"Luffy, I have some good news," Robin said as she walked into the two's room. It was the fifth week after Luffy had gotten his fake eye, still keeping the patch on all the time. She was glad missing an eye was no longer affecting him how it had in the beginning. Luffy was now able to walk without bumping into things all the time. He still did occasionally, but he didn't need Zoro's help anymore.
What is it? he wrote.
"Your new eye is done," she said with a smile. Luffy beamed. Why so soon? he asked.
"Since the injury happened at the hospital, I sort of blackmailed them into hurrying up or I'd sue them," she replied nonchalantly. Luffy smiled. "So they put you in front of others on the waitlist. The color should be identical to your iris, since they had multiple pictures to reference. We can go get it tomorrow if you'd like," Robin said. Luffy nodded vigorously. He turned to Zoro, who was on the bed next to him, with a grin.
"It won't look creepy any more, right?" Zoro asked him, smiling at the unrestrained happiness radiating off of Luffy. Luffy nodded quickly again. Robin left the room, still smiling. She was glad she got to see that reaction. Usually smiles like that were only for Zoro. Luffy was extremely happy for the rest of the day.
The next day, Luffy was laying on a bed, sedated as his new transplant was put in place. He hadn't denied the sedative this time, which the surgeon was happy with. It wasn't Law, and the woman had been warned ahead of time of Luffy's behavior. But Luffy wanted it as soon as possible, so he cooperated amazingly.
Robin had brought everyone along this time, thinking if Luffy had multiple positive reactions, he'd be even happier. Zoro sat next to his mom on a couch in the waiting area, the others all watching the TV. Zoro was also excited for Luffy's new eye, because then Luffy wouldn't hate his face anymore, and Zoro missed seeing Luffy with two beautiful eyes. So he waited patiently and quietly, not talking to Robin.
A while later, Luffy stood in front of the others with his eye closed. He was nervous, though he'd seen how it looked before hand, and how it moved along with his real eye. He was so happy he had started to cry, which he was told to try not to do by the doctor. He was so happy he didn't even blush in shame of being told not to do something.
He slowly opened his eyelids and looked at everyone. Each one of them smiled, and Zoro gave a true grin, something he didn't do much. Luffy looked at each one of them, studying their expressions.
"It looks so real!" Nojiko exclaimed. Luffy looked to her, both eyes moving at the same time.
"It's gonna be hard to remember you can't see out of one of them," Sanji said, sounding a bit bored. "Maybe you should tape something to your sleeve saying you're blind in one eye. Until we get used to it."
"I'm glad you'll finally not be wearing that eye patch anymore," Usopp said. "Looks too much like a character from this anime I'm watching," he added.
"Robin told you you weren't supposed to watch that one any more," Nami whispered to him, but Robin didn't notice or didn't care at the moment.
"Do you like it?" Robin asked. Luffy nodded to her. Finally, Luffy looked to Zoro. He was still grinning and walked over to him, not caring that he was in public in front of the rest of his family as he kissed Luffy. Everyone looked away except Nami who giggled. Usopp turned a vibrant red and Sanji sighed as he looked at the wall across from him. He'd never get used to that. Nojiko just turned away because the others had.
Luffy's face was bright red, looking at everyone in the room who had either looked away, or stared. Apparently the staff and patients weren't expecting that. But Zoro didn't care.
"I hope you're not going to hate your face anymore," Zoro said softly. Luffy smiled and shook his head. He knew that everyone would be forgetting his left eye is blind because the new one looked so realistic. And now that it looked the same, he couldn't feel it as being weird. He assumed it had been a psychological thing, since his doctor told him it shouldn't have felt any different, even the old fake eye.
When they all left, everyone was happy to see Luffy with a real unrestrained smile. They hadn't seen that in a while. Zoro held his hand and Luffy swung it. Something he hadn't done in a long time. He was so glad Luffy was like this. Luffy looked like a different person than he had been just a few hours ago. Zoro hoped this would last for some time. The longer the better, because Luffy deserved to feel like this after what happened. Maybe his nightmares will stop when he feels like this. And maybe Zoro seeing Luffy so happy will stop his constant nightmares as well. He still hadn't told anyone or tried to get help. He had too much pride. He needed to be strong for Luffy, although it was selfish towards himself. But he knew Luffy would be upset and concerned if he knew that he was the subject in all of Zoro's nightmares. He might feel guilty and ashamed, and Zoro hated when Luffy felt ashamed.
