said.
With that Molly ushered everyone out of the house.
The group made their way to the Underground station. Everyone had become accustomed to traveling in the Muggle way by this time except Moody. Tessa thought that she never saw anyone look so uncomfortable. The rest of the passengers on the train openly gawked at him. She could see it was taking extreme effort on his part to restrain from removing his bowler and staring at them with his revolving eye.
Tessa was extremely glad to have this diversion. It was true she needed supplies for the school term as well as robes, which she didn't own, as they were required of the professors at Hogwarts. But more than that she felt that she needed to be away from Grimmauld Place where every room, every object served to remind her of Remus.
The reached their stop, emerged onto the street and headed toward the Leaky Cauldron. Going through the pub they reached the entrance to Diagon Alley.
Witches and Wizards clamored through the busy street going from shop to shop. Diagon Alley was like nothing Tessa had experienced before. She had been there once as a child but remembered little except the press of people as she was led down the street by her grandparents.
She smiled there was nothing like this in Boston, her home city. There, Wizard shops were tucked in every part of the city amidst other storefronts. The stores looked either deserted or had charms at the doors to discourage non-magical folk from entering.
Diagon Alley, however, was a refreshing change for Tessa. She wouldn't need her Necessity bag to hide her purchases from curious Muggles here.
Fred and George made their way to open their shop. Tessa and the rest headed to Gringott's Wizard Bank to retrieve money for their purchases. Tessa had to exchange her American coin for Galleons, Sickles and Knuts. They left the bank and went first to Florean Fortesque's Ice Cream Parlor.
After having a quick treat, Harry and Ron, followed closely by Moody, went to check out Quality Quidditch Supplies. Molly needed to visit the Apothecary and Arthur decided to go to the Junk Shop to see if any Muggle artifacts were hidden in its bins. Hermione and Ginny accompanied Tessa to Madam Malkin's Robes for all Occasions. They all agreed to meet at Flourish and Blott's in an hour's time.
Ginny and Hermione helped Tessa choose two robes for her new position at Hogwarts. One was a deep forest green which highlighted her eyes. The girls oh'd and ah'd over the sleek design and silver edging of the robe.
The other less formal one Tessa chose was a simple, practical black robe. The girls were less enthusiastic about this one. "I need something that I can actually move freely in for teaching," she said. "Normally, I wouldn't wear one at all. Robes get in the way." Looking at herself in the mirror, she twisted side to side and then twirled making the robe billow out with a satisfying swoosh, "Although I must admit, they do give you a certain flair."
Unbidden a thought came to her and she wondered if Remus would think she looked attractive in this robe. She stopped, squelched that thought and forced herself to put her mind to other things.
The girls then helped her pick out a few other items of clothing which were less Muggle-like. They convinced her that perhaps her wardrobe would be a bit shocking to some of the more conservative professors. She acquiesced pondering the words of her former boss about the old-fashioned ways of the European Wizarding community. Maybe shocking them would be a good idea, she thought.
They met the rest of their group at Flourish and Blott's Bookstore where they proceeded to buy the books they needed for school. A few more stops for quills, ink and sundry other items and they were finished.
Before they left the Alley, they headed to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Tessa was amazed by the array of jokes, tricks, fireworks and charmed items for sale. "You two invented all of these?" she asked.
"Absolutely," George beamed.
"When did you have time to do all this, you just left school this year?" Tessa was drawn to a display of Puking Pastilles. A photograph demonstrating their properties was placed on the shelf next to the display. Tessa put her hand over her mouth.
"Well," Fred drew closer to her looked over her shoulder at his mother and whispered, "When you are sciving off classes, you have a lot of extra time."
Tessa grinned, "You two are geniuses; Geniuses in a very unique way, of course." Fred and George beamed as if that were the greatest compliment they had ever received.
Soon the group was leaving Diagon Alley and again making their way back to Grimmauld Place. Once they returned, the children and Tessa took their purchases to their rooms and then made their way down to the kitchen to help with dinner.
