Shun Goku WTF! Chapter 10, a Sailor Moon + Street Fighter Crossover fanfic

So Dan, how does it feel to be pampered?

Dan: Never...be...clean...again...

Halibel: Pussy.

Hotaru: And a cute one at that!

Dan:...TToTT...

Round 10.

By the time the scouts could be convinced to release the traumatized Dan, the pink Neko squatting between a sympathetic Artemis and an appalled Luna, the dark purple advisor giving the embarrassed inners a thorough tongue lashing for their actions, and hour had flown by, evident by the chiming of Rei's clock, and her grandfather yelling at her to come earn her keep, albeit in a good-natured manner.

The priestess stood up, mumbling something about seeing to chores, Usagi calling out for her to bring back snacks, earning a glare from raven-haired teen as she shut the shogi door behind her with a snap.

"Well then…" Luna sighed, turning to address the oddly coloured Mau as he cowered next to her consort, looking for all the world like an adult version of Diana…only obviously male "Dan was it? Could you care to explain where you and Gouki have been all this time?"

"Well…when we woke up in the alley we were pretty messed up." Dan admitted, rubbing the back of his head, looking absolutely adorable to the Inners without intending to "I mean, last I checked we were at the World Warrior Tournament in Osaka," Makoto sat up straight at that "and it wasn't until I smelled the Okonomiyaki stand that I figured out we were in Juuban."

'His sense of smell is better than his sense of direction?' the advisors, and the majority of the inners, wondered, beads of sweat sliding down their heads. The sole exception, Usagi merely started to drool at the mention of Okonomiyaki, wondering if she could stop by the stand that had opened up not far from here, the cute chef that ran it sure knew his way around a grill.

"Anyways," Dan continued, shaking his head to clear the cobwebs "After wandering around for a bit we bumped into Hotaru-chan here." He nodded at the girl, who blushed and looked away shyly from the Inners' stares "And after saving her from a taxi, we followed her to the hospital where we saw that Setsuna woman teleport."

"Wait…saved her from a what?" Ami stammered, blinking in confusion as she checked the pink Mau over with her computer. So far he didn't appear to be lying, and the scans definitely matched his DNA as Mau. But a Taxi?

"I had a small attack while crossing the street." Hotaru admitted, earning a look of concern from Chibi-Usa, only to smile at the girl reassuringly "a taxi was heading towards me, but Hibiki-san and Gouki-san kicked it out of the way and saved me."

'KICKED?!' was the group's thought on the matter, turning bulging eyes towards the pink Neko that was, once again, telling Hotaru off for not addressing him as 'sensei'. With his bubblegum pink fur and hyperactive manner, not to mention he wasn't much bigger than Artemis and Luna, they just couldn't see him doing anything to a taxi, other than adorning the grill as it ran him over.

"Anyways," Dan muttered, having reminded Hotaru once again of his title, "Gouki and I followed her taxi back to this house with two hot chicks in it." He missed Luna's disapproving glare at the words, though Artemis cocked an eyebrow coyly "Some blonde chick that dresses like a man and a hottie with blue-green hair."

"Uranus and Neptune!" Ami gasped, clasping a hand to her mouth in shock as she looked between the Mau and Hotaru, who was blinking at her in confusion. 'Well at least the rumors are true.' She deduced, shooting the group covert looks to keep them quiet 'But if Hotaru-chan's memories were sealed away,' she realized, looking warily at the reincarnated senshi of silence 'we have to keep from talking about Mistress 9 or pharaoh 90!'

"Who?" Dan wondered, looking at the blue haired senshi in confusion, his brow furrowed in thought, "Naw, their names were Haruka and Michiru…weren't they, Hotaru-chan?"

"Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama." Hotaru agreed with a nod, earning a bemused look from Minako, a light blush from Ami and Makoto, and a confused blink apiece from the Usagis, present and future "and Setsuna-mama too."