During the drive home, Luffy didn't interact with any of them, but had a content smile on his face as he looked out of the window. He listened to everyone chatting, except Zoro, who was watching Luffy. Zoro took Luffy's hand and squeezed it, but said nothing. Luffy smiled just a little wider, causing Zoro to smile slightly.
The police cruiser wasn't far behind them, and Luffy was thankful he could ride with everyone instead in the back of the cop car, feeling like he'd done something wrong, being behind the mettle mesh separating the front and the back of the vehicle.
Dinner that night was the best they'd had in a while. Luffy ate with all of them, without the eye patch, and though he didn't contribute to any conversations, they could tell he was happy to be at the table with them. None of the kids had realized just how insecure Luffy had been about his missing eye.
Throughout dinner, everyone noticed how Zoro kept sneaking glances at Luffy, glad to see how content Luffy looked. He looked like a completely different person than he had been for the last couple weeks. They all hoped this feeling lasted for Luffy. They didn't want to see him miserable anymore. They had seen enough of that when luffy first came. That felt like so long ago, when really, it'd only been a few months.
After dinner, Luffy and Zoro went to their room, Luffy immediately heading to the bathroom to look at his reflection. He just smiled as he looked at his new eye. It really looked like his old one. It felt strange to look so normal, but still only able to see out of one eye. He had accepted the fact he was blind, though he didn't like it, because there was nothing he could do about it. And Zoro was right. Luffy didn't want to give his dad the satisfaction of having this whole thing ruin him.
Zoro came up from behind him and Luffy watched as he wrapped his arms around luffy's waist and put his jaw on top of his head. "Do you like it?" Zoro asked with a smile. Luffy returned the smile.
"Yeah…" he replied.
"I was getting tired of the eye patch. I missed seeing all of your face. Your beautiful face," Zoro said, causing Luffy to blush and bite his lip, trying to suppress a grin.
"C- can you do the kisses?" Luffy asked, his face red. He still got flustered about asking this, since Zoro always looked amused and wore a smirk. Like he was in on something Luffy wasn't.
"Sure," Zoro replied. He liked doing the kisses because of Luffy's reaction. He always closes his eyes, smiles and sighs happily. And it was hot to Zoro, though he had no problem with Luffy not seeing it in the same way Zoro did. He was just glad Luffy didn't think it was bad or uncomfortable. He remembered all too well when he had first done them and Luffy had been very uncomfortable. That had been bad.
They walked to the bed and Luffy sat down in Zoro's lap, this facing away, surprising Zoro. "I thought you wanted the kisses," he said.
"Well… I was thinking we could try it the other way… is that okay?" Luffy asked nervously. Zoro smiled behind him. Luffy usually never changed things. He hated change and liked to stick to things he was used to. Zoro was happy Luffy was willing to try something different. And he brought it up himself too!
"Yeah that's cool," Zoro said, then leaning down and kissing Luffy's neck and back from behind. He was a bit bummed he couldn't watch Luffy's face while he did it. But he heard the tell tale sigh and smiled around the kisses.
This went on for a few minutes before Zoro got a bit carried away, something he could control most of the time. His tongue came out and he slowly licked up Luffy's spine. Luffy wasn't expecting this and jumped out of Zoro's lap.
"No!" he said, turning around with a grumpy face.
"I- I'm sorry. I got carried away, I won't do it -" Zoro rushed, panicking. Crap, had he seriously fucked up?
"That tickled! No licking," Luffy said, shocking Zoro. he wasn't expecting that to be the reason Luffy freaked out. Zoro's heartbeat finally slowed and he sighed in relief.
"Okay, I won't do it again," Zoro said, smiling in relief. Phew. He didn't scare Luffy away. "Sorry. Did it make you uncomfortable?" he asked, curious to how Luffy thought it felt beside tickling.
"No, but I just don't want to laugh," Luffy explained simply. "Can we play video games? I think my arm is good enough to play," he said.
"You only just got your cast off, so you shouldn't push it. And how would you know your arm is fine if you can't feel if it hurts or not? We can watch a movie though," Zoro told him. Luffy briefly pouted, but agreed to watch a movie. This time it was Zoro's turn to pick out a movie. "Do you want a movie marathon? I think you'll like the series I'll pick."
"Okay, what is it?" Luffy asked, somewhat excited.