Remus did not join them. Since there was no meeting for the Order that evening, Tessa retired to her room after helping clean up.
Tessa sat in her room. For the first time since before breakfast, she was left alone with her thoughts. Only now solitary in her room, she began to feel the emptiness that was in her heart. She had been so busy today that she was shielded from having to face it. Now she had no choice.
She thought of Remus. When she saw him next what would she say? Would he even give her the chance to say anything?
She thought of the last time she saw his face. It had only been two nights ago but it seemed ages. The image of his care-worn face seared into her mind making tears well up in her eyes. She got up briskly and moved to the desk to try to find something to busy herself with.
There she saw the stack of papers he had given her to help her with her lessons. Saw the unruly scrawl of his writing. She sat down on the chair and this time couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks.
A knock sounded on the door. Tessa straightened and found something with which to wipe her eyes and nose and then said, "Come in."
Ginny and Hermione came into the room. Surprised, Tessa stood and leaned over the desk and pretended to be busy straightening the papers. "Hello, girls, what's the occasion?" she said trying to sound cheerful.
Ginny and Hermione were quiet for a long moment. Tessa turned. They were looking at each other apparently trying to get the other one to start first. "Is there something wrong?"
Hermione gave up first and said, "Professor, I know it's really none of our business and you can tell us to leave if you want, but sometimes it helps to talk about things." She faltered.
At this point and Ginny continued. "You have been really wonderful to us and we thought that maybe you might need someone to talk to. Mum's great and all but sometimes she doesn't, I don't know, get it."
Tessa smiled at the girls. She was much older than they were, but apparently that didn't matter to them. She decided to accept the offer because the spirit which was intended was genuine.
"Girls, this is really wonderful of you, but I really don't know where to begin. Maybe if you ask me some questions, that might help." Tessa thought this was a safe way to start. She didn't want to give them too much personal information; after all, they were just teenagers.
Their questions ranged from, "Why did you and Professor Lupin break up?" to "Why are people so stupid about werewolves?" to "Is it really wonderful to be in love?" to "Why is he being so thick-headed?'
Tessa answered the questions as best she could, being careful to steer clear of anything too private. She hugged the girls when they left. As she closed the door behind them, she smiled. The girls had been right, talking to them had helped.
Tessa woke to a glorious sunny day. It seemed that the Sun itself was conspiring to move her healing process along. She knew she should present herself downstairs today, but the emptiness inside her, which had nothing to do with hunger, made her long to stay in the perceived safety of her room. She closed her eyes, took a few deep breaths and climbed from bed.
Tessa took extra care in dressing that day. Another one of her mother's remedies, Tessa remembered, was to dress in an outfit that made you feel your best. "It's Every woman's magic, Tessa. Muggle and Witch alike need to put on their confidence from the outside sometimes, to help feel it on the inside," her mother had told her.
"Black low rise leather pants and a fitted T-shirt ought to do it", she thought to herself. She picked out the crimson tee with a Brian Froud fairy adorning it. She also chose some silver drop earrings with garnets, a set of silver cuff bracelets, and a silver Celtic triskelion. She finished the look with deep red lipstick.
Satisfied, she left her room. In the hallway, she pointedly straightened her spine, took a deep breath and descended the staircase. Feeling much less confident than she looked, she attempted a smile and walked into the kitchen.
She didn't need to be a Seer to know that Molly had informed everyone to be extra nice and chipper when Tessa appeared downstairs. Smiles greeted her and everyone said, "Morning," in a slightly over bright tone.
She was relieved that Remus was not there. Tessa was still not sure whether she was ready to see him. She was fairly certain she would fall into tears if she did and she desperately did not want that to happen.
It was clear that the Weasley's, Hermione and Harry were all well aware of the situation between Remus and herself. They apparently had been given strict instructions to avoid mentioning him. So when Tessa asked, "Where is Remus?" their faces, wide-eyed with shock, turned to her.