"PLUTO too?!" Makoto hissed in surprise, the tall brunette looking over at Minako and Ami in suspicion. The three senshi wisely decided amongst themselves to avoid spilling any more beans if they could help it in front of Hotaru, even though it seemed she was already involved in it up to her elbows. After all, it wouldn't pay to jump to conclusions where the outers were concerned, stuck up snobs they may be, but they were still Senshi.

"Whoa…so Setsuna-san was into that?" Usagi wondered, a light blush on her cheeks as she held a finger to her lips "Well I suppose she has been alone a long time…"

"Get your mind out of the gutter!" Rei snapped, startling her leader and friend by dumping several bags of chips on her head as she closed the door behind her, having overheard the conversation from outside "Anyways," she muttered, shooting Dan a suspicious look as she reclaimed her seat "bad sense of direction aside, why didn't you contact us sooner?"

"Should I have?" Dan muttered, taking offence at the, admittedly pretty, raven haired priestess' attitude "Gouki and I only followed Hotaru-chan back to her place because he figured we could ask this Setsuna woman to change us back…her being a magic user and all."

"But Setsuna doesn't have the power to change a Mau's form." Artemis insisted, looking over at the pink Mau in confusion "Only Usagi can do that, and she's a long way from mastering her powers still."

"Aw man!" Dan groaned, slumping down in dejection, somehow managing to look absolutely adorable as he did so "You mean I'm stuck like this? How long will it take her to master the spell?"

"It isn't really a spell…" Luna countered, a little disturbed by Dan's antics "But if Usagi diligently goes about mastering her abilities," the advisors and scouts, sans Hotaru, shot the nervous princess a deadpan look "she SHOULD, hypothetically, come into her abilities once she comes of age…mid-twenties to early thirties being my most optimistic bet."

Dan looked at the purple feline, letting her information sink in, before turning to look at the one who held his fate in her grubby, crumb laden hands, as she shoveled chips into her mouth by the handful, before promptly clapping his paws to his face, tears streaming down his cheeks as he howled. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! OYAJIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!"

The Inners, honestly, couldn't find it in them to feel insulted, hell they actually felt for the pink Neko, Luna and Artemis especially. And Usagi, the source of the grief, was too focused on devouring the snacks to care, earning a disgusted look from her future daughter and a confused look from Hotaru, who was stroking her friend/sensei's fur comfortingly.

Though all of them soon went on instant alert as an explosion rocked the room, Rei screaming as part of her roof fell in.

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"SHAKUNETSU!"

A blazing fireball launched itself into the air, the intended targets rolling out of the path before hurling themselves at the source, their talons outstretched and their beaks wide as they crowed their anger at the crouching feline on the roof of their mistress' home.

Gouki had to admit, as he leapt out of the path of yet another aerial assault, these familiars, for there was no way in hell they were normal birds, were quite a challenge in his current body. They were obviously gifted with intelligence, and were purposefully watching out for his projectile attacks, flying high out of reach to avoid his claws, diving in with impressive speed to deliver glancing blows that, were he a normal feline, would have knocked him from the roof.

But Gouki was the Master of Fists, scourge of all forms of martial art, with a lifetime's experience of fighting stronger opponent's than this, and so, even in his diminished form, it was simply a small matter of timing to avoid their strikes, slashing out at them in passing, trailing his claws along their bodies to ward them off, grinning as they crowed at him in retaliation.

"Not bad for a couple of flea-bitten carrion cravers." He called out, smirking at the crows as they came around for another pass, having learned they clearly understood human speech from the way his insults got a rise out of them "But you've delayed me long enough…" he muttered, crouching low and allowing his murderous intent to flare around him like a corona "KAKUGOU!"

He leapt straight at one of the birds, startling it mid-lunge and delivering a fierce paw-strike to the side of its face, knocking it boneless towards the roof, one wing bent at a painful angle from it's body. The second one tried to attack him in Mid-air, crowing angrily at him, the black eyes filled with vengeance, only for Gouki to spin, his body contorting like a wrung towel, allowing the maned Neko to flip over the attack, his fangs latching onto the joint of the familiar's wing, dragging it down to the courtyard amidst a series of squawks and flying feathers.

