Unfading Outtakes

by awalkerlifeforme

Edited chapters with explicit content between Eric and Alex (OC) from my Divergent story, Unfading.

10. Chapter 10

Two weeks had gone by faster than I had thought was possible. It felt like they had flown by. It felt like it had only been a day or two, not fourteen. It was like my clock was running down and the universe was laughing at me. Like it wanted to see my life come to a screeching halt. And it was about to.

Lauren's fear landscape was nothing more than a little blip in my day. Everyone seemed to hate it and think that it ate up too much of their precious time, which it kind of did. They had no idea how precious time really was. They had no idea that the hour and a half I'd spent practicing Lauren's fear landscape over the past two weeks might have been some of the last few hours that I'd spend on my own free will, and I didn't intend to tell them that.

But I was trying my hardest not to dwell on the ending of this story. I was trying to focus on just how well I had done during initiation. I was trying to think about how I had proven everyone wrong. The Amity transfer that people thought would die in the first week was going to come in first place at the end of initiation.

The shortest time that I had gotten attempting Lauren's fear landscape was seven minutes. The next shortest time from someone other than my friends was eleven minutes, from Dante. He had always been pretty good with the mental part of training. My friends had all shifted in the rankings slightly but I was still at the top of the board. Tonight was the last night of the fear landscape practice runs. I hadn't gone today. I'd spent the entire day in the training room. Tomorrow was the final fear landscape. It would be the only time that I would ever see my own fear landscape.

Tomorrow was a big day for more than that. There were plenty of other things that I had to take care of. Tomorrow might be the day that my life was going to end. Tomorrow was the day that I was going to have to face off against Jeanine Matthews. It was the day that I was sure was never really going to come. But it was almost here and I was almost out of time. And, as much as I didn't want to admit it, I was afraid. I had been trying to deny it for months but I was afraid. Now I was finally able to admit it.

Unfortunately there was nothing that I could do. There was no way to get out of all of this. All that was left to do was to play along with Four. That was the only thing that I could do. The only thing that I could do was hope that my plan was going to work. It was by no means a good one but it was more than we had come up with in weeks. I could just hope that Four would stay by my side when I finally came clean to him about my awful plan.

The plan had taken me the entirety of the past two weeks but it wasn't much for the time that I'd had to figure things out. At least it was more of a plan then Four had, which was close to nothing. I hadn't heard anything from Max or Jeanine. I supposed that it was a good thing. I was nervous enough as the days counted down. Anything from Max or Jeanine would make me sure to take my hand off while practicing with the knives.

Other than a few strange looks I had barely noticed Max since he had brought me into his office for a meeting. I was wondering if they thought that I was too afraid and wouldn't show up at Erudite tonight. Or maybe they thought that it was because I was afraid that something would happen if I didn't come. They would be right. I wasn't willing to risk seeing what would happen if I didn't show up. I would hate for something to happen to my family's life or anyone else's.

Once more my mind went drifting back to Eric and everything that was going to happen between us. Things were good for right now but I wasn't sure what was going to happen once he learned that I was still lying to him. I didn't want him to hate me once he found out that I was the one that Jeanine wanted to talk or show something. Either way Eric had been good to me for the past few weeks. He had been good about keeping my secret and not hanging it over my head.

It had only come up in conversation a few times and each time it was usually a joke pointed at me. He had clearly come to the conclusion that my being Divergent was only dangerous for one person. Myself. It made my heart swell that he only wanted to protect me. But I wished that he didn't have to. It shouldn't be his job. It didn't really matter. I knew that if I survived tomorrow I wasn't ever going to be with Eric. Jeanine would never let me.

I'd spent most of my nights with Eric lately and it didn't seem that it had bothered him one bit. He probably thought that it was because I liked his bed more than my own, which was true, but it was mostly because the end of our relationship had been pushed back another two weeks. But the end was still in sight.

It turned out that I had only spent about three nights a week at the dorms with my friends. They had simply been teasing me that I was enjoying spending time with 'my man.' Heather was still the only one that knew about Eric. I would eventually tell my friends that Eric and I had been a thing. Hell, I'd love to see the reaction I'd get from that. But that day was still a ways away.

Completely different from my personal relationships there was also the rankings. They had shifted slightly over the past two weeks while everyone was practicing the fear landscapes and going back to physical training on their off days. Some of the changes were for the better and others made me want to tear my hair out. I was still in the number one spot and Aaron was still trailing me. Dante was behind him, having pushed Jackson back into the fourth spot.

Draven, Michael, Greg, Jax, Buck, and Heather were rounding out the top ten. I was glad to see that Heather was still safe from Fence duty. Jet, Cole, Lisa, Darren, Serena, Sara, Jason, and Jade were following them. Colt was behind Jade, unfortunately safe from being thrown out of Dauntless. As long as he didn't screw up his fear landscape he would be staying, but in a low ranking. He would at least be on Fence duty most of the time. Aria and Hunter were set to be leaving Dauntless tomorrow afternoon.

At least one person I hated would be leaving. Even with two people leaving tomorrow, and so close to the end, the party was in full swing. Everyone was celebrating the end to Dauntless initiation. Even though there was still one day left people were thrilled that after a long eight months training would be ready to end. Everyone was taking the opportunity to celebrate. Even those that never partied were down in the Pit. Like Four.

After all, these eight months had seemed like they were never going to end. But it was here now and there was only one more thing that I needed to do before the final fear landscape. Tonight I would be going to Candor with Four. I knew the one thing that I needed to grab. Maybe it was the one thing in my plan that was a good idea. Or maybe it would end up fucking me over. Either way, we were leaving in a few minutes.

Despite the fact that it had been a good day so far I knew that it was time to get to work. There was only so long that I could enjoy myself. That came with the territory of being a Divergent. We never seemed to be able to enjoy ourselves. I leaned over to talk to Heather, who was dancing at my side. We had been dancing for most of the night and my thighs were killing me. It was mostly us trying to enjoy our last moments as initiates. At least, that was what Heather was doing. I was enjoying what very well might be my last night of freedom and the last few moments that I had with my friends.

"Hey, I'm heading out for the night," I mumbled to Heather.

She turned to me and said, "I figured you'd be leaving soon."

"I'll see you in the morning. Tell everyone else that I said goodnight."

They had all scattered long ago. Some had gone with girls that they were hoping to get lucky with, others were hanging with the Dauntless born, some were in the fighting pits, and the rest were all hanging around the bar. It was the first night that I'd really seen them cut completely loose.

"I will," she said.

"Thanks."

I smiled at her and walked over to the edge of the Pit. She was on my heels as we marched over to the edge of the dance floor. I could see Four making his way slowly out of the Wolf's Den too. It was a good thing that Eric seemed to be in the middle of a meeting. He was speaking with the other leaders frantically which meant that he wasn't paying a lick of attention to me. As Heather and I made it to the edge of the Pit I saw that Four was standing a few meters away from me.

"Tell Eric I said hello," Heather teased.

I laughed and gave her a soft shove. She still got a kick out of making fun of me with Eric. "I'm sure that he says hello back," I said, winking at her.

Heather laughed and I shook my head. We both knew that Eric couldn't have cared less about her or any of the other initiates. He really couldn't care much about any of us. With me being the exception. I wrapped Heather into a quick hug before pulling away. I turned to leave and walked out of the Pit quickly, ensuring that Eric didn't see me slipping away. That would be a tough one to explain. I rounded the corner and smiled when I saw Four waiting for me. He was fast.

"Ready?" Four asked.

"Ready. To Candor we go," I said.

Four nodded and we walked together as we headed through the sub-levels of Dauntless. We were keeping a tiny bit of distance between us as we headed for the back entrance of Dauntless. The last thing that we needed was people thinking that there was something going on between the two of us. Like I didn't have enough problems. We walked out to the back of Dauntless and headed straight for the train tracks. I knew the schedule by heart; we had to wait a few moments for the train to come.

We stood together and I noticed that we were both shifting slightly as we waited for the train. It rounded the corner after a few minutes. Four and I began to sprint to catch it. I let Four catch the train first and he hung off of the edge of the car, holding a hand out to me. I grabbed it and let him pull me into the car. It was nicer than Eric, who had tripped me the last time that I was jumping into the train. He walked in after me and we both headed over to take a seat against the other wall.

My hands were shaking slightly and I wasn't quite sure why. I took in a few deep breaths, trying to shake out the nerves in my arms. My hands were shaking as I folded them over my thighs. If this was how I was acting on the way to Candor I wasn't ready to see how I was going to act on the way to Erudite tomorrow.

"Alex?" Four called.

"Yeah?"

He was staring sidelong at me. There was something almost weak in his eyes. I assumed that he had never felt the need to protect someone the way that he protected me before. His eyes were filled with worry but his face was stone cold. It was easy to see that he was getting more and more concerned for me the closer that we got to tomorrow night.

"What is it that you want to do in Candor? You said that you had a plan. Are you finally going to tell me what that is?" he asked.

It had completely slipped my mind that I had never told Four why I wanted to go to Candor with him. In fact, I hadn't really told him much of anything. I was just thrilled that he was sticking with me, no matter what. Even if I told him that I wanted to jump off of a cliff he would be there. That was the type of person that he was.

"That compliance serum," I said.

It was easy to see the shocked look that fell over Four's face. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"You were saying that Candor is one of the few places that have it other than Erudite. I need a vial of it. Just one. I promise that I have a plan. It's not the best plan but it is something. I'll tell you what it is once I have the vial. I just need you to keep Jack Kang busy until I can get it," I explained.

My plan with the compliance serum was a terrible plan but it was better than the first few things that I had come up with. Although I was sure that Eric was going to kill me for it. I knew that he was going to be there and the moment that he realized what my plan was, I knew that he was going to lose his mind. Four probably would too.

"I can do that," Four said.

"Thanks."

"Just come wait outside the office once you have it. Make sure that no one sees you with it. They'll take it and bring you straight to Jeanine if they see you with it."

I was not planning on going to see Jeanine early. "Wouldn't that be a shame? Someone taking me to Jeanine a day early," I muttered to myself.

Four laughed and I smiled slightly, leaning into him. I was nervously braiding my hair as I pressed my back up against his chest and dropped my head back onto his shoulder. In the meantime Four was drawing the Dauntless fire symbol onto my upper back with his fingers. I figured that it was a nervous habit. I was afraid of what was going to happen tomorrow. And I knew that even though Four wasn't going to admit it, he was nervous too.

We both hated to admit it but we were afraid of Jeanine. She was the silent type of scary. In a fist fight I knew that we could both beat her. But she had the power and wits against us. It made for an extremely unfair fight. It wasn't that I was quite afraid to die but I was afraid that I was going to be powerless to stop a war that I had seen coming for months.

"Four?" I called.

He looked up from his lap to look over at me. "Yeah?"

"Thank you. For everything," I said softly.

His fingers stopped moving across my back as he let them fall over into my lap so that he could grab my hands. They were tight around my own and I dropped my head onto his shoulder. He would never make me feel the same way that Eric did, but I needed Four. I loved him. We were like family now and I knew that we always would be.

"Don't thank me. Not yet," he said.

"Why not?" I asked .

"I haven't done anything for you yet."

He didn't understand that he had done everything for me. The moment that he kept my secret was him doing something for me. "Trust me when I say that you have," I said.

"I'm going to try my hardest to help you tomorrow, but I'm not sure how much I can do."

Four had already done more for me than he would ever realize. I shook my head at him. "It doesn't matter. Not to me. All that matters to me is that you're trying," I said.

He smiled at me. Four was a good man. "And I'll continue trying until I can't," Four said determinedly.

I wished that this wasn't happening. I wanted Four to be with a nice girl that would love him. I didn't want him to have to fight a war that we were destined to lose. "Even if I die tomorrow or get put on display for the public to goggle at, all that matters is that you're here with me. You're doing more for me than you ever had to. Thank you, Four. You're a good man. You deserve better than this," I said.

He merely shrugged his shoulders and I leaned forward to look at him. "Maybe. But this is what I want," he said.

His arm wrapped back around my shoulders once more and I leaned into him, folding my feet underneath me. "Thank you," I whispered.

