Two things before it starts:

- I have never played poker in my life and only have a very rudimentary understanding on how it works. I do know though that a Royal Flush beats the hell out of a Full House.

- The things Laxus is gonna reveal in this chapter have probably absolutely no relation to the actual Fairy Tail manga. I pulled everything pretty much out of my ass because it suited my purposes for the future developement of the story.

Thats all

Chapter 10

It was late in the evening when Laxus and Lucy finally found the time for the highly anticipated first poker lesson.

Lucy had turned out to be a quick study and after going over the general rules and some personal tips from Laxus, they had started their practice game. Fortunately the chill wind of yesterday evening had turned into a fresh breeze and the night air was warm, which was why the two Fairy Tail wizards had decided to play the game out on the balcony that connected both of their rooms. Laxus had taken immense pleasure in dragging the fine and surely expensive table and chairs across the floor, never minding when the furniture bumped against something, possibly (and hopefully) scratching up and chipping at the wood.

But that little piece of sadistic joy hadn't been enough to chase away the dark thoughts currently occupying his mind.

He could easily afford to dwell on those thoughts a little, it was after all only Lucy's first game of poker and didn't necessitate him to pay close attention.

The humiliating defeat he had suffered at the hands, - or rather from the asses – of those gassy freaks had left a black mark on his ego, but that hadn't been the only thing to piss him off.

Layton had to do something to annoy him even more. Not directly, of course. Mr. Stick-up-his-ass-noble couldn't possibly be bothered to take care of things himself. And why would he? Just because he heard sounds of fighting and things breaking didn't mean that the man of the house had to go himself and find out what happened, or if his wife and daughter were alright.

No. Not when you could just send your butler to take care of such troublesome things for you.

Oh, the dragon slayer had been angry when the head butler of the Layton mansion had rounded the corner, surveyed the scene and then informed them that "Master Layton wishes to be briefed about this recent commotion. You will find him in his office. I trust that the Lady Layton and the child are safe?"

The memory alone made him want to punch something. Or someone. Preferably a male, noble someone, who happened to live here. And maybe his fucking butler too.

After his announcement, that stick in a suit had looked at Laxus, scrunched up his nose, and then oh so politely suggested that the S-class mage freshen up before meeting with the master of the manor.

The comment about the stench coming off him had caused Lucy and Loki to giggle quietly.

Well, Lucy had giggled quietly. Loki had laughed out loud, held his stomach with one arm and pointed at Laxus with the other. Too bad the damn lion spirit had escaped into his own world before Laxus' lightning had reached him. Annoyed and frustrated, he had taken a minute to access the damage done to his person. And he hadn't liked the results he came up with. The trio's attack had been devastatingly effective. The stench had penetrated his clothes and for a moment he even suspected it had gotten under his skin. A few consecutive showers would take care of the second issue, but he knew that the first was a lost cause.

With a sneer on his face, regret in his eyes and anger in his voice, he had taken off his coat and shoved it into the hands of the disgusted looking head butler. He then told him to send a maid to his room to collect the rest of his contaminated clothes while he was in the shower and burn everything together. And that was really what it all boiled down to in the end.

The loss of his coat.

He snorted to himself while drawing a card from the stack and throwing some of his chips in the middle, raising the pot.

/It's not as if I liked the damn thing anyway!/

Of course not. Laxus wasn't the type of man who got overly attached to things.

/It was too showy. Not my style./

Getting attached to people, developing feelings for them and forming memories was inevitable, he had come to understand that in the last few years. But to get emotional over a coat? No. That was not him. Definitely not.

/The fucking fur was fucking annoying./

And he was not mentally swearing because he was actually really upset about the loss of his coat. Maybe he just liked swearing. Yeah, that was it. A guy who liked swearing and playing poker and beating people up. That was him. Laxus fucking Dreyar, S-class mage, one of Fairy Tail's strongest, all around bad-ass wizard and definitely NOT the kind of guy who would pout over a fucking coat!

The memory rushed him unprepared.