"Phobos!" a concerned voice cried out, Gouki looking up to espy one of the more developed signatures from earlier, a fetching, raven-haired teen in a Shinto priestess uniform, standing in the doorway, gaping at them in alarm. "Why you no good-!" she yelled, brandishing a broom from out of nowhere and rushing towards him, the cleaning apparatus held above her head, clearly intending to sweep him off her familiar.

Gouki, with near laughable ease, snorted at the girl's audacity, before swiping his paw once, the head of the broom falling off with a clatter before the stunned priestess even began to swing it. Said priestess, upon realization of the fact, stood there gaping at it in shock as Gouki released the squawking Crow, holding it under his paw with a growl.

"Your familiars are poorly trained, girl." He chastised, smirking as the girl, and the group gathered behind her, gaped at him in shock "Were I an enemy, they'd be kibble about now."

"Another Mau?" a blue haired girl with an air of a bookworm about her exclaimed, looking towards Gouki in awe as she typed away on some hand-held gizmo "No doubt about it! His DNA matches the basic Mau profile in the Mercury Computer's database!"

"Gouki!" a familiar voice called out, Luna stepping to the fore with a shocked expression on her face as everyone turned their attention to the purple advisor to Usagi "What on earth are you doing?!"

"This…creature and its partner assaulted me on the roof." The feline master of fists muttered, nodding up at the roof, where Deimos was standing blearily at the edge, one wing broken from the fall "I was merely putting them in their place."

"But they're Mars' familiars!" Luna insisted, looking absolutely scandalized by the larger Mau's crass attitude, and even larger disregard for lives other than his own "You could have killed them!"

"So?" Gouki replied, the look in his eyes causing the group, as a whole to shiver "The strong live, the weak die." He pressed his paw on Phobos' neck, the bird's struggling intensifying "That is the law of Nature."

"Gouki-san!"

Gouki blinked, looking up in surprise to see Hotaru looking at him with fear in her purple eyes, her face desperate as she pushed past a shocked Ami "Don't hurt him! please!"

"You heard her ya mook!" Dan yelled out, running to the fore and imposing himself between Hotaru and Gouki, his eyes wide with anger "Where'd d'ya get off threatening those weaker than you? Is that how the so called 'Master of Fists' behaves?!"

Gouki glared at the pink Neko, wondering how on earth he'd managed to get here before him and sorely tempted to backhand the buffoon for DARING to question his integrity, only to look over at the distraught Hotaru and pausing at her tears.

For some reason, despite all his years as master of Ansatsuken screaming at him to finish the familiar off, the sight of the formerly sickly child's purple eyes looking at him with anguish caused him to hesitate, holding her gaze for a few precious seconds, before releasing the struggling bird and looking away with a snort.

"He's not worth it." he muttered, watching as the priestess scooped up her injured familiar and held him close, uttering soothing words to calm the beast. Snorting again, the maned Neko walked past the silent form of Dan, swatting the buffoon's nose with his tail in passing, before walking up to the main temple, leaping up onto the walkway before glaring over his shoulder at the gaping females "Well? What are you waiting for?!"

Rei sighed as she tied off the last of the bandages, tucking Phobos and Deimos into a nest, wrapped in a warm cloth, to allow them time to heal. The senshi of fire had never seen them hurt this badly, as they'd always managed to distract their opponent's long enough for Rei to come and finish them off. Even Luna and Artemis had had a hard time getting around the crows if they were feeling in the mood for a game of keep away.

And it didn't help that her grandfather was running around the shrine like his robes were on fire, chanting about evil spirits and generally making a pest of himself, plastering wards and talismans everywhere to drive said spirits off.

Everywhere, including on her friends' backsides and breasts, which earned the old man the mother of all beat-downs from the outraged senshi, leaving him bound up like an O-fuda mummy in his room, more specifically in his closet.