Every one of them then turned to Molly unsure what they were to say. Molly, unconcerned, continued making breakfast and said, "Oh, he left early this morning and I don't expect he will be back until late." Satisfied that she could have a somewhat normal day, Tessa asked what everyone's plans were.
At once the chatter returned, less forcibly cheerful this time. It seemed that everyone, including Mr. Weasley, was heading to Diagon Alley to buy supplies for the school term. Tessa asked if it would be all right if she joined them as she had some things she needed to buy and was greeted with a chorus of positive replies.
"Oh, we were hoping you would be able to come," Hermione exclaimed. Ginny agreed, "We wanted to show you around."
Molly assured her, "We would love to have you along. You could help us keep an eye on this lot."
Fred and George looked pleased. "You can finally come and get a tour of our shop."
After breakfast was cleared, everyone gathered downstairs to start their journey across London to Diagon Alley. It had been decided to use the Underground, since, for security reasons, it was unwise to use the Floo Network. Also for Harry's security, Mad-eye Moody was to accompany the group as well.
Moody grumbled, "It should be at least six well-trained wizards instead of just four." George piped in, "What are we, chopped liver, then?" Moody at looked him for a moment, his revolving magical eye glaring at him, "I said well-trained wizards, didn't I?"
Ron and Harry guffawed while Ginny and Hermione giggled. Mrs. Weasley said, "Well, we will just have to make due with what we have here, won't we then." Fred and George looked askance at their mother. "Thanks for the support there, Mum," Fred said.
With that Molly ushered everyone out of the house.
The group made their way to the Underground station. Everyone had become accustomed to traveling in the Muggle way by this time except Moody. Tessa thought that she never saw anyone look so uncomfortable. The rest of the passengers on the train openly gawked at him. She could see it was taking extreme effort on his part to restrain from removing his bowler and staring at them with his revolving eye.
Tessa was extremely glad to have this diversion. It was true she needed supplies for the school term as well as robes, which she didn't own, as they were required of the professors at Hogwarts. But more than that she felt that she needed to be away from Grimmauld Place where every room, every object served to remind her of Remus.
The reached their stop, emerged onto the street and headed toward the Leaky Cauldron. Going through the pub they reached the entrance to Diagon Alley.
Witches and Wizards clamored through the busy street going from shop to shop. Diagon Alley was like nothing Tessa had experienced before. She had been there once as a child but remembered little except the press of people as she was led down the street by her grandparents.
She smiled there was nothing like this in Boston, her home city. There, Wizard shops were tucked in every part of the city amidst other storefronts. The stores looked either deserted or had charms at the doors to discourage non-magical folk from entering.
Diagon Alley, however, was a refreshing change for Tessa. She wouldn't need her Necessity bag to hide her purchases from curious Muggles here.
Fred and George made their way to open their shop. Tessa and the rest headed to Gringott's Wizard Bank to retrieve money for their purchases. Tessa had to exchange her American coin for Galleons, Sickles and Knuts. They left the bank and went first to Florean Fortesque's Ice Cream Parlor.
After having a quick treat, Harry and Ron, followed closely by Moody, went to check out Quality Quidditch Supplies. Molly needed to visit the Apothecary and Arthur decided to go to the Junk Shop to see if any Muggle artifacts were hidden in its bins. Hermione and Ginny accompanied Tessa to Madam Malkin's Robes for all Occasions. They all agreed to meet at Flourish and Blott's in an hour's time.
Ginny and Hermione helped Tessa choose two robes for her new position at Hogwarts. One was a deep forest green which highlighted her eyes. The girls oh'd and ah'd over the sleek design and silver edging of the robe.