"I want to stop this war. I want to help you. I want to do something good in this world. And if that means spending my last moments at your side, fighting Jeanine, I'll be happy to say that that's the way that I went down fighting," he said.

His face was deadly serious and I couldn't help but to smile slightly. If it was the last thing that I was going to do I was going to make sure that Four was not going to go down fighting. He deserved to make it out of this mess. I could go down, but the last thing that I wanted was for Four to come with me.

"Thank you, Four," I told him softly.

No matter what he thought about all of this - whether or not he deserved the thanks - I was going to thank him. He had no clue that he had really helped me more than anyone else had. In fact, he had even more than Eric had. Four snorted and I shook my head at him.

"I'm serious. Thank you. For everything. No matter what you think you have or haven't done, thank you," I said.

He nodded at me but I knew that he really didn't believe that he had done anything. He probably would never think that he had helped me. "You're welcome, Alex."

"I would have lost my mind without you."

His head perked up slightly at my words and he looked over at me. "Really?" he asked.

He looked more than a little shocked that I had told him that. "Of course," I said with a small smile.

"Just so you know, I feel like I'm losing my mind whenever I'm with you," he said.

We both laughed loudly as I shook my head at him. I gave him a soft shove and shook my head irritably when it did absolutely nothing. He was stronger than me. Like Eric, my physical assaults were pretty much useless. Four looked up out of the door to the train and stood from his seat.

"We're here. Come on," he said.

It was already dark out when Four gave me a hand up. I took it and walked with him towards the edge of the train doors. I could see the Merciless Mart passing us by and I couldn't help but to wonder whether or not Iris and Florian called it that too. I was pretty sure that Candor didn't call it what the rest of us did. I let Four jump out first and watched as he stuck the landing. It was like he had glue on the bottom of his boots. I followed and tucked into a roll when I felt my legs give out from the momentum. Four grabbed me as I came back up, keeping me from keeling forward.

We took no time before heading straight into the Candor building and walked into the main lobby. It was extremely boring and a little eerie too. The air was cool to the point that it made Dauntless seem like it was constantly heated. And Dauntless was freezing with the exception of the training room. I supposed that was why everyone in the main lobby was wearing long pants and jackets. They were all looking over at Four and I like we were the dirt on the bottom of their shoes.

They probably thought that we were. Although Candor was probably the most similar to Dauntless, they still didn't like us. They were colder and more calculating. My knee length pants and tight tank top which rode up slightly on my stomach suddenly made me feel extremely under-dressed as I glanced over at a woman in a sharp white suit. She clearly didn't like Four and I being here.

The lobby was horrifically tall, leaving the main area open all the way to the top of the skyscraper. It almost made me a little sick. There only other thing there was a reception desk. There were also two elevators that I assumed would take someone to the rest of the Faction. There weren't even people milling around. Other than Four, myself, and the receptionist, there were only another two or three people around. They all seemed to be in a hurry to go somewhere else. The strangest thing was that no one bothered to say anything to us. Even in Erudite someone had said something to us.

Of course I had been with Eric at the time and even though Four had a powerful air about him, Eric was much more imposing. Plus most people knew that Eric was a leader and they knew that he wasn't someone to trifle with. I would rather have Four angry with me than Eric.

"What do you need?" a woman call ed from behind us.

Four and I turned back to see a woman with a clipboard standing a few feet from us. It looked like she wanted nothing to do with us. She was wearing a tight white skirt and a slightly loose black button down shirt. If she would smile I was sure that she would have been extremely pretty. But she had her dark hair pulled back in a tight bun and was staring at us with a stern expression. The glasses that were raised high on her nose made her looked extremely irritated. It seemed to be a common trait in Candor.

While I stared awkwardly at the woman and glanced over to scrutinize her, thankfully Four spoke up. "My name is Four," he told her, holding out his hand for her to shake. She looked horrified at the prospect of touching him but she did give him a quick shake before retracting her hand. She looked more than relieved that I didn't put out my hand for her to shake. "I'm a trainer and surveillance manager in Dauntless. I have an appointment with Jack Kang right now."

"Yes. We have you on the schedule. You are?" she asked me.

My voice lodged itself in my throat. "This is one of my initiates. I've brought her here on orders from Max," Four said, thankfully thinking more than I was.

"For?" the woman asked.

I fought to steel my face, hoping that I wasn't going to give anything away. She had the capability to pick out our lies. "She needs to head downstairs," Four explained.

I assumed that that was where the compliance serum was stored. How Four knew that I was pretty sure that I didn't want to know. He had to have done something illegal to get that knowledge. The woman stared for a moment before turning back to Four. She still looked less than impressed with us.

"Right. Jack Kang is waiting for you. I take it you know where the office is?" she asked Four.

"I do," he said.

"Do you know where you're going?" the woman asked me.

I froze in my spot, half pleased that she hadn't picked out my lie and half afraid of what to say now. "Yes," I mumbled.

The woman nodded back at me before turning. "Head straight there and do not touch anything or speak with anyone. People are busy," she snapped, storming away.

That was the good thing about Candor. They were always so busy that sometimes they couldn't see the lies that were right in front of them. I watched as the woman stormed away, staring at her clipboard like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. My eyebrows were nearly up to my forehead. She had been everything and nothing like I was anticipating a Candor member to be like. I hoped that Iris and Florian hadn't become like that.

"She's pleasant," I mumbled.

Four laughed and nodded, leading me down the first hall to an elevator. "That's Candor for you," he said.

Jack Kang's office was on the top floor. Iris had mentioned it when she and Florian had been in Dauntless. "Alright, go. I need the distraction," I said, knowing that I needed the time to go and grab the serum.

Before I could walk through the hall Four reached out and caught my arm. "Alex," he called.

"What?"

"Do you know where you're going?" he asked.

"Yeah."

But that was a complete lie. I really had no idea where I was going but I did know that it was down in the sub-levels. I was sure that there weren't too many doors that I would have to look through. Hopefully it would be easy enough to find. I would just have to be careful not to get caught by anyone.

"I don't know where they keep the compliance serum but I think that it's in the sub-levels somewhere. Just go fast," he said.

"Got it."

"You have an hour at the most, okay?"

"Okay, Four. I got it. Just go," I said.

Hopefully I would be done within twenty-five minutes to be safe. The last thing I wanted was someone to catch either one of us and report us to Jeanine. "Alright, I'm going to be out of here in about an hour. Be ready to go. Meet me back here when you're done," he said.

"No problem," I said, giving him a gentle shove towards the elevator. I pressed the button for him to get him to leave. "Go. Now. I can figure this out."

The elevator gave a soft ding. The doors slid open and Four nodded at me before disappearing into it. The doors quickly closed and I watched for a moment, the numbers ticking upwards on the electric reader above the doors. Once it hit the fifth floor I turned and walked away, following the signs towards the staircase. I didn't want to use the elevator just in case someone saw me and asked what I was doing. It was pretty obvious that I was Dauntless and didn't belong here. Even if it took me longer, I was going to be sticking to the back hallways.

As I opened the door to the staircase I let out a breath when no alarm went off. I knew that a few of the staircases in Dauntless were armed with alarms. Thankfully Candor was not quite so mistrusting. As I descended over the steps and headed to the sub-levels, which seemed to be a few floors below the main lobby, I started to think back to just how I was going to be able to sneak out a vial of the serum. I was sure that it was going to be guarded. They would have to be morons if they didn't keep it guarded.

Or maybe the doors had some high security lock on them. Either way, it was not going to be easy to get into the room. I would have to find the room first. I had no clue what it looked like and no clue where it was. I could only hope that an hour was enough time to find it. The woman out in the lobby was going to kick my ass back over to Dauntless if she found me snooping in the serum room. If I could manage to find it.

The door that I came up on had a large S printed on the walls but I could tell that a few floors were still below us. I groaned softly. It was nearly impossible to figure out. I decided to go give it a chance as I walked over to the door and threw it open. I walked out into the hall and froze when I saw that there must have been at least thirty doors on this single hall. This was going to take me all night. But I had to find where these serums were. It was vital to my plan.

"Alex?" a soft voice called.

Slightly surprised from the call, I turned back on instinct to see a pair that was extremely familiar to me. I had nearly forgotten that there was a good chance that I might see them here. I guess I had thought that they would be in their rooms. I turned back to them and smiled softly.

"Alex!" Iris yelled again.

"Iris! Florian!" I chirped happily.

She and Florian ran up to greet me and I laughed softly as they wrapped me into their arms. "I'm so glad to see you! What are you doing here?" Iris asked.

It was almost like we were back in Amity. That was the way that we had all acted together when we were in Amity together and hadn't seen each other for a few days. The thing about Amity was that working in the fields would keep you busy for days at a time. Amity wasn't like Dauntless where you partied with your friends at night, despite how hard you had been working during the day.

"Sad to see me?" I teased.

"It's not that we don't love you. It's good to see you again. But what are you doing in Candor?" Florian asked.

Iris shoved him gently and I smiled at the two of them. I was glad that after a few months together they still seemed to be doing well. "Business," I said flippantly.

"We heard a rumor that two of you were here today," Florian continued.

My eyes widened. How had that gotten around so fast? I supposed that news traveled around Candor faster than I had thought that it did. Or maybe we had already been here for longer than I had thought that we were. That meant that my hour was dwindling fast. I didn't want to get Four in trouble too. If I got in trouble that was one thing, but I was trying to keep Four out of trouble for as long as possible. I didn't want him to be put in danger. Jeanine could easily find out that he was one too.

"We're that important?" I asked.

"It's pretty rare to have two Dauntless members in Candor," Iris explained.

"I'm here with my trainer. Four. He had to go to a meeting with Jack Kang and I needed to pick something up," I said awkwardly.

"What do you need to pick up?" Iris asked.

I had to be careful. I didn't want anyone to know that I was close to them too. "Listen, I can't talk. I gotta go," I said quickly.

Turning on my heel, I went to leave the narrow hallway and continue my hunt for the compliance serum. "Alex!" Iris called.

She jumped after me and ran to catch my arm and pull me back. "Iris, come on, I gotta go," I said.

I could have easily pushed her off and continued to walk but Iris was my friend. I wasn't going to hurt her. "Wait a second. You just got here. We haven't seen you in months. Normally we're only going to be able to see each other once a year. We can talk for a while. Catch up," Iris said brightly.

My heart caved slightly at her words and I shook my head. I wished that I had more time with them. "I can't. I gotta go," I said.

"We'll come with you wherever you're going," she offered.

There was no way that they could come with me. I had already gotten Four involved in my stupid plan, there was no way that I was dragging Iris and Florian into this too. At least Four could defend himself from someone else. As much as I loved my two oldest friends, they were weak. They could never defend themselves.

"I - I can't hang out with you guys. I'm sorry," I told them.

The wavering in my voice made the smiles drop off of both of their faces as they stared at me suspiciously. "What?" Florian asked.

"It's serious, what I'm taking care of. I love you guys and I'm glad to see you again but I need to take care of this. I can't drag you both into it," I said, hoping that they wouldn't want to drag this conversation out.

I turned to leave again and this time it was Florian that came after me. "Alex!" he yelled, grabbing onto my wrist similarly to the way that Iris had.

His grip was stronger than hers but I knew that I would still be able to get out of it. I let him hang on to me. "Florian. Please let go," I said softly.

"You can't say something like that and then just leave us. What's going on? Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine," I said weakly.

They were Candor. They could see right through me and being my best friends only made it easier. "Come on, Alex, we're your best friends. We're family. Maybe we aren't together all of the time anymore but that doesn't mean that we don't love you. That's never going to mean that we don't love you. We're here for you. We always will be," Florian said.

It was like my heart was shattering into a million pieces. I shook my head at him and pried my arm away. His grip had loosened slightly and I sighed. It was nothing like the way that Eric or Four would grab me if they were trying to get me to stay and tell them something. They would have practically broken my wrists.

"I know. And I love you both for that. I really do. I'll always love the two of you for everything that you've done for me. But I can't drag you into this. It's too dangerous," I said.

Florian was staring at me with a scrutinizing glare and Iris looked extremely concerned. "What are you talking about?" Florian asked.

"It doesn't matter. I need to go. Tell no one that I was here. Alright? Don't let anyone know that you know me," I told them.