Sighing at the antics of her only living relative, the Senshi of fire turned around and made her way back to her room, slipping in and shutting the door behind her, before joining her fellows in a rough semicircle before the maned Mau from earlier, attempting to drill a hole into the culprit with her glare, only for him to look her way, scoff, and promptly turn back to the others, non-plussed.

"If we're done dealing with the pets?" he muttered, smirking as Reis glare intensified, clearly not thinking much of her ability to punish him "I'm certain that…Luna, was it?" he continued at her nod "has informed you about me?"

"You're Gouki…right?" Artemis noted, shivering as the larger Mau regarded him with his crimson stare. He'd never seen a Mau this feral looking before, it was like someone had shrunk a Lion down and painted it red and black.

"I bumped into Luna last night." The maned Mau informed the assembled Senshi, running his blazing eyes over them like a general overlooking the new recruits, and not liking what he saw at all "She explained to me that one of you…this 'Sailor Moon' or whatever you call yourself, has an artifact that will, upon mastering, allow myself and the buffoon here" he gestured towards Dan with his tail "To return to our normal forms."

"Stop calling me a buffoon dammit!" Dan snapped at the maned Neko from his spot in Hotaru's lap, only to grumble as he was ignored, Hotaru petting him to clam him down.

"However…" Gouki continued, ignoring Dan's outburst, and the pink Neko altogether really, and pressing on "From what she has told me, you wont fully awaken to your abilities until something called 'The Big Freeze', which would be the second coming of the ice age."

"SAY WHAT?!" Dan yelped, gaping at the maned Neko in alarm as Hotaru clapped a hand over her mouth "What the hell!? When's that supposed to happen?!"

"Some time during the next thirty years." Gouki replied, some of the scouts flinching at the reminder of just how short their everyday lives would actually be "I however believe that if they can access their full potential sooner, we can avert the catastrophe."

"Wait what?" Ami queried, looking at the maned Neko in surprise, a look shared by many of the scouts, including a skeptical Rei and nervous Usagi "What makes you assume that?"

"And why would we want to?" Rei shot back with a huff, shooting the one who hurt her familiars a glare "Crystal Tokyo is our goal right? Well once Odango Atama ascends she can just fix everything and that'll be that."

"At the cost of over 90% of the earth's population?" Gouki deadpanned, wiping the smug look from the senshi of fire's face, and causing the group, as a whole, to shiver, wondering how on earth they could forget such a thing "Oh yes, a perfect Winter Wonderland Utopia…who WOULDN'T want to rule over a barren block of ice?"

"It wasn't that bad…" Ami muttered, only to trail off mid-sentence, recalling their brief sojourn to the future to defeat prince Demand and Wiseman. She remembered the biting cold of the air, how everything seemed to be covered in crystalline ice. At first she'd thought the Dark Moon clan had been behind it, but now, in hindsight, she wondered just how the 'Big Freeze' had come to pass, or why Neo Queen Serenity hadn't done something sooner to stop it.

"As such." Gouki cut in, startling the group as he leveled a glare at them that caused them to huddle together in fear, despite the fact he was no higher than their ankles, "I shall PERSONALLY see to it that you all start training yourselves properly, I will not stand by and allow the earth to become an ice cube just so you can laze around, dreaming about crushes or whatever it is you've been doing this past while."

"But I don't wanna!" Usagi bawled, absolutely terrified by the look in Gouki's eyes and cuddling close to Rei, who didn't appreciate the fact the blonde's struggles were pulling down her Uwagi revealingly "Luna! Tell him we don't want to!"

"I'm afraid I have to side with Gouki on this one." The advisor shot back with a sigh, earning a look of betrayal from her charge "The sooner you awaken your true abilities the better for all of us, and if we can avert the great freeze doing so…"

The girls fell silent, Usagi's sniffles ceasing somewhat as she saw the reasoning behind her advisor's lack of support. True, the dream of Crystal Tokyo had been a driving force for them all, but the fact that billions of lives had to die to make it kind of tainted the image. "There's no saying Crystal Tokyo won't come to pass if we don't train ourselves." Ami reasoned optimistically, holding up a finger for emphasis "Why, it may even come about sooner as a result!"