~ Slender fingers that held the soft looking, fur rimmed coat out to him. "Here, a little gift for making it to S-class. Because, you know, I don't feel like congratulating you for beating me and I'm pretty sure you are gonna look stupid in it." ~

The scene from so many years ago faded from his mind as soon as it had appeared and in an effort to regain his composure, he threw some chips in the middle and called Lucy's bluff. The younger blonde pouted.

"How did you know my cards weren't any good?"

Yeah, like that had been hard. He chuckled slightly while gathering the cards together and shuffling them for a new round.

"You might want to try not to look so nervous the next time you bluff."

Really, the girl had been obvious with all her fidgeting, quick glances at her cards and him and the slightly mischievous and anxious gleam she got into her eyes. She hadn't exactly looked like the kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. No, she had been more like the one that was about to put her hand inside, fully knowing she wasn't supposed to, but lured and seduced by the very notion of doing something forbidden. It had been funny and endearing in a way, watching her try to bluff him into believing she held more than the pathetic two of a kind in her hand.

Lucy huffed and pouted again as she contemplated his words and then got a determined look in her eyes, waiting for him to deal the cards. Laxus nodded approvingly. She might be a bad liar, but he liked her perseverance.

He was just about to deal out the cards, when with a sudden 'pop', Lucy's pink haired maid spirit appeared next to them. It very nearly startled him.

Virgo nodded briefly to him, then turned to Lucy and produced a colorfully wrapped package from behind her back.

"I have successfully completed your request, princess. Time for punishment?"

Laxus just stared. He might be able to get used to these spirits popping up out of the blue, but their odd quirks were a whole other ballgame. Lucy on the other hand smiled brightly at her spirit, stood up, took the package and gave the woman a one armed hug.

"No punishment Virgo. You did very well, thank you!"

Laxus could be mistaken, but he thought he saw a tiny, little smile on the face of the otherwise emotionless spirit. It was gone as soon as Lucy released her from the hug and after a quick bow to her master, Virgo vanished.

"What was that all about?"

When Lucy turned to look at him, there was still that wide, bright grin in place and it looked like the younger mage had a hard time containing her happiness. The next thing he knew the colorfully wrapped bundle was thrust right under his nose and Lucy was looking at him out of big, shining brown eyes.

"It's for you!"

Leaning back a little and taking the soft package out of her hands, Laxus regarded the girl with a raised eyebrow.

"For me? What for?"

It wasn't his birthday last time he checked. But the young woman just shrugged and smiled, urging him with her eyes to open his present. He held it gingerly in his hands, not sure how to proceed.

Slowly tearing open the wrapping paper, the dragon slayer mentally schooled himself on his reaction. He wasn't great with gifts. Neither giving nor receiving them. Which was mostly because, - as he had established before – he didn't care for things. He just didn't see the sense in getting overly excited about other people giving him something that he could have just as easily acquired himself. If there was something he wanted or needed, he got it, if he didn't need or want it, he didn't. It was that simple. Which meant that there were two possibilities on how gifts he received usually turned out. It was either something he already possessed, or something he had no use for.

Still, he would try to be happy about whatever it was Lucy had gotten him. The girl was so damn excited while watching him open his present, it would probably break her heart if he let his real feelings about it slip.

Well, at least this would help him to not think about his... coat. His coat that he had no emotional attachment to whatsoever, that had been another one of those gifts that he had not needed or wanted, but still kept. His coat that should be reduced to ashes by now.

The exact same coat that he was right now looking at, grasped in his hands after he had freed it from the wrapping paper.

Laxus was stumped. This couldn't be his coat. His coat had been reeking so badly that he was able to smell it all the way up to his room after handing it off to that stuck up butler. No amount of washing should have been able to erase this pungent odor from the fabric. But his sensitive nose couldn't pick up anything but a fresh smell and this was definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, his coat.

So when astounded blue eyes ripped themselves away from the soft, fur rimmed coat in his hands to search out chocolate brown, Laxus asked the only question he could think of right then.