The last thing that anyone needed to know was that I was friends with Iris and Florian. It would only make things worse for them. I knew that Jeanine would hang them over my head the moment that she found out about them. She could never know that I had anyone here in Candor. She knew too much already.

"What did you do?" Iris asked.

I nearly laughed. She knew that I was always the one to get us in trouble back in Amity. "You always think that it's me," I teased.

I was not going to get them in trouble. They had started a new life away from me. "It usually is. Alex, you were always one to get yourself into trouble. But this is something more. This isn't just you being in trouble. This is something more. It sounds like you're talking about life or death. I don't like that. Not when it comes to you," Iris said.

She didn't understand it but she sounded a little bit like Eric at the moment. I grabbed Iris's hand and noticed that it was a little clammy. She was clearly nervous for me. I could only imagine what she would be like right now if she knew what I was planning to do tomorrow. She would be passed out on the ground.

"I love you. I love you both. I wish that we could talk more but I need to go," I told them.

"Absolutely not!" Iris shouted.

"Alex, get back here!" Florian added.

Before I could get too far I froze. There was something that I needed and it was important. "There actually is one more thing that I need from you both," I said as I turned back.

They both perked up and smiled at me, clearly happy that I wanted something from them. "What is it?" Florian asked.

"There is a serum control room here, isn't there?" I asked, hoping that they wouldn't question me too much.

Iris and Florian both turned to look at each other for a moment. It was like a weird couple thing that they were doing. Talking to each other without actually saying something. They both looked a little confused about what I had asked but I saw something else in the back of their eyes. Maybe it was suspicion. I wouldn't blame them. Not many people would have said something about the highly protected serum room.

"Yeah," Florian finally said. "There is one. Not many people are allowed back there. I mean, you need clearance to go back there."

My heart fell slightly. I couldn't get back there without the clearance and I couldn't tell anyone why I needed the vial. "You do?" I asked.

"Yes. I have a clearance card."

Or maybe not. I smiled brightly at Florian who was smiling back softly at me. I needed that clearance card right now. Florian had put my plan back in motion. I just needed that card. I knew that I would be able to easily take the card from him but the last thing that I wanted was to hurt him. He was my friend. I had changed enough the past few months. I had done things that I wasn't proud of. I didn't want to know that I was capable of hurting a friend too.

"I know this is going to sound strange but give me the card. I need it. I'll give it back when I'm done with it. I promise that I have a good reason for needing it," I told him softly.

He stared at me for a moment. I needed that card more than anything. I hoped that Florian would remember all of the times that I had done something for him back in Amity. There had been plenty of times that I had done something for Florian that had ended up getting me in trouble.

"I'm not giving it to you," Florian finally said.

A small scowl crossed my face. We were friends. I had gotten in trouble for him a million times. "What?" I asked irritably.

Why couldn't he do this one thing for me? "We could both get executed if they find out that I gave you my card," he said.

I sighed at him. He was right about that. "I know but it's important," I said desperately.

"I know, which is why I can take you down there. We make it fast. We're your best friends. We're here for you."

A small smile graced my face. Even though I would rather do this myself I knew that they weren't going to let me go alone on this one. "Whether or not you want the help from us, you're going to get it," Iris snarled.

"You almost sound Dauntless," I said.

She didn't smile. She wasn't happy with me. "I don't know what you did but I can see that you're in deep. And that's what scares me," Iris said.

I nearly laughed at her words. It scared me too. She had no idea how afraid I really was. "I can handle it," I said.

"That's what really scares me. You don't look scared. You look determined. I don't like that look. I don't like the thought of you going and doing something stupid. You might not hold your life at a high value, but I do. We do," she said, motioning to herself and Florian.

The thought almost made me smile. She was right. I didn't hold my life at high value. But I did hold theirs at high value. I held Eric's at high value. Four's. The rest of my friends. Everyone. But not mine and not Jeanine's. We were the two that were really in this fight and only one of us could win it. But that was going to stay between me and myself.

"And I hold yours at a high value, which is exactly why I can't tell you what's happening," I said.

"Please be careful," Iris begged.

"Always. And thank you. You can bring me down there to get the serum and that's it. You don't need to know why and you don't ask any questions. Trust me, it's safer that way," I told them.

"You can tell us when you need," Florian said.

It seemed to take a moment but they both finally nodded at me. I was sure that they wanted to say something else on the matter but they were smart and stayed silent. "I know. Thank you. Both of you. Let's go. I don't have much time," I told them.

Without giving me any warning that they had heard me, Iris and Florian turned and started to walk away. It took me a moment but I quickly followed. As I walked behind them I noticed that the pair were both wearing matching clothes. A white button down shirt with black slacks. They looked nice. But they were much duller than they had been in Amity. Of course, I supposed the same could be said for me. I now wore almost all black all the time.

Iris and Florian walked back into the staircase that I had just come out of and groaned. I had been wrong. We headed back into the stairwell and made our descent into the bottom of the sub-levels. As we walked I glanced up at the clock on the wall and saw that it was late. It was already well past ten o'clock. I was shocked that Jack Kang wanted to have a meeting this late. But it was better. Having the meeting so late was the only reason that I had been able to come here.

"So," Iris called.

I turned back to her. "What?" I asked.

There was an almost playful look in her eyes. It looked so different than the serious look she'd had a moment before. "The man that you're with," she continued.

"What about him?"

"Anything going on there?"

A guffawing laugh escaped my mouth and Iris turned to me with a curious glance. I couldn't help it. She didn't quite understand but it made so much sense that Iris would take any chance to gossip with me about girl things. I assumed that she spent most of her time with Florian in Candor. I hadn't heard them mentioning anything about other friends or something like that while I had been near them. But I did appreciate her effort.

It somehow managed to get my mind off of tomorrow. It was nice to think about something else, even if it was just for a few minutes. But I couldn't help the little blanch that fell over my face. There was no way that I would ever do anything like that with Four. That was disgusting. It would be close to incest for me to be with Four. We were like siblings.

"Should we talk about the two of you?" I asked, trying to distract them.

"Eventually. But it's your turn now," she said.

"No. Not Four," I said with a little laugh.

Even Florian looked a little intrigued now. "Four?" he asked.

"That's his name. He's like my brother. I love him to death but I could never do something with him without wanting to take a bath and boil my skin," I told them honestly.

To my surprise both Florian and Iris laughed. It wasn't just a soft laugh. It was a loud and barking laugh. It showed me that they were happy here. Happier than they had ever been in Amity. I had never heard either of them laugh like that before. And never with each other. They used to hate each other. But it made me glad to see them together. I loved that the two of them were happy together. I was glad that someone could be happy if I couldn't.

"Well what about someone else?" Iris implored.

"You're terrible. We're supposed to be on a serious mission right now," I told her.

"Whatever How go things with that guy that you hate? Eric, I think it was," Iris continued.

It was a little shock that Iris actually remembered Eric's name. It had been months since they had seen him and it had only been for a brief minute or two. "You remember his name?" I asked.

She smiled at me. "He's a little hard to forget," she said.

"He's an asshole," Florian snapped.

I couldn't help it that time. It wasn't just the shocked and horrified laugh that I had given her when she had mentioned Four, this was one of those ironic laughs. Mostly because she had called it with the two of us months ago. Both Iris and Florian were staring at me like I was insane. We walked out of the staircase and I headed down the hallway with them. There was only a few rooms down here and it was extremely cold. It felt like Erudite down here.

"There is someone else," I told them softly.

Both Iris and Florian stopped walking and I slammed into Florian's back. He tripped slightly as I helped steady him. "You're faster on your feet," Florian commented.

"Comes with Dauntless territory," I teased.

They both looked thrilled as they grinned widely at me. They clearly wanted to know. "So... Who is it?" Iris asked excitedly.

"You do remember Eric?" I asked them.

"Yeah."

"Of course."

"And do you remember when I insisted that we weren't sleeping together?" I asked.

"Duh," Iris said.

"Please no, Alex," Florian groaned.

Iris slapped him in the stomach as I grinned. "It was the truth at the time. We're sleeping together now. We are together," I told them bluntly.

The moment that I said it I wished that I could have taken it back. There were probably better ways that I could have gone about it. Iris squealed loudly and I laughed as she launched herself into my arms. We stumbled back and I tightened my arms around her. It was similar to the way that Heather had taken the news. Although Heather actually knew Eric. Iris had only briefly met Eric. Florian's head dropped back as he groaned and I laughed softly at him. He wasn't a fan of Eric. He thought that he was a dick. I wondered what he would think if he knew that Eric was jealous of Florian because of a picture of the two of us kissing.

"I knew that something was going on between the two of you!" Iris shouted.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I groaned.

Tell me everything. Tell me what he's like. Tell us how it happened," she squealed.

There were some Amity traits that were hard to kick. One of them was loving to gossip. Iris had always been the bigger gossip, but I had enjoyed the occasional girl talk from time to time. "No!" Florian shouted.

Both Iris and I laughed. She shoved her boyfriend and I grinned at them softly. "You fon't want to hear about it?" I asked Florian teasingly.

"Do not tell us how anything happened. I don't want to hear about how the two of you got together. I don't want to hear about how you two spend your private time together. I'm not interested in anything like that," Florian continued.

I couldn't help but to wonder for a moment if it was because I had once been the person that Florian had come to at night. It almost made me shiver in disgust when I thought about it now. I wanted to know what would happen if I could get Florian and Eric alone in a room together. I was honestly curious what made the two men hate each other so much.

"Come on, Alex, seriously?" Florian asked.

"What?" I said, surprised.

"That asshole?"

Honestly I was a little surprised at his language. It didn't seem that Candor were much for profanity and I knew that Amity never cursed. It seemed like a mostly Dauntless trait. Although I did hear it from Candor and on rare occasions, Erudite. It simply wasn't something that I ever heard from Amity or Abnegation members.

"Yes, that asshole. I happen to like that asshole," I snapped.

Iris smirked and Florian flushed slightly. "Tell us about him," Iris goaded.

"Eric is a better man than he makes himself out to be. I promise. We've been good together. I'm happy being with him. I hope that one day you guys get the chance to meet him and actually get to know him. You'd like him," I said.

Iris smiled but one look from Florian made me wonder if I had just said that to try and placate him. "You so sure about that?" Florian asked.

"Actually, maybe you wouldn't," I laughed.

Florian nodded with an arrogant glare and I smirked at him. He hated Eric and always would. I wasn't sure whether or not I blamed him. He certainly wasn't the type of person to put on the charm at first meeting. Hell, he had called me pathetic and told me that he was going to throw me from the roof the first time that I had actually met him.

"Florian is just jealous," Iris teased.

"I am not!" Florian shouted.

The indignant scoff from Florian was louder than I had been expecting. "He doesn't think that anyone will ever be good enough," Iris continued.

"Someone will be. Just not him," Florian interrupted.

"Just so you know, I don't either," Iris continued.

I gave a soft laugh and smiled at the both of them. At her words, Florian brightened slightly. "If Eric makes you happy then that's all that matters to me. To us," she said with a soft nudge in Florian's side.

He merely grunted. "Yeah. Whatever. We're happy for you," he muttered.

"One day I would like to meet him. Actually meet him. When he's not trying to intimidate us," Iris said.

That was something that I would have liked that too. But I was pretty sure that no one would ever meet Eric without him trying to intimidate him. He was the type of person that always wanted to be the alpha male in the room. Plus there was the issue that we would likely never see each other again as Jeanine would be sure to end my friendship with Iris and Florian and my relationship with Eric.

"I don't think that you're ever going to see that. He likes to intimidate people," I told them honestly.

Iris smiled softly but Florian looked irritated as hell. "We can tell," Florian groaned.

It made me laugh softly and shook my head as we stopped in front of a door that was right around the bend in the hall. There was no label on the door but the window was blacked out and there was a restricted sign hanging across the front. I watched as Florian reached into his back pocket and pulled out a single card. It was black and looked a little metal. He held it up to the scanner and looked to me for confirmation. I took a deep breath.

"This is it?" I asked.

"This is it."

"Do it. I need to get in there. It's important," I said softly.