"And Chibi-Usa's still here." Minako noted, nodding towards the pink haired princess for emphasis, earning a look of confusion from the girl "If Crystal Tokyo ceased to exist, then so would she!"

"Then it's settled." Gouki cut in, glaring at them all as he leapt off the cushion he'd been perched on and padded towards the shogi door "Meet me outside when you're ready…I wish to test your abilities."

"Uh oh…" Dan muttered, suddenly looking apprehensive as he watched the maned Mau saunter off, his ears flat on his skull "That doesn't sound good no matter how I look at it."

"Hibiki-san?" Hotaru queried, looking down at the trembling pink Neko in concern as he shivered like he'd fallen in a tub of ice water "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine…" Dan assured the girl, to shaken by what he knew was to come to correct her for not referring to him as sensei, "It's just…I've fought with Gouki before remember? He ain't the type that believes in pulling punches."

"Pft? What's the worse he can do?" Usagi scoffed, filled with false confidence at the fact that Luna and Artemis, while a wealth of information, were next to useless in a fight against anything bigger than mice…and even those gave them trouble at times "Claw our skirts?"

BOOM!

The scouts balked, racing outside once again to gape at the sight of Gouki glaring spitfire at a smoldering lump in a singed, battered, priest robe, upper face covered by an unruly mop of hair. "Yuichiro!" Rei gasped, gaping at the sight of the shaggy-haired musician that had taken up lodging at the shrine, and her grandfather's unwitting apprentice in the making. The man looked like he'd been hit head on by her Fire Soul, his eyes swirling dazedly beneath his hair and a dazed grin on his face as he lay in a twitching smoking heap on the floor.

"Insolent whelp." Gouki grumbled, glaring at the bum in annoyance as he padded past him, tail twitching irritably "'Here Kitty-Kitty' my top-knot!" he snorted, flicking dirt onto the man's cooling face with his hind paw "Know your place, fool."

The scouts blinked, looking from Rei's flash-fried, wannabe suitor to their violent, apparently future trainer, and swallowed as one.

Setsuna awoke with a stiff yawn, stretching the kinks out of her body as she rose from her bed. Odd nightmares aside, the senshi of time was feeling rather rejuvenated by her nap, walking down the steps to find Haruka and Michiru sitting in the kitchen, the former sipping coffee, the latter apparently cooking.

"Good evening." She greeted, smiling serenely at the lovers as she entered the kitchen, only blink as Haruka looked up and promptly spewed coffee across the kitchen, Michiru turning round to gape at her in alarm "What?"

"Holy shit that's good stuff." Haruka choked, looking back at her coffee mug in approval, before turning to leer at Setsuna "Or did the hotshot Senshi of time finally decided to relax a little more?"

Pluto was about to question what on earth the nymphomaniac was on about when she felt a distinct chill in the air, looking down to find she was currently garbed in her birthday suit, and little else.

"So you're the commando type huh?" Haruka chuckled, quirking an eyebrow at the mortified senshi as she took in the sight before her eagerly. After all, when else would she be able to enjoy such a show when Pluto was usually off managing the timeline?

"Haruka…" Michiru chided, though she did cast the odd appreciative glance at Setsuna's shapely figure. Simply because she wasn't always raring to go didn't mean she couldn't appreciate a good show.

"Excuse me!" Setsuna uttered, a little less firmly than she would have liked, before promptly teleporting back to her room, staring in confusion at the shredded remains of the nightdress she could've sworn she'd been wearing the night before. 'Damn nightmares…' the green haired senshi muttered, summoning her garnet rod, instantly decked out in her senshi uniform as world distorted around her, bringing her once again to the time gates.