"How?"

Lucy was grinning and even hopping a little up and down in exuberant joy.

"I snatched it from Lance after you left the room, then I re-summoned Virgo and asked her to get it cleaned up in the spirit world. They can do some amazing things there, you know?"

Still confused about having something back in his possession the loss of which he had already started to – not mourn, because he was not fucking emotionally attached to things, god dammit! - accept, he asked the young woman before him another question.

"Why?"

There had been no reason for her to go to the trouble. It wasn't like he even liked the damn coat. And he knew he hadn't given any such indication when he handed it off to be destroyed. But Lucy just shrugged.

"It's kind of your trademark, the coat, isn't it? It suits you, and it's warm and soft. I didn't want you to have to lose it. "

Damn that girl. How was he supposed to convince himself that he didn't care for the stupid coat if she just up and did something like this?

And now he felt all warm and stuff inside. The feeling was strangely familiar and yet very different from the last time he experienced it. And both incidents occurred because of the coat in his hands. He remembered feeling excited and nervous and embarrassingly giddy when the – back then – 16 year old girl had presented him with the coat. He had hated the thing on sight, but damn if her snarky smile hadn't set him aflame.

Yes, it had been a different kind of warm, fuzzy feeling with his long time – not crush! She may be a woman and he may be attracted to her, but he didn't fucking crush on anyone. He had his dignity, thank you very much. - friend than it was now. Back then it had been a heat, an adrenaline rush with a touch of lust. Okay, a lot of lust.

Now, with Lucy, it was a comfortable, calming warmth. She had done something for him, out of the simple desire to make him happy. This pleased and touched him in a way that was foreign for him. Laxus knew lust, knew friendship and he was pretty sure he had a handle on love. This affection that he felt growing for Lucy was new, but... he liked it.

His thoughts brought a smile to his lips.

"Thank you, Pixie."

The words felt familiar.

"You're welcome. Now, let's play another round. I'm confident that I'm going to win this time!"

Smile still firmly in place, Lucy sat back down in her chair and waited for Laxus to deal the cards.

Laxus shuffled the cards once again for the next game, a little absent minded. It felt like he had thanked her quite often in the last two days. Well, she had done a lot for him. Things she probably didn't even know she had done. Things he had never expected would mean so much to him. And all of a sudden Laxus felt restless. He wanted to do something for Lucy. Just helping her with this mission didn't seem enough anymore. So far she had trusted him with parts of her past, had fought for him when he was incapacitated and given him back something he had tried fooling himself into believing he didn't want.

/How?/

The question flipped around in his head.

/What can I do?/

The answer came to him in form of a memory.

~ "Say Laxus, do you mind telling me about your mother?" ~

How come this conversation seemed to be so long away, when it had been just yesterday that they had been making their way through the town towards the mansion. Yesterday he hadn't answered her query, because he feared she would think badly of him, or judge him. But now he knew she wouldn't. Lucy had trusted him with her past, it was time he trusted her with his. But it didn't feel like an obligation. He smiled and began dealing the cards.

"Rosalyn."

Lucy looked up from her cards, questioningly. "What?"

This wasn't quid pro quo.

"My mother's name was Rosalyn. She died giving birth to me. That's about all I know of her."

He wanted her to know.

Lucy froze in the motion of picking up her cards. From all the things she had expected to come out of the older mages mouth, those words didn't even make the top 100.

"I'm so sorry."

Opposite from her, Laxus smirked slightly.

"What did I say about apologizing for things that aren't your fault?"

The dragon slayer was already in the process of sorting the cards in his hands, so taking her clues from him, Lucy picked up her own as well.

"Did your father never talk about her?"

She wasn't sure if it was a good idea to ask the question. She might be touching on a very sensitive subject here. But it was Laxus who had started the conversation about his mother, and she hoped that meant that he wanted to talk about it. Said mage shook his head and exchanged two of his cards.

"No. I remember asking him about her once when I was very young. He just glared at me and left the house. That was shortly before I started living with gramps. I thought about asking him, but I guess I was afraid that he would react the same way my father had and leave me."

