Chapter 8
"PUTRICIDE, YOU'RE A LICH!?" MidgetGnome screeched as he looked upon the nutty professor who stood before them with his head cocked to the side. Now that his true face was revealed he looked even creepier than before. The white glowing eyes were regarding the tangle of MidgetGnome and TurkeyFeather's fusion, and Andr, with a dry sort of amusement. The sharp features of his face gave off the impression of a vulture. He tapped his chin with those long, skeletal, clawed fingers as if pondering the question. Finally he answered in Putricide's old voice that appeared to be only teetering on the brink of insanity.
"I appear to be, astounding isn't it?" Putricide did a little twirl in front of his comrades, before turning back and smiling a grin that sent shivers up Andr's spine. Putricide squinted his eyes at the mass of bodies before him, all too stunned to make a move, "Will you too untangle yourselves or will I have to untangle you with a saw?"
As if on cue, MidgetGnome and TurkeyFeather separated into their original forms and quickly got off of Andr, who blushed scarlet as MidgetGnome crawled off of her chest. Putricide also decided to turn back and as he regained his original form, he closed his eyes and put his pair of goggles back onto them. He turned back towards where their horses were standing at the beginning of the skirmish, and frowned. He turned back quickly to MidgetGnome who stood apart from a still blushing Andr and cleared his throat rather loudly.
"Ah-hem" MidgetGnome looked quizzically at Putricide who looked very sheepish, with his hands behind his back. Putricide gave MidgetGnome a weak smile and held up his hands in defeat.
"So, who's up for walking?" Andr stopped blushing like an idiot and looked at Putricide, a question in her mind. She was just about to open her mouth to ask, but she was beat to it by none other than MidgetGnome.
"What do you mean TurkeyFeather? Why will we have… to… walk… what happened to the horses…?" MidgetGnome drooped down a considerable amount after the last statement.
"Well, why don't you check for yourself Mr. Almighty-short-small-brained-wizard?" TurkeyFeather said with a small giggle. MidgetGnome didn't even hear the last part of the phrase because he rushed past Putricide to see what became of the horses, and the pony, he spent a small fortune on. The sight that greeted him made him scream.
"No, no, no uh-um, no no no no, NO A THOUSAND FUCKING TIMES NO!" MidgetGnome threw his hands up in the air as he screamed, "Dear Ender please no, NOOOOO!"
"MidgetGnome what are you screa-" Andr never got to finish her sentence because as she looked at what MidgetGnome was screaming at, she had to quickly look away, as to avoid puking.
"Yep, seems like we're walking." Putricide said matter-of-factly.
Before them lay the mangled, cadaverous bodies of their mounts, who were oozing their blood onto the already red ground. Coward's throat was torn out by the undead, an expression of horror lingering on his still face. Shadowmane's head was quite simply missing. And Rattlegore was torn apart into thousands of pieces, his innards piled up in a heap. TurkeyFeather made a choking noise before uttering a few words in a really sickly voice.
"Even I *urp* don't want to eat that." TurkeyFeather gagged as he turned away from the grotesque sight before him. Putricide just shook his head before turning east and continuing to make his trek through the forest of grass.
"I suggest we hurry up and get out of here, daylight should break through shortly. When it does I want to be as far away from here as possible." Everyone else just nodded solemnly at Putricide's words and began to follow him. Not a single word was uttered as they made their way through the wall of greenery, since the bitter-sweet, putrid smell of dead and decaying flesh filled their nostrils and their bodies with the desire to regurgitate.
. . . . .
"YES!" Andr released a victory whoop as they finally broke out of the darkness of the Blade Grass and into the shining light of a bright, cloudless morning. The light seemed to dance in their unaccustomed eyes, threatening to initially blind them. They all looked horrible, the lack of sleep haven seriously done most of them into the ground. Putricide was slouching even more than usual, releasing a large sigh with every step, his feet only capable of shuffling among the short grass, dirt and rocks. Putricide's arms hung loosely at his sides, and his face was red due to the drying blood that caked it from their previous encounter in the grass forest. A retarded grin split his face in two as he finally trudged out into the light.
Andr was possible in an even worse shape than Putricide. Her eyes were drooping, her clothes had many tears and gashes on it, and from head to toe she was caked in the same drying blood that covered Putricide's face. Her hair looked like a crow's nest, and almost rivaled Putricide's in its mess. She was dragging her feet behind her as she slowly but surely made her way out into the light. As the first rays of light hit Andr's face she held up a hand to cover her eyes. When she finally moved her hand away from her face she let out a triumphant whoop.
"YES!" She once again fist pumped the air. Putricide joined Andr in their cheering. Suddenly a loud curse could be heard from behind them, following it was a loud crash, and a fit of TurkeyFeather's laughter.
"Shit." MidgetGnome swore as he slowly got to his feet, only to have TurkeyFeather begin to attempt to tickle him. MidgetGnome swiped at TurkeyFeather but the feather seemed to be ready for it. He lowered himself and then casually floated over to Putricide who was having a really hard time keeping himself from bursting into fits of laughter. Andr seemed to be having a much harder time with this, for one could hear the small giggles that escaped her lips.