The other less formal one Tessa chose was a simple, practical black robe. The girls were less enthusiastic about this one. "I need something that I can actually move freely in for teaching," she said. "Normally, I wouldn't wear one at all. Robes get in the way." Looking at herself in the mirror, she twisted side to side and then twirled making the robe billow out with a satisfying swoosh, "Although I must admit, they do give you a certain flair."
Unbidden a thought came to her and she wondered if Remus would think she looked attractive in this robe. She stopped, squelched that thought and forced herself to put her mind to other things.
The girls then helped her pick out a few other items of clothing which were less Muggle-like. They convinced her that perhaps her wardrobe would be a bit shocking to some of the more conservative professors. She acquiesced pondering the words of her former boss about the old-fashioned ways of the European Wizarding community. Maybe shocking them would be a good idea, she thought.
They met the rest of their group at Flourish and Blott's Bookstore where they proceeded to buy the books they needed for school. A few more stops for quills, ink and sundry other items and they were finished.
Before they left the Alley, they headed to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Tessa was amazed by the array of jokes, tricks, fireworks and charmed items for sale. "You two invented all of these?" she asked.
"Absolutely," George beamed.
"When did you have time to do all this, you just left school this year?" Tessa was drawn to a display of Puking Pastilles. A photograph demonstrating their properties was placed on the shelf next to the display. Tessa put her hand over her mouth.
"Well," Fred drew closer to her looked over her shoulder at his mother and whispered, "When you are sciving off classes, you have a lot of extra time."
Tessa grinned, "You two are geniuses; Geniuses in a very unique way, of course." Fred and George beamed as if that were the greatest compliment they had ever received.
Soon the group was leaving Diagon Alley and again making their way back to Grimmauld Place. Once they returned, the children and Tessa took their purchases to their rooms and then made their way down to the kitchen to help with dinner.
Remus did not join them. Since there was no meeting for the Order that evening, Tessa retired to her room after helping clean up.
Tessa sat in her room. For the first time since before breakfast, she was left alone with her thoughts. Only now solitary in her room, she began to feel the emptiness that was in her heart. She had been so busy today that she was shielded from having to face it. Now she had no choice.
She thought of Remus. When she saw him next what would she say? Would he even give her the chance to say anything?
She thought of the last time she saw his face. It had only been two nights ago but it seemed ages. The image of his care-worn face seared into her mind making tears well up in her eyes. She got up briskly and moved to the desk to try to find something to busy herself with.
There she saw the stack of papers he had given her to help her with her lessons. Saw the unruly scrawl of his writing. She sat down on the chair and this time couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks.
A knock sounded on the door. Tessa straightened and found something with which to wipe her eyes and nose and then said, "Come in."
Ginny and Hermione came into the room. Surprised, Tessa stood and leaned over the desk and pretended to be busy straightening the papers. "Hello, girls, what's the occasion?" she said trying to sound cheerful.
Ginny and Hermione were quiet for a long moment. Tessa turned. They were looking at each other apparently trying to get the other one to start first. "Is there something wrong?"
Hermione gave up first and said, "Professor, I know it's really none of our business and you can tell us to leave if you want, but sometimes it helps to talk about things." She faltered.
At this point and Ginny continued. "You have been really wonderful to us and we thought that maybe you might need someone to talk to. Mum's great and all but sometimes she doesn't, I don't know, get it."
Tessa smiled at the girls. She was much older than they were, but apparently that didn't matter to them. She decided to accept the offer because the spirit which was intended was genuine.
"Girls, this is really wonderful of you, but I really don't know where to begin. Maybe if you ask me some questions, that might help." Tessa thought this was a safe way to start. She didn't want to give them too much personal information; after all, they were just teenagers.
Their questions ranged from, "Why did you and Professor Lupin break up?" to "Why are people so stupid about werewolves?" to "Is it really wonderful to be in love?" to "Why is he being so thick-headed?'
Tessa answered the questions as best she could, being careful to steer clear of anything too private. She hugged the girls when they left. As she closed the door behind them, she smiled. The girls had been right, talking to them had helped.