He nodded and I noticed that Iris took a step closer to me as he brought the strip on the back of the card down over the scanner. It took a moment before making a shrill beeping noise. I jumped slightly and noticed that both Iris and Florian smirked at me. It had been slightly louder than I was anticipating. The lights on the door changed from red to green before the door slid open and the three of us made our way inside.

Inside was a rather large, but dull, room. There were rows upon rows of vials being made in every corner of the room. It made my stomach twist itself into knots. It seemed that at least half of the room was dedicated to the unacceptable batch and that made me sigh with relief. I supposed that was a good thing. I walked over to the area that was sectioned off for the acceptable batches and shook my head. They were barely there.

It looked like there were only about twenty or thirty vials. There must have been hundreds in the unacceptable pile. I walked over to the few rows of the acceptable pile and looked over them. They were all bright blue and in small vials, each one clearly only meant for one person. My fingers trailed over one of the vials and just before I grabbed it, Florian's voice stopped me.

"Just so you know these vials are still in the test phases," he said.

"I know," I said, turning back to the vials.

Florian walked up to my side but Iris stayed in the background. I assumed that she wasn't down here often. "They don't always work. Not even in the acceptable stages. It just means that the mix is appropriate," he said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"So it's just a guessing game for which one works?" I asked.

I was always terrible at guessing. "Unfortunately. I'm sorry but I can't let you take more than one. Someone will notice if more than one is gone," he continued.

That was an even smaller chance of me being right. "That's fine," I said, even thought it really wasn't.

"Alex, keep in mind that they don't work for that long. They're still in the test phases. It won't work long. Maybe ten minutes, maximum," Florian warned.

How was Jeanine ever going to get these vials to the way that she wanted them? They weren't guaranteed to work, most didn't work, and the ones that did didn't last more than ten minutes. It made me confident that it would at least be years before they were ready for mass production. At least ten minutes was all that I needed.

"Ten minutes is all that I need," I finally responded.

It was the truth. "That's all that you needed?" Florian asked.

I smiled at my friends before pulling them into a hug. They both laughed as I let them go. "Thank you, both of you. For this. For everything. I know that you risked a lot bringing me down here," I told them.

"Of course," Florian said.

"Anything to help," Iris added.

They really were my best friends even though we didn't see each other as much as we used to. I wished that we did. I turned around and looked back down at the vials. I grabbed one out of the far corner and tucked it into my back pocket. Here's hoping it was the one that worked. It was the only way that my plan would work.

"I have to leave," I said.

"Already?" Florian asked.

"Four is getting ready to go and I need to go back with him. I love you both," I told them honestly.

Florian ushered us out of the room and the door made a low droning noise as it closed again. I heard the bolts lock behind us and I walked quickly with my friends back towards the staircase. I had what I needed and now I needed to get out of here as fast as possible. This was a big risk, me carrying around the vial.

"We love you too. We always will. Alex, you come to us any time that you need something. You understand us?" Florian asked.

"Of course," I said happily.

"No matter how bad it is just come back to us. We'll be here for you. No matter what it is. We're your best friends. We're your family. We love you," he said.

Had I not been expecting him to say something like that my eyes would have watered. Even though I had been expecting it my lip did give a soft quiver. "I know. I love you both too," I said softly.

"We only want to help," Iris said.

I grinned softly at her before walking to the doorway that would lead us back into the main lobby. "Trust me when I say that you've both done more than you can imagine," I said.

"I just want to make sure that you're safe. I know that you're a big Dauntless bad-ass now but that doesn't mean that you're safe from everything," Iris said.

I laughed loudly and shook my head. "Trust me when I say that I know that," I teased.

She had no idea how true that was. "You don't have to fight alone, Alex. You aren't alone. You never will be," she said softly.

I gave them one last smile and fought back the tears that were rimming in my eyes. "I know," I whispered.

They would never know just how much their words meant to me. I wished that I could tell them what was happening, but I knew that I couldn't. Their safety was number one. So I gave them a soft thanks and wrapped them both into tight hugs. Iris was shaking slightly when I grabbed her and Florian held me tighter than I was sure that he ever had. I was glad that I hadn't just been in a fight recently because his grip was crushing.

As they let go of me I leaned in and gave each of them a kiss on the cheek before allowing them to walk out of the stairwell. We all knew that I couldn't be seen with them. I waited a good two minutes before heading up and walking out of the stairwell after them. No one would ever know that we were friends. It was a secret that we were going to have to keep. As I walked into the lobby I saw that Four was already waiting for me.

Apparently we had perfect timing. He gave me a sharp nod and I nodded back to him as we both turned and walked out of the Merciless Mart together. No one said a word to us and most of the Candor residents ignored us as we headed straight for the train. One was speeding by us at the moment and Four ushered me on first. Now I realized why we only had an hour. The trains were always on time. They didn't wait for people. I walked into the train and stepped away from the doors. Four followed me in a second later. He walked us both over to take a seat on the back wall.

"How did it go?" Four finally asked.

Not bothering to say anything to him I reached into my pocket and slipped out the vial. It was tiny. It seemed like it wasn't even enough for one person. The blue liquid that was shining inside seemed like the only hope that we had. Four was looking at is closely and I could see that he sucked in a breath. He probably didn't think that our stupid little plan today was actually going to work. He gently took it from me to look.

"I got it," I told him rather unnecessarily.

Four turned a glare on me. "So I see," he said blankly.

"Took me a little bit but I got it. I could only take one. I can just pray that it's going to work. Keep it with you for now. It's safer than me having to hold onto it," I said.

It was the truth. I was sure that the serum was safer with Four than it was with me. There was a chance that my friends could see it, or even worse, there was a chance that Eric could see it. That would be the worst. He couldn't know anything more about my truth. Four nodded and grabbed the vial before tucking it into a deep pocket on the side of his pants.

"So are you going to tell me why exactly you needed to get that serum?" Four asked.

I glanced over at him, somewhat surprised. "What?" I asked dumbly.

"You've had this plan in the works for weeks now and you haven't said anything to me about it. I need to know. We're going to be in Erudite in sixteen hours. We don't have much more time to plan. You need to tell me and I need to know. We're in this together," he said.

A deep breath left my mouth and I shook my head. He was right, I had barely told him anything. It had mostly been so that I could protect him. But now I knew that he had to know. It wasn't fair that I hadn't been telling him the truth. It wasn't fair of me to try to protect him by essentially freezing him out.

"You're right. We are in this together. Just let me get all the way through the plan and I want you to say nothing, alright?" I asked.

I knew that he was going to try to interrupt me and tell me that it was a terrible plan. That was just the way that he was. "Okay," Four finally conceded.

"I know that it's not the best plan but I need for you to listen to me," I repeated.

Four stared at me for a good long moment before nodding at me to continue. "Alright, fine. Just tell me," he said.

For a long time I sat there, simply staring at Four. My entire plan was a really bad idea and I knew that, and I knew that telling Four would only make things worse. The plan was probably going to sound about ten times worse once I actually spit it out. So I took a deep breath before I could try to change my plan again - as I had changed the plan at least ten times already - and I launched into my idea.

It turned out that it was a really bad idea. I knew that each time I added another step into the plan there were just more holes forming. I could see that Four knew it as well. Each time I had to skip over a little piece of the puzzle I could tell that Four was starting to believe in the plan even less. He did seem to be fond of the idea of a sneak attack. It seemed to me that he didn't think that any other part of my plan would work. Maybe it wouldn't. I wasn't quite sure. But I was willing to try.

Rattling off the last few details of my plan I closed my mouth and looked over at Four again. It was like I was watching the gears grind together in his head. He was processing my story and he didn't seem the least bit fond of the idea. He took a few minutes but finally he shook his head and I hung my head back. I knew that he wasn't going to like this plan. Damn him.

"Alex, we can't do that," Four said.

"I knew you'd say that."

"That plan is suicide. For me and you," he tried to reason.

He was right. Every fiber of my being was arguing with me that he was right and I needed to recognize that. "I know," I said.

"So lets come up with another plan," Four argued.

"We don't have time!" I shouted.

"Well we aren't going to go where either one of us could die!" he shouted back.

The two of us sat in silence before I leaned over and grabbed his hand. "I've tried to think of any other thing that we can do. I've taken weeks to think about any plans that we could possibly make. I've tried to think of something else. I can't. I can't figure out anything else to do. There is no other way," I told him truthfully.

"There has to be another way."

"There isn't. You know it and so do I," I said softly.

Four sighed under his breath. There was no other way to do this. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"I"m sure. So I'm telling you that with or without you, I'm doing this," I announced proudly.

Four sat still for a moment before moving towards me slightly. He grabbed my hands. They were just as clammy as my own. "I know," he said softly.

For a while I waited for him to say something else but when he said nothing I shifted uncomfortably. That wasn't really the answer that I wanted. Did that mean that he wasn't going to go with me? Was he really going to leave me out there on my own? I had to say that the thought hurt me a little bit.

"That's why I'm going with you," he told me darkly.

"Thank you."

It didn't seem like it was enough. Even if I had been able to think up something else to say back to him I wouldn't have. So I smiled and leaned into his shoulder. Four was grinning above me and he caught his arm around my shoulder. I closed my eyes and leaned my nose into his shoulder. It did make me feel a little bit better that he was at least here with me. If nothing else, at least I wasn't in this thing alone. But I still wanted to cry. For the first time in a long time I actually wanted to be able to cry. I wanted to run away and pretend that this wasn't happening.

But I knew that it wasn't an option. I had to get off of my ass and do something. For the good of everyone else I had to do something to stop the war. I had lost any option to do anything else. A few minutes after closing my eyes I heard the train arrive at the Dauntless compound and allowed Four to help the both of us off of the train.

We landed together in a weak crouch and I smiled. That hadn't gone nearly as well as I had thought that it would. But it was slightly funny. He grabbed me by the arm and led me into the main area of the compound, kicking some of the rocks around his feet. We walked through the halls for a moment before Four stuck his arm out to stop me. I looked over at him and smiled softly. It looked like he wanted to hug me and never let go.

"You shouldn't go back there. Not tonight. Not when tomorrow..." Four said slowly.

I knew what he meant. He didn't have to finish. "I know," I said softly.

"Spend the night with Eric tonight, just in case," Four added, almost regrettably.

It surprised me that he had said something like that. I took a moment just to stare at him. He was right. I didn't know whether or not something was going to happen tomorrow. I didn't know and he didn't know. He was right. I should spend this last night with him. Just in case something was going to happen tomorrow. For one last night I wanted to be with him.

"Thanks Four, you're right. I'm going to go to him. I'll see you during the fear landscape tomorrow," I said, trying to keep the wavering out of my voice.

He didn't need to know how I was feeling right now. He didn't need to know that it felt like I was already dead. I didn't want him to know that. The two of us joined hands and I smiled, pressing a small kiss to Four's cheek. I went to turn on my heels but before I could, Four spoke up again.

"You probably won't take this to heart but hear me out anyways," Four said.

I turned to him and gave him a little nod. "What?" I asked.

He might have been wrong. I wanted to hear what he was going to say. He was like a brother to me. His opinion and advice meant everything to me. As much as I wanted to pretend that we would be back here in the morning with nothing being any different, I knew that it wasn't the case.

"Tomorrow is a long and important day. Try to get some rest. Even with everything happening you still have appearances to keep up. And if you don't stay in the number one spot you don't have to worry about Jeanine. You'll have to worry about me coming after you," he teased.

A short bark escaped my lips as I laughed and moved in to grab Four in for a hug. We stayed together for a moment before he planted a small kiss on the top of my head. I gave him one last smile before departing from him and laughing softly as I walked down the hallway. He was a wonderful man. I hoped that after tomorrow he would get a chance to live out the rest of the life. We both deserved to get to live out full lives.

We both went our separate ways at the fork in the hallway and I headed off to Eric's apartment for the night. For maybe the last night. I wasn't quite sure whether or not Eric was expecting me but I was pretty sure that I didn't care. I just wanted to see him one last time. I wanted to have faith that we were good together for one last time.

Walking through the hall I found myself quickly at the door for Eric's apartment. It was already well after eleven but Eric was a night owl. He was probably still awake. He normally didn't go to bed until after midnight anyways. I gave a soft knock on the door before walking through. As expected, Eric was still awake.