"What *snicker* happened?" Putricide asked as a small snicker escaped him mid-sentence. MidgetGnome just glared at him. He slowly began to walk forward keeping his eyes fixated on TurkeyFeather, whose magical maw was plastered in a giant grin. He then jumped up in surprise as he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He looked up startled only to meet Andr's eyes.
"MidgetGnome," Andr said with a straight face. "What happened?" MidgetGnome just rolled his eyes as he brushed her hand off of his shoulder. He cleared his throat before answering.
"Well I'll tell you if you beat TurkeyFeather up for me, or at least set him on fire." MidgetGnome shot another deadly glare at TurkeyFeather, who cracked up with laughter. He grinned at MidgetGnome before turning to Andr.
"Well, you see my dear the reason why MidgetGnome, or Mr. Can't-take-a-joke, is upset is because I hit him with a rock, all in pure fun of course." TurkeyFeather whistled a tune while twirling on top of Putricide's head. Putricide, not being able to control himself any longer, let out a maniacal shriek before tumbling to the ground and continuing to laugh at MidgetGnome there.
"Oh my Ender, MidgetGnome are you ok?" Andr turned a worried gaze towards MidgetGnome, who just seemed to be even more furious. She leaned in to touch him, to see where TurkeyFeather hit him, but it was too late. MidgetGnome jumped at TurkeyFeather waving his scythe around wildly, screaming bloody murder and how he will make TurkeyFeather wish he was their past mounts.
"Ugh," Putricide groaned as he finally stood up and walked over next to Andr, "I'm getting too old for this." He grimaced as he popped his hip back into place with a loud crack. It was a strange sight but Andr was used to it already, but at the present she had more important thoughts in her head.
"Shouldn't we stop those two?" Putricide turned to look at her, as if she was some strange oddity.
"Really? And how do you propose we do that without getting sent to the Nether by MidgetGnome?" Andr shrugged as if the answer seemed obvious.
"I guess I could use you as a meat shield while I go and hold down MidgetGnome before he blows something up in his manhunt for TurkeyFeather. He could hurt himself." Putricide gapped at Andr like a fish on land. He slapped himself before lifting up his goggles and squinting at Andr.
"Do you perhaps li-"
"*KABOOM*" A loud explosion resounded in their ears as a giant mushroom cloud began to form before their eyes. Putricide let out an irritated sigh as he turned to Andr.
"Shall we go see if there are any survivors?" He asked mockingly before turning to head for the blast zone with Andr following closely on his heels.
. . . . .
"Are we there yet?" MidgetGnome asked for what seemed to be the hundredth time as the company trudged down the road towards the Tower of Abylon. Putricide was glaring intently at the map before him as if it was his greatest arch nemesis. Andr yawned as she cuddled in the back of the wagon, hugging TurkeyFeather close to her. TurkeyFeather was also snoring as the fatigue ridden group slowly made their way across the land in the small cart that they managed to 'borrow' from the locals. One look at the MidgetGnome and TurkeyFeather fusion and they were willing to throw more than just a cart at them so that they would leave.
Now that they had a horse driven cart the rest of the journey seemed to be going by smoother, though considering their last test run with animals MidgetGnome was reluctant to get another animal and instead proposed that they use Andr for the physical labor. He quickly shut up when Andr threatened to tear off whatever Daemonics had that passed for genitalia, in a much less polite manner of course.
"Are we there yet?" MidgetGnome poked Putricide in the shoulder to get his attention. Putricide just mumbled some sort of reply similar to, fuck off. "Hey, I'm talking to you."
"I am well aware of that MidgetGnome, but you can clearly see the ruins of the Tower of Abylon in the distance, it's not that hard unless you're blind." Putricide grumbled as he went back to staring at the map.
"Well if it is so close then why are you glaring at the map so much?"
"Because, my retarded companion, I want to find a different route that would not lead us back through the Blade Grass field. I had enough of an adventure as it stands and something tells me that I am going to get a lot more at the ruins." MidgetGnome rolled his eyes as he scooted over next to Putricide.
"So that is the reason you are staring at the map?"
"Basically. It would have been a lot more helpful if you would not have wasted the Teleportation Crystal I worked so hard to make at the swamp." Putricide shot MidgetGnome a dark glare.
"Look, I already apologized for that, didn't I?" MidgetGnome looked exasperated at constantly being reminded about his wasteful use of the crystal to get out of the tower.
"Not to mention you almost killed TurkeyFeather with that explosion today." Putricide went on unfazed, then he paused for a second, "Of course I wouldn't have been angry at you for I would finally get to dissect him, but, BUT, Andr was super pissed at both of you AND me for no apparent reason."
"Actually, if I remember correctly her reason was that you should take better care of yourself and yada yada yada, blah blah blah, responsibilities." MidgetGnome attempted to imitate Andr's voice when she was berating them but only succeeded in sounding like a chocking chipmunk. "Or something along those lines."
