Love Her....What?
May 2006
Note- I do know that Carl Buford helped Derek with his football but the dream has basketball because of thinking about being at the youth center.
Chapter Ten
Derek woke up in the middle of the night with a nightmare. He bolted up in bed and found that Penelope wasn't there. His mouth was dry and his mind hazy. Remnants of his dream clung to him: a lake, Buford, a basketball bouncing, a gun in his hands, his mother screaming.
None of it went together and yet in a strange way it all did. A way he didn't want to think about.
He needed a drink of water and wanted to know what his baby girl was up to. He could hear the TV in the other room so he figured she couldn't sleep either tonight. He slipped on pajama pants and headed out there.
Derek found her sitting on the couch typing on her laptop. The TV was on but playing an informericial. It was soft, obviously she had not wanted to disturb him.
"Hey, baby girl."
She startled. "Oh! Hey. Why are you up?" She turned to look at him, studied him for a moment and then asked "You okay?"
"Yeah," he said, not wanting to get into talking about his nightmare. "I'm gonna get some water." He went to the bathroom. When he came out he walked over to her. "What you up to?"
"Playing this computer game I'm addicted to. I always play when I can't sleep."
"I didn't wear you out good enough? I must be slipping."
"You're far from losing your touch, lover. I just couldn't shut my mind off. I took a long, hot bath but it didn't help any so I thought I'd try this."
"What's up with this game? How do you play?"
As she explained he placed his chin on her shoulder and snaked his arm around her waist. He felt more relaxed now that he was out here with her instead of in bed alone.
He tried to tell himself that any of his friends could help him get his mind off his nightmares but the truth was that Penelope was magic for him. He didn't know why. He just knew it was true. And he liked it.
Still commitment scared him. He might suck at it and he wouldn't want to build up her hopes- this woman who believed he was a superman who could do anything- only to let her crash to the ground later.
She was his biggest supporter and he needed her in his life more than he could ever explain in words. Penelope thought Derek was a stud and a brave, noble modern day knight. Plus a good friend who she could always count on. He knew he wasn't half as amazing as all that she saw when she looked at him.
Yet he needed her to keep seeing that. Keep building him up. Keep making him believe in himself and them and the future.
He needed her now more than ever. Because one bad nightmare was enough to ruin a week for him- before his Goddess was around to make it all better. Two years before she had come into his world and started to block out the dark with her sunshine.
Now as he rested his chin on her shoulder he knew that keeping his sunshine in his life should really be his top priority. If not she'd look at him like all his ex-lovers did: as a jerk who walked away.
Not her Hot Stuff that could save the world from all the evil in it.
(She thinks I walk on water
She thinks I hung the moon
She tells me every morning"They just don't make men like you."
-
She thinks I've got it together.
She swears I'm as tough as nails.-
I don't have the heart to tell her
that she don't know me that well.
-
She don't know how much I need her.
She don't know I'd fall apart
without her kiss,
without her touch,
without her faithful, loving arms.
-
She don't know
that it's all about her.
She don't know
I can't live without her.
-
She's my world.
She's my everything
and she thinks she needs me.
-
Sometimes she cries on my shoulder
when she's lying next to me
but she don't know
that when I hold her
that she's really holding me.
Holding me.
-
She don't know how much I need her
She don't know I'd fall apart
without her kiss,
without her touch
without her faithful, loving arms.
-
She don't know
that it's all about her!
She don't know
I can't live without her!
-
She's my world.
She's my everything
and she thinks she needs me...
Yeah, and the funny thing is she thinks she's the lucky one) (Andy Griggs)
XXXXXXXXXX
Penelope couldn't sleep because she knew she was in love with Derek. The moment he looked into her eyes and said "There's a reason I love you," then he thrust inside of her, filling her to the hilt and slowly taking her into ecstacy, she realized there was no use denying it anymore.
Hearing I love you fall from his lips as they made love was a like a dream come true.
Not that she thought he meant it in the way she wanted or, even if he did, that he could really commit to her for months or even years. Long enough to know if they should always be like this together, this perfect and sensual way that she loved, or if they were meant to be flirty and fun friends.
Derek hated relationships and being vulnerable. She would be fighting a losing battle to even try and take him there. Knowing that she got out of bed after he fell asleep, sent an text to JJ to check in again and then she took a long bath, reading a book she bought at the airport.
Next she hopped on her computer and got lost in her fantasy world where things made sense. It helped a little to ease her mind but not nearly enough to get her mind shut down so she could rest. Her thoughts raced with worries over how her and Derek would be when they went back to the BAU.
After he came out of the bedroom and joined her she relaxed more. It felt good and right to have his arm around her waist and his head on her shoulder. They played her game for three hours till the sun started to come up.
He yawned. "What do you say, baby girl? Will you watch the sunrise with me?"
"We better quickly get dressed before we miss it."
"No need, sweetness. Lets just watch from our patio."
She looked at herself. She wore her FBI shirt that went to her knees. "Like this?"
He had on pajama pants. "Come on. Nobody is up right now anyway. Besides if they do see us they'll just be jealous that we're so hot and obviously have a fantastic sex life and they got bupkiss."
She let him drag her to the patio, playfully pulling on her arm. "This mysterious they you mention could be hot and have a smoking sex life too."
"As hot as you? Not too likely, woman! Now come here." He lay on the lounge chair and pulled her on there next to him, so she was stretched out along his body.
Derek intertwined their fingers. They stay there silent for a while as the sun rose. When her eyes moved to meet his again she noticed he was sleeping. She just lay with him for a little while till she heard people moving in the room closest by. Not wanting to get caught outside half naked and be embarrassed, even though what she had on covered more than any bathing suit, she shook him away.
"Baby, lets go to bed."
He woke up a little and grinned slightly. "'Kay," he muttered.
She got up and took his hand. They went inside. She locked the patio door and drew the curtains. They stumbled to the bedroom, her bleary eyed by now and him half asleep, and fell into bed. She got beneath the sheet and lay on her side.
Penelope was almost asleep when Derek spooned her body and whispered "Love you, baby girl."
Her breath hitched. She looked over her shoulder but he was sound asleep. Rolling over to face him she snuggled close to him and fell to sleep with tears steaming down her face.