Saying that felt strange. Laxus liked to think of himself as a strong, powerful man. Indestructible. Admitting to a fear of abandonment should feel like a weakness. Yet, oddly, it didn't. Not with Lucy.

"I was rather weak as a child. Not so much in terms of health, but magic prowess. I had magical talent, I just wasn't very good at it. Even simple spells took a lot of time for me to master."

No one but his grandfather (and his father) knew this, and Laxus had never planned to share this with anyone. Yet the words just spilled from his lips, as if a dam had broke.

"That's probably what caused the distance between my father and me. I think he really loved my mother, you know? Loosing her to a son that turned out to be so weak must have been a hard blow."

Lucy so wanted to protest right then. She had even opened her mouth and drawn in a breath to shout out that just because he didn't have a lot of magical power as a child, did not make him weak and was certainly no reason for his father's neglect. But she stopped herself. She didn't know how she knew, but she was certain that Laxus needed to keep talking. Let it all out. So she said nothing, drew a card and added more of her chips to the pot.

"I was 14 when he had some quack doctor implant the lacrima. That's how I got the scar."

He pointed at the lightning bolt shaped scar across his eye.

"I don't remember the actual pain, but I know it hurt a lot. My magic wasn't compatible with the lacrima. It took a few days for my body and mind to accept and accommodate the change."

He grimaced a little as he remembered those days. That ordeal had been anything but pleasant and very nearly cost his life. He decided to spare Pixie that little detail.

"But after I got used to the lacrima, everything changed. I was stronger, faster, my senses so much sharper. I could suddenly do things that seemed impossible before. And father started spending time with me. Well, all he really did was train me, and it was fucking hard. But back then I was just young and naive enough to believe that this was his way of showing affection for me."

Lucy bit her lip in an attempt to not let her tears fall. She couldn't interrupt Laxus now. She needed to hear everything he was willing to say.

"Gramps knew nothing about all this. He must have assumed Ivan had finally managed to pull his head out of his ass and spend some long overdue quality time with his son. When father and I returned to the guild after roughly a year of training, he sensed the change in my magic and confronted father about what he had done. I had never before seen the old man so furious. Then he kicked father out of the guild. I didn't understand it back then. Father had finally paid attention to me, I was finally able to follow in his and gramps' footsteps. And instead of being happy about it, gramps goes and kicks out my father. We got into a huge fight. I don't even remember what was said anymore, I was just so angry. I wanted to go with my father, tried convincing him to take me along, start our own guild. But I guess the only worth he saw in me was as a future connection to Fairy Tail."

Laxus breathed deeply, thinking back to his fight with Raven Tail at the GMG. And his father's demands about Fairy Tails well guarded secret. If he had known back then when he was 15 what he did now, if he hadn't been such a bull headed teenager, there would probably be far less regrets.

"My father was a powerful mage, my grandfather was master of one of the strongest guilds, and due to the lacrima and the training I had undergone, I was rapidly growing in strength and admirers. It was about power. That was the only thing I understood back then, and I became obsessed with it. If I needed power to gain my fathers attention and others respect, I would get it. I didn't care about the things gramps tried to teach me about Fairy Tail being a family. After all, how much worth could there be in those words when the old man could kick out his own son just like that? So I put nearly all my time and effort into training, and soon I was the only S-class mage in Fairy Tail after Gildarts and gramps. I had Bixlow and Freed and Evergreen who followed me and hung onto my every word.
I was pretty full of myself. The more I trained, the stronger I became, and the stronger I became, the more I trained. It was never enough. And while I was so fucking focused on getting more powerful, all I seemed to hear in the different towns was how much damage one of those 'Fairy nuts' had caused during their last mission, or how the Magic Council had once again reprimanded that 'crazy guild'. It pissed me off.
I still had this insane desire to prove myself to my father and I was so certain that he would come back if I could just change the guild's reputation. Of course, that wasn't going to happen as long as gramps just sat back and allowed those whack-jobs to carry on with their shenanigans. So I decided to take over, and designed my crazy plan with the thunder palace. It made so much sense to me at the time. I would be guildmaster, remove the troublemakers and those I considered too weak, no one would even dare make a snide remark about Fairy Tail again and father would come back."