"Speaking of Andr, I have something I would like to discuss with you." Putricide turned his gaze at MidgetGnome, who just looked worried. He pointed at the reins that Putricide was holding and asked a question that made Putricide release a girly giggle.
"Umm, shouldn't you be watching the road?"
"MidgetGnome, don't try to change the subject. I know you don't want to hear it but-" Putricide was once again interrupted by MidgetGnome who shot him a stare so cold it could freeze the Great Sea to the roots. Putricide visibly flinched as the Daemonic in front of him began to ground out each syllable.
"Precisely Putricide, I don't want to hear it. I really don't care if you are a lich, Nether you could be a primordial dragon for all I care, but topics such as Charlotte, Andr, TurkeyFeather's true identity and the Shadowking are off limits and I will discuss them with, and I shall repeat it again if I have to, no one." MidgetGnome spat out the phrase venomously, the hint of murder, that Putricide was not used to being directed at him, was once again a raging flame in those glowing golden orbs.
Just as quickly as the anger came, it seemed to pass, almost like a droplet of water cascading down a face. MidgetGnome once again looked up with a smile on his face. The demonic side of MidgetGnome always set Putricide's nerves on edge, and this time was no exception.
"Ok, ok I got it. I will not speak about it anymore. I do value my own life after all." Putricide shook his head as he turned back towards the road. MidgetGnome turned to look back at the sleeping Andr and TurkeyFeather and thought about his other companions.
"I wonder how Sheepoos, Joshua, Terrakion, Luna and Charlotte are doing." Putricide just shrugged the thought aside as he went back to glaring at his worst nemesis, the map.
"They could be anywhere from perfectly fine to dead in a deep grave. Honestly though considering that their group is stronger than ours, and we aren't dead yet, I'd say they are fine."
"I guess so. When we're getting back I'm making sure to learn all the elemental magic I can from Sheepoos. I am sick and tired of only using spatial magic." MidgetGnome stared at his right hand; the glove was slowly beginning to erode away from the amount of dark matter that has been used.
"Oh and let us not forget to invite Andr over for dinner, and other stuff." Putricide grinned at MidgetGnome who just huffed in annoyance.
"Shut up."
"Well you two seem like a wonderful ray of beautiful sunshine with butterflies and rainbows and stuff." TurkeyFeather said as he floated over to MidgetGnome's hat. He snuggled into it as he began to moan, groan and complain like an old lady, "It's so cold today. I feel as if we are in the subzero temperatures of the north."
"Oh quit your whining, I don't feel a thing." Putricide said as he stared at the little floating magical fire that TurkeyFeather produced to warm himself up. He snickered as MidgetGnome tried to look up to see what the feather was doing.
"Well, I'm not undead or made up of energy so I can sense a change in temperature. Any ways you know I'm sensitive to the cold." TurkeyFeather shuddered at the thought, "I do believe I am freezing solid up here."
"What the hell is he doing on my hat?" MidgetGnome questioned as he continued to pivot in his seat.
"Oh nothing, absolutely nothing." Putricide snickered once again.
"Would you stand still for a second here? I'm getting dizzy." TurkeyFeather complained, once again. It would appear that nothing was ever to his taste.
"How long till we reach the tower I'm getting cramps here." MidgetGnome also began to whine.
"Well if you would stop spinning around like an idiot you would now that we will reach it soon." Putricide pointed forward at the tall structure looming directly in front of them. The pale grey stone was weathered and broken. The courtyard in front of the tower was in no better shape. Dried blood still caked the stones and even the plant life didn't come near the ruins. It would not surprise anyone that people considered this tower to be cursed; it could be cursed for all MidgetGnome cared. He will still look for clues about the prophecy in this Ender forsaken tower.
"*YAWN*" Andr yawned loudly in the back of the wagon as she slowly propped herself up with her arms and gazed at the Ruins of Abylon. The sun hid behind the massive object, forcing them to tread into its shadow, and the terrors that it hid.
"Oh Andr, I'm glad that you could be awake with us for at least the last part of the journey." Putricide said as he looked back at her. Andr just rubbed her eyes with the back of her right arm.
"So that is the Tower of Abylon?" Andr questioned as she slowly turned to face MidgetGnome.
"Well, technically yes, now though it is just a pile of rubble, sad I know."
"The sun is setting." TurkeyFeather nodded sagely at his own words of wisdom. Putricide just sighed and turned towards the tower with a sense of purpose. A small grin slowly split his face.
"The sun is setting and we are heading towards the Ruins of Abylon. Time to see of these myths, of the ruins of this mighty tower being haunted, are true." He began to urge their horse to move faster and he himself began to lean forth eagerly, waiting for whatever will be waiting for them with great anticipation.
MidgetGnome flexed his right hand and turned to look back at Andr who was holding onto the hilt of her blade. He smiled slowly but the smiled never reached his eyes. TurkeyFeather yawned loudly as MidgetGnome said.
"This is where the fun begins."