"I think a little correction is in order.' She muttered, stepping towards the gates with a purposeful frown as she focused on the moment she was about to leave her room. After all, she had an image to maintain, and Haruka's tongue tended to wag at certain times.

However, such thoughts were soon brought to an abrupt, screeching halt as she pulled up short in front of her precious time gates, her eyes widening in horror as the garnet rod dropped from nerveless fingers.

The time gates stood still, tall and imposing as the first day she'd laid eyes on them, their marble doors as untouched by time as she was, and would likely remain that way after she finally surrendered to the cosmic dust, just as she had left them last night.

But unlike last night, where they had presented her with a swirling vortex of timelines from which to choose from, as was their duty, the marble doors of the gates were closed, and despite all her urgings, all her commanding, all her pleading, they would not respond to her voice, nor her magic.

The Gates of Time were sealed.

DUN-DUN-DUUUUUN!!!!

Now there's a situation that nobody saw coming! Let's see how Setsuna tries to manipulate events WITHOUT her Deus Ex Machina device.

That said, omake time!

Pretty Shotokan Fighter Hotaru VI!

"DOSEI KIIIICK!"

Yet another monster fell as Justice Fighter Dosei delivered a punishing screw kick (Cammy's cannon thrust) to the chest, promptly drilling through it and reducing the youma to stardust, earning a cheer from the crowd as she landed on her feet.

However, despite the cheers, Dosei's face bore a complex expression as she looked over the dust with a hint of...disappointment, on her face, her gloved hands clenching tightly before she leapt into the air and away, just as the Senshi finally showed up.

"Worry not citizens!" Sailor Moon cried out, going through an intricate series of poses before a starry background "Your beloved heroes are here to save-!"

"Oh, Dosei-chan already took care of the monster." A random cameraman pointed out, the Senshi stumbling at his words, before gaping at him in exasperated disbelief "Yeah, she turned up, like, ten minutes ago and laid the smack down. she just left actually."

"AGAIN!" Mars snarled, the red-clad senshi actually ripping out her precious ebony hair in frustration "That purple cld skank beat us to the action AGAIN! How does she keep doing that?!"

"It does seem rather unusual that she get's here so fast..." Mercury noted with a frown "I mean we WERE on the otherside of town when we detected the monster, but what are the odds of her being here to sort it out?"

"Maybe she patrols the area full time?" Jupiter reasoned, holding up a finger for emphasis "I mean, there haven't been any new transfer students at any of the schools, and she looks about our age."

Sailor Moon, of course, was not paying attention to the conversation, as she was too busy trying to ward off a hoard of gushing otaku, using her Moon Sceptre as in impromptu club if they got too touchy feely.

"Hey! Dosei-chan's on TV!" Someone shouted from the sidelines, the senshi whipping round to find a group of onlookers lined up outside a TV store window, which was displaying a live news report.

"Tell us, Justice Fighter Dosei," the reporter, who apparently had led his crew onto the roof of a skyscraper in the window washers rig to question the woman "Where did you come from? Why do you fight Youma?"

"Where ever there is injustice, I will be there to set it right!" Dosei replied, clenching her fist before her, unintentionally causing her breasts to bounce under her purple leotard "As for why I Fight, would you not do the same if you could?"

"Erm...not in THAt outfit I wouldn't." the reporter chuckled, earning a brief laugh from the camera crew and Dosei herself, who patted the bespectacled man on the shoulder "So tell me, what is the hardest part of fighting Youma?"

"Nothing really..." Dosei sighed, holding a hand to her cheek, "Although...I know it's selfish, but I just wish the enemies were a little Stronger..." she sighed, heedless of their looks of amazement "it's so BORING to have to keep holding back..."

"Holding...back...?" Mercury repeated, turning her head along with everyone else to gape the street behind them, which had been literally torn apart by the purple clad fighter's blows "Auuuuu..."

Several miles away, in a n all girl's dormitory run by an immortal Toudai aspirant, a little, blue-haired middle-schooler sneezed.

If you have any ideas for omake's, feel free to send them in!

R&R!!