Laxus paused, feeling strangely exhausted. He took a look at his cards and shoved the rest of his chips in the accumulated pile in the middle. This would be the last round.

"I was a fool. Fairy Tail never needed changing. I did. And it took far too much for me to finally understand that."

He sighed. "Sometimes I wonder if maybe my father was right in abandoning me. My life surely wasn't worth that of the woman he loved."

He hadn't meant to say that last part. It was one of his deepest, darkest thoughts never meant to be spoken out loud. But there was no way to take it back now. So immersed in his self-deprecating thoughts, Laxus never noticed when Lucy stood from her chair and hastily made her way over to him. But he sure as hell did notice when he suddenly had an armful of celestial spirit mage in his lap, who had thrown her arms around his neck and was hugging him with all her might. He had just registered that when she began to talk.

"That's not true. That is NOT true! So you made a few mistakes, big deal! Everybody does! You are a good man, Laxus. In fact, you are great. And your father is an idiot for not seeing that! Whatever happens after death, wherever she is, your mother loves you and she must be very proud of you. I'm sure of that! So don't ever say stuff like that again! Don't even think it! If I can't apologize and feel guilty about things that aren't my fault, then neither can you! Understand?"

It took a few seconds for Laxus to shake himself out of his stupor and sort out everything Lucy had just said. The words had practically exploded out of her and nearly overwhelmed him in the rapid pace they had been spoken into his shoulder. In the next moment the older mage realized that the girl in his lap was shaking slightly, clinging to him tighter and some tears must have escaped her eyes, judging by the slight wetness he felt on his neck.

/She is crying for me./

Her words repeated In his mind.

~So you made a few mistakes, big deal! Everybody does!~

But his mistakes weren't the same as the mistakes of others. His mistakes hadn't been simple, hadn't been harmless and shouldn't have been so easily forgiven.

~You are a good man, Laxus. In fact, you are great. ~

Was this the truth? Could it be that easy?

~Whatever happens after death, wherever she is, your mother loves you and she must be very proud of you.~

Would just saying it make it real? Would it become the truth if one believed it? Was it already?

~So don't ever say stuff like that again! Don't even think it! If I can't apologize and feel guilty about things that aren't my fault, then neither can you! Understand?"~

/Maybe it is./

A weight Laxus had never even known was there lifted from his shoulders with this realisation. Unintended, his eyes caught sight of Lucy's cards across the table. They laid face up, where she had obviously just let them fall before she tackled him in a hug.
She had a full house.
Then he looked down at his own hand that, mysteriously enough, still held his cards. A royal straight flush.

He smiled, laid his cards face down on the table and then, finally, wrapped both his arms around the silently crying girl in his lap.

"Understood, Pixie. You win."

to be continued...

As most of you may have noticed, (because I sent everyone who left a signed review for the last chapter a pm) I will no longer answer reviews in the following chapter. It really just occurred to me that that gives a very wrong impression about the actual lengths of the story. It does feel a little like cheating if the chapter is marked with about 6000 words, and only 3000 about those are actual story contents. So, if you have a question, suggestion or anything else, I will still answer your review, but you must be signed in so that I can PM you.

Sadly, I once again can't recommend a Fairy Tail fanfic for you, I just haven't stumbled across one that I really liked - though I have to admit I was a little distracted with other fandoms and hardly looked for Fairy Tail fics. I could recommend some pretty good reads for Ranma fans though, if anyone is interested. Well, it's one author, really. Check out the stories of blackdragon6. The guy is a genius. (Not for people who are overly fond of Akane)

Before I forget, many thanks to my beta General Zargon, who was like 'The Flash' of Beta-readers and sent me back the chapter in what has to be record time.