"Well, you haven't seen the Harry Potter movies yet, right?" Zoro asked, smiling when Luffy's face lit up and he happily agreed to watch them. Zoro couldn't get over the complete 180 that Luffy had done. All because of his new prosthetic. Zoro wished that this had happened earlier. It had been hard to see Luffy digress into how he used to be.
The two stayed up all night and then put the movies on the moment they woke up the next day.
Luffy had a great day, even staying in the living room with the others for a while. Lately, he'd been staying in the bedroom all day, sometimes completely skipping meals. True to their words, a few of the kids kept forgetting he was blind in one eye. Usopp tried handing him something on his left side, getting irritated when Luffy made no move to take it. Nami reminded him that Luffy couldn't see out of that eye, which crushed Usopp's irritation immediately. Luffy hadn't even known that happened when Usopp gave him the thing from his other side.
Nojiko was worse. She became upset when Luffy paid no attention to her when she was trying to show him a drawing she made. She also got upset again that Luffy wouldn't take a drink she was offering him. Everyone was trying to include him in things today. They had a feeling he'd been feeling lonely recently. They didn't know how spot on they were. Luffy had been feeling very isolated, which he was doing to himself. It was like when he first came here, and he just stayed in Robin's closet all day when he actually wanted people to pay some attention to him. Back then, he had only been getting negative attention, like when he cut himself at dinner one night and didn't notice it. Or when he'd just sit somewhere and stare at nothing for hours. He knew that everyone had looked at him strangely, which was why he had never made eye contact.
So Nojiko was reminded multiple times by Robin to not try and get Luffy's attention from the left. Luffy heard Robin remind someone that he couldn't see and it embarrassed him. He couldn't help that he was blind in that eye, but it made him feel guilty. He blushed in embarrassment, but tried to hide his expression. Zoro noticed next to Luffy and wrapped his arm around Luffy's shoulders, who automatically leaned his head onto Zoro's shoulder. Nami giggled, causing Zoro to glare at her. But she smirked in response. They were just too cute.
Not long after Luffy leaned against Zoro, he was getting exhausted being around everybody. Luffy leaned closer to Zoro, his brows furrowed and biting his lip. Too much time around too many people. Zoro noticed his body language and expressions and knew Luffy was getting overwhelmed.
"We're gonna go back to our room for a while," Zoro said to everyone, making Luffy sigh in relief. He was glad Zoro knew him so well. At first he had hated that the green haired teen could read Luffy like a book, but now it was really convenient. The two walked up the stairs, Luffy still walking very slowly and carefully so he had no chance of falling.
The two sat on the bed, closing the door and locking it behind them. Luffy spoke as soon as he was in Zoro's lap. He looked a bit flustered, not really knowing how to bring the topic of what he wanted to say up without it being really sudden. Plus he felt it was a lot to ask, but he knew he'd feel better and safer if he did.
"What is it?" Zoro asked, noticing Luffy's obviously flustered expression.
"Remember when you suggested… self defense class a long time ago…? I… kinda want to," Luffy said. Zoro was shocked.
"Really?" he asked. "But you'd have to go out in public."
"I don't want to feel helpless ever again. I don't want to be too weak to fight back. And I don't want to lose another eye," Luffy said, with an uncharacteristically serious and intense voice. Zoro smiled proudly at his determined face. "Do you think Robin will be okay with that?" he asked, back to his quieter and more timid voice. Zoro kissed Luffy's cheek.
"I don't see why not," he replied. "I think she'll be very happy. I know she tries to act like she's not stressed, but to me it's obvious she doesn't think we're in the clear. So I know she will say yes. Do you want to go ask her now?" Zoro asked. Luffy shook his head. "Too many people down there?" Zoro guessed, receiving a nod from Luffy.
"Can we play video games?" Luffy asked, changing the subject to something less dark.
While the two played, it was obvious that Luffy was thinking about things other than the game. He was thinking about how, if he had done what Zoro suggested before Luffy got attacked, he might still have his left eye. If he had agreed to take self-defense right away, before he ended up in the hospital, would he have been able to fight back? Part of him wanted to say yes, but the other part, the one still trapped in his dark past, knew that he wouldn't have been able to overpower his dad because he was sick. If he had been taking classes, and hadn't been sick, he could have shouted out or he could have fought back in some way. What horrible timing that he had been sick and couldn't talk and therefore couldn't call for help. If only he had been stronger…
"You okay, Luffy?" Zoro asked when Luffy became so distracted by his thoughts his fingers completely stopped playing the game and he just sat there, staring off into space. "Luffy?" Zoro repeated.