He was perched on the counter and thumbing across his tablet. He seemed to be bored with whatever it was that he was doing. He glanced up from the tablet and stared at me as I walked in. He dropped it and it made a small clattering noise on the counter. Swaying my hips slightly, I walked forward happily as he grinned darkly at me. I saw that behind him the picture of me in the red dress was hung now hung up on the refrigerator by a magnet and I smiled softly. He walked up to me and I laughed as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Honey, I'm home," I sang to him.

I had heard the line in some old show that I had put on once when Eric was asleep and I couldn't get to bed. It had been a cute show and I was glad that I'd watched it. Although when Eric had woken up he had nearly smashed the tape when he saw it. Apparently he had always hated that show. He had made it painfully clear to me once he had gotten me to shut it off.

"Shut up," Eric snarled.

I smiled and leaned in to give him a quick kiss. "Just kidding," I said softly.

"What are you doing here?" Eric asked.

"Well I thought that I was coming to visit you," I teased.

He grinned down at me. "I thought that you left with your friends for the night?" he asked.

For a moment I felt like a moron. He had thought that I'd left with them, not Four. It was a good thing that he had been so distracted by work when I had left. I could only imagine how the conversation would be going right about now. So I smiled and decided to tell him something nicer than the truth. I didn't want to lie to him but I had to. For one last night. He grabbed me around the waist and I laughed as he placed me on the counter.

"Well I figured that tonight was the last night that our relationship isn't allowed in Dauntless. After that I'm no longer your initiate and our relationship is no longer against the rules. I figured we could have one last night of debauchery," I teased.

My leg was slowly making its way up his thigh and I felt him tense slightly underneath me. He merely grabbed my leg and forced it back down onto my side. "There's the Erudite coming out to play," he teased.

In the meantime a hand wound its way up the back of my spine and into my hair. I laughed heartily and pulled him into me, smashing my lips against his. Ever since I had told him what I was he had made little remarks like that. He seemed to enjoy teasing me about it. He had done it enough times. Of course it was only because he thought that I was safe from Jeanine. Things would change once he knew that I was still lying to him. I supposed that was just who I was; a liar.

"Come on, I'm not that dumb," I told him proudly.

I was smarter than he gave me credit for. He was still smarter than me but I was also smarter than he thought that I was. "Never said that," Eric said lowly.

But I knew that he still thought that he was smarter and I was stupid. "Even if I hadn't gotten Erudite I still know some big words. Probably more than you," I told him.

Eric merely scoffed at me. We both knew that that was a lie. "Is that so?" he asked.

"In fact, I know lots of big things," I said, making sure to give him a pointed look.

Eric smirked at me. "Yeah?" he asked darkly.

I smiled and nodded at him. "Yeah."

"Like your fat head," he said, whacking me over the back of the head.

It was slightly harder than I'd been expecting. I laughed loudly and shoved back against him. I hated the feeling that was stirring in my gut as Eric caught my lips in a kiss once more. I cared about him. More than I had ever cared about anyone else. Who knew? Maybe there was even a possibility that I loved him. But I couldn't tell him that. I could never tell him that. It would scare him off. And I still didn't know if I really did love him or if it was just an infatuation. It didn't matter either way.

He grabbed me under the thighs and pulled me over to the couch. As he swung me around my head spun slightly, almost making me feel like I was drunk. He pushed me back against the couch and I laughed, falling over him and landing awkwardly in his lap. He was used to my awkward landings as he wound his hair and I groaned, moving as close as possible to his body. I could feel every contour in between the two of us and I wanted nothing more than to have every bit separating us gone. For one last time.

"You know what I was thinking about?" I asked as I pulled away from him. He hummed at me, his lips pressed gently against my mouth. "I'm going to finish in the number one spot."

He pulled away that time to give me a blank stare. I merely grinned at him and laughed softly. "There's that big head again," he teased.

I laughed and thumped my finger across his head. He really did drive me nuts. But I would never want it any other way. He nudged me back and I laughed against his shoulder for a moment, shoving his face away from me. He was such an ass. But it was just the way that I liked him. I would never like him any other way.

"Shut up. They say that it's an Erudite trait. And Dauntless," I said, giving him a pointed look.

"Whatever," he growled.

Be damned what the test told him, I knew that Eric was both Erudite and Dauntless. Just like I knew that Heather was part Candor and part Dauntless. No one could just be one thing all of the time. It didn't work that way. No matter what Jeanine and the rest of Chicago thought.

"That means that I'm going to finish higher in ranking than you did," I said, grinning proudly.

He merely glared at me. The glare dropped off of his face and he leaned into me with a dangerous gleam in his eyes. "Is that so?" Eric asked.

"That's so," I said.

"We can try a fight and see who wins," he said.

I knew that it was a challenge that he knew he would win. I still laughed as Eric knocked into my chest and sent me off balance. I hit the back of the couch and smirked as he leaned over me. His hands tangled in my hair as he rested himself in between my legs. His mouth traveled from the skin that was revealed on my chest all the way over my neck and up to my lips. I groaned softly into the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him as close as possible to me.

It was nights like this that I was going to miss deeply. I wished more than anything that I could tell him the truth but I also knew that it had gotten to the point where no one could help me. The only help that I had was from Four. I refused to drag anyone else into this. I had to do this on my own. Four was just the added bonus that I got.

I leaned back against the couch a little more so that I was lying flat on my back. My hands traveled down Eric's torso and I wrapped them around the edges of his shirt. I grabbed it tightly and bunched it up, grabbing it and dragging it over his shoulders. I didn't know if I was ever going to get the chance to do this again so I was going to make sure that my night was well worth it. I grabbed Eric under the shoulders and rolled him off of the couch, our limbs tangling and knotting together.

We both laughed as we fell over the edge of the bed, each of us smiling at the other. Eric leaned into me and kissed me hard on the mouth, his knee hitching underneath mine, effectively trapping me. I laughed against his mouth as I drug my hands over his bare chest. Each muscle gave a small twitch as I ran my nails over them and I grinned. Nothing made me happier than seeing what I could do to him. Eric grabbed my lip in between his teeth and I smiled. It was one of the little possessive habits that he had.

His tongue slipped into my mouth once he let my lip go. It ran gently over mine and I smiled at him. His mouth always felt good as I dipped my tongue back and forth in his mouth. He had a slightly minty taste to him and I knew that he had just brushed his teeth. It reminded me of all of the little things that I knew about him. The strange things that shouldn't have meant anything to the average person, but meant the world to me. He hated having bad breath, his toothpaste always had to be directly next to his toothbrush, and his toothbrush could never be left out.

They were just little things, but I loved knowing them. Underneath the taste of toothpaste I could taste the barbecue from tonight. Funny. I hadn't even thought that he liked barbecue. There were so many things that I didn't know about him. There were so many things that I wanted to ask him. But I didn't have the time. I just had to think of all of the things that I did know about him.

Laughing softly as Eric reached for me, I leaned up slightly so that Eric could pull my shirt over my head. The shirt caught on my shoulders and I chuckled as Eric practically tore it off of me. He was not a patient man. He never had been. But there was something about his impatience that I liked. There was something about the way that his actions were all carnal that I loved to see. He was a good man, and a man that I could have seen myself with for a long time.

But that wasn't the way that it would go. It wasn't long before my pants came off as well. Eric grabbed the bottoms roughly, yanking the button open. He practically dragged me across the floor as he grabbed at the tight bottoms. Maybe I should have worn something a little looser. It didn't take Eric too long to rip them off and toss them over the back of the couch, out of sight.

Eric grabbed me under the thighs and I gripped onto his back tightly as he lifted me up and walked me over to his bed. The sheets were already messed up, seeing as he probably hadn't remade it this morning. He was smart enough to know that we would just mess them up again. Eric's hands wound into my hair and I smiled as he tugged the strands back, pulling our mouths together. Eric was kind of stumbling around, unable to see.

For whatever reason, I trusted that he wouldn't drop or hurt me. Eric finally dropped me onto the bed and I laughed as Eric took no time to rip his pants off. They were discarded at the foot of the bed before I leaned over and reached to rip his underwear off. He looked surprised at the sudden action but he said nothing against it. He simply let me.

It was all because we were about to spend our last night together. Not that he knew that. I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I pushed him back against the bed before leaning over and grabbing his underwear, ripping them the rest of the way off. Eric grinned at me as I dropped down and grinned at him. He laughed slightly as I leaned over and kissed his head. He groaned and his head fell back against the bed.

My tongue flicked out of my mouth, flicking against his head a few times. Once more he let out a little groan as his fingers wrapped around my hair, dragging my mouth over him. I opened my mouth and let my lips run over his length a few times, my tongue slicking the back of his hard length. Eric groaned deep in his throat as my hands came up to dig my nails gently into his thighs. I was sure that at any minute he was going to explode by the way he was writhing on the bed. He always had liked when I did this for him.

It helped that I'd always loved having him in my control. It wasn't very often that he allowed me to take control, but if it meant that he could get some pleasure out of it, I knew that he would allow it. My tongue was swirling over his length as I ran my mouth over him again and again. He was making all sorts of sounds that sent chills down my spine and into my core.

Before I could finish him off, Eric grabbed my hair roughly and yanked me away from him. I let out a tiny grunt of pain but allowed myself to lift up from him. Eric didn't let me stay on my knees for long. Before I knew it he had barrelled at me and knocked me back into the bed. I laughed under my breath as Eric grabbed my bra and snapped the hook, popping it off of me. It wasn't half a second later that my underwear had followed. Both garments were tossed across the room, presumably to never be seen again.

In the meantime Eric threw me back against the bed and spread my legs wide enough so that he could fit in between them. I groaned and threw my head back as he thrust into me roughly. He was certainly wasting no time tonight. I assumed that he wanted to have as good of a go as he could tonight. I was already dripping and it meant that he could slide in with ease. Eric's forehead dropped against my shoulder as I breathed out raggedly.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss against my lips that I responded to, nipping softly against his lips. He pulled back out only to slam into me again. My chest was bouncing almost painfully up and down as he rocked into me, each thrust harder than the last. As we moved together a bead of sweat from Eric's forehead dripped onto my shoulder. My legs wrapped around his waist tightly as a bundle of nerves began to tighten in my lower stomach.

His thrusts became more desperate as he came closer to his end and my legs began to quiver as my end neared. It wouldn't be long before I couldn't stand it anymore. Eric's hands went down to my waist and I hissed as he tightened them so much to the point that I almost thought that he would break my hipbones.

Another two thrusts and I was sent over the edge, my legs shaking so pathetically that I knew that I would never be able to stand. At least not for a good while. My head fell back and loud, nonsensical, moans escaped my mouth. Eric followed with his own release a few thrusts afterwards, his warmth feeling oddly comforting. His rode out his high with a few more thrusts and I moaned at the sensitive bundle of nerves in my lower regions. As Eric finally came to his finish and pulled out of me I gave a sharp yelp.

He let me rest against him for a while before once more he leaned over me, beginning the process all over again. He was taking my one last night seriously. He wasn't going to let me get a wink of sleep. We ended up all over his apartment, each time more than once. As I had tried to brush out my hair before going to bed - at least, I'd thought that I was going to bed - Eric had bent me over the sink, probably enjoying watching the faces that I was making in the mirror.

That hadn't even been close to the end of our night. As I had tried to walk back to the bed Eric had pinned me up against the apartment door. I had been somewhere in between mortified and turned on when a group of people had walked past, obviously hearing what Eric and I were doing. It didn't help that they knew that it was Eric's apartment. I had almost asked Eric to move away from the door but what he had muttered in my ear had completely distracted me from any desire other than to finish.

We had even moved over to the bar that was attached to the kitchen. Eric threw me on top of the bar and pushed us backwards. I was sure that I had never been so grateful for it. The two of us had even taken a few shots from the bottle of liquor that he'd had sitting on the edge of the counter. It only made things more fun - and definitely a little hazier.

At different points throughout the night we'd even ended up with me on the table, the two of us leaning over each other in the chair, on the floor of his bedroom, one of the bar stools and back on the balcony. I was reasonably certain that a few Factionless men got more of a show than they were asking for. By the end of the night I was sure that my legs would never stop shaking.

