Hello folks,yup I'm back again after a rather extended leave of absence. Thanks for all the encouragement and reviews I've had in the interim, you have all been fab. Just one more chapter to go now so hopefully it should all be finished soon lol, no really I mean it. Anyway here you go, I hope you enjoy it.
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Somewhere a boy fell…
Vetinari felt time ripple around him as he ran. He ignored the startled form of Aneurin Downey who cried out in fright as he tore across the rooftop and plunged off the edge of the building. He hit the ground and rolled, muscles he had forgotten he had were complaining angrily and were no doubt going to give him hell for the next few days. He ignored them. Jumping to his feet his head snapped around, getting his bearings but he was knocked over again as the universe rippled and time pulled the ground out from beneath his feet.
Pulling himself to his knees Vetinari saw the street in which he lay split in two, two ghostly images of the same scene playing before his eyes. Two nameless black alleys stretched out before him with numberless doors, perfect mirror images and in both, near the identical walls of identical high buildings lay the two bodies of the same young man.
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It was all going wrong, thought Susan as she ran. The Disc gave another great shift and she tried not to think about the fact that there were now two roofs beneath her feet and only one of her. Somewhere at her side Henriette was trying to run with her eyes closed.
If they didn't get there fast time would sew itself back together again the wrong way round and there would very probably be explosions, or something messy at any rate. Running between realities Susan just prayed she was going in the right direction. One of them had to die, one of them was supposed to die, she just wasn't sure which one.
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Vetinari stood in the middle of the rift and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was thinking. He was thinking very carefully indeed because it can be hard to concentrate when your memory is trying to replay itself before your eyes and can't quite decide what happens next.
Which one was it? Which one of these boys was him? He jammed his eyes tight shut and tried to think.
A low moan from each side broke his train of thought and his eyes snapped open rapidly. They were waking up. All around him reality quivered violently as the two strains of time and space slowly began to merge back into one with a relentless inevitability. They seeped into each other as the air fizzed and trembled around him. The two young men were already starting to flow together once more.
Vetinari sank to his knees once more. Anyone watching might have thought he was praying, but Havelock Vetinari believed in no Gods1. He stayed there, a little point of calm in the temporal maelstrom which surrounded him, for what felt like a long time. The suddenly he threw himself forward.
He landed astride the semi-conscious boy who was by this time almost whole again except that he appeared to have two heads. His steely gaze met both pairs of dazed and confused eyes; he was looking for something. The boy on the right blinked at him. The boy on the left frowned, "Who…" he began but he never got the chance to finish.
It was a fact that, while attending the Assassins School Havelock Vetinari had studied languages, although no one was sure which ones. However this did not negate the fact that it was a school for Assassins and no doubt his old tutors would have considered themselves proud if they had witnessed the speed with which he broke what was effectively his own neck. Dead before he could even cry out.
And so died the last of the ill-fated Vetinari family, his body cooling under the dark and relatively clear night sky of Ankh-Morpok.
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Henriette stopped running when everything went still. She glanced at Susan who stood by her side. Everything was quiet.
"Is it? Has he?" she asked.
"I don't know," replied Susan honestly.
That was when the Disc itself began to scream.
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In the alley Vetinari covered his ears and bent over the body of the dead boy, trying to block out the terrible cry that seemed to pierce his skin like a thousand ice-cold needles.
Damn, he thought to himself. Perhaps I killed the wrong one.
OH I DON'T THINK SO, said a voice from just inside his ear. He looked up to see the heavily cowled figure of Death, standing above him.
"Miss Susan?" he said.
DEAR ME NO, said Death. I'M SUSAN'S GRANDFATHER, LOOK. And he drew back the cowl to reveal gleaming bone. Vetinari nodded, the screaming was getting slowly quieter.
"Then if I might ask such a question, if I killed the right boy what was all the noise about?"
OH JUST TIME SORTING ITSELF OUT REALLY. HE ALWAYS HAS TO MAKE SUCH A FUSS ABOUT IT ALL.
"I see. So everything is as it should be, yes?"
ABSOLUTELY, LOOK FOR YOURSELF. Death indicated the boy on the ground and when Vetinari looked closely he saw that he was indeed alive and well. He was also rather unfortunately staring at him.
Death shook his head as he watched the future Patrician knock out his un-protesting younger self.
TELL ME, he said after a minute. HOW DID YOU KNOW WHICH ONE TO CHOOSE?
Vetinari picked himself up off the ground and meticulously dusted himself off. He indicated the boy, "He kept his mouth shut," he replied.
I DON'T THINK I UNDERSTAND.
"The other one didn't recognize me and was prepared to say so." Vetinari fixed Death with his coolest blue stare. "Whoever said that honesty was the best policy was not a politician. He simply would not have survived in my life."
Death was quiet for a while.
THEY DID TELL ME YOU'RE A HEARTLESS BASTARD, he said quietly.
Vetinari shrugged. "As Commander Vimes is so fond of telling me; everybody has to be something."
Death thought about this then he nodded.
ALRIGHT THEN, I SUPPOSE I'LL LEAVE YOU TO IT.
"Aren't you going to wait for your granddaughter? She and Miss Nonsense should be here any moment."
NO, SHE'LL ONLY YELL AT ME AGAIN AND QUITE FRNAKLY I CAN ONLY STAND IT ONCE EVERY FEW MONTHS AS IT IS.
"I see."
OH, UMM… WOULD YOU MIND NOT TELLING HER YOU SAW ME. SHE'S A BIT HIGHLY STRUNG AND IT WOULD JUST UPSET HER.
"And she would yell at you?"
MOST PROBABLY.
"Very well."
EXCELLENT. WELL, SEE YOU AROUND IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
Vetinari did not comment on this last as he watched the cloaked figure recede into the distance. Almost at the same time as Death finally disappeared Susan and Henriette came screaming around the corner behind him. Vetinari closed eyes and took a long steadying breath. He thought he almost preferred the company of Death.
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"Father what on the Disc have you been doing!"
Henriette was staring at the giant fishing net strung from the ceiling of the palace attic which at the moment contained at least twelve members of the palace guard who were indulging in a rather uncomfortable game of poker. One or two of them doffed their helmets at she and Susan.
"Oh hello Henriette," called Leonard cheerily from near the BOOT. "It's a formula for space travel. I thought we could modify the BOOT and use it to take the first really good look at Great A'Tuin. What do you think my Lord?"
As usual Leonard had gone completely off the actual route of the conversation and was currently indicating the wall of the attic which he had covered in chalky scrawl.
"Very interesting Leonard," replied the Patrician. "But I believe that your daughter was referring to the number of official personages you appear to be holding captive."
"Oh they aren't captives, actually they've been ever so co-operative. When I told them I was working for you they just couldn't do enough to help."
"Oi," came a voice from the net, "wachew mean you work for 'im. We though you said you work for the Patrician!"
"Ah," murmured Vetinari. "I think it might be a rather good idea if we left now Leonard."
"Yes my Lord," said the little man slightly sadly.
"Yes, I think it's time we got back," said Susan.
"But we are back Miss!" said Leonard in surprise.
"She means," began Henriette and then stopped herself. "Let's just go. I'll explain what she means later."
1 Which wasn't to say that he denied that they existed, he just didn't see the point in them. After all he had always found matters of destiny and the like to end much more beneficially when he dealt with them instead.