Luffy was brought out of his pitiful thoughts going on in loops. "What?" he asked, looking at Zoro who looked concerned.
"Are you okay?" Zoro asked once again.
"Oh, yeah I was just thinking," he said, sounding a bit sad.
"Wanna talk about it?" Zoro asked. For once he really couldn't tell what Luffy was thinking about.
"I'm just wondering if I could have been able to fight back if I had done what you asked and started the class a long time ago. I - I know I act like I'm fine and all, but even having the new eye, I feel creepy and gross... I just feel wrong since that whole thing happened," Luffy confessed. "And my nightmares are still here. And those stupid flashbacks, too. I just… it's overwhelming sometimes. I feel like I'm always a ticking time bomb, and that I'll suddenly have a flashback and go crazy," he said sadly. "And I know they scare you. To see me like that," Luffy finished.
Zoro frowned at him sadly. "Yeah, the flashbacks and panic attacks scare me, but not as much as I know they scare you. I try my best to be there for you when they happen. I hope you know that. Someday I want you to be able to fight your demons off, with me by your side. Someday, you'll be free from your self-destructive thoughts. I know it," Zoro said and kissed Luffy's forehead. "I know you can do it. And there's no point for wondering what could have happened. Nothing can change the past." Zoro then hugged Luffy to his chest and then laid down for them to take nap, the game forgotten. Luffy had been feeling more exhausted during the day for a while. Especially today since he had to socialize what he considered a lot. They then both fell asleep, thankfully, for once, neither haunted by a nightmare.
Around an hour later, Nami knocked on the door and told them lunch was ready. Usually if the two were napping, everyone would let them sleep and have them eat afterwards. But Robin had made a huge lunch meal mostly because she had not made breakfast, having the others eat random things like cereal or yogurt.
Zoro woke up from the knock and gently moved Luffy to the side of him and walked over to open the door. "What?" Zoro asked, sounding a bit sleepy. He'd finally slept peacefully, and it was great.
"Robin made a big lunch. Luffy's favorite, so you should wake him up," she explained, looking fondly at Luffy sleeping deeply. He looked even younger than he already did when he slept. Maybe not younger in age, but in demeanor. It was hard to explain but he looked like a little kid with his face completely relaxed, which was rare. Nami smiled at him and walked away and down the stairs to the kitchen.
Zoro walked over to Luffy and said, "Luffy, lunch is ready," waking him up. "It's breakfast for lunch," was all Zoro needed to say to get Luffy jumping up and hurrying to the door without a word. Zoro chuckled. He still found it funny and endearing with how much Luffy loved breakfast food. Luffy had explained to him when Zoro asked why that his first real meal here he enjoyed was waffles. He then just happened to like the other breakfast food.
On his way down the stairs, Luffy was thinking of ways to ask Robin to let him take the self-defense classes. Like when he wanted to ask about buying his Kindle, he wanted a plan. But he couldn't ask Nami for help on this because he didn't want to involve her in the situation more than she already was. But he wanted to be brave enough to ask by himself this time. He just didn't know how.
He thought up different scenarios as he ate the meal enthusiastically. He had begun to eat at the edge of the corner of the table so he could see everyone with his right eye. He watched everyone talk and eat. They didn't seem so scared and werent looking suspiciously at the windows or doors. Luffy was happy that nobody was super scared anymore. He had felt guilty that is was Luffy's connection to the crazy man that exposed them all to danger. He ate slowly, and like always, ate nowhere near as much as Zoro did. Sometimes, to Luffy, Zoro's eating was a bit… weird. How could anyone eat so much and not get fat? When Luffy started eating healthy and bigger servings because he was told to by a doctor, he didn't gain weight very fast. He was only just now a more average size. His body proportions were still very small for his age, but now, when Zoro held him, Luffy's bones werent felt through his clothes.
Luffy had never been happy with his size until got together with Zoro. He liked that he was small enough to fit into Zoro's lap easily. He liked that Zoro could rest his chin on Luffy's head. He also liked being small enough to sleep on top of Zoro comfortably. He just liked being protected from the world by being small for Zoro.