It wasn't until well after three in the morning, after our fifth go-round that Eric pushed himself deep into me and released himself. I was bent over the bed again and heaving heavily from the exhaustion. If I could have gone another round I was sure that I would have. But I knew that I couldn't and I actually did need to get some sleep before the final test tomorrow. Eric grabbed me and tossed me up onto the bed, surprising me slightly.

He laughed at my shocked face before falling back onto the bed and grabbing me, pulling me with him. It amazed me how much he could be rough and tough one second and then be almost romantic the next. It was a good thing that he had pulled me up, considering that I could hardly move. I wasn't sure that I had ever had a night like that, but I was glad that I had actually experienced it. It was almost funny that the night that it finally happened would be my last.

As I drew patterns against Eric's chest I glanced up at him. "Eric -" I muttered softly, not really sure what I wanted to say.

I just wanted to say something before tomorrow came. I wanted him to know that I cared for him before I betrayed his trust once more. Part of me wanted to tell him the entire truth for what was going to happen to me tomorrow - I knew that it would be good to tell him the truth beforehand - but I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"Go to bed," Eric said softly.

I laughed at him and shook my head. "Goodnight," I said softly.

That was Eric for you. He leaned in to kiss me again and I let him. He grabbed me around my waist before throwing me over his torso, onto the other side of the bed. I laughed softly and rolled my eyes as Eric threw the sheets back over us. He grabbed me tightly and I smiled, leaning my head into his shoulder. He gave me another kiss on the lips. It was searing for a while before he finally released me. Once he let me go I turned away from Eric, pressing my back against his shoulder. He kept flat on his back as his fingers twisted through my hair, continuing until I was about to pass out. He wouldn't fall asleep until I did first.

The morning came after a long night spent with Eric and I groaned, covering my eyes with my forearm. Our last comment about having one last night of debauchery hadn't gone unnoticed by Eric. He had made sure that we enjoyed our final night together. I hadn't really gotten any sleep last night. Not that I was completely shocked by that. Eric hadn't let me get any sleep and I wasn't completely sure that I had wanted to get any sleep anyways. I wasn't sure that I could get any sleep.

Not when I kept thinking about what was going to happen today. I was relatively certain that we hadn't fallen asleep until well past three in the morning. Not that I minded. Although it did make for some soreness in awkward places now. Slowly I sat up in the bed and let the sheets pool around my bare waist. My eyes felt like they were glued shut and I rubbed over them a few times, hoping that the feeling would go away by the time I got to the fear landscape.

I glanced over into the kitchen and saw that Eric was already in there, apparently making breakfast. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and I smiled at him. Leaning over to the edge of the bed I grabbed his shirt and pulled it on over my head before standing from the bed and heading over to him. He was making eggs and coffee and I grinned; it was the only breakfast that I liked. I leaned over him and pressed a kiss against his bare back.

"Last day of training it today. It felt like today was never going to come," I muttered into his back.

He tensed up slightly at my words but it seemed that he relaxed quickly. "No, it always feels like it takes forever. It never seems like it ever ends," he said.

I couldn't help but feel like there was another meaning to the words that he was saying. "Did your initiation feel like it took forever?" I asked.

"In some ways."

"Has mine?"

"Yes."

He turned back long enough to give me a pointed look. "Why's that?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

And Eric knew that I knew the answer too. "You know why," he snapped.

"Thanks for breakfast," I said softly, knowing that there was something else going on - something that involved me that he didn't want to talk about. And I didn't want to push him.

"You're welcome. Training is finally over and you're still set to be in the number one spot," he said, changing the subject again.

Eric finally turned around and I smiled as he wrapped his arms around me. They went over my shoulders and I smiled as his lips met mine in a rough kiss. Whatever had been bothering him a moment before had passed. I wanted to ask him what it was, but I knew that he wasn't an open man. He would tell me if he felt the need. The kiss lasted for a few minutes before he pulled away from me. I smiled as he turned back to the eggs and began to prod at them.

"Are you ready for it?" he asked.

"No," I told him.

The answer came faster than I had meant for it to and I nearly laughed. Eric looked a little surprised but I shrugged my shoulders softly. He didn't realize that I had meant it in more way than one. I meant it for everything that was going to happen tonight. But I did mean it for the end of the initiation period too. I really wasn't ready for anything.

"I'm not too worried about it. I can handle it."

"So what's making you nervous?" Eric asked.

The fact that you're about to find out just how deep my lie runs. "It's just strange to think that the end of initiation is here. I'm not going to be a dependent or initiate anymore. I'll be a full Dauntless member," I said softly.

It didn't have the ring to it that it had once had. I took a few steps backwards and leaned against the opposite counter. "It'll be fine," Eric muttered as he began to scoop the eggs out of the pan.

"I know," I said softly.

"You get out of this one and you never have to do it again," he said.

I nodded at him. Eric pushed some eggs onto the plate and poured a cup of coffee for me before doing it for himself. He handed me the plate and cup myself and I thanked him softly, eating the eggs quickly. I wanted to be down to training early so that I would be able to get ready. I wouldn't have much time once they started, considering that I was going first. They had already told me that much.

"Don't think that this means that I'm going to stop calling you Amity," Eric said as I shoveled the eggs into my mouth.

Nearly spitting the eggs out onto the plate I coughed and gulped down a few chugs of the coffee. He was staring at me in confusion and I smiled back at him. Nothing would have felt right if he were to stop calling me Amity. I was pretty sure that I would think that he was angry with me. As much as I hated to admit it I had become very fond of the nickname. It was better than initiate and Softie. And Amity was pretty much solely reserved for Eric these days.

"I wouldn't dream of it," I teased.

"Good. Because I'm not stopping."

"Good," I shot back.

All of that was despite the fact that I was going to be at the top of the leader-board and was clearly no longer an Amity member. But that didn't mean that Eric would ever respect me enough to call me a real Dauntless member. We both sat together in silence and ate our breakfasts. We both liked eating in silence. It was one of the few times of the day that we could enjoy the company of another person and not have to worry about speaking to them.

Whenever I was with my friends it seemed like I was forced to eat with them. Eric ate quickly and I smiled when I realized that he was watching me eat. He seemed to watch me a lot. It was almost like he was waiting for something odd to happen. I finished my meal in silence before leaning over to Eric and giving him a kiss. He responded to the kiss before I jumped into his lap, grabbing at the knot in his towel and attempting to undo it.

"What are you doing?" Eric asked as he broke the kiss.

Honestly I wasn't really sure what I was doing. I just knew that I wanted one more night with him. I just knew that after tonight things were going to change. And I wasn't ready to face that yet. I just wanted this one last moment. I wanted to enjoy the last moment that I had with him. I wanted to enjoy this last real moment of privacy that I might ever have with him.

"We have time. Come on, I have time," I told him as I glanced up at the clock.

"Do you?" Eric asked.

"I don't have to be ready for another thirty minutes," I purred.

It was a blatant lie. And if he looked at the clock he would know that it wasn't the truth either. There was only another ten minutes before I had to be down at training. Eric was smarter than me and he had better self-control than I thought that he did. He looked over at the clock and half-smiled and half-scowled at me.

"You need to be down there in ten minutes," he said.

"The one time you don't want morning -"

"I always do, just so you know," Eric interrupted.

I merely gave him a little smile and shook my head. That was technically true. We were supposed to be early to the final test, and even though I really did have thirty minutes, I was supposed to be down there in ten minutes. I merely shrugged my shoulders and went back to undoing the knot at his stomach. He easily caught my hands again.

A frown marred my face as I stared sideways at him. I had thought that he wanted to have a morning go with me. I thought that it was one of his favorite things. He was always trying to have a morning with me. He had just said that he wanted a morning with me. It was why I had been late to training a few times. It was also why Four always seemed to scowl at me when I said that I was staying with Eric.

"What? Are you saying no to a morning with me?" I asked, feeling a little prissy.

Just as I had been thinking, as just as he had said, that wasn't what Eric had meant. He did want a morning rendezvous with me, but we really didn't have time. I knew that he wasn't going to let me think that he wasn't interested in me anymore. He merely brushed some hair back off of my face and held my hip tightly.

"One last day that you actually need to be on time. You're tempting, Amity, but I get raked over the coals when the initiates are late. Even though that's supposed to be Four's damn job," he muttered.

I laughed under my breath and shook my head. I had never realized just how much shit Eric got when Four's job didn't quite work out. "Just tempting, am I?" I asked.

"You have no idea," Eric said.

"Nothing more than that?"

"You don't need to get your head any more inflated," Eric growled.

"Sure I do."

"Go before I decide to keep you here," he said.

His fingers were hooking over the edge of the shirt that I was wearing. Part of me had been hoping that he would pull it off of me but his control was a little more impressive than that. He knew how to use it when he actually wanted to. Eric merely tightened his grip on the shirt as much as he could so that he wouldn't tear the material.

"Careful what you wish for. I might just like that," I teased.

Eric smirked at me as I stripped off his shirt and jumped off of his lap, sauntering across the room. He was watching me carefully and I smirked down at the floor, knowing that he was regretting saying no to my earlier proposition. This really was the better option. Today was a bad day to be late. Especially with Jeanine already here. The only important thing right now was that I went and enjoyed my day while I was waiting for the night so that Four and I could slip away undetected.

I headed over to the edge of the bed and grabbed my clothing, slipping it on quickly. My underwear was first and I heard Eric grumble once I had hidden my private areas from him. I snorted under my breath as I adjusted them. They were slightly stretched out and there was a little tear in the back of them. My tank top went on next and I slipped on a thin jacket over the top of it, one that I had left here weeks ago that Jeanine had found.

I grabbed my pair of tight jeans after that and moved them over my hips before grabbing my boots and pulling them on, tucking the material from my pants into them. Once I had straightened out my hair and pulled it back into a ponytail I turned back to Eric. His eyes hadn't strayed from me once the entire time that I had been getting changed. I walked over to him slowly and he grabbed me tightly, leaning in to kiss me.

"Get out of here before it's too late. I'm about ready to keep you here," he said.

"Remember... I offered."

He grinned at me, pressing a small kiss against my neck right behind my ear. I let out a deep sigh and shook my head. I wanted him to keep me here. I wanted to stay in this apartment forever and forget that there was a war brewing. I wanted to forget all of my troubles. But instead I gave him a soft smile.

"If only training was over," I teased.

Eric laughed and swatted me in the butt before I turned and headed out of the apartment for what very well may be the last time. The door shut behind me and I let out a deep breath. I would only see Eric a few more times before tonight. Taking in another few deep breaths I walked down the hallway and headed straight to the fear landscape room. I knew that my friends would already be out of breakfast at this point.

They were much better than me at being on time. I was probably the latest out of any of them on any given day. But not today - today I was going to be on time. As I walked through the halls I heard the PA system make a horrid screeching sound. I assumed that it hadn't been used that often. This was the first time that I had ever heard it being used.

"All initiates report for final testing. Repeat, all initiates report for final testing," the man on the PA system announced.

They really didn't want to take a chance with us being late. So I nodded to myself and took a deep breath, heading straight for the fear landscape. This was it. As I approached the set of double doors I could hear everyone inside chatting among themselves. I assumed that quite a few people were in there at the moment.

Grabbing the handle of the door I pushed them open and walked into the room. Just like I had been expecting, it was crowded beyond belief. I was shocked that this many people could even fit in the room. Despite the fact that I knew a lot of people could fit in here, it seemed that it was bordering on about fifty of them right now. Although I could still see that my friends were standing in the back corner of the room. I smiled and headed straight for them.

"Hey guys!" I called.

They all turned back to me. "Hey," Buck greeted, wrapping an arm over my shoulder.

"The last day of training. Is everyone ready?" I asked as I came to stand beside Heather.

"Alex!" She called happily.

I laughed loudly as Heather wrapped me into a hug and her arms tightened around my mid-section. I leaned into my friend even after she let go and took a deep breath. I was going to miss these days. I was going to miss Heather. I was going to miss everyone that was standing around us right now. With her arm wrapped over my shoulder, Heather led me to stand in the center of our circle of friends. Not that there was much room. There was hardly any room at all.

"Come on, we're all ready. Right guys?" Heather asked everyone.

They all nodded back at her with different expressions on their face. Some people, mainly the ones that I was closer to, all looked happy and excited for this. Maybe to be over or maybe to finally get to be a Dauntless member. Others, mostly the people that were closer to the middle and bottom of the pack, looked nervous. I assumed that it was because of their precarious position of the leader-board. But no matter what, everyone looked like they were ready for this to be over.

"Of course," Cole said.

"We're almost there," Dante said excitedly.

"Never thought we'd see it," Jax added.

"Hell yeah!" Aaron yelled, startling me slightly. "This is my one last chance to take over the number one spot again."

He nudged me in the side. I laughed and shook my head at him. He was not taking the number one spot from me. "Absolutely not," I said, shoving him back.

It seemed that everyone else agreed with me that he was not going to be taking the number one spot back. And I knew that Aaron knew that too. He just liked to tease me about getting the number one spot back. "I don't think so, man," Dante said.

He was patting Aaron on the back. I laughed and shook my head at the two boys. "Oh, come on!" Aaron cried.

"I think Alex wouldn't let you pry that from her cold, dead, hands," Dante said.

I couldn't help it, I shivered a little at the thought that someone might be moving my corpse in a few hours from now. But they didn't need to know that. So I simply smiled and laughed with them, reminding myself that it was only a joke. They didn't know what was coming to me.

"You would think right," I told Dante.

Jackson nudged me and I turned to smile at him. I didn't talk to Jackson much but that didn't mean that I didn't like him. He was one of the friendlier Dauntless born. He just didn't look like it. "Then we're just going to have to battle for that second place spot," Jackson teased Aaron.

I could tell that the two boys were best friends. Lisa had once told me that they had been raised together, their parents each other's best friends. But that didn't mean that they weren't competitive. So I laughed softly and shook my head at the competitive nature of the Dauntless boys. It was somewhat cute.

"Come on!" Draven yelled, startling everyone.

All eyes turned to him in complete shock. Draven was normally somewhat soft-spoken. To hear him yell like that was something strange. Normally it was Buck, Heather, Dante, and myself that were the loudest. "What?" I asked dumbly.

"You guys are seriously going to let yourselves be beaten by a five foot tall blonde girl from Amity?" he asked.

"Draven!" I shouted.

We all stared at each other before all eyes turned to me. I blushed softly and shook my head. It took a few moments before everyone began to laugh loudly. He was right. I was hardly the one that they thought would be the one in the first ranking. "He makes a fair point," Heather said.

I was in first ranking but I was also leading myself into slaughter. I supposed that all things came at a price. "She's a lot fiercer than she looks," Michael said.

"Thank you," I said happily.

He was one of the middle ranking Dauntless born and I smiled at him. Like Jackson, I didn't talk to him much, but I knew that he was a good guy. He always said hello to me in the halls. Everyone laughed loudly again and a few of my friends gave me gentle shoves. I was smiling softly at them as they all moved around me. I was going to miss them. I wanted to be able to stay friends with all of them. But things couldn't happen that way. Not now.

The room went a little quieter as people began to move around, each person moving to their final stations. We were close to the testing period. "Not that I don't enjoy talking about little missy over here, look at everyone around us," Jet said.

I smiled and stomped on Jet's foot lightly, making sure that it wasn't going to do any damage. "Don't be an ass," I shot back.

Suddenly I remembered what he had said about looking around us. I didn't bother to look around like the rest of our friends. I knew who was standing close to us. I didn't want to think about the people that were standing close to us. I couldn't bring myself to care right now. As everyone's eyes shifted around the room I made a point to stare at the floor. Somewhere in here Jeanine Matthews would be watching me. But I didn't want to see her until I absolutely needed to.

"I can't believe that they have this many people here," Buck said, turning the attention back to the small group of us.

"There are a lot of people here," Jet added.

"I didn't think that the end of Dauntless initiation was a big deal. I'm pretty sure that none of the other Factions have a last test that's as popular as this one," Buck pointed out.

The final Amity test was just a string of words and comments that were designed to make you lose your happiness. No one ever watched them. They were boring because no one ever failed. Plenty of people could fail the final fear landscape. The only thing that I had to make sure right now was that I was not one of the people that failed it. I wouldn't. I knew that I wouldn't.

"Maybe they like watching everyone's fears," Jax muttered under his breath.

"They probably do," I said.

He seemed to be as fond as the rest of the people in here that I was. All of the initiates nodded and shifted uncomfortably in their spots. These were the people that were here to determine their futures in Dauntless and society. I knew that they were nervous. I wondered how I would feel if I were in their position. It was obvious that some people were a little more concerned than others. Cole was one of the ones that I could tell were nervous. He was as pale as a sheet right about now and it only looked like it was getting worse by the second.

"I'm not sure if I want everyone in here to know my fears. Half of the people in here are in my fears," Cole muttered, panicked.

I couldn't help it. I stared laughing heartily, happy that he had said something to lift the mood. Within moments of my outburst the others followed me in laughter. Although no one seemed to be enjoying it more than Heather, who looked like she might piss herself. She loved watching her boyfriend embarrass himself. Something that he did frequently. It wasn't Heather that came to Cole's aid. She wanted to continue laughing. Instead it was Lisa. She wrapped her arm around Cole and I smirked at her.

"Of course they are, Cole," she said patronizingly.

I laughed loudly and shook my head as the rest of us began to make little jibes at Cole. "Some of these people are a little scary," I said softly, looking around.

"Come on, I mean I know people like Four and Eric appear in people's fear landscapes but how can half of the people in here be in yours?" she asked him bluntly.

I gave a sharp shiver but made sure to steel myself so that no one could see. Two of the people in this room were in my fear landscape. Actually, most of the people in this room were in my fear landscape. But I had a damn good reason for them to be there. Flipping her hair over her shoulders I turned to smirk at Serena. We had started out on bad terms but it seemed that we had become relatively good friends over the past few weeks.

"That's just sad. I hope that you guys can get through these things without mortifying yourselves. At least all of my fears are completely normal. There are mostly strangers in my fear landscape. At least, I think they're all strangers," she said, the last part more to herself than to anyone else.

I shook my head as Serena swung her hair over her shoulder once more. I liked her just fine but there were moments that I wanted to kill her. This was one of those times. "Alex!" I heard over the background noise.

"What?" I asked, turning back.

A blush fell over my face the moment that I realized what had just happened. The room silenced itself slightly as all of the faces in the room turned to look at me. My blush increased and I gave a little smile as I walked over to where I had heard the voice come from. Just as I had expected, it was near the center of the room, right where the chair was. All of the guests were sitting against the edges of the room, clearly waiting for my fear landscape to begin.

"Come on up, we're ready for you," Four said.

He was standing right next to the chair. "Okay," I muttered, walking up.

He had dark bags under his eyes and I figured that he hadn't slept too well last night. "Everyone else, head out into the waiting room. I'll call you in as the turns progress," Four instructed.

All of the other initiates nodded to Four before turning to leave the room. Pretty much everyone that walked by wished me good luck's and well wishes that I responded to. Heather was the last to walk by me but I grabbed her arm before she could depart from the fear landscape room.

"Heather -"

"You'll be fine, don't panic. You're the best one here. You're fine. You're going to go in there and spend some time by yourself and when everything is over we're going to celebrate together!" she yelled.

I smiled at her. I wished that I could have done that. But I celebrated yesterday. There was nothing for me to celebrate today. "Thanks," I whispered.

"And you're going to pull Eric in for the biggest kiss you've ever had in front of everyone," Heather teased, leaning in slightly so that no one else could hear her.

We were both smirking at each other as I laughed and shoved Heather gently. She was laughing and I shook my head at her. I was going to miss her more than anyone else in here. I would miss all of them, but I was sure that I would miss Heather the most. I wanted to tell her the truth more than anything else but I knew that I couldn't. No one could know.

"I will," I told her.

It was a lie but Heather didn't see through it. I wondered if maybe she was losing some of her Candor qualities. "Don't worry. We'll have fun later," she said.

"Of course. I'll see you later, Heather. I love you. And thanks," I told her softly.

She smiled at me as I grabbed her for one last hug, quickly letting her depart to the rest of our friends. "Love you too!" she called.

Once I saw Heather leave and the door clicked shut behind her I turned on my heels and headed over to the chair that I would be taking my final test in. I took a deep breath and walked up the stairs to it, letting my eyes wander slightly. I wanted to know just how many people were really here. It seemed like there were a lot.

Up on the stage area there was only Four, who was waiting for me with the needle in his hand. He was beckoning to me with a tiny nod. Around the rest of the area I could see the others Dauntless leaders that I rarely ever saw, Max, Jeanine Matthews, Lauren, Jack Kang, Marcus Eaton, Johanna, Cameron, Zeke, a few other higher up members, and in the corner of the room, Eric.

Each of them was watching me with a different look on their face. The leaders that I rarely saw were all looking at me with something in between pleasure and curiosity. I wasn't sure that I liked any of their looks. Max and Jeanine Matthews were both watching me with little smiles that unnerved me to my core. I knew that they were both thinking about what was to come tonight.

Jack Kang was giving me an even stare but he had a tiny, comforting smile on his face. Lauren was smiling at me as well, clearly rooting for us. Marcus Eaton had a nasty sneer on his face and I looked past him quickly. Johanna was giving me a bright smile that screamed that she was proud of me. I smiled back at her. Cameron and Zeke were both giving me silly faces and teasing smiles. Eric was the only one that was giving me a look that said more than just I'm proud or I can't wait.

His said that he was proud and everything more. I gave him an almost imperceptible smile before turning and taking a seat in the chair, trying to push my thoughts about him away. Four walked up to me quickly and I leaned back, letting him brush the hair from off of my shoulders. I felt the sharp point of the needle drive into my skin and I shivered slightly. Here goes nothing. Four leaned down to my ear but I continued to stare straight ahead of me.

"You're ready. You can do this," Four said.

"Thank you."

"They can see your hallucinations on the screen. So you get past your fears the way a Dauntless would, but do it quickly," Four warned me softly so that no one else could hear.

I nodded at him but stopped the moment that I felt the needle tugging at the skin in my neck. "Right. Get out of there fast and keep the number one ranking. Thanks Four, for everything. I'll see you on the other side. And I'll meet you tonight. You remember the plan?" I asked him.

"Got it. Focus now," he said.

I leaned back, crossing my hands over my lap. Before the plunger was pushed on the needle I glanced over to the edge of the room to stare at Eric once more. He now had a straight face on. He gave me one last nod as the plunger went down and the icy feeling soaked into my veins. Eric's unreadable face was the last thing that I saw before slipping into the abyss.

When the world came back into focus I knew instantly where I was going to be. In the room in Erudite with my parents and Jeanine in there together. It was obvious from the room that we were in that things were going to be going a little different in the fear landscape. For one, I knew for a fact that this wasn't the same room that my original fear had been in. I watched as my parents were each dragged into the room and I reached on my body to see if there was anything that I could use as a weapon.

The only thing that I had was a bobby pin that was in the back of my head. It was against the base of my skull and I grabbed it out of my hair quickly, ensuring that no one could see what I was doing. I knew how to end this fear sim before it could even really begin. There was no way that I was going to let her say anything. I had to win this one. Jeanine had taken enough from me. She was not going to take my spot in Dauntless as well. Not the one that I earned.

Moving carefully I snapped the bobby pin in half and turned up the edges to make sure that they were sharp enough. Hiding it in the palm of my hand I watched as Jeanine Matthews walked into the room with two body guards at her side. They each grabbed onto one of my parents and I walked up to Jeanine slowly.

"Miss Freesia. Do you know why you're here?" Jeanine asked.

She had a bright smirk on her face and I watched as she held up a hand, motioning to her men to put their guns up to my parent's heads. This had bothered me for so long, but it didn't bother me anymore. I was ready. I stared at her for half a second before nodding with a smirk of my own.

"Yes," I answered quickly.

I grabbed onto the bobby pin tightly before running after her and jamming the edge into her eye. Jeanine dropped to the ground, bleeding all over the place and screaming to the bloody skies. I blocked out all sights of her and grabbed the gun from the floor, the one that she must have been holding before. Turning to the two men that seemed to be in between killing my parents, killing me, or helping Jeanine, I put off two shots through each of their eyes.