Once lunch was over, everyone left the table and cleaned their dishes, and then they all went to do separate things. Only Luffy and Zoro stayed. Luffy was biting his lip, still not sure how to do this. He looked to Zoro, who had been watching, and was given an encouraging nod and smile. Luffy took a deep breath and walked over to Robin, holding his whiteboard in both hands.
"What is it, Luffy?" Robin asked nicely. She could tell from his body language that he was nervous. It was similar to how he acted when he asked for a Kindle so long ago.
Luffy uncapped his pen and wrote I was wondering if I could take a self-defense class. Robin was surprised. On habit, she looked to Zoro, who smirked at her. She assumed that meant it wasn't his idea. When Robin didn't respond right away, Luffy wrote again.
I don't want to feel helpless anymore. He was starting to look desperate, like Robin's silence was a bad sign. But then Robin smiled at him and told him "Of course you can take a self-defense class. But we have to find you a good one that can do one-on-one. You don't want to be in a big group, do you?" Luffy shook his head no. He surprised both Robin and Zoro by writing I want to do this by myself.
He wanted to learn by himself. Sure it would be easier for him to relax if Zoro was in the room, but he had to get used to if Zoro wasn't. The fact was that Zoro couldn't help him at the hospital because Luffy was all alone. Luffy didn't resent or hold a grudge with Zoro's absence, but it made him realize that no matter how much Zoro was with him, there was always the possibility of somehow being alone. He had to deal and acknowledge that possibility as a fact. Anything could happen.
Though everyone were basically feeling safe at the moment, since many weeks had past, something could still happen. When they least expect it. At least that was how it went when Luffy was in the hospital. He and Zoro had both not noticed a man snuck into the room. And now that Luffy couldn't see through one of his eyes, it had become more real that Luffy needed to be able to fend for himself, especially with that handicap.
I have to do this by myself Luffy wrote with a determined face, trying to get his point across nonverbally. Robin grew serious with Luffy's expression. "Alright," she said. "I'll look for some nearby trainers, and we will go meet them beforehand. That means you will have to go out in public, Luffy. And meet strangers. Are you prepared for that?" Robin asked.
On instinct, Luffy began to back out. He didn't want to go out in public. But the cowarace lasted all of two seconds before he convinced himself, forcefully, that it was unavoidable to meet new people. So he nodded, swallowing loudly. He couldn't see Zoro frowning behind him.
Robin told him she'd go online that day and search around. She was very impressed by his determination, and a bit confused as to why Zoro wasn't. It was very apparent on his face that he wasn't happy about something. But she let the two be and didn't say anything about it as the two walked to their room.
Luffy knew Zoro, and right now he could tell something was wrong. So the moment Zoro closed and locked the bedroom door behind him, Luffy asked, "Are you mad?" He really hoped he didn't upset Zoro, but he just knew he had to do this himself.
Zoro sat down next to him, Luffy automatically scooching over to his lap, laying his head down in the fold between Zoro's legs and looking up at him. Zoro looked down at him and gave a smile. "No, I'm not mad. Just a little confused. I don't want to sound needy or conceited, but why don't you want me there with you?"
Luffy was silent for a moment. He didn't want to hurt Zoro's feelings because Luffy knew how guilty Zoro felt about not being there for Luffy in his time of need.
"You're not gonna always be around. I want to know how to do it if I'm all alone again," Luffy said simply. Zoro inwardly flinched at the word again. "wouldn't you like to know i can help myself even if I'm all alone?" Luffy asked softly. Zoro got his point.
"Yeah, I'd rather you be able to save yourself if you have to. But if you're with me, I'll save you from any harm. I know… since last time we might get separated, but if you're with me, I'll do everything I can to save you or get you away. Okay?" he asked, his fingertips tracing Luffy's face. He almost giggled so he pushed Zoro's fingers away.
"Okay. I'll save you too," Luffy promised.
Robin spent a few hours on the computer and phone, looking for suitable defense classes with someone who has a good reputation. Luffy needed specific traits in a person. They have to be patient, understanding, empathetic, and to know when to stop. Robin knew all of the signs Luffy was feeling embarrassed. It was obvious to her and Zoro. the red face, furrowed brows, and biting lip were the giveaways.
She called places again and again. She also wanted someone who wouldn't meet once a week. She wanted a place with at least twice a week sessions, if not more. She knew Luffy would want to learn quickly, because there was a phantom time limit of his safety. Robin would never say it, but she was still uneasy about the whole situation. It had been over a month and nothing had happened, but his biological parents still hadn't been caught and could be anywhere.