My heart was pumping as I waited for the second fear to arise. The blue room that I was in faded and I watched as another room came into view. This one was gray and I stared at it in horror. I knew which one was coming. This was the one where I had to kill Eric to prevent Jeanine from carrying out her plans. I hated this one. A gun was strapped to my thigh and I grabbed it, checking to make sure that there was still only one bullet. Just like I had expected, the fear hadn't changed. There was still only one bullet.

Knowing what I had to do, I dashed behind the computer counter and waited for everyone to walk into the room. It took a moment or two but when they did I made sure not to waste a moment's time. Eric came in first and behind him I could just barely see the swish of blonde hair that I knew would be Jeanine. I aimed over the edge of the computer cabinet and just before I ducked out I caught the sight of Jeanine's grinning face. Jumping out, I aimed the gun at Eric's forehead and pulled the trigger. The gun recoiled and I watched as Eric fell to the ground, another body falling behind him, their limbs tangling together.

I barely had time to mourn what I had done and watch the lifeless eyes of Jeanine and Eric before the scene changed once more. It felt like I was flying through the fear landscape right now. I knew that I couldn't even get through Lauren's fear landscape this fast. The room went through a strange warp and the next thing that I knew I was falling. I let out a short shriek before my feet hit the ground of the walkway in between the Erudite and Candor buildings. My baby sister dying because I couldn't get to her fast enough. I knew how to get through this one. I just had to go fast.

Brushing through the crowd quickly, I noticed that I was getting lots of nasty looks. It didn't matter. There was only one thing that mattered to me right now. I dashed after the man that I needed before catching him out of the corner of my eyes. The Factionless man was already at my mother's side. He had his hand on her arm and I grabbed after him. When I was just a few paces shy of the man I jumped the rest of the length, making sure that he wasn't going to get to her this time. He growled darkly as I shoved him to the ground and punched him in the throat. My mother and father both cried out but it didn't matter. My mother was safe.

I stood weakly from the ground, searching desperately for the right words to say to my parents but I never got the chance. As soon as I got up from my spot on the ground and straightened up I noticed that the world had changed again. I shivered as I watched and saw that I was back down in the snake pit. This was certainly one of my worst fears. I darted over to the walls of the cave as the snakes began to slither out of the edges of the cave and I screamed as one of the snakes got in a good bite to the edge of my shin. I knew that I could keep going. I had been bitten plenty of times before when I was practicing this fear.

My legs pumped as I ran over to the edge of the pit and grabbed onto the bottom rock. I groaned as my legs and arms strained at each grab and more than once I felt the snakes bite at my hands and feet. I cried out softly at each new bite and groaned as I felt the blood pooling around my wrists and ankles. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that I got out of here. I was slowly making progress as I grabbed the top of the wall of the cave and yanked myself out. A few snakes came flying up with my leg and I cried out in fear as I straightened up and began to run at a full sprint away from the cave, ignoring the sharp pains in my ankles.

As I continued to run I jumped in surprise when I went smashing into the wall of another room. This one was white and I rolled my eyes. It was the room where all of my friends and family were gathered to insult me. Like the other times that I had been in here I was with the other initiates, my friends in Dauntless, Iris and Florian, my parents, and Eric. Jeanine Matthews was in the room too and I knew that somewhere she had two of her goons watching over Four's body. The thought sent chills down my spine.

One by one they all went back through insulting me and I had to listen to them all. I hated thinking that some part of them might have been right. I hated thinking when they told me that I was going to die that they were right. I watched as Jeanine called out for the men that held Four's corpse and I growled deep in my throat. As Jeanine teased me I grabbed out for the gun that one of her men was holding.

She yelled in surprise as I shoved the butt of the gun into the man's face before turning and firing a bullet into her knee. She dropped weakly and I smirked down at her. I raised the gun once more to shoot her again, directly in the forehead, but before I got the chance the scene changed again.

Just as I had expected, I was back in Dauntless, standing in the training room. I leaned back and waited for Eric to walk into the room, just like I knew that he would. It took a few moments longer than I had thought that it would but Eric finally walked into the room and I smiled, trying to pretend like I didn't know why he was here. He grinned at me and I gave him a smile back. Before he could try to smooth talk me into sparring with him I swung a fist out, managing to catch him in the cheek. It connected roughly with him and I watched as he fell to the ground hard. It was obvious that he hadn't been anticipating me to hit him.

For a few moments we traded blows back and forth before he managed to catch me under the leg and drag me out to the Chasm. It was the same thing that always happened. I was too weak to fight back with him on that one. I thrashed back at forth, trying to get away from him, but my thrashes weren't strong enough. And I knew that they never would be. I had to grab the railing.

That was the one way that I knew that I could beat him. As he dragged me to the edge of the Chasm I caught the railing just before Eric could throw me over and I wrapped my legs around his waist, kicking off to the side. Each time Eric caught me but I refused to give up. I was going to get him away from me. I kicked out a few times in his jaw and shoulders before his grip on me finally loosened enough for me to kick him over.

I wrapped my arms around the Chasm railing as tightly as I could before kicking out at Eric one last time. My booted foot connected with his cheek and I watched as he began to slip over the edge of the railing. He caught onto my thighs and I groaned at the sudden pain that was shooting through my thighs as I slipped over the edge of the walkway. It took me a few kicks to Eric's face to get him to release me but once he had I managed to weakly pull myself back up onto the walkway, nearly vomiting on myself. He was heavier than I had expected. And now his corpse lay at the bottom of the Chasm.

I tried to sit back up and let out a breath but before I could I went shooting up in the dentist chair that was in the fear landscape room. Everyone was sitting around giving me a soft round of applause and I noticed a few strange expressions being exchanged from between Eric, Four, Jeanine, and myself.

"Well done. Well done. There's no way that anyone else is going to take over the number one spot," Four said, making me laugh.

"Thanks," I muttered.

He was right. It had only taken me just over seven minutes. "Now go sit outside. Wait for me. Try not to dwell on everything," he warned me softly.

Weakly I nodded at him before standing. As I exited the room I walked past Eric and Jeanine. He gave me a little nod and Jeanine had a wicked smirk on her face. Not wanting to face what was going to happen in a few hours I leaned back on the wall and closed my eyes, choosing to walk past my friends and not say anything to them. They didn't seem much for chatting anyways. Not that I had expected them to. Everyone was nervous for what was to come.

As I sat against the wall I watched as the minute and hour hand on the clock ticked by and the rankings moved over the electronic board, moving their people into their final spots. One by one my friends began to rejoin me as we all watched the rankings finalize themselves. While people were becoming more and more excited I was getting more and more nervous. It was getting too close to when I was supposed to leave.

In just a matter of a few dozen minutes Four and I were going to have to go and take care of both Jeanine and the war. There was no way out of it. We had officially reached the end of the line. Our time was up and we were about to go on a suicide run. It killed me to think about it but we were finally here. I tried to distract myself by watching the rankings move around but when Heather came out of the room I smiled slightly, forgetting what I had to do for just a moment.

She was going to be safe in the top ten. That meant no Fence duty for her. Unfortunately though, Colt had managed to worm his way into the safe side of the rankings. He would be staying in Dauntless. Although it looked like he would be on Fence duty at least. It turned out that it was Hunter and Aria that were leaving. At least I got rid of Hunter.

As the bell rang, signaling the end of initiation I heard the cheers from everyone around me. We had all made it. All of my friends were whooping and yelling at each other and I smiled as they all ran out into the Pit, beckoning for me to join them. I said that I would but it was just another lie. Most of the other Dauntless members were all laughing at our antics and I smiled softly. I wished that I could be like one of them, enjoying that we were finally real members of the Factions that we had all fought so hard to become a part of.

I watched as the last of my friends ran off towards the Pit and I gave Heather a shouted promise that I would be out there soon. A hand laid itself on my shoulder and I turned back to see that it was Eric who was standing behind me. He was smirking down at me and I gave him a weak smile, trying not to show that I was nervous.

"Not bad, Amity," Four said.

"Thanks."

"Enjoy the celebration. I have things to do tonight. If you want I'll be back later," he shrugged.

I knew where he was going. Little did he know that we were going to the exact same place. "Okay," I muttered.

"Probably around midnight or so," he continued.

"I'll be there."

Stop lying to him. I nodded again and waited for him to leave me. He did, but it wasn't the way that I was expecting. Eric grabbed the back of my head and I gasped loudly as his planted a harsh kiss on my lips. I heard a plate clatter behind me as I stood stupidly ramrod still. He finally broke away from me, but not before giving me a proud wink.

"See you around, Amity," he said before turning and leaving.

"Bye," I muttered.

It didn't take long for me to smile bashfully as I turned the other way, trying to avoid the shell-shocked gazes of the Dauntless members that were still flooding in the hallway. Turning on my heels, I headed to walk away, not wanting to make this any worse for me. Damn Eric, I should have known that he would do something like that the minute that I was a real Dauntless member.

"What the hell?" a Dauntless woman whispered as I walked through the hallway.

"Did Eric just kiss her?" a man that was standing near her asked.

Come on people, was it that hard to figure out what Eric had just done? A loud and barking laugh came from the far end of the hallway and I blushed softly. If I somehow lived through tonight I was going to kill Eric for this. I was never going to hear the end of it. This wasn't the way that I'd wanted our relationship to become public knowledge.

"Isn't that the Amity transfer?" another man asked.

They had to be joking. I was a real Dauntless member now, they weren't allowed to call me the Amity transfer anymore. But I knew that they always would. Just the way that Eric always would. Another woman that was standing at the end of the hallway was the next one to speak.

"That was Eric, right?" she asked her friends.

I nearly laughed at her words. Of course it was Eric. I supposed that it would have shocked me too if I were one of them. I was still a little shocked myself. Walking out of the main area for the fear landscapes I headed towards the train station, trying to sneak past a few kids that were darting into the Pit for the celebration. This seemed to be one of the biggest days here in Dauntless. I wished that I could be here to celebrate it with them.

"Come on! The party is starting!" a few younger kids yelled to me as they ran by. I smiled at them and shook my head. They were faster than I could ever give them credit for. "Come on! It's time to go!"

They continued to yell as they banked the corner for the Pit. I watched through the walls that led to the Pit with a soft smile as my friends were welcomed as full members into the folds of Dauntless. They looked thrilled. A few times I had to shift behind the wall to avoid their gazes. I knew that they were all looking for me considering that I had said that I would be right there.

"You ready?" Four called out to me.

"Sure."

He was standing only a few feet from me. He was probably the only person in the compound right now, beside myself, that wasn't smiling. He was standing there with some clothes in his hands that I looked over. I could tell that they were the clothes that he wanted me to wear. They were more protective, like the ones that I had worn during our mission to Amity a few months ago. I nodded at him and grabbed the clothes, walking on shaky legs with him towards the train station.

As we walked I finally turned back to Four and attempted a smile. It probably looked a hell of a lot more like a sneer. "Four," I called.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not ever going to be ready. But being here and not being alone, that's the best thing that I could ask for," I told him honestly.

"I'll always be here. Until the end."

Four smiled at me sadly and grabbed my hand. I noticed that his were about as clammy as mine were. As we exited the building towards the train station I risked a glance up at the clock. It was only just approaching six. I smirked, perfect timing on our part. We walked hand-in-hand towards the the train and I sucked in a breath as it approached. This was it. No matter what was about to happen, this was it. And I was glad that I wasn't alone.

A/N: Another fully edited chapter. Let me know what you think! Until next time -A

Debbydq: Oh yes, Eric is angry at everyone. And we all saw that coming. He's not a very level-headed person. He wants to protect her but he feels weird about it, he's never wanted to protect anyone before. Thank you! Well, unfortunately that's not the way that it's going to go. Eric will be going in blind. Poor Eric! Hope you enjoyed this one. Enjoy the next one!

mmelody6: Here's hoping you liked this one!

Erised Brophy: Thanks! I'm back to my dorms safe and sound :)

leek812: Thank you! I'm back and I'll have the next chapter up soon :)

sleepy1177: I'm all good and back where I belong doing what I missed so much over the past few days! I hope you were safe during the hurricane as well. It was nasty the farther north you were. Hope everything is alright with you and yours!